Chapter 140

The First Name

James and Sirius made it into the great hall just as the sorting hat ended its song. There was obligatory applause for the hat as the two Marauders took their seats, seats that weren't as private as usual but it mattered little. The students around them wouldn't notice a wand under the table, not with more important things like the sorting and the feast going on. They ignored the sorting, for the most part, one name James seemed interested in was Aerona Howard. James explained that she was their keeper's little sister. Sirius didn't know Keth well, he'd only played one game with the kid after all but even he could feel sympathy for the third year when the hat happily called out Slytherin not long after it touched her head. He did offer the Keeper a sympathetic smile when the young boy turned to look at James with disappointment in his warm brown eyes. After that though the Marauders weren't interested in the sorting at all they only stopped talking when there was a shout of "Gryffindor" to give the appropriate amount of clapping and cheers to their new housemate.

They didn't talk about anything important, due to the people around them, it frustrated Sirius because he needed to tell Moony and Wormtail about his mother's threat but there were other reasons the crowd of people annoyed him. He knew Dumbledore was going to say something, about Andrea, and he didn't trust himself to react in a manner he was willing to allow others to see.

He wasn't going to deny the news of Andrea's death hit him hard. Though they hadn't been close really, hadn't spent enough time with her for that, Sirius had liked her a great deal. She'd been interested in him, romanticly that is, he knew that but unlike all the others she hadn't let tat turn her into a silly pile of mush. He'd never told her how much he'd appreciated the fact that she could look him in the eye and have a genuine conversation with him, or laugh at his expense without blushing or sighing or entering some sort of dream like trance. She actually listened when he spoke and had intelligent replies. He'd talked to other girls, of course, the number of conversations he'd managed to rope Evans into during divination, or talking to Kathy about Quidditch, and he'd always been able to talk to Alice.

But they were different. They didn't like him in that way, or at all in Evans' case. He wasn't the handsome boy everyone else fell in love with on sight to them. He was that irritating brat who kept picking on her friend, or that jerkwad that never showed up for Quidditch, or that silly little kid who was covered in toad spawn and three types of urine in the potions shop. The didn't care how good looking or clever he was. Andrea had cared. She'd thought him brilliant and gorgeous and fun to be around. Yet she still allowed herself to be his friend.

It hadn't been just his looks that she'd cared about, unlike all those girls in that silly fan club. She'd liked him, him as a person.

James thought Sirius fancied her back, and who knows, maybe he did. He didn't know what it felt like or how to tell, but he did know that he'd respected her more than any girl he'd ever met.

The food arrived, Sirius wasn't all that hungry but he ate anyway. It had been a while since he'd had a full meal, having locked himself in his room ever since his mother's threats, coming out only at night to grab something quick from the pantry. His body needed food and it wouldn't be long before Remus noticed how much weight he'd lost even since the Diagon Alley Fiasco over the summer. He'd gain it back in no time considering they had around the clock access to the kitchens and Honeyduke's basement.

When the food finally cleared away Dumbledore stood to give his usual speech and James gave Sirius a pointed look, Sirius shook his head. He wanted to go back to his nice, cosy, private dorm and sleep for days.

Sirius watched as the headmaster greeted the school the room grew more silent than he'd ever heard it there wasn't even the usual background chatter of people who couldn't care less what the headmaster had to say. Everyone had heard of what happened and everyone wanted to know more. This was the first time this skirmish, it wasn't technically a war yet but there was no doubt it would become one, had affected the school as a whole rather than just a student or two.

"But as we begin this new beginning in our lives we must remember those who cannot share in this new beginning with us. Hogwarts has suffered a great loss this summer." he paused to look at the student body as a whole. "You, no doubt, have heard of the passing of Miss Andrea Heifer. She was a fiery young witch who inspired courage in all those fortunate to meet her, and quite good at quidditch too," he nodded to the Gryffindor table where there was a chorus of agreement. Sirius couldn't help but smile.

"Miss Heifer's death marks a turning point in these dark times. No longer can we simply observe the world around us. We can no longer claim these things only happen only happen to others. We must take every precaution to ensure the safety of both ourselves as individuals and as a whole.

"There may be many of you who sympathise with the Death Eater's cause, perhaps even intended to support it when the time comes for you take a side, but when that time does come I implore you to remember Miss Heifer, an honest young girl who was pushed so far into desperation that it cost her her life."

Dumbledore stepped away from the podium only to stop, watching the opposite wall where flaming words wrote themselves along it.

Rest In Peace

Andrea Heifer

The ones that love us never really leave us.

It was signed with an over-embellished M.

Sirius looked at Remus first who shook his head, both their gazes turned to James who was trying to be sneaky about putting his wand away

Remus gave a quiet laugh, "that's surprisingly deep for you, Prongs." His voice was low enough that even Sirius had trouble hearing him.

"Hey now!" James said taking offence to Remus' teasing. Sirius said nothing, not trusting himself to keep his voice straight. The great hall seemed to erupt with chatter when compared to the silence before but Dumbledore chose not to comment, however, he also didn't erase the words along the wall. Which told them enough.

The words still burned as everyone scrambled to exit the great hall. Remus broke away from the others quickly telling them the common room password before he left, to lead the first years around.

"Tell them the wrong password!" James yelled after him.

"Don't tell them the password at all!" Sirius joined in causing Remus to laugh and Evans to look scandalised. James gave him a smile and nudged him in the side, no doubt glad that Sirius still found it in himself to crack a joke every now and then,

The three of them made their way up to the common room, and eventually pushed past the crowd to the dorm.

They had been forced to stop and greet a number of their friends, but James managed to keep the conversations short. Sirius didn't stop when they entered the dorm, heading straight for the showers. He hesitated only a moment when James asked if he was alright with him telling the other marauders about his mother's threat. He consented but said nothing else.

Sirius didn't bother removing his robes before stepping into the shower, he'd learned to love the privacy of a running shower towards the end of last year. No one could see, or even hear, you if you felt like crying.

He didn't cry, not this time, but it still felt marvellous, calming even. He didn't care that his friend were in the other room talking about him. He thought about the last time he'd talked to the female beater, it wasn't a pleasant memory but he wanted to remember it. Her apology was humble and brave and that was how he wanted to remember her, not the enraged devastation after she'd lost her mother, not even her silly laughter when they'd managed to knock someone out during a quidditch game. He didn't know why, it hurt because of how stupid he'd been, but that was the memory he wanted to keep. Perhaps it was because he knew there was something to learn from it, perhaps not. Whatever the reason James was right. She hadn't deserved to die, that memory alone was proof of that, and he couldn't help but think that she wouldn't be the last innocent person to die.

When he could no longer stand there with water falling on his soaking robe he turned off the water and magickly dried his cloak. Quietly exiting the bathroom in case they'd gone to sleep already.

Only James bedside candle was lit. Sirius skipped his own bed and flopped on James', almost sitting right on top of the stag.

James had his broom hovering in front of him, polishing the handle and taking extra care with the name engraved in the wood.

"You realise the manufacturers polish it before they sell it, yeah?" he asked teasing his brother.

"They're worthless," James explained rolling his eyes. "Cheap wax, only made to look pretty so people will buy it. James shook his head as though offended.

"Only you would think you know more than the people who make them." Sirius laughed, relieved by how casual his own laugh sounded after a day of fake laughs and faulty smiles.

"James noticed, "Feel better?" he asked as he scooted over to give the pup more room.

"Loads, feel like a sissy, though," Sirius adjusted himself now that he was no longer sitting on James.

"Oh hush." James rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with being upset. I'd bet you didn't even cry."

"My eyes go a little wet. Does that count?"

"No, it doesn't." James concentration was still on the broom in front of him but he looked back at Sirius as he spoke.

Sirius just gave a non-committal grunt in response.

"I'm scared, Prongs," he said, his voice quiet almost hoping he wasn't heard.

James put the polish down and scooted away from the broom as it continued to hover there. His face was deep in thought for a moment. "That's probably a good thing, though," he said after a while of thought.

"Is it?" Sirius asked his eyes searching James' face for the reassurance he wasn't finding in the stag's words.

"It means you have more to fight for, more to live for." James nodded staring at his broom still more out of being lost in thought than any desire to avoid Sirius' gaze.

"More to lose too..." Sirius added his usual pessimism coming unbidden, but James just laughed.

"Yeah, that's true." There was movement outside of the bedcurtains, it seemed as though the others weren't as asleep as he'd thought.

"I don't want to lose anyone else," He said as the curtain opened to reveal both Remus and Peter. The two joined them on the bed, the broomstick being pushed aside in favour of space for all of them.

"You can't protect everyone, though," Remus said a grim frown on his face.

"I can try," Sirius argued, his face was hard, determined and James smiled nudging him.

"Yeah? And who's gonna protect you?" he teased forcing a smile on Sirius' face against the pup's will.

"Eh," Sirius shrugged, "Probably you."

"How about..." Remus started a small smile on his face, "we all protect each other.:" Remus looked at Peter who readily agreed.

James tossed a pillow at the werewolf, laughing. "Stop being such a prefect! Merlin!" he teased ducking as the pillow was thrown back at him, and as Sirius couldn't resist a good pillow fight he dragged Peter in as well.

Two hours later found the four Marauders curled up on James' bed fast asleep, smiles on their faces as though they didn't have a care in the world.

A/N) I've made a facebook page for this fanfiction, kinda technically it's a fictional character page because I couldn't find the option for fanfiction. It's still kinda small, but I'm trying to post on it regularly, I want to be able to communicate with you guys more than just these little author's notes at the end. I'm starting to dislike these as they break up the flow of the story. Just search TheMaraudersfanfic in the facebook search bar and it should be the only option.