Chapter 13

Severus' scream was something inhuman. To say he was angry or even livid would not describe the emotion he felt. He tried to follow the wands trace, but after the sixth near miss he was weakened and wanted to go home to Hermione.

Hermione met him at the door. "Where have you been? It's been hours! I've been worried."

Severus didn't have the energy to smile in greeting, and practically collapsed on the stairs in her arms. "Severus. What's happened? Where's Ginny?"

Hermione had him in her arms holding his head on her shoulder. She stroked his hair as tears fell on his cheek. He looked up at her in hopelessness. "I love you Hermione. Please believe me. I would never hurt you."

She cooed at him gently. "I know love. I know. Don't be afraid. We'll figure this out."

Severus passed out and knew no more. Though he had terrible dreams of Voldemort torturing him for his betrayal, and then Hermione, on one of those posts in His room. Of a Hermione in tears leaving him, rejecting him, laughing at him. He awoke with a start, and his head was pounding. The bed was wet with sweat and his throat was parched. There was a glass of water on the nightstand. He grabbed it and drank. It immediately made him nauseous, and his heart was racing a mile. Despite having slept he was tired and wrung out. Severus pulled Hermione's pillow to him and inhaled. It calmed him instantly.

Through his haze he could hear voices. A man and a woman, Hermione. Who was she talking to? He listened with his spy developed ears. She was talking about him. Something about him being irrational and evil. Did she think he was evil? What had he done? Had Ginevra followed through on her threat? Did she tell Hermione that he had tried to… Oh No. He had to defend himself or lose her.

Severus staggered out of bed, he was still clothed. He had a bit of vertigo looking down the steps to the office. Shaking like cruciatus he clung to the wall and made it down in one piece. Hermione and Ginevra stood in the room, but where was the man? Severus had heard a man talking. "Who are you talking to? Where is he? What did you say about me Ginevra? It's not true Hermione! I wouldn't do that! Please. It's not true! It's not true!"

"Oh, but I'm afraid it is Severus."

He knew that voice. It crawled up his spine and began to gnaw at his brain. Dumbledore. "You sorry excuse for a wizard. Who found you? I thought I had locked that closet. Come to pick apart my mistakes and gloat again or do you have a new game? Trying to deny my one chance at happiness after you destroyed my life?"

"Severus stop! I had a house elf find him. Before you ask, Ginny told me what happened at the memorial. All of it."

Severus clutched the back of the office chair as he tried not to vomit. He began shaking and was as pale as a sheet. When he spoke, it was like a little boy trying to gain forgiveness for something terrible. "No Hermione. Please. I don't remember it like that. I could never treat her that way. You know me. After all we've been through…" He began to sob and turned, landing hard against the cold stone wall, hiding his face. He was sure she would leave him now.

Hermione came to him and wrapped her arms around his waist laying her cheek on his back. "It's alright Severus. I believe you love. That's why I had to find Professor Dumbledore. He had the wand for so long. If anyone knew what was happening it would be him. Now sit down and listen." Hermione shepherded him to the chair, and he sat.

"Severus my dear boy. You're suffering withdrawal symptoms. I know them well. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I never expected you to have to deal with it. It's why I didn't give it to Harry. When I first took it from Grindelwald forty years ago, it was… No, I must go further back. Gellert stole the wand when he was very young. We were the best of friends… and lovers. We were so happy. Planning our lives together, and all our big dreams. One day he showed me the wand and said he'd stolen it, but it was his now. On that day our relationship changed. He became more extreme every day. He became cruel, selfish, brutal. It finally came to blows and I won the wand from him. Shortly thereafter I noticed it starting to have a profound effect on me. I researched it's past to find that every owner that had it, had been drenched in blood. Either theirs or someone else's. I felt it was too valuable to try to destroy, but the more I used it, the stronger the effect. I found I could use it in short bursts when it was dire need, and stave off the effects if I didn't touch it again for a certain amount of time, depending on what I had done. The problem was, I had only myself to regulate the changes. I didn't see it corrupting me. Toward the end when I was so desperate to stop Voldemort, I used it more than I should have. I too became cruel, selfish and brutal. I took out my frustrations on you Severus. Sending you to Him for information because... Not caring about the consequences. Now that I am completely free of its effects, I can see all that I had done. It is the horrible judgement of history Severus, that I will be literally, forever, regretting what I've done. I am fortunate that I can beg your forgiveness, even if you don't grant it. There are many in their graves I cannot. And you Hermione. You and Harry and Ron suffered through cold and hunger, pain and death because of me. Mere children given such a task without guidance. My fault. My fault. I'm so sorry." Albus got up from his painted chair and walked out of the picture, overcome with guilt and regret.

The three of them sat there staring at an empty frame. His story so sad and repentant. Yet there was hope in it. Severus was changed by it. "Ginevra where have you hidden the wand?"

"I'm not going to tell you Snape."

"I don't want it back. The other two deathly hallows are destroyed. This one should be as well. I know from experience it's corrupting and addictive influence. It is not safe to have in this world. I'm sorry Hermione. I wanted to use it to rebuild Hogwarts, to heal the sick and injured. Such power could do so much good, but now I know the price, it can also destroy anyone it touches. Do you remember Ginevra the day Hermione told us of her plan to kill Voldemort? You said, just drop him in a volcano. I think that's what we need to do now. It needs to go where it can never be summoned or used again, but as it's immortal we do not have the power to destroy it. Give it to the molten earth to swallow. No one can retrieve it from there."

Ginny grinned. "I have a fast broom and know how to handle a quaffle. Leave it to me." Ginny had a tingle go up her spine. She had said the same thing about Bella in this very room. She smiled thinking how well that turned out.

"Be careful not to touch it Ginny. Put it in a box, something heavy. Do not underestimate it. It will fight you and make you do things, and you not even know it. Remember, it's dangerous." Hermione was worried about her friend.

"I'll be careful Herms. As a member of the golden trio I can get a port key to the pacific no problem. I'll dispose of it tomorrow."

Hermione hadn't heard that phrase in a while, and it usually didn't apply to Ginny. "What do you mean the Golden Trio."

Ginny laughed. "You two don't get out much. The papers have been calling you, me and Snape the new golden trio."

Severus looked as if he'd just eaten lemons, and Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh Merlin, not again."