A/N: Added a few paragraphs on 14 January 2022. The added bits reference events from the prequel fic, Legacy, but it's not necessary to read Legacy to understand this chapter.

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Previously in the Darklyverse: After the deaths of Elisabeth Clearwater and Millie LeProut toward the end of the Gryffindors' sixth year, Dumbledore's group of vigilantes joined forces with the branch of the Order of the Phoenix founded by the Gryffindors and their friends at Hogwarts, with one notable exception: Mary elected to leave the organization altogether. Remus and Sirius shared a kiss despite Sirius's repaired relationship with Marlene. When Sirius received a hefty inheritance from his Uncle Alphard, he used some of the money to rent a flat with Lily starting during Easter break of sixth year. Alice and Sirius feuded over their conflicting beliefs about werewolves and purity culture.

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July 6th, 1977: Sirius Black

Sirius has only been Lily's roommate for two weeks, not counting last Easter break when they first rented the flat, but already their space is beginning to feel like home to him. He figures it's probably because he never really felt welcome in his own home growing up. He'd greatly enjoyed staying with James between the time he ran away from Grimmauld Place and the time he and Lily got this place, but Helene's Manor hadn't felt like home, either: he'd had too much anxiety in the back of his mind about whether he was imposing on Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Hogwarts is Sirius's true home, really, mostly because of the people he shares it with—and that's starting to prove true of his and Lily's flat as well.

The lure of not having any parents around to supervise is making Sirius and Lily's flat the go-to hangout of the summer. Every day for the last two weeks, someone or other from Gryffindor has been over, bringing not a lot of hard news but plenty in the way of gossip. Speculation is particularly high about what their first Order assignment from Dumbledore will look like—though that's not something they can talk about when Mary comes over.

Sirius is still shocked that Mary chose to drop out of the Order rather than to stay in it and join forces with Dumbledore's then-unnamed group of renegades. So much of the legwork in the Order's early days was Mary's doing that Sirius never would have dreamed she would pass on a real opportunity to get involved in the war front, something more organized and concrete than their fumbling in the dark on their own. Then again, Elisabeth Clearwater and Mildred LeProut are dead because of them—Sirius can't blame Mary for being rattled by that, not at all. Hell, Sirius is messed up about it.

They manifest their guilt in different ways. James seems determined to avenge their deaths by throwing himself headfirst into the resistance. Peter won't talk about it at all, directing conversations away from anything related to the war. And Remus… Remus seems to be drifting away from the other Gryffindor seventh years altogether.

Of course, for Sirius, that's hardly a change from the way Remus has been avoiding him ever since they kissed at the end of last term.

They haven't talked about it. Sirius hasn't told anybody else about it. He wishes desperately that he could say he didn't kiss Remus back—that he wouldn't do that to Marlene—but he did, and now Sirius has to live with it.

He lies awake at night replaying it in his head—the way Remus looked at him like he could hardly breathe, the way he pressed together their foreheads and then their lips, the way he moved against Sirius, a dance Sirius hadn't known he wanted to do until it was happening, and it's probably a good thing that Remus is avoiding him because Sirius needs time to process what happened, what he wants—he doesn't know what he wants. He'd never thought about Remus that way, at least not consciously, until it happened, and now that it has…

"Sirius?"

It's Lily, standing in the open doorway to Sirius's room. All he can make out is her silhouette in front of the dim light behind her; the shape of her hair is frizzy and knotted. "Hey," he groans, sitting up.

"I can hear you thinking all the way from my end of the flat. You keep making rustling noises."

"Sorry."

"I don't mind; I just—is there anything I can do to help?"

Sirius sits up properly, running a hand down his face. "Not really, but thank you." She nods and turns to go. "Well, actually—"

"Yes?"

Sirius blushes, grateful that she won't be able to see it in the dark. "I have trouble sleeping in a room alone. I'm so used to hearing all the guys' breathing and James's snoring…"

He can't be sure, but he thinks that Lily smiles. "I know. Me, too. Give me a sec, and I'll bring my bed in here."

"Thanks," says Sirius sheepishly.

She retreats again, and then he hears her cast Wingardium Leviosa and she comes back in with the bed in tow, dropping it gently in the free space between the right side of Sirius's bed and the wall. When Lily climbs into bed, Sirius tries his damndest to think about anything other than Remus's hands, without success.

"Are any of the girls coming over tomorrow?" he asks Lily eventually, when neither of them seems able to fall asleep right away.

"Mary and Marlene are," Lily confirms. "Emmeline—well, you know how Emmeline is—and Alice has been sort of cagey about coming to visit here so far, I don't know."

Sirius's stomach churns. Lily doesn't know it, but the whole reason Emmeline often avoids the group is because of Sirius's family—his cousin Bellatrix killing her parents back in fourth year, not that he knew it until she finally confessed to it in sixth year. Alice, on the other hand, Sirius spares no sympathy for.

Maybe part of the reason he's so angry at Alice is that he used to be just like her—worse than her, even. He wears his estrangement from his family like a badge of pride now, but he saw eye-to-eye with his parents and his brother as a child, because why wouldn't he? But then Andromeda told him all about Slytherin's culture of purebloods first and cutthroat bullying and hazing of dissidents, and whatever Bellatrix said about how honorable it was there, that didn't sound like honor to Sirius. Andromeda said that the Muggle-born witches and wizards are just like purebloods when you get to know them—better, even, since they don't treat anybody badly based on where they come from—and Sirius was dubious, but he wanted to find out for himself whether she was right, and he knew that he would have no way of getting close enough to one to find out if he were in Slytherin.

So he went to Hogwarts and got himself Sorted into Gryffindor. The Hat asked him whether he wanted to be put in Gryffindor or Slytherin, and—well, everyone knows what choice he made. And then, up in the dorms that first night, he met Peter. He wasn't the best at magic or the smartest—and regretfully, this aligned with Sirius's expectations of Muggle-borns—but he was thoughtful and loyal, and he noticed things that nobody else noticed, and Sirius would be lying to say he didn't value Peter just as much as James or Remus or even Emmeline, as close as she and Sirius used to be in those days. Even if Muggle-borns were kind of dumb and kind of weak, that didn't mean Sirius wanted them tortured and killed the way Voldemort's followers had already started doing. Besides, even if Peter wasn't the brightest, Snivellus Snape had this Muggle-born best friend who was brilliant at Potions and Charms, and how could that be possible if his parents were thinking of things the right way?

And then they discovered that Remus was a werewolf. Didn't just discover it—Peter pieced it together all on his own, leaving Sirius and James to feel dumb for not noticing the timing of Remus's stays in the Hospital Wing coinciding with full moons. Sirius knew his mother would have a fit if she found out Sirius was consorting with a werewolf, but it was just one more layer of disapproval on top of the mesh of things Sirius had done since starting at Hogwarts that went against his family's beliefs: if he knew his parents were wrong about everything else, then it wasn't a stretch to think that they were wrong about werewolves being lesser, too.

But Alice—rebelling past the pureblood status quo hasn't been an essential part of her dissociating herself from an erratic and violent family. She has reason to trust the people who told her that half-breeds are subhuman, that the wizarding world isn't designed to put Muggle-borns last, and that those who fail in the world have done so because they have personal shortcomings, not because they haven't been given the extra advantages that purebloods have. And that is exactly what makes people like Alice dangerous—because the world is run by people who have the best intentions in keeping others down—and Sirius doesn't know how to explain to her that the world isn't fair, that oppression is systematic.

"Sirius?"

With a jolt, he realizes that he's zoned out and missed whatever she's been trying to tell him. "Sorry, what?"

"I was just asking which of the boys are coming by tomorrow."

"Oh, uh—James and Peter are."

"No Remus again?" asks Lily, taking the words right out of Sirius's head.

"He's taking what happened to Liz and Millie really hard, I think," Sirius mumbles.

She pauses. "It's more than that, though, isn't it? For days at Hogwarts before—that day, he wasn't really talking to you…"

"I can't tell you about it," says Sirius straightaway, feeling the blood rising in his cheeks. "I just can't."

"Okay. Fair enough. But I'm here if you decide you ever want to talk."

Sirius smiles faintly to himself. "Thanks, Lily." On second thought, he adds, "It's funny where we ended up, isn't it? A little over a year ago, you hated me."

"Don't be ridiculous; I never hated you. I just didn't really like you, either."

"Still." He grins wider. "Bet you never thought we'd be living together, huh?"

There's a short silence, and then Lily says, "About that—thank you again for taking me in. I know you know I can't afford to help with the rent right now, when my parents left their entire inheritance to Tuney and I obviously don't have a job, and—"

"It's no problem, Lily, really."

"Yes, but—I just want you to know that I appreciate it, a lot. You didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to."

He still can't make out her face, but this time, he's positive that she's smiling.

xx

The resounding crack when James Apparates into Sirius's living room is what wakes him up the next morning. "I'm coming, I'm coming," Sirius mutters to himself, adding, "Go back to sleep, Lily. It's probably just James."

"James is here?" Lily sits up and swings her legs over the side of her bed. "I should get up—I should—"

"He'll be fine waiting on you for an hour. You should get your rest; you were up late last night."

"You would only know that if you were up late, too," she huffs, but she compliantly lies back down, passing right the hell out again within seconds.

Sirius grins to himself a little and exits the bedroom to, sure enough, find James sprawled out across the sofa with his glasses askew and his hair all floppy. "Morning, Prongs."

"Ready to get your bike in the air?"

He's referring to the Muggle motorbike that Sirius bought last summer and tried enchanting to fly, illegally at the time since he was underage and performing magic over the break. This year, however, they're seventeen, and he and James agreed that today would be the day they would get it up and running. "Just let me eat some cereal and get changed first."

Sirius and Lily really don't have a lot in the way of food in the kitchen—they'll have to find a grocery store and stock up. He steals Lily's cereal, pours himself a bowl, and drains it, then retreats back to the bedroom to dress. "Just me again," he says when Lily stirs. "I've got James taken care of."

"Okay," she mumbles blearily.

Sirius changes in the bedroom—Lily is basically out anyway, so Sirius figures she's not awake enough to care—and then reemerges to find James looking at him funny. "Lily slept with you last night?"

"We both found it easier to sleep with another person in the room," Sirius shrugs. "I have trouble falling asleep without your loud-ass snores keeping me company."

"You're welcome," says James, grinning.

Grease on their hands and in their hair, they're joined after a while by Peter, who Flooes in around ten. Still sixteen for another two weeks, Peter is the only seventh year Gryffindor who isn't old enough to Apparate; luckily for him, however, he petitioned the Ministry for special permission to hook up his Muggle parents' fireplace to the Floo Network years ago. "Marlene and Mary are inside," Peter tells them, plopping down in the grass within the circle of protective enchantments they've cast against Muggles to prevent any of them from seeing Sirius and James do magic. "Do you guys feel up to getting lunch when you're done here?"

"Depends how long this takes, I guess," says James, grinning, as Sirius flourishes his wand again; the motorbike hovers, trembling, two feet off the ground and then collapses into the grass.

It takes them another hour and a half to get the motorbike properly flying. They crowd back inside, up two flights of steps, and through the door of Sirius and Lily's unit, where they find Lily, Mary, and Marlene stretched out in the living room, chatting. "Hey, ladies," Sirius greets them. Crossing the room to where Marlene is sitting in an armchair, he kisses the top of her head and winds his arms around her shoulders, bending forward and breathing hot in her ear. "Hey, Lena."

"Hi, Sirius." She twists her head around to smile at him, and a rush of guilt floods in when he (again) pictures Remus's face, Remus's hands.

Sirius, Lily, and Peter leave Mary, James, and Marlene behind in the flat to hit up the store, grabbing general essentials as well as soup and sandwiches for lunch today. After they get back and dig into lunch, Sirius pays careful attention to the way James and Peter relate to him and to each other. Sirius is pressed up close to Marlene, so Peter and James don't really touch him, but they certainly touch each other—James has one arm slung over the back of the couch, fingers loosely touching Peter's shoulders, as he eats with his free hand.

Two months ago, Sirius never would have second-guessed the casual way he would touch Remus and Peter and James. Whatever's going on between Sirius and Remus, it seems that James and Peter still think nothing of casual affection between the Marauders, and Sirius is almost positive that both of them are straight. Then again, he had been positive that Remus was straight, too, and now he's not sure of that at all.

Of course, Peter and James have both been sexually involved with girls before, whereas Remus—to Sirius's knowledge, the only person to whom Remus has ever been romantically linked is him. Remus has never asked a girl out, or kissed one, or even talked about one being hot before, and Sirius used to assume that Remus was just private about that stuff, that he didn't have a strong enough desire to complicate his life with romantic entanglements to want to pursue any. What if, this whole time, the real reason has been that Sirius—?

And yet, the more Sirius looks back on his history with Remus, the more he realizes that Remus's feelings for him—there were signs. There were signs, and Sirius just didn't recognize them for what they were because he didn't even consider the possibility that Remus could be attracted to blokes—to Sirius.

There's the fact, for example, that Remus has never called Sirius his brother, even though Sirius, James, and Peter all say it. There's the embarrassed look Remus used to get in his eyes when Sirius would share his Hospital Wing cot after full moons—the way he seemed abashed but pleased when Sirius touched him in public. And—there's Remus's reaction to Sirius's relationship with Marlene.

He wasn't happy with Sirius when he first found out about Sirius and Marlene having sex—Remus had looked totally betrayed when he walked in on them coming out of that broom closet. He'd claimed to be pissed at Sirius for doing something so illegal that it would risk landing him in Azkaban. Was Remus really upset for the reason he gave? Especially in the beginning, Remus was vocal about his disapproval of Sirius and Marlene's relationship—was he really being as judgmental as Sirius thought he was, or was Remus just—jealous?

That's not to mention the one and only time Sirius and Remus have ever talked about the details of Sirius's sex life. When James asked Sirius what sex is like, the whole conversation was gross and awkward and totally platonic—like a brotherly bonding moment. But when Remus asked, it was awkward for an entirely different reason.

Sirius never really allowed himself to consider what that conversation might have meant—not to Remus and certainly not to himself. He thinks of Remus like a brother, he reminds himself. He didn't overthink it after it happened because it couldn't have meant anything.

Could it?

Marlene, Mary, Peter, and James stay until around dinnertime, when they part ways, promising to come back soon. Sirius and Lily finish off the last of the soup for supper, then set about rearranging the furniture in Sirius's bedroom so that Lily's bed isn't crammed so awkwardly in there.

Afterwards, when Lily is reading and Sirius has just gotten out of the shower, an owl flies up to the window of Sirius's bedroom and starts rapping on it with its beak. "Can you get that, Lily?" calls Sirius from the bathroom, wobbling a little as he hops into his pajama bottoms.

"It's for you," she calls back a minute later. "I'll leave it on your bed."

"Thanks," he says gruffly. He emerges from the bathroom and rounds the corner to find a barn owl hooting at Lily from its perch on Sirius's mattress next to a letter addressed Sirius in Remus's tidy handwriting.

Sirius feels like his stomach is dropping clear down and out of his body. He walks to his bed, throws himself on it, and rips open the letter, hoping, hoping…

Padfoot,

I just wanted to apologize for all the weirdness lately. It's my fault, and I shouldn't have started it.

With Wormtail's birthday coming up in a couple of weeks, I was wondering whether you wanted to come with me to Diagon Alley to pick out gifts for him? Say this Friday afternoon?

—Remus

Breathing a sigh of relief, Sirius scrawls out a quick "yes" on the back of the sheaf of parchment and sends it back with the barn owl. So Remus doesn't want to let this thing destroy their friendship—that's good news, really good. Sirius thinks about this coming Friday, though, and his stomach sinks like a stone. Are they going to have to talk about it? Even if they don't, they're going to have to feel out and establish new boundaries for themselves, and Sirius is rather dreading it.

He spends all day Thursday lost in thought, trying to decide how to act around Remus when he sees him tomorrow. Marlene notices, asks Sirius what's wrong; he kisses her cheeks and assures her that it's nothing, feeling like a cow for doing so. Once everyone leaves, Lily reiterates her offer to talk, but Sirius doesn't take her up on it, lying awake for hours after he hears Lily's breaths drop off into a loud rhythm.

The next day, Sirius Apparates inside the Leaky Cauldron and looks around for Remus, whom he finds skulking in a corner, leaning his back against the wall. They make eye contact, and Remus smiles a little. "Hey, Padfoot."

"Hi." It's the first time they've interacted deliberately, rather than incidentally because of shared company, in over two months. Sirius joins Remus by the back door, where they exit to the alley and tap the bricks of the wall ahead of them with their wands.

"Is it just me," says Remus, "or is this place even more boarded up than it was last year?"

Plenty of storefronts have gone out; wanted posters for Death Eaters cover the walls and windows of the boarded buildings. Sirius nods and swallows thickly. He looks at Remus, one of his best friends in the world, and suddenly Sirius knows he can't deny Remus the same intimacy he gives Peter and James, even if he is afraid of Remus taking it the wrong way. Sirius takes Remus's hand in his and squeezes it, hoping against hope that Remus will know his intentions without him having to state them. Remus looks startled but says nothing, simply laces his fingers between Sirius's and squeezes back.

It's a long three hours before they split apart and go their separate ways.