Chapter 167
Never again
It wasn't even the worst day of Lily's life. That was still and always would be the day she'd found Petunia's letters to Dumbledore. Losing her sister had been so much more painful.
Because it had been unexpected.
Lily had been waiting for Snape to plop that last straw down. It had been coming for months, years even. When was the last time they'd had a conversation that hadn't ended in a fight?
She couldn't remember.
There was no guilt as she left Snape to Potter and Black's fun. Not even a sense of dread for what they were going to do next. She didn't look back, she didn't clinch a fist, and she didn't run. She walked. Every step took her further and further as cries of mudblood rang in her ears.
She was in tears by the time she returned to the common room anyway.
Tears for a friendship she'd lost a long time ago.
Alice was all over her in a heartbeat. Half carrying her up the stairs because Lily couldn't even see through the tears and had run into at least three people. Alice took her to the sixth years' dorms, of course, Marline and Zoe were already there playing some card game that was abandoned the moment they saw her.
She told them everything.
None of them were surprised, but all of them loved her too much to say so. Alice held her tight, Marline wrapped a blanket around them both, Zoe dug out the secret stash of never-melting ice cream kept for just such heartbreaks.
After Andrea, they'd worked out a support system, the Gryffindor girls. Or most of them. The rest of her class, the other fifth years, as well as a few others, were too busy with their Sirius Black fan club to care about anyone else. But most were on board. Any girl, even the ones who weren't bothered, could come to any other Griffindor girl with their problems. Whether that problem was something at home, school, or anywhere in between. If you turned away someone asking for help you were ostracized for life. Or at least until you'd properly made amends. Several younger students she'd never even met had come to Lily herself for different problems. It was an unspoken rule that your sisters would take care of you.
They refused to lose anyone else to grief.
"You did your best Lils. No one blames you." Zoe handed her a spoon and the entire tub of ice cream. It was vanilla because one of the first years was allergic to chocolate.
Lily gave a sad giggle. The head girl had bought the ice cream and stashed it in the seventh year girls' dorm with express permission for anyone to come get it in the event of an emergency. Lily had bought the spoons herself though. Wizards didn't bother with plastic silverware.
This isn't what she'd imagined they'd be used for, but she was thankful none the less.
"I know," she said hiccuping. "And I've been waiting for it for so long but…"
"But you hoped he'd come around," Marline finished for her. "But that's what makes you such a great friend. You gave him so many chances to turn around. You never gave up on him. But eventually, you've got to look out for yours. He doesn't deserve you, Lily. Not anymore. Save your energy for someone you can help, not someone you can't."
"Exactly. You are way too good for him, girl. That much love shouldn't be wasted on a prejudice git like that." Alice squeezed her a little too hard but Lily was just thankful she was there.
There was a knock on the door and their head girl poked her head in.
"I heard crying, is everything alright?" Ann was beautiful, a real-life Barbie doll. Long blond hair, shapely figure, perfect legs, she hardly seemed real.
She was also the kindest person Lily had ever met.
"Snape finally did it," Alice put every ounce of contempt she could muster into his name and Ann understood immediately.
"Oh, hun. I'm sorry."
Lily just sobbed back, ice cream abandoned, and hunched over her own legs.
"Are you done with exams for today? Should I go to McGonagall?" she asked kneeling beside the bed, right next to Zoe and running a hand through Lily's tussled hair. Lily shook her head.
"I- I'm done." She choked out clarifying.
"Good. We can't have our favorite girl failing any of her OWLs. Not when she worked so hard."
Zoe giggled. "You know better than that Ann, Lily couldn't fail a test if she was obliviated right before she took it."
Lily couldn't help but laugh in between hiccups.
"There's that pretty smile we love so much." Ann had a bright smile of her own, and with a silent wave of her wand, a handkerchief appeared out of thin air. Lily accepted it with a thanks.
Though they all had exams of their own in the morning and Ann had NEWTS she, no doubt needed every second of studying she could find they stayed with her for several hours, each ending up with a plastic spoon of their own as they ate the ice cream together.
By the time she all but forced Ann back to her studies, the tub was empty-Lily would buy them a new one, of course- and she'd accepted Zoe's offer to sleep in the sixth year dorm with them. She was feeling much better as she replaced her school robes with a nightgown, a good thing because that was when Mary came in telling them that Snape was threatening to sleep by the fat lady's portrait if she didn't come out and talk to him.
She seriously considered letting him. No doubt he'd be caught out after hours, she had half a mind to go tell Ann to give him detention the second curfew hit. But that would be spiteful, and he wasn't worth it.
Instead, she stormed down the stairs fully intending to punch him in the face, until she saw Potter sitting in the common room. He looked so tense like it was taking every ounce of willpower he had to not go throw Snape down a flight of stairs. He hadn't gotten caught for his fun earlier, or he'd be in detention, and he obviously knew Snape was out there. But he wasn't doing anything about it.
He looked at her and made a show of how good he was being. It would have been funny if it wasn't so pathetic.
Black threw a crumpled up piece of paper at him.
She ignored them both and stormed out the portrait door.
One of these days she'd find a guy who both liked her and wasn't a terrible person. But today wasn't that day.