True to his word, Aaron checked in with Erin over the next two months to see how she was doing. She was never as open or emotionally honest with him as she had been in that email. He tried not to let it bother him, but it did. As he stared out the window of the jet, Dave touched his shoulder.
"Erin's coming over for supper tonight. We'd like you to come as well. I think she needs you more than she realizes."
"I'd like that, Dave."
The jet landed and they headed back to the Academy. Erin was coming out of Penelope's office as they entered the bullpen and he locked eyes with her. Aaron felt frozen to the spot as he watched her mouth his name. He nodded to her and was rewarded with a tiny smile.
Erin descended the stairs and came up to him and Dave. "I'll see you tonight, David?"
"Yes, at six. I don't know how much longer we'll be able to have these suppers. Penny's doctor thinks she'll have to be on bed rest in the next month."
"You never said she was having trouble, Dave." Hotch looked at his friend in concern. "I'll give her anything she needs."
"And I'll approve it." Erin touched Dave's shoulder. "The baby is the most important factor here."
She looked ready to say more when the mail clerk approached them. "Chief Strauss! Carri told me I'd find you down here. I have a letter for you from Iowa. There's no return address, so I thought I'd hand deliver it to you, just in case."
"Thank you, Bernice." Erin took the large envelope from the woman and lovingly brushed her thumb over the writing on the front. "If you'll excuse me."
She turned to go, but Aaron stopped her. "Go, read your letter in my office. We need to debrief this case together, anyway. It's closer than going all the way back to yours." She nodded, a soft, caring, look in her eyes.
"Thank you, Aaron." She walked up to his office, shutting the door behind her.
Dave helped him round up the others and they very carefully went over how they would word their reports from the Montana case, careful to make no mention of the connection between the two Johnsons, or to Wyoming. For once, he was glad for the backlog in case files, as it had worked in their favor.
"I had Penelope pull the old reports to read how we described the torture of the previous victims. Please take care not to use the same terminology as found there, as that will raise big red flags with Erin. This is the case where she does have an elephant's memory." The others nodded and then got to work. For once, Aaron had completed his report on the plane and so he was able to talk to Dave.
"Did you know she'd written her?" he asked lowly.
"Yes. She sent the letter out a month ago. Don't mention it tonight. Penelope's still trying to make her happy."
"Something must be working. She's been putting back on the weight she recently lost, and some of the hollowness is disappearing from her face." Aaron sighed. "Five months is such a short time…"
"And yet it feels like an eternity, doesn't it? Five months ago, I had no inkling I was going to be a father. Or that our lives would be so radically changed. Woo her gently, Aaron. She does care for you."
"Just as I care for her. I'll see you tonight, Dave. I have to go clear my head." He turned and left the room, going over to his office. He opened the door and saw Erin curled up on his sofa, staring at the letter in her hands. She looked up at him, a sad smile on her lips.
"Would you like to hear about my daughter?" She was open to him, and he took the opening she offered by nodding. Erin patted the spot next to her and he sat down. She adjusted herself to curl up against him and he instinctively wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Dear Erin, I was wondering if I would find you or if you would find me first. Then I found out you are an FBI agent and it all made sense that you sought me out first. I grew up with four brothers and a penchant for dreaming. Mom and Dad don't understand why I love to write so much. I've always wondered if I inherited that from you. Find enclosed one of my college graduation photos and one of my short stories. As my professors always say, you can tell a lot about a person through what they write. Love in Christ, Georgia."
"She sounds lovely, Erin," he murmured as she set the letter aside.
"And she's just as beautiful. Here." She handed him the 8x10 her daughter had included. The first thing Aaron noticed about Georgia was her eyes. They were the same shade as Erin's. "I don't know if I want to meet her, Aaron. What if I fail her somehow?"
"You could never fail anyone." He rubbed her shoulder gently and she looked up at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "I've been invited to supper tonight as well. I don't want to surprise you with my being there."
"That'll be lovely. I, I've actually missed talking to you on our brief evenings together. Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being a good friend. I love Penelope, she's the sister I was never blessed with, but your quiet strength has pulled me through, close to the shore. I'm not as far out as I was." She twisted her body so that she faced him. Without warning, she leaned in and kissed him.
He brought his arms down to her waist, holding her close as she continued the kiss. A soft knocking came at the door and then it opened. "Hey Hotch, did Dave tell you…oh, I'll just come back later." They both looked up at Penelope and she smiled at them. "I'll see you tonight, if not before."
Erin sat up, smoothing her skirt. "Is there anything you need me to bring?"
"Besides your smiling self? No, we'll have it covered. Oof!"
"Are you all right?" they both asked at the same time.
"Yeah, Irene just kicked really hard. I swear, she gets stronger by the day." She entered the room, closing the door behind her, and turned one of the chairs in front of his desk around to face them. Carefully, she sat, rubbing her stomach. "Is this normal? You've both been through pregnancies. Well, I mean, obviously, you weren't the pregnant one, Hotch, but still, I'm kind of worried. Don't tell Dave, though. He's worried enough about me as it is."
Erin leaned against him once more, tucking her legs beneath her. "What are you most worried about, Penny?"
"That I won't carry her to term and she'll be here too soon."
"You're about twenty four weeks along, right?" Penelope nodded. "Do you want medical facts or sugarcoated facts?"
"Halfway in between?"
'Okay, the longer you incubate Irene from this point on, the greater her chance for viability. Right now, she has about a seventy percent chance at surviving, and then two weeks after that, the odds go up to ninety percent."
Aaron looked down at Erin in wonderment. "How do you know all that?"
"I looked it up. As I've shown you, Aaron, I do have a heart buried in here somewhere." She stood up and fixed her hair before stalking from the office.
"Smooth move, Boss Man. Just when you'd made some progress with her, you stick your foot in your mouth." Penelope giggled and stood up as well. "I suppose crow in on the menu for you tonight." She left the room, whistling some tune he found vaguely familiar. He could only wait for this evening to come.
Time slowed to a trickle as he waited for the clock to get to six and he could go join his friend. At fifteen minutes to six, he shut the folder of the current case he was finishing up and set it aside. Standing up, he left everything else for Monday, knowing no matter what happened that night, he'd have no concentration until then.
He pulled into the drive right behind Erin and noticed she was waiting for him at the front of her car. "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier. Sometimes I put my foot in my mouth."
"And sometimes I react before I think." She put her hand in the crook of his elbow and they went to the door. Dave answered and let them in, motioning for them to go into the dining room.
After the meal, they all went into the den. "So, I picked up a new game the other day, and I thought we'd play tonight. It's called Risk."
"The board game?" Aaron asked, looking at Penelope.
"No, this is a card game. We're each supposed to draw one card from the favorites, low risk, and high risk deck, but since it's new to us, I thought I'd just draw one of each and we could answer the questions. The instructions said we should start with favorite and work up to high risk."
Erin nodded, so Aaron followed suit. "Sounds like this could be kind of interesting."
"Great. So, the first question is What is your favorite book? That's easy. The Tank Girl omnibus. Dave?"
"I'd have to say mine is All Quiet on the Western Front. Hotch?"
He thought for a moment. "I haven't had much time to read for pleasure lately. But if I had to pick a book that's stuck with me over the years, then it would be The Stand." He looked at Erin. "And what about you?"
"You'll laugh, but it's actually a fantasy book called Deerskin." Penelope drew in a quick breath. "I know, so cliché, right? But it's been a comfort to me, ever since…"
Penelope nodded quickly and read the next question. "Okay, so for our low risk question we have: What is happiness? I'd say that happiness, to me, is right here in this room, with you all. You bring such joy to me life." After they'd all answered, she read the final question. "And then there's this. If you could go back and change one thing about your life so far, what would it be? I know this is supposed to be high risk, but this is easy. Nothing. If I changed one iota of what's happened to me, I might not be here with you now."
"I wish I could say the same." All eyes swung to Erin and she clasped Aaron's hand tightly. "I've thought about this a lot, actually. I would go back and bring my gun into the house in Wyoming." She bit her lip and hid her face from them, and Aaron squeezed her hand encouragingly. "Sorry to be such a downer. I, I should probably by going now." She stood and Aaron joined her.
"Me, too. I'll see you Monday, guys."
Together, they walked out the door and then Erin caught her heel in a crack. She pitched forward and he easily caught her. Aaron heard the sob catch in her throat and he pulled her tightly to his chest. She nestled her head into the hollow of his shoulder and he rubbed her back. "Could we go somewhere and talk?"
"Of course, I would like nothing more than that. There's an all-night café about four miles from here called Jumpin' Java Jones. If you want to follow me, I'll lead you there."
"Okay." Her voice was so soft in his ear and he stepped back to look at her. She was staring at a spot on his jacket, fussing at the lapels with her fingers. "Before we leave, I just need a minute. I feel like I'm going to shatter." Aaron nodded and she stepped close to him once more, resting her head against his heart and sighing.
"Anytime you need someone to lean on, we're here for you. I'm here for you/" She nodded and moved away from him once more.
"I know. Thank you." She opened her car door. "I'm ready."
He got into his car and started down the road, checking to make sure she was following him. He pulled into a parking spot and Erin pulled into the one next to him. Together, they walked in and he let her lead them to the back. "What would you like?"
"If they can make it, I'd like a Turkish coffee."
"I'll see what they can do." He went up and ordered two Turkish coffees and the barista smiled at him. "We haven't had anyone order those in a while. It'll take about five minutes or so," she said as he paid.
"They'll be around in about five to seven minutes with our drinks. What did you want to talk about?" he asked as he sat across from her.
"How did you deal with Haley's death?"
"By putting one foot in front of the other. I was numb for many months, focusing on Jack and making sure he healed. When I looked up, the dark night of my soul had turned, becoming dawn when I wasn't looking. It's become a dull ache now, but even that is fading lately." In his head, he added a silent with you.
"Thanks," Erin said as the barista put two cups down in front of them.
"So, what's Deerskin about?" he asked, wondering why the book was so important to her.
She stiffened slightly, staring into her cup. "It's based off an old French fairy tale about a girl who is the most beautiful person in the world and her father, trying to honor the promise extracted from him by her mother, rapes her to break her will and get her to marry him. In the end, she triumphs over everything she's been through and finds someone who loves her enough to be patient with her as she heals." She raised the glass to her lips and took a long sip.
"That sounds so bleak. And yet you say it's helped you?"
"In more ways than you could ever know, Aaron." He looked at her in concern. "Did you have nightmares after she'd died?" she asked, turning the conversation back on him. He knew she had closed down that line of questioning as if she had revealed too much in that moment. He nodded then, deciding to follow her leading.