It was a peaceful evening in Madagascar, which most of its residents were grateful for, given all the recent insanity, especially the War of the Beasts, which was still fresh in everyone's minds. While the night was still very much bustling with activity, thanks to the many nocturnal critters native to the island, all of King Julien's subjects were soundly asleep.
Ever since the lemurs "delayed" the freaks' voyage back to New York, the larger mammals had been stuck on Madagascar for three weeks now and acting as the kingdom's protectors against the fossa. King Julien had done his best to make their stay as pleasant as possible (and hopefully convince them to stay here forever in the process), partially out of altruism, but also thanks to his bad conscience. And we don't just mean Maurice, who would never let him hear the end of it.
But King Julien had indeed been trying his best to make the freaks happy, while also trying to convince himself that what he did to them wasn't that awful, by using all his connections and kingly resources to renovate a large cave into a five-star megafauna hotel, with its own staff of lemurs. Of course, the freaks were none the wiser about the real reason behind their delayed voyage, and the lemurs intended to keep it that way (even if some, such as Maurice, were still visibly racked with immense guilt).
The penguins, meanwhile, have not been seen ever since they left to "secure the perimeter" and capture their dolphin archnemesis, whom Skipper had deemed responsible for drilling the hole into the highjacked ship that resulted in all its remaining fuel being spilled into the ocean. While most thought that the penguins were off their rocker and that this "Dr. Blowhole" was just a figment of Skipper's paranoid psyche, Julien gladly endorsed it. It gave him a scapegoat and it made the penguins go AWOL, much to the king's delight, for he did not like the jerky penguins, especially the bossy one.
Two of the New York Giants, Alex the lion and Marty the zebra were currently strolling on the beach, neither feeling particularly tired, and soaking in the beautiful night scenery.
"Alex, I'm still sorry that I got us into this mess." Marty sighed.
"Marty, I told you a million times already, we're cool and I don't blame ya." Alex reassured him as they walked across the soft sand and listened to the crashing waves. "Me and the others should have been more considerate instead of snubbing your hopes and dreams as we did."
"Yeah, but I know ya miss the zoo and all your adoring fans."
"Yeah, I really do." Alex admitted but then smiled. "But it's not all bad."
He grabbed the zebra in a chokehold and gave him a friendly noogie. "We're still together and as long as I have my best friends, it doesn't matter where I am."
Back at their hotel, Gloria was wearing her sleeping mask and snoring loudly, while the chimps were dressed in bathrobes and playing chess at a nearby poker table.
"I do believe that's…checkmate!" Mason announced his victory.
Phill frowned at him and did some hand gestures, which made his friend gasp.
"Egad!" Mason scolded him. "Do you groom your mother with those filthy hands?"
Melman wasn't far away, trying to read a magazine in his bed but kept being pestered by buzzing mosquitos, which made him worry about his health.
He grabbed a nearby can of bug spray (somehow, with his hooves?) and tried spraying the biting insects, but found it to be empty.
"Ugh…dang it. It's empty?" the giraffe lamented and threw the can into a large pile of empty spray cans, before getting out of bed on his stilt-like legs. "I need to ask King Julien for a new crate of pesticide before we all die from malaria!"
After moving through the jungle and constantly ducking his head from all the thick foliage that was threatening to entangle itself around his neck, Melman finally found the royal hut high up in a tree and peeked through the window, making out King Julien's form in the darkness, who was sleeping like a baby.
"Psst…King Julien?" the giraffe tried to wake him. "King Julien?"
King Julien was woken up from his kingly slumber, not by the long-necked hypochondriac, but by the sound of all the torches in his hut lighting up on their own and the feeling of someone holding on to him. And that someone was sobbing softly against his neck.
Still groggy and with his blood running cold, Julien tentatively looked over his shoulder and saw…
"Karl?!" Julien yelped at the sobbing fanaloka, who was cuddling with him.
"Yowsie!"
"Melman?!" Julien noticed the giraffe, who sported a mortified expression and slowly backed away.
"Oh…wow…well? I…I can see that I walked in at a… inopportune time?" Melman blushed and chuckled nervously. "I'm so, SO sorry, your majesty."
"What?" the king grew beyond flustered. "No! No! This TOTALLY is not what it looks like!"
"No, don't worry, I'll show myself out." Melman said hastily and ran off. "Toodles!"
"No, come back! This isn't…" Julien yelled in desperation before grumbling to himself and jerking away from the crying villain, standing up on his bed and dusting himself.
"What the hell, Karl!" the ringtail yelled. "What are you doing here! In my bed! For the millionth time!"
The fanaloka just kneeled up and continued weeping, his eyes half-closed, puffy and tears pouring down from them.
"Eh…and why are you weeping like a little girly girl?" Julien asked in a calmer tone before scowling. "And what are you doing here? I thought you were done with trying to destroy me and retired to that "Florida" place with your stupid hissing cockroach pet?"
Karl just sobbed harder and held up a matchbox in his paws.
Julien's face fell. "Eh…a matchbox? Very cool, in a totally not-cool way that is, but that does not answer my question! Speak up!"
Karl tried to say something, but it came out as unintelligible gibberish while he gargled his own tears.
Julien was growing increasingly frustrated. "Ugh! Enough with the bawling like a baby, Karl! The king asked you a question and he demands an answer!"
Suddenly, Maurice, Mort and Timo busted in. "King Julien, what happened! Is it the fossa?!" the aye-aye asked in concern.
"Ah-ha! I knew my new and improved silent alarm would work without a hitch!" the streaked tenrec exclaimed joyfully, which was followed by an involuntary snort.
"Karl?!" Maurice blurted, recognizing the intruder instantly.
"Yes, it's stupid old Karl." Julien walked up to them and huffed, "It hasn't even been two months since we got rid of him. I knew that weirdo couldn't resist me for long."
"Karl, what are you doing back here, didn't ya retire?" Maurice asked the fanaloka pensively.
"If you wish to hurt King Julien, you have another thing coming, buster!" Mort jumped up on the bed and raised his fists. "Put up your dukes!"
"Cha….cha…" Karl sobbed and held the matchbox up.
Julien snapped his head back and made an exaggerated groan, before turning to his advisor.
"Mo-Mo, you speak "blubbering crybaby", don't ya? Can you please translate this for me?"
"Excuse me?" Maurice said indignantly. "I am not that emotional!"
"Guys, what are we gonna do about him?" Timo asked while pointing at Karl, who was now slouched over and sobbing harder than ever while clutching the matchbox like it was the most precious thing in the universe.
"I dunno! He is refusing to talk!" Julien said in annoyance. "So not cool, Karl! Ugh…if only there was a way to know what was going on in that evil genius brain of his?"
"May I be of assistance?" Masikura manifested in front of Julien, hanging by her tail.
"Ah, yes! Masikura!" Julien smiled. "Can you please use your tongue thingy to peep into this weirdo's mind and see why he's moping instead of monologuing?
The chameleon shrugged. "I've never looked into the mind of a diabolical mastermind, this will be a new experience."
She shot her tongue out and it stuck to Karl's forehead, making his eyes bug out wildly.
Intrigued, Julien grabbed her tongue, as did Maurice. The two, along with Masikura, found themselves inside one of Karl's recent memories.
"Where are we?" Maurice asked.
"Uhhh…lavish?" Julien looked impressed. "For a total loser, he sure has great taste in décor?"
They were in what appeared to be an abandoned human fishing hut, which Karl had obviously renovated into a stylish villain lair, or more precisely, just a fancy retirement home.
"Oh, Chancy!" they heard the fanaloka calling happily as he opened the door, carrying a cupcake.
"You simply must meet the locals, such pleasant individuals." Karl walked past them. "Especially that Roger chap. I still can't fathom how he can make cupcakes this delicious, and with such tiny arms no less?"
"Chauncey?" he called again after getting no response, and suddenly, the scene took on a more sinister hue.
"Chauncey?" Karl asked again, his tone growing uneasy. "Come on, Chauncey? I am not in the mood for hide and seek?"
They all heard a low chuckle and saw a second, taller and buffer fanaloka with a man-bun come out of the shadows, with his hands behind his back and flanked by two brutish-looking gophers, one wearing an eye-patch, the other had big, bushy eyebrows.
"Bruce?" Julien recognized him.
"Bruce?!" Karl was startled and dropped his cupcake. "What are you doing here?" he growled. "How did you find me?"
"Harsh, bro." Bruce pretended to be offended. "Can't a dude come and pay his baby brother a visit?"
"Aww…how sweet of him?" Julien noted. "I thought he'd be more upset about me and Karl destroying his poo-coffee empire and leaving him to live in squalor?"
Maurice and Masikura facepalmed.
"Don't play games with me! Why are you here? And…" a realization seemed to hit Karl. "Where's Chauncey! What have you imbeciles done with him!"
"Chauncey?" Bruce scratched his chin. "You mean your little roach pet?"
"He's my friend, Bruce! Where is he! Because, so help if you-"
"Oh, yeah? Now I remember?" Bruce chuckled and pulled out his other arm. "Guess I should be more careful about where I step?"
Karl's eyes widened as Bruce opened his paw and dropped Chauncey's crushed, mangled body, which fell to the floor in slow motion and hit it with a tiny thud.
"CHAUNCEY!" Karl cried and rushed to kneel down and scoop up the cockroach's body. "Chauncey! Please, speak to me! You can't be-"
The crass laughter of his brother and his goons cut him off. "Crying over a bug? I told ya he was a total drama queen!" Bruce elbowed the gophers.
"Yeah, a sissy liddle tenderfoot!" the eye-patched one agreed.
"He ain't manly like us at all!" the other one laughed.
"How could you do this!" Karl glared at his brother with hot tears. "You knew Chauncey was-"
"-the only "person" who mattered to you? Yes, I did. And that was the point behind me squashing him, little man." Bruce gave him an evil smile.
"You needed to be taught some respect, Karl. I thought about tracking you down and simply kicking your scrawny ass, but then I thought….nah, you're used to that, so I stepped on your precious little roachie instead."
Karl could do nothing but stare at him and whimper, while streams poured down from his eyes.
"Oh, yeah!' Bruce boasted and shot two finger guns at his little brother. "You mess with the Bruce, you get flattened like a bug!"
And as a final insult, Bruce grabbed Karl by the head and shoved it against his buttocks as the former let one rip. But Karl was too grief-stricken to even register the flatulence and just stood there, kneeling and holding Chauncey's body, while Bruce laughed and gestured for his rodent goons to follow him.
"Let's blow this dump, boys. I have a sexy little mink heiress to woo so I can use her vast fortune to start rebuilding my poo-coffee empire. Smell ya later, little browski!"
Their crass laughter echoed across the hut as they disappeared into the shadows, while Karl cradled Chauncey's body and sobbed uncontrollably.
"Dear Frank?" was all a horrified Maurice could say before they were snapped back to reality.
"Oh my…" Masikura didn't know what to say, but Julien snickered and whispered to Maurice.
"Wait, that's it? Crying over a bug?"
"Your majesty…" Maurice tried to hush him.
"I mean, sheesh. I don't like Bruce either, but the fratbro fanaloka ain't wrong about Karl being a total drama queen? I oughta know."
"King Julien, don't you see? Karl lost the only friend he had and has come back to seek consolation?"
"Consolation?" Julien asked incredulously. "What? I'm supposed to comfort him over a stinkin' bug? And besides, we're enemies, remember?"
"Former enemies…" they finally heard Karl speak as he wiped his nose, his smooth baritone sounding unnaturally hoarse from the excessive crying.
"I am a man of my word, you bested me…" he sniffed, his usual unbridled confidence gone, replaced with meekness and fear "…thanks to your boundless genius. I had to keep my promise, as it was the only honorable thing to do."
"Then why are you here interrupting the kingly beauty sleep?" King Julien said harshly, making the fanaloka wilt. "Instead of…I dunno? Hunting down Bruce to get payback and avenge your creepy crawly lapbug?"
"King Julien, revenge is never the answer." Maurice told him sagely but was tuned out.
"I can't…" Karl's voice cracked and he started sobbing again. " I can't face him! I'm nothing without my beloved Chauncey!"
Maurice was getting teary-eyed and rushed in to give the fanaloka a hug. "Come here, ya big lug! I know what you're going through!" the aye-aye also started sobbing and Karl hugged him back.
"There were several times I thought King Julien was gone for good and I didn't know what to do without my best friend! It hurts beyond belief!"
"I know!" Karl bawled.
"Maurice!" King Julien said indignantly. "How dare you compare me to a cockroach?"
"I think he's meaning to say that he knows what it's like to lose your best friend?" Timo meekly told him, followed by a snort.
"There, there." Masikura appeared on Karl's back, as he and Maurice continued crying on each other's shoulder, and patted it. "He's in a better place now, in Frankri-La. You'll be reunited someday."
"And we'll be here for you." Maurice let go and wiped his tears. "For as long as you need us. That's a promise!"
"Wait. Wait. Time out!" Julien ran up to them. "Eh…what's this talking about "For as long as you need us"?"
Karl sniffed. "I…I didn't know where else to go? I have no friends, my parents don't care for me. You, my former arch-foe, were the only person I could think of?"
"Well, when you put it like that?" Julien paused to ponder. "Your sad little life does sound very sad and little? And very depressing?"
"Yes, that's why I came back to Madagascar seeking your-"
"And you did. And now that you've spilled your heart out to me-"
"Well, technically, we looked into his mind." Masikura corrected him.
"Either way, now that we've talked about your roach getting squashed like a bug by your mean ol'brother, you'll be on your way, right?" Julien gestured at the door. "Shoo shoo. Hop to it. So everyone can go back to their sleep."
Karl looked at him despondently, with big googly eyes, shedding tears and whimpering.
"King Julien, Karl just experienced an unimaginable loss." Maurice spoke up. "We can't just kick 'im to the curb like chopped live, he needs shoulders to cry on. Have a heart?"
"Ewww…" Julien winced. "I do not wish to have his salty tears soiling my soft and beautiful fur."
"Well, I agree with my king!" Mort spoke up and poked the meek fanaloka in the chest. "You deserve all the bad things that happened to you! And herpes too!"
"I gotta side with Maurice, King Julien?" Timo said timidly. "It just doesn't sound right to kick someone when they're down and at their wit's end. Not that I'm implying anything about my own lonely, miserable existence. No, sirree!"
"Indeed, casting him out in the cold would seem very heartless, given the circumstances." Masikura concurred.
"But did you all forget how this creep has tried to end the king's life on countless occasions?" Julien shot back. "For all we know, this is just another over-complicated plan of his to finish me off? That cockroach could be waiting to spring a trap-"
"Impossible." Masikura shook her head. "You cannot fake memories, or such raw emotions of grief."
"And I brought Chauncey with me?" Karl stammered tearfully as he held up the matchbox.
"Uhhh! Can I touch its lifeless, mangled corpse?" Mort tried to take a peek but Karl jerked it back and barred his teeth with a low growl.
"King Julien?" Karl looked at the ringtail pleadingly. "I know I've done you wrong, but if nothing else, could you please let me bury my friend here, the same place he was hatched in? Madagascar?"
Julien wasn't sure what to say, but seeing all the pleading looks from his friends, he caved in.
"Fine, you have my permission, Karl." Julien reluctantly obliged.
By the crack of dawn, Karl had tearfully buried Chauncey's coffin into the soil under a rotting log (the favorite home of the latter's kind) and added a tiny tombstone to the tiny grave, before standing there and leaning on his shovel as he watched his best friend's final resting place, and continued to shed tears.
And as a final insult, as if Frank himself was mocking Karl for his loss, heavy rain started pouring, but the fanaloka seemed completely oblivious to it. He just stood there, unflinching and closed his eyes.
Unsurprisingly, the death of a cockroach hadn't attracted much of a crowd. In fact, the only other people present were Julien, Maurice and Mort, who had come to keep an eye on Karl and make sure he wasn't up to something.
Maurice was holding an umbrella made from palm leaves to shield himself and his king from the rain, while Mort just let himself be drenched, also seemingly oblivious about the rain.
Julien watched Karl like a hawk but the fanaloka didn't make a single move and just stood there with his back turned on them, and unsurprisingly, Julien was starting to get bored.
"What are we supposed to do now?" he whispered to Maurice. "He's…just standing there? Like a furry statue?"
"He's grieving, King Julien." Maurice said sullenly. "We can't rush this. Such things need time to heal, starting with lotsa mourning."
"But it's a bug, man." Julien whined. "He's acting like he suffered some great, tear-jerking tragedy?"
"He did." Maurice said firmly. "What does it matter if it's a bug or a lemur? Losing someone close to you is the same. Remember when I fell down that pit and ya thought I was dead? And when your parents…eh…let's be charitable and say ditched you when we were kids?"
"And everyone else thought they were dead." The aye-aye grumbled under his breath.
Julien's annoyed expression faltered and he felt a swell of pity for the fanaloka. He hated feeling pity for people he didn't like! Sure, he didn't outright hate Karl, since being a hater was not the KJ way but he still felt a very strong dislike for him, and for good reason.
"And you and I were both devastated when Clover left to be the queen of the mountain lemurs." Maurice reminded him. "She might be alive and kicking but she's no longer a part of our daily lives."
Oh, he just had to go there! That last one reopened a fresh wound, making King Julien cringe emotionally. He had to use every ounce of his kingly willpower not to start weeping again.
"Alright, enough with the guilt-tripping, Mo-Mo! I get the picture!" Julien snapped at his advisor before groaning and rubbing his forehead.
"Okay, so hypothetically speaking, if Karl really is that torn up over his cockroach pe…eh…friend's death, just what the heck am I supposed to do about it? I might be a super-awesome and heroic king but I can't bring back the dead?"
"We could still lend 'im emotional support?" Maurice suggested. "I know he tried to destroy us a dozen times or so, but he did say that he was over that, and has done nothing to suggest that he's flaking on his promise, so I don't see why we can't at least try to be nice to 'im while he's mourning?"
"Fine, let's get this over with." A peeved Julien stepped ahead and Maurice hastily followed to keep him under the umbrella.
"Yo, Karl?" Julien addressed him but the fanaloka only responded with a lethargic glance over his shoulder.
Julien almost felt insulted by the gesture, being used to Karl's undivided attention, coupled with grandiose and melodramatic speeches about what a powerful and brilliant adversary the king was to the devious fanaloka.
"Now that you've…eh…paid your last respects to your pe-friend, your bestest buggy friend, what are you planning to do now?"
"I don't know…" Karl gave a weak shrug. "Jumping off a cliff might be a suitable option?"
Maurice's eyes widened in horror.
It took Julien a few seconds to realize the implication behind that statement, then he had the same reaction.
"Oh, that's a great idea." Mort smiled creepily. "That way, you and Chauncey will be reunited in Frankri-La asap!"
"Actually, I don't believe in an afterlife…" Karl said lamely.
"Wow! Wow! Easy there, Karl." Julien spoke up. "Things can't be that bad?"
"I have literally nothing to live for." Karl said in a bleak tone. "I lost our legendary feud, I have no friends, my family hates me, my old home was left in shambles by my final scheme, and I failed to achieve my goal of being recognized as the greatest mind in Madagascar, because that distinguished honor belongs to you, King Julien. And now I lost Chauncey. Might as well end my insignificant existence."
"King Julien?" Maurice grabbed his king by the shoulder and whispered. "We gotta do something? We gotta help 'im while he's an emotional wreck before he goes and does something from which there is no return?"
"Ugh! Fine!" Julien gave in. "If you're wishing to have my attention again this badly, Karl, you could have just asked? No need to be saying such messed-up things, man!"
Maurice cleared his throat. "What King Julien is trying to say…" he gave the king a scolding look, who rolled his eyes in return.
"Maybe ya just need some time to think things through? Get some rest? Figure out what to do next? And we would be more than happy to lend ya support until you're back on your feet?"
"Nah, he should definitely jump off a cliff." Mort crossed his arms.
"Eh...yeah, what Maurice said." Julien continued. "We happen to have a free hut? I know one lemur couple went to Doctor S to get a cure for their tummy ache and…" he grew uncomfortable "…well, we have a free hut now. You can crash there. If basking in my kingly awesomeness will help you get over yourself and not do any crazy things you'd surely regret, then you have my permission for…what was that word again, Maurice?"
"Asylum, to grant someone asylum."
"Yes, yes, that thing."
"I…thank you, King Julien." Karl said simply, sounding neither happy or sad. He just sounded…hollow.
"Yeah, yeah…" Julien took a step back and pulled Maurice with him.
"Just don't read too much into this. We might not "technically" be enemies anymore, but you are not my friend, so don't you go all "clingy high school weirdo" on me again, kay?"
"I wouldn't dream of it…" Karl sighed and hung his head. "I just wish for some solitude."
"Works for me." Julien shrugged, happy to know his act of generosity wouldn't lead to more Karl in his daily life.
Karl arched an eyebrow. "By the way, where's Clover? You four are usually inseparable and I was expecting her to be all over and pummeling me by now? Not that I would care."
His question made Julien and Maurice tear up.
Meanwhile, at the cavern hotel, the six zoo animals were having their morning tea, sitting around a circular table. Once the lemur staff had left, the gossiping was on.
"I'm telling you, guys. He was cuddling with a ferret in bed. A male ferret." Melman gave them a wink. "But you did not hear this from me."
"Hmmm…well, in hindsight, it was kinda obvious, wasn't it?" Marty said.
"I figured it the moment he popped out of a cake in that crazy hula girl outfit with pom-poms during our "Sorry You're Stuck Here" party." Gloria nodded.
"Yeah, he was giving off all the signals from the get-go." Alex chuckled before hastily adding. "Not that there's anything wrong with that. Again, very open-minded feline."
"I say, I hope he didn't have to deal with judgmental family members." Mason shook his head. "I mean, you saw his parents at the last party? I don't wish to jump to conclusions, but they sure struck me as very condescending and conservative chaps."
The others all nodded in agreement.
"You're right. I mean, that ferret was sobbing and Julien seemed to be comforting him." Melman recounted sadly. "The poor guy probably told his family about his relationship with Julien and they did not take it well?"
"Yeah, and Julien's mom literally struck me with a glove, and pretty hard at that, while also calling me an "unwashed mule" just for saying "Sup" to her?" Marty remembered and shuddered. "Poor KJ, I would not wish to be in his skin right now. Why do old folk always have to be so stifling, man?"
I think we can all agree that Karl was a great villain; suave, charismatic, chewing the scenery at every turn, had an awesome voice, who was also surprisingly sympathetic and made a great foil for King Julien. And like a lot of cartoon villains, he appeals to many people due to being a misunderstood genius who is always undone partially by his own ego and need for self-validation, and partially by the world never giving him a freaking break. Like with a lot of things at the end of the final season, his departure felt pretty forced and wasn't a very satisfying final confrontation with Julien, again, due to the whole "prequelitis" thing, but on the upside, it did negate me having to waste time on manufacturing a reason for Karl to stop threatening Julien because his last canon appearance pretty much did the job for me. Now that they technically aren't at odd anymore, what does the future hold for them? No slash romance, I can assure you that XD Though it will be alluded to and satirized in this story XD
Given his shitty lot in life (which was especially emphasized in "Revenge of the Prom") Chauncey seemed to have been a living emotional crutch for the fanaloka with a fragile ego, so what would happen if he lost his beloved cockroach? Short answer, he'd be a broken man. And Bruce (who along with Karl is pretty much the personification of the "virgin vs chad" meme XD) is probably the most despicable character ever introduced in AHKJ. To reiterate, he's a crass fratboy asshole, he's a big brother bully, he (was) a filthy rich corrupt corporate executive who relished aggressive expansion while crushing his competition without mercy, and of course, he is a womanizing sexist (fortunately, he revealed that fact in front of Clover XD). I've seen other people playing around with the idea of Bruce seeking vengeance by killing Chauncey but nobody really did anything meaningful with that idea, so I incorporated it as the catalyst for getting Karl back to Madagascar.