Chapter 156

Crush

"Imperio!" James' voice was getting louder each time he attempted the spell, as though screaming at the top of his lungs would force the spell to work. It didn't work, he hadn't much expected it to work but he was disappointed anyway. Sirius showed no sign of being mind controlled into stopping his assault on James' favorite Quidditch book.

James fought against Sirius' spell nailing him to the spot without realizing he was. He could just repair it later, he could even use a different spell to stop Sirius now, but that felt like cheating.

And James Potter was no cheater.

"Imperio," he tried again. Sirius rolled his eyes and ripped another page to shreds.

"Yelling at your wand isn't going to make it work," he said sprinkling the scraps onto James' bed. They joined the others in the hearty pile.

"Darn it, Padfoot. I feel like I'm gonna go to, err you-know-where,"

"The word is Hell, you sissy girl. And that's natural, you've just got to ignore it. You're not doing the spell to hurt anyone, remember."

"Yeah, I know." James sighed and tried again, taking care to not shout.

The audible rip was his answer.

Their practice was no more successful three hours later when they climbed down the stairs for lunch, the only noticeable progress was Sirius finishing destroying James' book and turning to wrap a present that he was being irritatingly cryptic about. James had to hide his pout, being unable to explain it to his parents but Sirius didn't bother. James wasn't sure when Sirius' cocky grin had faded into impatient eye rolling but he did know that it was entirely unfair. He'd never performed dark magic before, and he planned to never do it again, he couldn't be expected to get it in one try. Just because Sirius…

James chuckled, shaking his head at Sirius' silent inquiry, so this was what jealousy felt like. No wonder so many people glared at them, it felt like crap.

James shook any hint of jealousy off, deciding that Sirius had an unfair advantage anyway, and joined his parents at the table.

The conversation turned to the plans for Christmas the next day, most of the family was coming over as always, except Aunt Tris and Uncle Talian on his dad's side of the family as the latter was in St. Mungos for some weird mutated muggle disease, and Cousin Alexis on his mom's side who was spending Christmas with her overseas boyfriend. Sirius was quiet in the face of all this family gossip despite all of Euphemia's attempts to involve him.

"And Sirius is coming to church with us," James announced grinning at how fast his brother looked at him.

"I never said that!"

"No, I did."

"You can't just..."

"And you can't just tear up my stuff."

Sirius glared at him.

"Oh that's wonderful, Sirius," Euphemia said delighted by this announcement as though they hadn't been arguing at all. "You'll absolutely love the pastor, he's such a sweetheart."

"Not on your life," Sirius murmured so she couldn't hear. James continued to smile, he knew Sirius wouldn't let Euphemia down.

Sirius all but attacked him after lunch when they retreated to James' bedroom.

"You want to go, you know you do," James shrugged off all of Sirius' complaints, they weren't even very good.

"Want to? Are you trying to convince me to hit you?"

"What's the big deal? It's only an hour or so, you don't even have to pay attention. Dad falls asleep all the time."

Sirius groaned so loud it was almost a roar, James wondered if he was having trouble putting the problem in words or if it was just an expression of frustration at the whole conversation.

"That's not the problem!"

"Then what is?" James was beginning to suspect the former.

"I don't have anything to wear," it was a shot in the dark and James knew it, a diversion. Giving a minor excuse so he didn't have to acknowledge the real problem.

"We're practically the same size, Padfoot, you can borrow something of mine."

"You're taller than me,"

"Not enough to matter, besides magic,"

"Isn't that kinda not on? Using magic too… I mean aren't they like anti-magic?"

James stared at him, blinking several times before laughing. Sirius pouted at him.

"Is that it? That's your problem, that they don't like magic? Padfoot, their definition of magic is satan worship and human sacrifice. I think we're okay to lengthen a pair of slacks."

"I don't think they care much about the difference."

"That's because they don't know there is a difference. They're not picky. And you're not your parents." He added the last as an afterthought, he had a feeling that was the real underlying issue.

Sirius crossed his arms tight across his chest and looked away, James figured he was right. "You're fine, Padfoot, stop worrying so much."

Sirius looked towards the door, James guessed he was thinking about Euphemia's reaction if he bailed.

"I guess it's worth a shot."

James managed to hold back his cheer and tried to act casual like he'd expected it all along. Sirius awkwardly returned to his half wrapped mystery present. He kept wrapping and unwrapping it using different paper or sometimes the same paper just a different piece each time he did so.

"That's what I thought. More importantly, though, who's that present for?"

-O-

"This is a bad idea," Sirius stopped in front of the entrance to the muggle church causing James to run right into him.

"Holy, really Padfoot?"

"Sorry." Sirius' body language was defensive again, rubbing his arm and eyes flickering back towards the house. James was irritated, it had taken half an hour, half an hour of ignoring all the family left in the house and not playing with his new Christmas presents, for James to find him an outfit he was content with and he wasn't about to let the pup back out now.

James grabbed his shoulders, turned him back to the door and pushed him up the stairs saying nothing, Sirius knew what he wanted to say already. Sirius didn't fight him or even protest. They had officially found the one place in the world that terrified the rebellious teen, a tiny country church.

If James hadn't been Sirius' best friend and trying very hard to be supportive he would have laughed at how pathetic it was.

James pushed him into the church, where they were instantly greeted by the friendly, old door people. To James' relief, they picked up Sirius' discomfort quick enough to not make it worse with questions and just asked for his name and said they were happy to see him. James hit Sirius in the back before he could make a sarcastic remark back and they went to find seats.

James liked the little church, the people were all friendly and they had some pretty fun activities during the summer. Everything he knew about muggle sports had come from events they held in the local park, he'd even been invited to participate several times, and he wasn't bad. If he knew the rules properly he thought he might even have been pretty good. They didn't hold a candle to Quidditch though.

There was nothing to how the place looked all decked out for Christmas though. It was absolutely wonderful. The Christmas tree off to the side of the alter sparkled with glitter, tinsel, and lights. The angel on top wore an elegant white gown that was simple in design but had an extravagance that could only mean it was hand made. Under it was boxes and cans of food given by regular church-goers to a local charity.

The lights on the floor of the stage surrounding the choir were the same as on the tree, white and sparkling like the sun reflecting off the snow outside. They worked together with the lamp post props to make the choir itself look like carolers on the street.

It didn't have the grandeur of Hogwarts' Christmas decoration, but there was a homely feel to it that an ancient castle could never have achieved.

James pushed Sirius passed the similarly decorated pews to where his parents had found them all seats and sighed with relief when they all got seated and Sirius wasn't likely to attempt an escape.

The Pastor noticed them before long and came to greet them, his sister coming along. Sirius didn't even look at them until the reverend addressed him directly with a handshake and a good to see you, he also seemed to sense Sirius' unease so he didn't linger. The reverend's sister Hannah greeted them as well and James saw something he'd never expected from his best friend.

Sirius stared at her, not drooling or gaping but his eyes seemed glued. She was pretty if you liked soft gentle features rather that fierce beauty. James didn't prefer it, of course, and hadn't so much as considered her, but Sirius seemed fixated by her loose brown hair and chocolate eyes, or maybe it was long Christmas dress and the cute Santa hat. James didn't know but Sirius didn't look awkward and uncomfortable now that was for sure. He had a small smile on his face and reached out to shake her hand willingly. She didn't seem to notice, though James thought he was being obvious. He knew Sirius better than most but he thought she should at least have laughed at him. She just smiled asked him a few questions about himself, he even answered a couple of them truthfully, and thanked him for coming. His eyes followed her as she moved on to the next group of new arrivals.

"Subtle." James teased and Sirius turned back to him.

"Shut up," he said turning back but she'd gone out of sight. He swore under his breath, before looking around to make sure no one had heard him, as though he'd momentarily forgotten where he was.

"You were practically ogling at her."

"She didn't notice."

"Or she thought you were a creep and was sticking around out of duty."

"She was not, shut up. I'm half in love already." He was still looking around for the moment she came back in view. "She's our age, right?"

James laughed, Sirius didn't even blush.

"Well, it looks like we've found your type."

"I do not have a type."

"Was it the fancy dress? I'll bet it was the fancy dress. I swear sometimes you're incredibly posh."

"I am not." Sirius finally turned away from the back of the room pouting with his arms crossed and slouching in his seat like a child.

"You really are. Regardless…" James said ignoring Sirius' attempt to interrupt him, "you're in luck she's in the choir. You can stare at her all night if you wanna."

Sirius hit him, but James could see the way his eyes darted to the stage as though hoping she'd apparated there while he wasn't looking.

"You two alright?" Fleamont asked looking over at them, he wasn't scolding them for fighting in church, not really, but that was about as close as he got. James and Sirius replied in the affirmative in unison.

They were greeted by several more people before the program began, some of them James knew from previous visits, some he just knew from around town. There were a couple he didn't know at all, but most he'd seen at some time or another.

And then the lights dimmed, the Christmas decorations giving off enough light to read by on their own. They were asked to sing a song from the books, Sirius did at first but then some people nearby looked in their direction and he stopped, though James was fairly certain it was him and his father they were looking at as neither of them cared a lick that they were wretched singers. Then the choir showed them up by singing something else. Sirius' eyes were glued ahead only looking away when James laughed at him, and even then not for long.

The service wasn't long, lots of Christmas carols and some preaching that had Fleamont out like a light in less than five minutes (he didn't snore much to his family's relief) and it was over. James thought that Sirius might have actually enjoyed himself, even if it wasn't for the reasons James had expected. Euphemia worked on getting Fleamont woken and moving again while James shuffled around to try and introduce Sirius to some of the guys he'd played basketball with over the summer, dragging the poor puppy behind him when it was obvious there were other places Sirius wanted to be at that moment. Sirius didn't complain, but he did turn in Hannah's direction several times.

They told Sirius he should come over during the summer sometime and play with them, but it was their sisters that were more interested and it wasn't long before Sirius had magically escaped them all in an attempt to get away from them, or at least that's what he told the guys.

He looked around for his brother, dodging people along the way. There were a lot of people in this tiny little church, though they were slowly filtering out.

"Have you seen Padfoot?" He asked his mother who looked at him quizzically.

"Padfoot?"

"Sirius."

"Oh, yes. I thought I saw him headed towards the door, poor thing seemed eager to get out of here."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what he's eager for," James laughed under his breath as he made his own way out though he had a feeling Sirius hadn't made it all the way outside.

He found Hannah before he found Sirius, standing in front of the stairway that led downstairs to where he knew the children activities were usually held as well as the bathrooms, which was no doubt her destination when Sirius had stopped her. James stopped, hoping to eavesdrop a bit, but there were too many people in the middle of too many conversations for him to pick out theirs in particular.

He didn't need to hear them though. When he saw Sirius leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, a smile big enough to be noticeable but not so big it looks dorky. James even thought his hair might be a touch longer, though he couldn't be sure. Someone who hardly knew him wouldn't have noticed at least.

All these signs pointed to one thing with any normal guy, but with Sirius…

"Sirius Black, are you flirting with the pastor's sister?"

Sirius jumped, swearing loudly without meaning to, and took a step back in fright.

Or he would have if there had been floor there to step on, as it were he went tumbling down the stairs.

Hannah gasped and scampered down the stairs after him, no doubt worried he'd hurt himself. James just stared after him, his brain attempting to rationalize what he'd just seen, Sirius Black falling down a flight of stairs, and then began laughing loud and hard. He saw Sirius' face go bright red and it only made him laugh louder.

She didn't quite reach Sirius before he stood, face redder than James had ever seen it, and threw himself out the back door.

It almost made James want to laugh, even more, seeing him take it so seriously, but he refrained.

"He's alright," James said to her confused and worried expression. "He's just used to being so perfect all the time. He doesn't get embarrassed very often."

"I didn't mean to embarrass him," she said, he noticed her cheeks were pink and he got the impression she'd liked Sirius. James tried to keep the irritation down, Sirius could make any woman on the planet fall for him if he wanted.

"You didn't, that was all me," James grinned winking at her and she smiled. "I should probably go find him, will you tell my parents I went home already?"

"Sure, I hope he's okay."

"He'll be fine, his ego has just deflated a touch, perfectly healthy."

"I don't think he's the only one who could use a bit of ego deflating," She laughed as she turned to go back up the stairs.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

She laughed and James went to find Sirius. He doubted the pup had gone far, he didn't think Sirius was embarrassed enough to have run home.

As he'd predicted, Sirius hadn't gone far. He sat under a tree just off the property, James thought he'd been doodling in the snow, but by the time the stag got there he'd messed it all up. His cheeks were still red, but James thought that might have been because of the cold as much as because of anything else.

"Nice job, Casanova." James grinned at him.

"It was your fault." His eyes narrowed but James just laughed and nodded in the direction of the house. They began to walk.

"Should'a stuck around, give her a chance to fuss over you."

"I don't need fussing over."

"No, but then she'd have to touch you."

Sirius hit him again. "Pervert."

James rubbed his shoulder, pouting.

"Are you going to tell me what your mystery present was?" James asked, changing the subject for Sirius' sake, or that's what he told himself, really he just didn't want to get hit again.

"What? Oh, that."

"I thought it was mine since you weren't telling me, but you got me that game…"

Sirius' gaze was everywhere except on James, and his hands went into his pockets.

"It was for Regulus."

James stopped walking, looking at his friend who was still determined to not look him in the eye. "Did you send it?"

Sirius stopped too, kicking at a rock in the road and watching it go a few feet and into a snowdrift. "Yeah."

"What was it?"

"A locket," he said finally looking at James. "I didn't put a picture in it. I was going to, but I thought that might be a bit too much."

"Sure," James wasn't entirely sure what he was agreeing to, but he did anyway. No doubt Sirius had sent it out last night, and it hadn't been sent back yet so that's something at least.

"I don't know, I thought he'd like it. Maybe he won't… Maybe he won't because it was from me."

"I wish I could say that's not possible." James sighed shaking his head, Sirius looked away again though it was less awkward this time.

"Regardless, I tried at least."

"Yeah, it doesn't matter what he thinks."

"Right. But it would be nice."

"Yeah, yeah it would."