Chapter 138

The Origin of the Wolf

Remus threw himself int his bed. He hadn't had such a long day since he was twelve. The day his friends had learned what he was he'd spent the entire day waiting on the to turn on him. Today didn't quite rival the length of that day, but the stress level did.

It baffled him, even now, that none of that stress had been caused by the same worries of that day, two years ago.

His friends had been attacked by werewolves, they'd seen what he could become yet it hadn't even crossed his mind that they would begin to fear him. Perhaps he'd just been distracted by worry for James and Peter's health or anger over James and Sirius' recklessness. He hadn't had much time to be afraid.

A light knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, he could hear his father on the other side of the door but the knock had been lighter than his usual. As though he was hoping Remus was asleep.

He considered pretending to be asleep for his sake but it didn't feel right to lie to his own father like that.

"Come in," he called back sitting up and turning on a small reading lamp by his bed.

The door opened and his father peeked in.

"I didn't wake you did I?" Lyall asked before fully stepping into the room.

"Nope, I only just got in bed." Remus scooted over so his father could sit down.

Lyall took the offer sitting himself down on the edge and staring off into the darkness of Remus' bedroom instead of looking at Remus himself.

"Dad? Is something wrong?" Remus asked him, unused to this kind of behaviour from his father. "James'll be fine, his mum was a healer. Even the bruises were cleared up by the time we left."

"That's not... I'm more concerned about you, actually." He shook his head still not looking at Remus.

"All I did was bruise my knuckles. You healed that before we even left."

"I know, that's not it either..." he heaved a heavy sigh. "Look at me, I'm such a coward. After all this time I still haven't learned a thing."

"Dad?"

"Remus, do you know why those..." he hesitated, unsure what to call them, "werewolves attacked your friends?" He finally turned to look at his son directly. The look on his face wasn't one Remus expected. He'd thought it would be fear or worry like he thought there would be a follow-up attack or political repercussions, but instead, there was regret. Pure and simple regret. Remus didn't understand and he didn't like it.

Lyall had enough worries without blaming himself for things that weren't his fault.

"Because of me," he said, that much was obvious but he continued, "they've been trying to get me to join their pack for a while now but I keep refusing. It was either a threat or a punishment."

His father watched him talk with eyes wide in surprise but he continued to talk shrugging his shoulders to emphasise how little he was interested in their offers and threats. "Pointless really. I'm, sure as merlin's dead, not going to join them now."

"They've been trying to recruit you? For how long? Why didn't you tell me?"

Remus hugged his knees, looking guilty. "It didn't matter I wasn't going..."

"That's not the point, Remus." he interrupted, his voice was stern you didn't think something like this could happen? That they'd get angry if you continued to refuse them? You know better than that, Remus!" He was frustrated now and Remus hugged his knees even tighter. It was his turn to avoid eye contact. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He hesitated before answering, not wanting to reveal the real answer but unable to fight his father's stern voice.

"I didn't want to move again," he replied in a small voice. He didn't want to complain, every time they'd had to relocate it had been to protect him, every time they'd spent days packing and unpacking, only to do the same thing no more than a year later, searching for cheap houses that weren't a dump, making twenty trips to transfer their belongings from one place to another because their vehicle was tiny and they couldn't afford a moving van, it was all for him.

How could he complain about that?

But then they'd found this place. The neighbours were all miles away, the forest was dangerous if you're not a monster that's scarier than anything in it, and the house itself had been a dump. Rats, cockroaches, spiders, there had even been a racoon nest in one of the bedrooms.

His mother had hated it instantly the first thing she'd done when entering the house was the cry. Within the first week, she and his father had argued so much that Remus hid in the bathroom most of the days. Lyall was looking at the long term benefits of a little house on the edge of the forest, Hope, however, was more interested in the myriad of little insects living in her silverware drawer. What she didn't know is that her husband could fix all the piping under the house just by tapping it with a fancy stick, and her son's condition drove away everything from people to the lowest lifeform she could think of, snakes. Within a month the entire house was critter-free and while Hope and Remus were off on a week long field trip Lyall hired some people to replace most of the woodwork. Looking back, he was able to make an educated guess that no one actually came to the house while they were gone due to how devoted he was about dodging questions about the cost of it all. A few years later and the house was perfect. It was the longest he'd ever lived in one place and he didn't want to give it up not after they'd worked so hard in the hopes of having somewhere permanent to live. He didn't want to go back to moving every few months.

Lyall's expression intensified and he sighed. "We're not going to move, Remus. Not again. It wouldn't matter if we did. They'll just find us again."

"Why, though?" I don't understand, what good does that do them? I keep saying no, why do they keep coming back? They have to know by now that bugging me isn't going to change my mind." Remus asked, relieved but confused by his father's words. It was starting to sound like they were targeting him in particular.

"They aren't expecting you to join them, Remus, that's not the point." he shook his head once again before pulling off his glasses and running a hand over his face. "They're just harassing you, that's all. And though you, me," he finished quietly finally getting to the reason he'd come in Remus' room to begin with.

"What do you mean?"

"Remus, I'm sorry. I should have told you this years ago."

"Dad I..."

"Don't interrupt me, Remus. This is important. Do you know who is leading this pack you've met?" he asked, the regret on his face shifted into a frightened sort of determination. Whatever he was going to say he really didn't want to say.

"Fenrir Grayback. He's the one that's always in the paper." Lyall nodded the solemn expression on his face was only half visible in the dark. "Grayback is the most dangerous werewolf in England, possibly in the prays on children, and feels no remorse, he's a monster in the cruellest definition of the word, and worst of all he's clever. Only one time has he ever been caught.

"You know that when I worked for the ministry I specialised in regulating non-beings." he wanted long enough for Remus to nod. "Well about half a year before I resigned they moved me to the department for the regulation and control for magical creatures. They were short staffed and I was cocky enough to think it would be an easy position. It wasn't. Non-beings don't have feelings, they didn't die. You don't have to worry about how you treat them or how harsh you deal with them. My boss was quite happy with the result but I made more enemies than I was prepared to deal with, including Grayback. I tried to convince his judges that he was every bit the monster he is but he had them fooled so he got off."

He paused in his story shaking his head still bewildered by their stupidity. Remus watched him as he talked as quiet as the darkness outside of his room.

"Grayback knew the part I'd played in his trial and when he was released he sought revenge. Which he got by attacking you." He paused to judge Remus' reaction hesitating at his lack of surprise. "You'd already worked all this out already knew all this, didn't you."

"Sorta, yeah." Remus gave an awkward smile. It was true, he'd worked out that the werewolf attack on him all those years ago had been premeditated. He'd been safe in his room at the time, and a werewolf couldn't undo the lock on a window while transformed, and he'd learned from his mother at one point that the window hadn't been broken but deliberately unlocked. And, of course, there was the fact that he was the only victim. The monster had left the moment his parents had found him and their neighbours hadn't been attacked. That wasn't natural behaviour for a werewolf. And he couldn't imagine he'd drawn a werewolf's attention of his own accord at the tender age of four. And his father had always made it clear he blamed himself, even if he never said so out loud.

As for Grayback, he hadn't been sure, but he couldn't imagine it was likely that there were two werewolves in this part of England that were perfectly happy to attack a child. So none if this information really came at a surprise.

"I was afraid you'd hate me for it."

Remus frowned at the small, fearful voice coming from his father. He'd never considered his father particularly brave, but to be so fearful that he'd never forgive this man he'd loved so deeply his entire life? After everything, they'd both done for him? After watching Lyall work so furiously to find a cure, seeing him near tear his hair out over it?

Remus could never hate him. Even if Lyall had secretly bitten him himself he couldn't have hated his father.

"Why? It's not like it's your fault. He did this, not you. Besides you know I can't hold a grudge to save my life." Remus moved to a more relaxed position and Lyall shook his head.

"You're too clever for me, Remus. Especially for a Gryffindor," he said with a teasing smile and Remus pretended to take offence causing his father to let out a weary laugh. "Here I was, working myself up for this conversation and you already knew everything I had to say."

"I'll bet it was hard," Remus replied with a smirk, " working up that courage. You're only a Ravenclaw, after all."

They both laughed until Remus gave a wide yawn and Lyall excused himself so Remus could get to sleep.

Not five minutes after he'd left Remus heard a soft tink of a rock oh his window, and he froze in the middle of attempting to find the most comfortable spot on his bed until he heard it again. His eyes narrowed, glaring at the darkness of his room.

Surely Taylor wasn't stupid enough to think he was willing to talk to her now, after everything her pack had done. Sure she hadn't been directly involved but she hadn't done much to stop them or warn him of their attempt. He didn't blame her, of course, but that didn't mean he was in a mood to be kind. At the sound of one more tink of the window, Remus got up and glared out the window, she stood just outside of the forest line. As far from the house as she could be and still be seen by him, her expression was apologetic.

He responded by slamming the curtains shut and returning to bed, and regretted when the sound stopped. He had every right to be mad, but that didn't stop him from rehearsing his apology as he finally drifted to sleep after such a long taxing day.