Chapter 153

Starcrossed Lovers

"Professor Slughorn' Christmas party is this weekend, do you want to go with me?" Lily asked hopping down the steps two at a time. Christmas holidays were coming u and she was ecstatic about the two-week break from classes and OWL homework.

"Sure," Sev shrugged looking up at her. She'd never really understood why Slughorn had never invited Severus to his meetings Sev's skill at potions, Slughorn's own subject, and as a Slytherin, Slughorn's house, she thought he should have guaranteed him a spot. Severus thought it was because he wasn't famous enough or something as ridiculous but Lily thought it might have more to do with his greasy hair and clothes that were always too big or too small, though she said nothing, he got teased about it enough already.

"I don't know why you feel the need to ask anymore, I go with you every year." He said with a smile.

She shrugged, "common courtesy?" she suggested as they passed a window that drew her attention.

"Snow!" she exclaimed stopping to look out the window. Severus stopped

"Yeah? It's December Lils, that usually means snow," he said his eyes only straying to the window for a moment.

"But this time it's sticking, it's not all wet and mushy!" she turned around and started hopping down the stairs the way they came.

"Wait? Lily? I thought we were doing our Herbology homework?" he called chasing after her energetic self.

"Who cares about Herbology, this is more fun," she said brightly jumping the last two steps and rushing down the great hall a very amused Slytherin chasing behind her.

"Brrr," she shivered as the cold air hit her the moment she stepped outside but her smile was still frozen on her face. She knelt to form a perfect snowball to throw at him before letting out a squeal as a cold, wet snowball hit her in the back of the head and slid down her shirt and ran down her back as he beat her to it.

"You meany!" she exclaimed as he laughed at her high-pitched squeal. She threw her own snowball and missed by a whole yard causing him to laugh even harder. She could feel her face going red despite the grin she couldn't get rid of long enough to fake a pout and decided to give up all pretenses, waving a wand at him. "Liviosa."

"A huge pile of snow hovered over him menacingly. He looked up, seeing the shadow surrounding him, just in time to see it before it all fell on his head.

It was her turn to laugh.

"That's how it is, is it?" he asked, pulling out his wand with a grin. She gave another good-natured scream and ran for it. Mounds of snow threw themselves at her, some only missing her by inches as he waved his wand at her saying nothing and not moving but she was quite good at shield charms so she came out of the experience no wetter than when he started.

When he finally lowered his wand she giggled and blew a raspberry at him not noticing the triumphant smirk on his face until too late. There was an explosion of snow around her drenching her and freezing her until there was more snow surrounding her than air.

She finally managed a pout as she climbed out of the mound of snow he'd covered her in "All right, all right, you win."

"As per usual," he boasted good-naturedly. She gave another giggle and plopped down backward into the snow spreading her arms and legs back and forth to form a snow angel.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Severus asked amused as she pushed herself up from the snow making sure to flatten the pile of snow that had been drawn together by her legs.

"I'm making snow angels, obviously," she said looking back at her work with a broad smile.

"What?" He laughed also looking down at it. "That looks nothing like an angel."

"Sure it does," she gave another half-hearted pout. "See those are the wings and that's the dress." She pointed at the grounds her arms and legs made in the snow.

"Uh huh," he said slowly not at all sounding like he agreed. "Nope looks nothing like an angel."

"Yes it does," she argued, "look!" But he continued to shake his head.

"Nah, I'll show you a snow angel," he said with a wide grin. This was the Severus she'd made friends with all those years ago, not the moody, prejudice got he became in front of his friends, or the angry, hateful victim he turned into when Potter and his stupid friends were around. This was the friendly and modestly boastful boy she'd been so eager to come to Hogwarts with.

He waved his wand calling out a spell she'd never heard of before, no doubt showing off just a little, and all the snow within a yard radius piled itself in a single great heap but did nothing else. It didn't form itself into some sort of heavenly being or take off into flight.

"That looks less like an angel than," she started, and that appeared to be what he was waiting for as he waved his wand again and the snow fell back to its former position leaving a life-sized ice sculpture of an angel.

"It's beautiful," she said as she ogled at the statue ignoring the slight uncanny feeling as she realized it looked just like her.

He opened his mouth to say something cocky when without warning the sculpture exploded causing Lily to scream in surprise as shards of ice flew like shrapnel around them.

Severus conjured a shield around them, turning the ice into little more than harmless, but cold, rain.

"All right, Evans?" said an amused voice that made her blood boil.

Why couldn't Potter go back to whatever hole he'd been hiding in all year?

"Oops," she heard Black say as the rain stopped and she could look up again. He was the one with his wand up, rather than Potter but he was grinning all the same. "Sorry, I thought it was a troll." Black grinned at his own taunt.

"You little…" she started but Severus didn't bother with words he shot a silent spell at Black who blocked it effortlessly. "Severus stop," Lily ordered as he looked ready to have another go at the prat.

"They're not worth it," she turned to the boys who were congratulating Sirius on his joke, all but Remus who appeared to be making himself very small and very determinedly not looking in her direction. Severus ignored her and aimed at Potter this time. That was enough motivation for Black and Potter to start a full on fight. Lily yelled for Severus to stop before they all got in trouble, Pettigrew was cheering on Potter and Black while Remus tried even harder to look invisible.

"Sev stop it!" she yelled attempting to pull him away but he bucked her off knocking her into the snow. "Potter, Black, go away!" she tried again, but she might as well have been talking to a wall. "I'm a prefect! So help me god I will give you detentions!"

There was no sign that they'd even heard her. Snow was flying through the air multicolored spells zoomed back and forth, things were exploding. She gave a cry of frustration, before desperately turning to the other prefect. "Remus help me." His pale cheeks went pink and he looked from her to James then to Sirius and back to her, half-heartedly muttering something she couldn't hear before pointedly looking away.

That bloody coward!

"Fine!" she cried finally causing them to take notice of her. "I hope you all end up in the medical wing!" she turned and stormed back into the castle. It didn't take long for the sounds of fighting to start back up again.

"Oooh, someone's gonna die," she heard a voice behind her that was ridiculously cheery for what it had been saying. Alice jogged up beside her taking three stairs at a time until they were walking side by side. "Is it Catherine?" she asked referring to one of the other Gryffindor fifth years. "Please tell me it's Catherine."

"Lily couldn't respond in normal sentences she was so angry and satisfied herself by calling hem all immature, self-righteous pompous tarts, it wasn't even just Potter and his prats she was insulting.

"Oh, Potter then," Alice corrected herself, as Lily hadn't actually said their names, shaking her head.

"Not just Potter! All of them, Sev lets himself get riled up so easily Lupin's a bloody coward and won't even try to rein them in…" she ranted ready to go on for hours.

"Well we're all a bit silly when it comes to our friends," she shrugged.

Lily ignored her, "And Black," she gave another frustrated growl, "I don't know what you see in him, Alice. I really don't, he's arrogant…"

"Yes," Alice agreed.

"Annoying,"

"Merlin yes,"

"Bullying,"

"Can't argue there,"

"Vain,"

Alice just giggled at this one,

"Self-centered,"

"And there's where I've got to stop you." Alice shook her head her hands in her pocket and a fond smile.

"Huh?"

"Sirius isn't self-centered. I will agree with everything you just called him and add plenty more," she said as Lily gave the Fat Lady the password. "But Sirius is nowhere near self-centered." She grinned at Frank who was coming towards them with a serious expression on his face "And here's the proof."

"We need to talk," Frank said trying to keep his voice down.

"Whatever about?" Alice asked with an innocent expression.

"You know full what, leave Sirius alone." Frank crossed his arms. Alice's eyes raised though she still had the same triumphant grin on her face.

"What I do with my boyfriend has nothing to do with you, Frank." She scolded I don't tell you what to do with your girlfriend."

"Don't give me that, Alice. You know full well neither of you is remotely interested in this relationship. He's practically gynophobic and you're doing everything in your power to make him uncomfortable." Frank accused now pointing at Alice as though to emphasize his point.

Lily blinked in surprised, her mouth opening as though to protest. She knew that Black wasn't particularly interested in the opposite sex, but to imply that he was actively afraid of women was taking it a bit far.

Then again she had seen the way Sirius acted around Alice, someone he considered a friend always attempting to keep her at arm's length, flinching at every touch, she'd even noticed him attempting to hide behind James, and once Remus of all people, when he saw her.

"Calling it a phobia is a bit excessive don't you think?" Alice giggled a little.

"It won't be by the time you're done with him."

"If Sirius isn't happy with our relationship he can tell me himself, thanks." Alice shook her head walking in the direction of the cushy armchairs by the fire but Frank stepped in her way.

"Yeah except every time he tries you start pretending to cry, "frank threw his arms up in the air in frustration, "causing him to freak out and give up!"

"I know," Alice giggled, "Isn't he adorable?" Lily watched Alice's grin widened, she wanted to laugh at them. Did they really know Black at all? How many first years had come running to her, as a prefect, crying because of Sirius Black? They thought he had some kind of aversion to seeing people cry? Black enjoyed making girls cry.

Frank sighed, "what do you want?" he asked giving up on convincing her outright. Lily was entirely baffled this entire conversation, Alice had claimed she would see proof that Black wasn't as self-centered as she claimed, but all she was seeing was Frank accusing her of using Black, Alice would never…"

"You know full well what I want," Alice said the smile that hadn't yet left her face shifting to a smirk.

"Alice!" Lily exclaimed, horrified by the confirmation that her friend had done exactly what she was being accused of. Alice winked at her.

"Are you telling me…" he paused as though he really didn't want to say it, "That you're tormenting Sirius just to get me to date you?"

"Heaven's no," she put on an innocent expression that fooled no one. "I just want you to dump that pansy you call a girlfriend," she shrugged.

"I can date whomever I want Alice! I don't need your permission!" he was seething by now and they were the center of attention in the common room.

"Of course you can, and by extension so can I." She threw herself onto a couch in as casual a way as possible.

"You specifically said you couldn't care less if I started dating, was even offended that I had to ask. 'We're only sixteen,' you said 'who cares about who dated who at sixteen' you told me, 'it's never serious at sixteen."

"And I don't. I wasn't lying. You're so blind!" she rolled her eyes, Lily began to worry that this was going to turn into a legitimate fight between the two.

"I'm blind?"

"She's not looking for a few kisses in a broom cupboard, you idiot!" Alice cried with exasperation, there were a few giggles from eavesdroppers but Frank just blinked at her.

"So you decided to annoy Sirius Black into convincing me to dump her rather than just telling me you don't like her?"

"You wouldn't have listened," she growled.

"Of course, I wouldn't have! But that's no reason to torture Sirius!"

"Torture is such a strong word." She said slowly she looked triumphant.

"Then what would you call it?"

"A hostage situation." She winked at Lily who groaned.

"I should refuse, just to spite you." He growled glaring at her now.

"That won't do Sirius any good, now will it?"

Frank moaned his face in his hands. "Fine, for god's sake fine. I'll dump Patricia, happy now?"

"Yep." Alice jumped up, looking bright and cheerful, as though they hadn't just been fighting. "I'll go tell Sirius he's off the hook then. C'mon Lily."

They made it out of the portrait before Lily rounded on her.

"You've been using him!" she accused, she was trying to wrap her brain around the idea that her friend who she'd always seen put everyone else above herself, could have done something so… so cruel.

"Of course I have." Alice giggled, "don't look at me like that, Lily. He knew full well I was only using him."

"He did?"

"Well admittedly, I told him. I wanted to make Frank jealous but it's the same basic idea." She shrugged as they climbed back down the stairs looking for all the world like she'd just won the house cup entirely on her own.

"Oh, I see." She continued to follow Alice, feeling much better about the whole situation now. "What did you mean by proof that Black's not self-centered?"

"What? It wasn't obvious?"

"He said that Black freaked out at seeing you cry but I've seen him make loads of girls cry, so what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, obviously it only applies to people he cares about.." She looked back at Lily and sighed. "Frank wasn't lying when he said Sirius wasn't interested in dating me, so why did he agree?"

"You're his friend and you needed his help, but helping out a friend doesn't disqualify a person from being selfish."

"It does when that friend goes out of they're way to make it as hard for you as possible." She continued to explain. "Sirius isn't gynophobic, not really, but he does have a strong aversion to girls, possibly a result of his wretched mother and ruthless cousin aided by the female population as unanimous ability to turn into soppy puddles of mush the moment he so much as looks at them.

"Yet he put up with me hanging all over him for a solid four months before desperately begging Frank to find some way to convince me to dump him. His concern for my feelings not allowing him to take the easy route and dump me himself."

"So you're saying…"

"I'm saying that Sirius is probably one of the least self-centered people I know of. The exact opposite really. The feelings and concerns of the people around him sort of control everything he does. You don't see the way he watches Remus when Remus is particularly ill or watched him goading James to laugh when you storm off in a rage at something James said. Sure he can be cruel to people he doesn't care about but once he considers you a friend there is nothing Sirius won't do for you. Sirius is incredibly empathetic, especially when you consider his background."

"His background?" Lily repeated curiously, she knew the Blacks were known to be dark wizards but that was really all she knew about the old wizarding family.

"Lily you need to understand. I knew him back then, back when he was one of them. I grew up passing them in Diagon Ally, I watched my mother chat with his while he and his brother looked on. It was like watching a funeral procession most the time, honestly. All wearing black cloaks looking glum, he was one of them. At best I'd see him look around curiously at something or other, or make a joke to his brother that at best caused a short grin. It was depressing. Until I saw him get in a fight with his brother in a potions shop one day when their mum wasn't around I'd thought they might not even be human." She shook her head with laughter in her eyes, and Lily got the impression that there was something Alice wasn't telling her. "Hogwarts was a bit of shock for him, honestly. He's just not used to seeing people show so many emotions all at once and finds it fascinating, exciting even, he told me so a few years ago. It was like some kind of floodgate opened, and he realized he had all these feelings he'd never allowed himself to express and now he doesn't quite know how to close it again, so he explodes. He's never happy, or sad, or mad, but rather static, or depressed, or infuriated, and it's the same way with people, he doesn't like or dislike people he loves them or hates them, no in betweens. But for those he loves, you'll never find someone more empathetic."

Lily thought about this as they entered the great hall, she got a fleeting glance of Severus, bloody lip and a new limp, before he stormed out of the room not seeing her. She turned to James and his friends, wet and bruised, James himself had a pretty nasty cut on his arm but it was Remus Black had a hold of his wand pointing at Remus' shoulder through the prefects ripped robes. Black was calling Severus all sorts of names from what she could understand between words she didn't know (was that French?) Severus had made a cheap shot at Remus though Remus hadn't been fighting, hadn't even been armed.

"He won't even be angry when I tell him," Alice said smiling fondly at him as he finished with Remus and turned to James' cut, she hadn't known Black knew healing magic.

It seemed fitting.

Alice wasn't wrong, after his initial cheer at hearing that she was dumping him, she explained her whole plan including purposefully using his weakness for tears to her advantage. He went redder than she could have imagined as Potter laughed at him and Remus snickered but he did little more than pout about it.

"Thanks, Sirius," Alice said after her explanation was finished, hugging him, he didn't flinch, no doubt more comfortable now that the stigma of girlfriend was gone.

"Yeah sure, anytime." he said awkwardly, "Just next time, I dunno, less acting like a creep if you don't mind." It was sweet that he forgave her so easily, and contradicted everything she'd known about Black. This, more than anything, proved Alice' words to her.

The moment was ruined when Potter noticed her and cried out in an unnecessarily loud voice to let her know that he was, in fact, still single and she was forced to give a rude reply and storm off huffing about a different marauder this time.

A/N) Jeeze guys, I got more reviews on that fake chapter than I have on the last three chapters, and it was only up for a day! ^_^ Glad y'all liked it.