I'm not suppose to love you anymore is my 30th story – An impressive number for someone who doesn't see themself as a writer. But maybe after 30 stories this might be more than a hobby, either way it's been fun. This story is set around S3 and that horrible time after Prague. It has never been my favourite chunk of episodes so I am glad to write what I think could have been. Chuck heads to Rome despite his strong feelings for Sarah but he can't wait for her anymore. Sarah tries to deny her feelings telling herself that she can't love him anymore and for a time it works but when Shaw tries to move in on her. She has to choose Shaw or the man she told herself not to love anymore. Will it be too late, does she have it in her to fight for him no matter what the consequences will be.
Chapter 1
LA present day
Sarah sat in her car once again staring at the Buy More's front doors adding to the train wreck her life had taken. She knew she was to blame for this feeling but she still sat there looking at what was now her reality. She knew he wasn't going to walk by, she knew he wasn't going to tap on her window looking at her with his brown eyes and anxiously waiting for her to unlock Orange Orange, knowing that he could have gone inside long before that. She stared knowing that she was probably already late for her Orange Orange shift. Which she didn't care for anymore and what was the use when he was gone.
Every day since he left, going to work wasn't as fun anymore. Knowing that he wouldn't be coming by for his yogurt snack, despite the horrible last six months, she thought that it had been good between them. They were starting to spend a lot of time together after Blackrock and had finally decided to take things to the next level. Sarah drifted off to that night when everything changed. They had ordered Spyro, wanting desperately to rekindle that morning in Blackrock. Things were heading in that direction. But their romantic evening was interrupted with a call from General Beckman informing Chuck that he was needed in Prague. She told him that an opening had opened up at their training facility to work on the new Intersect 2.0. Chuck got up and adjusted his shirt as he fumbled with the phone while Sarah sat up grabbing her wine. She watched him as his eyes lit up with the chance to see what the 2.0 could do. Those eyes that were on her seconds ago, his lips touching hers. His hands kneading her body.
A car horn snapped her out of her thoughts. She wiped a tear that had formed and rubbed under her eyes the puffiness that had come with all the tears. She opened her door and stepped out taking a deep breath, like she had done many times before when he got under her skin. She wished she had that chance again. She headed towards O2. It had been three months since he left and this was week number 13. She walked to the door and walked in seeing her co worker also an agent taking off her apron. "Good morning Sarah."
Sarah looked at her and smiled. She was tired of faking a smile, faking everything and lying about how she felt about someone. It took everything in her to repeat the greeting back as the agent headed out for her break. "Oh by the way Major Casey wants to talk to you."
Sarah washed her hands and grabbed her apron and tied it tight grabbing the box of fresh fruit and started slicing them. Later in the day, Sarah slipped down into Castle remembering the last time she talked to Chuck, her heart was still healing after Prague and seeing him kill the mole. It continued to break when for what ever reason she chose not to go with him after he asked her. She remembered how harsh she was to him when she spoke to him. How he wasn't the man she knew. And when he turned away from her his words were like a knife to her heart. "Well I guess you can finally be with Shaw."
Those words still dug deep into her heart as she placed her foot on the last step and saw Casey. 'It wasn't supposed to be like this'. She kept telling herself. 'After Blackrock they planned to take it to the next level.' She remembered sharing some intense kisses and very distracting touch's, when they came back. And every moment in his arms she knew it was going to happen between them. But looking at the doors he walked out of three months ago, so did her hopes to be with him. He was gone, he chose Rome, she lost, him, again.
She heard that voice in her head remerging once again laughing at her, then whispering to her over and over and over again. 'You're not suppose to love him anymore remember? You told yourself that, you made him leave, you chose the job over him.'
Tevignano Romano (45 minutes north of Rome on Lake Bracciano)
Chuck had finally took a breath as he was finally done with debriefs, training and a rapid course in Latin. He was happy that the 2.0 had gifted him with better recall and the ability to recall languages faster than if he had to take it another way. He also agreed to spend time making up his training he failed to complete in Prague but this time he had no reason to fail. There was no one that was keeping him from succeeding and his questions were answered when she said no. He left the undisclosed facility in Rome and was led to a dark range rover with tinted window in the back alley. He was given a file by Andre. Andre was his muscle though he didn't really need the help. He reminded Chuck of Casey but with an Italian accent. Andre was the only one who knew who Chuck really was beside those he just left. The rest of the world knew him or would soon know him as Brexton James Albright. Multimillionaire playboy, who made his money selling stocks in software. Chuck knew that Beckman had come up with his alias and kept true to what Chuck had studied for at Stanford. Andre closed the door and slipped to the driver's side and drove off. Chuck opened the file and looked at his bio and this weeks mission detail. Chuck had memorized the logistics but this was his weekly schedule of who's who in and near Rome. His mission was to recover intel that contained what the CIA, Europol and Interpol believed had embedded microdots intel with it. They had been unsuccessful in gathering the intel and as to whomever was behind it because they were always a step ahead. They felt that Chuck would be able to come in with fresh eyes and seek out those involved. But as far as they were concerned those with sketchy pasts knew he was the one to call if you wanted things to hide. He hoped that if he was able to make a connection he could get his hands on the microdot intel and be done with this mission and go home.
Chuck heard his new name being called. He looked up. "Relax, you have trained for this and you are ready for this."
"I'm glad you think so. At this point I would be told to sit in the car."
Andre laughed. He had heard the stories of Chuck's old team and he had heard the stories of this Agent named Sarah Walker. He drove into the long driveway of Chuck's new villa knowing that she was still a soft spot that had never had time to heal and he wondered if Chuck would ever get over her, even being as far as he was from her. Andre parked and walked around opening the door. Chuck got out. "Remember your Brexton." Chuck smiled a straight smile and adjusted his suit jacket. As he looked around his villa, she pop into his head, and a few more times but 'That ship had sailed', he told himself. He watched as his bags were taken by his staff, his staff. Chuck shook his head and smiled. They were excited to meet their new tenant and knew him only by his name. Brexton James Albright a multi millionaire playboy.
Chuck knew by the many times he had stared at his new name, learning the name, the life, the role and what his mission would entail, he had his hands full. He knew that Beckman was pleased to loan Chuck to Europol, which added to her portfolio and had been waiting for months to make it happen. He heard his cell ring and looked at the screen and smiled. 'Right on time General.' Chuck pressed the call button. Chuck whispered. "General."
"Chuck, I mean Brexton. Have you settled in? They told me that you had arrived at the villa?"
"I have, I just walked in actually."
"Well word is out that a young successful American has moved in. Your back story is already making its rounds. We have a team making sure that people are aware that you're the one to call."
"They work as fast as molasses here General."
"Just be patient. How is it going otherwise?"
"Not what I expected but being in Prague was a piece of cake. Pretending to be someone your not. (Chuck thought of Sarah and how she treated him)
"We're not talking about Rome now are we?"
Chuck took a deep sigh. "Sorry General, just a lot on my plate right now."
"It will get better. Check in with Europol tomorrow and let me know if you need anything."
"Thank you General."
"Call me Diane."
Chuck smiled. "I will, Diane."
Chuck slipped his phone into his suit pocket. He walked into the villa and stopped shy of a stairs looking at the reflection in the mirror. Chuck's tailored suit and styled hair, that actually accentuated his curls made him look like a real spy. He ran his hands down his lapel and remembered Sarah smoothing his lapel in the exact motion he had just done when he had to meet with the black widow. He smiled slightly at the thought then headed upstairs to where his room over looked Lake Bracciano. He stepped out to the balcony and stared out at the blue sky. 'If it looks this good during the day it has to look even more romantic at night.'
"Signore Albright?"
Chuck turned around for the last time. He was now Brexton James Albright multi -millionaire playboy.
"Si."
"Il pranzo."
Chuck/Brexton thought for a quick second. "Si lunchtime."
Brexton walked to the door. "Il tuo nome?"
The middle aged woman smiled. "Giulia?"
"Julia?"
"Si."
"Piacere di conoscerti."
"Si…pleased to meet you too signore Albright."
"Chiamami Brexton."
"Vieni a mangiare."
"Don't have to ask me twice."
Chuck/Brexton followed Giulia down the stairs to an outside table over looking the back yard of the villa and to his north the lake bouncing on the horizon. Giulia poured Chuck/Brexton a glass of sparkling water and walked back inside. Chuck/Brexton reached for the glass and took a long sip.
LA – month later
Sarah finished her paper work and wanted to head out before Shaw came back. She had a bit more free time as O2 finally closed down and they remodeled it into a tax service business. And with her free time it allowed Shaw more of an opportunity to prance around, as if he had won the lottery knowing that he no longer had competition for the one and only Sarah Walker. His plan was to resume what they had before. He knew that he had wooed her once and he figured he could do it again. Sarah grabbed her bag and slipped out just before Shaw saw her.
Sarah tossed and turned wrestling with her thoughts and the voices in her head. She called in sick making an excuse that Casey knew was just an excuse and not a life threatening reason. He knew she had been dealing with stuff and even the odd mission that had she wasn't the same person. She had started to close her doors and put up her walls as she had around her years ago. Before Chuck had, in his own unique way chiselled away at those walls and was able to thaw the frozen façade of Agent Sarah Walker. Casey saw her and sat down. "He's not hear."
Sarah looked up. "I know he hasn't been here for three months, I get it. Chuck is gone."
Casey looked at her. "I meant Shaw."
Sarah looked away then brought her eyes back towards Casey.
"I miss him too."
Casey placed his hand on hers. "Why didn't you go with him?"
No one had asked her that question, really asked her with no other motive than he was concerned. Sarah looked at him. "This.." As she looked around. "What would Beckman say if I told her that I was going with Chuck."
"He did have a say in his new team, that he could have anyone."
"I know."
Casey waited and then tore off the band aid. "You still have feelings for him, don't you?"
Sarah never answered.
"When he came back from Prague, I asked him what went wrong, and he told me that he had to fix it, so I am assuming the lemon screwed up again but then things were okay with you too but again."
Sarah looked at him. "Don't remind me. He chose Hannah.
"And you chose."
"Not one of my greatest choices."
"So what happened in Prague?"
Sarah had never told Casey but she knew he had some idea that something bug had happened. Sarah decided to come clean. "When Chuck had got word that he was heading to Prague we had started to see each other, really see each other."
Casey never flinched.
"We haven't well, you know but we were in a good place. I was tired fighting how I felt so I asked him to run away with me. I was willing to give up all of this. We planned to leave once he arrived in Prague and we would live off the grid for awhile till they stopped looking for us. And he was on board, he went to Prague and we planned to meet but when he arrived at the train station he chose to stay. I was hurt but he wanted to see where the 2.0 could take him. I shouldn't have blamed him because that was what we were supposed to do. We were supposed to turn him into a spy and anything else didn't matter. So he went and I went on other missions, till he came back and I saw him at El Bucho. And the rest is a horrible history."
"Then Hannah, Shaw?"
"He wasn't mine to have."
Casey saw her whole body tremble. The stoic agent was one big pile of goo. He knew she had it bad for him but this was more than that.
"Why didn't you too talk it out?"
"That's all we did was talk but after all the excuses that I could give him he got tired. I gave him no reason to stay, no other choices that involved us. I gave him no other indication how I felt. I lied to him under truth serum. Who does that?"
Casey was surprised that she had come that clean to him. She was that good to even lie to him about what she said to him.
Sarah got up. "Where are you going?"
"I am taking some time off."
"You don't have any days left."
"Well I do now."
Casey smiled a grunt and watched Sarah grab her things. She had no reason to be in Castle, for the time being. She headed up the back stairs and Casey smiled again as he heard the door slam shut.
Sarah headed back to Maison 23 and grabbed her lap top and logged into her CIA database and started with her hunch. She got as far with her level of clearance and was able to get a location that Chuck had flown to, but that was over three months ago. She did a search and some divine intervention she saw a headline in the local paper. Her Latin wasn't her strongest language she knew but what she read it gave her enough to locate him. She opened another window and booked a flight to Rome. She was able to grab the last flight out that night. Running around her room, grabbing a suit case and tossing items inside. She didn't have much to pack as she still hadn't unpacked her suitcase entirely from Prague. She just added to it and closed it shut. She tossed her gun and her CIA gear into her safe, closing the door and spinning the dial. She grabbed her jacket and headed out. She headed out just about to hail a cab when she looked across the parking lot seeing Casey standing outside his car. He yelled at her. "I figured you needed a ride." Sarah smiled. They drove to LAX. "Walker." Casey paused. "Sarah don't come back till your happy. I didn't like the idea at first of you two together but I rather see you with him than…"
"Thanks Casey."
Next day
Brexton headed into the Europol office which he figured was just the younger sister of Interpol. But it allowed him a bit more freedom and CIA backup much more than he would get from dealing especially with Interpol. But the three did decide to share what they could with each other. Brexton shook hands with the deputy and was quickly led to a conference room. "Agent Carmichael, we have been following your progress and people are talking. We also have word that you have made an impression on miss Angelina Deluca. She's not one to stick around so whatever your doing, please continue."
Chuck had just met her at the mall when the wind took her scarf. He didn't know at the time who she was but she knew him. She was an attractive Italian business woman with brown hair and a gorgeous smile. She was well educated and versed in several languages. She reminded him of the black widow with a tinged of Jill. The Jill he had fallen for back in Stanford. As those in the room continued to talk, they wanted Chuck to get close to her. Chuck looked up. "How close are we talking about?"
The women in the room blushed as his tone was like a warm breath on their skin. Europol Agent Marino looked at Chuck. "Brexton, you figure it out. You're an attractive male and she is a very attractive female." Chuck knew what they wanted but could he just sleep with her. He got up getting his next task and that was to host a party at his villa. Andre looked up and followed Chuck to the set of stairs.
"I'm guessing that you didn't like your next task?"
Chuck looked at Andre. "Brexton is liking the task but I personally am not comfortable with it."
They walked to the car. Andre turned to Chuck. "Remember you're not Chuck here. You are Brexton James Albright."
"I know that but wouldn't you think that Brexton has some morals?"
"When it comes to Brexton, no and that is something that you need to get use to doing. You're a spy now Chuck."
Chuck slipped inside the car. Sarah had said those exact words to him and it killed him. Chuck leaned back as Andre drove through Rome and headed north.
Sarah landed at Leonardo da Vinci international Airport and texted Casey letting him know that she had arrived. She grabbed a cab and headed to her hotel that she had reserved mid flight. The cab driver pulled up to Boutique hotel Campo de' Fiori. The driver grabbed her suitcase as Sarah saw the amount. She paid with an American twenty dollar bill, as she hadn't had time to get some Euro cash. The driver looked at the bill and quickly said thankyou. "Grazie."
Sarah smiled and grabbed her bag as the driver got back inside his cab. Sarah looked up at the historical looking building and rolled her suitcase inside. She unlocked her door. She walked in looking around her room then walked to the patio doors opening them. She grabbed a shower and crashed. As her head hit the pillow, she wondered what the next few days would bring. Was this all a mistake?
That Friday
Chuck followed Giulia around the villa making last minutes changes as Andre did a final security check. The party was to let Rome and surrounding areas know that Brexton James Albright was the man of the hour. Chuck knew that he had to put on the role of a life time and this was not his high school summer performance of the Fiddler on the Roof. This was real life. Giulia hurried him upstairs to change and get ready as she gave last minute instructions to the staff.
Sarah came back to her room over hearing some of the patrons talk about a huge party at the villa of one Brexton James Albright. It was no coincidence that this party was being held and Chuck being in Rome, but she had to see for herself. She had to make sure it was him. She headed to her room and put on one of her dresses she carefully placed in her suitcase and got ready. She grabbed a cab and headed out to Lake Bracciano, not sure what she'd face.
Sarah followed the crowd and was not asked who she was or of she had an invite. She followed the crowd into the back yard and saw the beautifully landscaped villa facing the lake. The sun was slowly setting which added to the beauty of the place. A waiter came by with a tray of champagne, she grabbed one knowing that a bit of liquid courage might go a long way. She walked around looking for one person in particular. Sarah entered the main part of the villa that led to a large common area where a band was playing and people were dancing. She scanned the room and one voice could be heard. A voice that she had learned to love and tune into made her look up. There he was, handsome as ever. But what she saw made her a bit jealous, if she was honest. Sarah watched as Chuck flirted with one particular brunette. Sarah watched as he continued to act on his advances. She leaned in and kissed his cheek then looked up. He returned the kiss and smiled at the other girls that were there especially the one he had just kissed. Brexton stood up and looked across the room and froze. He swallowed deeply then got Andre's attention. Sarah made eye contact with him and they both stared at each other. Now she knew how Chuck felt when he walked in on her with Gilles. The next thing she knew she saw a muscular man approach her. He motions to the side of the room. "Follow me, please."
Sarah figured that he was going to ask her to leave. He opened the door of a room off from the party and led her in. "Wait here."
Sarah walked in and saw that it was a library. She saw that there were a few books open and a few piles of comics on the tables. She attempts to sit down but stands up quickly. Her heart was racing and her palms sweating. 10 minutes later the door opens and the same man enters. Sarah looks up and was about to explain herself when she sees Chuck come in behind him. "I will be fine, she's a friend."
Andre closed the door. Chuck walks in with confidence and he wasn't that lanky guy she knew back in LA. He looked at her and it was killing him to see her. "You found me?" Sarah looked up fighting her emotions. "I did. It was a lot of work but I did."
"So how many rules did you break?" They both smiled.
"I only learned from the best." Chuck's heart skipped a beat. He looked at the door. "The thing you saw earlier."
Sarah shook her head. "You don't have to explain."
"Yeah I do, It's not what you think." Sarah had heard that before.
"She's a person of interest."
"I see."
"Nothing is going on with her." Sarah continued to listen at the same time wondering why he had to explain himself. They weren't a couple anymore.
"Chuck."
He looked up. Each wanting to kiss each other. The door opened. "Mr. Albright, your guests are waiting." He looked at the door and nodded, then looks at Sarah. "I got to go. Your welcome to join the party. I want to talk."
Chuck walked to the door. Sarah watched him return to the party and like she had done many times with him, she had lost another opportunity. She watched him in his role but it was too much. Chuck looked up and saw her leave. He ran after her but was too late as she got into a cab and drove off.