A Different Fate

by Musal

What if Train didn't know Creed killed Saya? What if he believed it was Chronos? What if Train helped Creed create the Apostles to get revenge on Chronos? What happens when Train learns the truth? CxT

26. Clearing Thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own Black Cat or its characters:

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Charden watched as the sun rose, sipping a mug of coffee gingerly as he gazed out the window to his room. His shirt was open and he wore loose, black pants that hung low on his hips. He had just woken up, so his long, blonde hair was still a bit of a mess, cascading down his nimble shoulders since he had yet to place his tall hat on top of his head to control his luscious, golden tresses. His meditative eyes were able to get the full view of the rising sun, his glasses still resting on the nightstand next to his and his partner's bed.

Behind him, Echidna still slept, the actress's elegant face smiling peacefully as she rested on their plush bed. They had been sharing the same room for several months now, finally having consummated their relationship in a heated night of passion he would never forget. They repeated their consummation on several occasions, which had been to both of their pleasure since it had been a long time coming.

Similar to when Train and Creed lead the Apostles, except we haven't lost focus.

While his relationship with Echidna had progressed, it did not halt their progress towards taking Chronos down. Even if they hadn't made a move yet, they were anything but still. They had recruited many new members, both Tao users and Shooting Stars, and even accomplished the arduous task of getting the media on their side. Although, Charden knew that was due to the presence of his lover. If it wasn't for her, they may have still been hidden in the dark.

Losing the Black Cat was a low blow on some fronts, but we've been able to recover quite well. While these new members might not be as strong as Heartnet's fans, they have still proven themselves worthy and more than earned their place.

It also took a while for their numbers to recover, which is also why they had been laying low for so long. They were not prepared for their encounter with Chronos over half a year ago and Charden knew it. Fighting them was purely coincidental on their part, but Sephiria and her numbers were ready and had actually sought them out that day. The Apostles were only there to find the Black Cat, which they did, but with the caveat of unexpectedly fighting Chronos.

That was a mistake, but necessary nonetheless. Now, Chronos will think they have our abilities and manpower pegged. They'll be in for quite a surprise when they realize how much we've grown in force.

Not only had they gained new members, but Doctor had been very productive in his use of nanomachines. They had a large amount of nano based weapons and had created contact with multiple sources outside of the Apostles that continued bringing them more arsenal and members. Allie Hue had been a huge help as well, however the levels of illegal activities she had gotten involved in since helping them out had increased to the point where she now needed to stay with them in order to hide from the countless sweepers who were after her. She spent most of her time in the Doctor's lab with him, seeing as they shared an interest in demented experimentation.

I was shocked to find out she wasn't just the leader of multiple gangs. She's also a scientist and quite intelligent. She and Doctor actually make quite the team. Maybe she can get him to focus on something other than the Black Cat.

Kanzaki was too preoccupied with tracking down the Black Cat and it was beginning to wear on his nerves. Charden agreed finding his ex-leaders was important, since he was sure they were going to come after them at some point, but the scientist was taking it to an extreme level. His obsession with Train was almost as bad as Creed's, but more sickening. Creed's fascination for the cat stemmed from his complete infatuation with the gunman whereas Doctor's came from wanting to know what made the Black Cat tick and how he could harness that power.

I know that knowledge of the Black Cat could be helpful, but Doctor is starting to go overboard. If I hear him request one more time to hunt Hearnet, I'm going to cut off his nanomachine supplies.

He knew that wasn't true. Cutting the man off from one of the things that made them stronger would only hurt their cause and with both Creed and Train gone, they needed all the extra strength they could get. Back when they first started the group, Charden was against using the nanomachines, but now he knew they were going to be a huge help in defeating Chronos.

Currently, Doctor was using Creed's DNA in a similar fashion to the way he used Train's on Aja and he also explained how he was going to try to create something with a combination of Creed and Train's DNA which made Charden hopeful. As uncomfortable as the scientist's experiments made him, he knew they were going to serve an important part in their success. Aja was proof enough of that. The only thing that bothered him with that was it caused the Doctor to be more intent on getting Heartnet back.

He insists that if he has Train, he can get more of his DNA and make the experiment easier. He got a good dose of blood from Creed, but is already running out of anything for the Black Cat. I understand his urgency, but he needs to realize we can't just go after Train without a plan. There's no telling how much stronger he's gotten.

Despite all that, Charden knew they were going to try sooner rather than later, but he wanted to wait a little longer while their newest members continued training. He also wanted Doctor to concentrate more on their newest experiments. Hue had gotten them a small army of willing participants to experiment on by using nanomachines and his former leader's DNA. While this also made Charden uneasy, Doctor and Allie both assured him they all wanted to be a part of this.

But… Did they have to be so young? They are all around the same age as Kyoko which I don't like. I guess Kyoko made the choice on her own as these kids are, however it concerns me.

Allie tried to provide him comfort by telling them they were all orphaned and homeless and very much eager to do whatever they wanted. She explained to the blood Taoist that without them, they would be starving on the streets. At least with them, they were well taken care of and knew they were always going to have a roof over their head. They were providing more to them than any other adult ever had or ever would. If it wasn't for them, the best they could hope for was to grow out of a broken orphanage system.

I guess they're right about that. As long as they're willing and able, this seems better than the alternative. They also each have their own room here. We had to upgrade the hideout for them, but I believe it's worth it in the long run.

They had been at their newest location for a while, but they did have to increase the size of their new home quite a bit to accommodate their growing numbers. However, it was still nowhere near as big as the mansion Creed had picked out for Train. Charden knew their castles were not for the Apostles comfort since everything the swordsman did was for the cat.

And that includes this group. They may be my enemies now, but I do have them to thank for this organization.

He turned from the window and looked back at the sleeping woman, smiling tranquilly as he approached the bed of the sleeping woman. Echidna was facing him, her lips frozen in a small smile as the sun's rays caressed her pale skin. She usually woke up before him, but today Charden wanted to get as early a head start as possible since he needed to talk to Doctor and Allie. Neither of them barely slept which made it difficult to wake up early enough to get a hold of the man before he started his strange experiments.

And as much as I'd like to stay and greet this beautiful woman with a cup of coffee, I need to get going. Doctor is probably already waiting.

Charden watched her sleep for a bit longer, his heart filling with a pleasant warmth as the sleeping actress pressed her head a bit further into the pillow. He reached out and caressed her cheek, then ran his fingers through her green hair, smiling as his lover sighed peacefully at the touch. He allowed his fingers to linger a bit on her chin, giving himself a few more seconds to etch her beauty into his mind before he knew he had to leave to meet with his scientist.

I guess I also have the Black Cat and Creed to thank for her as well. If Creed had never found her and inadvertently wooed her, she never would be with me now.

The irony that the woman who once loved Creed now loved him was not lost on him. However, that was so long ago now it was like a distant dream. It was strange to think of how infatuated she used to be with the silver man, but it didn't bother Charden in the least. After all, if it wasn't for Creed and his rejection of the actress, Charden would have never had a chance to be with her as either a partner or a lover.

He pulled the blankets over her bare shoulder a bit more, tucking her in slightly as he stepped away to dress himself. Charden finished the rest of his coffee quickly, changed his clothes, slipping on his hat and glasses then left. He glanced at the woman one more time before closing the door quietly, just to make sure she was still sleeping. Once he left their room, he walked down the hall and towards the stairs that led to the basement he was sure Allie and Doctor would be in.

As he approached the door, Charden could hear them speaking behind it, signalling he was correct in thinking they would already be awake. He knocked on the door lightly, then walked in, not bothering to wait for them to permit him entrance. Chances were neither of the scientists would hear him anyway, since they were usually too ingrained in whatever they were doing to notice anyone that was attempting to enter.

When he stepped in, Allie and Doctor looked up at him, the two of them bent over a pile of papers that were scattered messily on a table. Allie nodded at him, then looked back down while Doctor locked eyes with the blonde man, already having a question ready for his leader.

"Is today the day we can retrieve the Black Cat and Creed?"

Charden sighed in frustration, then rubbed his eyes as he spoke. "Good morning to you too, Doctor. Might I also add that it's too early to start this conversation again?"

Kanzaki only doubled down on his request. "Need I remind you that Creed's birthday is tomorrow? It also happens to be Christmas. That sweeper group acts like a family. It's the perfect time to catch them off guard and take Train. They won't be expecting it."

Allie gave the Doctor a sour look, then glanced at Charden apologetically. "I already explained to him we can't make a plan to kidnap the Black Cat on such short notice, but he won't hear it."

Doctor glared at her, as if she had betrayed him. "And you won't listen to reason. I'm telling you, this is the perfect chance to attack." He looked back at Charden. "And need I remind you that I'm running out of Heartnet's DNA? If you want me to continue my experiment, then I need more from the Black Cat. Not to mention Aja is getting restless. Just like the Black Cat, she can't be kept in one place for long."

Charden ignored what the man said and looked over at the curtain he knew held one of the children Doctor had inserted nanomachines into and frowned. "Have the nanomachines not proven to be enough?"

"Yes, they have." Allie said firmly, returning Doctor's glare even though he wasn't looking at her. "The nanomachines have taken very well to each of the children we've injected them into."

Doctor clenched his fists and shot another irritated look at her. "Yes, but we haven't been able to take the next steps I want to take with them. For that, I need Heartnet."

Allie couldn't hide the annoyance in her voice. "You sure that's all you need him for?"

Kanzaki glared at her as he spoke. "No. We also need to test the effects of the Chronos drug, remember? We agreed Train is the only one who can truly put an end to Creed, and Creed is the only one who can kill the Black Cat." He turned back to his leader and changed his disposition to one of more respect. "Charden-sama… I promise if you let me go after them, you won't be disappointed."

Charden looked at him, then at Allie was clearly getting more frustrated with the conversation. "Do you even know where he is?"

Doctor smirked. "Yes. Aja made a connection very recently, which is making her all the more eager to leave. I can't keep her here for much longer. She might even try to break out much like Train did."

Allie rolled her eyes at him. "Then you need to control her."

Doctor narrowed his eyes at her. "Like how we've tried to control the Black Cat? It's not possible. While I do have command over her, she is still a free spirit. We can't keep her here forever. Her DNA is begging to find the other half of herself."

The Blood Taoist couldn't help but feel intrigued by this development, but was still unconvinced. "While I agree that it is great to know where they are, I am inclined to agree with Ms. Hue. We can't just make a plan so last minute. We have no idea how much they've improved in all these months and I don't want to underestimate the Black Cat."

Allie breathed a sigh of relief and the Doctor gave him an angry look. Kanzaki turned around and walked towards the back of the room, making a strange sound which made Aja suddenly appear. Charden didn't know where she came from, then again he never knew. She seemed to show up out of nowhere, then disappear in the darkness as quickly as she had appeared. What mostly concerned him about the panther was he did know if that meant Train could do the same thing.

I'm aware Heartnet can flash away with lightning, however, if he is able to appear and reappear through just a shadow, we're in trouble.

Not only that, Aja seemed to have gained the ability to control her size. That was something he was pretty sure was due to the nanomachines, but Charden still wanted to ask.

"Doctor… Before we continue with what I originally came here for, I have a few questions about Aja."

Doctor looked at him from the corner of his eye, but continued his pets on the creature. "You're wondering how closely aligned her powers are to the Black Cat's?" When he saw Charden nod his head, he continued. "We both know Train is capable of hiding in even the most dire situations, but he isn't magic. He can't just suddenly appear out of a shadow, even if it seems like he can sometimes."

Charden nodded. "So, that's another quirk Aja has that's due to the nanomachines?"

"Correct." Petting the beast seemed to calm Kanzaki back down, as if she were his therapy pet. "I'm also pretty sure the Black Cat can't change his size. That's also due to the nanomachines."

Charden cocked an eyebrow. "How big or small can she make herself?"

Doctor smiled proudly. "She can bring herself down to the size of a regular house cat or as big as this room. The size she is at right now is sort of her default size." Aja purred loudly as he scratched under her chin. "I also do not think Heartnet can flash into buildings. From what I saw, he can only use that ability when he's outdoors. While he is able to still electricitify himself when inside, his battle with Creed over seven months ago showed evidence that he can't summon lightning while indoors. Aja, on the other hand, can."

Charden gave him a curious look. "And why is that?"

Doctor shrugged. "Possibly the nanomachines, I don't know. I would know more about all these uncertainties if you just let me bring him back here."

"Stop ringing that bell, Kanzaki. It's not going to happen any time soon." Allie spoke with an annoyed tone as she leaned over the table with their documents on them. "Can we get back to the matter at hand? Charden-sama, I'm pretty sure you didn't come here to talk solely about the Black Cat?"

Charden shook his head. "No. I came here for several reasons, but one of those is to update you on your lackeys." He waited until the woman's full attention was on him before he continued. "More of them have been caught by Train and Creed's sweeper group and handed over to the authorities."

Allie seemed displeased, but not surprised. "Have they said anything?"

"That, I do not know, but you've left them mostly in the dark, haven't you?" The woman nodded her head and he continued. "As long as they don't know who you have been supplying this massive arsenal to, then we should be fine. However, I'm more concerned with Chronos learning more about us. They've had Number X following them for quite some time now…"

"...And he appears to be quite friendly with the Black Cat." Doctor added, but did not look at either Allie or Charden as he spoke. Instead, he continued giving affection to his pride and joy beast. "I wonder how Creed is handling that?"

Charden sighed. "I would gather not well, but considering he's still with Train and his group, his feelings have not changed."

Before Creed was finally able to successfully bed the Black Cat, Charden knew he was just happy to have Train by his side. He had a feeling that's what the relationship had gone back to, considering Train would probably never want anything romantic to do with him again.

But, the fact that he seems to be so intimately involved with a Chronos number makes everything more complicated. Sephiria is an intelligent woman. She's probably learned that if Number X sticks around those sweepers, he'll be able to keep an eye on Creed in case he ever decides to come back and learn more information about us.

That was another reason they hadn't made a move yet. If they did, chances were Chronos would be very close behind and they'd have to deal with the Black Cat sweeper group along with Sephiria and her numbers. It was true the Apostles were stronger now, but they were still gathering new members and training new Taoists. Charden wanted to make sure they were absolutely prepared before they made any sudden moves.

"What else have you come here for, Charden-sama?" Doctor still sounded annoyed as he addressed his leader, but tried to hide it as best he could.

Charden nodded and continued with his other reasonings for coming. "How is it going with CDIB3?"

Kanzaki smirked and stepped away from Aja, much to the creature's displeasure. He stepped over to a large, glass tube filled with a yellowish liquid that held a rather large looking wolf. It was smaller than Aja, but still bigger than an average wolf. Doctor caressed the glass elegantly, his demented smile never leaving his lips.

"Aztec is nearly ready. Just a few more days until he can be taken for a test run."

Charden blinked at the name. "You've named him already?"

Doctor gave him an offended look. "Of course I have! Why wouldn't I?"

Allie rolled her eyes and walked over to Aja who seemed to be jealous of her master paying attention to another creature. "We believe Aja and Aztec will actually share a connection due to the DNA infused in them. We don't know if they will be friendly yet, considering how the Black Cat feelings towards Diskenth have changed, but we are hopeful they will become very close."

Charden looked away from Doctor and towards her. "Why do you think that?"

"Because, despite whatever may have happened between them, it's clear they share a certain bond. Ms. Hue and I believe that connection will transcend species and carry over through Aja and Aztec. However, we won't be sure until Aztec wakes up." Doctor turned around to look at his leader, just to make sure he understood.

Charden nodded to signal he knew what they meant, then eyed the creature floating serenely behind him. "Have there been any signs of their attachment since creating Aztec?" He knew if he didn't refer to the creature by name, the scientist would get offended.

Doctor smiled widely. "Yes. Aja is certainly interested in Aztec. She spends a lot of her time pacing or resting in front of him and whenever she's near, Aztec shows more signs of life. We're hopeful they will make as good a team as Train and Creed did."

Charden seemed pleased with this, but still wanted to know a bit more. "And will Aztec have the same abilities as Creed?"

Doctor nodded again. "Yes and once we infuse him with nanomachines his abilities will escalate most likely in the same way Aja's have." He turned back to the wolf and rested his hand on the glass. "It will be a great day when he's finally ready…"

"And that will be the day we can go after the Black Cat." Charden said as he walked towards the curtain he knew had a bed with one of the children on it.

Doctor was still not pleased with his statement and turned towards Charden, stopping him with his voice before he pushed aside the curtains to address his other experiment. "If you would just let me take the Black Cat sooner, we would have results for everything else faster."

Charden gave him a stern look, silently signalling him to watch his tone. He knew his glare did not have nearly the same effect as Creed or Train's did, but it was enough to make the Doctor shut up. Unlike his former leaders, Charden was able to control his group with respect instead of fear and he believed it actually worked better. The Apostles acted as if they wanted to listen to him instead of feeling as though they had to for fear of repercussions.

Doctor held back a growl and stepped away from the wolf and over to the curtain. He pulled it back quickly, revealing a sleeping teen who wore a medical robe. He slept on a soft bed and had thick blankets wrapped around him, a glass of water next to his bed and a soft pillow rested under his head. He was set up very nicely, which Charden knew was due to his persistence that they be treated like humans. Just because they volunteered to be experimented on did not mean he was going to treat them like subjects.

And I know if I didn't say something and constantly checked on them, Doctor would not act humanly to them.

Charden knew his boy's name was Jax since he made an effort to learn every childs' name. This boy especially since he seemed to admire him as a father or a big brother. He reached out and pressed the back of his hand against the child's forehead. He frowned when he noticed a fever, but knew that was most likely due to the experiments being performed on him. So far, every child he came to check on had reacted the same way which was the only thing that made him feel better about the situation. He moved his hand from the child's forehead to his wrist, checking his pulse to make sure it was steady.

"He's fine, Charden-sama. He isn't reacting any differently than any of the other children have reacted." Doctor said as he stepped next to his leader.

Charden pulled his hand away, but kept his eyes on the boy. "What have you given him?"

Doctor stepped to the other side of the bed, pulling out the charts that rested next to him to check and make sure he remembered what the boy was going through. "He's been given a small dose of nanomachines like the others have along with a bit of Creed's DNA. He requested the Tao as well, but I was concerned that would be too much at once."

Charden eyed the Doctor uneasily. "You're certain he wants the Tao? He isn't just saying that for some caveat that he would receive something in return for taking it?"

There was a child Doctor insisted volunteered to take the drug, but it turned out Kanzaki promised her something in return for taking the drug, which tainted the girl's opinion on taking it. This uncertainty resulted in her death and Charden made sure to let Doctor know that was unacceptable and to never do it again.

It's bad enough he can't keep the kids straight in his head. I can't believe how often he gets them confused. There's only been six so far, so you'd think any decent person would be able to remember who they were and what they were going through.

However, Charden knew Doctor was not a decent person. The only reason the Blood Taoist kept him around was his usefulness of weapons. He still wasn't happy with this situation they had created with these children, but so far, with the exception of that one girl, they had been safe and each one of them had been more than eager to go through with everything.

But… They're still kids. They may not fully understand what they're consenting to…

Doctor saw his leader's look grow concerned and rolled his eyes. While he respected his new leader, it was times like this he actually missed Creed since he knew the swordsman would be much less sensitive towards other people's dilemmas. Creed was more about the end goal and cared less about how they got there. The only thing that kept him from slipping too far off the edge was Train, since the Black Cat actually had a moral code whereas Creed would do anything to achieve his or his beloved's goals.

Even if that goal was only to let Train have his revenge. I just wish Charden would get over that bit of humanity in him and realize you need to break a few eggs to make an omelette.

Doctor did not answer his question and instead reached into the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a tape recorder. He hit play and looked at Charden as the voice of the boy spoke through the small device.

"Are you certain this is what you want?" Doctor said coolly as he spoke to the boy.

The teen nodded. "Yes. I'm sick of being weak. I've seen what the Tao can do for someone. I want that power. I want to be strong."

Doctor nodded. "And you are aware this could kill you?"

"Yes, but death is better than a life of having no say in my own freedom. I want to help take Chronos down. I want to help Charden."

Doctor nodded. "Okay, but we cannot do it now. We will give you the drink if you make it through this."

The recording stopped and Charden sighed as he looked at the boy. He knew this teen pretty well since he looked up to him. He was endlessly grateful for Charden taking him off the streets and giving him a place to stay and would do anything to make his hero happy. He remembered when Jax first saw his ability and was in awe of his powers.

Considering who this boy is and what I know about him, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

Charden smirked. "Very well then. I think he'll make a fine Taoist."

Doctor nodded and put the recording away. "He is willing to go beyond that. He went on to tell me he'll do anything to make sure it helps you and the Apostles' cause. He's a very loyal young man."

Charden looked at Kanzaki, then glanced at Allie who had stepped in when the recording started to play and nodded to confirm what the scientist had said. The Apostle leader glanced at Jax, then turned to leave the bedside.

"I don't think that will be necessary, but it's a good thing to keep in mind. Please keep me updated on him and please make sure he is comfortable." While he made sure to get to know every child that was brought it, he did have a special attachment to this one. It's hard not to care about a kid that sees you as a role model and he didn't want any harm to come to the boy.

Doctor followed after Charden, closing the curtain behind him after Allie had stepped out and went back over to the table with their documents on it. The papers held results of each of the children's experiments, which is what his and Allie's plans were going to be for this morning. Charden stopped in front of the table, watching his scientist read as he tried to think of anything other business he might have with them. Feeling as though his time here was done, the Blood Taoist turned towards the door and left.

"Thank you for the update. It seems as though everything is going smoothly here, so I will take my leave and continue training the rest of the new Taoist. Shiki is probably already awake, getting them warmed up. I don't want to miss watching their progress." Neither Allie nor Kanzaki responded, so he turned around to make sure Doctor heard his next words. "Concentrate on Jax and Aztec. We do not need any more distractions. Understood?"

Doctor looked up at him quickly, then back down towards his papers. "Understood…"

With that confirmation, Charden left the room in search of the rest of his group. Doctor grumbled a little under his breath when the door shut, earning a curious look from the woman standing next to him.

"Are you going to listen to him?" She asked, her voice stern, yet worried as she spoke. She hadn't known the man long, but she knew that look in his eyes all too well.

Doctor did not look at her as he spoke. "Yes. I have no choice."

His tone of voice left her unconvinced and she was about to protest again when the man walked away and back towards Aja and Aztec. The panther was laying in front of the wolf, her head rested against the glass as if she were protecting the canine creature. She looked peaceful, but Doctor knew she was getting restless as well. Similar to the Black Cat, she hated staying put for too long and now that she had been able to find Train, he knew she was getting more anxious to hunt him.

"Do not keep questioning me, Allie. Need I remind you I am the only one of us who also has the power of the Tao?" He heard the woman sigh shakily, then obviously bury herself back in the papers scattered on the table.

Doctor smirked as he leaned down and pet Aja's head, enjoying the stretch and quiet pur she let out.

"Don't worry, my beauty. We will find your other half soon. It's been far too long since you've felt his presence, but we cannot stay still when you've finally felt his presence again."

And Charden doesn't need to know about this. It will be our little secret. At least until the Black Cat is back and I can prove to him I was right.

He pet the panther's head gently, already forming a plan for the next day's events.

---

"Sergey! Stop being distracted by Creed! You keep missing your cue!"

Creed blinked out of the trance he had put himself under while he was practicing with his mini orchestra and looked over at the Russian man who seemed to be far too fascinated with his piano playing. Sergey was staring at him, but jumped and looked at their teacher when she gave him that severe scolding.

The tall man frowned at her. "Maybe next time don't find such a bewitching piano student. His playing is almost as beautiful as he is."

Standing next to him was another clarinetist who was several feet shorter than him and looking rather embarrassed for his first chair senior. The man was a bit younger than Creed, putting him in about his early twenties while Sergey was almost thirty. He didn't talk much, but Creed had a feeling that was probably due to the fact that Sergey talked a lot. The other man probably couldn't get a word in edgewise.

Creed heard a giggle and looked over at the small string section to see Dae laughing quietly. Her section was the largest, but still rather small. There were now three violins instead of just her, three violas, two cellos and one upright bass. She was the head of her section just like Sergey was first chair in his small section, but Dae seemed to be much more liked by her fellow string players. Sergey's second chair partner seemed to be quite annoyed by his constant talking and flirtatious manner with Creed

He strikes me as the type that just wants to work and keep any nonsense to a minimum whereas Sergey seems to find excuses to fool around. Especially with me.

He had to admit, it was flattering to have such a good looking man so interested in him and his mischievous attitude reminded him of Train, but that also made it harder for Creed to handle Sergey's advances rationally. Whenever the Russian man would come on to him, Creed would snap at him and sometimes even shut down completely. He tried to be more forgiving of the man's amorous behavior, but all it did was remind him of what he used to have with Train and his heart would break all over again.

I can't even flirt with someone else anymore. Not even in a platonic way. It just makes me think of my Kitten and I fall apart all over again.

Francisco sighed and placed his bassoon on his lap. "Can we make music?"

Creed looked over at the man, seeing the large woman standing next to him with another bassoon, rolling her eyes at the banter between Anastasia and Sergey. Francisco spoke a little bit of English, but for the most part Creed and his teacher addressed him in Spanish. Based on his broken sentence, it was clear he wasn't aware it wasn't spoken properly.

Anastasia smiled at him. "Suponiendo que Sergey pueda concentrarse, sí." (1)

Sergey sighed sadly and lowered his head, the arm holding his clarinet resting dejectedly at his side. "We've been practicing every day for two weeks straight and I've barely gotten any alone time with our dapper piano player. Don't we at least deserve a break so I can have another chance to woo the man?"

Anastasia gave Aimee a look who nodded then smacked the clarinetist standing next to her. She kept one hand on her French Horn that was resting on her lap, the player next to her laughing merrily at the Russian man as he yelped and rubbed his arm. He glared down at the small girl, then at Anastasia since he knew the hit actually came from her.

"At least I'm being honest! Come on, don't we deserve five minutes of peace before we run through it again?" Sergey pouted at the woman, ignoring the second smack Aimee gave him.

Anastasia shook her head. "No. Even though you've been practicing with Creed for two weeks, we only just got the rest of the orchestra a few days ago. This is the finale piece so we need to make sure it's perfect."

Sergey gave Creed another wanton look. "S Kridom za royalem ya ne ozhidal nichego, krome sovershenstva." (2)

Aimee smacked him again and Creed smirked at her. He had learned that Anastasia had taught the girl all the languages she knew, which included Russian. When she hit the older man, Creed knew it was because she understood what he said and knew her adopted mother would want her to smack him again. Anastasia smiled at her daughter, then glared at Sergey again.

"We only need to go through it one more time. Beginning to end. Our soloist's ride will be here soon and the recital is tomorrow." Anastasia picked up her flute, ready to begin again, but was interrupted once more.

"Don't forget it's Creed's birthday! Imagine having a Christmas birthday!" Dae sounded very excited as she spoke, as if it were her birthday tomorrow.

Sergey gasped loudly and nearly dropped his clarinet. "WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS?!"

Creed looked at him from the corner of his eye. "Probably because I specifically didn't tell you…"

Sergey clasped his heart at Creed's words, as if they had physically wounded him. "Pochemu ty dolzhen obidet' menya svoimi slovami, lyubov' moya?" (3)

Creed rolled his eyes and turned back to the piano. "My oba znayem, chto tebe ne tak bol'no, kak kazhetsya." (4)

The tall man gave him another promiscuous look as he smiled. "One day my drama will pay off with you."

"Not as long as my Beloved exists. Just give up now before you make this worse than it needs to be. YA znayu, naskol'ko uzhasnoy mozhet byt' dushevnaya bol'..." (5)

The blonde man heard the pain in Creed's voice and decided to stop his flirting. He may not have known him for very long, but he learned rather quickly to push pause on his advances whenever the piano player started to talk like that.

"When do we get to meet this love of yours?" Dae asked, ignoring her teacher as she tried to get their attention once more.

Creed gave the woman a small smile. "He's the one picking me up today…"

The woman saw the slight blush on his face and beam brightly at him. "Can't wait to meet him!"

"YA tozhe…" Sergey's voice was quiet as he spoke, but Creed could hear the bitterness of his words.

Before he could say anything more, Anastasia stomped her cane on the floor loudly, creating an abstruse boom to echo across the stage. Even with as small and sickly as she was, it was enough to get all the musicians' attention back on her.

"That's enough with the flirting. We're here to practice, not talk about love. As I said before, the show is tomorrow and we've only had a few rehearsals with the full orchestra." Her voice was stern and slow, making sure they heard the seriousness behind her words.

Creed smiled at the woman, but did not speak. Words could not portray how grateful he was towards her for setting this all up for him. They had a small string section and two of every instrument except for the flute since they only needed one and Anastasia's playing was more than enough for that.

To think in two weeks she not only was able to find enough people to perform with me, but also helped me make new friends. They may drive me crazy sometimes, especially Sergey, but they definitely accept and care about me.

Anastasia saw his smile and nodded in return. "From the top, Creed."

He nodded at his teacher and began playing, losing himself in the music he created with his new friends and forgetting the world around him. He focused all the hurt he felt into the piano. Lately, he had been able to use not only the pain he felt at losing Train, but also the trauma his mother and the rest of the world had put him through. While nothing would ever be able to compare to the agony of hurting and chasing away his Kitten, he was aware it was something he needed to work through and music helped.

As he played, he was unaware that the focal point of his pain had walked through the door and managed to find his way to the recital hall. It wasn't hard, Train just needed to follow the music. Even he was surprised with himself for being early, but he worked extra hard to make sure that was the case. He was hoping if he got there quickly, he might be able to finally meet Creed's teacher and new friends. Of course he was aware he would be meeting them tomorrow, but Train was exactly a patient man.

What he was not expecting when he walked in the room was to be greeted by the saddest yet most beautiful music he had ever heard. As soon as he walked through the doors, he froze and stared at the musicians on stage. He felt his heart break for the performers since he could tell the pain they put behind their music was real. His focus immediately went to Creed, whose eyes were shut and watched as a tear rolled down his cheek. Even with his untrained ears, Train could tell the piece was almost over and regretted not getting there sooner. He felt himself wanting to cry with his former partner, but didn't have the chance as the music slowly came to an end.

Train watched as an old woman he knew must have been Anastasia patted Creed's shoulder tenderly, enjoying seeing the silver man smile sincerely at her. As the rest of the musicians on stage stood in silence, as if basking in the depressed remains of their sorrowful music, the cat started clapping loudly from his spot at the entrance of the recital hall, not caring if it was awkward for him to applaud a rehearsal or not.

As soon as Creed saw his beloved standing there, clapping noisily as he beamed enthusiastically at him, he felt his face go a bright shade of red and he stood from the piano bench quickly, knocking it over in his haste.

"T-Train! You weren't supposed to hear us yet!"

Train laughed merrily at his friend's distressed voice. Creed was acting like he was the bride at a wedding that the groom had seen before they exchanged vows.

And actually, that may not be far from what he's thinking.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, I didn't hear the whole thing. Just the end of it." Train walked down the aisle as he spoke, hands behind his head as he smirked deviously at his ex-partner.

Sergey's face was showing mixed emotions as he watched the cat approach the stage, his eyes widening a little when he watched the golden eyed man jumping onto the stage with ease, totally ignoring the stairs that led up. Aimee and Francisco had already started packing up, along with the extra musicians, but Sergey, Anastasia, and Dae remained where they were.

Creed frowned at his Kitten, resisting the urge to take Train in his arms and sing words of complete devotion for the Black Cat. "Still… I wanted you to be surprised…"

Train rolled his eyes. "I've heard you practicing in your room. I know what it sounds like."

Creed continued pouting at his cat. "But you haven't heard it with an orchestra!"

Train smiled at him warmly, approaching his friend as he messed with his hair playfully. "No offense to anyone else, but I'm going to the show to hear you, not them."

The silver man swooned adoringly at his love, nodding foolishly as a delighted smile graced his pale lips. He had to force his arms to stay at their sides the moment he felt his beloved touch him. "Thank you, Train…"

He didn't want to thank Train. He wanted to scream how much he loved him and how his music was for him, but he didn't. Instead, Creed contented himself on gazing endearingly at his beloved, his eyes pleading with his cat to return his affections, even though he knew that wasn't possible.

But it's impossible for me not to give him this begging look when he speaks such kind words to me and offers me any form of physical attention.

Train was about to introduce himself to the woman he knew to be Creed's teacher when a tall, blonde man approached him from the side, still holding his clarinet. The cat's eyes widened when the man reached out and took hold of his chin, tilting his head up, then left and right as if he were inspecting him for damage. When Train made eye contact with him, the gunman felt his face drain of color at the look the Russian man was giving him.

"...I guess I see the appeal…" Sergey's voice was sour as he spoke

He glanced at Creed who had been acting as if he was witnessing his savior being reborn the moment Train walked in the room and frowned. As soon as Sergey took hold of Train, Creed changed his gaze from a loving look to an evil glare, as if he was daring the Russian man to keep his hands on his beloved. Sergey rolled his eyes and released Train, turning back to Creed to cup the silver man's cheek gently.

"Don't worry, prekrasnyy. Vy ukrali moye serdtse, a eto znachit, chto u drugogo vora net shansov." (7)

Train wasn't sure why, but he felt himself get a little annoyed at the man's statement and decided to respond before Creed had a chance to. "Vam nuzhna politsiya? YA by ne ozhidal, chto kogo-to stol' groznogo, kak ty, tak legko ukradut." (8)

Sergey's eyes widened and he looked from Creed to Train. "Okay, now I most certainly see the appeal." He smiled at the silver man and caressed his cheek gently. "But don't worry. I have no intention of stealing your love. YA tol'ko nablyudal za toboy." (9)

Creed blushed brightly and looked at Train, smiling slightly when he noticed the bit of white and blue dance jealousy in his Kitten's gorgeous, golden eyes. As much as he wanted to see if his beloved truly was envious, he didn't want the other man touching him anymore, so he decided to push Sergey's hands away.

"Train is not mine. He belongs to another." He did the best to hide his sadness, but he knew that was impossible.

As much as I wish he were still mine he isn't. I need to accept that if I'm going to have Train in my life at all.

Sergey sighed sadly at Creed then glanced at Train one more time before he walked away to pack up his clarinet. Train looked at the Russian man, then at Creed who was doing his best to make himself appear to be unbothered by his own statement as he smiled lovingly at Train.

"That's Sergey. Don't take him seriously. He means well." Creed bent down to pick up the bench that he knocked over, but kept his eyes on his beloved.

"But I don't want to mean well when it comes to you!" Sergey said from the back of the stage, winking lewdly at Creed.

Again, Train felt a bit of anger rise inside of him, but before he could investigate the emotions more or even address Creed and his piano teacher, someone else was approaching from his other side. Train turned when he felt a thin finger tap his shoulder, then looked down at a small Korean woman who was smiling kindly at him.

"Nice to meet you, Train! Creed has told us all about you. It's nice to finally meet you in person. My name is Dae." She offered the cat her hand, never breaking eye contact with him.

Train smiled nervously and took her hand. "Nice to meet you too…"

He told them all about me? I'm not surprised since he talks about me non-stop, but that means they all know that he loves me and I'm not sure how I feel about that…

It normally didn't bother him when people knew Creed loved him, but for some reason meeting strangers who knew about the silver man's feelings for him made him a bit uncomfortable. Especially after hearing Creed say he belonged to another. That meant they all knew Train did not return Creed's feelings and he had a different lover.

And if they know I'm with someone other than their friend, it might put a sour taste in their mouth for me. This woman seems nice enough, but Sergey seemed a bit put off by me and I really hope his teacher doesn't feel the same way.

Dae and Train heard someone clearing their throat which caused them both to end their handshake and turn towards the old woman. Anatasia was being helped up by a small, dark haired girl, the older woman smiling warmly at Train.

"Train Heartnet… We finally meet." Anatasia put a hand out for him to take as well, which Train took a bit too eagerly, hoping the woman wouldn't hate him for not being in love with her student.

"Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you! Creed's told me all about you. Thank you so much for helping him out. You have no idea how much your teaching has helped Creed. He-"

Anastasia put a hand up to make him stop talking, chuckling lightly as she held back a cough. "Stop your ramblings, I don't hate you. How can I hate someone that my pride student loves so much?"

Train glanced and Creed who was sitting back on the piano bench, looking away from the two of them as he blushed brightly. He was quietly playing scales, trying to make it seem like he wasn't paying attention to them when in fact it was all he could pay focus on. Train smiled at his friend unknowingly, then turned back to the old woman.

"I appreciate you saying that, but-"

"-No buts, I understand more than you realize."

Anastasia patted the young girl that held her up and signaled for her to go pack up. When Aimee walked away, the old woman reached out to Train, who took her arm quickly so she wouldn't fall. She smiled up at him and pointed towards the chairs in the audience.

"Let's talk."

Train nodded and led her down the stairs, looking back at Creed who seemed to be panicked at the idea of his beloved talking to his teacher alone. Anastasia felt this unease and turned around to glare at her student, making him turn back to the piano and continue to act as if he wasn't paying attention to them.

He was soon distracted as Sergey approached him once more, sitting a bit too close on the bench next to him which the silver man did not seem to appreciate. Aimee smacked the Russian man on the back of the head as Dae took a seat on the floor next to them, sparking a conversation with Creed to get his attention off Train and Anastasia. Even Francisco decided to try and help as he stood on the other side of the bench, doing his best to engage in their conversation in their common language. The rest of the orchestra had left the stage already, leaving through the fire exit with their instruments in tow.

Train smiled as he watched his ex-partner engage in friendly conversation with his new friends. It was nice seeing Creed act so normal around people other than him and their sweeper group and he knew that was due to the woman he was helping sit down towards the back of the hall. Train could tell she wanted some privacy with him, so she made sure to get them as far away from the rest of the group as possible.

Once Train was sure the woman was sitting comfortably, he took a seat next to her and waited for the old woman to start the conversation. He could tell just by the short interaction he had with her that she was a very take charge kind of person.

And I have a feeling she's going to be talking about some sensitive topics.

Anastasia saw the unease in Train's face and laughed lightly. "I didn't think the legendary Black Cat could so easily be discomforted."

Train blinked at her quickly, then looked to the stage at Creed in an accusatory manner. The woman laughed again, then coughed which brought the gunman's attention back to her.

"Oh, calm down. If you knew half of the people up there's past, you would know all of your secrets are safe with me. Who else is Creed going to talk to help him heal?"

Train frowned. "He knows he can talk to me about anything…"

She shook her head. "Can he? Or can you talk to him about anything?"

Train froze at her statement, then realized how selfish he had been in his dealings with Creed. Feeling guilty, he looked at Creed sadly as his silver friend gave Sergey an annoyed look and smiled at a joke Dae had made.

"I… Guess I haven't realized how little talking he's done about himself recently."

Anastasia sighed. "Yes, but then again, I can't say I blame you. Not after what he did to you." When Train turned to look at her, she smiled again. "It's hard to forgive someone who killed your best friend in a jealous rage. Even if they were once your assassin partner and lover."

Train winced at little at her words, understanding now Creed had told her everything about them. "Guess I shouldn't have expected less…"

"You're right, you shouldn't. And I think you should give him some grace for this situation. He's only talking to me about these things because he can't talk to you about them."

Train clenched his fists a little, a bit of his old rage boiling inside him. "Then he knows how it feels now…"

Anastasia watched as Train calmed himself down, understanding why he was so upset and knowing now why he refused to be with Creed again. "Is this the revenge you were seeking out?"

Train gave her a confused look, choosing to push aside his angry feelings for now. "What do you mean?"

Anastasia rolled her eyes. "I think you know what I mean. I think you're just thrown off by the bluntness of my question."

Train cocked an eyebrow, then sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "The revenge I want is for Creed to get better and realize what he did was wrong. And I don't just mean Saya."

The woman gave him a curious look. "And you still don't think he does?"

Train shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I'm not him. He trapped me in a corner a while back by saying there isn't anything he can do to ever truly convince me. Which makes me think being able to fully forgive him is on me."

Anastasia nodded. "I would agree with that, however, that can't be easy, can it?" Train's bitter sigh was the only response she needed. "I can't imagine what it's like finding out the only person you ever loved killed your best friend and then lied to you about it. That's a pain unlike any other."

Train laughed sourly as he rested his head in his hands. "Wait 'til you hear what happened to my parents."

"Oh, I already know. Creed has told me everything about you. To be honest, he talks about you so much I feel like I've known you for years." She laughed and stifled another cough, leaning back in her seat to relax her body as little.

Train watched as the woman struggled silently, then responded. "He always says I'm his favorite subject…"

She cackled again and this time couldn't hold back her cough which concerned Train, but she brushed his worried eyes aside. "Don't worry about me. And I would say 'favorite subject' is an understatement. I've never seen anyone so in love in all my life. And I've lived a long life and experienced true love myself."

When Train gave her a curious look, she smiled and watched as her students conversed on stage. "My wife died ten years ago. Heart attack. She was my everything and now she's gone. I didn't imagine I'd even make it this far in life without her."

Train frowned at her, his heart breaking for the woman as he reached out and squeezed her knee gently. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"And I'm sorry for yours." She glanced at Creed again as she addressed the cat. "And I know he is too…"

Train felt a bit of his rage return at her statement. "Then he should have never done it in the first place…" He heard the fury in his voice and was shocked how much adomosesty he had towards his ex-partner. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"Yes you did. Don't hide your true feelings." She paused and watched as Train lowered his head and clutched at his hair, his obvious conflict showing through his body language. "However… I think you feel more than just anger towards him."

Train felt his body go cold at her words, but did not change his choleric demeanor. "...He and I are done. We will never be together again."

Anastasia eyed him strangely. "Who are you trying to convince? Me, him, or yourself?"

Train didn't know how to respond to that, so he decided to try a different route to explain to the woman how he felt, even though he was pretty sure she understood how he felt more than he did. "How could I ever feel affection for the man who killed Saya? What kind of a person would that make me?"

"A normal one?" Anastasia shrugged her shoulders at Train's confused look. "The heart wants what it wants. You can't control his and you can't control your own."

Train rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "My heart does not want him again."

The woman sighed again as she kept her eyes on the stage at the man in question. "And I think that statement is partially true. I think you're conflicted. You fell in love with him before you found out what he did and after you learned the truth, you were betrayed on too many levels to count and believed everything you shared with him was a lie. Now, thinking about what you had hurts so deeply that you feel like you can never have it with him again. Because you don't think it'll be the same."

Train watched her wide eyed as she spoke, shocked at the accuracy of her statement. "It wouldn't be. I know it wouldn't be. Every time I start to feel happy around him again, I just remember what he did and everything comes rushing back to me. When that happens, I hate him all over again. The only way I feel like I can be around him is to not give into that happiness that seems like only he can bring out."

"Is that fair to you?" She turned her eyes to the stage, then back on Train. "Is it fair to deprive yourself of that happiness when you've done nothing wrong?"

Train took in a deep breath as he spoke. "Who says I've done nothing wrong? My pain is going to hurt a completely innocent person."

The woman smirked knowingly at him. "Are you talking about your new lover, Lin Shaolee?"

Train rolled his eyes. "Of course Creed told you about him too…" He slumped in his chair and looked at Creed with angry eyes, ignoring the part of him that was enjoying seeing his ex-lover speaking merrily with his musician friends.

"Yes, as we established before, he talks to me about everything because he can't talk to you."

Train looked at her from the corner of his eye. "He should know he can…"

She shook her head. "No, he can't. It's not fair of him to bring you his luggage after what he's put you through and I think you both know that."

The Black Cat sighed and nodded his head reluctantly. He knew what the woman was saying was true. Every time Creed tried to talk to him about his feelings, Train would snap. He was able to tolerate it a little longer now, but it still didn't take much for him to get angry at his friend for speaking whatever was in his heart.

"...Maybe I should go easier on him."

Train didn't realize he said those words out loud and Anatasia could tell. "If you're able to, that'd be splendid. Otherwise, don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. After all, as I said before you have done nothing wrong. In fact, you even took in the man that killed your best friend and helped him find peace. That's more than anyone else in your position would do." She tapped his shoulder kindly. "You're a good man, Train."

The Black Cat looked at her gratefully, but still did not feel better. "That's a hard compliment to accept when I'm continuously hurting two people I care a lot about…"

Anastasia knew he was talking about Lin and Creed so she did not need him to elaborate. "You can't help how other people feel about you. You can only control your actions."

Train looked at her dejectedly. "Which is why I feel terrible. I feel like I'm just leading Lin on and being with him only hurts Creed more." He ran his fingers through his hair again, watching as Creed scolded Sergey for trying to grope him. "If I end it, Creed will be happy, but Lin will be destroyed. If I stay with him, Creed will be hurt and Lin will be thrilled. I just can't win…"

The woman watched the tormented man and reached out to pat his back. "You need to do what's right for you. You need to stop worrying about other people and do what makes you happy. You need to start putting yourself first. Even if it hurts someone else along the way."

Train nodded his head in understanding, but asked a question nonetheless. "And what if I don't know what makes me happy?"

Anastasia smiled warmly at him. "I think you know what makes you happy. I just think you are unwilling to accept that given the circumstances with which that happiness comes with."

Train looked at her, then to Creed and felt his heart fill with warmth. It was soon replaced with agony and anger when he realized what she meant and shook his whole body to rid himself of all his emotions. He tried to think of Lin and how his new lover made him feel and sighed in defeat at the afflicted emotions he felt towards that man as well. However, with Lin it was more guilt at not loving him than anger for feeling any form of affection towards him. He most certainly cared about the number, more than he cared about most people, but that's what made everything harder.

I care about them both a lot, but it seems like no matter what I do I just keep hurting them.

He sighed again and looked up at the ceiling. "When will this nefarious rhythm end?"

Anastasia laughed quietly so as not to bring on another coughing fit. "When you finally start following the tempo and melody your heart is desperately trying to get you to listen to." She chuckled at his frustrated sigh and continued talking. "Right now, you are trying to force yourself to move on. That is what's hurting everyone. You can't force yourself to heal. That takes time."

"Yeah, but I don't have time. I'm hurting people now." Train pointed to the ground as he spoke.

"Because you're trying to move on too fast!" She smacked his hand when she spoke.

"Because I have to!" Train threw his arms up in the air.

"Hence the nefarious rhythm you're stuck in!" She couldn't help but be amused by the kindhearted man. He really didn't want to hurt anyone, which is why he was in a relationship with Lin and keeping Creed as a close friend. "You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want to end this heinous song of unrequited love, then you need to give yourself some space and listen to your heart."

Train did not respond to her statement since he was pretty sure what she meant by it. He knew she was right, but ending it with Lin would only make things harder for everyone. Number X still had a mission to accomplish with Creed and they were collecting enough information on the Apostles that Train was sure Sephiria wasn't going to be pulling him out anytime soon. Ending their relationship would only make things difficult with him and Creed.

"...I care about Lin and I don't want to lose Creed. Separating from either of them does not make me happy." As infuriating as the situation was, Train knew his description of his predicament was true.

Anastasia sighed deeply. "May all that has been reduced to noise in you become music again." She felt Train's eyes on her, but did not look at him as she spoke. "David Teems quote. Simply means I hope you figure out whatever the hell is going on in that messed up head of yours."

Train couldn't help but laugh at her statement, feeling a bit better after hearing her joke with him. "You don't need to tell me twice that my head is messed up." Once his laughter stopped, he frowned at the woman. "Why are you being so nice to me? What makes you want to be kind towards the person that is causing your star pupil so much pain?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe it's because his pain makes his music better and I'm a masochist. Maybe it's because I don't care how much pain someone is in as long as they play beautiful music. Or maybe it's because I care about Creed and he cares about you, so therefore I care about you." She smiled sympathetically at him. "Or maybe, it's because out of all the stories I heard, yours touches me the most. You may think you're the bad guy in all this because you are causing endless pain to two people you care deeply for, but I know you mean well. If anything, I feel worse for you than Creed or Lin combined."

Train tilted his head at her. "What?"

She nodded. "You witnessed your parents murdered at a young age, then got taken in by the man who killed them and turned into an assassin. Your mind was so warped with negative thoughts and outlooks on the world, you gave up your freedom and joined Chronos. Then, just when you meet a truly good person who was showing you what being free really was, a jealous stalker comes along and kills her, ending your freedom before it even began. To top it off, you fell in love with your best friend's killer, only to later learn the truth and feel betrayed beyond belief. Then, just when you're beginning to move on and make peace with him, another man comes along and confesses his undying love to you. Being the kind person you are, you panic and accept his devotion, even though you don't return his affections. All the while, you are still trying to make peace with a man who, in all honesty, deserves nothing but your hatred."

Train gawked at her, not sure what to say. She just laid out his entire life in front of him so blatantly and there wasn't a single untrue thing about her statement. It actually did make him feel a bit better to have his trauma all laid out before him. It allowed him to forgive himself a little bit.

She's right… I really don't have any reason to forgive Creed. Anyone else would have tossed him aside long ago. And yet… The idea of that hurts me. Not just because I want him around, but because I know how much that would hurt him. And I don't want to do that.

With Lin, he knew that outright rejecting his feelings would be mean. It wasn't like his rejection of Kyoko, she was just a teen with a crush that she would most likely get over on her own with maturity. Lin truly loved him and after knowing what it felt like to be in love and how much it hurt when it was over, Train didn't want to just flat out tell him no.

And that's not all it is. I care about him too. The time I've spent with him has been nice, so I can't deny I enjoy his company. It's just not the same as when I was with Creed. I know I don't love Lin, which is what makes this so hard.

"Now that I've confirmed you are indeed the kindhearted man I thought you were and I understand how much you truly care about Creed, I want to ask you a favor."

Train felt his heart stop and go cold as the old woman looked him straight in the eyes and made her ominous request. "Please take care of him when I'm gone."

Train opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure what to say, but apparently looking like a fish out of water was the best he could muster. Seeing how disoriented her request had made him, she continued.

"I may not have known him long, but I can tell we are kindred spirits. He cares for me like the mother he never had and I care for him like the son I lost." She saw the shocked look on Train's face and chuckled lightly. "Another story for another day… If that day is to come…"

The cat frowned at her wistful tone and decided to probe for more information. Creed always said he was pretty sure she was sick, but Anastasia refused to ever tell him with what. "If… You don't mind my asking, what makes you think there won't be another day we could talk?"

She snickered. "It's not me who thinks it, it's the doctors." She looked away from Train and to her students, smiling warmly as she saw her daughter slap Sergey again for trying to cop another feel on Creed. "Lung Cancer. But, I've never smoked a day in my life." She laughed a little, coughing as she did so. "Just my luck, right Ava?"

Train assumed the invisible woman she was speaking to was her late wife and decided not to put a spotlight on it. He didn't think she meant to say that last part out loud and he wasn't about to judge her for talking to a dead woman. He still did it almost daily.

"...Does anyone else know?" Train looked at Creed who looked about ready to slap Sergey himself.

Anastasia nodded. "Aimee does. But, Dae is already lined up to be her legal guardian when I die. It's fitting since she lost her children and Aimee already trusts her. I'm happy to know I'll be creating another family when I go."

Train sighed and kept his eyes on Creed. "Is this your way of asking me to be Creed's legal guardian?"

She laughed loudly and leaned forward a little, hoping none of her students would hear her and be reminded they were still having a conversation in the same room as them. "In a way, I guess. But, I think he's been your ward far longer than you care to admit."

Train laughed crossly. "Yeah…" He sighed and nodded his head. "You don't have to worry about Creed. I'll take care of him. If killing Saya wasn't enough for me to cut him loose, I don't think there's anything else that could."

He thought about what he would do if Creed ever killed Sven or Eve, but that thought had become a distant memory at this point. After Train, Creed cared about Eve more than anyone else in the group and he was beginning to get closer and closer to Sven every day. Train knew Creed held whatever friends he had close to his heart, since he never had any before and would remain loyal and protect them until the day he died.

There's no way he'd ever hurt either of them. He's taken too many unnecessary hits for them just to keep them safe.

"...Are you going to tell Creed?" Train asked, his eyes still on the stage as the musicians appeared to decide to play a different song together.

"No." Anastasia said flatly. "You know how emotional he can get. I don't want him to know anything and you can't tell him."

Train finally looked at her, a bit annoyed at being told a secret without warning. "Really? That's how this is gonna go down?"

"Yup." She said confidently, giving him a cheeky smile. "I knew if I told you beforehand this was a secret to be kept from Creed, you wouldn't have listened and I wouldn't have been able to give you my final request."

How the hell is she able to read me so well after just one conversation?

Train sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again. "Saying final request sounds so… final. How much…"

Seeing the cat trail off and deciding not to ask his question, Anastasia answered it anyway. "Not long. They said any day now." She smiled wistfully at the ceiling, as if she could see something Train couldn't. "There's no need to feel sad for me. I'm ready. I've been ready for ten years. I just need to make sure everyone else around me is ready."

Train looked at her, then at her adopted daughter who was trying to hide her smile as Creed yelled at Sergey in Russian for messing up his part of their song. Train couldn't hear them, but he had an idea that conversation was about Sergey being distracted by Creed's playing and Creed being annoyed by the man's zealous attitude.

Guess Creed knows how it feels now…

"Is your daughter ready?"

Anastasia nodded. "She's stronger than she looks. She may appear young, but she has the soul of a woman who's lived a long life."

Train smiled at her. "Sounds like Eve…"

"Creed said the same thing. I only met the girl once, but I can see the resemblance. I think that's why I was kind to her as well." Thinking of Eve made her think of someone else and she frowned. "Will that woman be coming tomorrow as well?"

Train blinked at her. "Do you mean Rins?" Seeing the annoyance in her eyes, the cat nodded and laughed. "Yes. Sorry."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "As long as she keeps her grubby little paws off my students' instruments, it's fine. Maybe I should get security for backstage…"

Train turned to her and saluted. "Black Cat Security, at your service, ma'am! I have a feeling Creed will want me backstage anyway. So he can see me while he's performing."

Anastasia chuckled again. "He actually asked if that was possible today. I'm glad you're willing to do it. He's really nervous about performing in front of an audience and he said he needs to see his muse if he's going to get through the night."

Train rolled his eyes and blushed, trying to cover his face with his arms as he slumped in the chair. "That's fine… I don't mind standing backstage…"

Anastasia smiled knowingly then tapped his knee and gestured for him to help her up. The gunman did so and led her back to the stage. She narrowed her eyes at Sergey and growled as she approached, then slammed her cane on the stage to get their attention.

"Sergey! Stop staring at Creed and pay attention to your solo in measure forty-two! You play better than this!"

The music stopped suddenly as Creed also glared at the man who pouted at the two of them. "It's not fair to ask me to control my emotions while playing! That's when they come out!"

Feeling a bit of playfulness rise in him as he helped Anastasia up the stairs, Train decided to step into the conversation. "You might be in for a rough time, Sergey. I know for a fact Creed's going to be wearing a tux. If he's a distraction now, just wait until tomorrow night."

Creed felt his face turn a bright shade of red at his beloved's compliment, his eyes widening viciously as he watched his Kitten smile cheekily at him, helping his teacher sit back in the chair her flute still rested on. When Train saw Creed try to sputter a witty response, he turned to flick his former partner on the head, knowing that it always shut him up.

"It's a joke, Creed. Calm down." Train said sincerely, hoping Creed understood he was only messing with him.

Creed nodded rapidly, his head spinning with joy as his eyes drank in the beautiful, impish look his beloved was giving him. He felt his hands about to take life on their own and almost grabbed Train's face to kiss him. His hands were even moving towards his love when he heard Sergey's voice save him from the embarrassment and replaced it with another.

"Oh, is that so…? I'll make sure to wear my baggy pants and bring a camera." He smirked at Creed as he took his clarinet apart, aware their time together was going to come to an end now that his crush's true love was back.

Train laughed at Creed's face, clutching his stomach as his silver friend gave him a heated look. Aimee smack the Russian man again who yelped quietly as Anastasia nodded in approval. Dae giggled in the background as Francisco already had his instrument away and was walking off the stage.

The Black Cat stretched wildly and looked down at Creed who still sat at the piano. "You ready to go? We need to make a few pit stops before we head home. After all, it's someone's birthday tomorrow."

Creed frowned at his kitten. "You really don't have to do anything for me, Train. The concert and piano are enough of a present. That's all I need."

Well… I need you as well, but I know that's never going to happen again.

Train rolled his eyes at Creed's sad look. "Yeah, but I didn't get you any of those things."

Creed harshened his pout. "You especially don't need to get me anything. Just being by your side is enough…" He found that he couldn't stop his emotional throw up from coming out. That's what playing the piano did to him. "Besides… What I want from you is something you can never give me again…"

Train buried his head in his face as he heard Dae make a sympathetic noise as she walked past him and off the stage and Sergey scoffed angrily at Creed's sweet sentiment as he followed after the woman. Not sure how to respond to that, Train found himself looking at Anastasia who shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

"...Just shut up and let me celebrate your birthday with you. After all, you always make sure to celebrate mine even when I say no, don't you?"

Creed felt himself blush and nodded his head. Every year, whether Train liked it or not, Creed always got him a cake and brought him as much food as he could eat. Even when they were in Chronos together, Creed always managed to bring him the delicious treats along with several dozen flowers. This year was no different minus the flowers since Creed knew that was over kill.

And we've never celebrated my birthday. Even when we were together, my birthday fell during a time when we were not together so I don't think my Kitten saw the point in celebrating it. I can't lie, even the idea that he wants to celebrate with me is the most amazing feeling in the world.

Creed looked up at his love, his heart fluttering with unrelenting desires as he gazed longingly into those amber orbs he adored so dearly. He stood and fought the urge to embrace his love, but sighed peacefully and swooned slightly as his love gave him another cheeky smile.

"Anything for you, Train…"

Train nodded and patted his shoulder. "Good. First things first: Food. I'm starving!"

Creed giggled and followed after his love, waving bye to his teacher and her daughter as he left. "How is that different from any other day?"

Train glared at the man from the corner of his eye. "Because if I don't get something to eat soon, I'm going to eat your fingers. And then what will you play the piano with tomorrow?"

Creed smiled fondly at his cat. "Guess I'll have to use my nubs."

Train rolled his eyes. "Gross, Creed."

"You started it!"

"Whatever, just hurry up and follow me. I had to park pretty far away." Train picked up the pace a little as he walked down the street.

Creed allowed his Kitten a head start, giving himself a moment to gaze intently at his beloved's back. He reached a hand out, trying to get a feel on the man he needed more than anything else in the world to be whole and sighed painfully when he knew that was never going to happen again. He would forever be incomplete without his cat.

"I'll follow you anywhere, Train… You know that."

---

Creed was overjoyed with how the rest of his day had gone. Not only did he have an amazing rehearsal with his new musician friends, but he and Train spent the rest of the day with each other. After his beloved picked him up, they went out for lunch, then ran a few errands that apparently Creed wasn't allowed to leave the car for. It was sort of pointless for Train to try and hide what he was buying, since Creed was able to get a glimpse of everything

I listened to my Kitten and didn't look, but how does he honestly think he can hide a cake from me?

His love had put everything in the trunk, but the cake was not something Train could not keep from him easily. It sat in the backseat of the car and although Creed didn't see it since Train covered it up with his jacket, it was hard to mistake the large box with anything else.

I can also smell the cake. I know he bought me red velvet. How did he know that was my favorite? (A/N*)

Creed smiled fondly and felt himself swooning while he played his piano in his room. It was also shocking to Creed why his cat would get something so large for what he assumed was going to be a small party. However, with the size of the box Creed caught a quick glimpse of, he had a feeling it was more people.

Unless he plans on making it bigger than I thought. Who else would he invite?

Creed figured it would just be him, Train, Sven, Eve, and Rinslet since Lin would have to report back to Chronos by the time his birthday happened. Creed was eternally grateful for that and it was the only birthday present he really wanted from Train. All he wanted was his beloved's undivided attention and with Lin out of the mix, he was pretty sure he was going to get that since whenever the number wasn't around, Train spent most of his time with him.

I wish Lin wasn't in the picture at all. I know it's selfish to think about it, but if Train wasn't Lin's lover, I would be able to spend so much more time with him… I know I can never win him back and the most I can ever expect to get from him is friendship, but at least if he was still single, not only would my fantasies be closer to reality, but I'd get to have more time with Train.

Creed frowned at his piano, taking another large gulp of his wine he had poured himself the minute he noticed Lin was at their house. He was already on his fourth glass since that seemed to help him forget that the only man he would ever love was currently spending his time with another man. It was distressing to know not even his piano playing wasn't able to help him right now. While the day had been wonderfully spent with Train, it seemed to make the idea that his love was with another right now all the harder to accept.

Why couldn't Lin leave a day earlier? Why did he have to come over tonight? The night before my birthday. Couldn't he leave me with Train for the whole weekend instead of just a day? Even if Train doesn't belong to me, just the idea of knowing I have his full attention and all of his time is enough to satisfy me...

Creed moaned painfully since he knew that wasn't true, glancing over at a bouquet of roses he had managed to pluck from a neighbor's garden, sad knowing he wasn't able to give them to his beloved.

I want him so bad… I would do anything to have him love me again...

He took another sip of wine to try and forget about his heartache and halted his practice since he was unable to play it as he thought of his Kitten being with Lin. Normally, that was his inspiration for performing, but right now it was difficult since he knew his beloved was currently spending alone time with the number before he left. Currently, Creed was sitting in his room alone, trying to practice his piece a few more times before tomorrow and also trying to distract himself from what he could only assume his love was doing with another man.

I haven't been able to hear them, but that doesn't mean anything. Train makes an attempt to sound quiet when he knows I'm home, but Lin doesn't. Unless my Kitten was able to convince him to keep quiet for my birthday. If that's the case, I appreciate it.

They had been home for a few hours now and after spending most of the day out with his beloved, the sun had already set leaving Creed alone to play his piano in the moonlight that drenched his room through the window. He left the shades open since the moon was so bright tonight and he hoped that would also act as a distraction. Train had been in his room with Lin for the past few hours, making Creed have no other choice but to believe they were making love before Number X disappeared for a few days while he reported back to Chronos.

But, I guess I really have no proof since I can't hear anything. I wonder if Train really was able to make him stay quiet for my sake.

Creed took a deep breath and another sip of wine, his body beginning to sway from the alcohol that coursed through his system. He rarely ever over drank, but tonight was an exception. Not only was tomorrow his birthday and the first time he'd be playing in front of a large group of people, but he also needed something to block out the images of his beloved having sex with his new lower. He finished his fourth glass, pouring himself a fifth since he brought the bottle into his room for easy access.

Also so I don't have to keep walking by Train's room to get to the kitchen.

Once he finished pouring, he took another big gulp and decided to play another piece instead of the one he was going to be playing tomorrow. He didn't want to over practice it, so he decided to try to play something different. That way he could keep his fingers ready, but his heart and mind open to other possibilities.

What other piece would be fitting right now? What other piece would properly portray the fullness my heart feels after spending the day with my Train, but also let out the agony I feel at knowing I cannot have with him what Lin has?

Creed smiled lazily as he thought of a different piece and took another drink. Instead of Mozart, he opted to play Chopin. More specifically, Chopin's Nocturnes, Op. 9: No. 2. It seemed fitting since the sun had set a few hours ago. It was also a pensive and faraway enough of a piece to keep Creed thinking of his beloved, but also able to imagine what would have been possible between them if he hadn't impulsively ruined their future together. It also wasn't so difficult that Creed didn't have to think about it too much, which was good since he was feeling rather drunk.

As he began to play, he slowly felt his mind begin to slip away from reality and to sorrowful thoughts he had of his beloved. He saw flashes of the time they spent together in the past, times when they were happy and in love. All before Train found out of his dark secret that involved the betrayal of his Kitten. The deepest kind of betrayal that Creed knew could never be forgiven. He thought of what could have been between them if their tragic ending never occurred. For this fantasy, he ignored the irony of the tragedy needing to happen in order for their happiness to take place.

Creed smiled as he thought to this fictitious future. A future in which Train was his and they had never been separated by his mistake. This fantasy also included the woman he once believed to be a witch enchanting his beloved with a spell. In this new world, Saya stood behind them both, cheering on the prosperity of their love with an enthusiastic glee. In this fake world Creed had created, his kitten was able to live his happily ever after with him and with the knowledge that his best friend was delighted for the bliss they had found in each other.

However when the song ended, so did his fantasy. He sobbed quietly and pulled his hands away from the piano, staring at the keys as he allowed himself a moment to sit in his hopelessness. Creed took in a deep breath as he let out another muted sob, trying to calm himself down before he got too carried away. While it was easy for thoughts his beloved to bring him to tears, it usually took more than simple hypothetical ideas to make him so sensitive. Creed knew it had to be due to the wine, but that didn't stop him from taking another sip.

When he took that sip, he heard a half amused, half frustrated sigh coming from the door and turned his head wildly to see who had created it. Creed felt his heart skip several beats as his breath caught in his throat as he watched Train staring at him. His beloved was leaning on the door frame, arms crossed as he locked eyes with the silver man, either unaware or ignoring the extreme reaction Creed was having to his mere presence.

"Train…" Creed said, the alcohol making his voice come out more more quixoticly than be meant to. However, he had a feeling that might have been how he always sounded whenever he said his love's name. "How long have you been standing there?"

Train laughed as he spoke. "Long enough to see you being a bit too dramatic. I actually recognized that song. What was it?"

Creed smiled adoringly at his Kitten, aware of how reverential his eyes looked, but knowing the alcohol made him unable to change his expression. "Chopin's Nocturnes. I'm not surprised you've heard it before. I practiced it a lot and it's pretty well known."

As Train took a few steps into his room, Creed fought the urge to jump at his beloved and throw him on the bed to have his way with the cat. Train seemed to sense this and decided to stop his movements into the room and stayed a few feet away from the piano. It did not stop the devout looks Creed was giving him, but he also knew nothing he did would ever stop his gluttonous ex-partner's worshipping eyes. It was something he had learned to live with.

"You should close your door if you're going to practice this late at night. Sven and Eve are both sleeping." Train shut Creed's door, then turned back to face the silver man. He kept his arms crossed, feeling a bit vulnerable since he knew the man's sadness was due in part to him. "Why are you playing that instead of the piece you'll be playing tomorrow?"

Creed was able to read his Kitten's unease and frowned. "What's wrong, Train? Are you upset Lin left?"

Train cocked an eyebrow at his friend's question, confused at the bluntness and obvious misery behind his voice. Ceed always sounded sad whenever he said Train's new lover's name, but this time he didn't even attempt to hide it. The Black Cat's eyes glanced over at the nearly empty bottle of wine sitting on the piano and rolled his eyes, now understanding why his ex-partner was being extra sensitive and emotional.

"Lin left, don't worry about him. How much have you had to drink?"

Creed grimaced at his beloved's question, then looked at the bottle resting on his piano. "Five glasses…?"

Train blinked and gawked at the silver man. "Five?! Are you going to be okay for tomorrow?"

Creed giggled and rolled his eyes at his beloved. "Yes, I will. The concert isn't until the evening anyway. That's plenty of time for me to recover."

Train gave him a small glare and walked closer. "Still, I think that's enough. It's getting late anyway, you should go to bed."

Creed frowned as his cat took the bottle away. "Just because you're a lightweight doesn't mean the rest of the world is…"

Train chuckled lightly. "Yeah, but anyone with half a brain could see you're on the edge of being drunk, if not already there. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that's enough."

Creed gave his love a defiant look and finished his fifth glass in one gulp. "No matter how cute you are, you can't stop me from living my best life."

Train felt himself make a strangled noise at Creed's words, now fully convinced the man was drunk since he knew his former lover always made sure to keep thoughts like that to himself. Still, the cat couldn't help but feel flustered at his words and even looked away to cover his embarrassment.

"N-no, but I can stop you from getting too drunk and as I said, it's late. You should be getting ready for bed."

Creed pouted at his love, resting his elbow on his piano, ignoring the ghastly sound he created as he placed his head on his hand. He continued to gaze lovingly at his Kitten, unable to fight the lack of inhibition the alcohol created. "Come on, Train. There's only a little bit left. Just let me finish it. Then I'll go to bed."

Train snicker as he waved the bottle in the air. "You mean this? I'd say this is at least another glass and I don't think you can handle that."

Creed smirked at his kitten, unaware of how lewd his eyes were. "Well, if you just let me have it, I'd be able to prove you wrong."

The Black Cat didn't seem to register the perverted tone in Creed's voice as he continued trying to mess with his friend. "Nah, that's not happening. Not unless your drunk ass can take it from my sober, agile hands."

"Challenge accepted!" Creed said cheerfully as he leapt from his bench, throwing himself drunkenly at his beloved.

Train's eyes widened as Creed leapt towards him, missing by quite a bit as he fell towards the floor. The gunman stared down at his friend, snickering quietly as he watched Creed curse and try to sit himself up. Train leaned down and waved the bottle in his face again, smiling cheekily as he addressed his sweeper partner.

"See? You couldn't take this from a child let alone the legendary Black Cat. Don't insult me with your drunken attempts!"

Creed frowned up at his beloved as he took another swipe for the bottle. He sighed when he missed and rested his head back on the floor. "You know I would never insult you, Train... I love you…"

Train frowned down at the man, then squatted slightly so he was a little closer to his face. "You really are drunk, aren't you?"

Creed sighed. "I guess if I'm speaking my heart's truth… Then yes. I am very drunk." He lifted his head a little, smiling adoringly as he met his love's glorious golden eyes. "I love you so much, Train…"

Train sighed in frustration as he ran his fingers through his chocolate hair. "I know, Creed… Why don't you just let me put you to bed?"

Creed chuckled deviantly at his Kitten. "I would enjoy that more than anything else in the world, Train…"

Train felt himself blush brightly and lowered his head. "You are out of control tonight."

Creed laughed again as he rolled onto his back. "Not as out of control as I wish I could be with you."

The gunman rolled his eyes again and stood up, offering a hand to help Creed stand up, the bottle of wine still in his hand. "Alright, that's enough of that. Time for beddy-bye, Creedy-kins."

Creed moaned longingly as Train took a hold of his hand to pull him up. The swordsman felt his body falling lethargically against his love's chest as he sighed deeply. He pressed his face against Train as he took in a deep breath, reveling in the scent of his beloved.

"You smell so good, Train…" He nuzzled his face a little closer to his beloved's chest, the presence of alcohol and Train making him forget himself as he began to speak loving words to the Black Cat. "I miss you so much..."

Train looked down at his ex-lover as he gripped his shirt tightly and buried his face as deep into his chest as he could. He sighed and patted Creed's head as platonically as possible, ignoring the warmth that was rising in his own body.

"Creed… You're drunk. You don't know what you're saying."

Creed shook his head and gripped onto his Kitten tighter. "No. I know exactly what I'm saying. I just don't have the capacity to stop myself." He wiggled his head into Train, taking in a deep breath as his mouth lost control of itself. "I want you so bad. I miss you so much. I would do anything to be with you again. I would lasso the moon and pull it out of the sky to place in your perfect hands if that's what you wanted. I would pluck the stars from the sky and decorate your room with them if that's what you wanted. Just name it Train, and I'll do it. I'll do anything to have your love again."

Train stared down at his ex-partner as he whispered loving words to him, not sure what to do or what to say to the man who was all but baring his soul to him. He knew the wine was giving Creed the confidence to speak so openly to him, but that didn't make his feelings any less true. Train knew that everything Creed said to him was true since this was how the man spoke to him when they were together.

"How is it possible that you can speak so eloquently when you're drunk, but when I'm drunk, I'm slurring my words and making no sense?" Train tried to change the subject, hoping that would kindly hint towards the man that they were beginning to fall into a potentially dangerous conversation.

Creed giggled, but did not move away from his Kitten. "That's okay, Train. Everything else you do is perfect, you're allowed to have one flaw." He sighed and rubbed his head against his love's chest. "Actually, it's not even a flaw. It's endearing. It was very cute."

Train watched as the swordsman made himself comfortable against his chest and sighed defeatedly. He knew he should have pushed Creed off and walked away, but found that impossible to do as the silver man gripped his shirt even tighter and nuzzled a bit closer, sighing wistfully as he took another deep breath in of the Black Cat. He knew it wasn't fair to Lin to allow Creed to speak so fondly to him, but he also knew stopping his ex-lover mid thought would only hurt him. Creed was never able to speak to Train this way, and the alcohol made it somewhat acceptable behavior since he couldn't control his impulses. With that thought in mind, Train figured he may as well let the man say what he wanted to say.

As long as it remains as just words, it's fine. I'm just hearing a drunk friend speak his true emotions. He always lets me speak what's in my heart. The least I could do is let him do the same at least this one time.

"I love you so much, Train…" Creed groaned painfully into his chest, his fingers clinging desperately to his shirt.

The cat sighed shakily. "You already said that, Creed…"

Creed felt his body quake with desire as he heard his love's voice enter his ear. "I could say it every day for a million days and it would never be enough. No words will ever be able to express what I sincerely feel in my heart for you." He sighed sadly and pulled his head away slightly. "I-I'm sorry, Train… I guess I am drunk…"

Train chuckled quietly and patted the man's head again. "It's okay, Creed. Just go to bed."

Creed shook his head and made another grab for the bottle. "Not yet. Just let me finish the bottle first."

Train pulled it away and gave him a stern look. "Didn't you just admit you were drunk? You don't need to finish this."

Creed pouted at his love, his hand still clutching tightly to Train's shirt, happy his cat hadn't pushed him away yet. "It's just a little bit, Train! It's better to finish it all than leave it sitting out in the open. We don't own a wine stopper."

Train gave him a confused look. "A what?"

Creed returned his look. "A wine stopper. Do you seriously not know what that is?" At his love's continued bewildered look, Creed sighed and lowered his head, resting his forehead lightly against Train's chest once more. "You are so lucky you're so devastatingly beautiful…"

Train felt himself blush again, but ignored it in favor of scowling at the man. "Well, excuse me for not drinking wine! At least I can gather from the name of it that it's meant to stop wine." He frowned at the bottle he was holding, ignoring Cred as he began to settle his drunken head into his chest once more. "Will it go bad if it's left open?"

Creed nodded his head, smiling brightly as he realized Train still had not pushed him away. "Yes. And it's good wine. I've been putting money aside from our sweeps to be able to purchase it. I was saving it for tomorrow, but… I needed a distraction."

Train frowned at the man. "From what?"

Creed sighed sadly as he pulled away again reluctantly. "You weren't loud, Train. Don't worry, I didn't hear you. But, I'm not stupid. I know what you were doing. Lin left tonight and he won't be back for a few days. I know what I would want to do to you if I wasn't going to see you for a while…"

Train blushed again and shook his head. "Creed, Lin left hours ago. We weren't doing… That."

Creed gave his love a hopeful look. "Really?!" He frowned when he realized that meant he didn't know where Train had been all this time. "Then… Where were you this whole time?"

Normally when Lin wasn't around, his beloved would hang out with him. It hurt a little to know his cat chose not to spend time with him.

Train sighed and looked away from Creed. "I was sitting on the roof. I just… Needed to think."

Creed breathed a sigh of relief knowing his Kitten was not making love to Lin this whole time, but he did not feel fully better since he knew Train and the number were still lovers. He heard them having sex on mulitiple ocassion since their first time, so in retrospect, it didn't matter in the grand scheme of things that they didn't sleep together this one night.

When he heard the sadness in his beloved's voice, he whimpered a little. He also hurt when Train hurt and he could tell something was bothering his cat. "About what, Train?"

Train glanced at Creed, then at the bottle of wine and decided to focus back on that instead of his pensive thoughts. That would only lead to dangerous waters again, which he desperately wanted to avoid especially the night before his friend's birthday.

"How much did it cost?"

Creed blinked in confusion at his love, feeling himself stumble a little as Train reached out to hold him still again. He sighed gleefully when he fell back into his love's chest, nuzzling close once more. "How much did what cost, Train?"

Train sighed and pushed him away gently, but not enough so Creed wasn't still holding on to him. He waved the bottle of wine in his ex-partner's face and smirked. "The wine. How much did it cost?"

Creed laughed bitterly and dropped his head. "Enough…"

Train glanced at the bottle, then at his friend who seemed to be trying hard not to fall back into his chest as he straightened himself up. The gunman sighed deepingly, then downed whatever was left in the bottle. Creed gasped and stared at his love in shock, grasping at the bottle to get his Kitten to stop before he finished everything that was left. Train spun away from him and swallowed thickly as he drank the last drop. Once he was done, he gasped triumphantly, giving his friend another cheeky look as he turned the bottle upside down to show Creed it was empty.

"Actually, that's not too bad. You should have shared."

Creed gave his love a concerned look. "Train, this wine is really strong. You shouldn't have done that!"

Train rolled his eyes and placed the bottle back on Creed's piano. "Well, now you don't have to worry about it."

Creed pouted at his beloved. "But, Train… You're already so susceptible to alcohol and like I said, this was strong wine. You're going to feel the effects rather quickly."

Train shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his friend, his body already confirming Creed's words as he took a slight misstep back towards the silver man. However, he refused to let Creed know he was right.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." He pointed to the bed firmly, hoping Creed would get the picture that he had enough of his foolishness. "Alright. Go to bed."

Creed sighed and looked at his bed, then back at his piano, then back at his beloved. "But I'm not tired…"

Train made a frustrated noise and walked away from the man. "Then what do I have to do to make you tired?"

Creed giggled then smirked. "Do you really want me to answer that, Train?"

Train felt his heart beat fast, then shook his head. "No. Don't answer that. It was a dumb question."

I really set myself up for that, didn't I? Still, it's not good that just the mere thought Creed placed in my head can still get me flustered.

Train knew the alcohol was mixing in with his already left over desires for the man in front of him and he was having a hard time controlling the unrelenting heat that seemed insistent on boiling inside him. However, he knew he needed to keep it subdued, since even the slight inking of lust from Train would make Creed dive in head first to a frenzied encounter with him.

Creed giggled again, then looked at his bed forlornly. "You're probably right. I should go to bed…"

The cat sighed in relief, trying to calm his own body down as he turned back to his friend. "Good. Glad to see you've finally come around to reason."

Creed shrugged his shoulders and gave Train another longing look. "That's not exactly right. I'm just aware staying awake won't get me what I want, so I may as well go to sleep where my dreams can make those desires come true…"

Train ignored the heat in his groin again and rubbed his eyes. "Alcohol has made you really rapacious."

Creed shook his head as he made his way sluggishly to the bed. "No, that's just what you do to me on a regular basis. Alcohol is just making my statements permissible."

"Alright, alright, I get it. Go to bed." Train said as he walked to one side of Creed's bed and pulled back the blankets.

Creed smiled obediently at his love. "Anything you say, Train…"

As he crawled into bed, Train smiled slightly at the sweet face Creed made when he rested his head on the pillow. Creed's blue eyes were searching drunkenly for Train's, a hint of anguish evident as he seemed to forget where the cat was. Once he found him again, he sighed heartily and reached for the gunman.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are, Train?" Creed's voice was breathless as he spoke, his eyes showing nothing but complete devotion towards the man that stood next to his bed.

Train once again pushed aside the heat in his chest as he pulled the blankets up over his former lover. "Only a thousand times."

Creed smiled wider. "Then that's not enough… How many languages have I used to tell you that?"

Train felt himself laugh a little. "Again, probably a thousand."

He knew he shouldn't be encouraging Creed's words, but he also knew they were in a rare moment when Creed could let his feelings out in an acceptable way since he had the excuse of alcohol for his lack of control. Train was also beginning to feel a bit tipsy himself and starting to regret finishing the bottle. That was made more clear to him when he found himself almost matching the look Creed was giving him, the alcohol in his system making it easy to forget the guilt he had at still feeling any form of affection towards the silver man.

Creed laughed and rolled to his side so he could fully see his love. "That's also not enough. There aren't enough words or languages to ever describe how much I love you and how beautiful you are."

Train sighed and sat in the chair next to Creed's bed, realizing this conversation was not going to be ending soon and the alcohol in his system made it seem like a good idea to indulge the man. "Why do you say that, Creed? Haven't I hurt you enough?"

Creed frowned at his love, resting his hands under his head as he continued to gaze eagerly at his cat. "There's nothing you could ever do to stop me from loving you. And there's no amount of hurt you could ever put me through that would ever equal the hurt I put you through. And there's no hurt in the world that will ever match how much agony I'm in knowing I can never be with you again..."

Train moved his eyes away from Creed's, not sure how to respond to that. The warmth he felt left him suddenly as he remembered what the man had done to him…

... To Saya.

"I… I wish I didn't hate you so much sometimes, Creed…" Train's voice was quiet, as if he didn't know he spoke his thoughts.

Creed pouted at his love, the pain in his voice palpable. "I'm sorry, Train…"

Train rested his head in his hands. "I didn't mean to say it so bluntly, Creed. The wine is working against me as well now…" He took a deep breath and looked at his former partner. "What I mean is… I wish we could go back to the way things were. I wish I didn't feel this malice towards you and I wish I didn't cringe at the idea of being close to you again… I can't say I still want the same thing you want, but I can say I wish I didn't have so much animosity towards you."

Creed felt his heart break at his love's tipsy confession, not aware this night was going to end in such a deep conversation with his Kitten. "You know I want that more than anything, Train. You know I wish more than anything else in the world that we could be what we once were. That we could move past this tragedy that has torn us apart. I dream of it every night, but I am painfully aware that it will never happen. What I did to you is unforgivable… Now all I can do is stand by your side, comfort you, and remind you of how sorry I am."

Train glanced at Creed, then looked back down at the floor. "...Then why did you do it, Creed?"

Creed watched as his love let go of a single tear and instinctively reached out to wipe it away. "I'm so sorry, Train…"

Train allowed Creed's hand to caress his cheek as he turned his gaze to meet his former lover's. "You keep saying that, but it doesn't make it better! It doesn't change the lies you told me to make sure I stayed with you! I-It... doesn't change what you did to Saya... And it doesn't change anything that happened between us."

Creed whimpered at his love, continuing to massage his cheek with his thumb. "...I know."

Train suddenly felt mad and lashed out at the man, the wine course through his system making it all the more difficult to control his outburst. "Then why did you do that to me?! To us?!"

Creed watched as his beloved let out a violent sob and sat up. He took Train in his arms and held him close, ignoring the irony of being the source of pain for his beautiful cat, but he also didn't care. All that mattered was his Kitten's happiness, and right now, he wasn't happy. Train had been through so much in his life, then Creed came along and made it so much worse. He made Train fall in love with him then found out he killed the first person who ever showed him an ounce of compassion. The first person that ever showed care for him.

"Train…" Creed said as he caressed his love's hair, pulling him close, not caring how wobby the wine made him. "Train… I'm so sorry… If I could go back in time and stop myself from doing that I would. I'm aware that would mean I probably never would have been with you, but I also don't care. If the sacrifice I have to make means never having your heart in the first place, I would do it in a heartbeat. If I could give my life in return for hers, I would. I would slice out my heart and place it in Saya's chest and remind you of my love with my last breath. I would drain all the life from my body and give it to her if it meant you could have just one more conversation with her. When I say I would do anything for you Train, I mean it."

Train felt himself shake, not caring enough to push himself out of Creed's arms. He hadn't cried like this in awhile and it felt good to get it out. After taking in a few deep breaths to calm himself down and hearing Creed finish his sentence, Train couldn't help but laugh at the theatrics of his former partner's statement.

"Why do you always have to be so dramatic with your metaphors when regarding me?"

Creed chuckled quietly and rubbed Train's back and hair, holding him tight as he felt his Kitten begin to calm down. "I think we've had this conversation a thousand times, but I'll give you the same answer I always do: Nothing is too dramatic when it comes to you, Train."

Train laughed again and pushed away from Creed, but stopped when their eyes locked. He felt his heart beating faster, the wine clouding his thoughts when he saw the passionate look Creed was giving him. He watched as his former lover's eyes fell to his lips as he moaned ardently, making obvious attempts to prevent himself from kissing Train again. However, the cat felt his own control dewildling the longer he stayed this close to Creed's face and the alcohol was making it even harder to move away. When he saw Creed lick his lips, Train felt the last of his composure slip away and impulsively moved closer, pressing his lips against the swordsman's.

Creed gasped enthusiastically then immediately responded to his beloved's kiss. He was drunk enough to believe it was a dream, but also didn't care. Train had been the one to start the kiss and Creed certainly wasn't going to be the one to end it. He wrapped his arms tight around his love's back, pressing his hand harder into the back of Train's head as he felt his Kitten deepen the kiss fervently. Creed even felt Train pushing him back onto the bed as he began to climb next to him, his body seemingly moving on it's own as he ran his fingers through Creed's hair.

As soon as the silver man felt Train crawl in the bed next to him, Creed rolled himself so he was on top of his beloved, making sure their lips never parted. He moaned hungrily as he felt Train continue running his hands urgently through his silver hair, all of his common sense leaving him as he plunged his tongue deep into his Kitten's mouth. Creed knew this was only happening because of the wine Train consumed and he also knew that he should stop before things went too far and his love grew angry with him once more, but his drunken mind and body made that impossible.

When he felt Train purr against his lips and grip his hair tighter, Creed moved his hands down to his love's waist and up his shirt, feeling his own body shaking with desire when he felt his Kitten's hard muscles twitch under his hands. He moved his fingers slowly and intently, making sure to reacquaint himself with how his beloved felt before Train sobered up and realized enough was enough. However, when he felt his beloved thrust his hips up slightly, brushing their groins together in a brief moment of bliss, Creed nearly collapsed against the man beneath him, knowing he was already hard and feeling how his cat's body was reacting to their embrace as well.

Train's conscience was trying to scream at him to stop, but the wine Creed warned him about was turning out to be stronger than he realized, making it almost impossible to listen to the voice in his head. Creed's lips felt so good against him and his mouth tasted better than the sweetest treats he's ever eaten. Even the light touch of Creed's fingers felt like heaven and put him in complete ecstasy which made the animalistic side of him win in that moment. When he felt Creed's fingers gently rub against his nipples, he moaned zealously and arched his back upwards, the sensation almost wiping out how wrong the situation was.

He didn't realize when his body electrified itself with the passion that he was feeling, his lips sparking excitedly as Creed pressed harder against him. Creed, on the other hand, felt the electric heat emitting from his beloved's body and it only roused him to go further and plunge his tongue deeper. His Kitten had even managed to jolt his tongue with electricity, making Creed groan longingly as he continued to probe his love's mouth, enjoying the sparks that surrounded the deep cravesses of Train's cavity.

Wanting to know how else his beloved's body was reacting, Creed moved his lips away and placed them against his neck. Train swallowed thickly and wrapped his arms around the man's back, his whole body now igniting in electric sparks, sending a wave of pleasure down Creed's back that he had never felt before. His Kitten's skin was sparking brightly with an electric intensity only Train could create and Creed's lips were tingling with a marvelous sensation.

Unknowingly, Train slipped his arms underneath Creed's shirt, feeling the goosebumps his electrified fingers created against the swordsman's silky skin, driving even more of his senses away as he fell even more into his ex-lover's touch. When Creed nibbled at his neck, he hissed and moan again, scraping his nails against his back slightly as the man on top of him sucked at his neck eagerly. He felt a wave of pleasure pass through him as a precipitous burst of electricity exploded from his body, causing a rather strong moan to escape Creed's lips.

This isn't right… I need to stop. It's not fair to anyone and everyone is going to get hurt.

He tried to think of Lin and the commitment he made to the number, but those wholesome thoughts were quickly replaced with lustful ones when Creed moved his mouth to Train's ear and began nibbling seductively at his lobe. He tried to remind himself again, but then he felt Creed's thumbs rub against each of his nipples and the man's lower body pressed vigorously into his own at the same time which once again erased any thoughts of his current lover. He released another flare of electricity from his skin which only made Creed's fingers against his chest more urgent.

Train moaned when Creed began moving his lower body back and forth against his own, the thin fabric of their sleepwear making the friction all the more powerful, leaving very little to the imagination. He knew he was still sparking, which was something new for the both of them, but also something that added an extra level of pleasure.

"Oh, Train…" Creed said excitedly into his ear as he kept his hands and groin moving against his beloved as the literal and figurative sparks passed between them. "I love you so much…"

Train didn't have the chance to respond or stop Creed as he sucked viciously at his neck once more, his hips working faster against the cat's, pressing their groins together harder as he continued playing with Train's nipples. The alcohol added another level of pleasure to the already sensual situation, making the Black Cat move his hands to Creed's lower body, grasping fiercely at his hips to encourage the silver man to apply more pressure against his member. Creed complied immediately and pushed down even harder, his heart melting at the carnal sound his Kitten made.

"I love you, Train." Creed said again, keeping all of his motions going against his beloved as his lips moved against Train's, brushing against them as he repeated his devotion for the man over and over again. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…"

Creed dove his tongue back into Train's mouth, making sure to never stop what the rest of his body was doing, hoping that that and the alcohol would be enough to permit him to keep going. There was a part of his drunken mind that still believed this was a dream and he prayed that he didn't wake up, but the bit of practicality he had left knew this was really happening. That was the part of him that made his hips move faster against his beloved, his hands wandering freely along his chest since he knew this was something Train would never allow him to have again.

I can't believe my Kitten is even letting me have it now! I know it's wrong, but I can't stop myself! I don't think either of us can right now.

Train felt his body catch on fire as Creed pinched his nipples and explored his mouth with his tongue. His ex-partner's lower body felt so good rubbing against his own and he found himself wanting more. He didn't notice when his hands moved from Creed's hips to his stomach, sliding up the man's baggy shirt as he began massaging his lean muscles with his electrified fingers. Train felt Creed shake and press his mouth harder into his own, twirling their tongues together as the silver man moaned loudly and pinched the cat's niples again. The cat returned the man's lascivious kiss, caressing Creed's tongue with his own as he desperately tried to cling to the last bit of sense he had to stop what they were doing.

Train let out a raucous moan when Creed paused their kiss for a minute to bite his lower lip tenderly, then promptly vaulted his tongue back into his beloved's mouth. As he massaged the other man's tongue stoutly, he felt his body going limp when Train's hands reached his chest and grazed lightly against his nipples. Creed stopped his hips movements and collapsed on his cat, unable to contain the greedy mania he locked away when Train left him anymore. However, that same mania made it difficult for him to keep his body moving since he felt about ready to black out from the pleasure of feeling his love's sparking fingers brush against his sensitive skin.

I should stop. I know I should stop. If Train were thinking clearly he would want me to stop. But I can't. I love him so much. Oh, God, I want him so bad!

Despite his head screaming indignantly at him to stop and his crazed desires for Train making it nearly impossible to continue consuming his love's body, he did not stop his mouth from devouring his beloved's lips and tongue, making sure to keep something going against Train before his Kitten came to his senses and put a stop to this. He managed to lift his hands back up and move them to Train's pants, slipping them underneath the elastic band and massaging his beloved's inner thighs eagerly. Creed was happy Train wasn't wearing regular pants, because he was pretty sure if there was a belt, zipper, or buttons to stop him, he wouldn't have been able to get that far.

When Train felt Creed's fingers brush lightly against his shaft, he hissed and pulled his lips away from the man, gasping from the pleasure that still coursed through his body as he spoke.

"Creed..." He whispered, feeling a bit of the alcohol wearing off as his senses slowly started to return. "Creed… S-Stop… I-I can't…" He knew his voice betrayed him as it cracked with want and a voracity he hadn't felt in a while. Even with all the time he had spent with Lin.

Lin…

Before his guilty thoughts could start, he felt Creed's fingers trace his penis gingerly, as if the swordsman was too lost in his own avarice to hear anything except the pleasurable moans Train let out. The Black Cat purred fervidly as Creed twirled his index finger around the tip of his cock, the surge of electricity that went through his body betraying his words and thoughts as he gripped at Creed's back tightly. When he felt the silver man grip his cock firmly, he let out a harsh cry, then moaned exhilaratingly when Creed sucked delicately at his neck.

Train swallowed heavily when Creed moved his hand back and forth along his member, his body contradicting his words as he held the man closer, but tried to tell him to stop. "Creed… No, we can't…"

Creed bit his neck harshly then swirled his tongue around the spot lovingly. He still did not seem to hear Train as he continued moving his hand back and forth, his lips never stopping as they sucked lewdly at his neck. Train moaned eagerly, but his thoughts remained clouded as he tried once more to remind myself why this was wrong. Thinking of Lin made him feel guilty, but it didn't appear to be enough to make him truly tell Creed to stop. It was obvious he didn't want the man to stop, he was just saying they couldn't.

"You know, that was the third time."

"Third time what?"

"The third time you made a joke."

"Am I incapable of that?"

"That's not what I meant. You just seem to be having a change in your demeanor." Saya balanced the cap on the tip of her forefinger, concentrating on keeping it up more than necessary. "You seem…calmer."

Train's eyes shot open as his old friend began to haunt his thoughts.

Saya…

After Creed made a few more pumps at his shaft, Train moved his hands to the man's shoulders and pushed him away, rolling to the side of the bed as he sat on the edge of it. He rested his head in his hands, his back facing Creed as he tried to gather his senses that existed beyond the wine and the heat mixing recklessly through his body.

What the hell is wrong with me?! Why did I do that? Why did I let him do that?

Creed looked longingly at his love, trying to fight the alcohol and his own desires to tackle the man back to the bed and continue what they were doing. "Train… I-I'm so sorry. You know how much I want you. I-I can't help myself. Please don't be mad at me. I just love you so much I can't control myself. Please, Train, I love you…"

Train shook his head, but did not turn to face Creed. "No, I'm sorry, Creed…" His voice was bitter as he spoke, knowing he had no right to be mad at the man, even though the images of Saya raced through his head and he knew he should have been. "I-I don't know what came over me… I told you that would never happen again and yet..."

Creed frowned and sat up, reaching out to touch his love's shoulder gently. "I'm so sorry, Train. I should have stopped it. I shouldn't have let that happen. I'm sorry…"

"No." Train said firmly, knowing he had no one to blame but himself. "It was my fault, Creed. I'm just… I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want."

Creed smiled wistfully as he gazed lovingly at his Kitten's back. "Well… You know what I want, Train. And you know what Lin wants. And that solves half the problem, doesn't it?"

Train shrugged his shoulder to move Creed's hand away. "No… That only makes it more complicated. I need to figure out what I want."

And I need to know what Saya would want…

Creed sighed as he pulled his hand away, resting his head on his pillow, the alcohol in his body making it difficult to hold his body up. "Is that what Anastasia was telling you today?"

Train looked over his shoulder at the man, giving him a curious look. "How did you know that?"

Creed giggled, despite the hurt in his heart at knowing how close he just was to being with his Kitten again. "Because that sounds like something she would say and seeing as you were just so readily giving yourself to me, I can only imagine she told you something that would make you think you wanted to be with me again."

That damn woman… If I didn't care about her so much, I would be mad at her. She's just manipulating Train into thinking he loves me again.

"What else did you talk to her about, Train? You were with her for a while today…" Creed fought a yawn as he spoke, trying to keep his eyes open so he could continue to absorb his Kitten's strong frame.

Train felt his body go cold, completely opposite of what he felt earlier and shrugged his shoulders. "We just… talked…"

Why did she have to tell me not to tell Creed she was dying? I'm sure he's smart enough to figure it out on his own. What does she really think she's hiding from him?

Creed frowned at his love's words. "It's okay, Train. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to… It must have been a hard conversation."

Train laughed bitterly. "That's a light way of putting it…"

Creed reached towards his beloved again, his heart aching to feel the warmth of his body. "Train… Is it too much to ask you to sleep with me tonight? Not sexual, of course but… Just to lay next to me? For just one night?"

Train sighed and shook his head, even though he was pretty sure Creed didn't see it through his half close eyes. "No. That's the last thing we should do, especially after what just happened. I… I need to go clear my head."

Creed frowned and felt his eyes close slowly, his body beginning to lose against the wine still residing in his blood. "I know you'll never love me again, Train… You don't have to pretend for my sake… Or for her sake either…"

Train frowned. "What makes you think I was pretending?"

However, when he turned fully to look at the man, he sighed when he saw Creed had already fallen asleep. Train's body moved on its own once more as he reached out and ran a finger delicately through his ex-lover's hair, his heart splitting in two as he thought of the other man he had made a commitment to.

"I don't think I'm pretending, Creed… But I also don't think I can ever be with you again…" He allowed his finger to linger a bit, frowned as Creed smiled fondly in his sleep, murmuring loving words once more. "I just wish I knew what to do with these feelings…"

Train stood from the bed and pulled the blankets over Creed's shoulder, his heart filling with a warmth he knew was connected to what just happened between them, but not knowing how to deal with the emotion. As he caressed Creed's cheek gently, he thought of Lin and felt his heart break again.

"I've really put myself in a terrible situation, haven't I, Saya?" Train stepped away from his sleeping friend, trying to ignore the sweet words Creed continued to speak about him as he made his way to the door.

Once he reached it, he placed his hand on the knob and fought the urge to turn around and look at Creed again. He stepped outside, leaning his back against the door as he shut it and stared up at the ceiling sadly.

"Saya… What should I do?"

"You need to do what's right for you. You need to stop worrying about other people and do what makes you happy."

Instead of Saya's voice, he heard Anastasia and smiled sourly.

That woman must be channeling Saya somehow… Those words sound too familiar to just be from Anastasia.

Feeling his body's slightly drunken body forsaking him, Train pushed away from the door and down the hall. He passed the door to his room and made his way outside. Train looked up at the sky, then jumped up so he was standing on the roof. He still felt a bit tipsy and didn't trust flashing himself up there and he had a feeling Creed would hate that he went to the roof on a cold, wintry night when he was still feeling the effects of the wine he downed, but he couldn't sleep yet. He needed to think.

And maybe if I talk, Saya will hear me and listen again.

Train settled himself on the roof and laid down so he was gazing at the stars, searching to see if he could find any that might be speaking to him. Once he finally found one that sparkled a bit brighter than the others, he stopped his exploring and focused his attention on that. He smiled as it twinkled brightly as if reassuring him he had found the correct one.

"I… Don't know what to do, Saya. I don't know how to be happy again. Not like before when you were here… Or when I was with Cr-"

He stopped his sentence and shook his head, not willing to finish that thought let alone speak it out loud. Train saw the star he believed Saya was using to communicate with him sparkle a little more and frowned.

"I don't know what that means… Are you saying I should be with Creed?"

The star did nothing but sit high in the sky, making the cat sighed deeply and rub his eyes. "Are you going to just be useless tonight, or are you going to help me?"

He peaked through his fingers and glared at the star which had suddenly gone quiet at his questions. "What about Lin? What do I do with him?"

Train knew he just cheated on the man tonight, but he also knew Lin would forgive him in an instant and just assure him he didn't care as long as Train stayed with him.

The Black Cat reached a hand out to the star, trying to grasp it in his hands. "But… It's not right. I know it's not right. I shouldn't be with someone just because it will hurt them if I'm not. That goes for Creed and Lin."

"You need to start putting yourself first. Even if it hurts someone else along the way."

Train groaned when he heard Anastasia's voice again, knowing exactly what she meant when she spoke about his relationship with Lin.

"Anastasia thinks I should end it with Lin. She's right, isn't she? I'm with him for the wrong reasons and I'm trying to force something that just isn't there, aren't I?"

He saw the star shine again and sighed deeply. "That's what I thought…"

Train hadn't been with Number X for very long, but it was enough time for him to realize there just wasn't anything beyond shallow emotions and empty words. And after what happened with Creed tonight, he knew he wasn't committed enough to his relationship with Lin to try and stay faithful to the man.

"And it's better to put an end to it before it goes too far, right?"

He looked up at the star and saw nothing, but he had a feeling that didn't mean he was wrong. It meant that it had already gone too far. Lin told him he loved him almost every day and made sure to be around him as much as possible. Even tonight, it was difficult to get the man to let go of him so he could report back to Chronos like he was supposed to.

Train sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I've been preventing him from doing his job. I'm sure he hasn't told Sephiria about letting us see the documents which can only get him into trouble…"

The cat groaned and clutched his head tightly. "I should have never told him I'd commit to him. I did that so impulsively, and now I'm just going to hurt him. What the hell is wrong with me?!"

He saw a few stars around the one he was talking to twinkle as well, as if Saya was yelling at him to stop being so hard on himself. "That's easy for you to say, Saya. You never had to deal with breaking two people's hearts."

The stars all shined at once, as if telling Train to shut up again, making him laugh heartily and smile deeply. "Maybe you're right… I should cut myself some slack, right? Like Anastasia said."

"You may think you're the bad guy in all this because you are causing endless pain to two people you care deeply for, but I know you mean well. If anything, I feel worse for you than Creed or Lin combined."

Train removed his hand from his hair and placed them behind his head, beginning to feel a bit better with the two women he knew were trying to comfort him. "I think I know what I need to do about Lin… As much as it'll hurt, I know it's better than continuing to lead him on…"

Despite that, he knew he cared deeply for the man, more than he cared for most people. He just knew it wasn't love and until he could get the rest of his heart straight, he couldn't commit himself to something or someone so fully.

"Right now, you are trying to force yourself to move on. That is what's hurting everyone. You can't force yourself to heal. That takes time."

Anastasia's words floated in his head once more and he took a deep breath, already trying to work up the courage to have another difficult conversation with his lover. Maybe if he took some space from Lin, he would come to the conclusion that he wanted to make the commitment to Lin on his own without forcing himself to move on or being guilted into it. He thought maybe the old woman was right and he needed to give himself time to heal before he jumped into something he wasn't ready for.

And if that's the case, and I take a step back from my relationship with him then decide later I do actually want to be with him, maybe Lin would take me back…

One thing he didn't want was to lose the man completely. Even though Train didn't love him, he had grown quite fond of Lin and enjoyed his company enough that he didn't want him to be out of his life fully. Similar to Creed, the idea of losing Lin hurt, but not on the same level as losing Creed did.

That thought inspired him to ask another question to the sky he hoped Saya rested in. "Okay, so I know what to do about Lin now and I can only hope he'll still want to be in my life after that, but… What about Creed?"

The stars suddenly went dull when he asked that question, as if they weren't sure either. Train groaned loudly and rolled over on his side. "Great, so you go quiet when I talk about Creed? What does that mean?"

He glanced back at the stars, his heart beating anxiously as he asked his question again. "Saya… What do I do about Creed?"

"The heart wants what it wants. You can't control his and you can't control your own."

"My heart does not want him again."

"And I think that statement is partially true."

He growled as the old woman's voice entered his head again. "This is all her fault anyway…"

Anastasia had been the one to put the thought in his head that he might actually find his happiness with Creed which is what led him to kiss the man tonight and bring that kiss further than it needed to go. If he hadn't had that conversation with her, he might have never kissed Creed nor come to the conclusion tonight that he needed to at least temporarily end his relationship with Lin.

That's not fair. No one forced me to kiss Creed. Not even Creed. I made that choice on my own. All Anastasia did was make me see more what was in my heart.

Train knew the moment his lips met Creed's that there were still residual feelings in his heart for the man. Those few minutes he spent in Creed's bed were also more pleasurable than all the times he had slept with Lin, and he was beginning to understand why.

Because Creed and I share something that can't be recreated with anyone else… I don't know what it is, but I know it's specific to him and there's nothing I can do to change that.

"So… What do I do?" He looked back at the stars, his eyes desperate as he spoke. "What do I do, Saya? How could I possibly still want to be the man that killed you? How could I possibly still… love him?"

He was hoping the bluntness of his question would be enough to bring a response out of the star. Instead, he was greeted with the same dullness, which led him to believe he was right and shouldn't be with Creed again. As if just the mere mention of being with the swordsman again was so disrespectful to her memory that Saya shut down and refused to talk to him.

I was right. I can never be with him again. I can never love him again. I need to keep trusting my gut. Being with Creed in any romantic capacity is wrong.

The stillness of the sky confirmed his thoughts and he nodded. "You're right, Saya. I'm sorry for even suggesting it. I'll get over him on my own. I need to be alone while I move on. And maybe during that time, I will learn to care for Lin the way he cares for me and we can be together again."

He watched the star remain dull and frowned. "Is… Is that not right either?"

Again, nothing happened and he sighed in frustration. "What do you want from me, Saya? Should I stay with Lin?"

He looked at the stars and saw nothing, then decided to repeat his question about Creed again. "Should I… Go back to Creed…?"

Again, nothing which made the Black Cat growl angrily as he stood up quickly. "Alright, fine. I'll figure it out later. I guess you're not in the talking mood tonight."

Just as Train was about to jump off the roof, his ears perked up when he heard a familiar song.

"Let's sing the world's song
How far shall we go…"

Train recognized the voice, but was shocked he was able to hear it from where he was. He jumped off the roof quickly, landing on the ground that was in front of the window that led to Creed's room. The cat noticed it was opened slightly and he peeked in to see Creed smiling peacefully in his sleep as his lips seemed to take on a life of their own.

"Looking up in the sky
A baby's first cry."

Moving fast, Train ran back into the house and back down the hall to Creed's room, hearing the silver man's light alto voice continuing Saya's song.

"The beating of an insect's wings
Lightly, lightly, floating."

Train entered the room quietly, not sure if the man was still sleeping and worried he might wake up. He approached the bed slowly, glancing at Creed's eyes and noticed they were still closed as he smiled blissfully, finishing the song as he rolled over towards Train, but never opening his eyes.

"Carry our feelings..."

Train remained frozen a few feet away from Creed's bed, not sure what he should do. After a few minutes, he heard the man go back to his loving whispers of Train, proving to the cat that he was indeed asleep. Train took another step forward, then another until he was next to the bed. He knelt down on the ground, watching as his ex-partner slept, his smile facing Train as he whispered the Black Cat's name over and over again.

"You really are weird…" Creed's voice whispered as he pressed the side of his face deeper into the pillow he rested on.

Train felt his heart stop when Creed said that. It was something Saya used to say to him all the time. It was pretty much her way of greeting and saying goodbye to him.

The cat smiled slightly and rested his chin on the edge of Creed's bed. "You're one to talk…"

Creed responded again, almost as if he was awake and having a conversation with Train. "Who wants to be normal anyway?"

Train chuckled. "Normal is so boring…" He frowned as he eyed the sleeping man, not sure if this was really happening, or if he was still feeling the effects of the wine. "Saya… What does this mean?"

How did I even hear him singing from the roof? It sounded as clear as if he was standing right next to me…

When Creed went back to his adoring words around Train, the cat sighed and reached a hand out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ex-lover's ear. Creed nuzzled his head into Train's hand, purring sweetly as he sighed peacefully at the Black Cat's touch.

"I love you, Train…"

Train permitted the man a few more seconds of snuggling his hand before he stood and walked over to the window to shut and lock it. He turned around and watched Creed for a few more seconds before he left the room again. This time he moved a little quicker, knowing he had to get out of there before he decided to accept the man's request to spend the night in his bed. Train moved down the hall and to his room quickly, shutting his own door behind him as he suddenly realized how warm his body was.

Train looked down at his hands and noticed they were sparking slightly, frowning when he realized he couldn't remember activating his ability. The cat sighed and walked over to his bed, pulling the blankets back as he collapsed on top of his mattress. He hoped he would dream of his deceased friend tonight, since he believed she was trying to speak to him through Creed, but he still didn't understand.

What did that mean? Was that really Saya trying to send me a message, or Creed just speaking nonsense in his sleep again?

He had never heard Creed sing in his sleep before, which made him all the more skeptical as to what just happened. Train had also made it very clear to Creed to never play that song on the piano again, which made him curious as to why the man would suddenly decide to sing it in his sleep. Creed would never disobey his request, no matter if he was wide awake or fast asleep.

And no matter how absurd it might be. He never questions me and always does whatever I say. This makes no sense...

Train took in a deep breath and shut his eyes, allowing his body to fall into one of the most stressful sleeps he had ever had.

---

Translations:

(1) "Assuming Sergey can concentrate, yes."

(2) "With Creed behind the piano, I wouldn't expect anything less than perfection."

(3) "Why must you hurt me with your words, love?"

(4) "We both know you're not as nearly hurt as you pretend to be."

(5) "I know how terrible heartache can be…"

(6) "Me too…"

(7) "Beautiful. You've stolen my heart which means no other thief has a chance."

(8) "Do you need the police? I wouldn't expect someone as formidable as you to be embezzled so easily."

(9) "I only have eyes for you."

AN: I had red velvet as Creed's favorite cake in my other fic as well mostly because I feel like that's what he would actually enjoy.