Dying to Live
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
"Ughhh, I still can't believe it," Sango groaned for what Kagome thought was at least the millionth time that week. Still, she tried not to smile, as her friend sat down heavily in her bedroom vanity chair and rubbed her pregnant belly with a pouty face.
"Even though you and your mom's friend told me it's only if they turn out identical, but I fully blame that stupid monk. I swear, it's like he saved up all his super – what're they called again? Oh, right, sperm, or something— just for me!" she complained again.
Kagome would have laughed at that, imagining little tadpole-like characters with Miroku's face and wearing Superman capes while swimming up a stream; however, she was being dressing in her white wedding kimono, and at that same moment, the stern-faced little kimono lady tugged savagely on a sash at Kagome's waist, knocking the wind out of her. If the woman made the darn thing any snugger, Kagome worried she might not actually make it through the procession to the shrine without passing out from lack of oxygen. She tried to be thankful that at least she didn't opt for the traditional hairstyle that would've required more than an hour of sitting while the kimono lady tied in and sculpted hair extensions to her head. Instead, she loved the way that her mother and Sango had teased and twisted her hair into a thick French braid laced with a fine strand of pearly beads that started at her left temple and wound around the back of her head and ended in a shiny ringlet that draped over her right shoulder. Mrs. Higurashi had explained to the kimono lady, who had worn a deeply disapproving look at what she thought was clearly a heterodox wedding hairstyle, that they would simply pin the plait up and out of sight for when Kagome wore the traditional horn hiding hat and hair ornaments. (Kagome, Miroku, and Sango always had a good snicker at Inuyasha's expense whenever they mentioned the horn hiding hat, joking that it wasn't Kagome who needed to hide an unruly second nature on their wedding day!)
Kagome still couldn't believe that February 2nd, the date they had picked, had arrived so quickly. As they had rapidly thrown together the wedding plans, the past few months had positively flown. Of the 120 friends and extended family members Kagome's mother and grandfather invited, 103 had returned their RSVP cards in the mail. From the feudal era, Kagome and Inuyasha had invited Kaede and Kohaku as well. Word had even been sent to Shippou for him to drop by the village the night before the wedding, but no one had heard anything from him in months since he'd gone away northward to train with a skulk of other kitsune demons. So in the past two weeks, Mrs. Higurashi and Grandpa had led the charge in rearranging the entire house to accommodate as many of the most closely related wedding guests as possible. While the girls all worked on cleaning the inside of the house, the men prepared the yard for the huge heated tent that would be rented for the reception party.
Then with only one week to go before the wedding, in the middle of all the pandemonium, Sango had a false alarm while bending over the help Kagome unwrap a wedding present that had arrived early in the mail. Scared by a strange throbbing pain in her lower back that she could be going into labor almost three and a half months early, Sango immediately began to cry unstoppably, adding to the calamity. Worse yet, Miroku, Inuyasha, and Kohaku were out getting fitted for their kimono with Souta, who conveniently wouldn't answer his cell phone. So, no one could take her back to the feudal era to be seen by Kaede either. Fortunately, Mrs. Higurashi, who worked as a nurse four days a week at a neighborhood pediatric clinic, had a close friend named Mrs. Kamonashi, who worked as a mid-wife all around Tokyo.
A petite, soft-spoken, gentle woman, Mrs. Kamonashi arrived as if on a wave of calm and promptly laid Sango down, expertly massaging her back and listening quietly to her swollen abdomen with a stethoscope. "Well, dear, no wonder your back's complaining at you," Mrs. Kamonashi pronounced, her expression sweetly chiding. "You're going to have to take it a bit easier for this second half of your pregnancy. It's a lot harder on your body with twins, and I bet you've been on your feet a lot with this wedding."
"Wha-What?" was all Sango could say at first. That was when, they found out that she was probably only four and a half months pregnant – not five and a half – and that she would be having two babies instead of one.
Kagome had watched her friend's face rise into a smile and then fall just as quickly in what looked like one fluid motion. It was clear that as soon as Sango could register the happiness of this surprising news, she also suddenly began to realize the related negatives.
Kagome felt bad for Miroku when he and the other men had returned home a few hours later. After hearing from Mrs. Higurashi at the door that something had happened with Sango and the baby, the young man bounded up the narrow staircase toward the guest room he and Sango always occupied. Kagome, who had been sitting next to Sango talking to her on the bed, watched him burst into the bedroom with such a look of worry that she nearly burst into laughter when he fell dramatically to his knees beside the bed. "What's the matter, my love?" Daijoubu?" he asked so seriously, stroking her hand between both of his like it was a fragile, little bird.
"Oh, Miroku," she sucked in a gulp of air. Kagome noticed her friend's lower lip begin to quiver dangerously, but apparently Miroku didn't. "We're going to have twins!"
The poor, unsuspecting monk's face cracked into an ecstatic grin. "Really? Sango, darling, that's wonderful news! Aren't you happy? Sango? Sango, beloved, why are you crying?" he asked, finally noticing her lack of enthusiasm. For the sake of her best friend, who she realized was currently in an unusually fragile, emotional state, Kagome choked back another fit of giggles. She threw her fiancé a meaningful look where he leaned against the doorframe, also observing the scene in quiet amusement.
Sango was, fortunately, oblivious to their small audience, as she sniffled loudly and said, her voice breaking before she finally burst out, "Yes, but I'm going to get s-so fat an-and tired, and I'm- I'm—so mad at youuuu!"
"Oh Sango, Sango," Miroku said drawing his beautiful, crying, shaking wife into his arms. Even after she weakly tried to push him away at first, she quickly melted into his embrace like an exhausted child. "It's okay if you want to go on hating your poor husband. But I want you to know that I'll still think you're the most gorgeous woman in the whole world, and you'll still make me the happiest man alive precisely because you married me and are having my children," Miroku told her soothingly, as he began to lovingly stroke her upper back. Kagome, who had gone to stand with Inuyasha a little outside the door, heard him suppress a snort behind her, and she knew he wondered the same thing as she did: whether the monk could keep that hand from wandering lower, even at a time like this.
Miraculously, he did and leaning back to look his wife in her pretty, tear stained face, he said, "And I will do my best to stay with you as much as possible over the next few months- and I think Kagome and Inuyasha will too," at which point he glanced hopefully in their friends' direction. "You won't have to lift so much as a finger, if you're feeling at all tired. So you mustn't worry about a thing, dear, okay?"
Sango sniffed and hiccoughed cutely. Then, looking at her husband more gently than before, she asked, "Why must you be so nice to me always? You're making it so difficult for me to hate you right now," she laughed a little, and Miroku smiled.
Later that night, as Inuyasha and Kagome lay beside each other on her bed, his arms looped around her from behind and his chin resting on her head, she heard him snort amusedly to himself and asked him why.
It's just that I could've told them that they were gonna have two is all," he commented.
"What?" Kagome replied in confusion and turned her head to look at him.
"I mean, it's not like I knew or anything, but I could have probably listened for the kid's heartbeat, and then, we would've known," he explained.
"Could you really do that?" Kagome asked interestedly, still looking over her shoulder at him.
"I don't see why not. When I'm in my demon form, I can hear all kinds of things I can't when I'm human. Even when I was a half-demon, my hearing was still probably at least a hundred times better than a human's," he explained.
"Do you think maybe we could try it out eventually, one day?" she asked, a little hesitantly after laying her head back down, facing away from his. It was the first time she'd really dared to allude to them having children together. Although the topic had come up fleetingly in a discussion they'd had after he had first proposed to her, nothing had really been decided.
"Sure, I think we probably will," he said after a moment. Then, he tightened his hold on her, and they had snuggled closer together.
Kagome enjoyed thinking about all the things they might do together in the future, but for now, on their wedding day, she really just wanted to enjoy the moment. A soft tap on her door brought her mind back to her bedroom with Sango and the kimono lady. "Come in, as long as you're not Inuyasha," Sango called, having learned from Kagome the modern Western tradition of not letting the groom see the bride before the wedding.
Mrs. Higurashi poked her head inside the door. Like Sango, Ayumi, Yuka, and Eri, who had all been asked by Kagome to wear some combination of silver, black, white, and wine colored purple as members of the wedding party, Mrs. Higurashi had donned a dark Cabernet-hued, high-necked, long-sleeved, knee-length dress with silver pumps and opalescent, black pearls. With Sango recently more self-conscious about her expanding figure, Kagome had helped her pick out a pretty tailored dress in wine colored brocade that had a flattering heart shaped bust line and hugged her curves before ending just above the knee. A long black blazer, silver loop earring and bracelet, and black stockings and flats finished her look. Kagome's other three friends had selected their own outfits. For after the traditional shrine portion of the wedding, white and purple flowered boutonnieres had been ordered to be pinned on all the members of the wedding party, including the bridesmaids, groomsmen, Mrs. Higurashi, Grandpa, and Kaede. To add an extra lavishness to their outdoor wedding photos, Inuyasha, with Kohaku's help, had also acquired gleaming, light brown, sable stoles for him, Kagome, Sango, Kaede, and Grandpa to wear. Not only would the beautiful furs help keep them warm, especially since it had snowed, as if in answer to Kagome's ideal wishes, they would also help solidify the cover story for Kagome's extended family and friends that the couple had met in faraway Kunashiri. There, according to their story, Inuyasha Hirai's family had generations ago moved from Hokkaido to start a locally prosperous trapping and fishing trade. Sadly, over the years, the family had begun to dwindle through misfortune and hard living. Only his cousin Miroku Yukimura and their Great Aunt Kaede, the last remaining member of their known family, who had raised them both, remained.
"Oh, Kagome," Mrs. Higurashi gushed, stepping into the room and bringing a smile to her daughter's face. "You look so beautiful today! I'm just sorry your father's not alive to see you, but still, you know how proud Grandpa and I are of you." She reached out and squeezed her daughter's hand, and Kagome drew in a deep, emotional breath as they smiled at one another. This was going to be such a big day.
:
"So are you ready for the wedding night?" Miroku asked with a playful smirk.
"Figures you'd ask that, lecher," Inuyasha replied. After Grandpa, Souta, and Kohaku, they were the last ones to be fitted into their kimono in one of the shrine's outbuildings beside the family home. A middle aged lady and her son worked side-by-side quietly and efficiently tying sashes here and there on their garments.
"This time, I'm not, though!" protested Miroku. "It seems to me like it must be a pretty common question between grooms and their best men!"
"It might be, but it is a pretty common type of question coming from you, that's for sure," Inuyasha continued giving him a hard time.
"Aw, come now, Inuyasha, you must admit, I've been much better behaved since marrying Sango," Miroku quipped in his own defense. "I think she's been an excellent influence on me!"
"That's fortunate for you, given that I think she'd kill you otherwise," Inuyasha laughed, earning a playfully miffed look from his best man. Then, after a brief pause, he added, "If you want the truth, though: I am."
"Hm?" Miroku questioned.
"I mean, I am," he reiterated, with a genuine grin, "excited for us to be together."
Miroku smiled and clapped his friend approvingly on the shoulder. Boys' talk aside, today, he was glad for both of his friends.
:
Two days after Rin and Sesshomaru fought in their room at Lord Takizawa's rest house near Yaga, they departed for Edo once again. Having acquired in town the day before a new horse for Sesshomaru and rations to replace the ones they'd lost on the stolen steed, they set out in the predawn darkness, so early that it was more than hour before the first barely visible fingers of baby pink sunlight reached into the sky above the dark and bare forest branches. It was so cold that Rin imagined her breath freezing inside her lungs and choking her before it could escape past her chapped lips as frosty, little white clouds. A fog of little frozen droplets hung around Sesshomaru's mouth and noise as well, so she knew his breath must have felt just as cold, but still he rode with a renewed vigor. He was now obviously driven by an angry vengeance, though, which caused him to push his new mount hard along the twisted woodland trail. At first, Rin struggled to keep up with his feisty new pace, but she refused to give him an excuse to accuse her of slowing them down too much, for since their argument in the inn, he had barely uttered a word to her other than to gruffly issue an order to follow him here or to stop there to rest. She couldn't help but miss their conversations, which she thought had been growing steadily convivial and almost comfortable before the attack, but she told herself that she would not be the first one to give in and apologize this time. No, she had done nothing wrong other than try to support him as always.
Thus, they rode alone in frigid silence for nearly three days, starting before dawn and breaking well after dusk. Rin supposed that they wouldn't have even stopped to sleep if Sesshomaru hadn't been fearful of another attack on the highway. And very fearful he clearly was: Rin noticed how his eyes constantly scanned the shadows between the gnarled trees and bushes lining the road. She wondered how he didn't tire from all the nervous watching, twisting here and there in his saddle at the slightest noise. All day, he also kept his hand fixed on the worn hilt of the heavy but nondescript, old, mortal sword he had taken from the wall of his mansion, releasing it only to stretch the muscles that stiffened from his prolonged grip. She realized it even put her on edge to see him so, as she noticed at one point her own knuckles turning white from squeezing her reigns.
Then, just around nightfall on the second day, the loud crack of a splitting branch practically sent Rin's heart flying into her mouth. In a flash and with the loud, cutting scrape of metal, Sesshomaru had drawn the long, ancient sword and was looking frantically left and right for the source of the sound. Their horses, which had been suddenly and painfully brought up by their reigns, stamped about nervously threatening to rear, when a frightened little brown hare darted across the road. Feeling immediately relieved at the sight of only the little creature, gone as quickly and harmlessly as he'd come, Rin caught her breath and looked in Sesshomaru's direction. She felt a pang of sadness, as she looked past the long strands of steely grey hair that had fallen messily across his normally noble features to find his gaze still wide and terrified. Only worsening his appearance, his right eye remained a shocking shade of crimson, making him look crazier than he almost ever did, even as a demon.
At last, they reached Inuyasha's village. Nearly two hours after sundown, it felt very late, as they checked into the little inn on the edge of the village. Barely conscious, Rin bathed and washed her hair half-heartedly, before she passed out under the heavy woolen covers of her futon without a word to Sesshomaru.
:
The next day, the sun burned sharp and bright as a beam of its light cut into their room through a small tear in the rice paper covering the window and landed squarely on Rin's right eye lid. With a flutter of her soft, long lashes, she winced away from the unexpected brightness. The room was actually little warm from the direct heat of the sun, and unconsciously, Rin shifted uncomfortably under the weight of the blankets. After being achingly tired and cold day after day, the heat felt good, though. She began a languid stretch under the covers.
Then, the girl froze: something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. The sun was too high in the sky. She would've expected Sesshomaru to have already risen and to have stepped heavily about the room and to have commanded her out of bed long before this. Why hadn't he? Where was he?
Her head whipped to his side of the room, and she found his covers lumpy but oddly still. Her discarded covers had hardly settled before she thrust out a hand and tore back his blankets, too. Even before she saw the pillows lying inert in the center of his futon, she already felt the trouble in her bones. Cold sweat leaked out over her creased brow, as she hung momentarily helpless over his empty bed. Then, a cocktail of anger and fear dumped into her veins: his sword, the worn, old battle blade – not Tenseiga, which she had been carefully keeping for him—was missing from its spot by the door. Still in the white, cotton bath yukata from the night before, she flew from the room, her long, sleep-rumpled, black hair flying out indelicately behind her. Practically running down the hallway, she rushed past other disturbed looking guests and nearly knocked a loaded tea tray out of the hands of the first maid she found.
"Did you see a tall man with unusually fair skin and long, dark grey hair leave this inn this morning?" she pressed anxiously, leaning a little too close to the long faced girl wearing a faded red rag over her hair. "Oh, d'ye mean Shippou-san? Yes, I showed 'im the way to the wedding earlier this morning."
"What?" Rin gasped. "That's not his name! And what wedding?"
The horse-faced, little servant turned ghostly white and looking scared, she stammered, "Oh gosh, was he not s'posed to go then? I-I just assumed—he said he was looking fer Inuyasha, and I assumed he was Lady Kagome and Inuyasha's friend Shippou. We were told they were still expecting him and that they didn't know particularly how he'd look like when he got into town! – Oh, I gave 'im the special key, too!" she whimpered.
"Please," Rin started, taking the girl's forearm to steady her in her fit of anguish so she wouldn't drop the tea set. "I need to find him, before he causes trouble. You have to show me where you took him right away!"
:::
Note 1: So yes, by the way, I'm going with what I think is the canon explanation that Kagome's dad is no longer with them. According to some forums I found, apparently it was explained in one of the Japanese language series light novels that he was killed in a car crash maybe not long after Souta was born. Grandpa, of course, is Kagome's paternal grandfather, whom they moved in with.
Note 2: Hey! So I had no idea that chapter had gotten as long as it did! Since I've been writing it on and off over numberless cups of coffee and on probably at least three different forms of transportation, I was actually able to give you all a little more than I expected for this installment. I'm glad –that makes me happy since you're having to wait so long between chapters! Thanks again for your loyal support – your reviews are really a gift in my consistently upside down life, haha! Anyway, welcome as always to new readers ~ read, review, favorite/follow away! Origamikungfu.