Disclaimer: This a Stephanie Plum FanFiction Story. All recognizable characters belong to the fabulous Janet Evanovich. I am just borrowing her amazing characters for a while. I'm grateful she allows us to play with her characters.
Warning: Adult language
Summary: A misunderstanding leads to a heated encounter between Ranger and Stephanie that changes the landscape of their relationship. A one-shot in response to the Janet Evanovich Fan Fiction Facebook group April writing challenge. Dialogue: Someday you'll thank me for kidnapping you.
Impromptu dialogue: Imagine getting into a heated argument with your favorite character. You raise your arm to slap them and they catch your wrist. They back you up against the wall and lean down to your ear. In a low husky voice, they whisper, "Wanna try that again, sweetheart."
White Rabbit
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A/N: This one is dedicated to Mama Bear. You're the best.
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Rage, pain, and regret boiled through Ranger as he took another swing at the bag, he had been pounding the ever-loving shit out of for the last hour. An hour or ten, it wouldn't matter. It wasn't going to solve his problem or improve his mood. The guys had long ago scattered like rats off a sinking ship, no doubt afraid they'd get called on the mats and replace the punching bag as the target of his aggression. Ranger was alone with his thoughts. A dangerous place to be.
A few more useless punches and his chest heaved with exertion. This wasn't going to cut it. What Ranger needed was to forget. A lot of whiskey and the company of a soft, willing woman would do the trick. Preferably one that didn't want to do all that touchy feely stuff and talk. Ranger punched the bag one more time for emphasis.
The company of a woman was something he had been missing for a while. Sure, there had been opportunities, offers even, but no interest on his part. Too stuck in his own head and this limbo of his own making to take a step forward or a step back. All that had changed, and he needed to get his head and his heart around that inconvenient fact. Ranger wasn't in limbo anymore. He had been kicked to the curb.
The doors to the gym swung open and Les strolled in. The only one brave enough or stupid enough to confront him. Ranger pulled off his gloves and chugged half a bottle of water and waited.
"What are you doing, man?" Les tackled the elephant in the room head-on, setting Ranger's teeth on edge.
"Getting ready to leave." Ranger replied, clamping down on his runaway temper.
The muscle in Les' jaw ticked, betraying his irritation. "I saw Belichick here."
Ranger's shoulder tilted up in an insolent shrug. "Yeah."
"Are you re-upping with that prick?" Les gritted out between his clenched teeth.
"Don't know."
Ranger knew he was being childish and evasive. Les and the team deserved an answer. If he re-upped with Belichick, it affected all of RangeMan. He would be gone for months at a time, with little to no communication, and the day-to-day operations would fall to Les and Tank.
Les ran an agitated hand through his hair, leaving a disheveled spikey mess in his wake. "Don't do something stupid, just because you have your dick in a twist over a woman."
It was far too late for that advice, but Ranger kept that little gem of wisdom to himself and just crossed his arms and glared at his idiot cousin.
"Before you go off and commit two more years of your life, you need to at least talk to her."
Heat flashed over Ranger so fast, the angry words were out of his mouth before he even realized he was saying them.
"And what am I supposed to say? Congratsafuckinglations? I'm happy for you?" Ranger spat, the words leaving a bitter, defeated taste in his mouth.
Les held up his hands in surrender. "I don't know. Just talk to her or this thing is going to eat you alive."
"There's nothing to say." Ranger snapped and pushed past Les.
"Where are you going?"
"Out."
Les rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can see that. Where?" He demanded.
Ranger ignored him and stalked towards the door, intent on getting on with his evening of fucking, drinking, and forgetting.
Les caught up to him at the elevator. "Are you going to see Belichick?"
"No," Ranger heaved out an exasperated breath.
"When do you owe him an answer?"
"Tomorrow."
"So where are you going?" Les prodded.
"Oasis Lounge."
Les' eyebrows shot up on his forehead. "The hook-up bar in the hotel? Why?"
Ranger stopped and faced Les. "To get drunk and laid. Preferably in that order."
With that, Ranger stalked into the elevator. Les nodded, his brows furrowed, and he studied Ranger.
"If you're going to get hammered, at least let me drop you off."
Ranger gave an almost imperceptible nod as the elevator doors closed with a finality that mirrored this chapter of his life. Tomorrow he was starting a new one, far away from Trenton.
Stephanie stared at the matted fake fur crumpled in a pathetic pile on the concrete floor. At one time, the fur had been white, but now it was interspersed with shades of beige and yellow. An involuntary shudder rippled through her body, and she tried not to consider what had made those stains or her sympathetic gag reflex would kick in, and there would be a few more stains to contend with. If she had a lick of common sense, she would run screaming from the building and forget this bad idea before it got legs.
"How much does it pay?" She asked cautiously, as she kept a wary eye on the pile of matted fur, making sure none of it was attached to a live creature.
"Minimum wage," Frank Bellucci replied.
His nasally voice grated on her nerves, but she forced herself to smile. She figured her smile had a tinge of insanity to it, but Frank didn't notice. He was too busy staring at her tits.
Stephanie bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep from telling him where to go and how to get there. She needed the job. To say she had been down on her luck lately might be a bit of an understatement. Her latest POS car had been totaled when she took out a fire hydrant and a bench at the city park during the transport of a skip that had gone wrong.
Fortunately, no one had been sitting on the bench, or things could be a lot worse. As it was, some newbie cop at the Trenton PD had issued her a massive fine for reckless driving, and she had been arrested for the destruction of city property. They had dropped the charges as part of a deferred prosecution plea deal. All Stephanie had to do was pay restitution. With no money, that was turning out to be harder than expected. If she failed to make the payments, she would be prosecuted, so here she was contemplating putting on a fake rabbit suit and letting Frank Bellucci stare at her tits.
Vinnie, her piece of crap cousin, refused to loan her the money. Her mother saw it as leverage to force Stephanie into a real job. She would loan her the money if Stephanie stopped being a bounty hunter. Morelli wasn't an option for a lot of reasons, and Ranger, well, he had dropped off the face of the earth.
As she contemplated wearing a rabbit suit, she wished she had run away from home when she was five and found a new family. That kind of foresight, even as a five-year-old, would have served her well. Her grandma was up to her usual hijinks, her mother was on her last nerve, and her sister, well, she didn't even want to think about that, and for some reason Ranger was busy cutting her out of his life. Of all the things that had happened, that was the one that stung the most.
Ranger was her friend, or at least she thought he was, but when her life had fallen apart in spectacular fashion, he had taken to ducking her calls, avoiding the bonds office, and skipping the late-night trips to her apartment to talk and have a beer. She missed him.
Stephanie would be the first to admit their relationship was unconventional, strained even, on occasion. Mostly because he wanted no-strings sex, and she just wanted him. That had made for some awkward morning after moments, but Stephanie had learned to bottle up her feelings, and they had settled into an easy routine when it came to everything outside of the bedroom. Or the Porsche, his office, a closet, a hotel, the kitchen counter, Hawaii. She jerked her thoughts away from a trip down memory lane. Theirs was a simple relationship outside of sex, anyway. Wherever sex happened. A delicious shiver danced down her spine; Ranger could get very creative.
The sex itself, well, that was just fire, toe-curling magic, and pure yum, and every once in a while, it was worth the heartbreak that always followed. They would pull apart for a while, but like magnets, they would be drawn towards each other until they snapped back together with unexpected force.
Ranger was the one person she could count on and now he was just missing in action, and she didn't even know why. Maybe he'd moved on or just gotten bored. A sharp, stabbing pain in her chest made her catch her breath. She hoped it was just a heart attack, because that was better than the alternative.
"Thirteen dollars an hour," Stephanie turned her attention back to Frank.
"Well, no," he wheedled.
"Thirteen dollars is minimum wage."
"Four dollars an hour goes towards the rental of the rabbit suit." Frank shot her a sheepish smile.
Stephanie held up her hand. "You mean I pay you for the privilege of wearing the rabbit suit advertising your Easter shoe sale?"
"Yes, but you get to keep any tips." Frank told her in a haughty that made her eyes narrow, and she pushed down the rhino that threatened to trample him. Frank gave her a bland smile, like this conversation was straining his patience.
"So, it's nine dollars an hour." Stephanie pressed, thinking any money was better than no money or jail.
Frank pursed his lips and shook his head. "No, it's eight. We charge a dollar an hour for use of the break room and the free coffee."
Stephanie's eyebrows were about an inch from her hairline. "It's not free coffee if you charge a dollar an hour for it."
Frank did a palms-up gesture. "You want the job or not?"
"Fine," Stephanie bit out through clenched teeth, balling her fists so she didn't flip him a classic Italian salute or punch him in the face. She didn't need to add assault to her growing list of charges.
Frank made a come-on gesture with his arm. "Five minutes." He told her and left.
Stephanie eyed the suit and gingerly picked it off the floor, praying you couldn't get fleas from fake fur. She squelched a gag as she pulled one furry leg on and then the other, shimmying into the arms and zipping it up. The stained suit was missing patches of fur, and smelled faintly of mothballs. She took a deep breath, wishing she hadn't when she detected a faint odor under the cloying mothball scent that smelled suspiciously like cat pee, and pulled the hood up, tucking her hair in. The mangled bunny ears hung limply to the side in utter defeat. Much like her pride. With a resigned sigh, she picked up the plastic bunny face and slapped it on. Yep, this was her fabulous life.
An hour later, any lingering thoughts about having children had been answered. Rex was all she was ever going to need. He didn't put his little dirty paws all over her or wail like a Teradactyl when she didn't have his favorite candy.
The bunny suit was hot and itchy, and she debated just how bad a stint in jail would really be as she clawed at the neck of the suit. When a dark RangeMan SUV with blacked-out windows rolled down the street, jail looked better and better. Stephanie pressed herself against the wall and held her breath, praying the bunny suit acted like a cloak of invisibility. The last thing her pride could take was Ranger, or his merry men, seeing her dressed in a mutant rabbit costume handing out generic candy to screaming toddlers. There were so many metaphors for her life wrapped up in that little scenario, it made her head ache and her eye twitch.
The SUV crawled by, and she exhaled a shaky breath when it passed. They were clearly looking for someone. It could be anyone, she assured herself, even though she knew her tracker put her in the vicinity.
When the SUV hooked an illegal U-turn at the end of the block and headed back, she knew her luck hadn't improved. The SUV stopped in front of her, and the passenger window rolled down. Les studied her over the top of his aviators. "Steph?"
Busted. Her eyes darted up and down the street, praying the sidewalk would open up and swallow her whole, taking all traces with it. A beat passed, and the sidewalk stayed firmly in place, and she stepped forward and pulled the plastic mask off.
"Hey Les."
Stephanie tried to sound cheerful, like she wasn't dressed in a rabbit costume that looked like roadkill. She steeled her spine for the teasing. Les was out of the SUV and moving toward her before she even registered the grim expression on his face and the clenched jaw. This was scary soldier Les, and the hair on her neck tingled in warning.
"You need to come with me right now. It's Ranger."
Icy terror and adrenaline ripped through her body with startling speed, bathing her in a cold sweat.
"Ranger?" Stephanie croaked.
She tried to take a step forward, but her knees buckled and she tripped over the giant rabbit paws on her feet.
"No." She shook her head; she wouldn't accept that and started backing away from Les. "No, no," was the only word that left her mouth on repeat, her voice getting louder.
Something couldn't have happened to Ranger. He lived a dangerous existence, but he was so much bigger than life it had never occurred to her he could be hurt or worse.
Les caught her under the arms before she hit the pavement and hauled her up. He half hoisted and half shoved her into the back of the SUV.
"He's not hurt, not physically anyway," Les snapped and gave her what could only be described as a look of disdain laced with disappointment.
Stephanie's paralyzed brain tried to process what he said. Ranger wasn't physically injured. That was good, so why was Les pissed at her?
"What is it? What happened?" She pushed out past her trembling lips, adrenaline buzzing through her veins making her quake.
"Ranger's government handler showed up. He wants Ranger to re-up, and Ranger is going to do it."
"Why?" Stephanie flashed hot, then cold, then pissed. No wonder the rat bastard had been ducking her calls. He didn't even have the balls or the respect to tell her in person.
Les threw her some serious side-eye. "Gee Steph, why do you think?"
Stephanie glanced over at Ram, looking for a clue. He was staring straight ahead, pretending he was blind as a bat and deaf as a post. She crossed her arms and glowered at Les, as much as she could anyway, dressed in a rabbit costume. How the hell was it her fault? Ranger would leave her too.
Les ran an agitated hand through his hair. From the looks of things, it seemed like he had been doing that a lot lately. "I'm not even going to pretend to know what the deal is between the two of you, but just talk to him, OK? Before he signs away another two years of his life or gets himself killed."
Why Les thought Ranger would listen to her was a mystery, but Les was right about one thing. She needed to talk to Ranger. He might not want to hear anything she had to say, but she sure as hell had plenty to say to him. Starting with the fact he was a chickenshit.
"Fine." Stephanie huffed out.
The SUV pulled away from the curb, and Stephanie heard Les mutter. "You're both idiots."
Ranger's hand drifted over the pretty bartender's, brushing her fingers when she poured him another shot.
"Just leave the bottle." He told her.
She smiled at him with her pouty pink lips. "Sure."
She was young, probably too young, but good judgement and his brain weren't in charge of this evening. She had long, dark hair, dark eyes, and big tits. Yeah, she'd do just fine. He threw her what he hoped was a seductive smile, but it was hard to tell since he wasn't entirely sure which one of the two images was the right one. Ranger hadn't been this drunk in years, and a part of him thought it was a damn bad idea. He pushed that notion right out of his head and threw back another slug of whiskey, letting the burn chase it away.
"What's your name, gorgeous?" Ranger slurred the word gorgeous, but she didn't seem to mind as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the bar, giving him a good look at her world-class tits. All four of them. Ranger squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.
"Raine." Her voice was husky, and the sound traveled straight to his cock. The eager bastard twitched to life even as he wondered what kind of hippy parents had named their kid after the weather.
What's your name?" She leaned forward a little further over the counter, showcasing her breasts as they pushed together and thrust up. The creamy swell drawing his eyes.
"Does it matter?"
Raine gave him a practiced smile and licked her lips, like he was dessert. "Only marginally." Her shoulder tilted up. "I just need to know whose name to scream when you make me come."
Ranger smiled back at her. A feral one. "Then you can call me Carlos."
Her fingers skimmed across his hand as he grasped his glass of whiskey, ignoring his screaming conscience. "I have forty minutes left on my shift."
"Perfect." Ranger purred.
He figured that would give him just enough time to down a few more shots so he could forget about another brown-haired beauty with the most gorgeous, expressive blue eyes he'd ever seen, and make sure he had plenty of condoms. If little Raine wanted to scream, he could help her with that. Probably. Assuming he could get his drunk ass dick to cooperate. He wasn't sure when he'd become a one-woman man. OK, so that wasn't entirely true. He remembered the exact minute that little inconvenient truth had happened.
Raine's eyes fixed on something behind him and widened in surprise. The surprise turned to confusion and then veered into fear. Ranger swiveled on his barstool and came face-to-face with a white rabbit. He briefly wondered if he'd been drugged and was about to be kidnapped. Ranger snorted. Taken out by the Easter bunny, now wouldn't that fuck up his karma? His sluggish brain struggled to keep up.
Ranger blinked a couple of times, pretty sure he was hallucinating, but when he opened his eyes, the rabbit was still there, except now it had its hands, or paws or whatever the fuck those things were, on its hips. His gazed traveled over the rabbit and jerked back to its face. It was possible he was drunker than he thought because the rabbit had Stephanie's face. He closed one eye and squinted with the other, but nothing changed. It still looked like Stephanie in a rabbit suit, hands on her hips, pissed off in full-on rhino mode.
"Super," Ranger muttered and scrubbed his hands down his face.
"We need to talk."
The whiskey in his stomach sloshed around and Ranger swallowed hard. Those words were enough to strike terror into any sane man, because nothing good ever came after that statement. Usually, it was followed with you're an asshole. It's me, not you, or his all-time favorite. Surprise, I'm pregnant.
Anger boiled through Ranger like a poisonous cauldron, bubbling to the surface. "I'm busy." He turned back to the bar.
"Getting drunk? Yeah, I can see that."
But not near drunk enough, because he was still vertical, and he hadn't made it to the forgetting part yet.
"And laid." Ranger sneered.
Stephanie sucked in a shocked breath, and Ranger ignored the flash of hurt that marred her perfect features. Ranger wanted to bite his own tongue off. He didn't have any right to be mad. She'd just done what he told her to.
A satisfied smile flickered across Raine's face as she watched the two of them like a tennis match as they lobbed terse words back and forth. Stephanie threw Raine a world champion death glare.
"Do you mind?" Stephanie hissed.
Raine slunk back from the bar. No match for a girl from the Burg.
"Five minutes." Ranger called after Raine.
Ranger calculated his odds of getting laid had plummeted to single digits. Raine struck him as a girl that enjoyed a good time, but not one that liked a guy with baggage, and his was on full display. Dressed down by a pissed off woman in a rabbit suit had reduced his cool factor by at least half. Ranger toyed with his empty glass.
"Don't you think you've had enough of that?"
Ranger picked up the bottled and poured himself another shot, sloshing a good amount of whiskey on the bar.
"I'd say not near enough to deal with you."
Stephanie folded the rabbit arms across her chest and turned her death glare on him. The absurdity of the situation almost made him smile. Stephanie was in a mangy rabbit suit that looked like the muppets had puked on it, and she was still the most beautiful woman in the room, and the only one he wanted. Right now, she owned his drunk ass. One of the few people in the world strong enough and brave enough to call him on his shit, and handle his darkness.
Ranger made a vague sweeping gesture with his hand. "Why are you wearing that?"
"Well, if you returned any of my calls, you would know." Her eyes blazed with a silent double-dog-dare to deny it or say something else stupid.
Ranger winced. She had a point. A dull throb had started behind his eyeball, and it ratcheted up to jackhammer level. Ranger just waited. Mainly because he was deathly afraid if he opened his mouth, he might projectile vomit. His stomach roiled and pitched like an angry sea. Some from the whiskey, but mainly because he knew once they had this talk, that would be it. There was no going back, no pretending it wasn't true, and no more goodness in his life. He always knew this day was coming, but he had been woefully unprepared for how much it would hurt. The clawing, twisting, howling pain in his chest as the last ember of fantasy was extinguished.
"We need to talk about Belichick." Stephanie stated.
Ranger's head snapped up and his brained slammed against his skull, making him grimace. Of all the things that Ranger had expected to pop out of that gorgeous mouth, that had been dead last.
"Lower your voice." Ranger ordered and scanned the bar to see if anyone was listening. There were a few curious pairs of eyes trained their way. Probably because of the rabbit suit, but ears were everywhere.
Ranger stood up, swayed a little on his feet, and through sheer force of will didn't do a face plant.
"Not here." Ranger grabbed Stephanie by the upper arm and moved her towards the door. He snagged the bottle of whiskey off the bar as an afterthought. Getting laid had dropped to a zero-probability game, but at least pass-out-drunk was still a contender.
Ranger pushed Stephanie onto the elevator, and they rode in stony silence to the top floor. It took him three tries, but he finally managed to key the lock to his room and open the door. Ranger pushed inside and Stephanie followed him. The coolness of the room washed over him and he squeezed his eyes shut for just a second, trying to find his equilibrium before he turned to face her, setting the half-empty bottle of whiskey on the table.
"How did you find me?" Ranger demanded.
Stephanie just shrugged. "Les."
"Remind me to fire him." Ranger heaved out an exasperated breath.
All he wanted to do was get drunk, have some meaningless sex, and forget for a while, but he could tell by the grim set to Stephanie's mouth exactly none of those things were happening.
"What do you know about Belichick?" Ranger asked.
He eyed her, looking for any telltale signs of deception. Thankfully, there was only one of her to assess. His buzz was rapidly waning.
"He's your government handler, and he asked you to sign up for another two years. Are you?"
Ranger's hand rested over his mouth in a futile effort to keep him from blurting out something stupid.
"Well?" Stephanie prodded.
Irritation rippled through Ranger. Why did she care?
"Yes."
Confusion swirled across her face, mingled with anger. "Why?" She whispered, shaking her head, like the confirmation was too much to bear.
Ranger crossed his arms over his chest, so he would keep his traitorous hands to himself. "It's what I do Stephanie. I'm a mercenary."
The tears that sprang to her eyes, the look of abandonment, and her trembling lower lip. That dejected expression was going to haunt him forever, and he hated his weakness.
Ranger made a sweeping motion with his arm. "Is that what you came here for? Or did you come for one more roll in the hay, just for old time's sake?"
Anger, hurt and humiliation flashed over Stephanie like a wildfire. Before she even realized what she was doing, her arm came up. The urge to slap that stupid, smug look off his face blotted out all good judgement. Ranger caught her wrist and backed her against the wall, pinning her with his body weight.
The whiskey on his breath tickled her nostrils as he leaned in close to her ear, his voice husky with whiskey and emotion. "Want to try that again, babe?" Ranger whispered.
Stephanie was a little horrified she'd actually tried to hit him, but someone needed to slap the stupid right out of him. She'd never seen him like this, drunk and belligerent.
He pressed into her and her head lolled back as he shoved his muscular thigh between her legs, dominating her space. His face was mere inches from hers as he kept her hand pinned to the wall above her head. The air between them crackled and sparked, electrified with anger and need.
A decadent moan escaped from low in her throat as she bucked against his leg. He could feel her damn heat searing his thigh, and his cock surged to life, the sick fucker doing its best to bust through the fabric of his pants. Desire dangerous and white-hot swirled between them. What the hell was wrong with him? Ranger stepped back and released her.
"How dare you say that to me? You're the one that shows up rocks my world and then disappears from my bed the next morning, and I don't see you again until you get the urge to scratch an itch."
"I'm an opportunist."
"You're an ass."
"And you run back to Morelli every damn time."
"Because you told me to repair my relationship with him. You practically threw me at him because you didn't want me." Stephanie shouted, hands on her hips, nostrils flaring.
Her voice sounded like she might be possessed by a demon, and Ranger decided he should tread lightly, but all that liquor was clouding his judgement.
"I do want you."
"Right", Stephanie snorted. "But just not enough. Condom, not a ring. I remember." Stephanie threw his words back at him.
She was right. It had been a stupid thing to say that was uttered in a moment of panic. Now Ranger didn't know what to say, because whatever he wanted didn't matter anymore. Stephanie took his silence as concurrence.
"You're a mean drunk." She accused.
"No, babe. I'm just mean." Ranger responded, suddenly weary, and ashamed.
How could he do that to her, shove her up against the wall like that, knowing what he did? His stomach pitched and rolled and he fought back the bile that surged up his throat as cold sweat bathed his skin.
"You're green." Stephanie eyed him. "You're going to puke."
"Yep." Ranger confirmed and lunged for the bathroom.
Stephanie pulled her teeth between her lips in an effort not to smile. Ranger puking wasn't really funny, but it seemed a tiny bit like instant karma. Something Ranger was in a desperate race to fix. If she was lucky, he would take it as a sign from the universe that he should stop being such a daft prick.
Ranger vomited up the whiskey, the pain, and the anger, until all that was left was the bitter taste of regret. No matter how many times he brushed his teeth, he couldn't get rid of it. He'd fucked up, not her.
Ranger splashed cold water on his face and looked at the jackass staring back at him in the mirror. He could do this and be happy for her. Ranger's shoulders sagged. Sure he could, as long as it was from halfway across the world. Ranger would call Belichick tonight and sign the paperwork, and ship out as soon as possible. Save them both some grief.
Ranger squared his spine and told himself he was at peace with his decision and opened the bathroom door. Stephanie had pulled off the idiotic rabbit costume. Barefoot, and dressed in a pair of black leggings and a black tank top that clung to her like a second skin, Ranger kind of wished she would put the rabbit suit back on. She had made coffee and offered him a cup. His eyes roamed her body as he took it.
After an awkward moment of silence, Stephanie crossed her arms protectively over her belly. "Why are you staring at me like that?"
"Sorry," Ranger mumbled.
He didn't mean to stare, but it was hard not to the way those leggings clung to her lush ass and slightly rounded abdomen, reminding him of how a woman should feel. Soft and inviting. She eyed him with a fair amount of suspicion before picking up her coffee.
"Do you think you should drink that?" Ranger asked before he could stop himself.
"Sure, why? I mean, it's not great coffee, but I've had worse." She threw him a look that said he might be a shade off of stupid.
"Because caffeine is bad for the baby." Ranger blurted out.
Stephanie's hand froze halfway to her mouth that had popped open, but no sound came out. That's when Ranger noticed she wasn't wearing whatever pathetic excuse Morelli would have given her as an engagement ring, and she wasn't showing. A perverse part of him was glad he didn't have to see her swollen belly pregnant with another man's child.
A snort erupted and Stephanie clamped her hand over her mouth, trying to stop the next one, but it was useless. Another loud snort escaped and then Stephanie started to laugh, and she kept laughing until tears were streaming down her face. Great peals of laughter that shook her whole body.
Ranger decided it must be pregnancy hormones, or maybe it was the LSD he'd dropped in college coming back to bite him in the ass. Either way, he figured the smartest option was to wait it out. Mainly because he had no clue what to do with a slightly hysterical pregnant woman. He briefly considered calling Bobby, but he didn't know how to delicately explain this little scenario. In a hotel room, drunk with a pregnant woman that was engaged to another man.
"I'm not pregnant, you blind moron." Stephanie heaved out between hiccupping giggles, as she wiped the tears and the smeared mascara from under her eyes.
"Of course, you are."
"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd know." Stephanie shot him a pointed look. "What makes you think I'm pregnant? I haven't gained that much weight."
No, she definitely hadn't gained any weight. She still had the same perfect body that made him weak in the knees and soft in the head. A body he had no idea how she managed with her diet, but that was hardly the point.
But Ranger had been there. He'd heard it plain as day. It was seared into his brain, and stalked his every waking moment for the last two weeks.
"I heard your mom and Angie Morelli talking about it." Ranger was perplexed. Why would Stephanie lie about something like this?
Stephanie propped her hip against the table and crossed her arms, waiting, and gave him a look that said this should be good.
"They were discussing renting the VFW for the reception. Your mom said the wedding had to be in May, whether or not they could rent the hall, because if they waited too much longer, you would be big as a house, and you didn't want to look like a white whale in your wedding dress."
Stephanie's brow quirked up. "I thought you were supposed to be smart and observant."
Ranger figured that statement should offend him, but it was clear he'd missed something important. "Enlighten me then."
"Did you hear my mom say Stephanie?"
Ranger's mind drifted back to the conversation. The one that had made his ears bleed and his brain boil. Had Stephanie's mom used her name?
"She said her daughter." Ranger hedged, not daring to hope.
Stephanie threw him a humorless smile. "I see. Not that it's really any of your business, but my sort of engaged to be engaged fiancé knocked up my sister. Valerie and Joe are getting married. He used the ring he bought for me to propose. It was a real pack of shits and giggles."
Ranger's stomach dropped, and he sucked in a desperate breath, wanting to believe. He stepped toward her, knowing he should offer her comfort instead of being ecstatic her relationship with the cop had imploded in a spectacular fashion.
"Babe."
Stephanie put up her hands, stopping him. "It's fine."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Seriously? I tried. I called you a dozen times, and then I got arrested."
Ranger rubbed the back of his neck. "Arrested?"
Stephanie waved her hand dismissively. "It's no big deal. I have to pay restitution for the property damage. That's why I'm in this stupid rabbit suit."
"Steph, I'm sorry."
Ranger reached for her, but she pulled away, not ready or able to let him hold her. At least she didn't slap him again, so that seemed like progress.
"I thought you were calling to tell me the good news, and I just didn't know how to accept it." Ranger tried to explain. "Are you OK?"
Stephanie blew a curl out of her face. "I mean, it's not fine, but the funny thing is, I'm not upset that Morelli and I are through. I'm kind of glad that it's for sure over and there isn't any going back, but I'm upset that my ex is now going to be a part of my family and I don't even get to be pissed at him or my sister."
"I could teach him some respect, if you want." Ranger offered.
That got a slight smile from her. "All the ducking my calls, running off to play soldier of fortune. That was what it was all about? You thought I was pregnant?"
"I thought I'd lost you."
The implication of that statement filled the space between them. Neither knowing exactly what to do with it.
"I'm not leaving, if you're not." Stephanie finally said.
Their gazes locked. "You came here to talk me out of re-upping." It was a statement, not a question. "Why?"
Stephanie scrunched up her nose and toed the carpet. "You know why."
Ranger was in front of her, and his hand trailed down the side of her face. "I think you had better tell me."
"You're my best friend, and I would miss you."
"Friend?"
The sound of Stephanie swallowing echoed in the quiet room. Ranger leaned in and brushed a kiss across her lips, and cradled her in his arms. Something he had been terrified he would never get to do again.
Within seconds, the kiss turned from gentle to ravenous, as her hands wrapped in his silky hair and pulled him closer. The indistinct sound of pleasure that rumbled in his chest wrapped around her so tight she could no longer breathe. Losing him was unacceptable. She wasn't sure when it had happened, but he'd become everything that was good and right in her life. Stephanie pulled back and searched his face. Ranger's eyes blazed and his lips were parted as he studied her, indecision warring across his face.
Stephanie licked her well-kissed lips and decided life was too short to play stupid games. "Do you want to be more than just a friend with benefits?"
Time stood still and Stephanie trembled as she waited for her fate to be sealed. What if he said no? Could she live with that? It was possible she was going to hyperventilate and pass out if he didn't answer the damn question.
"I do." His reply was strong, clear, and sure.
Ranger kissed her again. This one curled her toes and had her making sounds she didn't know were humanly possible.
When he finally released her mouth, they were both panting and her legs trembled from relief and desire, mingled with happiness.
"You came here to talk me out of signing up with Belichick?"
"I did." Stephanie confirmed.
"What were you going to do if I said no. Kidnap me?" Ranger teased.
"If I had to, because there is nothing I wouldn't do for you." Embarrassment flushed up her neck at that confession. "Come on, let's get out of here."
"Where are we going?'
"The beach for a few days. Walk in the sand and talk. Really talk, and figure this thing out. No work, no family, just the two of us."
"So, you are going to kidnap me?"
Stephanie laughed. "Someday you'll thank me for kidnapping you."
Ranger's hand slid around to her ass and gave it a squeeze. "I can think of lots of ways to thank you."
"Oh god," Stephanie whispered when his hands slid under her waistband.
"And I plan to spend the entire week thanking you. Every. Single. Day." Ranger growled as he nuzzled her neck and pressed into her, letting her know just what he thought about that idea.