Sirius was one hundred percent done with homework. Like seriously, how many times was he expected to write a report about stuff he either already knew, or didn't care about without throwing a fit? OWLs were just another test, just like they'd had last year, just like they'd had the year before that. Why was everyone making such a big deal?

Especially Remus.

When July finally came around and they were looking at less than a month before their OWL exams Remus began to panic.

"McGonagall said they're the most important tests of our lives," Remus argued as he searched for his Arithmancy textbook. Sirius could have told him exactly where it was as he'd cleaned the room himself, but his hair was still frizzy from all the water Remus had sprayed him with, so he wasn't feeling very helpful.

"No, those are NEWTs," James countered, a book was open in front of him, but Sirius knew full well he hadn't read a word since Remus had declared it was time to study without their consent.

"But Flitwick said-"

"They're just trying to scare you, Moony," James interrupted.

Sirius went back to ignoring them. He too had a textbook open, but he wasn't even sure which textbook it was. Preferring instead, to doodle on their map. The lake they'd visited the last full moon probably didn't need to be included, but he didn't see any reason not to either.

The map itself was incredible, what had started as a quick extra credit project had come alive in a way they couldn't have expected. The Marauders hardly went anywhere without it anymore. It had saved their hides several times since they'd given it the ability to track everyone in the castle. They'd, of course, had to put several more defensive measures on it since then. Sirius knew full well how dangerous it could be if the Slytherin's got ahold of it. His favorite was a special charm that would make it insult Snape. Just Snape, no one else.

It would be comedy gold if he ever got his hands on it. Not that they'd ever let that happen.

He sighed to himself as he finished up the drawing. He was bored out of his mind and thinking about Snape really made him want to hex someone, namely Snivellus himself. And the map was, helpfully, responding to his wishes and showing him exactly where Snape was right then. He wasn't even in the Slytherin common room, just out in the open, surrounded by people Sirius knew would enjoy the entertainment. He'd be such an easy target.

But what was the point without James? And since James was trying to not lose his captain's badge he wasn't going to come with anyway.

"Sirius, if you don't stop sighing I'm going to throw something at you," Remus warned, still testy about not being able to find his textbook.

"I'm bored," he groaned before coming up with a great idea. "Hey, if we're going to be studying the rest of the night we should have snacks. C'mon Prongs."

He leaped up off the bed, map in hand, before Peter could offer to go get them and grabbed James' arm dragging him out of the room.

"Moony'll be mad," James said shaking off Sirius' grip and walking alongside him. "But thanks for the save."

"He'll be fine as long as we bring back chocolate." Sirius was watching the map, trying to find the best route to the kitchens that crossed paths with Snape. James wasn't willing to go looking for targets now but Sirius knew he wouldn't be able to resist himself if there were enough people to show off to. What Sirius hadn't noticed when he'd seen Snape's greasy little dot was the name of the annoying red-headed prefect right beside the snake.

He cursed to himself as James zeroed in on the two of them standing close enough that Sirius suspected there was a secret involved. He'd just wanted a bit of fun, not to encourage The Love Triangle from Hell.

James called after Snape, causing several students hanging around to jump in surprise. Most of them looked angry at whoever would dare interrupt their free time until they saw James, then angry glares quickly turned into raised eyebrows and smirks as they noticed the target.

The school knew what's up.

"Yo, Evans," James called cheerily, Sirius said nothing but backed him up anyway. Though he suddenly regretted the whole plan and wondered if it was too late to drag James back to the dorm. Maybe if he could come up with a good excuse...

He couldn't come up with anything that didn't make him look like a pansy, so he pulled out his wand and silently disarmed Snape. He dodged the wand as it flew towards him, as he had no desire to touch it. It probably had every germ known to man, and maybe a few wasn't, growing on it.

Evans immediately moved in front of Snape, causing several students around to laugh at the slimeball.

"Go away, Potter," she sneered, seeming oblivious to the jeers of the crowd.

"C'mon, I haven't even done anything yet."

"You've done plenty."

"Go out with me and I will," he sang and Sirius tried to hold back a groan. James was as charming as a slug sometimes, he had to know his offer would only make her hate him even more.

"Not if you were the last person on earth," she spoke slowly, emphasizing every word.

"Now that's just rude," Sirius spoke up, putting on airs more than anything else. It would do him no good to try and talk James out of his infatuation with the broad, and he didn't like hearing her talk to him like that so he might as well join in the fun. He turned to James, "don't you think that's a little rude?"

"Very rude," James nodded. "You'd think her mother would have taught her better than that."

"I'd say so."

"Don't you dare talk about my mother. Just because she's a muggle-"

"We're not talking about her being a muggle," Sirius interrupted, "we're talking about plain old common courtesy here. About manners, and respect. Y'know proper English behavior. His Highness-"

"Her," James piped in.

"Sorry?"

"Her Highness. We don't have a king."

"What really?"

"Yeah."

"Her Highness then," Sirius looked at James for confirmation, mostly to amuse the now giggling crowd around them. James nodded in response. "Her Highness would be ashamed."

"Excuse me?" she stared at him in a mixture of confusion and rage, "you two are the two of the rudest people I've ever met!"

"Now that's just not true," James shook his head, "Sirius here has been taught perfect manners since he was old enough to pick up a fork, isn't that right?"

"Sure, I just chose to ignore it all." Sirius shrugged, the crowd around them laughed. Evans glared at them, but it did no good, they were hanging on James and Sirius' every word.

"Oh, go show off somewhere else," Evans snapped, "let's go Sev." She tried leading Snape away, but Sirius had fast reflexes and Snape was on the floor before he could take two steps, to the great amusement of the crowd.

"Leave him alone!" Evans responded with a flash of blue light from her wand coming straight at Sirius, he didn't recognize the spell she'd used and that was pretty impressive. James blocked it for him regardless. He really was getting better at shield charms.

This, naturally, led into another argument with Evans' face turning red and James posturing for the crowd, and Sirius using everyone's distraction to take a peek at the map, hoping to see a teacher he could use as an excuse to drag James away.

Luck, however, was not on his side today, and the halls were empty of anyone who would object to this display.

But that didn't mean he couldn't pretend there was.

"Prongs, mate, we need to go," Sirius whispered urgently, he made a show of putting away the map when James looked back at him. Sirius didn't even need to lie as James immediately interpreted that to mean there was someone coming.

James made a flashy sort of wand twirl to finish off, distracting everyone with an impressive firework display hurled directly at Snape as they made a break for it.

"We still need to grab those snacks for Remus and Peter," James reminded as they climbed into a secret passage once they were out of sight of the crowd.

Sirius nodded, relieved that it had actually worked, he loved picking on Snape as much as the next guy, but when Evans was around he wasn't so keen on it. He'd enjoyed having her as a partner when he'd still been in divination, and she'd been surprisingly easy to talk to. He knew she hated him, but she'd never been outright rude or judging.

And, if he was being honest with himself, he still hadn't forgotten about how she'd defended him against her peers when most of the school had labeled him a spy or traitor.

He wanted to like Lily Evans, honestly, he wanted to be her friend. But so long as she hung out with that slimeball, and James insisted on chasing her like a piece of meat, he knew it would never happen.

That was just how things were, and most likely how they would always be. He'd accepted that, a long time ago.