Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Chapter Three

On the way back to their home Scarlett happily said to India, "The fund raiser this Saturday will be so much fun. Do you know if they are going to have dancing? I so loved to dance."

India looked at Scarlett with a puzzled look on her face and said, "Scarlett, you know we are not attending the fund raiser. We can't afford to attend."

Scarlett blushed. She had known what Ashley's salary was, of course. She made out his paycheck, but she had never really thought about it not being enough to cover the Wilkes' living expenses. In truth she didn't know how much money it took to run a household. Frank had taken care of the bills and then Rhett had paid all the bills.

Scarlett was embarrassed that she had taken Rhett's generosity for granted. It wasn't true what he had said about her not caring what he did as long as the bills were paid. Well, maybe there was some truth to it. In truth she had never expected Rhett to be faithful to her but what had annoyed her was how blatant he had been about it. Of course, he had been blatant to hurt her.

Scarlett was embarrassed and ashamed that Ashley made so little money when she a woman had been able to make her mill such a success. She quickly chastised herself for those thoughts, but she had never liked being chastised even if it was by herself. The resentment was beginning to grow.

As soon as Scarlett was alone in her room, she called for Genie. When Genie appeared Scarlett said, "Why doesn't India hate me anymore?"

"Because you are married to her brother what you always wanted and now you are miserable. It has made her second guess her feelings about Stuart Tarleton."

"I'm not miserable. How can I be miserable I am married to the love of my life? How long has Ashley been working at the sawmill?"

"Since January of sixty-six after you lost Tara."

"We lost Tara."

"Yes, you got Frank and Suellen married hoping she would save Tara. Suellen chose to build a house instead of saving Tara. Frank was able to buy the sawmill when Rhett offered to loan him the money to buy it. Rhett made Frank give Ashley a job."

"That doesn't sound like Rhett. That can't be right. Rhett would never do anything to help Ashley."

Genie chose not to argue with Scarlett instead she said, "Your sister ended up selling her house because she couldn't afford to maintain it. She and her daughter, Ellen, live behind the store."

"Where is Careen?"

"Living with Suellen"

"Will Benteen?"

"He went back to south Georgia and resumed eking out a living."

"Is he married?"

"Yes, and he is fairly happy."

"Do Suellen and I speak?"

"Yes, but you all are rarely polite. You and Careen are much more cordial."

"Thank you, Genie."

Scarlett walked out of her bedroom and went to the swoon bottle. Scarlett poured herself a large glass of brandy and sat down on the couch. She drank it down in three gulps. She poured herself another drink. It made her think of how after Frank's funeral she had been drunk when Rhett proposed. Thinking of Rhett made her sad like she was missing someone especially important to her. Of course, she was missing Rhett. He was her friend. Well, he had once been her friend. She didn't know what he was now. She wondered again why he had given Ashley a job and what was in it for Rhett. Rhett never did anything without expecting something out of it.

She wished she was smarter. No, she wished she could understand what people were saying. She often felt like people were trying to tell her something particularly important, but she didn't know what they were trying to say no matter how hard she tried. She often was surprised by people's actions. She guessed that was because she never paid attention to other people.

When this week was over, she would get Genie to give her the gift of insight. That was what the problem was. She was not insightful enough to understand what Ashley was trying to tell her.

When Ashley got home and found out she had been drinking brandy, he didn't speak to her the rest of the evening. When they got in the bed, Ashley said, "Dear, I know you are half Irish but none the less you don't need to drink. In fact, I will not tolerate you drinking. You will never drink again."

"Yes, Ashley."

"Melanie would never have done something like that."

Scarlett was already annoyed that she was always being compared to Melanie. Furthermore, it was obvious that she was always coming up lacking. It made her think of Rhett comparing her to that old whore, Belle, and she had come up lacking. The thoughts and the comparison made her incredibly sad. Scarlett said, "I have to go to the privy."

Once in the privy Scarlett cried her eyes out. Being married to Ashley was not as wonderful as she had always thought it would be.

That night Scarlett had her nightmare. Ashley woke her up because she was screaming. Scarlett put her arms around him. She started telling him how horrible it was. He interrupted her to say, "I know. You have told me about your nightmare many times. You need to accept our new reality and that being cold and hungry are just part of our lives now."

Scarlett was shocked by his words. She said, "No, Ashley, we must keep struggling. We must keep trying to succeed. If you would work harder than we would be doing better."

"Are you criticizing me? How dare you? Melanie…."

Scarlett said sharply, "I know. Melanie would never do anything like that."

"She wouldn't have. Go back to sleep."

Scarlett didn't go back to sleep right away. She laid there and fumed for the next hour.

Friday night at nine o'clock, Ashley rose to retire for the day, he said, "Scarlett, let's retire."

"I'm not ready to retire."

"Scarlett, you know that I insist that you retire at the same time I do. Come along."

"No. I'm not ready to retire."

"Scarlett do not back talk me. Come along."

Scarlett went along but she wasn't happy about it. Ashley was not treating her as his beloved wife. He was treating her the way she had seen so many husbands treat their wives. Badly.

On Saturday, Scarlett took the children to the park and Wade and Beau were running ahead of the baby buggy. She smiled as she watched them, they were such happy boys. She smiled when she thought, 'Neither one of them is scared of me. I must have a lot more patience in this lifetime. Of course, I do. I don't have a slew of people depending on me. Making ends meet is Ashley's responsibility. The thought popped into her head unbidden 'Even if he isn't doing a particularly decent job at making ends meet.' She blushed with the thought and felt disloyal but then she thought, 'Well, it is true nonetheless.'

She pondered for a minute when was the last time she had taken her children to the park. Never. She, in fact, didn't even go with them when Rhett took the children because she had always been too busy making money, having fun, and chasing Ashley.

She went around the bend and there he was. Her husband. No, Rhett. He was no longer her husband. Ashley, wonderful Ashley was her husband now. Although Ashley wasn't acting so wonderful anymore. As Rhett turned and saw her there was nothing but contempt on his face.

Scarlett was surprised at how much that look hurt, but she wouldn't cry now. She was even more surprised when he turned and walked toward her.

"Mrs. Wilkes."

"Rhett."

"I don't believe we are on a first name bases anymore. Not since you married that useless coward."

"Alright, Mr. Butler. Good day. I am not going to stand around and let you insult my husband."

Scarlett felt a wave of guilt over the fact that she had let Ashley insult Rhett and had even reveled in it. Even though Rhett had not insulted her to the matrons he had let them belief awful things about her. He had not defended her in his return to respectability. They really had not been truly kind to each other.

Scarlett pushed the baby buggy away which contained her eight-month-old daughter. She smiled at the little girl. The little girl smiled back.

Scarlett heard Rhett's voice. He said, "Mrs. Wilkes, are you and your husband going to attend the fund raiser tonight?"

"No, Mr. Butler."

"Why not?"

Scarlett sighed. She would give him what he wanted. Her humiliation but she was going to save face as much as possible. She turned and smiled as she said, "We have other plans."

They both knew that Scarlett was lying but Rhett let her get away with it. He had gotten what he wanted. For her to acknowledge that her useless husband was pathetic. He had felt momentary joy at her pain, but he had quickly felt sorrow that he had caused her that pain.

A wiser man would have left Atlanta when he found out that Scarlett had married Ashley Wilkes, but he could not. Until she was dead, or he was he was not giving up hope.

Scarlett brought him back to the conversation by asking, "Are you planning on attending the event?"

Rhett laughed. He said, "I cannot imagine anything more boring than attending a proper society event. Furthermore, you know they would not let me in the door."

Scarlett had flashed him a smile when she said, "Even with all your money to donate to the fundraiser."

Rhett had unknowingly smiled back and said, "Not even then. I think they would rather admit freeman to the event than me."

"Probably. Nice talking to you Mr. Butler."

Rhett watched Scarlett push the baby buggy away. He smiled when he saw the little girl stare at him as her mother was pushing her away. The child certainly looked like her father.

Saturday night when most of the gentry was at the fund raiser, Scarlett, Ashley, India, and PittyPat were sitting at their home. Everyone but Scarlett was reading a book. She was just staring off into space. She was wondering how Ashley and Melanie had always been able to attend the fund raisers. Then she knew the matrons had given Melly the tickets. Because everyone loved Melly, they had found a way to covertly give Melanie the tickets. Scarlett smiled sadly, she thought, 'Melanie really had been such a kind person.

Scarlett sighed and nobody paid her the least little bit of attention. She was miserable. It must be because she didn't understand Ashley.

As they got into bed, Scarlett said, "I love you."

"Scarlett, please, don't embarrass yourself by continually telling me that. You know I loved Melanie and I will never love anyone else."

"You loved Melanie?"

"I have told you this before. Why are you acting so surprised?"

"Why did you tell me you loved me in the library at Twelve Oaks?"

"I have told you before. I was trying to let you down gently."

"You told me you loved me in the Orchard."

Ashley blushed and said, "I have told you this before also. To my shame that was my libido talking. I wanted you so much in that moment."

Scarlett blushed. Ashley had wanted her the same way Rhett had wanted her. Like she was a whore. Scarlett got out of bed and said, "I have to go to the privy."

Once in the privy, Scarlett cried her eyes out. She cried for a long time. Genie came to her and patted her shoulder and said, "There, there. It will be alright."

After she had stopped crying Scarlett said to Genie, "If I can be more like Melly then Ashley will grow to love me then everything will be perfect."

"Mistress, that isn't…"

"Yes, Genie, that is all I have to do. Be more like Melly."

As Scarlett left the privy Genie had sighed. She wished she could have told her mistress that wasn't true, but she knew her mistress was not listen to Genie's counsel at that moment.

When Scarlett returned to their bedroom, Ashley was already asleep. She crawled into bed and pressed herself up against Ashley until he rolled over. She didn't follow him. She rolled over the other way and curled herself up in a ball.