Chapter 104

Secrets

Remus' friends were weird. He'd known that for a while now, sure, but every once in a while something would happen that would just hit the hammer home. Hearing James call Peter Wormtail and seeing Peter respond to it like an actual name, was one of those things.

"Wormtail?" Remus repeated, not trying to hide his amusement. And he'd thought Moony was bad.

"His idea." Sirius pointed his thumb at James sitting on the compartment bench beside him, he looked rather ill. Sirius noticed his glance. "Apparently I'm allergic to blueberries."

Remus winced, he didn't need any more explanation, and didn't complain when Sirius rested on his shoulder. The younger boy would be asleep before the train started moving.

"Yeah, and Sirius is Padfoot. We thought that since you have a cool mysterious nickname we need one too. It'll make yours stand out less." James shrugged at the last part.

"What exactly is your definition of cool?" Remus asked, adjusting himself so Sirius's forehead wasn't digging into his collarbone. Sirius laughed but said nothing.

"James is Prongs." Peter announced a fake but almost convincing smile on his face. Peter thought no one knew he didn't enjoy James and Sirius' jokes but Remus could read him better than he knew.

"At least Moony sort of makes sense." Remus mumbled, Sirius' breathing was already beginning to slow. Remus pointed at him and mouthed are you sure he's okay? to James who winced and shrugged.

"He ate a lot of them." He looked a little guilty but Remus sighed.

"Well take him to Madam Pomfrey when we get there. She'll have something for it." Remus had the best intentions when he said it but all three of them reacted like he'd just asked them to murder someone. Even half-asleep Sirius attempted to yell out an objection landing him with a painful cough.

Remus jumped at the hostile reactions before rubbing a tense hand on Sirius' back.

"Sorry." James went red, realizing they'd all significantly over-reacted. "Okay, so the blueberries might have been part of a potion, and technically we're not allowed to be making potions over the Christmas holidays, and maybe she might be able to figure out what we were doing if she examines him."

"What exactly was so important that it couldn't wait till school started again?" Remus felt his sympathy for Sirius slipping with every word James said.

"Um... It might, y'know, be against school rules..." James ran a hand through his hair.

"And I might just decide that you lot deserve everything you get." Remus gave James the most dead-pan look he could muster. Letting him know exactly what he felt about this potion.

"Can't deny that." Sirius agreed, his voice was raspy but he had a smirk on his face.

"You're not allowed to talk, go back to sleep." Remus turned a glare on him and he had the nerve to chuckle.

"You shouldn't glare, Moony. It's just impossible to take seriously." Sirius replied, another cough just before Remus sighed and smacked him upside the head. It only caused him to laugh, but it had felt good at least.

"I, at least, was semi-productive over the holiday." Remus didn't notice the other three looking at each other with mixtures of humor, irritation, exasperation, and just frustration on their faces at the irony of what he'd just said. "I've got the extension charm memorized, I just have to actually practice it. I'm not allowed to do magic over the break. You did at least start on the other two things for the map over break... right?"

James and Sirius looked at each other, then back at Remus.

"You didn't do anything... did you." Remus sighed, he should have expected it really. The two of them had been extremely lax with school work lately, usually they had everything done the day it was assigned, but lately they were waiting till the last minute on everything. James even failed the last transfig test before Christmas, James... failed a transfiguration test. James could look at the textbook for five minutes and instantly understand the process. How is it possible that he didn't have five minutes to spare to open the textbook for his favorite subject?

"We were busy..." James knew it sounded like an excuse, even if it was the truth. Sirius and James had spent nearly every moment of the holiday working, and they'd made a lot of progress too. It almost looked possible to finish before NEWTS, but they had to put literally everything on the backburner for it. They'd even recruited Peter to pick up all the presents they hadn't bought in their outing with Remus, which resulted in everyone getting some really weird stuff. Part of the preparation for returning to school had been to magick away the the bags from under their eyes.

But Remus couldn't know that.

"You seem to be busy a lot lately." Remus wasn't impressed. "McGonnagal's about one low grade from kicking you lot off the quidditch team because you're too busy to get your school work done."

"Moony..." Sirius whined, wincing a little at the pain it caused.

Remus sighed, deciding once again that being upset with them wasn't worth it. "I'm just worried that's all." He felt a little pathetic: he wanted to get them to see that school was just as important as whatever else that was such a big deal for them, but he didn't want them to get mad at him. What if he nagged too much and they decided he wasn't worth putting up with.

He'd never forgive himself if he pushed them away.

"We'll be good." James promised, though it was more of a whine than an actual promise. It didn't exactly fill him with confidence.

"Yeah, yeah." Remus couldn't help but smile, "you did at least come up with a Christmas prank... right?" The looks of horror on their faces worried him more than their falling grades. He could explain their apathy away with being a teenager, this however meant there was something serious going on. James and Sirius did not just forget about pranks... ever. Sirius'll stop in the middle of an exam to turn the professor's hair purple.

Something major was going on in their lives... and they were hiding it from him.

The thought terrified him, what if he'd already pushed them away and they were just humoring him?

"Got it!" James exclaimed after about two minutes of he and Sirius just staring at each other. All three of them jumped at the sudden noise. "So people are finally figuring out that we didn't actually take something, right?"

"Sure." Remus shrugged, Sirius just nodded saving his throat.

"Well this time we'll actually take something." James smiled at what he thought was an ingenious plan.

"It sucks." Sirius replied shaking his head.

"If you come up with a better plan in, ohh..." James peeked out the compartment window, "five minutes, we'll do that."

"What do we steal?" Peter asked his still incomplete potions essay in his lap.

"Something obvious. Something they'll know is missing almost immediately. But something normal students couldn't have taken." James answered a hand running through his hair as he considered it.

Sirius snickered, and peeked out the door to ensure there were no eavesdroppers.

"I know exactly what we take."