Previously in the Darklyverse: Mary quit the Order, causing her relationships with the other Gryffindors to splinter. Reg proposed to Mary, while Lily proposed to James. Marlene discovered Mary's true feelings for her after their falling out. Remus and Mary bonded over their sexualities.

xx

August 5th, 1978: Mary Macdonald

It's been six weeks since graduation, and Mary feels like she's been almost totally shut out of the Gryffindor world. Sure, Alice writes every week, and she's gotten lunch with Marlene a couple of times, but she knows that her eight friends from her house and year at Hogwarts are all off discovering new careers and fighting for the Order, and they haven't really looped Mary in on any of it. She doesn't really expect anyone to fill her in on Order stuff—she gets why they have to keep that a secret from anyone not directly involved, why they're not going to make Mary an exception—but it makes her wonder for the millionth time whether she made the right decision bowing out of the organization, because it definitely seems like doing so has cost her all of her closest friendships.

She's settled into something of a routine: go to work, come home to Reg, spend time with Veronica Smethley and Greta Catchlove and the Hufflepuff boys on the weekends. She likes her job—as her first assignment as a magizoologist, she's been tasked with setting up a reservation for Common Welsh Green dragons—and she likes her fiancé, and she likes the Hufflepuffs who fill up most of her social life, but… well, Mary doesn't have any passion for any of them, not like what she felt for the Gryffindors, for Marlene—

—but she's not supposed to think about that, she tells herself firmly. She's marrying Reg, and Marlene is no longer her best friend, and it is what it is; there's no use in whinging on about it.

It's like everyone forgot about Mary. It's like there's no room for her in the lives of her friends who are too busy with more important things to make time for her. It's like they're growing and changing faster than she could hope to keep up because nobody is keeping Mary abreast of their lives, least of all Marlene, no matter how badly Mary wishes she could go back in time and take back all the fights that led them to this time of estrangement.

She's sitting at home with Reg working on their guest list for the wedding when it hits Mary that she's got no idea what to do about the Gryffindors. Marlene should have been the obvious choice of whom to ask to be Mary's maid of honor, but, well—too much has happened since the days Marlene was Mary's best friend. Mary doesn't even know if Marlene would accept the position if Mary offered it. And even if she did, it would probably be unbelievably awkward, giving Marlene the responsibility of delivering a speech in Mary and Reg's honor at the reception. What would Marlene have to say about the woman who used to be her best friend and the man Marlene knows Mary doesn't love?

"What happened between you and her, anyway?" Reg asks, and he's got no idea how deep underwater Mary is in the truth. "You don't ever talk about it."

"She used Lily to replace me," she says, an incomplete truth at best, but it'll do. "I don't have a lot to say about it. It just sucks, you know?"

"If you're that torn up about losing her, just ask her. The worst thing that could happen is that she might say no."

But Mary doesn't think she can stomach one more excruciating moment of trying to fit Marlene into the role Mary wanted her to take. She decides she'll invite Marlene, at least, along with the other seven Gryffindors from their year, but the maid of honor spot goes to Ver, whom Mary asks the next day at a small gathering of mostly Hufflepuffs at Ver and Greta's new flat.

It's sort of indecent how jealous Mary is of Ver and Greta moving in together. The Gryffindors have been similarly grouping up—Lily and Sirius are still together; Alice tells Mary that she's gotten a place with Remus and James; Emmeline and Peter found themselves a flat, surprising no one; and Marlene has moved in full-time with her father, Doc, for the first time since the summer before sixth year when she stayed there with Lily—and instead of living it up with her friends, Mary has found a sensible one-bedroom flat with her fiancé, who is sweet and loving but not… well, Reg was destined never to be enough for her, wasn't he? She supposes she ought to be happy, to be grateful, that she has someone as kind as him at the apex of her life, but all she can do is envy everyone who has the strong friendships that Mary herself apparently doesn't have anymore.

"I'd love to be!" Ver squeals now, roping Mary into a tight one-armed hug, and Mary feels herself smiling a little despite her better judgment. "Oh, I can't wait to organize your wedding shower. Just you wait. You won't regret this. God, Mare, you're so lucky. Reg is such a good bloke."

They both look over to him at the other end of Ver's living room, where he's deep in conversation with Amos Diggory and Davy Gudgeon. He's mopping at his forehead, which is sweaty in the moist August heat, with a handkerchief as he nods emphatically at something Amos said. "He really is," says Mary, hating herself.

"Wait a minute, what about hen night? Who am I inviting? There's Greta, obviously, but everyone else from our year in Hufflepuff was a bloke, and we can't have that." Neither of them points out the obvious: Elisabeth Clearwater was a Hufflepuff from their year, too. "I'm guessing you want the Gryffindor girls there, too? McKinnon and Evans and Abbott and Vance?"

"I… don't know. A nice night out with you and Greta sounds appealing, honestly."

Ver raises an eyebrow. "Something going on there that you want to tell me about?"

"Can we not? Please? I just want to think about something else—anything else."

"Suit yourself," says Ver, shrugging, and then she clasps Greta's shoulder with a grin as her flatmate approaches them.

Mary smiles at Greta but eventually wanders off to refill her butterbeer at the small kitchen countertop Ver has set up with refreshments. When she reaches it, Gilderoy is there, popping a chicken wing into his mouth. He grins at her (Mary avoids looking at his mouth) and says, "Mary, darling! Come up here!"

"Hey, Gilderoy," says Mary, laughing a little as he gives her a big hug hello. "How's it going? I haven't seen you since—graduation, probably."

"Oh, it's going. How's adult life treating you? You've taken up work as a wizarding naturalist already, isn't that right?"

"Yeah, I'm working on building a dragon reservation, basically. It's pretty cool! So far I've mostly been collecting and planting seeds of Flutterbys and other food sources for them—we haven't gotten to the actual dragon wrangling yet. What about you, have you gotten a job yet?"

Gilderoy shakes his head. "No, but let's not speak of it. Tell me about the wedding! Are you excited?"

"Oh, yes. I've been planning my wedding since I was a little kid, you know. It's just hard because—well, I don't know yet if I'll be inviting Marlene and our Gryffindor friends."

Nodding, he says, "Well, everyone here will be coming, won't we? You just focus on those of us who are still here for you, my dear."

"Thanks, man. Honestly, I don't know why the Sorting Hat almost put you in Slytherin. You're always there for me."

They both know the reason Gilderoy is in Hufflepuff: he's Muggle-born, and the Hat gave him the option of choosing another House to avoid being isolated with a bunch of purists. Gilderoy may be a bit much—terribly self-assured and willing to cheat his way through school, back when they were still students—but Mary would be hard pressed to name another friend as loyal to her as Gilderoy has been.

Certainly, none of Mary's fellow Gryffindors could make that claim.

She wonders why she hasn't felt comfortable confiding in Gilderoy about her problems with Marlene and her old housemates, but then, isn't it obvious? She can't talk about being in love with Marlene, and she can't talk about them all being in the Order, and without the context of those two things, she can't really be open about what's going on between her and them. She doesn't belong with the Gryffindors anymore, but she's entrenched herself enough in their lives that she doesn't belong with the Hufflepuffs, either, now that the Gryffindors are gone and Mary needs—somebody. Something. Anything.

Reg sort of gets at the crux of it that night after they head back home, having successfully secured Mary's maid of honor and Reg's best man (Gilderoy). "Mary, are you happy?" he asks her as they're sitting in bed together, Reg poking at a job application and Mary reading one of her romances.

"What? Of course I am. Don't be silly, honey."

"You just seem… off the last few months. Ever since you and McKinnon had that fight, you've been… I don't know. There's a spark that's gone, or something."

"Reg, I don't… none of this is your fault. You know that, right?"

"What? This isn't about me; it's about you. I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"I know, and I appreciate that, but—Marlene's just busy with her life. All my mates are just busy with their lives."

"But what can they be busy with? Most of them haven't found work yet. It's like they're hiding things, and I don't want that for you."

Bless Reg's heart—what he doesn't realize is that Mary knows exactly what the Gryffindors are up to, but it's something that none of them, Mary included, want Reg to know. "It's all right, Reg. You're the one I'm marrying, not any of them, and you and I are good, aren't we?"

Reg leans in and rubs his nose against Mary's for a moment. "Yeah. Yeah, we're good. I just want you to have people and be happy, that's all."

"I'm happy with you," says Mary. "I'm happy."

Maybe if she repeats it enough, she'll start to believe it.

xx

On Wednesday, the save-the-date for Lily and James's wedding arrives. They're planning on a date that's a few months after Mary and Reg's own wedding, and it makes Mary feel anxious, like she's eons behind where she ought to be in the planning, since she and Reg only just finalized their guest list and certainly haven't sent out save-the-dates. Everything about Lily's wedding feels like it's in competition with Mary's, making her feel like her own wedding is going to be too rushed with too many important people absent. In a perfect world, wedding planning would be something that Mary could share with Lily—they'd work on the preparations together, maybe, and would attend each other's hen nights and showers before their big days. Marlene would be Mary's maid of honor, not Lily's. But that's not the world Mary lives in, and she best forget about the way things ought to be before it breaks her.

At least work is going well. Plant-hunting has taken Mary and her new supervisor to the shores of Wales, where they're collecting a few rare species of flora that are integral to the Common Welsh Greens' diets. It's a relief to be done with exams, with spellwork that Mary doesn't care about and certainly doesn't understand, and just be working with the animals and plants that give Mary so much peace.

It comes as a shock when she arrives home from work the next day to find Remus Lupin sitting in her living room, covered in soot and looking embarrassed. "Hi, Mare," he says when Mary Apparates into the room, and she startles and jumps and turns around to look him in the eye. "Sorry to just barge in like this. I just Flooed in a few minutes ago—Cattermole and I were just catching up."

Reg strides over to her and gives her a peck on the lips. "I'll give you two some space. Mare, I'll be at the store—we're out of strawberries and things."

He Disapparates, and then it's just Mary and Remus, her standing rooted to the spot and him still shedding ash on her sofa. "Can I just give you a hug?" Remus says finally, and when Mary nods, he gets up and holds her tightly in his arms.

Nearly seven weeks, and this is the first she's heard from Remus—let alone the stark silence she's gotten from most of their mates. She returns the hug, but only halfheartedly. "What are you doing here?" she says. It occurs to her after she's said it that it could be construed rudely, but honestly, she doesn't really care.

"It's been way too long since I've seen you. I know it has been," says Remus apologetically. "I should have come round earlier, but—I'm here now. I got your address from Marlene; I hope that's okay."

"How is she doing? Marlene?"

"She's… I think she misses you," Remus admits, and Mary feels her heart flutter a little. "I know you've seen her a little, and I don't think she feels good about how strained things are when you two do get together."

"They wouldn't be strained if she hadn't abandoned me for Lily," says Mary bitterly.

"Hey, now, that's not entirely fair. You told her you were in love with her—that caused tension, too."

"Because it matters what you think, doesn't it? Like it's any of your business? Like you have any idea what's going on in my head or in my relationships?"

"Mary—"

"Six weeks! Nearly seven!" says Mary. She's aware that her voice is verging on hysteria, and she doesn't really give a shit. "Six weeks with nothing but a few letters from Alice and a couple of painful lunch dates where Marlene reminds me how thoroughly she's excised me from the rest of her life, and where have you been, huh? What happened to our big gay bond? What happened to being as good as family?"

Remus implores her, "We're still family. We are. At least—if you want me in your family, I'm here."

She stands there staring at him for a few long moments, appraising him, wondering whether she does still want Remus in her family after feeling so neglected for so long—not even just the last six weeks, but the year-plus that it's been since she left the Order. "All right, then," she says finally, and she takes a seat on the couch.

Hesitantly, Remus sits down next to her, looking as if he's half expecting her to start shouting again. "I really have been thinking about you," he says after a pause. "I know I should have come sooner. Owled. Something. It's just easy to get sucked into… you know, Order stuff."

"Are you doing it full-time?" Mary asks.

"Yeah, I don't—I haven't been able to find paying work yet. Anti-werewolf legislation, you know."

"I'm sorry," says Mary, and she means it. "The Ministry is full of shit. I hope you get something soon. You're smart; people should treat you like you're valuable."

"I'm glad the conservationists are treating you like you're valuable," says Remus. Huh: it seems like Remus, at least, has been asking Alice and Marlene about Mary. "At least one of us gets the thing, right?"

She immediately remembers telling Remus the same thing about their big gay crushes, about Remus getting to be with Sirius even though Mary couldn't have Marlene, and she has to fight down her reaction. She doesn't want to say that Remus gets the better deal, because she knows that being a werewolf has set Remus up to live an impoverished and lonely life, but if given a choice between her dream job and a relationship with Marlene, Mary would choose Marlene every time.