Dying to Live
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. However, I do own the unique plot and characters of this story. Please respect mine and other writers' creative work. Also please see both notes following the chapter. Thanks, dear readers! Enjoy!
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Rin sat bolt upright in bed like one who had been drowning in the ocean, her mouth wide and gasping violently for air.
Fighting back the heavy fur and woolen covers of her sleep sack, her hands flew up to her chest. Her fingers worried shakily over the dry layers of her clothes, fearful of what she swore they would find. She looked down to double-check: there was no blood.
She looked around herself from side-to-side, too. The fire had burned almost entirely out, save for a few smoldering mites. Though it was dim, everything seemed quiet in their camp under the lethargically spreading dawn light. The others all appeared asleep. She apparently hadn't screamed, hadn't woken the others.
Everything's fine. Everything's fine, only a dream, she breathed more slowly, rubbing her chest in relief. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she wondered whether she had seen one of her travelling companions move in his sleep sack beside the last of the cooling embers. She was leaning forward in her bedding to see whom she may have woken when—
The splintering crack of dry wood immediately sent her on edge. In an instant, she'd craned her spine around nearly 180 degrees to look behind herself at the source of the alert. Wide eyed, she easily found the trespasser on the edge of camp and realized it was Kohaku. At identifying him, she let out a doubly heavy sigh.
"Sorry," he whispered embarrassedly. His freckles practically disappeared with his cheeks flushed deep red. Tiptoeing more gently, he apparently changed his mind about returning to bed and made to approach her bed instead. She hadn't noticed his bedding empty when she awoke. The way his fingers fretted to re-straighten the tie at his waist and the uneven bottom of his shirt revealed to her that he presently returned from answering nature's call. He raked a hand uneasily through his still bed mussed hair.
Crouching beside her, the boy softly regarded her past the sheaths of his shoulder-length black locks that had fallen back over his cheeks despite his ministrations. "I didn't mean to frighten you. Hey, you look sort of pale—are you alright?" he asked.
"I had a nightmare," she confessed shortly. Upon hearing this, Kohaku's gaze was so intently concerned she felt compelled to add: "About the wolves from last night."
"What happened? Did you dream that they did… something bad to you?" he breathed in question, his brows stitching together in worry.
She squirmed, immediately loath to recall the final terrifying image of the dream. "Yes, but it was only a dream," Rin replied, telling herself as much as Kohaku. She pushed back the blankets and stood. Kohaku followed her hesitantly in rising. He watched her glance up at the grey sky, visible only in tiny shards through the crowded tree tops. Nearly completely choked out by thick dark clouds and the leafy foliage, the light filtered down on them less bright than it was moist and green.
"It must be almost full light," she remarked. "I'll go fetch the water for breakfast now."
"I'll go with you," he offered, already grabbing the handles of the two steel cooking pots. Nodding she began to lead the way to the brook nearby but not before to turning back to camp at the shuffle of someone else's blanket. She was sure the sound had come from the far side of the ring of ashes, where only one of them kept his solitary bed…
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Unaware, Rin nibbled at one of her knuckles while Kohaku bent low with the lip of one of the pots in the water, collecting a portion of the gurgling current. Eager to distract away from memories of the nightmare, she allowed other thoughts to bubble up in her mind while she waited: Had Sesshomaru been awake just now? How long had he been awake? Did he know she had been awake too? No, he was probably only stirring in his sleep. Yes, that had to be all… Or perhaps he had been watching her; she hadn't caught him yet, but she was certain that she'd felt his eyes on her more than once in the past few weeks. Hmmm, perhaps... She sighed. Ugh, it was so stupid that they still weren't talking. But she'd decided, she wouldn't be the first to—
"Alright, got it," Kohaku said, gingerly climbing back over the rocky edge of the creek bed. Cautiously, he handed over the smaller of the two pots they'd use for drinking and dipping rags in to clean their faces.
For a moment they walked side-by-side through the trees in silence. Then: "You still thinking of it? The nightmare?" he asked.
Why? Rin thought pleadingly. So far she'd loved having Kohaku to talk to during the past few weeks. She even really felt like she had come to find a new friend in him on top of the eternal gratitude she owed him for saving her life earlier that winter. She was extremely thankful to him for all he did in regard to her. Especially considering the crazy mess into which her life seemed to be spiraling at the moment, it was important to have at least one ally. If not, she would've felt very alone with the extremely fair-weather one she already had to deal with… But she was also learning fast that having people around to socialize with meant you often wound up talking at times when you'd rather not.
Again that fear. That terrible, unexplained, feral horror that every once in a while took up residence in the pit of her stomach, entirely unbidden. She couldn't even recall the last time she'd felt it tearing at her insides it visited her so rarely; yet the sensation was so intense, the mark it left was deep and a round of shivers automatically ran down her spine. They made her knees lurch so sharply that she feared that if she didn't stop walking right then, all the water in the pot might slosh right to the ground. As it was, some splashed over the lip, coldly soaking the toe of her boot. Frozen, she bit her lip and watched as the dark stain settled into the soft leather.
"Rin? Rin?" Kohaku asked. Hesitantly, she looked up at him. The young demon slayer's openly sympathetic look portrayed nothing but caring and understanding. In a small, cool, collected corner of her mind, Rin felt ashamed at how horribly hostile her nerves must have made her look then; however, due to a near total invasion by her less pragmatic emotions, she just wasn't in full control of herself at the moment, mentally or physically.
Instead, her heart thudded so terribly fast and powerfully inside her chest that she wondered whether it might send her into collapse or a sprint in the opposite direction. As it was, her hands were slick with sweat like she'd already been tearing through the forest at top speed. Why couldn't he see that she had already stopped talking about that dream because she didn't want to talk about it anymore? She wouldn't think about their fangs, the blood, that screaming that wasn't just hers. I won't! I can't! she wished to scream at him, not even really knowing why she was so angry. She couldn't deny the aversion to the topic that pumped through her blood with every palpitation of her heart.
"Woah, hey," he cooed soothingly, as if whispering to a spooked horse, but it didn't bother her. Logically, she wanted to come back from her terror, but she needed help. Cautiously, he leaned forward until his face was only inches from hers. Although he wasn't touching her, she felt very close to him as she saw the warm mahogany of his eyes swimming closer in her vision. "It's okay, you don't have to talk about it," he spoke quietly. "I think I understand how you feel about it. There are just some things, terrible things, you can't talk about. I know— me too."
Really? she wanted to ask him, seeing the way his youthful features momentarily ripened into something sadder, even older at his last admission; however, her voice was still lost deep inside her somewhere. Then, his expression shifted again into something more certain and fitting of his age: his mouth lifted into a grin and his eyes glinted, while his right eyebrow slanted down into a rather dashing challenge.
"But you don't worry about anything! Miroku and I and the others will protect you and Sesshomaru. I swear I won't let anything happen to you!" he promised, and she couldn't help but smile a little at him in spite of the turmoil storming through her. The clouds within her began to part slightly. She wanted to be protected. If she could've spoken then, she would have wanted to agree, Yes, that's right, you will! We're not alone anymore, you are here. We will be okay.
"Okay?" he asked kindly, seeking acknowledgment of his pledge. Finding some of the intensity drain from her fears, she managed a tiny nod. "Good," the young demon slayer asserted. "Let's go back to camp then and start breakfast. The others will be awake soon." With that he resumed leading the way back through the trees.
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Alternating shifts of rain and drizzle unfortunately fell over their ride that day. They only made it halfway through breakfast when thunder began rumbling through the sky like it was the empty stomach of a god. They had saved time putting out the fire and cleaning the breakfast dishes thanks to the rain, but their clothes had also gotten soaked by the downfall that swiftly followed the sound of the storm's approach. Without shelter, it made no sense to change clothes before departing so they just donned their ponchos. But the tight air surrounding their bodies under the burlap quickly turned humid. Even blocked from the rain, they knew their clothes would not dry soon. They rode on in hot, sticky silence, under the percussive drumming of the rain on the surrounding forest.
Gradually, they descended from the forested heights around lunchtime, but so harassed by the weather, no one wanted to stop. Instead, they simply passed between their saddles a sack of salted, sundried, silver-scaled fish. Barely longer than a finger and with bones so tiny and delicate that they could be chewed when fully dehydrated, the fish normally made an excellent snack. Today though, the steamy rain only intensified the little creatures' already heady scent. They even lost their nice crunchiness. So joylessly, the travelers gnawed on the bits limp of meat. Soon enough, they finished the bag between all of them, with the exception of Sesshomaru, who probably would've turned up his nose at the fish even on a good day.
Leading their line as usual, Miroku struggled to keep his eyes open in the fuzzy, damp light. The Buddhist sighed drowsily and his stomach growled. There had been no apparent increase in the intensity of the daylight since dawn due to the thick clouds. Worse yet, the fish simply hadn't been enough to satisfy. And Kirara had fallen asleep under Miroku's poncho, huddled close to his back in the saddle. He mentally measured the giant circle of sweat uncomfortably spreading up the back of his shirt from where she lay like a hot water bottle against him. He wondered how the little demon could possibly sleep, let alone breathe in such heat. He was practically sweating buckets all over her! Then he remembered how flames could radiate from her very body, and suddenly he felt even hotter. He had just turned to reach under his poncho and see if he could get her to move over a little, when he heard Hachi's startled voice from behind him.
"Wha-what happened there?" asked the raccoon dog demon from the back of the mount he shared with Shippou. In his typical style, the pudgy demon's voice was all aquiver.
Miroku looked up. Through a natural part in the trees, his eyes fell on the charred remains that had drifted into sight like a ghost ship with each step of their horses. Steering his mount around a small crook in the trail that had become more of a defined path (usually a sign of approaching civilization) almost twenty minutes ago, he led them to what used to be the entrance of the property.
Riding closer to the badly scorched structure, Miroku glanced back in his brother-in-law's direction as the demon slayer and the others fanned out behind him. "Kohaku, Shippou: let's get a better look," he directed, gesturing the boy and demon over. Then, he made to dismount. Unexpectedly uncovered by Miroku's poncho, Kirara tucked her head further under her bushy tails in resistance to the sky's continuing, rainy spittle.
The ground let out a loud squashing sound as soon as Miroku landed, and the Buddhist winced. "Are you okay?" Rin asked in worry. Miroku guessed she must have mistaken the way his face scrunched up involuntarily for a look of pain. He waved away her concern with a tight-lipped smile, as he futilely lifted one sandaled foot. A sloppy mixture of mud and liquefied ash slid off the end of his big toe. A moment later, Kohaku and Shippou landed with two more squishes. Together they waded through the muck closer to the burn site.
Barely anything remained of the building. It was probably once a nice, extended, raised hut with room enough for one or two families to live and work together. Now, the only recognizable remnants were the ash painted stubs of eight, thick supporting beams that stood in pairs. Where they stood in an L-shape, all of the supports had burned within knee height of the ground. Absolutely nothing but unrecognizable, watered-down dust was left of the flooring. The stale, acrid scent of the soupy, ashy slush turned Miroku's stomach. Still looking for anything noteworthy, he rounded the blackened edge of the well that had been in the front yard. Kohaku and Shippou had stopped beside another dark square of scorched earth opposite the decimated home. Its shape and size hinted at a phantom storage shed or livestock shelter, although no readily visible bits of metal tools or bones identified it truly.
The fire must have burned incredibly fast and hot to leave so little behind the monk concluded. That probably ruled out an accidental lamp or cooking fire, which might have started more slowly and someone probably would have tried to stop before the whole house and shed went up in smoke. He rather had an unsettling sense, maybe caused by the aura of the place, that the conflagration must have occurred at night. If so, the inhabitants undoubtedly perished. Living so far from the village, there would have been no one else to notice the flames and wake them…
An eerie chill ran down Miroku's spine. His heart nearly stopped at the sound of a squeaky, frightened shriek. Everyone's attention flipped in a flash to the kitsune.
"Shippou! What's the matter?!" The words tumbled anxiously from Kohaku's mouth. Being nearest, he reached their friend's side first.
"Ahhhh! Gedditoff gedditoff gedditoffffff!" Shippou wailed. He swept wildly at his face, as Miroku and Kohaku, as well as Kirara, leaned in closer to see the problem. Meanwhile Rin and Hachi held their breath at distance. Sesshomaru observed in stoic silence from farthest away, likely glad to be momentarily forgotten.
"Shippou, stop that for a moment and let us see," Miroku urged the panicked young demon. Complying hesitantly, Shippou pulled one hand from his perfectly arched brow. They looked to see his fingertips covered with dark, soiled liquid, more of which was splashed across the kitsune's forehead and delicate button nose.
Slowly, everyone looked up to see the source. Overhead, they found only the stretched arms of the trees. The lowest branches were entirely bare and carbon coated, obviously licked by the lethal blaze.
"Oh, ha ha," Shippou laughed hollowly, realizing the foolishness of his anguish and earning blank stares from the others. "It must only have been a big raindrop!" As if on cue, a small breeze blew and more dirty rain water showered down from the naked branches onto the faces of the little group below. Disgusted and grumbling, everyone rubbed their faces with their sleeves while their nerves settled.
Miroku looked around at their group. Surrounded by the slightly disturbing fragments of destroyed house, everyone wore reasonably lost and forlorn looks. "Let's head on," Miroku suggested, earning the others' ready approval. "I think we're nearing a village. Maybe someone can tell us about what happened here after we arrive."
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Hey all, two notes this time: be sure to read both of them.
Note 1: I'm finally backkkkkkk! Woot! The days have flown since I returned from all my moving about, but I finally settled down enough this week to plot out the next few chapters! :D :D :D This one's a bit short, but good enough to get our story ball rolling again. It's great to be back ~ missed you, dear readers!
Also special thanks to those of you who favorited/followed Dying to Live during the mini hiatus. Hope you like what you find here and let me know what you think! Origamikungfu.
Note 2: IMPORTANT- I need your help, lovely readers: If you see this story appearing on any writer's profile or other website, please PM me immediately. I have seen this happen to other stories on FF before and am concerned after recently finding a rogue link that it might be a problem for Dying to Live. Please help me protect my work. If someone wishes to use aspects of this fic, please contact me first. Remember, plagiarism is theft.