A Different Fate

by Musal

What if Train didn't know Creed killed Saya? What if he believed it was Chronos? What if Train helped Creed create the Apostles to get revenge on Chronos? What happens when Train learns the truth? CxT

29. Adrift Happiness

Disclaimer: I do not own Black Cat or its characters.

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Creed stood at the large windows in the dining area that overlooked the garden. He was currently staring at Train, who was walking through the flowers, seeking out a specific spot that Creed was far too happy to see his beloved spending time in again. However, there was a part of him that knew his cat was searching for these flowers partially due to boredom. They had been at the mansion for a week and a half, and he could tell his beloved was starting to get antsy. It wasn't just him either, Anatasia kept asking when she could re-open her school and even Sven and Rinslet were trying to find excuses to leave.

However, Lin and Jenos have been doing their jobs and making sure they stay in one place. They've been walking a fine line of not ordering us to stay, but making sure we all remember their orders were to follow us wherever we go. And that seems to have been enough to convince everyone to stay.

It seemed like they all silently agreed if they were going to be stuck with each other in one place for a while, they may as well stay somewhere that was big enough they could all have their space whenever necessary. That fact, added to the knowledge that they couldn't make money on any sweeps, made the decision to stay easier. At least in the castle, they didn't have to worry about paying rent or hotel fees and there was enough food to last them years. Right now, they had all the comforts in the world without having to worry about where their next meal or paycheck was going to come from

However, that seems to have not worked well with my Kitten and Anastasia. Train is starting to crawl up the walls and I swear Anastasia has tried to sneak out a couple of times.

Creed giggled at that thought. His love and his teachers were actually quite similar. They both hated sitting still, being told what to do, or not being in control of the situation and right now, they were currently experiencing all three of those scenarios. Luckily, Anastasia's music studio had been paid off years ago, so she didn't have to worry about money either, but that didn't help her restlessness. Creed knew if they didn't get the okay from Chronos to move soon, there wasn't going to be anything keeping her or Train in one place.

Belze has stopped by a few times since we've been here, but he hasn't given us really much of an update. He's mostly just been asking if there have been any signs from the Apostles since it sounds like they fell even more into obscurity after Doctor's little blunder. They even stopped putting out propaganda videos which concerned Sephiria. It concerns me as well…

Creed's worry stemmed from believing the Apostles' silence was due to Charden coming up with a new plan. The swordsman was sure this was true, since it wasn't like Charden to pull the plug on their Apostle hype videos. That idea was also something Creed made sure to tell Belze every time he was there, since Number II had a one-on-one conversation with him every visit he made. Occasionally, Creed would think of something he forgot to mention to Sephiria and would pass the message along to her through her second in command, but mostly the silverette was just adding in his two cents of what he believed their plan might be. And Creed knew Belze could be trusted with any sensitive information, especially if he knew it was going to benefit Chronos.

Or even just benefit Sephiria. There is certainly something brewing between them… Or it's already happened.

His thoughts of his previous superiors' relationship status caused him to think of his own with his beloved, whom he was still watching. Train was kneeling next to the flowers he used to give Creed, which set the swordman's heart on ablaze and plastered a foolishly jubilant smile on his face. Yes, his cat was with the stallion flowers somewhat due to boredom, but his love had been spending more and more time in the garden and today was the first time Train didn't bother covering up that he was looking at those flowers specifically. Previous days, he would make a point to walk around the garden, as if he was just looking at the variety of flowers and just happened to fall upon the forgotten perennials.

He may be able to hide his true intentions with everyone else, he can't with me. My eyes are always on him and I know him too well.

Creed had also been spending almost every waking second with his beloved. With Train's relationship with Lin over, his cat had been free to do as he pleased and be with anyone in the mansion he chose. And it just so happened that he wanted to spend most of his time with Creed. While it bothered Lin to no end and Creed caught him sneaking up on them or watching them secretly, the swordsman had been almost as happy as he was when he and Train were lovers.

I think being back at one of our Apostles hide-outs has made my Kitten a bit nostalgic. That might also be why he's been starting to show an interest in those flowers again.

Creed also thought that might have been one of the reasons Train was hanging out with him so much. It was clear that his cat wanted to be around him since the gunman was the one to often seek him out. While Creed was always looking for Train and dying to be around him, he had learned over the last year to give his Kitten space. But now, it seemed like Train wanted nothing more than to be near him. Whenever he was even given the opportunity to spend time with someone else, Train continuously and consistently chose to be with Creed.

Not to mention the times we are together have become a bit intimate. Nothing compared to my birthday or even the night after on the roof, but he is certainly being more affectionate and cuddly.

He had a feeling Train wasn't doing it on purpose. Usually when his love realized what was happening, he would change their position almost immediately and even try to move away from Creed. And the silver man was rarely the one to initiate and snuggling or romantic contact because he was still trying to make sure Train had his space and they went at his pace. However, he was never going to turn down any light his Kitten chose to shine on him and he was always going to assure his beloved that he enjoyed it. There had even been a point when they were watching television together and Train fell asleep with his head in Creed's lap. That happened once before when they were running the Apostles together before they were together and made Creed implausibly joyous and hopeful.

My acceptance and understanding of his freudian slips sometimes makes it worse, but sometimes better. I think he's relieved to see it doesn't hurt me when he pushes himself away, but he also gets frustrated with himself for falling back into old habits and acting like we're still a couple.

Creed was starting to see more and more that, deep down, Train really did want to be with him again and was struggling with that idea. He had a feeling his cat didn't admit it to himself yet, but Train had been having more and more conversations with Anastasia that Creed was sure was about him. While he knew Anastasia might be biased because she wanted Creed to be happy, the swordsman also began to realize that she would never force someone to do something they didn't want to and that included Train.

Which is one of the reasons I'm sure she talked to him about ending it with Lin. She could probably tell just from their first conversation Train didn't want to be with him. Everyone could see that, even Lin. He was just being selfish and found a way to convince my Kitten to give him what he wanted.

That still bothered Creed substantially. It reminded him of how he acted when he was lying to Train and tried to force his love to stay with him when he didn't want to. Train hated being controlled or feeling like he had no choice in what he did with his life and Lin had been subtly governing him almost since the day they met. Creed never wanted to say anything because his feelings for the Black Cat made him a partisan onlooker, but he felt like Train was being held hostage in his relationship with the number. It was true his beloved could have said no, but he did on multiple occasions and Lin never let up in his advances and Train didn't want to hurt him.

At least when Train didn't love me while we were in Chronos or starting the Apostles, I didn't force anything on him. I gave him space and time to fall in love with me on his own. Lin pretty much forced Train to be with him. Their first date was even Lin's way of getting something he wanted from Train by withholding information he knew my Kitten wanted.

Creed felt alleviated that his love was free now, but he knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. Lin was still ordered to follow them and even stay in the same mansion as them which made it impossible for Train to avoid him completely. Train wanted Lin in his life, but maybe not to the extent that he still was. He ended up making sure to learn Number X's normal daily routine and worked around it. Train made sure to eat when Lin was busy doing something else and Creed was always there with him. Creed was able to act as a buffer for the two of them, since it was pretty clear Lin didn't want anything to do with the swordsman.

Which is ironic because I'm pretty sure I'm still part of his mission. However, I think after working with Sephiria, he's beginning to trust me more and Lin might be pulled out soon. It's complicated now because we're obviously targets for the Apostles, but at least I'm less of a priority for them now.

That didn't stop Lin from trying to interrupt them every second he could. When he and Train were sitting on the couch talking, trying to enjoy a meal together, or even alone on the roof, Lin always found a way to come between them. He was worse than Kyoko since at least with the girl, they could be a bit harsher to make her leave, but with Lin, Train still felt terrible about breaking his heart, so he was always more cordial to the number.

Sergey has also started to be more of a distraction for Lin. While he's still bothering me more than I would like, at least he's able to occupy some of Lin's time.

As if the man heard his thoughts, Creed felt two arms wrap around his waist and a blonde head rested gently on his shoulder. Creed growled a little and pushed himself out of Sergey's arms and closer to the window, making sure he still had full view of his beloved who seemed to be delicately touching the chrysanthemums.

Without turning around or losing sight of his cat in the garden, Creed addressed the man that just tried to sneak attack him. "At least give me a warning next time."

Sergey giggled and moved to stand next to Creed, frowning as the silver man slapped his hand away from his waist. "Whenever you know I'm coming, I don't get a chance to touch you."

Creed rolled his eyes, but did not move them from Train. "Because I don't want you to. When are you going to get that through your thick head?"

Sergey chuckled and reached out to run his hand through Creed's hair. "Never."

Creed scowled at him and smacked the man's hand away again. "I'm starting to feel like a broken record with you. Should I just record my voice saying 'no' and hit play every time you walk by?"

Sergey sighed sadly. "And I'm starting to feel like an incompetent repairman. The recording won't work. When will you realize how I actually feel about you?"

Creed bit his lip to stop himself from saying something too rude. "It's not that I don't acknowledge it, I'm just never going to entertain it. I know where my heart lies, as do you. I'm not going to give you any green lights because I know you'll only get hurt in the end."

Sergey gave the silverette a sullen look "Hurting someone didn't stop him from being with Lin. That man is crushed."

Creed let out an annoyed puff of air and took another step towards the window so he could still see his Kitten as he moved to another part of the stallion flowers. "Train did not love me when he started dating Lin and Lin knew what he was getting into when their relationship started. He did nothing wrong."

"That's what Lin says too…" Sergey frowned as he spoke. "That doesn't change that Train didn't have strong feelings for him. From what Lin's told me, it sounds like Train didn't have any romantic feelings for him when they went on their first date. If you ask me for my opinion, I think that's really messed up on your beloved's part."

Creed glared at the man from the corner of his eyes. "Then it's a good thing I didn't ask for it. Did Lin tell you that Train turned him down several times before finally saying yes? Or the circumstances in which Lin trapped him into going on that date with him?"

Sergey heard the angry tone in his crush's tone of voice and decided he should backpedal a little. "He told me everything and I can see how you could blame Lin and even why Lin blames himself. He's said over and over again how he pretty much forced Train to be with him, but let's be clear about one thing: Lin does not blame Train at all, so neither you nor your precious cat needs to worry about that. But, Lin is still madly in love with Train. He'll never say anything bad about him, no matter how much I try to get him to."

"Why are you trying to get him to say something bad about Lin?" Creed looked Sergey up and down suspiciously as he spoke.

Sergey shrugged his shoulders. "Because that usually helps a broken heart. When you look at the negatives of a person you love so utterly, but cannot be with, it makes it easier to move on and get over your feelings. I just don't enjoy seeing him as hurt as he is."

Creed smiled knowingly. "You sure are spending a lot of time with him…"

Sergey smirked down at him. "Are you jealous?"

Creed scoffed and turned his eyes back to his Kitten. "Never. I'm just happy you're able to keep him busy so I can have Train to myself."

Sergey frowned again then followed his crush's gaze to the Black Cat. "Of course you're looking at him…"

Creed smiled peacefully. "I'm always looking at him… He's all I've ever seen in the past and all I'll ever see in the future."

Sergey glared out the window at Train. "Couldn't help but notice you two are getting chummy again… Lin has noticed as well."

Creed sighed blissfully as he watched his love pick up the watering can he brought with him outside and pour it on the flowers. "I'm not forcing Train to do anything, unlike Lin. He's choosing to spend time with me."

"Yeah, and taking up all your time giving no one else a chance…" Sergey sounded bitter as he spoke.

Creed rolled his eyes again. "We've been over this a thousand times. You, nor anyone else, will ever have a chance with me. Unless you or someone else suddenly turns into Train, I'm unavailable to anyone else for eternity and beyond."

Sergey pouted dolefully. "I know… At least Lin is fun to be around."

Creed cocked an eyebrow at him. "So… Things have progressed?" Seeing Sergey beginning to get excited at him possibly being envious, Creed put up a hand to stop him. "Don't get aroused, as I stated before, I'm happy you're able to entertain him and keep him out of my Kitten's hair. At least enough to help him move on from Train."

Sergey couldn't help the agitated growl he made at the constant reminders Creed seemed insistent on making about his inaccessible heart. "I'm not stupid. I'm a rebound for Lin. A vessel in which he puts his unrequited emotions for Train into. And, I'm fine with it. Like I said before, he's fun, but I don't see this moving on from anything beyond sexual."

Creed smiled at him. "Do you want it to?"

Sergey gave him another gloomy look. "That's an unfair question to ask when you know how I feel about you…"

Creed looked back to his beloved, making sure to ignore the Russian man's puppy dog eyes. "Well, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into. Lin said he knew and told Train his heart was his own responsibility, but now Train is taking liability for Lin's pain along with his own."

Sergey frowned out the window. "He's hurt about the relationship ending?"

Creed shrugged his shoulders faintly. "He's not really upset that it's over, nor does he seem to miss being with Lin, but Train has a kind heart. He's upset that he hurt Lin. He blames himself and even though I keep reminding him that he was very open with Lin from the start and told him everything he was feeling, that doesn't help. Train doesn't like hurting anyone."

Sergey narrowed his eyes at the cat out the window upon hearing the loving tone behind Creed's words. "Has he really told Lin… everything?"

Creed felt himself blush a little, but managed to shake himself of the embarrassment before Sergey noticed. "What else would Train have to hide?"

Sergey gave Creed a knowing look, then glowered at the cat out the window. "Like I said before, you Train have been spending a lot of time together… Often alone…"

Creed didn't speak, simply continued looking out at his beloved, trying to hide what his face was showing as the Russian man stared out the window with him. He had a feeling Lin figured out what he and Train did a week and a half ago, but Sergey's words were beginning to confirm that and he didn't want to betray his love's trust and give away the fact that he slept with Train again.

"I also couldn't help but notice you've seemed far more relaxed lately… As if you were finally able to… get something out, so to speak?" Sergey's voice was both lewd and jealous as he addressed Creed, but he was trying to hint that he knew what his crush had done with the cat.

Creed turned his head away from the tall man, but kept his eyes out the window as he spoke with a shaky voice. "O-Oh? Guess it's just the break from working and being able to spend time with Train again…"

He knew his voice wasn't convincing, but he had to at least try and cover up what he and his beloved did. It was hard to do since he wanted nothing more than to shout it from the root tops and tell every stranger he met on the street. The only thing that stopped that was the fact they couldn't leave the mansion and Train made him promise not to say anything to anyone.

Train said he didn't want anyone to know and if Sergey looks at me, I know my face will give it away… But it seems like he and Lin might have already figured it out.

Sergey smiled. "You're so cute." He waved the man's worries away and looked out the window as well. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I don't need to see your face to know you slept with Train again. Lin's figured it out too, but, as you said, I've been keeping him busy for you."

Creed turned to give him a confused look. "For me?"

Sergey nodded and caressed Creed's cheek lightly. "I've been able to tell Train is starting to come around to you again and I know if Lin is out of the picture, you might actually have a chance with him again."

Creed pushed his hand away more gently than he usually did. "Why would you do that? Aren't you resentful of Train and my feelings for him?"

The Russian man sighed and pulled his hand away, glancing out the window at the Black Cat. "Yes, I am. However, I know how much you love him and deep down, I know I'll never have a chance with you. As much as it pains me to admit it, the only one who can truly give you what you want is Train. And if there's anything I can do to help you win him back… I'll do it."

Creed frowned at the man, scanning his face for any signs of insincerity, but saw none. "Really? No tricks?"

Sergey smiled warmly at him. "No tricks. As I said before, I'm not stupid. I know true love when I see it, and what you feel for him goes beyond that. I was skeptical of it before I met him, but I've never seen anyone love someone that profoundly and wholly before. He's your world and it's ludicrous of me to believe I could ever come between what you both have."

Creed blinked, shocked at the man's kindness towards his beloved, but confused at something he said. "What do you mean what 'we both have'?"

Sergey chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Anyone with two eyes can see he's still crazy about you. The chemistry and sexual tension between you is palpable and iriating. I don't know why he doesn't just go for it again. He knows you'll say yes."

Creed sighed sadly and looked back out the window at his beloved. "He… has his reasons. And good reasons." Seeing the stubborn look on the other man's face, he continued. "I'm not comfortable saying what that reason is. Just know that I hurt him more than anyone could ever hurt another person and he has all the reason in the world to never trust me, love, or be with me again."

Sergey frowned deeply at him. "Even worse than how he hurt you or Lin?"

Creed nodded. "What I did to him isn't even comparable to what he inadvertently did to either of us. I… ruined him for love and relationships. You could even say I'm to blame for the erroneous relationship he had with Lin. What I did to him messed him up awfully… And I'm worried he'll never be able to have a normal relationship again because of it…"

Sergey sighed, deciding to tread lightly since he had never been able to talk to the man for this long without him getting angry at him. "That bad, huh?"

Creed let out a long, regretful breath of air. "Yes… Trust me. What I did to Train is unforgivable. The fact that he even took me in even after what I did is only proof of what a caring, kind man he is."

Sergey didn't want to push, but really wanted to know what it was. "Does Lin know what happened between you two?"

Creed nodded at him hesitantly. "Yes… But he won't tell you. He knows Train will be mad at him if he does."

Sergey exhaled in frustration. "Fine, I'll stop pushing. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or put you in a bad position with your beloved."

Creed smiled gratefully and kept his eyes on his Kitten. "Why are you… I don't know what the right word to use here is, so forgive me if this comes off as rude, but… why are you being so… wholesome?"

Sergey laughed and patted his shoulder in a platonic way, which made Creed feel like he didn't have to smack him away. "Like I said before, I just want you to be happy and seeing you with Train I can see how happy he makes you. Over a week ago, I thought I could give you whatever he could, but now that I see the two of you together, it's clear that I could never make you as happy as he does."

Creed looked up at him and smiled hopefully. "Does that mean you'll give me space?"

Sergey laughed loudly and pinched his cheek. "Never! On the off chance that I'm wrong, I am going to always make sure you know I'm ready if you ever are."

Creed pouted at him and massaged the spot he pinched. "But you just admitted you know I'm a lost cause."

Sergey shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, but like I said, on the chance that I'm wrong, I want to make sure I don't miss my opportunity. I'd never forgive myself if I ever passed up a chance to be with you."

Creed sighed and turned back to the window, frowning when he realized Train was no longer there. "If you understand how much I love Train and want me to be happy, why do you keep speaking so illy of him?"

Sergey frowned and took a step closer to his crush. "Because I still can't help feeling jealous of him. He was able to get two very beautiful men to fall madly in love with him without even trying. While I can see his charm and obvious attractiveness, I don't think it's fair that every eligible, gorgeous man falls completely head over heels for him. Well, except for me, that is. However, I can't help but think that's mostly because I met and fell for you first."

Creed gave the man a confused look. "Come again?"

Sergey smirked knowingly at him and moved a little closer. "Which part confused you? The part where I might have gone after you're beloved if I hadn't met you first or the part where I fell for you?"

Creed sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Both I guess… Then again, I don't want to know about either."

Sergey chuckled as he moved a bit closer to the shorter man. "Are you concerned if I didn't meet you first I might have made a move on your love and you'd have to compete against me instead of Lin?"

Creed was still rubbing his face so he did not see how close the other man was to him. "No, but that doesn't mean I want to think about it. In fact, I'm done with his conversation. It started off bad, then turned into something actually worthwhile and cordial, but now it's just gone back to impossible. Besides, I'd like to help Train in the garden."

If he's still there that is. Where did my beloved go?

Just as he was about to walk away, he felt Sergey wrap his arm around his waist and pulled him against his chest. Before Creed could push him away, the Russian man managed to get in a quick kiss, smiling down triumphantly at him.

"I'd never get in between you and your beloved. That doesn't mean I'm not going to at least try to woo you."

Creed glared at the man and was about to give him an earful when he heard a strangled noise coming from behind them. The silver man looked over the blonde man's shoulder and widened his eyes when he saw Train standing there with a very confused look on his face. Creed felt his heart break when he saw the hurt behind his love's confusion and whimpered when he saw the hint of blue sparks that flashed quickly in his normally bright, amber eyes.

Train tried to speak calmly, but knew he was failing miserably. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I-I just came to get a glass of milk." He turned around so he could begin to walk out of the room. "I-I'll come back later…"

"No, Train, wait!" Creed pushed out of Sergey's arms and started to walk towards his beloved.

Before Creed could say or do anything more, Sergey already reacted and approached the cat far quicker than the silver man did. He grabbed the cat's shoulder, turned him around and pushed him towards Creed.

"You didn't interrupt anything and you should already know Creed only has eyes for you. No need to get jealous or draw any incorrect conclusions." Sergey winked down at the gunman as he let him go and walked back towards the door. "I'm just being overly handsy with our handsome pianist again. But, I'll make sure to at least try to contain myself around your man."

Train was about to protest what Sergey just said, but he waved and left before he could. Hearing Creed giggle, the cat turned around and gave his friend a slightly agitated look.

"What were you guys talking about…?"

Creed smiled and patted his love's cheek. "Same thing I always talk about, Train…"

Train blushed wildly, but did not move or push his ex-lover again. "Of course you are…" He looked over his shoulder in the direction the Russian man had gone through. "He didn't look nearly as upset as I thought he would at you talking about me."

Creed shrugged his shoulders and regretfully stepped away from his beloved and towards double doors that lead to the kitchen. "He's full of surprises. You said you wanted milk, right?"

Train frowned at the direction Sergey went, then followed after Creed. "Always."

Creed chuckled again as he looked over his shoulder at his beloved. "I knew you would. I already poured you a glass. It's in the fridge."

Train blushed and rolled his eyes. "You always seem to have something ready for me."

Creed nodded. "Of course, Train. You know me."

Train couldn't help but chuckle as he jumped onto the counter and watched as Creed retrieved his milk for him. "The garden has seemed to be getting better since we've been here."

Creed nodded and turned to face his love, walking over to him to give him the glass. "Of course it has been. I've been tending to them again." He sulked as he glanced out the window behind his love. "They're not perfect yet. They only just started coming back to life the last few days."

Train nodded and took a sip of milk. "What… Are your plans with them…?"

Creed smiled wittingly at his beloved. Train had been asking him periodically how the roses were doing and even caught his Kitten searching his room every so often for them. The silver man knew his love didn't want to say anything, but Creed could tell he was moderately hoping to start receiving them again.

Don't worry, my love, you'll be getting them again soon enough.

Creed leaned on the counter next to his Kitten. "Right now, nothing. They're still mostly dead. I can't do anything with them until they come back to life."

And I won't give you anything short of perfection, Kitten.

Train nodded his head, but seemed a bit disappointed. "Guess it's a nice way to pass the time…"

Creed smiled adoringly at his beloved. "Is that why you've started tending to the chrysanthemums again?"

Train blushed and gave the silver man an annoyed look. "Were you watching me?"

Creed giggled and patted his love's knee. "You know I always am."

Train knew his face was still red, but managed to nod and respond calmly to his ex-partner. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised."

Creed watched his cat for a second, before clearing his throat and gesturing for his love to answer his question. Seeing Train didn't understand, Creed giggled adoringly again. "Well? What were you doing near the chrysanthemums, Train?"

Train blinked at Creed's insightful smile, then tried to cover the embarrassment on his face with his hand. "I-I've just been bored. Like I said earlier, it's a nice way to pass the time."

Creed nodded and leaned his cheek on his head as he continued gazing lovingly at his Kitten. "I'm glad you've found something that is able to occupy yourself enough to not break out of here."

As soon as he said those words out loud, he regretted it. He could tell by the look on Train's face that he made a mistake and immediately began to apologize. "I-I'm sorry, Train… I didn't mean to bring that up. I-"

"-Do you remember that fight we had in the kitchen? Before I left?" Train's voice was distant as he spoke, looking down at the glass of milk he held. "You gave me milk then too…"

Creed frowned and fought back tears as he nodded at beloved. "How could I ever forget that night, Train…"

Train fingered the edge of his glass, keeping his eyes on it as he spoke. "What you said… About Saya… About sweepers… I've been thinking about it a lot this last year…"

Creed whined as he gripped his love's knee gently. "Train… I didn't mean it… I was speaking impulsively and angrily. I… I wasn't myself back then. Well, I mean I was, but I was different back then. I-"

"-I know, Creed, you don't need to explain. I've seen how much you've changed since then. And it's been over a year at this point." Train sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, the anxiety in his chest rising as he spoke. "That's besides the point. I've been wondering…"

Creed saw this was hard for his Kitten to ask and leaned a little closer so he could see his love's eyes. "Yes, Train?"

Train took a deep breath and asked his question. "Are you… Happy being a sweeper, Creed?"

Creed blinked at his beloved, confused at his simple question. "What?"

Train sighed and glanced at Creed quickly, then looked away. "I mean… You just sounded like you hated sweepers so much back then. It's… It's hard to believe you're happy being something you once hated so much."

Creed tilted his head in confusion. "Of course I'm happy, Train. Why wouldn't I be?"

Train frowned and finally looked down at the man. "I know you weren't thinking clearly when you said that back then, but… I've just had a hard time shaking myself of the thought that I was forcing you to do something you didn't want to."

Creed smiled warmly at his Kitten and rubbed his knee with his thumb. "I truly am happy, Train. Not only do I get to be with you every day again, but I love the freedom we have. We get to travel whenever we want and go anywhere we want."

Train still wasn't entirely convinced and pushed a little further. "But, it's not like we're comfortable. When we were here, we didn't have to fret about money and now it's almost all we ever worry about. Back then, everything was easily given to us and now we struggle to keep food on the table."

Creed sighed at his love and continued rubbing his leg. "Yes, but we weren't safe then. Also, I'm sure I don't need to remind you that money and these mansions did not come necessarily free or easily, nor were they rightfully won."

Train winced a little at his words and nodded. "I understand that. But we aren't safe now either. And since when did you care about the law?"

Creed chuckled. "Well, outside of the Apostles, the kind of danger that we're in with sweeps is more… playful. It's a fun kind of trouble and it's an entertaining way to earn money. It's way better than being at Chronos and being paid to kill people. Or being at the Apostles and having to steal everything. I'm happy we're able to earn everything we have."

Train smiled at his friend, which turned into a chuckle, then an all out bit of laughter as he stared at Creed's confused face. The silverette frowned and cocked an eyebrow at his beloved, the tone of his voice making it clear how bewildered he was at Train's reaction.

"What's so funny?"

Train slowed his breath down and wiped the tears from his eyes before he answered his ex-partner's question. "It's just odd hearing you say you enjoy the fact that we earn money now, especially knowing the way we earn it is sweeping. It's also weird hearing you say you wouldn't enjoy killing people for money either." He gave his friend a cheeky smile. "It's… refreshing to hear you say you enjoy earning your way through life."

Creed returned his love's smile. "I've definitely become calmer…"

"You seem…calmer."

Train blinked at his friend, then looked behind him. For a quick second, he could have sworn he saw Saya balancing a bottle cap on her finger, then winking playful at him before she vanished without a trace. Creed seemed to notice he was looking behind him and turned around quickly, addressing his Kitten without looking at him.

"You see a ghost, Train?"

Train shook his head and chuckled at his friend. "Don't worry about it. I'm happy to hear that you enjoy what we do."

Creed turned back to his cat and smiled cheerfully at him. "I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't happy."

Train rubbed his eyes and placed his glass on the counter behind him. "That means nothing since I know you would do anything I asked you to. You'd put yourself through torture for me."

Creed smiled and nodded. "I have put myself through torture for you, Train. And I'm not talking about the six months we spent apart."

Train gave his ex-lover a shocked look. "Wh-what?"

Creed continued to rub Train's knee as he spoke, delighted his love seemed to be enjoying his gentle caresses enough not to make him stop. "Don't worry, Train, it wasn't anything too bad. I found out one of our targets had a trap set up for us so I went ahead and got myself caught on purpose. I knew what I was getting myself into and I refused to let you get caught."

Train was shocked to hear this and let it be heard in his voice. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Creed giggled and moved his hand up to Train's thigh as he moved his body a little close to his Kitten. "I tried to. You don't listen, Train, you know that. After you wouldn't listen, I knew you would go running in recklessly and would potentially get caught. I couldn't let that happen so I made sure I ran ahead of you."

Something seemed to click in Train's head as he remembered the night in question. "I think I remember that… You disappeared for a day and I just assumed you were being punished by Chronos for running ahead of a number and trying to complete the mission without me."

Creed giggled and leaned his head slightly against Train's arm. "Well, now you know what really happened. It warms my heart to know you were at least aware I disappeared."

Train snickered a little. "It's hard to not notice when the person who's been stalking you for two years isn't around."

Creed pouted up at his love. "Stalking is such a harsh word. I prefer watching with loving, alert eyes."

Train rolled his eyes then frowned down at the man. "Was it… Was it that bad?"

"No." Creed said quickly to make sure his love wouldn't worry. "Just some electric shocks. I was able to break out fairly easily and dispose of them as we were ordered to do. I even made sure you received credit for it when I got back."

Train stared at the man in shock. "I'd ask why you did that, but I already know the answer I'm going to get." He sighed and leaned on his elbows on the counter, picking up his milk again and taking another sip as he pointed a stern finger at Creed. "Don't ever do that again."

Creed giggled at his love as he watched him drink his milk. "Worried about me?"

Train nodded. "If you're going out getting yourself tortured for me, then yes. At least promise that you'll never do that again."

Creed shook his head. "No promises." He sighed as he moved himself closer to Train, leaning his elbows against the counter as well so he could get a better look at his Kitten's face. "Are you… Okay being here, Train?"

Train raised an eyebrow at Creed as he finished his milk. "Being where?"

"I mean…" Creed took a deep breath and moved away a little so he could look his beloved in the eyes. "Being here. Back in one of our Apostle hideouts. I've… I've been worried this place has been bringing back bad memories and that…"

Train thought his sentence was done and decided to respond. "I mean… maybe a little… I've had a few moments where I felt like I needed to run the hell out of here as fast as I could but… I actually think it's been good for me."

Creed forgot about finishing his sentence and questioned his beloved instead. "How so?"

Train sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "It's like… Exposure therapy. While this isn't the mansion it happened in, it does remind me enough of it to bring back some traumatic memories. Except this time, I'm surrounded by friends and people who actually care about me. We're also here under completely different circumstances which helps give this place a different feel."

Creed frowned. "You know I cared about you..."

Train squinted at the man, then flicked his forehead. "That's not what I meant, Creed. What I mean is, even though we're here hiding out from the Apostles, it's sort of felt like we're on a mini vacation. No work, no worries about paying bills, or where the next meal will come from."

Creed nodded. "And the meals have been pretty good thanks to Dae."

Train laughed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she's a great cook. And it looks like Eve is learning from her."

Creed his beloved in his mirthful clamor. "I guess that means we'll have more delicious food to look forward to in the future." He smiled warmly at his love. "I think maybe I'll get a few lessons from her as well."

Train gave him a baffled stare. "You're cooking is great. What makes you think you need lessons?"

Creed sighed happily at his cat. "You flatter me, Train, but I can always improve my skills."

Train rolled his eyes. "Why do I think this has something to do with wooing me again?"

Creed giggled and pinched his love's nose playfully. "Because everything I do is in some way connected to that."

Train chuckled and placed his empty glass down. "I can't stop you from doing that since I can't control your feelings after all."

Creed couldn't help but hear the bit of excitement in Train's voice and beamed fondly at his beloved. What he said reminded Creed of what else he wanted to ask Train and decided to try again. "To circle back our conversation a bit, I was also wondering if this mansion might be bringing out... Other emotions in you."

Train could hear the puzzlement in his voice and knew his eyes reflected that emotion. "What do you mean?"

Creed sighed, not sure how to ask his question without upsetting his beloved. "I mean… Well… I feel like you've been more… accepting of my affection lately and I… I couldn't help but notice…"

Train felt himself blush and tried to hide it by turning away from his ex-lover. "Notice what?"

Creed sighed again and trailed his finger along his love's leg lightly. "I've… I've noticed that you've also been a bit… More affectionate as well…"

Train knew his face was completely red and did his best to speak. "I-I… I-I don't know what you mean, Creed…"

Creed frowned at his love's unease and tried to make his voice sound gentle. "Usually you push me away once we reach a certain point, but I can't help and notice how much more… I don't know how else to put it, but… You've just been more… agreeable recently."

Train sighed. "I haven't let you back in my room again, Creed…"

Creed shook his head. "That's not what I mean, Train…"

There were a few times Creed ended up in Train's room after they spent some time on the roof, but his Kitten always made sure to make him leave before anything happened. That didn't mean there weren't times they were on the bed in somewhat snuggling positions, but it seemed like Train was more aware of how intimate the situation was when they were alone in his room. When they were on the couch or anywhere else in the mansion, his beloved seemed to forget how the location didn't matter when it came to romance.

Train frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sorry if I'm starting to lead you on, Creed. I don't mean to be…"

Creed smiled and leaned his head against Train's thigh. "I think it's like I said, Train. It's just the mansion. I think it's making you nostalgic. Don't worry, I know you don't love me."

Train felt his heart skip a beat when Creed said this and began sweating slightly. "I… I don't…"

Creed knew he put his love in an awkward position since he knew Train was still trying to figure out how he felt, but he couldn't help but feel overjoyed at the fact that his beloved didn't want to outright say he didn't love Creed anymore.

"Do you remember that time Eathes tried to cook his own dinner and almost burnt the mansion down?" Creed smiled up at his love as he spoke.

Train chuckled, beginning to forget his previous embarrassment and nodded. "Yeah, but I have to admit, that was my fault."

Creed scowled facetiously at him. "Train… What did you do?"

The Black Cat gave him a cheeky smile. "I convinced him that the cook was trying to poison him."

The silver man chuckled as he rolled his eyes. "Why did you do that?"

Train shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, boredom? But mostly because he was rude to the head chef and she was a kind woman. He had it coming."

Creed giggled as he moved a little closer to his love, nuzzling his head back into Train's thigh. "Agreed, but we all almost ended up paying for his inconsiderate attitude. You could have found another way to teach him a lesson."

Train threw his hands in the air. "How was I supposed to know he was going to almost burn the whole place down?! I may have been messing with his head, but his gullibility and incompetence is not my responsibility."

Creed shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "That's a fair point, I guess."

Train looked down at Creed, not having even an ounce of the urge to push the man off him. "We should do this more, Creed."

Creed raised his head and gave his beloved a curious look. "Do what?"

"This." Train gestured to the kitchen. "Talk about times we had here that were happy. I've been doing my best to remember the good moments, but sometimes it's hard. Especially when we're in places like this… Where one of our fights happened."

Creed frowned. "What about the garden? You've seemed to be okay going back there."

"Yeah, I think that's because we don't have any bad memories there. While I feel a bit wistful when I'm with the flowers, I don't have any bad thoughts." Train glanced out the window again as he spoke, smiling peacefully at the direction he knew the flowers he just watered were.

Creed saw his Kitten's tranquil smile and cuddled back into his thigh, resting his check on Train's leg so he could still see his love's face. "What about your room… That's where…"

"...I know, that's where I made the decision to leave. That's where we ended…" Train felt his heart break at the memory, taking in a deep breath to prevent himself from reliving it again. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've fallen asleep on the couch a few times."

Creed pouted at his love. "I noticed… But, I didn't think that was because of bad memories…"

Train nodded. "The… The nightmares came back…"

"Oh…" Creed said slowly. "I'm… Sorry, Train." He paused for a second as he watched his cat's eyes grow distant. "Do you want to switch rooms with someone?"

Train shook his head. "No. Like I said, I think I need the exposure therapy this place is forcing on me. It's teaching me not to be scared anymore. After all, I survived, did I?" He smiled down at his former partner, patting his head kindly as he spoke. "I'll be okay, Creed, don't worry. I actually am not even sure why I'm telling you all this."

Creed returned his beloved's smile. "You've been much more open with me since you ended it with Lin."

Creed had a feeling that was because Train felt more comfortable being open with him about his emotions, but he wasn't going to say that. After all, Train still hadn't been able to admit he still felt something for him. It was starting to become clear to everyone, even Sergey said he noticed it, but Train was still struggling and Creed wasn't about to make his love uncomfortable.

Train winced at the mention of his newest former lover and frowned down at Creed. "Can we… Not talk about him?"

Creed nodded and pulled away from his love so he could look him in the eye as he spoke. "Do you remember the time you were training with Maro and destroyed half of the room?"

Train laughed again at the fond memory. "To be clear, he destroyed the room."

Creed chuckled. "Does it really matter? You made such a mess that that half of the mansion nearly collapsed. We had to leave a perfectly good hide out because of your enmity with that man."

Train rolled his eyes and leaned back on his hands instead of his elbows. "Again, I refuse to take blame for that. It's not my fault he couldn't take a joke."

Creed giggled again as he began to caress his love's knee once more. "What about that time Shiki sent a swarm of spiders at you while we took a nap in the garden?"

Train shivered at the memory. "Oh, yeah. That's not a good memory."

Creed placed his other hand on Train's other knee and snickered as he positioned himself to stand in front of him. "He got a good scolding from me later that day, don't worry."

"I know…" Train said between chuckles. He suddenly realized what Creed was doing with his knees, but realized he didn't want to push him away. He found himself actually enjoying his ex-partner's touches. "What about when Kyoko made her way to the roof through my room and interrupted our afternoon?"

Creed growled as he moved a little close to his Kitten. "That happened a lot. Don't remind me…"

Train smirked at the man, his heart beating faster when he saw Creed was moving closer to him. "That was the first time you tried to kiss me, wasn't it?"

Creed blinked at his love. "You knew?"

Train shrugged his shoulders. "Not at the time, but I figured it out later. There were a few things you did that I later was able to work out what you were actually trying to do."

Creed sighed. "You're very clever, Train…"

Train swallowed when he saw Creed's lips now only inches from his own. "I have my moments…"

Creed smiled adoringly at his love, mere inches from Train's face as he spoke. "We had some good memories with those crazy Taoists, didn't we?"

Train smiled back at his ex-lover. "I don't think the Apostles are what made those memories fond."

Creed giggled a little, knowing what his beloved meant, but wanting to hear Train say it himself. He moved a little closer, leaning his hands on either side of the counter behind his cat. "Care to explain your logic?"

"I mean, each of those stories ended up with us supporting each other, being there for each other, or laughing with each other…" Train didn't realize how loving his smile was as he spoke, staring into the other man's eyes with a devoted look he was unaware he had.

Creed sighed quietly and inched even close to his beloved. "Sounds kind of like you miss it…"

Train tried to scoff, but his heart began racing even faster when he realized how close Creed was to him. Speaking of their past only made the heat in his chest worse and gave him the urge to take his ex-partner in his arms. "I don't miss running the Apostles or being with those physcos."

Creed giggled again as he moved his hands closer to his beloved. "I wasn't talking about them…"

Train's eyes widened a little when he realized what Creed meant and tried to look away, but found that impossible. He was completely lost in his ex-lover's concupiscent eyes and knew that he did not want to be found. In fact, he was elated to have vanished in Creed's cerulean, idolatrous orbs and hoped that there wasn't a search team being sent out for him. As he swam in the depths of the man's love for him, Train felt himself moving closer to Creed, shivers going up his spine when he felt the swordsman place his hands gently on his lower back.

Creed licked his lips when he saw Train wasn't pushing him away. In fact, quite the opposite was happening as he felt his love's hands slip behind his head and pull him a little closer. They sat there, staring into each other's eyes, feeling the heat of their breaths brushing intently off each other's lips, their hearts beating as one, waiting for one of them to make a move. After a few stressful, yet longing minutes passed between them, Creed leaned forward to press his lips against Train's, but his beloved looked away quickly, preventing the silver man from kissing him.

"I-I'm sorry…"

Creed sighed, his heart dropping quickly when he realized Train wasn't going to be kissing him. Instead of pressing his lips against his Kitten, Creed leaned forward and rested his forehead against Train's, breathing in the sweet scent of his beloved's soft skin, relishing the warmth and radiance his love's breath emitted. He wrapped his arms a little tighter around his cat, pulling him closer so their lips barely touched, but he could still feel Train's velvety skin brush against his own.

Just as I was about to make the move, he turns away. Sometimes my Kitten's uncertainty pains me… At least I still get to hold him like this.

He nuzzled his face further against Train's, cherishing the feel of his Kitten's lips lightly caressing his own. "It's okay, Train… I know this place is bringing back memories and feelings in you… Feeling that you wouldn't normally have for me…"

Train sighed and shook his head, tightening his hold a little on Creed as he nuzzled his head against the other man's. He looked deeply into the swordsman's eyes, his heart ready to explode at the steadfast look he was receiving and was beginning to realize he was staring at Creed with just as much fidelity.

"I… I don't know how true that is, Creed…" His voice was shaky and breathless as he spoke, his fingers slowly beginning to run through Creed's silver locks.

Creed moved his face slightly, nuzzling his nose against Train's cheek and sighed impatiently when he felt his beloved doing the same against his cheek. "Then… What is it, Train? What do you feel for me?" He pressed his face against Train's cheek gently, pulling his beloved a little closer to his chest. "What do you want from me?"

Train felt his whole body set on fire when Creed spoke, his heart beating so fast he knew he wasn't going to be able to control what he said for much longer. His body was beginning to do the talking for him as he felt goosebumps cover his skin and held Creed a little closer to his body.

"I… I want…"

They both heard a painful gasp at the door and looked over quickly to see Lin standing there, looking as if he had been stabbed in the heart. Neither Creed nor Train pulled away from each other as they gaped at the number's pained look, not sure what to do, but knowing they didn't want to let each other go. The number stared at them for a few seconds, tears forming in his eyes as he looked from Train to Creed, frozen to the spot as he tried to process what he was witnessing. After several more seconds, something seemed to click in Lin's mind and the number felt his heart shatter to pieces on the floor, then turned on his heels, leaving quickly.

"Lin..." Train whispered regretfully as he finally pushed Creed away and jumped off the counter. "Lin, wait!"

Train cursed at himself when he saw Number X did not enter through the doors again, and decided to leave the kitchen and follow him. Deep down, he knew he didn't owe the number an explanation, but that didn't stop him from feeling bad. He didn't want him to get the wrong idea about what he and Creed were just doing.

Then what is the right idea? How the hell are you going to explain to Lin that you almost kissed Creed a week and a half after breaking up with him?

He was grateful to see Creed was not following him, nor was he making a move to stop him. Creed seemed to know what his place was right now and knew his presence would only make the situation worse than it already was.

As Train ran out of the kitchen and followed Lin through the dining area and back into the common room, he was glad to see no one else was there to make. Finally, he managed to reach the shorter man and grabbed his shoulder tightly, spinning him around quickly.

"Lin, let me explain." He was out of breath as he spoke, his body shaking from the close contact he had with Creed, but also out of stress of talking to his ex-boyfriend about it.

Lin tried to smile at his Sweet Kitten, but knew he was failing miserably as he tried to stifle another sob. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Train. You… We aren't together anymore… You can do what you want with whoever you want…"

Train frowned and looked to the floor. "It wasn't what it looked like, Lin…"

Again, the number smiled, even though he knew Train would see right through it. "Like I said, you don't owe me anything. You can be with anyone you want." He glanced behind Train where he knew Creed was and whimpered sadly. "But… Why did it have to be him…?"

Train lifted his head to meet Lin's and sighed at the terribly pathetic look the number was giving him. "I'm not back with Creed."

Lin laughed bitterly and shook his head to stop himself from crying again. "It's only a matter of time… Everyone sees the way you look at him and we already know how he feels about you."

Train let Lin go, but did not step away from him. "...What are you talking about?"

Lin wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and took a deep breath in. "You really don't know what I'm talking about, Train?"

Train did not speak, but his silence spoke volumes which made Lin roll his eyes and sigh shakily as he tried to make his point to the man he loved. "You love him, Train. We all see it. It's as plain as the nose on your adorable face. You don't want to admit it, but you love Creed."

Train felt the color leave his face and his knees went weak. Before he collapsed on the floor, he managed to find a chair behind him and fell onto that, holding his head in his hands and he pulled at his hair in frustration.

"No… No, I can't… It's not right."

Lin smiled at his sweet love and knelt on the ground next to him. "It's true, Train. I… I think I knew it was true when you finally agreed to be with. That day… As much as I hated to admit it, you were only agreeing to be with me so you wouldn't go running back into Creed's arms. I was… an excuse."

Train looked up and glowered into Lin's sad eyes. "That's not the only reason…"

Lin rolled his eyes again, but couldn't help the small chuckle he let out. "Are you saying that you loved me?"

Train made a strange face, then shook his head regretfully and looked away from the number. "No…"

"Then why did you agree to be with me?" Lin already knew the answer, but he wanted to help Train see the truth. Despite how much it hurt him, he knew now what would make Train happy.

"Because…" Train felt his voice trail off because his thoughts could on longer make sense of what was going on inside of him.

"What happened just before you made love to me for the first time?" Lin's voice was quiet, readying himself for the pain he knew he was going to receive from the answer he knew was inevitable.

Train bit his lip and looked away from the shorter man. "That's not why I did it…"

Lin sighed in frustration and leaned back on his knees. "I know why it is so hard for you to accept what your heart is telling you, it's hard for me as well. You have no idea how hard it is for me…" He sobbed quietly, then pushed his heartache aside quickly. "My heart is shattering having this conversation with you, but I want you to be happy, Train. And I know what will make you happy now… And… as much as it pains me to say it… that happiness you seek is not with me."

Train watched the man in front of him slowly break and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I followed you out here to comfort you, not the other way around…"

Lin chuckled quietly and touched Train's hand with his own, tilting his head to rest it slightly on the cherished limb. "My heart isn't your responsibility, remember?"

Train cocked an eyebrow at him. "But mine is yours?"

Lin shook his head. "No. But, I want it to be. I want to help."

Train sighed and pulled his hand away. "Telling me I still love the man who killed Saya is not helping…"

Lin frowned at the loss of Train's hand, but shoved his hurt aside again as he tried to address his Sweetness. "The truth isn't always fun, but it needs to be heard sometimes."

Train ran his fingers through his hair as he leaned back in his chair. "I appreciate you trying to help, but this is something that I need to figure out on my own."

Lin crossed his legs and looked up at Train from his spot on the floor, fighting the urge to grab the cat's knees and tell him how much he still loved him. "You left me for a self realization that literally everyone else has already realized."

Train looked at Lin between his fingers. "I did not leave you for Creed."

Lin shook his head. "That's not what I said. I understand why you left me and I knew it was going to happen eventually it's just… I wish you could see what everyone else sees. If you want to be happy, we all know where you can find that happiness."

Train was silent for a second, then spoke quietly. "...That happiness comes at a bigger price than I think it's worth."

Lin felt his heart shatter a bit more when he heard his sweet love subtly hint that he was right in who had his heart. "I understand… And that's the part you need to work out on your own. But… You can't keep running from the truth. You'll end up unintentionally hurting more people along the way."

Train felt a dagger in his heart at his ex-boyfriend's words. "I did care deeply for you, Lin… I still do… I just…"

"...Don't love me, I know. Please don't say it again." Lin winced from the pain in his chest and rested his head on his hands as he sighed longingly into those amber orbs he adored so much. "I'm not upset with you. I just… want you to be happy. I only wish that happiness wasn't only possible with him… I wish you could be happy with someone else."

"Me too…" Train wasn't aware he said that out loud as he stared out the bay window that led to the garden.

Lin whimpered at Train's lost look, knowing he was staring at the flowers Creed started taking care of and understanding what his Sweetness was thinking. "To him, freedom was greater than love. She hated that. Because she had always thought that love was freedom."

Train gave him a curious look. "I know that's not original content from you. What's that quote from?"

Lin smiled up at his Sweet Cat. "Tessa Shaffer… "Heaven Has No Regrets." That quote reminds me of your relationship with Creed…"

Train's inquisitive look did not change as he spoke. "Why's that?"

Lin sighed sadly and glanced out the window his Train had just been looking. "Because you love being free and want others to be free as well. However, for you, freedom was something you felt you had to seek out on your own. You had to leave Chronos, the Apostles, and even Creed to find it, and yet you still struggle to live it. Creed, on the other hand, has never felt restrained or even controlled because he always knew he loved you. And he always knew that, no matter what Chronos or the Apostles did to him, he always knew he had freedom because no one ever ordered him to love you."

Train stared at the man's wistful face, then sighed quietly. "You really are a lot like Creed…"

Lin flinched at his words, even though he knew Train didn't intend them to be painful. "Not enough, apparently." He whined and looked back at his sweet love. "I think that's another reason why you agreed to be with me for that short, blissful time…"

Train cocked an eyebrow. "Because you remind me of Creed?" When Lin nodded his head, Train sighed and reached out to pat his head gently. "I really care about you… No matter what you think, you weren't just a rebound."

Lin smiled sourly, but was delighted to have the man he loved touching him again. "You only say that because you've only been with two people… Trust me, I know what a rebound is."

Train pulled his hand away and tried to give Lin a pleasant smile. "You seem to be getting along with Sergey."

The number rolled his eyes and pulled his knees up to his chest so he could rest his chin on them. "He and I both know what this is. His heart is with Creed, and mine is with you. We're simply keeping each other's beds warm as we try to survive a world without the men we love."

Train felt his chest get cold at Lin's words and did his best to hide the fear he had in his heart. "Are… You saying Sergey loves Creed?"

Lin nodded and rocked back and forth a little, trying to comfort himself from the pain he heard in Train's voice at knowing another man was in love with Creed. "Yes. But you don't have to worry. Sergey wants the same thing I want, but with Creed instead of you."

"What?" Train said, his voice shaking despite himself.

Lin sighed painfully and buried his face in his knees to hide the tears he knew were forming again. "He wants Creed to be happy. And he knows the only thing that will give him that is to be with you again."

Train watched as the man tried to hide himself in his body and knew he wasn't able to comfort him. "...I can't be with Creed again. Not after what he did."

Lin nodded slowly in understanding. "Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive him?"

Train did not respond. He looked out the window and tried to clear his thoughts by taking a deep breath. He wasn't sure how to answer that question, but he also knew that the answer needed to be found.

Lin's right, though. I need to find that answer on my own. Either I need to forgive him and embrace these feelings again, or I need to move on.

Train didn't think either of those options were possible, but he knew he needed to try. When Lin stood, the gunman looked over at him and frowned. "Are you… Going to be okay?"

"No." Lin said bluntly. "But… I'll work through it on my own. Like I keep saying, my heart is not your responsibility." Seeing Train was not convinced, Lin smiled reassuringly at him. "Don't worry about me, Train. And stop trying to comfort me. It's not your job."

Train stared at him, not sure what to say, but needing the other man to know he cared. "I want to help, Lin… I do care about you…"

Lin sighed lovingly at his Sweetness. "I appreciate your kindness more than you realize, Train, but really, don't concern yourself with me. I'll work it out…" When he felt his heart break even more, he decided now was the time to leave and he stood up and turned around quickly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find a certain Russian man in which to dispense these feelings into."

Train watched the man walk away and heard Creed enter from behind him. He was grateful his friend did not approach him, but he could feel the swordsman staring at him. "Are you okay, Train?"

Train sighed and sank lower in the chair. "Were you listening in?"

Creed hesitated, but tried to respond as confidently as possible. "No…"

Train laughed bitterly. "You're a bad liar, Creed."

Creed smiled warmly at the back of the chair. Even though he couldn't see his beloved, he knew Train had a thoughtful look on his face. "Only with you, Train…"

A peculiar silence was shared between them, but they both knew what the other was thinking. Creed heard everything he and Lin said and Train knew he had to work through that truth bomb the number just dropped on him. Creed was hopeful that maybe after hearing someone who also loved him tell him what his heart wanted that it might be enough to push the Black Cat back into his arms. He was actually surprised to hear Lin admit that Train was still in love with him and was beyond grateful that the man was willing to put his feelings aside to help the cat find happiness.

Even if it is at a cost of his own…

"Train…" Creed said as he approached the couch, resting his hands on the back of it as he looked down at his Kitten. "You know how much I love you… Right?"

Train stared straight ahead for a second, but decided to listen to his heart for that moment and looked up at his former lover. He felt his chest catch fire, his heart beating faster as he looked fondly into those blue eyes he knew his soul burned to be with. He smiled and nodded, then slowly stood from the chair.

"I know, Creed… But, I need to be alone for a while." He looked over his shoulder at Creed and gave him a reassuring look. "I'm not mad. Don't worry. I just… Need to clear my head."

Creed watched his love walk away, but did not feel the same pain in chest that he normally did when he watched his cat leave him. There was something different about his demeanor, something that led Creed to believe that maybe he was beginning to accept the truth his heart sang.

Don't get your hopes up. Even if Train says he loves you again, that doesn't change the fact that he refuses to be with you. Not after what you did to Saya…

Deciding he needed something to keep himself busy and knowing Train needed his space, Creed walked towards the door that led outside. He stepped through the doorway and picked up the gardening set he purposefully left on the ground next to the mansion's exit. Smiling, he approached the roses, hoping he would be able to have a reason to pluck them soon.

---

Later that night, after having dinner with everyone in the mansion, Creed was sitting in his room, playing his piano peacefully. He had given his beloved space for the rest of the day, since he knew that's what Train wanted, but was delighted when he saw Train still had dinner with everyone else. The two of them had been eating by themselves for the most part the last eleven days, but it seemed like after having that talk with Lin, his Kitten was a little less awkward around him. That worried Creed a bit since he was concerned that Train might decide to go back to him instead of continuing to explore his feelings for Creed, but he was reassured over and over again by his love's subtle gestures.

He kept pushing Lin away as kindly as possible and kept most of his attention and conversation with me. And the loving looks were getting stronger by the end of the day.

Train had been giving him fond looks a lot the last week and a half, but after what happened today in the kitchen and his talk with Lin, it seemed like his cat was slowly starting to accept his feelings more and beginning to listen to his heart. While he wasn't being touchy with Creed, he was flirting and giving him a lot of signals that he knew what he wanted.

Maybe it really only is a matter of time like Lin said… Still, I won't get my hopes up. I need to make sure I don't put more pressure on Train than he's already putting on himself.

Creed smiled down at the piano as he finished his Chopin piece and questioned what else he should play. He was in a good mood and had been playing pieces that made him feel happy or were relatively simple. However, he knew what he considered simply might have been complex for others. Creed may not have been vocal about his talent, but he knew he was a skilled pianist and wasn't afraid to admit it.

I also know Train is on the roof and most likely listening, so I want him to hear uplifting music. I know he was in a good mood when we left dinner and I want to keep that good mood going. He's got a lot he's working through and playing something melodramatic or depressing might make his time alone worse.

Creed desperately wanted to join his beloved in his stargazing, but he made a promise to himself after their encounter in the kitchen that he was going to make sure Train had his time alone. If his love wanted his company, he would come to him. The mansion they were in allowed access to the same part of the roof that Train's room did and his Kitten knew that. Creed made sure to leave the window open, just in case his cat wanted to hear him play the private concert that was meant for him.

This concert and every concert is a special event for him.

"Why don't you play Mozart's Sonata No. 17? That's a fun piece. I'm sure your beloved will enjoy it."

Creed smirked at the voice, knowing his teacher walked into his room without permission. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

Anastasia chuckled at his comment. "Your door was open. I thought it was an invitation for the general public."

Creed rolled his eyes, but his smirk never left his face. "It's certainly an invitation in, but not for the general public. I always leave it open for Train."

Anastasia cocked an eyebrow as he looked at the open window. She pointed at it with her cane as she leaned against the doorway for support. "Isn't that his invitation in? He's on the roof, isn't he?"

Creed nodded. "Yes, but I want him to know there's more than one way to get in my room. That's why that door is open too."

The old woman looked over at the door that her student was gesturing to and knew it was attached to Train's room. "I think you've made your point."

Creed shrugged his shoulders. "Just want to have my bases covered."

She felt herself shiver a little and glared at the open window. "Isn't it a bit late in winter to leave the window open? Aren't you cold?"

Creed frowned at her, then walked over to his bed to get her a blanket. Once he covered her with it, he closed the window a little, but not all the way. Anastasia frowned as he looked at the crack in the window, then asked her student another question.

"Isn't he cold up there?"

Creed shook his head. "No. His Tao abilities make him almost impervious to weather changes. He doesn't really feel cold. I'm going to assume once we get to warmer weather it might be the same situation."

Anastasia sounded intrigued as she spoke. "What about things such as rain and snow?"

Creed smiled ardently as he thought of the moment he had with his beloved in the snow about a month ago. "He loves the snow. Doesn't bother him at all."

Anastasia saw the fond look on his face and smiled. "And the rain?"

Creed giggled as he looked out the window, trying to will his Kitten to walk through it and imagining his love smiling cheekily at him. "That hasn't changed at all. He still doesn't like the rain. He's not waterproof after all."

Anastasia laughed a little. "And he doesn't like rain?"

Creed nodded. "Hates it. Never liked the ocean or pools either. Just like a cat."

The old woman watched him happily, enjoying seeing her student speak so adoringly of his beloved. "Well? What are you waiting for? Play Mozart."

He finally turned to look at her and smiled. "How am I to play that piece without a violin?"

Anastasia stepped in the room and towards the chair that sat closest to his door. "I could wake up Dae."

Creed laughed lightly and shook his head. "No, don't bother her. She's done enough with her cooking. She even said she'll give me cooking lessons if we stay here much longer."

Anastasia let out an exacerbated sigh and slumped in the chair. "Please, Lord, let us not stay here much longer. I'm starting to lose my mind."

Creed sighed. "You're so much like Train it's scary."

The woman smiled. "That's why you like me so much."

Creed shrugged his shoulders. "There are other reasons…"

The teacher smiled knowingly, and nodded her head. "Play Mozart."

Creed smiled at her and turned back to the piano. He began playing the piece as he was told, pretending the violin was accompanying him. Luckily, for the most part, the two instruments performed at the same time, as if they were children playing in a park together. The music was pretty technical, not melodic like he was used to, but still not anything he wasn't able to play. In fact, it was a nice change of pace for him. It was nice playing something that wasn't emotional, soulful, or depressing. He hadn't played something that was whimsical or lively in so long, he almost forgot what it was like.

When he finished, he heard Anastasia clapping lightly and turned back to her to smile. "Why did you want me to play that so eagerly?"

His teacher stretched her back a little. "I want you to play what you feel in your heart. And I could tell you felt playful and happy today." She looked out the window and smiled knowingly. "And I'm pretty sure I know why…"

Creed blushed and glanced out the window. "That piece reminds me of Train…"

Anastasia rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Doesn't every song remind you of him?"

Creed felt himself blush harder and even covered his face a little from embarrassment. "Touché…" He fingered the keys of the piano lightly. "Have you talked to Train at all since we've been here?"

Anastasia nodded. "Several times."

Creed was silent for a second, then began to play a one handed scale quietly. "About… What exactly?"

Anastasia gave him a knowing look, then leaned back in the chair she sat in, relaxing herself a little. "Why don't you talk to your beloved about it?"

Creed sighed and looked out the window longingly. "We have… A little. But, nothing really ever gets said. He usually ends up needing time to himself to think or says he's confused and doesn't know what he wants."

The old woman watched her student stare wistfully out the window for a second before she responded. "He knows what he wants. It's just a matter of what cost that want comes with."

Creed looked at her with hesitant hope in his eyes. "And… What does he want?"

Anastasia sighed. "That's not something I feel I'm at liberty to say. Patient client privilege and all."

Creed frowned at her and went back to his quiet scales. "That's fair, I guess…"

"I'm pretty sure you don't believe that, but I won't get into that." She glanced at the window, then back to her student. "Right now, he's trying to make a decision on something. And to make that decision, he believes he needs to figure out what a certain other person would want."

Creed didn't need to be told who that other person was or what the decision was. His heart began to beat a little faster and he felt a convivial smile slide across his lips.

What did we say about getting your hopes up? Who knows what conclusions he'll draw from figuring out what Saya would want?

However, he was pretty sure he knew what the woman would say. It only made sense that she wouldn't want Train to be with Creed. Who would actually give the okay sign to their best friend being with the person that killed them? No reasonable, sane, normal person would ever give the thumbs up for what they should only see as a toxic relationship.

I mean… Our relationship wasn't toxic when he had no idea what happened… We were genuinely happy together. I know we were. I've never seen him as happy as was when he was with me. And I know Train. I know when he's happy and when he's miserable. It was only after I started lying that it became toxic.

And Creed knew it was all his fault. The relationship turned sour and became untrusting because of him and his lies. Although, he wasn't sure what else he was expecting. Of course he was going to say yes to the love Train offered him, but having his Kitten's heart didn't change what he did to Saya. And what he did to Saya was the reason he started lying to him.

Our love is ironic… We were meant to be together, yet what brought us closer is also what tore us apart.

Anastasia saw Creed get lost in his own thoughts and frowned at him. There were so many emotions that passed through his head, she wasn't sure what to tell him to play next. She went through the music library in her head for a few seconds, then found something deep in her mind's eye and tapped her student with her cane. When Creed jumped a little and turned to her, she gave him a small smile along with another song to play.

"Do you know Ann Southam's 'Glass Houses'?" When Creed nodded she gestured for him to play it.

Creed had to think for a second about how it started, but as soon as he remembered, it was as if he had never forgotten. Again, this was another more intricate and ornamented piece than he was used to playing, but that seemed to be exactly what he needed. While the music was complex, it fell easily on the listeners' ears and gave Creed's mind something else to focus on. He was thoughtful before, but his thoughts were scattered and for some reason, the intricacy of the piece helped him fill in the blanks of his vacant mind and organized his disorderly thoughts.

When he finished he nodded at the piano and addressed his teacher without looking at her. "How do you always know the right thing to play to get my head straight?"

Anastasia shrugged her shoulders and sank a little lower in the overly large chair. "Some call it a gift, others say I'm just nosey."

Creed chuckled lightly. "I feel like those people are overly secretive."

The woman laughed at him and slammed her cane on the ground. "Says the man who used to be a Chronos assassin and ran a terrorist Taoist organization."

Creed raised an eyebrow. "Are you insinuating I should have kept my mouth shut when I met you?"

"Or that maybe you should have never met me in the first place." Anastasia smirked at him, letting him know she was kidding.

Creed didn't need to see her smile to know she was teasing him. She was acting similarly to Train and since he knew Train so well, he knew not to take everything she said to heart. However, he felt the need to voice his gratitude to the woman who had started looking at him as a son.

"Anastasia… Have I told you how much I appreciate everything you've done for me?" His voice was quiet as he spoke, but the woman could see the small smile on his face.

She looked out the window, staring at the dark night sky and bright stars as she shrugged her shoulders. "No, but then again no one really has. And I don't need to hear it."

Creed turned fully to her. "But you should. You've taken in so many people in as if they were family. You've treated me like a son since the day you met me, and I feel like I haven't done anything to make you see how much I appreciate everything you've done for me… For Train."

Anastasia looked back at him. "First of all, you're far too old to be my son. Have you seen my daughter?"

Creed rolled his eyes, but laughed. "Don't compare me to Aimee. Need I remind you she's adopted."

Anastasia nodded in agreement. "You're right. Something as incredible as her could have never left a miserable body such as mine."

Creed sighed, but could still feel the teasing smile on his face. "You know that's not what I meant…"

"I know." She said as she looked back out the window. "You should know you don't need anyone to thank or appreciate me. I just want to make sure people like you don't hurt yourselves."

Creed smiled at her as he stared out the window, the image of his cat's smiling face still etched in his mind. "That's all the more reason you deserve gratitude and should receive thanks. Anyone else would have thrown me out the moment they learned about my past…"

Seeing him looking out the window again, she knew he was thinking of Train again. "Are you talking to me, or to your beloved?"

Creed's smile changed into a frown as he turned back to her. "I'm sorry…. I didn't mean to make it seem that way. I just-"

Her laugh cut him off and he deepened his frown at her as she spoke. "I'm messing with you again! I know you're trying to thank me, but I also know you can't keep your mind off that man for more than five minutes."

Creed shrugged his shoulders. "Can't help it. He's simply too incredible to forget. Even three-hundred seconds is far too much time to go without him at the forefront of my mind."

Anastasia scoffed at him, but Creed knew that her gesture was in jest. "Maybe for you. For anyone else, it's simply five minutes."

"Can I just get back to thanking you for being such an amazing person, ya old bat?" Creed giggled and began to play chromatic scales. "I… I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Repay me for what?"

Creed smiled warmly at her. "For saving me. That night Rinslet brought me to you… it changed my world. I know you've helped a lot of people and touched a lot of hearts, but… I don't think you know how much you changed me, how much you helped me. You… You saved me Anastasia…"

The old woman smiled at him. "That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?"

Creed giggled again. "Train thinks I'm dramatic too…"

She rolled her eyes again. "Still can't keep your mind off him?"

"Never." He sighed. "I actually don't think I'm being dramatic enough. You may know what my past was… But you don't know who I used to be… What I used to be…" He looked out the window again, smile still painted on his pale face. "That night when I met you… I thought I was getting better, but it turned out I was only bottling everything up. I don't think I would have killed again or hurt anyone else I… I don't know what I would have done to myself."

The woman suddenly seemed concerned. "What do you mean?"

Creed felt his body stiffen up a little. This was something he hadn't even told his Kitten. "I… I didn't want to live after Train left. I hated myself so much for what I did to him… For how much I hurt him and how selfish I was being. I was holding him hostage at the end and I barely seemed to care. I didn't deserve to exist in the same world as him… I didn't want to exist without him."

Anastasia watched him with heartache as he spoke. "Creed… Should I be worried?"

Creed shook his head and stared at the ground. "Not anymore, no. But… Even when Train took me back in… Even when he pitied me enough to not let me die alone, I still didn't want to live without him. I didn't know how to. I didn't have anything else besides him, but…"

He raised his head to look at her, the tears in his eyes showing nothing but happiness. "...You showed me that there's more to life than my love for Train or my hatred for myself. While of course Train will always be my world and at the center of my heart, you opened up another world to me. A world of peaceful harmony and celestial music. I never thought I would have met anyone I care about other than Train. I never thought I would make friends outside of him. And I never thought anyone other than Train would care about me…"

Anastasia giggled at him. "Sergey has certainly proved that wrong."

Creed shivered at the mention of the man who had a crush on him. "I'm not talking about just him, I'm talking about all of them. Dae has never been anything but kind and caring towards me and Francisco is actually quite funny when you get to know him. And I know Aimee doesn't talk, but I can tell how much she cares about me. Though, that might only be because she knows you care about me."

Anastasia shook her head. "No, that's not entirely true. I think that might be how it started, but it's not how it is now. She definitely cares about you. She might even talk to you one day."

Creed blinked at her. "Really?"

The woman shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe. Only time will tell."

Creed smiled warmly. "I'd like that…" He turned back to the piano and went back to playing his chromatic chords. "You saved me in more ways than one, Anastasia. You gave me an outlet for my pain which prevented me from taking it out on myself. You helped clear my mind and gave me a life. You gave me hope… And you gave me ground to stand on."

Anastasia smirked at him. "Aren't those all things Train has given you?"

Creed nodded. "Yes, but it's not something I should be relying solely on him for. It wouldn't be fair to demand that he continue providing me with comfort and peace of mind and believe that only he could give it to me. That's too much to put on anyone, no matter how amazing and perfect they are. He doesn't owe me anything, but I owe him everything. He already has my heart, but I owe him my life. And I would be prepared to give it to him, but I can't ask him to give me anything." He looked back at his teacher as he pulled his hands away from the piano. "And that's where you came in. You welcomed me into your strange little family with open arms. You never judged me. In fact, you did the exact opposite. You gave me unconditional love and understanding… Which is what I desperately needed. And I realize now I needed it from someone other than Train."

Creed paused for a second as he stared out the window again, watching a bright star he knew his love was talking to. "I will always need Train. I will always be grateful for him and always love him… But he knows that. I would be remiss if I didn't tell you how much you matter to me, and how thankful I am to have found you. You set me straight and cleared my head. And now I know how to deal with my bouts of depression."

He didn't mention any violent or rage-filled thoughts because those didn't happen anymore. While he may have still had moments when he was angry, he was never at the level he used to reach. The most that happened was he needed to take a walk or a deep breath. His madness had become a thing of the past, a distance nightmare he barely thought about anymore. It just simply wasn't a part of who he was anymore.

I think there's several factors to the homicidal side of me dying off, but with Anastasia and Train's presence, they've been able to calm them. Anatasia has given me the tools to let out my emotions in a healthy way and Train's presence will always be of comfort. Although, I do think there is a third factor that I can't quite put my finger on. As quiet as they may have been, those bloodthirsty thoughts were still present when we started the Apostles or I was with Chronos.

That idea was something that still haunted Creed. It obviously wasn't a bad thing, but he still wished he knew what it was. If there was some outside force other than his cat or his teacher that helped calm him down, he wanted to know what it was so he could keep it from happening again. Also so he could understand more about himself. It was as if when he left Chronos, he left the monster behind as well. He was clever enough to think they might have had something to do with it, but he also didn't want to think Sephiria was still keeping information from him.

Especially after everything I've told her about the Apostles. You'd think she'd trust me by now. But… I guess I still wouldn't put it past her to continue keeping me in the dark.

Seeing his teacher staring at him again, a small smirk on her face, Creed shook his head and laughed delicately. "Sorry… Daydreaming again."

"About your precious cat?" Anastasia laughed with him.

Creed shook his head. "Surprisingly, not this time. But, now that you've put his name back in my head, I can't think about anything else."

"Well, then this seems like the perfect time to mention something important to you." Seeing Creed blink in confusion at her, she continued. "I wanted to let you know I'm leaving the music school to you."

Creed gawked at her in bewilderment, sputtered a few incomprehensible words before he finally found his voice to speak a somewhat full sentence. "Wh… What do you mean?"

Her smile widened a little, but the bittersweet look on her face did not change. "You know I won't live forever, Creed."

Creed nodded. "But… You're okay… right?"

She laughed loudly to cover up her cough as she banged on his head lightly with her cane. "Of course I am! Don't you see how healthy I look?"

Creed frowned and looked at her up and down. He had been down this road with her before and knew the light cane slap was only a warning of what she would do if he questioned her words and pushed for more information. "Yes."

The old woman nodded. "When I go, no matter how many more years that will be, the music school will belong to you."

Creed was still at a loss for words, but managed to say something. "Anastasia… I don't know anything about running a school."

She laughed loudly. "Like I do? I started this business with my wife forty years ago. She was the brains behind the business. If it wasn't for her, it wouldn't be the success it is today. She built the groundwork and sustained the business, I just taught the students. Now that most of the students are mostly capable, it's just a matter of managing the money and recruiting new students. And based on your history with starting the Apostles, I already know you can do both."

Creed blinked at her. "Stealing money and recruiting madmen to take down a secret assassin organization is completely different than bringing students into a school and upkeep the building and instruments."

The woman waved away his worry. "You are more qualified than you realize. You're an extremely charming person and people are drawn to you. How do you think you were able to create such a powerful terrorist group?"

Creed winced. "Can we please stop comparing my old group to a school full of innocent music students?"

The woman laughed again. "What makes you think my students are so pure?" She smirked at him knowingly and continued. "I don't expect you to teach. I expect you to do what my wife did: Manage the business and hire teachers."

Creed's confused look did not change. "And where do I find teachers?"

Anastasia rolled her eyes. "Literally anywhere and everywhere. You can always find a teacher, they are not in short supply. Besides, like I said, this won't happen for years. I can start to show you the ropes and teach you how to run the business. I'm actually more concerned about you dying before me and I have to find someone else to take this school off my hands."

Creed laughed at her joke. "I'll try to outlive you, Anastasia…"

As she listened to his voice trail off, she sighed and poked him in the forehead with her cane. "Just trust me, okay? There's no one else in the world I would trust with this business other than you."

Creed frowned at her as he rubbed the spot she poked. "What about Dae?"

Anastasia shook her head. "She's already getting Aimee. I can't put more on her plate."

Hearing the young girl's name gave him another idea. "What about Aimee? Can't she run it?"

The woman rolled her eyes. "No. You need to be able to talk to strangers. While she is a talented girl, creating relationships is not among her talents." Seeing he was about to open his mouth again, Anastasia put a hand up to stop him. "Don't even bother to say Sergey or Francisco. You already know neither of them are an option either. You're my only choice, Creed."

Creed smiled bitterly. "You don't sound so eager… Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

Anastasia nodded firmly as she looked him straight in the eyes. "Yes. The only things I've been more certain of was when I married my wife or adopted Aimee." She stood slowly and smiled down at him. "You can't say no to this. My fancy lawyers have already been written down."

Creed pouted at her. "But what if I mess it up?"

"Then I'll come back and haunt you to death then kick your ass in the after life." She chuckled at him, then reached out to pat his shoulder. "You'll be brilliant, Creed… I know it. And I can sleep soundly at night knowing my pride and joy will be well taken care of when I'm gone."

She stepped away from him and slowly made his way towards the door. "It's getting late. I need to go to bed. You should too." She grabbed the door knob, her vision blurring slightly and her head feeling light as she took a minute to gather her bearings. Not wanting Creed to see how weak she felt, she did not turn around to say these last words to him. "And tell your love to come inside. I don't care if he doesn't feel the cold, I assure you he is still human and is still capable of getting sick."

Anastasia heard the scared sound Creed made and knew he was jumping from the bench to run to the window. She heard it open and listened as her student climbed to the roof quickly, laughing when she heard the two men argue on the roof about the cat getting sick. The woman looked over her shoulder and smiled at the window, vision still cloudy as she sighed.

"You'll be wonderful, Creed… I'm sure of it." She took in a deep breath and opened the door. "And you'll be fine without me when I'm gone."