Tim didn't know how long he'd been wrapped up in Lucy Chen's arms.

Time and all its unyielding structure somehow seemed to come to a complete standstill, quieting the space surrounding them. All that was left was a comfort Tim hadn't felt in years, if ever.

He could no longer keep his crumbling walls standing. Since day one, Lucy had been chipping away at them slowly and steadily, as if she had an ice pick. Today, she appeared to have a sledgehammer.

Or maybe he was the one with the sledgehammer. Maybe he was tired of always having to be strong, always having to shove the pain his dad had caused so far down. So he allowed himself to crumble for once. And of all the people to see it happen, it was Lucy, his ex-rookie, current aide, and maybe one of the most important people in his life.

You're nothing like him.

Her arms continued to blanket him. Tim could feel her hands gently rubbing his back, her coconut scent enveloping him as he let himself breathe deeply. His face was pressed tightly against hers as his tears dripped down.

You're nothing like him.

He hated that he even had to worry that he was turning into his dad. The thought had come to the forefront many times over the years. He knew how his anger could flare up. Unfortunately, Lucy had caught some of his worst moments in her early days of training, which he wasn't proud of. He knew what kind of reputation he had as a TO, but he was good at his job and people seemed to respect him for it. But that nagging worry of morphing into his dad, of having the propensity to repeat his father's actions…it was always there.

Lucy uttering "a Tim test" in the shop the other day had sliced him to the core, unleashing his greatest fear all over again. The idea that Lucy could even consider that he was like Tom Bradford in the slightest, well, it killed him.

You're nothing like him.

Just like these words now were stitching him back up. There may have been no one better to make that assessment than the one with whom he'd spent the most time over the past year and a half. Lucy had seen it all and had still decided to always show up, always have his back. She'd become his greatest source of support, and he was realizing it actually meant the world to him.

When he felt like his breaths had steadied, he slowly started to untangle himself from Lucy, letting his fingers run down the length of her arms, soaking up every last ounce of contact. They continued to remain rooted in their places, keeping the distance between them minimal.

Lucy reached up collect one lone last tear from his cheek onto the pad of her thumb, her finger slowly gliding down his face, all the while her own eyes glistening, her face pinched with pain.

"I'm so sorry for what I said about the Tim Tests," she said shakily, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was just processing everything you and Genny had said and it slipped out. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to try to connect the dots and understand you even better, what makes you Tim. Everything your dad did to you…that's not you at all. You rose above that and chose to be better. And you succeeded, Tim, because you're the best man I know."

"Lucy…." he trailed off, his voice becoming too thick to speak.

Her lip trembled as she continued. "You've had to endure so much, and you didn't deserve that. You deserved a happy childhood, where you could feel safe and loved. I hate that you couldn't have that."

Swallowing, Tim attempted to respond, "My mom tried, but my dad overpowered all of us. He was just this giant shadow over everything good we tried to create in our family. My mom tried to make birthdays and holidays special, and show up to our games, but it wasn't enough to undo what Dad did."

He paused, "She would have loved you."

He had no idea why he'd said it, but he knew it was true.

"Well, if she's the reason you turned out so well, then I'm sure it would be mutual."

He looked away, gripped by every word she spoke tonight. Her words always had an effect on him. They had the power to change his course, make him look at something with a new perspective, or as was the case tonight, heal broken places inside of him like a balm.

"Thank you, Lucy, for everything. For being here, for being…you."

The grin Lucy gave him in response nearly knocked him off his feet. "You're welcome. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

"Sure you would. Who would voluntarily want to be in a hospice while their partner deals with his estranged, abusive father?"

"Someone who cares, Tim."

And that right there was why he had felt the need to follow through asking if she'd come help at his Dad's house after Genny had suggested it when they'd gone to dinner. It made the most sense to have Lucy be the one by his side during this whole ordeal because she was always by his side. He knew she cared. This whole thing with Ashley was too new and casual, and he hadn't wanted to inflict his childhood trauma onto her yet. But he knew Lucy could handle it, and if he was honest with himself, he'd wanted her there, plain and simple.

"Also, you did good, trusting your instincts about Mrs. Ochoa."

"Thanks," Lucy said, pausing as a smirk grew on her face. "I guess that means sometimes it pays not to listen to you."

An unexpected laugh burst out of Tim, a genuine one, one that was most welcome in the midst of his turmoil. "Sure, keep telling yourself that and see what happens. You ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah. Do you feel like eating?"

"What, are you buying?"

She chuckled. "I'd say after today, you could definitely use a free meal unless you have plans with Ashley."

"Ashley is…I don't think she's going to make the cut."

He didn't want to figure that out tonight. He'd come to the conclusion his heart wasn't in it, and it would probably be best if he ended things before any of it became serious. But right now, all he wanted was to go get food with Lucy, staying in her orbit of comfort as she linked her arm in his.

Thank you for reading! I really just wanted to give Lucy a platform to explain herself better after the 4x08 debacle, and this was the result.

I hope I made it very clear that there is no whiff of cheating at the end of the story. Tim and Lucy aren't going on a date or anything, just hanging out getting a bite to eat. I just want to make sure that comes across given the subject matter of 4x09.

Title is taken from Drive by The Cars. You can find me fangirling on Tumblr at theawkwardanglophile!