Chapter 93

Dr, McGonagall

"Is it time for my weekly therapy session?" Sirius asked before McGonagall even had time to remember why he was in her classroom at four o'clock in the afternoon.

"If you keep it up it'll become a daily session, Black." She replied when she finally realized he was here for detention. "I still cannot understand what possessed you to jinx Miss Evans like that."

"Snape did it first."

"For some reason I have trouble believing he was unprovoked."

"Of course he was, we're the good guys, Professor."

McGonagall sighed and shook her head, choosing to let the subject drop as she erased the blackboard of notes for her seventh year NEWT students (not that any one of those students had even understood what had been written there.)

"How long has Potter fancied Evans?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. When he'd come in for detention (he wasn't exactly sure what prank this detention was a result of anymore, though it seemed as though she would be punishing him for what had happened earlier this week) he hadn't expected the conversation to head into the territory of school-girl gossip.

McGonagall noticed his expression and explained.

"The way he talked it sounded as though it was a recent development, however his eyes told a much different story." the Professor gave him a serious look, and even he didn't think it was something to joke about.

Sirius gave an exasperated sigh, not unlike McGonagall's, "he's been trying to get her to go out with him since March. He thinks, emphasis on thinks, he's fancied her since last November. But he's in denial, and has fancied her at least a little bit since first year."

"I see." Minerva finished with the chalkboard and cleaned the eraser's out with magic. She could have just cleaned the chalkboard with magic but she found wiping the board clean after a lesson strangely satisfying.

"Why?" Sirius asked, this detention was quickly turning into one of the many less punishing and more thought provoking detentions. Which considering he'd flipped a girl upsidown with no way to reverse it only five days ago was a little surprising.

She didn't answer at first. Her mind raced, and it wasn't because James and Lily were such opposites. In truth she thought they could make a great couple, when James matured at least. No her thoughts were more focused in the direction of Sirius Black.

"And how do you feel about his attraction to her?" She asked, sitting down and looking at him intently.

"How do I feel? This really is a therapy session isn't it."

"This time it's intentional." She said calmly, his joking smile wavered but didn't fall. No, it would take a little more effort than that to see past his carefree mask.

"I'm not sure what you want. I mean I think it's dumb, she's like the only girl in the school who wouldn't date him. But I suppose I can see the attraction in that. I can't see what he likes about her really. I mean I guess she's a little pretty, especially this year, she grew a little, and I'm not talking about height. Personality wise though she's pretty stiff, and really boring. And personally I can't find any attraction in a girl who's got such poor taste in friends."

Sirius talked for quite a while but didn't really say anything.

And that is what McGonagall had been looking for when she'd asked. In telling her nothing about how he felt he told her all she needed to know.

"Black," She interrupted, stopping him before he could continue to count the number of times Lily had attempted to tell them off (even though she had absolutely no authority to do so.)

"What?" He said, noticeably more subdued. He'd been rambling and he knew it.

Sirius Black did not ramble on about nothing, it just wasn't his style. Minerva knew she'd touched a nerve with her question.

"Now that you told me what everyone expects you to say, why don't you tell me the truth."

Sirius' mouth opened but no sound came out. He couldn't help but remember that she was the only adult who'd seen him cry since he was five years old.

How do you hide something from someone like that?

He slowly closed his mouth again and he looked at his neglected textbook.

She considered whether she should break the silence after he mentally argued with himself about his answer, but ultimately decided against it. Like Sirius she couldn't remember exactly what deviance had caused this particular detention and she couldn't justify scolding him for something she couldn't even remember happening, that's why so many of their detentions turn into so-called "therapy sessions."

It was a full ten minutes before he finally decided to trust her.

"I'm a little scared." He said quietly. Her gaze returned to him, having begun to grade papers as she had no desire to stare at him for ten minutes.

"Of what?" She asked, though she already knew the answer. It was important that he acknowledge his fear and the reason for it. It was much easier to face a fear that you thoroughly understood then one that was unknown.

"What if he doesn't need me anymore?"

McGonagall couldn't help but be reminded of the twelve year old that sat in the entryway of the castle crying because his werewolf friend needed him and there was nothing he could do. She often wondered if he still cried on full moons as she'd noticed he no longer sat there in the moonlight waiting for the sun to rise.

"He never really needed me to begin with...I just wanted to be needed."

"There is a little truth to what you say." She concluded and he finally looked at her, surprise written in his expression. "When he came to Hogwarts James already had close friends and was surrounded by those who loved him. So in truth you're right, there is very little to suggest he needed you."

Sirius' eyes fell and his fists clenched on his lap.

"In fact it is easy to say he didn't need you at all... At least not in the way you needed him. But that does not mean he hasn't benefited greatly by your friendship. You don't have to need something for it to prove beneficial. Yes, you do need him, but as more than just a friend. He has become something like a mentor to you, and through him you have learned how, as you deemed them earlier, the "good guys" behave and react to the world around us. As a result both of you have grown stronger and more responsible. There is a clear difference between you now and how you were when you entered the Gryffindor House, but there is a difference in him as well. And that is something he never would have achieved on his own."

"Yeah, and then if Evans actually says yes even that goes away."

McGonagall gave him a long look before answering. "I can't see Potter ever wanting to replace you."

"What good am I if she becomes his best friend?"

"There's a difference between a girlfriend and a best friend, Sirius. There will always be things he can share with you that he would never tell his girlfriend."

"Sure, I guess." Sirius sighed, his cheek resting on his fist as he slouched over the desk, looking at, but not reading his book.

"It's something you'll learn, in time." She turned back to the papers in her hands. "And speaking of learning, you passed this morning's test, not quite with flying colors, but it is your best grade yet."

"Are you for real?!" He stood from his seat and looked across the desk at her trying to peek at the test to no avail. She tore it from his line of sight.

"You can see it when everyone else does."

"Aww, no fair."

"I'll have none of your whinging, Black. I've told you more than any of the other students know."

"Yeah, but..." he waved off knocking his bookbag to the floor and wincing at the loud crash it caused. "Oops."

"What is that?" She picked up a small black box with buttons along the side as she helped him pick up the fallen contents of the bag.

"Oh, it's Remus' his dad got it for him. It doesn't work here at school though." Sirius answered taking the little box. "It's a cassette player." He pushed one of the buttons and the top popped open revealing the cassette inside. "There's music on this thing, apparently, and when you put it in the box correctly you're supposed to be able to hear it. Sounds neat, I was hoping I could get it to work for him so he let me borrow it."

"I see, and how were you going to go about doing that?" She asked returning to her seat, her Ravenclaw side kicking in as he told her about it.

"Well, we were talking about electronics and stuff in Muggle Studies and I started thinking maybe I could mix some magic with it's wires and stuff. It's really complicated, I don't quite get it yet, but it's fun." He shrugged off, stuffing the muggle music player back in his bag.

"Sirius, what classes are you taking besides Muggle Studies?" She asked with a surprised look on her face, impressed by his new hobby.

"Besides the required? Divination." Sirius wasn't sure what to make of the turn of conversation, but continued it all the same.

"Why Divination?"

"It was one of the few subjects I didn't already know." He said simply, finishing up replacing the contents of his bag and sitting back down.

"Ancient runes and Arithmancy?" She raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not believing him.

"Learned Runes as a kid, I'm not great at Arithmancy, but I do know a good bit." He'd already explained it once to Remus, who pretty much had hired him to help him with his homework in both classes, help not do it for him which was what James kept attempting, for a good portion of his first year in the classes.

"I think you should start taking Arithmancy next year." McGonagall turned in her chair and stood to write something else on the board.

"What? Why?"

"It would be good for you, and it might help you, if perhaps you choose to turn that hobby into a career someday. I can't imagine you're going to do your future any favors through Divination of all things." She continued to write, the numbers and charts now written on it looked slightly familiar, of course he couldn't remember what it was for.

"Well yeah I guess, but isn't a bit late to join?" He asked examining the chart with no idea what to do with it.

"Normally we discourage starting a new class this close to NEWT years, but you said you already knew some of the material and Professor Vector tells me Remus is her best student. I don't think catching up should be too difficult." She finished writing on the board and turned to examine his reaction, she was surprised by what she saw.

He was examining the chart, without waiting for so much of an explanation as to it's purpose, no he was actively trying to find it's purpose on his own.

She was impressed to say the least.

"I give up, what is it?" Sirius complained leaning back lazily looking at her expectantly.

She couldn't help but laugh. He was brilliant, but he was still just Sirius Black.

A/N) In this cannon the laws against what Sirius is doing haven't been passed yet. My reasoning for this is that I'm pretty sure Mr Weasley was the one who passed that law and while he is a good bit older than James it's reasonable to think it took him a bit of time to get enough power to make laws like that.