Dying to Live

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

When Rin came down to breakfast in the Kyoto inn, she was just as pretty as Sesshomaru had envisioned she'd be in her new attire, if not more so. Despite the fact that he had not had her precise measurements in the shop, the clothes fit her perfectly. She had braided her hair to the side where the only thing from her old ensemble remained: she had tied off the end of her braid with her usual, red hair ribbon. Sesshomaru found it quite charming and was glad that she had decided to keep it, even if it didn't exactly match the rest of the outfit. Any young man would find her desirable now! Sesshomaru thought in satisfaction at his good work. Still, he limited his conversation to brief remarks about the good fit of the garments.

She thanked him for his thoughtfulness, pointing out that she particularly liked the butterfly tassel decoration from the continent. Perceptive and polite girl that she had always been, she also complimented the new clothes he had picked out for himself and now wore. They were only a very plain shade of dark blue, the pants with the typical white pin stripes, and the top and bottoms both made from a more humble silk-cotton blend. Regardless, he acknowledged her compliments, saying that his clothes were more than adequate.

Departing from the breakfast table, where Rin forced herself to hold back potentially disparaging comments about how little he ate again – only a cup of tea, a cup of miso soup, and a couple bites of smoked fish – they continued on their way. Two days later on January 16th, they arrived in Nagoya, where they rested for a couple nights, again enjoying being in more proper, significantly less drafty accommodations, as the nights grew more and more chilly.

The evening of the 22nd of January found Rin and Sesshomaru within sight of that king among Japanese mountains, Mt. Fuji. Intermittent grey skies had regularly threatened rain for the past two days, so when they arrived, a thick layer of steely looking clouds hung ominously over the mountain's far away summit. The riders were still treated to a dramatically beautiful sunset, as the last rays of golden, westerly light gradually washed down from the leftward peaks. Sesshomaru, of course, had seen Fuji several times before, but as he had never witnessed a young girl seeing the majestic sight for the first time, he now enjoyed hearing Rin's soft "oohs" and "ahs" at the contrasting shades of dark and light that painted the glittering, snowy slopes.

Even as a chilled breeze picked up from the East, an unpleasant harbinger of the fierce storms finally rolling further inland, he didn't take any pleasure in pulling her away from the scene she found so enthralling; anytime she forgot their troubles, he found himself increasingly willing to linger for her. Still, as they finally rode back down into the forest's night-shade, he couldn't help but be still mildly enchanted at how she continued to crane her neck from the back of her mount, as Mt. Fuji slipped out of sight. "I think I can really see now why people have been writing about it for all these centuries," she remarked, at last turning her attention back to the ride. Sesshomaru merely smiled ever so slightly back at her and nodded.

Unfortunately, it turned out that they could not escape the freezing rain. Earlier that day, they had luckily been told by another group of travelers heading in the opposite direction about a traditional rural retreat inn snuggled away in the foothills, not far from the first view of Fuji from the road. Believing that they knew just about how far the inn was when they departed the overlook, Sesshomaru and Rin urged their horses on at a fast pace along the road in an effort to outpace the storm. Together, they raced ahead, the force of the wind blowing harder and harder at them.

"We should be able to see it when we reach the next rise in the road!" Sesshomaru shouted over a particularly loud gust that sent a confetti-blast of leaves and forest debris soaring up toward their faces.

Racing at breakneck speed over lifted tree roots and errant rocks, their horses started to pant. Almost, over-elated from their challenging ride, Rin and Sesshomaru reached and paused at the top of the incline in the road just in time to see the soft glow of the rustic inn's oil lamp before the heavens opened up and a downpour of shockingly frigid rain flooded down upon them.

Rin squealed in dismay and even Sesshomaru released a loud sigh of disappointment, as they were soaked in an instant.

Really? Sesshomaru thought to the gods or perhaps no one in particular, he wasn't really sure, as he weakly held his open palms up skyward in defeat.

Suddenly, he heard the pound of horse's hooves to his right, and his gaze darted from where Rin had been to where she now was almost halfway to the inn. "What are you waiting for? Come on!" she whooped over her shoulder, her high-pitched voice barely audible over the rain beating on the entire forest.

:

"Haha! Can you even believe that just happened?" Rin laughed, obviously referring to the deluge from earlier, as she briskly shut the door to their room and leaned against it. Her hair was still dripping from the bath, as was his. They both wore the matching blue and white, bamboo-patterned, cotton bath yukata provided by the inn, while their clothes dried on racks by a large brazier in the corner of their room.

Rubbing her arms and shivering dramatically, she scampered over to and slid under the warm quilt of the kotatsu table where Sesshomaru already sat rigidly, listening to the happy muffled voices coming from the rooms around them before Rin entered. As she selected the side of the little square table directly adjacent to him, he watched her with one eyebrow lifted as she set about dramatically settling herself, hastily shoving her legs and, even for a moment, her arms under the draped quilt.

A brush of cotton against his bare ankle: Was that her sock? he asked himself, as he immediately snatched his limbs away from the intimate point of contact under the table and simultaneously leaned back. Still startled, he watched with unexplained suspicion, as her erratic fidgeting slowly subsided.

"Ah, thank the kami for this inn!" she stated, half-leaning half-stretching her arms over the low table top, obviously unaware that she had touched him under the table. Then, her eyes caught the tin pitcher and two small porcelain cups in front of Sesshomaru.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she exclaimed, "Don't tell me you haven't had any yet!"

Sesshomaru turned his attention to the object in question. He thought back to how about ten minutes ago he had heard a soft knock at the shoji. A young, slight maid had entered holding the pitcher and cups. She had approached with her eyes discretely lowered. It was only after she had placed the items on the table in front of him that the young thing had noticed both of his discerning eyebrows arched at her, as if to say, I didn't order anything. Her eyes registered concerned confusion and after that, she had retreated out of the room, bowing as quickly as possible. Still the pitcher and cups had remained.

"Haven't had any what?" Sesshomaru now replied.

"Warm sake," she answered, reaching across in front of him for the pitcher and cups. "It always comes with the room at this sort of place," she stated, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. "Didn't you have any in the bath either?" she questioned, as she looked inside the metallic vessel and lifted the sake urn out of the warm water heating it inside.

"What?" he said.

"It was right there on the floating trays in the bath!" she remarked almost as if she thought he was being purposefully dull.

"I was bathing. Why would I?" he replied honestly, as he watched in curiosity. She shook a few drops of water off the bottom of the bottle of alcohol, smelled the liquid inside, and poured some into each of the two cups.

"Well, then, have some now," she directed, plopping one of the cups down in front of him, which he just looked at and then watched as Rin steadily drank hers down. When she set her cup down again, he noticed how flushed her skin still was even though she had now been out of the bath for several minutes.

"It's going to get cold," she said, indicating his cup again. "Drink yours, too," she instructed in the same voice she used when telling him how to eat different human foods.

Sesshomaru looked into his cup. In all his life, Sesshomaru had simply just never bothered with alcohol. He could never imagine what it could possibly do for him that he couldn't already do for himself with all his own force and intellect. Of course, he had met several lesser demon lords who had indulged heavily in the drink, but he usually only came into their acquaintance shortly before he cut them down and took control of their lands. Why they drank it he didn't know; certainly, it hadn't made them stronger, and if it had, then that was even more embarrassing. In short, he had seen no reason to ever try it before. Yet, here he was with a cup of the stuff in his hands and himself now with absolutely nothing to lose but his pathetic life.

Slowly, he tilted the cup back. First, even before the warm liquid touched his lips, he felt its soft, floral, alcoholic fragrance tingle ever so softly around his nostrils. Then, as the drink entered his mouth, he felt its heat, at first merely physical from the tin sake warmer, but then he sensed its gentle burning flavor as it slid over his tongue and gums and down into his throat. From there, it passed and settled hotly in his chest and finally his stomach. Well, I guess I can see why frail humans, at least, might have reason to drink it in the cold like this…

"Good," Rin said, seeing that he had finished his cup. "Now, have another one," she directed, having seized his cup and refilled it again. He promptly shot her one of his famously dubious looks.

Smiling playfully, she sighed in mock exasperation and proposed, "Let's play a game." How high can those eyebrows go? she asked herself as she watched him raise them up another half step. "Jus' givit a try- humor me?" she finished, trying to sound cool, even though she was a bit surprised herself at how she'd allowed a few words to slur.

"It's called 'Two Truths and a Lie,'" Rin began, topping off her own cup to make things fair. "I heard a group of other travelers playing at one of the inns we stayed at last week, and after listening a while, I think I figured out the rules. We each think of three facts 'bout ourselves, but only two of the facts are real, while the third one's a lie, or not true. Then, we take turns sharing our facts – the first person tells all three of their facts at once, being careful not to reveal the lie, so the other person has guess which fact is the lie. If the guesser guesses the lie correctly, the other person has to finish their drink; however, if the guesser is wrong, then the guesser has to finish their own drink!" she finished with a devilish look in her eyes, "So whaddya think—shall we play?"

"So one 'wins' by being deceptive?" Sesshomaru asked after a moment.

"Yup!" replied Rin, enthusiastically bobbing her head.

"Hmm," Sesshomaru answered, still looking skeptical.

"Aghhh," Rin sighed impatiently, before deciding. "Look, I'll go first, and you guess. Le'see, mmm…" Sesshomaru watched with passive patience, as she apparently racked her mind for three facts. He started slightly, when with an animated "ah-ha!" she began, "Okay, my three facts: 1. When I was about twelve, I tore a hole in the back of my yukata, and I wouldn't allow you to see the back of me for a whole two days until I could fix it. 2. One day, while I was bathing, I decided to try cliff diving into the Tama River. 3. Once, when I was a child, I burned Jaken with his Staff of the Two Heads while you were out hunting, but when you returned he was too embarrassed to say anything about it. That's it- now, guess!" she instructed, looking excited.

Still not entirely sure he felt like playing, Sesshomaru sighed and repositioned himself under the kotatsu. He proceeded, "Well… so it seems like I need to eliminate the two truths first… The first one's easy. It's true: I remember when you tore that hole in your yukata because I saw it."

"You did?" Rin said, looking awe-stricken and betrayed. Oh! I wonder just how much of my under garments he saw without saying anything?! she wondered, stifling a hot blush, but Sesshomaru was already moving on.

"Hm… The cliff diving I'm not too sure about, but aside from the Tama River, there's not a lot of detail to that one…" he considered, now looking more thoughtful about his guessing. "But the last one, Jaken getting burned by you with his own staff—I do remember something about him getting burned by that thing... more than once," Sesshomaru smirked a little. "So, I think three is also true. Number two, the cliff diving, must be the lie then," he declared.

Rin wore a mischievous grin of her own, though. "Wrong!" she piped in satisfaction to his somewhat surprised expression. "I actually never tried to burn Jaken, with his staff or otherwise, but he did burn himself with his staff several times while you were not around. He was trying to show off his 'immense' abilities to control its power. I personally think the old man and woman carved on top of it had a good laugh disobeying him on purpose at those times," Rin giggled. "Oh, I wonder what he's doing now…" she trailed off a little sadly before almost instantly brightening up again. "Now, drink, 'cause you got it wrong! And then it's your turn!"

After draining his cup (which Rin promptly refilled) and throwing his eager companion one last slanted look, as if to say, Do I have to go?, Sesshomaru settled on his three facts. "First: When we were children, I pushed my half-brother down a hill into a muddy swamp and told our father it happened because he was clumsy and tripped. Second: One time, I didn't transform out of my dog form for almost seven years. Third: Once, I tried to swim across the sea between here and the continent to see if I could."

"Oh, these are interesting!" Rin commented, pensively tapping the tips of her fingers together. "Okay, let me see… when you were a child you pushed Inuyasha into a swamp to embarrass him in front of your father… Although, I've never really thought about it before, I can easily imagine the two of you not getting along at all well as children, so I can actually picture you doing that to him," she reasoned, shooting him a playfully judgmental glance.

"The second one: Believing it's totally possible for you not to break dog form such an extended period of time, I can also easily imagine you roaming the Western Lands as a massive dog for seven years. You've certainly lived long enough," she added, thoughtfully biting her lower lip. "It's the last one I'm suspicious of… You once tried to swim the sea between here and the continent… Again, you've certainly lived long enough, and I'm guessing you would have figured your body resilient enough to do it. But there's the problem of the detail that you decided to do it simply to see if you could: I have rarely known you to do anything, Lord Sesshomaru, that you didn't have a purpose for doing. So, the third fact doesn't sound like you at all," she determined, studying him through squinted eyes, as if it would improve the clarity of the subject sitting across from her. "So it seems to me that the second one's certainly true, the last one's apparently the lie, and the first one-although hardly a testament of your good character," she added with rambunctiously, inhibition-less censure, "therefore, must be true."

Sesshomaru was now starting to enjoy his emergent success at this small competition. "Incorrect: there's a flaw in your logic," he pointed out a little smugly, as he watched her face fall. "Firstly, you did guess well about my patrolling the Western Lands for several years as a dog. Several times in my long life, especially after my adolescence ended, and I struck off on my own, I preferred my natural form over my humanoid appearance. Truly, I had nothing to think of besides eating and roaming; however, in my later years, I suppose I found the wanderlust comparatively quelled…

"However, you fell for the bait when you automatically assumed that I spent part of my youth tormenting my half-brother. While I would have been only too happy to humiliate my half-brother when we were young, the fact was that our father died right after Inuyasha was born, and so I almost never saw him until many years later. So, no, I never pushed him into a muddy swamp… Which leaves my attempt to cross the sea to the west of here: which I did try once, in my youth, but I found myself deterred by a bad storm…" he concluded sounding very off-handed, in Rin's opinion, given the volumes she felt she had just learned about him. Although it was vague through the sake haze, she suddenly realized she knew embarrassingly little about his life from the years before they traveled together.

"Oh, well," she said and cleared her throat, "Looks like it's my turn again, then."

"Wait, didn't you make me take a drink before, when I guessed yours wrong?" Sesshomaru stopped her, looking confused.

"Ah, looks like I've taught you too well, Lord Sesshomaru," she said, with a glint in her eye, as she tilted back her cup and then refilled.

Several rounds later, Rin and Sesshomaru were nearly matched at their game, when the last cup of sake went to Rin for guessing incorrectly that Sesshomaru also knew how to speak Chinese when he really couldn't.

"Oh no," the girl moaned, as she poured from the urn what turned out to be one last full cup of sake. "Who knew there was ach'lly tha' much left?" she questioned, covering her eyes in quasi-mock dread. "Can I request back up?" she asked, shooting Sesshomaru a pleading look.

"You may," he permitted, a red glow now having settled high on his cheekbones as well.

"My hero as always," she declared, accepting his cup, into which she poured slightly more than half of her drink. Dramatically, she gulped down the remainder of her portion with an exaggerated, wincing "ah!"

"Done!" she said, turning the drained cup in his direction so he could see the empty bottom. Then, leaning forward and resting her chin on her folded arms, she announced, "D'ya wanna hear one las' truth for the night, mi'lord? This is the firs' time I ever drank."

"Hn. Same," he replied evenly, taking another sip from his cup.

"What?! Really?" Rin laughed, her eyes sleepy but twinkling in the dim light coming from the brazier.

"Mmm," he nodded in drowsy affirmation. Then out of the blue he straightened up ever so slightly and in that naturally serious tone of his said, "Rin, we talked about most of the other truths and lies, except your first one – did you really go cliff diving on the Tama River?"

"Huh? You really want to know?" she asked, a curious grin on her lips, as he gave her another demure nod. "It's ach'lly kinda embarrassing… Did you know I used to pretend I was you when I was a child?"

"Really?" Sesshomaru asked, his attention now totally on Rin.

"Oh, yeah, all the time— it used to drive Jaken crazy when I'd pretend to order him around! Anyway, so ya see, it was morning, a good time for a bath at a bend in the nearby Tama River before we broke camp. So when I finish washing, I decided it might be fun to play by the water for a bit, before I went back to camp. I was picking my way up along the rocks, creeping over moss and branches that had grown over the stone, pretending I was you, a silent hunter moving almost invisibly through the forest.

"Before I knew it, I had snuck my way high above the riverbank. I looked down and saw the Tama deep and blue and calm below. And I pretended I was you, about to effortlessly swoop straight down off of some much higher up cliff to save me from an imaginary bird or panther demon. So with hardly even a second thought I dove, naked, off the cliffs into the water below," Rin narrated, her gaze somehow faraway as she made a smooth diving motion with her hand toward the tabletop. "When I emerged from the water, my heart was pounding, but loving the thrill, I dove several more times after that, perfecting imaginary Sesshomaru's attack on the bird and panther demons. So it's just like I said before," she finished, as she stifled a yawn and nestled her face down into her arms, "you were always the hero."

"Hn. Somehow it's strange for me to hear that you used to pretend to be me…" he observed after a moment, looking somberly into his cup. If only I could just pretend to be myself again, he thought before saying, "Although, I suppose it makes sense, you didn't have much memorable contact with other people when you were—hn? Rin? Rin?" he asked immediately, feeling her body turn toward him under the kotatsu.

Through his thin cotton robe, he felt her drawn up knees press against his outer thigh. He panicked, as he felt a strangely hot tingle springing up on his face and neck… and suddenly in the pit of his stomach. Damn it, why am I sweating all of a sudden? he thought anxiously wondering if the alcohol was making him sick. "Rin? I think… you're touching me… Are you asleep?"

Seeing her face still buried in her arms on the table, he felt a strange rush of relief wash over him, as he realized, She's just asleep. Carefully, he then pushed himself away from the kotatsu and away from Rin's knees.

Stepping softly around her, Sesshomaru retrieved a blanket from one of the futon and gently laid it across her shoulders. Then wearily, he brushed a few beads of sweat from the back of his neck and collapsed onto the blanket-less futon, wondering how his body could be freezing one moment and then his blood could be practically boiling the next… It's all too much… I'll never understand this body, he moaned to himself, sinking into sleep.

::

Little did Rin and Sesshomaru know as they reminisced about a certain little, green demon and his signature staff the previous night, the next morning dawned back on the southwestern side of Honshu to find Jaken also recalling better times past. As it happened, he awoke lying right next to that very same staff, looking directly into its two faces. Unfortunately for them both, it had also rained across the whole area south of Edo, so the little imp youkai had been forced to take refuge for the night beneath a large juniper bush, under which he now lay face-to-face with his only companion... er, companions.

"Oooooh! What are we going to do now, my poor Nintoujohhhh?" Jaken whimpered, as his body gave a writhing shiver on the frozen ground.

Beside him, the staff continued with its usual petrified, harsh gaze.

"Nothing's been right since we left Lord Sesshomaru almost a month ago! Oh, ho, ho! We have been cold and alone almost every night!" the little green demon still wailed, before a somewhat squeezed, tortured sound emitted from his stomach, causing him to stop only for a moment before he began tragically wriggling again. "And now I'm hungry, toooo!" he cried, totally forgetting himself and throwing his little arms around the staff. Less than a second later, though, he promptly recoiled from the embrace with a strangled, little squeak after looking up to find his own two bulging yellow eyes a terrifying mere millimeters from its four bitterly scrutinizing ones.

"If only none of this had happened, and I could have stayed with Lord Sesshomaru foreverrrrr," he moaned into the dirt, now lying practically on his face, no longer caring about the brown dust and mulch that clung to his clothes and pointed hat. Everything's already a mess anyway! he thought, despairingly. Perhaps I should never have left Lord Sesshomaru. I could still swallow my pride and go back, if he's still alive... It's not the worst fate for a little demon imp, is it? To have served one of the once most powerful demon lords in Japan? he wondered for the hundredth possible time.

"But that's the problem, Jaken, he was once one of the greatest lords, and you let him get attacked all alone. Knowing Lord Sesshomaru, he will find it even more a hateful mockery of his former glory to have you return to his service. The shame for both of us will be positively crushingggg!" he sobbed in conclusion, huge tears making little pools of mud under his face.

"It seems like I have no choice but to find another master!" he lamented finally. "Oh, Lord Sesshomaru, wherever you are out there – if you're still out there – I'm s-s-SORRYYYYYYYYY!"

:::

Note: Oh, poor Jaken! Anyway, review, review, review, dear readers! Give me your thoughts! Thanks to all of you who already have—keep it up!

'Til later! Origamikungfu.