Chapter 102

The Night Before Christmas

The room grew dark and Sirius could hear James fall asleep before he even made it to the bed. Sirius didn't climb into the bed, however, he grabbed the shirt he'd just thrown off and put it right back on before heading out the door.

He didn't know why, he was just as tired as James was, but he could tell he wasn't going to get much sleep that night. There was excitement in his heart, such as he hadn't felt since he'd gotten his Hogwarts letter when he was eleven. James called it Christmas Spirit when Sirius mentioned it but the latter thought that sounded cheesy, like it was written on one of the million Christmas cards he'd just signed.

For some reason this year just felt different. He didn't know what it was, there wasn't a fleck of snow on the ground at James' house, and the Christmas carolers weren't due till new years (he thought that was weird but James acted like it was completely normal.)

Sirius walked out into the crisp night air before he put his coat on. He enjoyed the cold wind brushing on his skin for a few seconds before the cold registered in his mind. He loved winter as much as he'd expected he would when he'd been forced to watch it from his bedroom window as a child. His mother had always thought winter to be a bother and they rarely left the house when the chill set in, sending the house elf to do all their errands for them. Now though, he couldn't get enough. He loved snow, he loved the cold air chilling his skin, he loved the barren trees, and he loved the holly and garland that the muggles in town had decorated the streetlights and public buildings with.

Speaking of decorated public buildings, Sirius stopped in front of the church. Moving closer, he found himself intrigued by the decoration. He didn't understand it's meaning, or even why it was there. He felt safe in assuming it was a Christmas decoration, but the only humans he'd seen associated with Christmas was the fat guy with a beard and an obnoxious red suit. These people were not dressed in bright colors and though the male had a beard he wasn't in any way fat. There was a man and a woman kneeling over what looked to be an animal's feeding trough though there was nothing but hay in it for them to be looking at. It made very little sense to Sirius but he felt like it was something he should know.

"Pretty isn't it?"

Sirius jumped at the voice and it laughed.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." The man let the church door close itself behind him, he was carrying a small bundle in a bit of cloth. He was young though there was noticeable flecks of gray in his dark hair and he had a bright smile that made his look about twice as handsome as he actually was. "Pastor David Baine, I don't believe we've met before."

Sirius' first instinct was to ignore the outstretched hand of greeting and leave. It was extremely out of character for him, but he felt self-conscious. This was a man of faith, a peaceful religion that taught things like "For God so loved the world" and stuff, and he... well he was a Black.

"Sirius... Sirius Black," he managed to choke out, not wanting to be rude. The smile was inviting but the title was less so.

"Sirius Black," the Pastor repeated, looking away for a moment. "Oh, you're James' friend from school, aren't you? I remember he had a strange name like that."

"Oh, ah. Yes sir." Sirius was surprised, though it wasn't all that surprising.

The Pastor chuckled a little. "Sir? Sir is my father. David is fine, or Pastor Baine. Everyone calls me that, no matter how many times I tell them otherwise."

"Sorry."

"Y'know, James made you sound a lot more relaxed..." Pastor Baine smiled again, he could tell the boy was intimidated. He knew from what James had told him last year that Sirius wasn't all that comfortable with the thought of religion.

"I wasn't, exactly expecting to meet anyone this late at night. I wasn't trying to steal anything." Sirius defended himself looking back at the two figures in the tiny house.

"I'm not accusing you of anything, Sirius. I just came out here to put Jesus in his bed," the Pastor said in a calming voice, nudging his head towards the bundle in his arm.

"Who?" Sirius really felt like he should know what the man was saying, but he'd never heard the name before in his life. It was a confusing feeling. The Pastor gave him as small look of surprise that he hid quickly.

"Jesus," he repeated, "The scene is a representation of his birth."

Sirius watched as the Pastor laid the bundle in the hay. It was a baby, wooden and painted like the rest of the scene but with greater detail.

"Why? What's so special about Him?" Sirius asked, his curiosity overwhelming him. More love and care had gone into the carving and painting of the baby than the entire rest of the scene and everything in it seemed to be centered around that infant.

The Pastor stood still looking at the child that looked entirely out of place in a feeding trough, it seemed like a very unsanitary place to put a child.

"Everything, my friend. Everything," he said reverently. "Without that Child, we'd have no hope, no reason to live. He is God born in human flesh to die for the sins of the world that we might have eternal life."

Sirius remembered the verse he'd seen in the church only a year ago. Most of his memory of it was lost in the sands of time but didn't it mention a child dying for eternal life?

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. How can God die? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of being God?"

"Well, that's why he had to be born, isn't it? 'It is appointed unto men once to die.' All humans die at some point. God sent his son, Jesus, to die for the sins of the world, so that we can have forgiveness for our sins. That is what Christmas is really about, not the presents you receive, or even the presents you give, not the time spent with friends and family, though all these things are good things."

"So, God's son is a god too? Can there be more than one god?" Sirius looked up at the Pastor. He didn't see any reason to doubt the muggle, it's not like he'd been taught differently at any point in his like. It was all just confusing.

"No, it's difficult to explain, but there is only one God. He is just split into three persons."

"Like multiple personalities?" Sirius smiled, finally understanding something the other had said.

Pastor Baine laughed. "More like the exact opposite, actually. While split personalities are multiple people in one body, God is one person in three people."

"And one of them is human?"

"Well, minus the whole dying thing."

"But He did die..."

"And He came back. That's the best part, Sirius. He isn't still dead. He became the sacrifice, the payment for our evil and He died, but three days later He rose from the dead." The Pastor had a smile even bigger than the other, enjoying his own story.

"I suppose that's one of the perks of being God." Sirius laughed lightly. He felt more comfortable now, less intimidated by the title of the man who stood next to him.

Pastor Baine laughed. "Indeed, it would be."

"But why is He in a barn if He's so important?" Sirius asked, having worked out what the little house was when he saw a smallish wooden cow laying next to the woman.

"Well that's where He was born."

"In a barn." He confirmed, his voice flat, it wasn't that amusing of a joke.

"In a stable, His crib was the manger. It really is a sad place for the birth of a King."

"He'd have lots of pets though..."

The Pastor laughed. "Why don't you come inside? It's pretty chilly out here."

"Oh, ah... I dunno." Sirius hesitated, being there alone was one thing but...

"It's alright, it's just me right now." There was kindness and welcoming in his voice and Sirius relented, following the man into the building. "So what brings you out here in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve?"

"Just restless, I guess." Sirius answered, looking around again at the inside decorations. This time it was all decked out in Christmas decorations, there was another, smaller, scene inside of pretty much the same thing. This time there were a few extra characters around the barn.

"Excited for tomorrow? My little sister gets like that sometimes too. Has too much energy for her own good sometimes." He sat down on a pew comfortably, resting his arms on the pew in front of him and watching his guest sit down on the same pew but far enough away that they weren't sitting together.

"James says I'm on a near constant sugar rush to anyone who will listen." Sirius said with a small smile.

"Yes, I believe he's told me that. He also said you weren't always like that, what changed?"

Sirius looked at him, he had a distinct impression of one of his many 'therapy' sessions with Professor McGonnagal.

"My family, I guess. I replaced my old one with a new one."

He didn't feel uncomfortable telling the Pastor this, everyone he knew already knew anyway.

"What do you mean?"

"My blood family are... not good people. I did something, something that was right, that they didn't like. They all hate me now, but that's okay. I hate them too." Sirius glared at nothing. He wasn't used to people not knowing all this stuff already.

"That is a very cruel thing to say. James told me you didn't get on with your family, but to say you hate them, it's a hard thing to take back."

"I don't care. It's true. They're horrible people, evil even, some of them. They're like, like your people's mafia, I read about those, they sound just like my blood family."

Pastor Baine's eyes widened at the comparison.

"My new family, James, Remus, and Peter, they've helped me out a lot. It's thanks to them that I'm not like the rest of them. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for them."

Sirius began to go into watered down versions of stories of their time at Hogwarts, trying not to lie, but also not telling him anything that would hint at magic.

They talked for much longer than either of them expected and Sirius found himself having to hurry out before James awoke and noticed he was missing. He was surprised by how easily he had been able to talk to the religious man and it felt nice to talk to someone outside of his little bubble of friends.

He still didn't feel like coming to the service Christmas night though. It still felt wrong for him to be there.

He was, after all, still a Black at heart. No matter how much he wished to be someone else.

Sirius was slightly more prepared for this Christmas, mentally that is. He expected the matriarch of the Potter family's rude comments in his direction, he smiled at the family's collective roll of the eyes every time she opened her mouth. He was close to being comfortable at being allowed to speak freely at a party, or he spoke more than ten words at a time now, at least.

The private celebration with just James, Sirius, and the parents felt almost the exact same as last year, with copious amounts of teasing James and James retaliating with violence, while the public celebration was crowded, noisy, and felt more like a family gathering than even the most sincere he'd ever been to before. And when the time came that they were to leave for the Christmas church service Sirius almost managed to convince James to go without him. Almost. But he'd failed in the last second when James managed to catch a look on Sirius' face that he didn't like. So there they sat, on Christmas evening by themselves, once again playing wizard's chess. No new pieces, just the usual comfortable players and the peace of a familiar game, only broken every once in a while by the pieces smashing each other's heads in.

"I'm sorry you have to stay behind because of me." Sirius said quietly as he waited for James to take his move.

"I volunteered, didn't I. Besides, I'll convince you to come with us before you convince me to leave you here alone on Christmas."

"Worried I'll blow up the house?"

"Exactly." James teased, before giving his pawn a pointless order that Sirius couldn't even pretend to think had some form of strategy behind it.

"Probably a good thing to be worried about." Sirius made his move quickly, he already knew he was going to win so he didn't take much time to think about it.

"Where'd you run off to last night?"

Sirius straightened up, surprised by his friend's question.

"Just walking around town, how'd you know I left?"

"Your coat was on your bed post this morning, it wasn't yesterday. You're going to catch a cold, going out in the middle of the night like that."

"Yes, mum." Sirius teased, rolling his eyes and causing James to laugh.

They joked and teased long after the Potters returned and left, leaving only the four of them in the house. Playing chess well into the night. Glad that for one night at least they didn't have to worry about blowing themselves up or breaking every bone in their own body and a few in the body that they didn't even have yet.

It was the day after Christmas when they finally climbed into the house and not a creature was stirring... not even a mouse.

A/N) My Christmas presents to y'all. Three Chapters for the wait of one... kinda. Merry Christmas! ^_^