Emeralds, Icebergs and Fulgurite: A Harry Potter Fanfiction
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its associated characters: all rights belong to JK Rowling. I do not own any crossover references used in the story: all rights belong to their original creators. I do own any OC spells explained at the end of a chapter.
Plot: When the Ministry of Morons chose to turn the one with the power to save them into a pariah, they had no idea of the consequences of their actions. Then, someone made the very stupid mistake of sending Dementors after the Chosen One. Titanic? Meet Iceberg.
Author's Note: So, weirdly, this one just sort of…came to me.
Nothing else really to say, except the usual.
Don't like, don't read.
Recommended Reads: Apex and Silver King by JustBored21, Harry Potter, Dark Legacy by The Fallen One 2012, Who Dares Wins by OlegGunnarsson, Broken Shackles by Black Infinity 1289, The Rise of the Last Potter by HPfanfictioner66, Harry Potter and the Potter Grimoire by IamZerokun, Breaking Point by Carrots123, An Old and New World by Lens of Sanity, Slytherin advice by Tomas9777, Phoenix Insurgent by BolshevikMuppet99, Reclaiming the House of Black by Fairywm, Harry Potter and the Daft Morons by Sinyk and Dragon Chronicles 1: Muggle-Raised Champion and Dragon Chronicles 2: Harry Potter, Dragon Whisperer by Stargon1
Key Pairing: Harry/TBD; Neville/Ginny;
Other Pairings: To be determined
Normal Speech
'Thoughts'
/Parseltongue/
Chapter 1: Trial By Fire
Harry was calm…
Too calm!
It didn't matter if it was the younger Weasleys, Hermione or even Kreacher the House Elf, or if it was Sirius, Remus, members of the Order of the Phoenix or even Mr Weasley himself, each and every one of them noticed this most of all about the Boy-Who-Lived.
Given it was the day of his trial in the Wizengamot, the calmness both worried and intrigued pretty much each and every one of them, all of whom saw Harry, dressed in a brand-new set of dress robes, his face, body and even his glasses clean and pristine as he waited for the sign that it was time to go to the Ministry.
Even when Mr Weasley told him it was time, the calm teenager didn't show any signs of outward emotion as he left with the redhead.
Once they were gone, Sirius looked to Remus before he asked, "Should we be worried?"
"For whom?" asked Remus, both of them sharing a secret smile as they waited for whatever may happen, should either Harry or Arthur – or, ideally, both of them – return from the Ministry.
Emerald
"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to go in with you, now, Harry; don't worry, you've done nothing wrong…as the Muggles say: truth will out."
Harry didn't seem to react to Mr Weasley's air of anticipation, nor did he give any outward sign that he'd heard him; instead, the young wizard left his chaperone standing in the hallway as he walked into Courtroom One – having just found out about the change in venue, and yet, he still didn't seem fazed by it – and into the proverbial lions' den.
Mind you, had anyone asked him, Harry might have said that a den of hyenas or a nest of vultures would be more-appropriate.
Emerald
Walking to the centre of the courtroom, Harry eyed the chair that had been left for him with a cool, cavalier air about him; it was rickety, worn out and seemed to be equipped with chains and restraints, which Harry guessed would spring to life as soon as he sat down in it.
Such a pity he had no such thoughts or plans about letting them trap him; instead, Harry walked past the chair before, turning to face the court full of witches and wizards, he folded his arms and drew himself to his full height, putting on an air of confidence, strength and pride as he waited for their unintelligible conversations to die down. In the meantime, he let his eyes flicker across the faces and looks of many of the people in the court, including, but not limited to Cornelius Fudge – who seemed to be half-annoyed and half-unnerved by how calm and confident Harry looked – as well as Lucius Malfoy – who actually looked curious by Harry's stature and his apparent patience.
Out of all the smartly-dressed witches and wizards present, however, there was one whom caught Harry's eyes most of all, if only because of the fact that she was dressed in an absurdly-bright, almost-fluorescent, pink cardigan – and not the dress robes of the council known as the Wizengamot, yet nobody seemed willing, if not eager to call her out on it – and was looking at Harry with a very sickening, malicious smile, while her overinflated ego seemed to match her rounded, bulbous appearance, which made Harry think of a pink toad looking at a particularly juicy fly.
As soon as he saw the woman, and the smile, Harry got a dark feeling in the pit of his belly, which he barely managed to keep from showing on his face, even as Fudge finally brought the court to order with the bang of his gavel.
"Esteemed witches and wizards of the Wizengamot: we are here for the duty of this trial for Breach of the Restriction of Underage Sorcery, dated 12th August 1995; present in company are Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister for Magic, as well as all attendees summoned or invited. Also present is the accused, who has waived the right to Veritaserum, and…"
"Objection."
As they all looked down at Harry, who was still standing on the floor with that cool, cavalier, but also confident air about him, the emerald-eyed scion saw Fudge bluster and scowl before he continued, "…and has also waived his right to a public defender…"
"Objection."
"…therefore, we shall proceed…"
"OI, YOU CORRUPT TWAT! I BELIEVE I SAID OBJECTION!"
Now, even Fudge was silent as he glared daggers at Harry, who was looking back at the honourable Minister with a raised eyebrow and nothing else, though the fact he'd not only raised his voice, but also accused the Minister and insulted him was not something that could be ignored.
"Very well, boy!" spat Fudge, his eyes boring into Harry's skull as he asked, "What do you have to say?"
"First," said Harry, apparently returning to his cool demeanour as he explained in a surprisingly-apathetic tone, "Not only have I not waived the right to Veritaserum, aka truth serum, as the Muggles might call it, you and yours have not offered me such a thing. Second, not only have I not waived the right to have someone representing me; again, you never offered it. And thirdly, given I have been in the Ministry building for the past 32 minutes now, I find it unusual that my chaperone and I only learned of a change in time and place when there were ten minutes to go! Finally, given the fact there were only ten minutes to go, I find it oddly-convenient that nobody was around to offer us an emergency access route to this honourable courtroom, so that I could arrive on time!"
"Yes, well, word was…"
"Point of order?"
Even Harry turned his head to see a caramel-blonde-haired lady, with several grey streaks here and there, and hawk-like brown eyes that fixed on Harry as she raised her wand, earning a panicked look from Fudge and – to Harry's curiosity – the pink toad in the room, the lesser of whom had to clear his throat and take a few deep breaths before he addressed the speaker.
"Yes, Madam Bones?"
"I believe, with court in session, the correct title to be used for one in my position is Director Bones, Minister," said the woman, earning a faint flicker of a smile from Harry.
He liked this woman straight away – and her name…Bones: as in Susan Bones of Hufflepuff?
Making a mental note to ask about that, Harry listened as the Bones Lady looked back to Harry before she asked, "Just to clarify, Lord Potter…"
"Hem-hem!"
And, just like that, Harry decided instantly that he did not like the pink toad, whose interruption seemed to be met with a shiver so intense, the whole room might as well have screamed Voldemort's name, only to react to it just as quickly. At least, this was true of the Bones woman, who glared icy daggers at the pink toad before she addressed her with clenched teeth and a strained demeanour.
"Yes, Senior Undersecretary Umbridge?"
"Excuse me, Madam Bones…" replied the toad, her voice almost as sickly-sweet as her falsified smile; she could have actually made sour sweets seem as normal and preferable as chocolate with how her voice gave you shudders and set your teeth on edge. "But it sounded like, for a moment, you were recognising this…boy as…as a member of our nation's noble ranks? Is it not enough we have to put up with his silly delusions of war and ghosts and murder? Now you must insult our legacy and that of the Ministry by claiming a mere boy can be considered one of us?"
"Well, actually…"
"She is right," said Harry, earning surprised looks from everyone, including Fudge and Umbridge and the Bones woman, while Harry, drawing himself to his full height once more, cleared his throat as he stared right into the eyes of the toad, now wearing a cold, Cheshire Cat-like smile of his own as he leered at her.
It was time they all learned why he was so calm in the first place – and then it would be time to deal with Sirius and Remus' laughter when they learned the secret of Harry's apathy.
"You see, Madam Umbridge…"
"I am the Senior Undersecretary…"
"Bully for you," drawled Harry, earning a furious look from the toad, who actually seemed to swell up like a bullfrog, as Harry continued, "Now, as I was saying, Madam Umbridge and Mr Fudge; as Director Bones said quite clearly, I am Lord Harrison James Potter, Harry to my friends, but I digress. Despite the lovely Madam Umbridge's claims to the contrary, my delusions have reaped several rewards for me, including, but not limited to, learning that, due to my unwilling participation in the Triwizard Tournament in the 1994-95 school year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I am, magically-speaking, recognised as an adult in our fair and noble world."
The sarcasm was evident to everyone who heard it, even as Harry turned on his heel and paced the floor, his voice carrying through the chamber as he continued in a clear, proud and confident voice.
"My unwitting, unknowing – at the time – emancipated minor status came about when my name emerged from the Goblet of Fire, in the early days of a contest that was supposed to be for students who were of age…meaning adults in our world. But, as many of you fine ladies and gentlemen know, all thanks to the insect Rita Skeeter, I not only competed and was named a Champion, but I struggled and endured so much, despite all the hearsay, negativity and that little bug's desire to undermine and belittle me in the eyes of people who, funnily enough, for thirteen years prior, were calling me hero, saviour, golden boy and basically falling over themselves to be around me…people, honourable Minister Fudge…like you!"
A few heads looked to Fudge, who suddenly looked like a fish out of water, while Harry smiled with a mocking air about him as he asked, "Or is it normal for the Minister to meet a thirteen-year-old boy at the Leaky Cauldron, pay for his school things and ensure he is safely escorted to the train station in magically-altered vehicles, all because of another band of falsehoods and a case of Accidental Magic?"
"That's not…"
"And is it normal, Director Bones, ma'am?" asked Harry, now turning to face the Bones woman, who was looking at him as though she was seeing him for the first time, as he asked her, "For the Ministry to allow…oh, I don't know…a Dementor's Kiss on not one, but two so-called criminals without first offering trials and getting answers? And yet, here we are, with another apparent criminal getting a trial and not a Dementor's Kiss: what happened? Your balls fell off with your failed assassination attempt in Little Whinging, so you decided just cause and protocol had to do?"
"You will be silent!" snapped Umbridge, but Harry was anything but.
"And, now that I think about it, I did a little homework…I know, according to Mr Malfoy's good friend, Snivellus Snape, I don't know what homework is because I'm so arrogant, spoilt and just like my Father, may he rest in peace. But, anyway, I did do my homework and, it's the funniest thing: apparently, in the case of Muggle-borns and Muggle-raised students like yours truly, the Trace only applies breaches if the Muggles in question are not already aware of magic's existence."
Now, even Bones was looking at Fudge, who seemed to be challenging Vernon Dursley for how purple his face could go as he snarled through clenched teeth, "Laws can be changed if necessary!"
"So, you not only leave your ivory tower for little old me; now you willingly proclaim you'll change the laws to spite little old me, Minister?" asked Harry, keeping himself at his full height while he continued, "I wonder how the war heroes, Lily and James Potter, would take that as a response to the sacrifice they performed, so people like you, Madam Umbridge and even Director Bones could be sitting here today!"
"ENOUGH! I WILL HAVE ORDER!"
"Chicken Chow Mein with Fried Rice, thanks," drawled Harry, earning a soft round of titters from those who knew what he'd just done.
Sadly, Umbridge wasn't among them, "What?"
"You said you will have my order, right, Umbridge?" asked Harry, offering the pink toad a sly wink before he hummed softly, "Also, if you can indulge me for a moment, madam: your voice sounds oddly familiar…sort of like the Howler I received informing me of my expulsion back at Number Four, Privet Drive in the first place…but, according to that Howler, I was contacted by Mafalda Hopkirk, not Madam Umbridge."
"You…that…no…this isn't…you're not…"
Shrugging ruefully, Harry left Umbridge to flounder on her lily pad as he continued, "Back to my points, however: as Lord Potter, I am well within my rights to use my wand outside of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, especially in life-threatening circumstances, not that you'd believe what I have to say about that, right, Fudge? I mean, let's face it: you were willing to take the word of the so-called reformed Death Eater, Snivellus Snape, over your hero about his godfather's innocence…yes, I know all about Sirius' true relationship with me."
Again, Bones now had a microscope fixed on Fudge, while the man was left floundering like his amphibious ass-kisser, while Harry went on, "Also, seeing as how my cousin, son of my aunt, sister to my Mother, Merlin bless her, was more than aware of my status as a wizard, as the constant Harry Hunting games, bars on the window and cupboard under the stairs, not to mention the now-broken-record number of times he and his loving Muggle family called me things like freak, monster and other such blights on my parents, war heroes' memories. Therefore, I don't know whether or not the noble, not to mention neutral Minister decided to change the law to help my would-be assassin, but, in the meantime, there was no breach of the Restriction for Underage Sorcery…so…in a nutshell…why are we all still sitting, and, in my case, standing here?"
"YOU ARE A LIAR! A FREAK! A MURDERER! A MONSTER WHO DESERVES TO BE PUT DOWN!"
"Aurors, restrain Madam Umbridge immediately!" demanded Director Bones, but as Fudge went to open his mouth, Bones seemed to go into a mode that Harry guessed proved why she was in such a high position of authority. "In light of what Lord Potter has said, I too must wonder how we are here, especially since I would expect Madam Hopkirk to be aware of his emancipated status and the fact that he lives with Muggles who are aware of the existence of our world."
"As I'm sure Headmaster Dumbledore, Rubeus Hagrid and Minerva McGonagall can agree, Director," added Harry, clicking his tongue as he added, "Especially since all three of them did leave me on the doorstep after my parents died destroying Voldemort, which is something I hope we can talk about another time…and, even then, that's if I bother to try because, to be frank, I'm done trying to convince you, or anyone else, of the truth, so…"
Seeing the proud, confident boy become an apparently-resigned spirit surprised Amelia, who just nodded as she looked to the Minister, "I suggest, Cornelius: unless you would like my department to head up an Internal Affairs Investigation into your business with Lord Potter and, if necessary, where Madam Umbridge may also be involved, you will end this farce right now."
"Preferably before…"
"WITNESS FOR THE DEFENCE!"
As a few people jumped at the sudden cry of Dumbledore's voice, Harry groaned as he jerked his thumb at the appearance of the old man.
"Before exactly that happens!"
Emerald
"He got off! He Got Off! He Got Off!"
"All right, guys…"
"He Got Off! He Got Off! He Got Off!"
"Calm down…you don't want me to make a joke about masturbation, do you?"
"He Got Off! He Got Off! He Got…"
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Even Fred and George couldn't believe it when Harry fired off several loud bangs from the end of his wand, much like Dumbledore was known to do, as he silenced their cries of delight and the celebratory cheers and laughter of the rest of the room.
As everyone looked to him, Harry's eyes darkened in their sockets as he heard an expected reply, "HARRY! What do you think…"
BANG!
Hermione soon closed her mouth, but not everyone followed suit, "HARRY JAMES POTTER!"
BANG!
"Next time I use the Oscausi Hex," drawled Harry, earning alarmed looks from Molly and Hermione, while Sirius looked like the cat that ate the canary as Harry, standing at the head of the table, looked around the small, cramped room as he drew in a deep breath before he spoke again.
"Now, for once, you're going to listen, just like the Ministry listened, and I'm going to speak…and, Hermione? Mrs Weasley? Don't think my threat of using that Hex is empty, because it isn't! and, Hermione, before you ask, you above everyone else here should remember I am an adult in the magical world, thanks to four Champions, three tasks, two insane dark wizards and a fiery goblet. Ergo, I am able to use magic outside Hogwarts, much like the Demons of Gryffindor here, and I will use it if necessary!"
"Bloody hell," gasped Ron, who, much like Bones and everyone else in the Ministry, seemed to be looking at Harry like he was seeing him for the first time, even after knowing the guy for four years already.
"So that was why you looked so calm," said Sirius, earning a slow nod from Harry, before Sirius asked, "When did you find out, pup?"
"At the end of last year," said Harry, earning dumbfounded looks from the others as he explained, "I received an interesting parcel in the mail the day after we finished school for the summer. It said that I would take pride in what was inside and, well, given it was a detailed guidebook to magical law and the rights of ascension to full lordship and adulthood, I took to it like…well…like Hermione to the library."
"But you didn't know who…"
"Oscausi," said Harry, casting the spell on Molly, before, as though giving himself an insurance policy, he did the same thing to Hermione, who looked at him in abject disbelief and even rage as Harry scoffed.
"To be fair, I did warn you; now, as I was saying, the book was a gift from someone who claimed they owed me a favour and, whoever it was, though I've got a few guesses, I thank them for the gift. This told me everything I needed to know about being Lord Potter, including some interesting things I learned about the Trace…things a certain I've learned all our spells by hand, and they've all worked for me might have shared with a student raised in the Muggle World three years ago!"
Even Ron was looking at Hermione in betrayal, while said brunette was turning red, or perhaps green, as she glowered at Harry as he continued in a calm voice, "Therefore, despite what you all saw since I got here, I did have a plan and, for once, I didn't even need Dumbledore to pull my ass out of the fire. So, what he was doing there in the first place, especially since Fudge also seemed to delude himself into thinking I'd waived my rights, I'll never know! Fortunately, some nice lady named Bones was in my corner…or at least appeared to be willing to give me a chance to get a word in edgewise."
"Amelia Bones?" asked Tonks, earning a slow nod from Harry, before she explained, "She's my boss, and Shack's too: she was also Alastor's student before becoming Director of the DMLE, which is sort of like being the Commissioner of the Police, or a step-down from Prime Minister and President…Vice-President, I guess you could say."
"If she's in your corner, that's a real feather in your cap, Lord Potter," agreed Shacklebolt, earning a small smile from Harry.
"She also has a niece at Hogwarts: Susan Bones, remember her, Harry?" asked Ron.
"Vaguely," admitted Harry, before he cleared his throat as he continued, "Anyway, now I don't have to hide my true status, or my knowledge, I've got a few more things I have to say and, for once, as I said before, you're all going to listen, especially you two!"
He pointed to Molly, who, even silenced, looked ready to deliver a human Howler to Harry, though not before Arthur put a hand on her, shaking his head warningly, as though realising the severity of challenging this Harry James Potter. He also indicated Hermione, who seemed to be looking both outraged and in a state of disbelief, almost as though she couldn't believe that Harry could be anything less than the boy who'd needed her help so much over the past four years.
Harry, meanwhile, lowered his hand as he continued, "First and foremost, Molly: let me make it absolutely clear! You are not and, unless I actually decide to show interest or pursue a romantic relationship with Ginny or one of your boys, if I even swing that way, you will never be my Mother, so please, for all our sakes, especially your daughter's, stop trying to be!"
While even Ron and the Twins seemed to agree with Harry's argument, Ginny blushed softly, earning a small smile from Harry as he explained, "I don't mean that as a threat, Ginny; I know you've got your eyes on…someone else and, even as an honorary brother, I approve. You bring out a side of this person that we all deserve to see, them especially. Besides, not to embarrass you or nothing, but you two make a cute couple."
"You…you really think so?" asked Ginny, blushing softly again, while Harry smiled and nodded.
"But, if he hurts you, remind him you've got six older brothers, one of whom is honorary and heir to the Marauders and has taken on all kinds of monsters, so if he breaks my little sister's heart, he'll be in Trouble…and that's trouble with a capital T!" exclaimed Harry, earning cheers of agreement and support from the Twins, though not before both of them looked from Harry to Sirius and Remus.
Suddenly, the Twins had an epiphany; one they decided to share with their benefactor of a little brother when he was done laying it into the ones he had in his sights.
In the meantime, Harry continued, "My point is, we heard you when you called me as good as your son, which is why I gladly consider the others my elder brothers and little sister. As someone who has never known family love or kindness, I hope you can accept what that means to me, but, as for being my Mother, or even a replacement for her, which I seriously hope you never even dare to try and be, you cannot…you will never be that! And, if I must, I will use the debt owed to me by your family to make you see that…because, after all, a life-debt is open-ended and has no limits on what I can ask, so it's your choice, Molly; accept it or risk losing…everything!"
Molly moved…but this time, Arthur literally pinned her to her seat, his eyes filled with warning and fire as he hissed, "If you even touch that boy, I will revoke all claims you have to our name, Molly! You will be as persona non grata with our family as…as Percy!"
If anything was going to cause Molly to deflate, it was that!
As she slumped in her seat, Harry drew in a breath as he looked now to the Order, "Next, I want to talk to you concerning…"
"HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHERE ARE YOU? YOU'VE GOT SOME SERIOUS EXPLAINING TO DO, YOUNG MAN!"
As everyone turned to the door, just in time to see Albus Dumbledore storm into the kitchen, accompanied by a smug-looking Snape and even a shocked-looking McGonagall, Harry scoffed and ran a hand over his face as he looked into the furious eyes of the Headmaster.
"So…to be honest, after all these years, I've got to ask it: do you make a habit of interrupting where you're neither needed nor wanted, Headmaster, or is it just my sheer dumb luck?"
As Dumbledore blanched at Harry's confident tone, the emerald-eyed scion then smiled like the Cheshire Cat once again as he looked to Snape.
"On the other hand, I never thought I'd say this, but, for once, I am so happy to see you, Snivellus: we need to have a nice little chat about your future…and the repayments of debts owed, namely your life…to me!"
Yikes, talk about a big opening: Harry's laid down the law, shown everyone he is not to be underestimated anymore and, now, he seems to be going in all guns blazing, but who is next to find themselves in his crosshairs?
Also, who could this benefactor be that opened the floodgates to his future and, with Umbridge in trouble and Fudge hanging on by a thread, what will this mean for the year ahead?
Keep Reading to Find Out
Next Chapter: Harry makes damn sure that a fourteen-year-long and longer hatred is finally laid to rest…or else! Also, Albus Dumbledore himself faces the sleeping dragon tickled as Lord Potter tells him what is going to happen now: trust me, old man: you're really not going to like it;
Please Read and Review
AN: Portrayal
Amelia Bones: Emily Blunt