Introduction
These are the holy scripture of a group of fanatics called the Follows of the Light. Derogatively, they are known as Seamusists, and their so-called false religion Seamusism. It's difficult to tell how many books make up their made-up Bible, but it is believed the first book to be written is the Book of Seamus, a "book" detailing the live and death of their founder Seamus of Earth.
Not much is known about Seamus. But from the writings that remain of his, he seemed to have been a militant atheist. Why he chooses to start a new religion has puzzled many people. It should be noted Seamus was never born in 1975, like the text claims, but instead 1992. There are some who argue the man never existed at all. Furthermore, it is commonly accepted the man behind Seamus was never kill at all.
Why the religion never took off is obvious. Throughout the Book of Seamus, he preached about people 'becoming their own gods', whatever that means. Those who knew the boy claimed he would spend most of his time on the internet arguing with people around religion. He seemed to have only gained a single follower, although this 'follower' informed me he only did so for the laughs.
Whatever can be cyphered, the Book of Seamus is a work of someone incredibly mentally ill. People have tried to work out what exactly the text is trying to say. But all have gone away confused. Rants about a 'false god' called Jehovah fill the text. It's clear everything is written by one individual, although some people argue the Book of Connor and the Book of Sam are by a different author.
Interestingly, the Book of Seamus contains the first mention of Gareth Vandersleld. Although the mystery figure cannot be truly identified, according to legends he dated the famous goffik author Tara Gilesbie (make what you think of that). The only writings that survive of Gareth are suicidal emo poems.
I have posted these books so that they can be preserved. Hopefully, someone smarter than myself can work out what he is say (and furthermore, work out if this could even be considered Bible fanfiction). Enjoy.
Yours faithfully
Oddonomics