Dying to Live

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

Note 1: I probably should have added the note in an earlier chapter, but to any naginata enthusiasts, please pardon my efforts to write about it. I have been researching and reviewing videos about it. Still, having never seen one in person and not being a historian, I do my best and lean on a bit of creative license sometimes. Thanks for understanding!

:::

Though the next morning dawned grey, as if promising rain, Sesshomaru did not allow himself to be deterred from setting out early while the others still slept.

The barest hints of light were in the sky to the east, so he knew the sun had in fact started its ascent. To the West though, thunder roared, low and menacing in the distance.

Sesshomaru still pushed through his workout, a man determined. The exertion of a brisk run through the trees followed by another crack at climbing the big tree with the rope in his hands easily sent him into a sweat in the humid morning air.

The whole act of exercising was essentially accessory to his most central plans of what to do with the rest of his existence. He allowed himself this much though: he had been making good progress. With the tree climbing, he was not only finding the technique that worked but was also pleased to notice that his legs and back had strengthened noticeably even in a relatively short time.

When his arms and back were thoroughly stretched and the pads of his hands were aching and also almost raw from the rope, he hurried to his bathing spot. With his typical routine and some very cursory ablutions finished, he set out to the weaponsmith's village, according to his mental agenda for the day.

Once he arrived, having power-walked the distance to get there, the man appeared to be waiting for him. On the table that sat outside the workshop, Sesshomaru immediately walked over to find his items laid out for inspection, prepared to be wrapped and taken.

Unsure whether to be surprised or not - so far the smith had shown himself satisfactory in his work - Sesshomaru did favor the man's efficiency. The additional naginata stock and two sets of bamboo training blades with matching leather caps were made per his order as promised. Finding the items fit to his request, Sesshomaru agreed to have everything wrapped up for carrying, when he thought to ask the man for one more item.

More than a little compliant, the man went directly into his shop upon hearing the request. For the few moments he was inside searching for the requested item, Sesshomaru pondered the man's helpfulness. He decided that the gold he had paid the other day must have contributed greatly to the man's clear change in service.

Not too long after, the man emerged from his shop again, but he appeared to be holding not one but two items.

"Okyakusama, you're in luck - I had some spare of what you asked for," he explained, striding over and extending a small, paper-wrapped packet. Sesshomaru noted that this did not explain the second item.

The Former Lord of the West cocked an eyebrow to which he found the man was giving him a look.

It was by no means a malicious sort of expression, on the contrary, it was by all accounts probably more a cross between friendliness and subservience.

Still, it was to the likes of which Sesshomaru did not particularly like, and the man's words confirmed it too: "And I have something else I'd like to throw in - for your generosity."

So there it was. Some minutes later, as the day moved on into midmorning - fortunately rainless despite the storms that seemed to skirt around their area - Sesshomaru walked with his burden.

His new gear swung slightly with the move of his gait, packaged up and slung as it was over his shoulder. Meanwhile the complimentary item swayed from his opposite hand, which clutched the leather straps bound around the thing. He watched the unnecessarily heavy item dangling from his clutch with narrowed eyes.

A bottle of sake: he had tried to decline it.

What care did he have for the drink? It had been fine the few times he'd had it with Rin, possibly even enjoyable. It didn't look like it was to be repeated though, as by his own designs, they weren't really on such close terms. More than that though, he had not requested the sake.

Yet, the weaponsmith insisted.

Overpaying the man had apparently been a mistake, Sesshomaru had finally concluded. The smith simply did not take "no" for an answer. The human had bound the blue lacquerware jar up in the leather cord. Choking on his chagrin, Sesshomaru still did not fully understand how he'd failed to resist, as the alcohol had been shoved into his hands in record speed.

Efficiency, his ass - the smith had been efficient alright, he thought with a crassness that was growing less rare in his thoughts. The former Lord of the West shook his head again. Fortunately, Sesshomaru did not envision needing to return to the smith's again, and endure anymore undesired, "complimentary" items.

Perhaps Rin would like the drink? He thought, as he watched the thing swing from his hand. Maybe he would leave it behind for her eventually. If the distinctive look of the lacquerware jar was any indicator, it was probably of a fine enough quality. She could resell or do with it as she pleased once he was gone.

No sooner had he thought of the young woman than his eyes darted up to the path ahead. Lost in his harried thoughts, he had progressed on his path much farther than he had expected. He had returned to the general area not far from the caves where they camped. Noticing movement a short distance away, he quickly recognized the fall of long, dark hair, the gentle slope of the small shoulders and the grey fabric of Rin's borrowed clothes.

Walking away quickly with her back to him, Sesshomaru realized that he remembered this spot. He had encountered Rin walking up the slope. He estimated it had to be some paces to the right from where he presently stood, just on the other side of some trees.

Hadn't it been about this time of the day when he had last found her here before? Now that Sesshomaru spotted her hurriedly coming from the same place again on the forested path, the wheels in his mind started to turn.

How curious, he thought to himself. At some point, the former demonic lord would probably come to his senses. Sesshomaru would realize and tell himself that he likely didn't have nearly enough to do these days, worrying over small matters, like anywhere Rin chose to take her walks; yet, in that particular moment he chose to remain discrete, rather than call out or draw Rin's notice. As she disappeared on the trail ahead, he made a mental note to explore this area she frequented more later.

What if it was a dangerous area that she had been going to without even realizing? Really though, he had noticed so much before, but the young human was quite careless about going out on her own.

Surely, it was probably another bad habit made in her over-reliance on his nigh-omnipotent power as a daiyoukai. If nothing else though, he would make sure she disavowed such carefree behavior in the course of his training her.

Still not wanting to give the impression of having followed Rin - she had behaved oddly enough before when he'd run into her - Sesshomaru decided to detour by his usual bathing spot again. Though he had cleaned up before heading to the smith's, springtime was arriving warm and wet, so he splashed some of the cool water from the flowing creek over his face, neck and chest.

He also took a moment to glance at his hands. Sesshomaru scoffed, finding dark lines of grime had worked up under his nails. Fortunately, the dull little things had regrown after he'd ruined them in Harumura Village. They had been sacrificed during his episode of absolute angst there. He had promised himself not to forget the episode entirely, but which he still didn't savor thinking of more than necessary.

Normally, he wouldn't have cared about the grime, but today he planned to be closer to his student than usual. Etiquette training from his youth dictated that abject filth was not to be borne in such close social situations, including among the self-respecting demonic elite. Had he still had his claws, he'd be sure to clean them under the circumstances.

Sesshomaru dunked his hands in the freshwater, working until the dirt was fully washed away and then checked his palms as well. At the sight of a few angry blisters that had reopened from his morning tree climbing, he knew he couldn't do much to reverse that. At least, he had learned something important from damaging his hands, and he had vowed to take better heed of new lessons. Still, it did nothing to decrease his distaste for having such fragile skin.

When he returned, he barely noted that the fox and the slayer were absent. However, Sesshomaru did notice, as he found Rin supervising the wolf demons, as they took care of their daily task of caring for Kouga. He would have denied it had anyone asked, but Sesshomaru still found something inescapably unsettling about looking over the other former demon's limp, unconscious form.

He had observed over the days and just listening to Rin, Hakkaku, and Ginta when he didn't care to look, that many of Kouga's sores and wounds had mostly healed. His caregivers now just struggled with a few on his back. Rin had lamented that these had turned into bed sores despite their efforts to carefully clean his skin and frequently change the bedding. The wolf demons had then started taking more efforts to prop up and reposition the man's body each day. Sesshomaru knew that when he had awoken he had had a few smaller sores of the same kind too, but they had generally healed once he was strong enough to sit up regularly.

At the moment, Kouga still did not look like he would be sitting up on his own anytime soon. Rin had commented that his body temperature had been more normal of late, a good sign she thought, but otherwise the man looked dead. His skin was grey and dull; his veins had fallen away from the surface of his weakened flesh, as they could only get so much fluid into him in his unconscious state. All Kouga's bones stood out around his muscles, wasting away as they were.

The sight of the former wolf youkai was painful. Sesshomaru knew especially all too well: he had been just like Kouga - and in an even worse off state based on things that Rin and Miroku had said.

Seeing how the wolves refused to leave Kouga made something else tighten in Sesshomaru's gut too.

What if Kouga never awoke? Would the two wolf demons refuse to leave his side? They themselves could waste their lives away, believing they could keep a man somewhere in the twilight between life and death from fading away.

Sesshomaru could not picture tethering himself to such an endeavor, one far more hopeless and unnatural than the current mission he had set himself on where Rin was concerned. Rin was alive and active at least, and Sesshomaru was simply making sure to better her odds of keeping it that way; but with Kouga, it would be better to let death take its course, wouldn't it?

But what about Rin he thought again. With the young woman's foolish concepts of loyalty, she could have easily been tied to Sesshomaru's unconscious form, just like the wolves, had he never awoken.

As he walked on his way to his place by the side of the fire, Sesshomaru couldn't stop himself. His thoughts spiraled.

He could not decide what was worse: the wolf demons languishing and possibly never recovering over the slow wasting away of their comrade over the course of decades of their disproportionately long and supernatural lives; or Rin quickly burning away the remainder of her too-short and menial human existence in a reality where Sesshomaru himself never regained consciousness.

The former demon lord's stomach churned unexpectedly. It struck him suddenly, as he also began to see that maybe Jaken had been right to leave him.

Shaken by his thoughts as he was, somewhere in the mix, the unspoken twinge Sesshomaru still felt at his vassal's desertion seemed to dull a bit. He realized it was ridiculous that he cared what Jaken had done. Still, it all left him feeling unusually sick and claustrophobic.

He put his cargo down in the cave before forcing himself back outside to walk a bit more. Lunch wasn't ready yet with Rin otherwise distracted, and his swirling thoughts needed to settle before he could contemplate eating. He needed to be able to eat, if he and Rin were going to train as he'd planned that afternoon.

Sighing, he pushed his anxious thoughts down with every step over the rocky, forested terrain. He did it with difficulty, as he couldn't fully ignore what he seemed to think about all too often these days - at least it remained better than most of what he could think about: his duty.

Sesshomaru needed to equip Rin with the skills he had to impart and toughen her up quickly. Then, he reminded himself yet again. He would have to go quickly before his own raw, increasingly hard-to-discern emotions or simple Misfortune itself could toss her any more troubles on his account. This cosmic-seeming game between their fates needed to end.

:

Though she worked with Ginta and Hakkaku on cleaning out the sores on Kouga's back, Rin had still noticed Sesshomaru, as he came and went just as quickly from the cave. She often awoke these days to find him already out of bed and away from the cave even early in the morning.

She didn't pretend to know where he went all the time. Things were fortunately reaching cordial terms between them, but she certainly didn't really expect he would be cluing her into his cryptic behaviors anytime soon.

Which was fine, she told herself, perhaps a bit too pointedly, but who was measuring anyway. Besides, Rin finally had taken to stealing a few minutes away to herself each morning too.

When she started doing so, it wasn't as if she hadn't realized that there was some chance of running into him going about the woods. Naturally, it was better if she didn't, based on her distinct need of alone time, which her subconscious had begun to demand despite her mental efforts otherwise.

Therefore, it had actually scared her the day prior when she ran into him. She had been coming up the sloped trail she had been getting familiar with for about the past week or so, as she went off on her own each morning. She supposed it had been ridiculous of her to think that he had really come far enough down the trail to have really gotten a sense of anything she was up to...

Rather, in hindsight, she knew it was ridiculous because of how self-absorbed he seemed each morning with whatever he clearly had planned for himself.

Otherwise, he had started making it back regularly to eat with her and the rest of their group since they had come to camp in the cave. Given the lengths she had gone to only the season before to get him to eat regularly at all, she couldn't deny this was finally a welcome change. So when he came back that afternoon just as she was serving the meal, she made sure she had set some aside for him. He still wasn't a big eater, but he did eat what she put in his bowl most days now.

She was chewing on a chunk of the pheasant that Shippou had brought them, when the sound of her name startled her.

"Rin."

Her eyes traveled up from where she sat between her cooking pot and Ginta. Sesshomaru was standing right next to her. She had not even heard him approach from the distant place around the fire where he often went off to eat on his own.

Dazed and with food in her mouth, the words did not escape her.

Surprisingly, he pushed on from where he stood over her, "I would like to eat a bit more since I was out… walking more often than usual today. Is it in that pot there?"

Rin nearly choked on the bit of food in her mouth.

Sesshomaru, wanting seconds of her food? He said why clearly, but she still found it hard to comprehend. Also they still had hardly talked outside of her naginata training in weeks. "H-hai, I'll get you some," she finally managed. It was really only luck that she had any extra to give him, as Kohaku had not returned with Shippou from hunting. Rather, he had sent word with the kitsune that he would visit Harumura Village for the afternoon to see if there were any updates about the demonic wolves or the black InuDaiypukai.

Rin started to put her own meal aside and clamor up to serve Sesshomaru whatever was left in the pot.

"No," he stopped her, putting out a hand. Rin didn't know what her face must have looked like, but it must have been confused enough that he added, "I'll get it myself, thank you."

–Thank you.

The urge to fall over in shock hit Rin hard at the sound of those two words coming from his mouth in this situation.

She was still getting over the amazement of his apology to her the other day. Necessary though it was for her to hear him say it, she still could not believe such an obsessively proud being had really uttered it.

The young woman did not even resist the urge to stare at her former-lord another moment. However, distracted with lifting the lid on the pot and spooning more stew into his dish, Sesshomaru seemed oblivious. Once he had finished, he returned the lid to top of the pot and returned to his side of the fire like it had never happened.

By the time lunch had concluded, the usual time for their training arrived, and Rin had again spent more time dissecting the use of two words by Sesshomaru than she cared to admit. With nothing to go on, she had drawn exactly no useful conclusions, to which she felt embarrassed. When Rin had noticed him making the usual preparations to go, she warned herself to cool down. She got herself ready to go as well, packing some water into a canteen, since with the weather growing warmer they would need it.

Having finished his meal, Shippou had moved toward the cave opening. He sat with his back against the cave wall with his long, glamourized legs, stretched out and crossed over at the knees while he picked his teeth.

When they approached to leave, the kitsune inclined his head to look up at them. He tried to stiffen his expression into something a bit more commanding, clearly studied from the slayer. Yet, even to Rin, the effect came across too petulant to be at all foreboding. The look of his sweet features wouldn't do him any good in that department. Rin considered herself a good judge of this by comparison, as the Lord of the West had always been a master of icy looks. It was a skill that had not been lost with his humanity, if the frigid look he returned to the fox was any indication.

Unease easily cracked the younger male's show of looking tough. Still, the fox managed to ask the usual cursory questions that came up whenever his friend's charges, especially Sesshomaru, headed out for the afternoon. Like clockwork, Sesshomaru answered what they were doing in his usual economical way. Without a drop in masterfully stony demeanor, all he offered was: "Training."

As Rin had also observed it, Shippou's eyes ran over a new, long, packaged-up item that hung from Sesshomaru's shoulder. However, when Sesshomaru did not make to say anything further, the demon seemed forced to give up and simply let them go.

"Same damn hassle every day," Rin heard Sesshomaru grumble under his breath once they were a few extra strides away from the cave.

While Sesshomaru's complaint had not really been directed at Rin for her reply, it was clear something had him feeling talkative today. She grew even more curious to know what had him in such a mood.

They came to their training ground between the trees at last. On the way, small patches of bright, green moss springing out in rich emerald-hued patches on the forest floor caught Rin's eye. Paired with the young grass that was inching higher by the day, it was obvious as the bareness of winter slowly slipped away.

More signs of spring surrounded the two of them, as Sesshomaru stopped directly in the middle of their usual clearing beneath the trees. Over their heads where Rin came to stand at her instructor's side, tiny bright purple flower buds had grown in with the small leaves sprinkling the tips of the thin, new branches. Her sheathed naginata hung from the strap on her left shoulder and the canteen was slung across from her right side. Today, a few birds were chirping back and forth somewhere out of sight, and Sesshomaru turned to face her head-on.

"As promised, I have brought some new items for our use in training," he started. "Let us kneel on the ground facing each other, so I can show you what to do after you unwrap your weapon."

Rin nodded, careful to control her eagerness at his having something new for them to do that day.

The last couple days it seemed like her training had been progressing slowly. She did know she had herself to blame for this, having complained that his instruction was at first too aggressive. Now, it had felt like he was taking things at an overly cautious pace.

Despite her excitement, Rin managed to keep her hands steady, as she carefully opened and spread the folds of the fabric over the ground so that her naginata was lying perfectly in the middle with the blade still sheathed.

She admired the rich looking wooden stock until she noticed that Sesshomaru had opened his own pack to reveal a similar though more roughly worn stock along with two more parcels - one wrapped in fabric and the other in paper.

Curiosity got the better of her, as her eyes grew wide. "Is that another naginata?" she asked, gesturing at what now lay in front of him.

"Yes, it is," he said. To her surprise, he carried on with his explanation, "This one here is for me to use. I realized from your requests that you might benefit from watching me demonstrate how to wield it. There are also more exercises we can do together to strengthen your coordination with it."

Rin nodded enthusiastically, but a moment later, she spoke the next question that came to mind: "Why doesn't yours have a blade?"

Her question was answered just as soon, as he unwrapped the fabric covered parcel in front of him. Sesshomaru set the fabric aside and grasped two sets of curved bamboo slats in his large hand.

"It doesn't need a steel blade because I'll only use it for instructing you. I should have thought of it before, but now we'll swap your blade for bamboo slats as well. This should make things safer while you're still a novice," he explained.

Expertly, he fitted a set of the slats to his stock, and affixed them with a length of tough looking fabric that wrapped and tightened in a tied knot around the place where the slats slid into the stock.

Rin watched in fascination, appreciating the confident, deft movements of his long fingered hands, as he demonstrated how to handle the weapon.

While she had been around Sesshomaru for many years with his collection of demonic weapons, she had noticed he had always favored a few particular battle swords. However, she had never really paid attention to any maintenance he had paid them, much less he certainly never invited her to do any such thing with him.

The young woman's curiosity could hardly have increased anymore, except that no sooner had he finished equipping his own naginata stock with the slats and a small leather cap at the end, he started moving around to her side.

Rin's heart skipped a beat in spite of itself. She could not recall ever having seen Sesshomaru's form bent in such a posture while outdoors, as he stayed crouched low on his haunches, situating himself to the side of her right hand. When he was close enough that their folded thighs could have touched, he spoke again: "This time I will do it to show you the safest way to disconnect the steel blade. It's very sharp, so if you are not careful, you will be cut. Watch closely."

Naturally, she nodded dutifully, though with his proximity, it was certainly a bit harder to focus than she would have liked to admit.

She had also begun to pay more attention to a new habit of his that he apparently liked to remove his outer haori jacket whenever they were out training. Rin had always known in a somewhat obscure way that he could be discerning about his clothes. As a demonic lord, his silks were consummately spotless and absolutely never out of place unless he had literally just stepped out of a battle, and few battles proved enough to even put a single crease in the fabric of one of his sleeves, let alone dishevel his attire in the least. In fact, even when they stopped at his manor for brief rests over the years, he occasionally removed his armor, but otherwise Rin had never seen him with so much as his haori removed.

Now, in spite of her efforts to maintain her calm and not get all worked up over his person, she could not help noticing as she had in the prior days the way his body moved under the single layer of fabric of his plain white kosode. She could tell he had washed his shirt recently, making the material stiff. Yet, she could see the outlines of his muscles under the much thinner material - definitely much better than when he had the haori on too.

She felt her face getting warm at what was getting to be a new mantra. She derided herself; these were exactly the type of fruitless and scandalous thoughts that could only get her in trouble.

Was it not bad enough that she had her dirty dream of him just the other night, cementing it directly into her fantasies? That at least had thankfully forced her to understand the depth of her denial that her anger had been conveniently occluding.

Unfortunately, the revelation of his apology also still had her weakly rethinking things all over again…

Indeed, getting over her long term pining for Sesshomaru, both physical and emotional, was clearly not going to be just a basic case of mind over matter. Rin couldn't let him know how she felt, but since her feelings refused to be so easily extinguished, she had decided that fretting and getting angry with herself for their presence wasn't going to help.

Rin would fight through, and deal with her apparently unbreakable attraction to the thought of him on her own time - plain and simple.

But now, she had to shift her gaze elsewhere, so she opted for a glance at his face.

This also still got her heart fluttering sometimes in spite of everything she told herself, but at least those thoughts were generally less salacious and easier to let pass. She knew she should watch his hands, but she could not help but appreciate the calm, unconcerned expression he wore. How easy all of this was for him. It made her think of better times before his transformation. Times when he had last looked as though he was at home in the world, certain of everything and anything he led them through.

That was before calamity struck and, left optionless, Rin had made a decision that assured a reality where all that was torn away from him. The recent increase in time, rest, and perspective available to her had allowed Rin more time to contemplate Sesshomaru's stubborn and enduring sense of tragedy. It made her heart clench to know the hand she had played in it after finding him left for dead. She now understood better that she would probably regret his anguish for all the rest of her association with him. Still, she also knew that she had tried her best and could not go on as a martyr for anyone's bad temper just because the image she held of him in her memories still made her weak in the knees.

Again, fortunately for Rin, the steps to remove the blade did not look particularly difficult, despite the way she had been splitting her attention. Rin soon enough had herself back under control to study how he had wrapped the blades up inside the weapon's hard sheath to store them safely. A moment later, he had her fit the bamboo slats into the stock of her own weapon and tie it up tightly. Working carefully, she did it with little trouble before he gestured for her to hand the stock to him.

Careful to show Rin how to handle the naginata in good form, between his finger and thumb, he grabbed the blade shaped slats from the end opposite the side representing the cutting edge. Rin smiled when, after he gave the bamboo a firm jiggle, he hn'd approvingly.

"This is good - well done," he bestowed in a rare compliment before covering the slats with another leather cap. Rin hoped his words hadn't caused an involuntary blush on her part.

You've got this, Rin, she told herself. She was not going to be as silly as she had been in their initial lessons. She wanted to be taken seriously, because while being trained in the naginata was useful, her subliminal habit of lusting after him was not.

It was lucky this strong reminder finally got her to settle down her thoughts, because then he set her naginata aside back down on its cloth covering. He made a long-armed reach to grab the paper wrapped packet that sat by his own weapon before shuffling on his knees to kneel directly facing Rin.

They were well under an arm's length apart.

At this distance, she could easily see the flecked dark and light hues of his greyish-brown irises. Rin swallowed, and thought about how they had not been this close together since the day he had come up behind her.

Sesshomaru gazed at her for a long moment. When he inhaled deeply, as if to speak, but then closed his mouth again, Rin began to wonder.

Hesitant seeming, the former demon finally settled on what he had in mind and reopened his mouth.

"I- If you don't mind, would you please allow me to touch your hands?" he asked.

:

Sesshomaru did not know what it was - maybe it was the look in Rin's eyes. Somewhat thoughtlessly, he had been looking right at her when he had said it, but he realized the request had come out of his mouth somehow sounding very odd.

In need of a distraction, he quickly bent over to the side and opened the paper packet on the ground beside his knee. He straightened up again with the unfurled item dangling clearly over his hand.

"You see, it's a set of fabric hand wraps. They will protect your hands when we train for longer hours, as you've requested," he added, hoping to cover the apparent awkwardness from the moment prior. "I admit, I wore them rarely in battle in the past, as youkai hardly need them unless a battle stretches on for days. However, for that reason, I do know how to use them. Since your skin is far more fragile, I felt this made sense. Now, put out your hands, and I'll wrap them for you to see the correct way this time."

He breathed a silent sigh of relief, as this explanation seemed to help. When he lowered his hand to accept one of her hers, she moved to place her hand palm up in his before suddenly –

"Sesshomaru!" Rin gasped, causing him to nearly jump back in startlement.

What could it be? His mind rushed. Had he not asked her politely enough or given enough warning that he intended to touch her?

Fears founded on the occasion when she had backed up and smacked him in the jaw rushed into his mind until she spoke again. "Sesshomaru, your hands again - what happened?" she breathed, leaning in for a closer look.

He sighed, understanding that her concern was over the blisters. Something in his stomach curled slightly uncomfortably, as he got a whiff of her soft, sweet scent. She had leaned toward him to look at the offending marks.

Distantly, he hated again even more that the ugly sores had reopened on the pads of his hands that morning. He tried to be casual about it when he replied.

"Oh, yes, the blisters. I'm sorry if they disgust you - that's actually what I hope to prevent by wrapping your hands, if you can bear with i-" the former Lord of the West almost finished before the woman interrupted.

"No, that's not it - they look so painful. The sores might not heal well if you keep them open like that," she lamented, looking at him anxiously.

"Ok, well I'll be wrapping them now, along with yours, and then I'll cover them again later," Sesshomaru explained, cutting in again. He managed to loop the length of fabric between her right forefinger and thumb to get it started.

After he rolled the wrap around her wrist and the center of her hand a few times, he paused to look at Rin again. "How does it feel?" he asked, giving a tug on the fabric.

Her face flickered almost imperceptibly, but he didn't miss the nearly hidden flinch, even though she responded, "I-It's fine."

His look turned stern immediately. "No, it's probably too tight," he said, giving voice to her expression, since for some reason, she had not. "If something is hurting you, you should say so, instead of going around looking out for everyone but yourself all the time."

Across from him, Rin had averted her eyes.

It may have sounded harsh, Sesshomaru realized that. This had to be a part of Rin's training though. Sesshomaru could train her in everything else he had to offer her, but it was getting clear to him that her blind selflessness would not necessarily assure her survival.

Soon she placed her other hand in his hold. Subliminally, he noticed the soft, warm touch of the back of her small hands against his fingertips. The former demon determined not to dwell on it though, as he finished wrapping her hands, and except for when he checked her comfort, he noticed that the young woman kept quiet. Soon, he had his own hands wrapped as well, and he motioned for them to take up their weapons and rise.

To Sesshomaru's pleasure, the afternoon then proceeded essentially according to his plan. Move by move, he taught Rin the first training sequence students learned for sparing.

The hours passed by and the sunlight moved across the sky, changing its colors beyond the reach of the trees above their training ground.

Able to extend their training per Rin's wish, by the time early evening approached, Sesshomaru had guided Rin through her first successful full execution of the sequence. Her face finally split out into a wide grin that he had not seen in so much time that he didn't really know when she had smiled like that last.

Then, he had been surprised when she asked to repeat it twice more. The wooden clack of the bamboo slats rang out in perfect rhythm through the trees, as they faced each other knocking their weapons together in very slow but perfect timing.

Even Sesshomaru could not help but smile a bit as he took in Rin's better-than-expected results, relieved that he had apparently finally found the way to train her.

:::

Note 2: Hi guys, I just wanted to let you know that I did a bit of updating on "Chapter 43". Honestly, the edits weren't really anything too substantial, so there isn't any need to go back and re-read for plot reasons. However, I realized that there were some more words of context and just some basic improvements on the wording and grammar I could use to make Sesshomaru's thoughts flow and make better sense.

Note 3: Hope you all continue to enjoy! Going to share a few posts on Tumblr of a little music that inspired some of the writing too. Feel free to stop by and have a look! Cheers, Origamikungfu.