Game Night
Author's note: I used to be a big D&D player back in the day… ah… so many fun times and good memories. But it has been many a year since I last played. Well, my friend Mark, who was also one of my D&D buddies, has gotten back into playing online, and invited me to join a game. Geeze, I mean… I'm in my late fifties, I should be too old for this but… Dang it's fun! I play with several people and of course there are various interactions between the characters as well as the players. Which answers my attempt to write a gaming story as I've been trying to write a roll playing story but always drew a blank. So… I decided to put keyboard to pen or whatever and craft a story about our ongoing adventure. Hope you enjoy.
This is a double story in that the characters have a story, and the players of the character have a story of playing (I've decided to have various X-Women, and others, be those players).
Part1a: In which our adventures suffer a setback
The cast of adventurers:
Balen – Human male fighter. Barbarian to be more specific. A shirtless male barbarian with tattoos, facial hair, and long unshorn locks to be extra specific. Forth level, 41 hit points. Has a long sword, halberd, hand axe, Javelins (3). The phrase "send in the barbarian first" is frequently heard when the company is about to enter a room. Has the ability to go into a rage which gives two attacks per turn (when he remembers to do it that is).
Dashell – Human male druid. Brother of Balen. Forth level, 47 hit points. Armed with club, spear, and crossbow. Tends to be more in the background vs. the exuberant Balen. Usually in the rear.
Catalan – Human female cleric. Forth level. Wearing chainmail and wields a mace (which is a bit of a cliché as don't clerics always have a mace?). 33 hit points.
Paige – Human female Paladin. Fourth level, 40 hit points. Has chainmail, great sword, war hammer, spear, short bow. Tends to team up with Balen on entering rooms (i.e. send in the heavies).
Winsome – Human female Magic User (and the true heroine of this saga as she is this lowly author's character). Forth level. 40 hit points, but is always pointing out "Protect the magic user," (Authors note: Which makes sense because back in the day magic users died like flies, I mean, a first level magic user was lucky to have 3 or 4 hit points. Which meant that the typical contribution was one magic missile and some dagger throwing. But now, armed with cantrips (tiny spells she can use all the time), she's a little terror.) Very much the city girl. Armed with a crossbow and a staff of protection which she is fond of whacking things with, when she's not setting foes on fire that is.
Button – Male Winged Kobold, fighter and a thief. Third level. Only has 12 hit points at this point. Freed by the group from some evil Gnolls and has joined the company.
Cherrel – Female Gnoll (she was raised by elves so is not your usual Gnoll). Alchemist monk. Able to strike with bite, claw, kick. Also has a knife and some muskets (yeah I know, but go talk to the Dungeon Master, so muskets it is). 22 hit points. Likewise freed from the band of evil Gnolls and has joined the company. Oh, and she has boots of jumping.
We see our band of adventurers in the midst of a battle… well at the end of a battle. They are in a large room in the lost dwarf mines of Phandelver (which they found surprisingly easily). They are battling a floating skull, wreathed in green flames. The second of two, the first is now smashed bone fragments upon the floor of the blast furnace chamber. But the second skull is made of sterner stuff as countless attacks by all just keep missing, and missing, and missing as Balen, Winsome, Button, Dashell, Paige, and even Cherrel strive in vane to strike (Catalan was on the other side of the room having helped dispatch the other skull with a smash of her mace).
With a red glow in the eye sockets the skull blasts forth two red beams and kills Balen while cackling in glee! Balen already had prior damage from a fireball unleashed by the other, now destroyed, skull and the damage is just too great.
"Enough of this bullshit!" Cries the Winsome, greatly distressed over her inability to hit with her staff, and unlashes four magic missiles that shatter the hereto resilient skull into bonny bits.
"My Brother!" Wails Dashell as he drops to his knees and cradles the fallen body of Balen. "Slain! Oh Mother my heart nearly bursts with the pain that it falls to me to be the one that must tell you that the youngest of thy bountiful loins (there were twenty seven other brothers an sisters, or to be more specific brothers and one sister in his family). He has fallen as he would have wished, sword in hand…"
"Halberd." Whispers Winsome.
"What?" Mutters Dashell, cut off in mid wail.
"Halberd… he was wielding his halberd when he died." Points out Winsome.
"Oh… yeah… thanks." Mutters Dashell before the bewailing recommenced. "Halberd in hand, valiantly defending his brothers in arms as he…"
"Women." Whispers Winsome again.
"What?" Hisses Dashell, most annoyed at the second interruption of his impromptu elegy.
"Woman… most of us are women." Points out Winsome with what she hopes is a helpful tone. Some people are just… touchy about some things. But really, this was not a sausage party.
Dashell resumed his lament with a glare at Winsome. "… Defending his companions in arms! But now… now he lies dead. The warmth leaves his body, just as his soul has left his mortal frame. Balen my brother! Let the Valkyries guide you to your eternal reward in the feasting halls of Valhalla!"
With that Dashell fell silent and wept for his kin as the most of the other gathered round and paid their respects at the passing ofBalen.
Paige, the Paladin, choose to morn in her own special way which consisted of chasing down and slaughtering the remaining zombies. Oh, did I forget to mention the zombies? Well the two floating skulls had zombies, which did not work out very well as the cleric and the paladin were able to turn the zombies. Now the bugbears in the prior rooms had been much more of a fight but… I digress.
Catalan bowed her head and gave a brief prayer. "May his soul find rest and be at peace. His quest has come to an end."
Cherrel, the female Gnoll asked a question Button. "He was on a quest?"
Button wasn't sure. "First I've heard about it. The only questing I saw was his pursuit of more ale at the inn."
Catalan silenced them, obvious heathens, with a stern glance. "I was speaking metaphorically, um… unless… was he?"
Dashell took this as his cue to resume his wailing. "His quest! To regain that which was lost to our family and renewal the honor of our clan!"
All this... drama was getting on Winsome's nerves as she muttered a "Good to know." And was silent in grief.
Meanwhile Winsome's internal dialog was more like: Sigh… Dear Diary. Damn it, we lost one of the cannon fodder folks, what was his name… Baler? I know it began with a B but I've mostly just been calling him the Barbarian… Yeah… Baler. At least I… I mean we… still have the paladin for going into rooms first. And I guess the druid now? I'm cold and this place smells of aged zombie, rotting ghouls, and wet bugbears with bad hygiene. Just… yuck. Not to mention burnt barbarian. Hmmm… would it be rude to sprinkle a bit of perfume on his corpse? After all, ode de barbarian is so not in fashion, unless you sleep in a yurt that is. Which really is bothersome as they had baths back at the inn we're stayed at, but no… bathing is unhealthy! Or so declared Baler the now dead. Like it would have somehow hurt to wash off the top layers of grime and grease. Well, when my dark plans of dominion have come to be then… it's bath time for everybody. I am so tired of it being stinky so much. Oh, what about his ring of protection? After all he's dead so let's see if… OH GODS! I bet the druid will want us to drag his body back to town. Sigh… what a bother, bet he puts what's his name in a vat of ale to preserve it so he can be shipped back to dear old mom…"
That was when a dark voice, filled with evil mirth, echoed about the chamber.
"CHUMPS…"
Part1b: The Players
"Chumps!" Stated Rocket Raccoon as the figure of the barbarian was tipped over by one of his claws.
It was game night and tonight's players are:
Rocket Raccoon – The dungeon master. It was this or back to a real dungeon so Rocket went with the lesser of two evils. Although he might be beginning to think he picked wrong, at least the grub was better.
Xandra – Current Empress of Shi'ar empire. Perhaps 12 years old. Child of Charles Xavier and Lilandra Neramani (former Empress of Shi'ar). So… half human, half Shi'ar. Hatched from a giant egg in the Rogue and Gambit mini series. Authors note: And of course, like all children of Xavier, rather neglected by daddy. Which is a shame as she really is a sweet kid. Oh, and she's playing the Barbarian and is most distressed at his expiring.
Cal'syee Neramani (Known as Deathbird) - Aunt to the current Shi'ar Empress. Playing the Paladin. Such social events are just not her thing but… she is secretly having a great time as just hanging out with people is not something she'd done much of.
Kate (Kitty) Pryde – Long time gamer, former member of Guardians of the Galaxy and is playing the Druid. Usually wants people to call her Kate now. But this was game night so Kitty was ok.
Danielle Moonstar (Dani) – Part time Valkyrie, occasional gamer. Playing the Cleric.
Izzy Kane (Smasher, imperial guard) – Wife of Same Guthrie (new mutants). Was on guard duty but when more people were needed once two characters were freed from the evil Gnolls the Empress begged her to join the game. She was playing Cherrel the female Gnoll.
Gamora– Guardian of the galaxy and supposedly the most dangerous woman in the galaxy. She is playing Button. She had shown up to rescue Rocket from the dungeon but… and kind of ended up in the dungeon as well. She had been roped into the game when Button joined.
Groot – He was in the next room watching Netflix (the Witcher if you want to know). A backup player from time to time.
Starlord – Had been a bit of a dick about the whole thing so he was still in the dungeon.
Illyana Rasputin – Actual magic user. She's playing Winsome.
The game was taking place in the private quarters of the Empress, one of the more private and cozy family rooms that was meant for only the most private of interactions. There was popcorn (cheddar flavor) pizza, soft drinks, some wine, chocolate (dark of course) and other various candies, gummy bears being one. This had all happened because of reason that are out of scope for the telling of this story (meaning the author does not want to bother coming up with a rational, just go with it) but revolved around having the empress have some more… childish activities.
So… on with the story.
"Chumps?" Groused Kitty at Rocket, who was looking quite smug.
"My barbarian is dead!" Complained Xandra, just like everybody does when your character dies. But with the extra distress of a child.
"Death happens." Said Deathbird with a bit of a shrug as she rolled for hunting down and killing the remaining zombies. Rocket had used gummy bears to represent the zombies and Deathbird was impalling each gummy bear (zombie) with on a tallion on her right hand each time they were killed, then once done she started consuminer her fallen gummy foes one at a time. The two skulls had been Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies and Illyana was busy munching on one while Dani had already consumed the other cookie.
Deathbird continued. "Perhaps if you threaten death to the so called DM, or some punching, he will relent to your imperial will. But that would be inadvisable as casual social interactions do sometimes come with disappointments."
Rocket just gave Deathbird a bit of a sneer while grabbing some Cheetos. As a DM Rocket was used to threats and even worse. Why, one time a player had actually blowup the space ship they w ere on just because of a paticularly bad roll on a savings through.
"Punching does not solve all problems." Declared Kate, trying to sound like the voice of reason.
"So says the person who is currently a pirate?" Observed Gamora. Which was a good point as punching was kind of a thing pirates tended to do.
Illyana, Deathbird, Smasher, Gamora, and Dani all exchanged glances that defiantly did not agree with Kate's declaration. Glances that Kate noticed and subtlety indicated young Xandra with a less then subtle "Ahem…"
Dani got it. "Of course, how right you are." Declared Dani with some false enthusiasm. "How silly of us." As she gave Illyana a nudge.
"Oh… right…" Stated Illyana with a less then enthusiastic delivery, why one might infer she did not believe a word she was saying. "One should always look for a peaceful solution that has favorable outcomes for all involved."
Deathbird, and Smasher, failed to completely hide their eye rolls at this behavior.
Gamora did not play along. "I distinctly recall you punching many things Kitty when you were a member of the Guardians." Plus she refused to call Kitty Kate.
"I am Groot." Was Kate's reply to the accusation, which made Xandra giggle.
"At least the magic user finally did something other then stand in the rear flicking little fireballs about." Said Deathbird with what was the slightest touch of a sneer in her tone. She and Illyana had been poking at each other all night long with mild banter. Another thing Deathbird was secretly enjoying as most people were very much not in the business of engaging with her socially, much less poking fun at her. Of course she did have the reputation of killing those who mocked her but… the girls in this little party were currently on the exception list, and… well… Illyana w as rather on a list all by herself.
Bit of a glare from Illyana at Deathbird. "Ohhh… Tweety you are so busted." Which was continuing her referencing Deathberd as tweety bird. Next you've going to start talking about the bad puddy tat."
A glare returned by Deathbird as she stated with a definite sneer. "Hairless primate."
Dani took a sip of wine as she contemplated the ongoing interactions between Deathbird and Illyana. Yep, those two are hitting it off. Deadly scowls, insults, and a fondness for discussing their kills. Bet they end up best buds before the night is out. Concluded Dani.
Kitty asked Gamora a question while Illyana and Deathbird continued their banter. "Aren't you guys on the run?"
A bit of a glare from Gamora at Rocket. "Yes… any ideas as to why Rocket?"
Rocket was his usual dismissive self when caught. "Oh… so it's my fault now."
Gamoria most accurately pointed out that. "It is your fault."
"Pffff." Was Rocket's response as he consumed more Cheetos, and being a very close approximation of a raccoon little bits went flying as he liked to chew with his moth open. A act that Deathbird corrected by grabbing him by his snoot and lower jaw, one talon on her hand, close to his eye, with a gummy bear still attached as Deatbird said just one word as she reminded him about table manners.
"Respect."
"Yeah… yeah… sorry." Was Rocket's mumbled reply.
Hmmm, Kitty noticed that Illyana and Deathbird were back to issuing threats to each other. Which XXX (the kid) thought was great fun.
"My claws can cut through metal." Was Deathbird's smug statement.
"Oh… scared. I bath in molten sulfur after I kill" Was Illyana's comeback. "Anytime, anywhere birdy."
A whisper from Kitty to Dani. "Are they planning a fight, or just flirting."
"Flirting." Was Gamora's whispered conclusion. Of course Gamora had odd ideas about flirting so you might want to take that under advisement.
But… there was the issue of the dead Barbarian. Some head scratching, and a minor food fight later, it was concluded that the Cleric would have cast the XXXX canthrup that would have caught the Barbarian at the cusp of death. Who then make three death savings throws in a row so… zero hit points which the Paladin then cured by via a laying of hands that gave him back 10 hit points.
"YEAH!" Was the exuberant xXXX has her character had not died while she danced about the room with glee and exuberance.
Part1c: In which our adventures almost suffer a setback
"My brother lives!" Cried out Dashell. "Thou wounded unto death the Gods have granted a reprieve from the fate that awaits us all!"
Good thought Winsome at the rescue of the Barbarian from death, we need somebody to go in first. After all, that's what cannon fodder is for.
Part1cd: In the beginning…
So… how did all this begin? It began in the back of a cart that was carrying mining supplies as WInsom, who was lying down on some sacks of flour, watched the clouds.