"I don't need to ask-obviously because you're brilliant-but how'd you do on your OWLs?" James asked as casually as he could, hands in his trouser pockets, not too close but not far enough to be easily ignored and keeping the perfect pace to look like they were just having a pleasant conversation.

Evans was ignoring him anyway.

James had bribed Remus into telling him when Evans was scheduled to walk the isles of the train. And as expected she had started her rounds perfectly and punctually. She was reliable that way.

Which meant she couldn't avoid him without defaulting in her prefect duty. And since he wasn't technically doing anything wrong-refusing to acknowledge his existence also meant she couldn't tell him to go away-she couldn't even give him detention for it.

Though it being the end of the year might have helped too. But his plan was cleverer than that so it had to be the former reason.

"No doubt you passed everything, of course. So did I, I'm sure. But there's a difference between an O and an E, you know. Even I can't expect to have gotten an O on everything. So there might be one or two Es on my results."

Her expression was hard and angry, the closest thing he'd gotten to a reaction in half an hour. It was a mixed feeling, it meant that she was still listening despite herself but at the same time he didn't want her to be angry at him.

Or, he didn't now that he realized he'd crossed a line at some point. James still wasn't entirely sure what line he crossed or when, but now she refused to even argue with him. And he wasn't okay with that. Not even a little.

In a rare moment of self-reflection, he examined his words and attempted to figure out what he'd said that upset her. Sirius claimed she thought he was conceited. So maybe it was him talking about his own test scores? Maybe he should be talking about her, not him.

It was weird but maybe?

"You probably beat me in charms," he tried, wincing when he realized he'd accidentally included himself anyway. This was going to take some practice.

"You know… cuz you're so charming."

Wait, Sirius had said no flirting. Crap! Why was this so hard!

"You know they're having the quidditch world cup finals in America this year." Ha! Save zone. He could talk about quidditch all day without mentioning himself if he was talking professional.

Evans liked quidditch right? She comes to the games.

Of course, she likes quidditch. Everyone likes quidditch.

"It's in Ohio, wherever that is. The Americans managed to qualify this year. I think it's a first for them. Ireland will cream them anyway though. Ireland will cream anyone. Their chaser-"

James continued describing each member of both teams in thorough detail since she wasn't willing to tell him to shut up. Even Sirius wouldn't let him talk this long about quidditch. But she didn't even look in his direction.

Three times in the past hour he'd double-checked to see if he was accidentally wearing his invisibility cloak. Maybe Sirius had put a silencing charm on him without him noticing as a joke? But nope, she just doing a stellar job of pretending he wasn't there.

She could at least have the courtesy to yell at him or something.

"Did you know that the last time Ireland wasn't in the top ten teams was way back in-"

A tingle in the back of his neck stopped him in his tracks and he spun around a shield charm raised before he even recognized the warning as such.

A shower of sparks crashed against the shield distinctly aimed for him, rather than her which meant he knew exactly who had thrown it.

"All right, Snivellus?"

Figures, now Evans was reacting. Now that the sniveling death eater had appeared out of nowhere.

"Leave her alone."

"No one asked for your-"

"Expelliarmus." Evans' charm came out of nowhere and neither boy was expecting it. It took James a second to realize it hadn't been aimed at him.

Evans caught Snape's wand deftly and turned on him. "No magic on the Express. I case you've forgotten, Snape, last time we were riding this train home there was a coordinated attack by pureblood supremacists. As a prefect I'm confiscating your wand. You can pick it up from the conductor before you disembark. Try anything else and I will alert the Aurors on duty in the front and back of the train. This is your only warning."

She stormed off and James, laughing at Snape's stupid face, followed.

"Anyway last time-"

"Shut up." She finally, finally! acknowledged his presence rounding on him with her wand raised. "Don't ever talk to me again."

"What'd I-"

"I am not your girlfriend." She wasn't even yelling. Her voice, her posture, was completely calm. Yet there was a dangerous air to her that even Sirius couldn't have achieved.

"I will never be your girlfriend, I will never be your friend. Ever. I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone in my life and there is nothing, nothing, you can do to change my mind. So stop wasting both our time and go back to your worthless friends."

If Lily had known how James reacted to that one word, she might have said it a long time ago and saved them both the trouble.

He didn't hit her, he was better than that, but he wanted to. He did, however, grab her wrist and wrench the wand out of his face. Not enough to hurt, hopefully, but she wouldn't have been afraid of him even if it had.

"Don't ever call my friends worthless again."

They stood there for a second, glaring at each other. Both angrier than they'd ever been towards the other, and both too stubborn to realize they'd crossed a line they hadn't meant to cross.

"Let go of me, Potter."

He did.

She turned away.

And he let her leave.

—

"What a git!" Sirius' laugh rang through the mirror. Loud, too loud without a hint of his usual bark.

In other words, it was fake.

James lay on his bed, the afternoon sun shining through his oversized window, Sirius' priceless family heirloom hovering magically over his face. Sirius' face reflected on its surface

Sirius had called him, even though it had only been three hours since they'd parted at King's Cross.

That was never a good sign.

"I know right. I was like 'good to see you too, neighbor."

"Well, you did blow up his flamingo decoration last summer."

"I needed it for a potion!"

James had once again attempted to convince Sirius to just come home with him, spent the whole last week of term subtly dropping hints in between studying for their OWLs and joining Moony for a nighttime romp through the forest. But as usual, he'd been ignored.

Next year James was just going to kidnap him. Moony would help, they could put some sleeping draught in his morning tea.

"Maybe this year I can set their house on fire, it's clear that's what they're expecting at this point."

"Yeah, then next year when you get home they'll just scream and run."

"Still be a better reception than you got, no doubt," James tried knowing it would fail.

"Oh and kick that stupid cat of theirs. It keeps staring at me every time I come over. Creeps me out." Sirius said without missing a beat. As though James had never said anything. As though there wasn't something clearly wrong. As though Sirius didn't keep looking in the direction of his door every few seconds like he was waiting on something to break it down.

"Will do. I'll aim for the pool."

"Good."

There was an awkward silence for about half a second before Sirius found something else to ramble about, purposefully cutting James off before he would ask the question he'd asked three times now.

"You never told me if you got Evans to talk to you."

James tried to not sigh letting himself be led down the rabbit trail.

"We got in a fight." James shrugged.

"Oh, better than the silent treatment at least."

"It really wasn't."

"Oh. Sorry, mate."

"Yeah well. We've got three months, she'll cool off by then." James turned around, laying on his stomach now. "How's your brother?"

It was a safer question than the one he needed to ask. Maybe he could steer the conversation to the important stuff slowly.

"I dunno, Prongs. How are you doing?"

James let himself laugh. It shouldn't have been funny since it was just as evasive as everything else Sirius had said so far. But it was at least clever.

"Brilliant. But you know I meant the sucky one."

"Wormtail?"

"Sirius…"

"Alright, alright. I'll stop being 'willfully obtuse.'" He laughed, quoting McGonagall now. He was quoting teachers to get out of talking about it now. That might just be a new low for him.

"Still an idiot?" James prompted.

"Always. But verging on especially idiotic at the moment. They all are actually, but y' know that's my life."

"Doesn't have to be if you'd just let me kidnap you."

"Does it still count as kidnapping if I let you?"

"Legally? yeah, I think. What are they doing that's so much dumber than usual?"

"Oh, you know… everything. Hey, what are we doing about the full moon? We meeting up at his house again? His parents might get suspicious."

"Well, it's not like we can do anything else. He can't come over here, I live in a muggle town. Don't have a basement either. Do you have a basement?"

"Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Let's bring the half-blood werewolf to the house full of death eaters and psychopaths. That sounds like a plan."

"It was a joke, Padfoot-" he tried, but Sirius wasn't listening anymore.

"Just ignore the literal mass murderer in the sitting room, Moony. It'll be fine."

"What mass murderer?" James sat up and stared at Sirius' suddenly nervous face. There was silence from both of them for a moment. James half terrified and half relieved that it seemed he'd finally gotten to the point of the matter.

"I didn't mean to say that."

"What mass murderer?" James repeated.

Sirius hesitated, again before finally sighing. "Voldemort. Voldemort is in my sitting room. Talking to my parents, and my brother. They're having tea… and biscuits."

James wanted to puke, but not nearly as much as he wanted to reach into the mirror and just pull Sirius out, like some kind of cartoon.

"Padfoot-"

"I'm fine," Sirius said quickly, his eyes flickering to the door again. "I've got lock spells galore on my door. Mum never comes upstairs, I'll be fine."

"Padfoot, just leave. Please. You have a window right, just climb out."

"I'm fine, Prongs. Really. Besides, I'm three stories up."

"Please, I'll pay for the night bus. They let you pay after if you're underage. You can kick the neighbor's cat yourself."

"I'm fine."

"Sirius, I don't want you sleeping in that house!" James was standing now. He wasn't sure when he'd climbed off the bed, but somehow he was standing, his face too close to the mirror and his voice too loud.

"It's not like he's gonna stay the night. He was here before I got back so it's clearly been ages. He might even be gone already. I haven't checked since I arrived."

"Padfoot, please. I know you're worried about Regulus, but you can't help him now. For all you know, Voldemort could be there to recruit him, recruit you both."

"He's fourteen, Prongs."

"You were fourteen when he first approached you."

"Twelve, actually."

"Padfoot!"

"I have to try, James!" Sirius said suddenly. "I know it's dumb. I know it's not going to work. But I have to try. I'm the only thing keeping their attention off him right now. I disappear and he's going to feel like he has to prove his loyalty. And right now the best way to do that is to join that bastard's death cult!"

"That's not your responsibility, Sirius. What Regulus does when you're not around is none of your business."

"He's my little brother!"

"He doesn't deserve to be."

"That's not how it works, Prongs. He doesn't just stop being my little brother because he's an arse. I'm an arse but you're not planning on disowning me, are you?"

"You're not having tea with a man leading a death cult, Padfoot!"

"I can't, James." He said quiet now, "I just can't."

"Darn it, Padfoot."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just… can't."

James threw himself back on the bed. Trying to not throw a tantrum while his best friend was watching. Moving the mirror away from his face so Sirius couldn't see him crying in frustration.

"Call me before you go to bed?" James relented and hated himself for it.

"Sure."

"And when you wake up?"

"Three times before breakfast," Sirius teased, but James wasn't in the mood.

"Last time, Padfoot," James warned. "This is the last time I'm losing this argument."

He hung up, carefully put the mirror away, opened his window, and threw something out. He didn't know what it was, didn't look, didn't care. It landed with a crash in the neighbor's yard, scaring the cat, and probably breaking something. He didn't have the energy left to care.

James didn't let the mirror out of his sight, not during dinner, or when their muggle neighbor visited to complain about the bottle of flying boom handle polish that came crashing through their fence, or when Fleamont had to obliviate their neighbor because obviously, brooms can't fly.

Or when he climbed into bed well after dark and prayed Sirius would call again, because it was way too late and James had called five times and gotten no answer.

They should have kidnapped him this year.