A/N: Hey, everyone! RK was voted the TLS fic of the month for February. Among all the competition, I'm simply floored. Thank you all so much for your support! I have a ton of lurkers on this story *cough* and I thank you for your votes.

Listened to Bloodstream by Stateless while writing this chapter. If you haven't listened to this schmexy song... run, don't walk. Gah.

Thanks and Edward licks to my awesome preaders, Keye, Sandy, and Aleea, for their invaluable feedback and friendship.

I treasure my betas, wmr1601 and Katmom, more than I can say. These ladies are beyond compare. Mwah!

Chapter 15

~Bloom and Fade~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~ Lao Tzu

I think I might have inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
You've gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me

~Excerpt of Bloodstream by Stateless

Dusk is descending, the sounds of the coming night growing quieter upon my approach. Even the crickets are silenced. They might not have the same instincts as the wildlife of the forest, but they can feel the ground beneath them vibrate with every animal that abandons the area. They know something wicked and deadly is coming, and their built-in sense of self-preservation kicks in.

In front of the door to the cottage, I set Isabella on her feet, holding on to her hips. She places her hands on my chest and looks up at me silently. A wash of bluish light casts everything in shadow around us, and her features look pale and ghostly. The slight breeze gently whips the hair over her shoulder, and her clavicle stands out in pale relief against the darkness of the t-shirt she wears—fabric that now intermingles our scents. I brush my index finger over the prominence, a reminder of how fragile she is.

Closing my eyes, I cup her face between my hands and rest my forehead against hers. "Isabella, are you certain this is what you want? Because I've controlled myself thus far with great difficulty. I meant what I said about worshiping your body for hours. As a human, you'd never be able to withstand . . . what I so desperately want to do to you. And I can control myself—otherwise I'd have thrown you down on my bed long before now—but I need you to fully comprehend that I'm not human."

"I understand, Edward. No human I know could ever match you in loyalty or the way you care for me. There's nothing I want more than to be fully yours. In my heart, I already am, but I need this as much as you do."

Her breath is warm and humid on my face, and a slight shift of my head brings our lips together. Our kisses are chaste and unhurried; I enjoy the feel of her warm softness molding around my cool hardness. My hands span her slim waist, pulling her in closer, and she loops her arms around my neck to thread her fingers in my hair.

Kissing my way to her ear, I whisper, "Hold on to me." Sliding my hands down over her ass, I hike her up by the backs of her thighs, and her legs instinctively wrap around my waist. Our chests press together, and an answering warmth blooms in mine as heated tingles radiate through me. I haven't felt a temperature change inside me in over eighty years. Nothing I've done, no one I've touched, has left me anything but as frozen as the day Carlisle sired me. Isabella has changed everything.

I open the door and walk us inside, using my foot to push it closed. Our lips meet again, the heat of her mouth branding me, and the burn is like nothing I've ever experienced. The growing need in me to consummate our bond reaches a crescendo, and my cock presses almost painfully against the seam of my jeans as I move us into the bedroom. Turning so her back rests against the wall, I allow my hands to roam over her ass, kneading gently.

A whispered "Oh . . ." comes from Isabella, and she tilts her head back, exposing her neck to me. My lips are all over her baby soft skin immediately, pressing softly when they encounter the flutter of her pulse. I snake my tongue out to lick at the skin there, enjoying her unique taste. Her fingers tighten in my hair, and she rolls her pelvis against me.

"Are you ready?" I ask, my lips whispering over the gentle throb.

"God . . . yes."

Placing her down on the floor, I slide the pants down her shapely legs, taking her shoes with them. Isabella willingly lifts her arms, allowing me to strip my shirt off her. She wears no bra underneath, which leaves her in a pair of purple silky panties edged with lace. I take a step back, my eyes feasting on her ethereal beauty. The graceful slopes of her breasts with their rosy peaks entice me, and my tongue tingles with anticipation to take them between my lips and roll them until they're as hard as little rocks. I reach my hands out to caress her hips, slowly moving up past her waist and over her ribs until my thumbs brush over the rapidly engorging little buds. Her mouth hangs open slightly, her eyes dark and wanting as she watches my hands fondle her.

A rise in her respiration.

Dilated pupils.

Adrenaline.

Moist decadence between her legs.

She's ready, and I am so far beyond ready that I'm half-scared of hurting her in my haste.

My instinct is to rip the silky little panties right off her, but I force myself to exhibit self-control and peel them slowly down until they hit the floor. I join them on my knees, stripping off my shirt and gazing up at her. The way she bites her lip makes my cock twitch. "You're killing me with the lip biting, Isabella." I grab her around the waist and draw her closer, my lips nibbling around her belly button. The scent of her arousal is so, so close, and I want to taste her again—when her flavor is untainted by bathwater and oils—but there's time for that later. My need is too great right now.

Isabella's fingers dig into my shoulders, her sweet heart making a thump, thump, thump that I know is just for me because I can feel it beating in my chest, too. Digging my fingers into her hips as lightly as I'm capable of right now, I look at her meaningfully. "I need you. I need to . . . bury myself inside you."

She gasps, her heart thundering in her chest now—a stampede of horses running free. I catch her in my arms as her knees go weak, scooping her up. Rising fluidly to my feet, I place her gently on the bed. Only now do I notice that the comforter has been pulled back to reveal deep wine silk sheets covered by white rose petals. Alice. The petals flutter around her gently, and she lifts a hand filled with them and laughs with delight as they rain down over her nakedness.

With a soft growl, my jeans are shredded in my haste to be naked beside her, but I manage to crawl slowly onto the bed, covering her body with mine. The heat emanating from Isabella sears every part of me that hovers over her, and I use my elbows as leverage to keep from crushing her with my weight. Even though I have no need of oxygen, I'm breathless along with her. Our eyes meet and hold, and hers tell me how much she wants and needs this, too.

Lowering my lips to hers, I kiss her slowly, allowing the heat to gradually build into an inferno. Our mouths meet over and over until I lick at her swollen lips, which she parts, allowing my tongue to explore the heavenly depths of her mouth and taste her sweetness. I swallow all the soft sounds vibrating up from her throat: every sigh, mewl, or exhalation of my name.

Leaning on one elbow, I explore her body with my other hand, my fingers trailing lightly over her neck to rest over her thrumming heart before squeezing a breast and rolling the nipple the way I know she likes. Whispering my fingers softly over her navel, I dip lower until I can slip one finger inside her folds. Finding her more than ready, I nudge her legs apart until my cock is cradled between them. We stay that way for a short time, and my lips leave hers to pepper sweet kisses over her heart. "My mate . . . I promise to love you and cherish you for eternity," I say against her heart.

"Edward . . . I love you so much. I can't even describe how I feel inside . . ."

I smell her tears and sense how overwhelmed she is by our connection. "Shh . . . I understand, Isabella. I'm right here with you." Lifting my head, I gaze down into her beautiful eyes. "Hold onto me now, sweet one."

She's so wet, but I remember her telling me James hasn't touched her for the past three years, and I know I need to move slowly—for both of us. Isabella slides one arm around my neck, digging her fingers into my hair, her other wrapping around my back. I tease at her clit with the head of my cock until I sense her body starting to relax. Slipping down a little, I press my hips forward slowly, entering her inch by inch. When I'm nearly there she stiffens around me, her muscles clamping down. Oh, God . . . the heat! The vampire in me wants to fill her completely, take her as mine right now. I hiss through my teeth, forcing my hips to remain still. "Are you all right?"

"Y-Yes. I'm sorry. I want you, I just—"

I stop her words with my lips, kissing her gently. "Do you want to stop?" My horny inner vampire snarls at me for asking something that might stop him from mating, but Isabella's needs have to come first—always.

"No . . . it's just been so long, and I feel so much." She swallows hard, frustration wrinkling up her forehead. "I just don't know what to do with all this—what's inside me."

"Pour it into me, sweet one. Let go—I won't let you fall. You're safe with me."

Our lips meet, tongues tangling together as her body relaxes around me, and I'm able to enter her completely. A buzz starts in my chest and races through every nerve ending inside me bringing white hot ecstasy that lights me up and causes my head to snap back. As many times as I've had sex, nothing like this has ever happened. I know why things are this way, but that doesn't mean I'm prepared for what being inside her does to me. Her silken heat wrapped around my cock is the most delicious mix of heaven and hell. The way she shivers beneath me, the soft coos she makes when I touch her, melts my insides until I feel truly alive for the first time since Carlisle turned me.

"Edward . . . so much," she pants, her fingers tightening in my hair.

Grabbing her other hand in mine, I press it down to the bed beside her head, entwining my fingers with hers. "I feel it, too. It's like you're inside me, part of me." It's no lie—I feel her heart beats in my chest as the warmth continues to flow through me.

Isabella wraps her legs around me, and we move together, each of us completely in sync with the other. Circling my hips, I thrust into her welcoming heat, allowing my instincts and her helpless cries of passion to show me what we need. Placing my lips on the wrist of the hand pinned to the bed, I kiss and lick along her arm and over her shoulder until my lips nuzzle against her ear. "I love you," I whisper, suckling on her earlobe.

"I love you, too."

Tears leak from the corners of her eyes, rolling into her hair. I kiss over each temple, light as a feather, tasting the saltiness on my lips.

"Kiss me?" Her fingers tighten in mine, her breaths erratic.

She's close to her release—I feel it, sense it, smell it—and my thrusts deepen as my lips cover hers, my tongue sweeping into her mouth.

Isabella's back arches beneath me, her cries vibrating my tongue as her walls clench and flutter around me, our pelvises continuing to rock against each other. Her heart slams in her chest and mine, and I feel the orgasm as it overtakes her entire body. It rushes like a tidal wave, infusing every dead cell inside me with life.

The rushing, tingling heat becomes a conflagration inside me as my own release burns through me turning every cell to cinder. Along with this comes the urge to put my mark on Isabella, and before I can stop myself, my teeth pierce the throbbing pulse in her neck and blood streams over my tongue.

"Edward, no!"

I hear her cry out through the haze of my orgasm and the ecstasy of having my teeth in her neck. When her hands slap at my arms, I start to worry that I've hurt her. Swiping my tongue over her skin to close the wound, I raise my head. And then it dawns on me—I just drank from Isabella.

"Edward? Please, are you all right?" Her voice has a hysterical edge to it, and her eyes are scrunched closed.

"Yes. I'm fine," I answer, my voice full of wonder.

Because I am. Perfectly fine.

"Y-You're fine?" She opens her eyes cautiously, peering up at me.

"No pain, no napalm under my skin, no weakness . . ." I smile, cupping her face in the palm of my hand.

Her fists are curled tight against my chest, and her fingers finally loosen and ghost over my face. "But how?"

"Did I hurt you?" I glance down at her neck, but the only evidence left of my bite is a slightly paler, shiny crescent marring her soft skin.

"N-no. I was afraid for you. If anything ever happened to you . . ."

"I'm sorry . . . about the biting. I wasn't in my right mind." I watch a rosy blush rise to her cheeks and smile. "What?"

"Um . . . I really enjoyed it. I was so worried it would hurt you, but it felt so good, Edward—almost as good as . . ." She looks away, the blush deepening.

"It was good for me, too. I can't adequately describe the feelings inside me while we made love. I felt your heart beating in my chest—felt so warm and alive inside." I bring her hand to my lips, kissing the tip of each finger. "This has been the most mind-blowing experience of my existence."

"And how old are you exactly?" There's a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to ask a vampire his age?" I ask with mock affront. "I was born in 1901—do the math." I kiss her nose playfully.

"God, you're old!"

"Actually, I'm quite young for a vampire. Carlisle is over three hundred years old, and some of the members of the Denali Coven in Alaska are just over a thousand."

We both grow quiet, and the realization that I'm still inside her causes my cock to harden again.

"Edward, I think you're . . ."

"Hard again. Yes, that happens—with vampires." My lips curve into a smile, and I stroke her brow, the mischief in my eyes this time. "Do you want to . . . again?"

"Yes."

Rolling us over, I scoot back and lean against the headboard with Isabella straddling my lap. When I look down where we're joined, I growl low in my throat and my hips buck lightly. A few rose petals adhere to the moisture on her skin, and one of them flutters to the bed when I reach out to caress the soft flare of her hips.

Her fingers seek purchase on my shoulders, and I use my hands to guide her up and down my length. She rotates her hips as she takes me inside over and over. Her prominent ribs and hip bones give away how frail she is, but I can tell how lush her body would be if she was in perfect health. Even ravaged with illness, her curves are soft and feminine.

I slide my hands up her sides, caressing her breasts and flicking the pads of my thumbs over their hardened peaks.

"Oh . . ." She rolls her head back.

Encouraging her to move her hands up to the headboard, I wrap my arms around her back. Pulling her closer to me, I take her nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue slowly.

"Mm-mm, Edward, more," she coos softly. "Please."

I give her what she wants, increasing both the pressure of my tongue and the rhythm of my hips. As we both draw closer to the edge, her heartbeat starts echoing in my chest again, but this time, I don't lose my shit and bite her. She comes first, her chest and neck flushing, and I fall right after.

Rolling us on our sides, I trace the curve of her hip with my index finger. "You're so beautiful and sensual. I'll never have enough of you." I nuzzle my lips in the crook of her neck, and she shivers. I can sense how tired she is, that it wouldn't be wise to push her limits. "Get some rest, Isabella. There's so much more I want to do with you, but you should sleep now."

"I am kind of tired." She tries to stifle a yawn and fails miserably. "I don't want to close my eyes, though." She frowns, her face suddenly sad.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I brush the backs of my knuckles over her cheek.

"I'm afraid this is all a dream—that I'll wake up and you'll be gone."

"You know what's going to happen when you wake up?"

"What?"

"I'll be lying right here next to you. I love you, Isabella. More than anything or anyone. More than my own life." I press my lips to her forehead. "Sleep now."

She curls in a ball against my side, and I pull the covers up over us. I try to tuck them around her so she won't get cold, but she stops me because she wants to be as close to me as possible.

Her eyes drift closed while I stroke her hair, and just as sleep pulls her under, she whispers, "I love you."

In her sleep, Isabella snuggles closer to me, and our legs tangle together. She doesn't seem repelled by icy temperature at all. I wrap my arms around her and tuck her head under my chin, content to watch over her.

I have nothing to do but think while she sleeps because I won't leave her side tonight—not for a moment. Thoughts of me biting her swirl through my mind along with what could have happened. But it didn't—her blood didn't affect me at all. I must have some kind of immunity to it, and I wonder if it will last.

I need to discuss this new development with Carlisle. It would seem this changes nothing, but there's always the chance that if my venom holds some kind of immunity to her blood, I'll be able to change her. It's a long shot, but I'll pursue any possible chance to keep her with me.

And then a sobering thought pushes its way into my mind. If I'm immune to her blood, her eggs might not be immune to my seed. Visions of Isabella's womb swollen with a fast growing vampire hybrid send a rush of ice through me. She would never survive that.

Despite my concerns and the growing desire to talk to my father, I hold her to me for the rest of the night.

In the morning, Isabella wakens slowly. During her slumber, she twisted until her cheek was pressed against my chest, the soft puffs of air from her parted lips ghosting over my skin when she breathed in and out. As she surfaces, her eyelids flutter open, and she gazes up at me adoringly.

"You're real."

"Of course I'm real. Good morning."

"I slept so well last night—no bad dreams." She presses a warm kiss over my Adam's apple. "It must be because you were holding me."

"How are you feeling?" I brush the hair back from her forehead and assess her. She's glowing with happiness, and there's no sign of distress.

"Deliciously stretched and sore in all the right places," she whispers, a rosy blush blooming over her delicate skin.

"That's what I wanted to hear."

Isabella rubs her foot along my calf, and looks up at me coyly. "Are vampires into early morning nooky?"

I laugh out loud. "Very much so. We do need to talk with Carlisle as soon as you're up and around, though." She starts licking her way up the side of my neck while wrapping one hand around my enthusiastically hardening cock. With great difficulty, I grasp her wrist to halt her strokes. "Isabella, we can't . . . not until we talk to Carlisle."

"Your father needs to be involved in our sex life?" she quips with a giggle.

"No, but there's an issue. Now I don't want you to worry, but since I was immune to your blood, you might not have protection against pregnancy."

"Oh." Her eyes widen, but they give nothing away about how she's feeling.

"I'm sorry—it was very irresponsible of me not to use protection." My brow scrunches in consternation. I never had unprotected sex before, and just because Carlisle didn't think it would be a problem didn't excuse my stupidity. "If for some reason, you are . . . we'll have Carlisle take care of it right away."

"Take care of . . . are you suggesting aborting our child?" Isabella's voice drips with hurt and sadness as the tears well in her eyes. "The way you say that is as if it's a problem rather than a baby. Our baby."

"There's no baby." I palm her burning hot cheek lightly.

"If you were so sure of that we wouldn't be having this conversation, Edward Masen."

Oh, shit . . . she's using your full name. That can't be a good sign. Fix this, Masen!

"I –I . . ."

Way to handle the situation, Masen. Act like a total pussy in front of your mate.

"Shut the fuck up!" I mutter.

Now you're in for it, buddy.

"What?" Isabella stiffens against me.

"Shit—not you. I didn't mean for you to shut up."

"Well, who then?"

"Me. I'm talking to myself. God, I'm such an ass." I sit up against the headboard and pull her into my arms. She comes willingly, although I wouldn't blame her if she spit in my face. "I'm so sorry. My mind is thinking in clinical terms. You'd never be able to carry our baby to term."

"Why not?" she asks softly, burying her head against my neck.

"Because of your condition. Even under the best of circumstances, a human rarely survives the birth of a hybrid child." Placing my fingers under her chin, I use them to gently lift her face until our eyes meet. "Isabella, I'd love to be able to have a child with you. We must think of your health and of Hannah, though. A pregnancy would likely kill you, and then you'd be leaving Hannah with no mother and me . . ." I can't force the rest of the words out.

"H-Hybrid?"

"Our child would be half human and half vampire. The gestational period is far shorter, and the birth . . . is definitely different from a human one. There isn't much data on this because it hasn't occurred often."

"How many women have lived through the birth?"

She would ask that question. "One rumored survival. None that I know of." I look away. I'm so pissed at myself for putting my mate in potential peril. "I'm sorry."

"Edward, we're in this together. I'm a big girl—I know all about using protection."

"I should have known better. It's not every day a woman has to face being impregnated with a fetus that will—" I stop short of saying grow rapidly and bite its way out of the womb.

"Will what?"

"Hurt you. I can't let anything ever hurt you. Please tell me you understand." I cradle her head against me and try to block out the vision of a baby we created through love ripping and tearing its way out of her body. A burning pain flares in my chest.

"I need to think. When can we talk to Carlisle?"

"I'll call him now if you'd like."

~*RK*~

Isabella is eating her breakfast in the sun room when Carlisle arrives. Placing a kiss on her cheek, I head into the living room to greet him. He can find his way to us easy enough, but I want to speak with him alone first.

Out of respect for our privacy, he waits until I open the front door before coming in. I didn't tell him on the phone what the issue was; I simply asked him to come over.

"What's going on, Son?"

"I bit her." I look away, unable to meet my sire's eyes when I say this. We talked about the danger of me biting her, and still, I lost control.

"She's all right, though? And you?"

"I'm fine."

"You didn't drink then? You were able to stop yourself?"

I stroll over by the window and look out at the dull gray sky, avoiding Carlisle's keen gaze. "Before I realized what was happening, her blood was pouring down my throat. I only stopped because Isabella started to panic. I was . . . so overtaken by the urge to mark her. Even though you warned me, the danger never even crossed my mind." I jam my fingers in my hair and turn back to face him. "Fuck. Nothing intelligent was in my head at that moment."

"Any delayed affects?"

"No. It's not me I'm worried about, Carlisle."

"Well, what then?"

"We had unprotected sex. If her blood didn't harm me, then . . ."

"Ah. This was unexpected. I'm sorry, Edward—I shouldn't have told you not to worry about protection." Carlisle shakes his head and looks down at the floor; I know he really takes it hard when he makes an error in judgment.

"No. I take full responsibility for this. I was stupid and horny. When we left the house, I barely made it to the cottage before I was mauling her." I reach my hand out toward Carlisle and then drop it back to my side; I'm still uncomfortable showing him affection. "She's in the sun room."

"Let's go have a chat then." I'm glad he's starting to come around a little. I want this to end well for them.

I'm most likely able to catch his thought because he's feeling emotional right now. It seems to be difficult even for those most talented at blocking to keep me out when their emotions are high.

Carlisle follows me down the hall, and I stop just short of the entrance to the sun room. I speak with my back to him because I don't want him to see how ashamed I am. "I made another mistake. I spoke of our potential child as a problem to be taken care of."

"I see. Well, let's talk with her."

When we enter the room, Isabella is curled in a ball on the wicker love seat staring out the window. She seems to be locked deep inside herself and startles when she realizes she has company.

"Good morning, Isabella." Carlisle smiles at her and pulls up a chair.

"Hi."

I stand awkwardly beside the love seat, unsure if she wants me next to her for this, but she looks up at me and pats the cushion beside her. Grateful, I sit down and take her hand, brushing my lips over the backs of her knuckles.

"Edward has filled me in on the situation. Do you have some questions you'd like to ask me?"

"How many women have survived a h-hybrid birth?"

"I don't personally know of any. One of the problems is most vampires don't stick around after impregnating a human. Very often, the women have no idea what's happening to them."

"And if the vampire did stick around? What would a woman's chances be then?" Her hand tightens on mine.

Carlisle grimaces, hesitating a moment before speaking. "Only marginally better, I'm afraid. By my calculations, a healthy human female has about a twenty percent chance of survival if everything possible was done to ensure it. Naturally, she would have to be changed as soon as the baby was born."

"And my chances?"

"With your condition, the fact your blood composition would change drastically, the unknown element of you being half Quileute . . . five percent would be a generous estimate. I'm sorry, Isabella."

"So, basically, I'd have a better chance of survival if I closed my eyes and ran out onto a highway during rush hour."

I smell the salty tang of tears in the air and wrap my arms around her.

"May I ask when your last menstrual cycle was?" Carlisle asks.

"Um, I haven't been very regular the past few years. The last one I recall was about three months ago. How soon will we know?"

"Fairly soon. These pregnancies are accelerated. I would recommend testing your blood twice a week. You have to make a decision soon, though. If you become pregnant, time is of the essence."

"I've already decided." Her voice is dull, lifeless.

I'm afraid to hear her decision. The selfish part of me wants her to choose me, but a small part of me that thought I could never father a child is rooting for the baby that might not even be growing in her womb.

"If I am pregnant, I want you to . . . end it. I can't leave two children behind without a mother. Maybe this is selfish, but I want to live. I want you to find a cure so I can be changed." Tears roll down her face, and I pull her closer.

"You're not being selfish . . . you're being realistic. I'll support you whatever you decide, but I think this is the best choice—for all of us."

Carlisle leaves silently. Call me if you need me, Son. I'm sorry about this.

Isabella shakes with sobs. Lifting her in my arms, I carry her back to our bed and hold her while she weeps.

~*RK*~

A/N: Go on now, let me have it. I hope you enjoyed the lemony bits, and yes, I had to go there. Talk to me, peeps. I know there are a lot of strong feelings out there regarding babies in vamp fics. Yea or Nay and why?

See you next Tuesday!

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