Ranma Aqua-Isekai'd, by Chaos Orchid
Chapter 16: Gimme a Good Reason
With his tanktop and boxers under his kung fu-style outfit, Ranma was sitting in the dorm's cafeteria, hungrily looking forward to breakfast. He was told he would have to wait as it was Eyeshadow's turn to prepare it. "Let's hope she gets over her hangup over doing "women's work"," Facial said.
"Don't bet on it," the purple-haired Eyeliner said.
"I have!"
"Only because it's a longshot and you're hoping to break even," Highlight teased orange-haired girl.
"No! I have faith she's coming to accept being a girl!" But Facial sounded like she was trying to fool herself. Her big hazel eyes refused to sparkle.
"Don't worry, Ranma," Tint (brown-hair with yellow streaks) said, sounding almost confident. ""Big Sister Yue is with Little Brother. She's the best cook of us all."
"But Yue's in there around cold water." Eyeliner looked worried.
"One little accident and she becomes powder." Concealer sounded hopeful. (Green hair? Ranma had started thinking he should get to know how to who was who among the people he was going to have to live and work and eat with.)
"Powder hates cooking," Highlight told him. "He's even worse than Eyeshadow. It's not "manly" enough for him." (Yellow hair-Not blonde: Bright yellow!)
(Ranma took his mind away from the weird colors they all had.) "Not manly?" Ranma had heard that cliche, but knew the best chefs in the world were men. "I do the cookin' all the time when me and Pop can set up camp. He just tries to get away with just eatin' it."
"We have a kitchen," Shé (blue-black hair) told him. "You are going to have to learn to cook more than the simple fare of hiker's food. You did say hiking is how you came to Jusenkyo."
"After swimming across the ocean!" Highlight smiled admiringly at him. The group had already made Ranma tell them the important details of not only how he became cursed but what had happened all the way up to when he arrived at the dorm. "Important" details being those that decided who won what in the betting pool Tint ran for each new immigrant to This-side.
The really important detail being one nobody had thought to add to the pool. "Shé won't have to discipline Powder, now," Eyeliner smiled. "With your abilities, Eyeshadow can now do it!"
"Hey! The only one usin' my abilities should be me! I'll discipline-"
"I'm in the kitchen with the weakling again!" growled a bass voice with large lungs.
Ranma leaped over the table and the heads in front of him, swung off the doorjamb, grabbed the doorjamb across the hall, swung again and landed in the kitchen to face the huge, muscular and buzz-cut man in a wǔxiá outfit. He had seen them in Chinese martial arts shows but they reminded him of kendogi. And though the guy didn't have a sword, he did have an all-purpose Chinese cleaver. "Drop it!" he demanded.
Splash! And the opponent was replaced by a tall, slender woman in a more colorful version of the hànfú. Total anti-climax. Her very brown hair was buzz-cut, too.
"She is my sister!" the redhead told him, holding a still steaming pot.
"Then why was everybody worried!? All you hada do was get him wet!"
"He doesn't like getting hot water on him any more than Yue like getting cold on her!"
"So, uh…I distracted him?"
Eyeshadow frowned, but admitted, 'Yeah."
"Thank you, Ranma!" Yue bowed deeply, gracefully.
"Listen, it ain't safe for you bein' in here. Why don't you let me help to finish breakfast?"
"But I like cooking," a disappointed Yue said. "It lets me feel like a woman."
Ranma saw the cursed guy wince. "I like to cook, too. Sort of. But I promise, it don't make me feel like a woman."
Yue got the message. "I'll, I'll let you assist Little Brother." There was a tear in her eye as she left.
"It's been rough on her. We had a nanny, but Yue was more the one more like our substitute mother." Then the redhead went to refilling the pot. "Remind me to take it off the stove before it boils."
"You get scalded much?" He said to the girl in the green, floral print, silk blouse and pants.
"Not as much. I've been trying to learn healing techniques, but Elder Cologne and the others are better than doctors. Of course, they have magic."
"...'healing techniques'." And Ranma snorted. She now had his(!) techniques.
"But only when I am a girl. I still have to learn to use them as a guy." Eyeshadow's response irritated Ranma even more. Was she even able to read his mind!? She did have a connection to the other redhead his other half was right now, and that other half was him before they were split in two by different worlds. It was a triangle relationship.
"What are we makin'?"
"Something even I'm not supposed to be able to fail at. Congee."
Ranma looked in the other pot of porridge. "You're not using leftover rice? And what are the toppings? How about eggs?"
"This is This-side. If you were cursed to be a hen, would you want people to eat your eggs?"
"Why not? If they're not fertilized, it'd be a waste not to sell them."
"I used to think the same way. But, surrounded by women…." she finished the sentence in a defeated groan. "Anyway. There's only a couple who have been cursed to be hens. The wife and husband sell them to the Elders for their potions."
" 'Wife and'…." An icy shiver went up his spine.
"I'm putting pickled vegetables and tofu on the congee."
"Let me taste it." Heh, heh! There looked to be enough for him to have seconds before he even had his first helping.
But, "Ga-ack! It tastes like rotten eggs!"
"Some of the sulfur from the hot springwater that's piped in came through-I forgot to check!"
"And you ruined it! Even I wouldn't eat that. And I eat just about anything!
"This is an insult to me! Everybody knows you have my abilities! They're all gonna think I'm a rotten cook! If you're gonna use my abilities, use them! Don't ruin my reputation!"
"So you have decided to train me." She didn't look happy about it.
"Protectin' my reputation is the only good reason I have to do it. They're temptin' me to do it by sayin' it'd qualify me for the Elder match, but when I'm done, you'll be just as qualified. More so! You'll always be more near a full-time woman than I'll ever be." As long as his other half was alive.
"Powder calls me a weakling." She was even more disturbed, now, her hands pulling at the feminine outfit she had on.
"Huh? Not with my abilities."
"He means I give in too much to the pressure to become more like the Women Heroes." The redhead closed her eyes. "It's not so bad when I am a girl." And now she made two little fists in front of her. It made her look cute. "But when I'm a guy, the memories make me feel like a sissy!"
"Then I guess I gotta train you to be more like me in bein' a guy, too." He puffed out his breastless chest. "A man among men."
"Hey, 'Men Among Men'," Tint said, sticking his yellow-streaked head into the kitchen, "we became too hungry waiting for Little Brother to serve us something barely edible. We voted to use our creds to eat out. Care to join us?"
"Creds?"
"We don't use money in the Village," Eyeshadow told Ranma. "We use our credentials. We're guards and that earns us perks that a lot of the others don't have."
"One of them is being able to eat out twice a week!" Tint smiled.
"But I ain't done no guardin'."
"I'll let you use one of my creds," she grinned, holding up a handful of woodblock printed chits. "You can pay me back later."
"She won them from the others. Sis is very good at gambling," Eyeshadow frowned. "And once you're in her debt-"
"Uh, uh! I haven't called in one of your overdue IOU's. Yet."
Ranma's stomach had been yelling at him long before he had entered the kitchen. He could no longer ignore it. "I'll take it!' he said. And hoping to impress, he grabbed for a coupon.
But they were gone before he could get them. The guy in leather armor knew slight of hand. "My parents knew a lot of people in show business!"
"You said I could have one!"
"Nobody told you that it isn't polite to grab?"
"No! Pop was always grabbin'. And usually from me!"
"Then you were raised wrong and need to learn your manners. Now, ask me nicely."
That smug smile got to Ranma. "I don't beg!"
"How about a gamble, then? I'll challenge you to do something that's worth a meal. You win, you eat. No debt. Yet."
Ranma was almost ready to eat the porridge. Almost. "You're on! Ranma Saotome never backs down from a challenge!
"Idiot," Eyeshadow said quietly. "Of all people to say that to."
By the time the three of them left the two-story building the dorm was in, the rest of the "Sorority" was gone and out of sight. But there were other people out on the street. And almost all seemed to be girls, women and little old ladies. (Why weren't there any tall old ladies?) Even the few animals he saw were female. Though, unlike the humans, they were drab and not very colorful.
"Where are the men?"
"They're in the Daddies' Compound," Eyeshadow told him. Her mood didn't improve.
"The Daddies Compound? Where's that?"
Tint's not overly muscular arm pointed. "See that cloud next to that mountain over there? It's near that. You can always find it, because the cloud is always there."
"What? Uh, is it magic?"
"It is," Eyeshadow said. "It'll rain, thunder and lightning on anything large enough that flies close to it. Even Sweetie stays away from it."
"Sweetie. The falcon girl."
"More like the girl falcon. But that gets us away from the Daddies' Compound," Tint said. "The cloud's real purpose is to protect the men and kids from the Phoenix people."
"But it's also rain on anybody that its cold water can change. It's happened to me," the redhead moaned. "Once for a whole week."
"Little Brother's first guard duty was there. It helped convince him to try being a girl."
"You mean…"
"Yeah. If I'm not a good enough woman, I become a daddy."
"Is it really that bad?" Hmph! Pop had it good compared to what he, his son, had to go through!
Then something clicked. "Daddy!? If you're a woman, you risk becomin' a mother! That's gotta be nine months of bein' worse than the dad!"
"There's your challenge!' Tint cried out.
"To become a mother!? No way! The only martial arts'd be to keep from becomin' a mom!"
"Look where I'm pointing this time: There's Nylon!" The man wearing blue purple, metal-scaled vest and white silk pants was headed towards Cologne's building.
"That's Nylon. So?"
"This is the Village of Women Heroes. He's neither a woman nor a hero."
"You want me to chase him out of town!? That's not a challenge, that's guard duty! You just want me to do your job for you!"
"This cred I'm waving in your face comes from one of the guards. You'll be doing something like what she had to do to earn it."
Ranma and his stomach growled at the same time. "Okay! Okay! Hey! Nylon, whatcha doin' here?!"
"What is it to you, Woman Wannabe?" he sneered.
"I ain't a wannabe!"
"You're right. You are a woman." His sneer was now a purposeful leer.
He was right! Ranma suddenly had to look up at him. She had shrunk and softened and went in-and-out in all the wrong places! "Magic's playin' games with me! My other half finds hot water Now of all times!?"
"I'll take care of this, Ranma!" Eyeshadow volunteered.
"No! I hafta earn my way. And those are my(!) abilities you'd be usin'!
"Nylon! Don't make me madder 'n I already am!"
"You are mad if you believe you can take me on," he said in that annoyingly arrogant way of his. "But I have something more important to take care of." And he opened the door to Cologne's shop. "Hey, Short-term, have you filled my prescription?"
"Let me see. Don't tell me your name." Ranma could see through the window the guy obsessed with Eyeshadow (and not her! He only had the two redheads confused!) was looking at cubbyholes. "Ah! This drawing looks like you." Hairdo said. "Oh, I don't remember being such a good artist."
Despite Nylon's bravado, he hadn't turned his back on Ranma and the others. The shop assistant had to deliver the prescription to the door. Ranma felt the trainwreck coming.
"Red!" Hairdo cried, dropping the packet and racing to her.
"No! This is the Red you want!" she cried, judo tossing Eyeshadow into his arms.
"How could you do this to me!" the other redhead cried, kicking and throwing a tantrum.
"Call this trainin'! Use what I gave you! If you can't-" Ranma couldn't possibly ignore the sudden appearance of a furry beast-man two-stories high with the head of an ox. Those were almost enough for her to forget it also had the tail of an eel and the wings of a crane.
And it bellowed in utter frustration! It wasn't long, though. It stopped to drop the now tiny packet of herbs and whatever into its mouth. In the time it took for it to reach its stomach, it shrank?!
And by the time it was human-sized tall-Eyeshadow threw Hairdo into its(!) arms.
It now bellowed from the indignancy-and tossed him at Ranma!
"Hey! You could hurt somebody doin' that!" Ranma did catch the love-sick pharmacist (he was heavier than he looked because of all the things she could feel under his clothes), but immediately tossed the guy into the arms of a beautiful woman down the street. Cologne.
Nylon also noticed Cologne and Sweetie and used its crane wings to take flight.
"Runnin' away from a girl!?" And Ranma did a roofhop leap, catching the now less huge monster by a hoof.
She forced it to stay low enough for her to skim along Cologne's roof. But as the end was coming, she knew she had only one shot at putting some respect into the creep! Her feet found their purchase and she was able to swing it violently around and away!
Her smile was a very satisfied one as she watched as the magic guardian cloud not only rain on the monster, but hit it with a lightning bolt! Perfect!
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NOTES:
Powder was the one who cut off all of Yue's beautiful long hair, of course. He considered it to effeminate. Especially the way she had worn it.
Nylon had earned cred for helping to escort Ranma the day before. He received enough to buy some doses that temporarily remedied his biggest problem he had with being a monster-His size! This world doesn't have a place where a room's ceiling is over two-stories high. Never knowing when he would grow meant people wanted him kept outside. It did not encourage social skills.