Prologue

001

When I first awoke in the Velvet Room, I was perplexed. I shouldn't be here. Some time ago (that makes it sound like it was only yesterday but in reality it could have been years ago. My internal clock in there had waned so it's hard to say), I had sacrificed my life.

For the world.

For my friends.

For everyone.

Right now, I should be in the Great Seal watching over the world as time moves on without a care. I should be unable to move a single muscle; the only thing I could ever do was think. I should be guarding everybody, because that is what I died and lived for.

That's why I couldn't be here. That's why I shouldn't be here.

But here I am anyway.

And that gave me a little hope.

I am aware of the troubles Elizabeth had gone through to try to get me out of the Great Seal. One day, I heard the distant sounds of a ghastly cry. Of course, this came from none other than Erebus, the personification of humanity's grief. Being in the Great Seal long enough has made me very familiar with the constant screams of Erebus. That's why I had become scared. It was a very different scream than the one I had become accustomed to. Erebus was screaming because somebody had inflicted pain on it. Somebody was fighting Erebus, again. Even all of S.E.E.S had scarcely managed to win, so I could only hope for this person or group's survival.

Yet, the next second, Erebus had finally entered my field of vision—flying through the air from my right to left, quickly leaving my field of vision, and a loud noise was made from Erebus crashing into something (though what exactly he crashed into is a mystery on its own).

"—"

I didn't say anything. Well, I couldn't say anything. But if I could, I still wouldn't say anything, I would just stare with wide eyes. That's how shocked I was.

But it all made sense when someone else entered my field of vision. A woman with platinum blonde hair and a blue dress slowly made her way to me.

Of course, that was certainly something only someone like her could pull off.

Elizabeth…

And we… talked? Naturally, I didn't say anything but that didn't seem to stop Elizabeth from basically talking to herself. Whenever she would ask me a question, she would always pause as if I was really answering, then say something like, "Ooh! Is that so? Coincidentally, I seem to share the same opinion!"

This continued for what I'd guess to be two hours; adding into my time spent as the Great Seal. But those two hours were different from the rest. Elizabeth had managed to make my time here pleasurable, even if I couldn't interact with her.

As we talked, I could feel Elizabeth's golden eyes brimming with intent of informing me of something with great significance—her eyes were practically shaking with excitement—but she never said anything. That was until we got to the final part of our little chat.

"I will save you," is what she had said to me.

Immediately, I knew what she meant.

I wanted to tell her to stop.

It's useless.

I can't leave the Seal.

I knew I would be trapped in here for eternity but I did it anyway so please stop.

I am afraid of what might happen if I were to leave.

But, in the back of my head, I hoped she was successful.

Completely contradictory. But those were my true feelings.

Then, as she finally started to leave, she dropped the biggest bombshell yet.

"Erebus collided with the moon, if that's what you're wondering," she announced as if it were no big deal.

…

She read my mind.

How it got to the moon, I have no idea. We're in the Sea of Souls not outer space.

Anyways, like I'd said, I have hope.

And—in front of me, keeping itself above the chair Igor usually sits on, is a blue butterfly (both Igor and Elizabeth are nowhere in the room. How strange). To say the least, in front of the blue butterfly, I felt weak. Thoroughly, entirely, and perfectly weak. It's like playing a video game only to realize that my opponent is 50 levels ahead of me—yes, that's how it feels. Right now, I'm an ant standing in front of an elephant; if I say anything unnecessary or stupid, I might just get stomped on—I'll melt.

A few minutes in silence pass by.

I kept quiet. A deep breath. Once. Twice. Thrice.

"Welcome to the Velvet Room," the butterfly finally spoke. It seems it had been waiting for me to regain all of my senses. It's gentle voice was attempting to take the stress and anxiety out of my system, when it really only did the opposite.

Wait.

…A butterfly spoke. All butterflies have is their proboscis, but is that really enough to offer a complete sentence? I don't know. It throws me off but doesn't necessarily agitate me. The Velvet Room is weird like that.

"Welcome. It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Philemon, a dweller in the rift between consciousness and unconsciousness of all souls. And now, a simple test. Can you state your name?"

"…XXXXXX," I weakly said.

"Splendid. There aren't many people who can remember their identity, especially for someone with your circumstances. Now—" He continues talking. The more he continued to speak, the more comfortable he got, the result being authority and power emanating from his voice, betraying his small appearance.

But I don't listen.

I don't care what he has to say to me.

It's not what I want to hear.

It has nothing to do with me.

It's all extraneous to me.

Nonsense—that's what this all is.

I don't care who you are.

I just want to know one thing.

One simple thing really.

Why am I in the Velvet Room?

''They're dead—your friends."

That's all my ears pick up.

...

Immediately—throat. My throat tightens and dries up.

Water. I need water.

Blue. Blue everywhere. Associated with water. Associated with—

Hot. I feel hot everywhere. Yet I'm completely frozen. Still. I can't move. I don't want to move. Frozen where? I am in the Velvet Room. No. No, no, no, I'm still in the Great Seal. That's right. Dead. Protecting everyone. Junpei, Yukari, Akihiko, Mitsuru, Fuuka, Koromaru, Ken, Aigis; Kenji, Hidetoshi, Bunkichi and Mitsuko, Kazushi, Chihiro, Toriumi, Keisuke, Rio, Saori, Yuko, Maiko, Bebe, Tanaka, Mutatsu, Mamoru, Nozomi.

That's right.

Nightmare, a bad dream, that's what I'm experiencing.

They're still safe.

Dammit—I really need some water.

Close my eyes. Yes. I'll close my eyes and I'll be back in the Seal. Peaceful—because I know they're safe. I did all of that, so I know they're safe. Safe—because I died to become the Seal to protect them. My purpose as the Great Seal.

Ah, I've become so tired.

That's why I will close my eyes—

Don't worry. I'll always be by your side, protecting you…

Strangely enough, I think back to those words and—

…

……

………

…At once, all of it hits me.

"A—— ah——"

"I apologize for my bluntness. But there really is no better way of saying it. No matter what I said, it would still present the same message, wouldn't it? No use beating around the bush either, right? Sorry sorry, I'm getting off track. Anyways, it is exactly as you heard. But allow me to tell you one thing. You are not at fault."

Please shut up.

"They ceased to be due to an unrelated foe winning an unrelated battle. That's all it was. Again—it is not your fault."

Please shut the fuck up.

"You no longer protect anything. Your act as the Great Seal is unnecessary. So I'll do you a favor…"

I don't want to listen to your parade of bullshit.

"I'll allow a traversal of worlds. A world where Shadow, Tartarus, Erebus, Nyx, and the Dark Hour are just a set of words."

It's all my fault. Couldn't protect them.

Tears build up. My vision softens, and all I see is blue. Velvet blue.

"Ahh——"

He gives a light chuckle, "A single one of your tears, they have enough power to make this possible. Don't worry, I'll make you fit right in."

You'll look your age, he added.

Read the room, dammit. I don't care.

Shut up.

…It's just a butterfly.

I could just stomp on it.

And it would be dead.

A simple sto—

"Then, let's get started, shall we?"

Before I couldn't even raise my leg.

A cold, freezing feeling rose in my chest. Specifically, my heart.

Quickly, it started to expand. The agonizing feeling of it spreading to every nook and cranny of my body made me stop dead.

I forced the tears building up back into my eyes. A single action—would kill me. Philemon said it wouldn't kill me, but right now my brain is overflowing with the words I'm going to die.

I really thought it was the end for me.

I wanted to scream. Like—Erebus. I had become jealous of it. I wanted to scream because of the dreadful pain. I wanted to scream because I deserved to cry. I wanted to scream because I had been bereft of meaning.

Ah, how useless I've been my entire life.

That's why—these last seconds, I was afraid of dying—no, that's wrong. I was afraid of dying without purpose.

That's right.

I couldn't do anything on the 4th of October.

Unable to do anything against the director of Gekkoukan High, leading to the death of Takeharu Kirijo—all my fault that Ikutsuki's actions were overlooked.

Junpei was right. I'm the reason for all of that. It's only natural that because the problem stems from me, it would be me who fixes it. And—it was me who fixed the problem, but I had help from other people. Other people, who taught me how to live. Other people, who had given me a purpose. These precious people were my friends.

And I couldn't even protect them.

That's right.

My entire life, I hadn't moved past the number zero.

Shit…

…

…Dammit.

…Really, dammit all! I'm so sorry! Not like this! I don't want to die like this!

But I couldn't even cry.

Because all of my body—had been frozen.

The velvet blue gone—me gone.

002

The sky. The infinite deep, blue sky.

Sitting on some field of grass, I stared up at the sky, the clouds moving along without a care.

"Hah… Hahahahaha."

I began to laugh. What else is there for me to do other than laugh?

I mean, think about it. All of it would make for an amazing funny story. A comical situation.

At the age of six, I had watched my parents die right in front of me, a few moments later I had the manifestation of Death trapped inside of me, in turn becoming apathetic and isolating myself from everyone, a decade later return to the same city where my parents died, discover that I have the power to fight monsters known as Shadows with the Wild Card, join the team S.E.E.S and go through thick and thin with them, learn that an entity, Nyx, is trying to cause the Fall, sacrifice myself to in order to protect the world I that learned to love and live in, only to realize that everything I did was for nothing—if there were an audience, there is no way they wouldn't laugh.

I'd been stupid for thinking that it was going to end well.

A level of stupidity so high that it was funny.

Let's chalk it up.

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will. Maybe all your friends die only when your single purpose is to protect them.

And eventually, I stopped laughing. I'd been so stuck up with what happened that I completely forgot about the most important part: what now?

Now? I mean, I'm in a completely different world now, right? Trying to adapt to this world doesn't seem so bad. I could become a different person with a different name with a different background and different personality. A new world means it most likely follows different principles so I'll have to get used to those. Though learning a new language seems pretty bothersome. Ah, whatever. I'll just have to—no.

I would be completely whitewashing the truth.

It'd be like trying to question what one plus one is. The outcome is obvious.

I know my truth. My audience, too, knows my truth.

And so.

My one plus one is—

"To die. I have to die."

I really had to die.

Because what was the point?

To repeat myself, I had been deprived of purpose—no, everything. So, naturally, death comes next. I mean, I'm supposed to be dead anyways, so there is nothing wrong with suicide, right?

And so, I had no choice but death—the only path available to take.

But.

And yet.

Even though I have no right to decide—I wanted to die my own way.

I don't want to drown myself until all the blood in me is replaced by water. Not stabbing myself through the chest until I bleed out, either. Simply starving myself until I rot away—that too won't work.

If I want to die, I'll die the way I want to die. Like…that.

Yeah. Like that.

Okay.

Alright.

That's my goal.

I don't care if it's selfishness.

At least this. Let me have this.

So whatever happens in this new world, I'll die.

No matter what happens, who I'll meet, what I'll do, I will simply meet my end.

Beginning a new journey, I stood up.

Dying for the third time in my life—

I walked.

003

"No, No! You've got it all wrong! It's 'Paimon'. Pai-mon!"

"Pay…mon."

She puts up her arms and makes an "x" with them. "Not 'pay', 'pai'!"

Dammit. Saying a simple name shouldn't be so hard, but here I am, struggling to do that exact thing.

Ever since—I'd been exploring the world. I say "exploring" but in reality I don't think I have gone and walked more than a mile from where I spawned (going too far might get me lost). Though, I guess it was nice—walking around and experiencing a new world.

That was until a noise came. From my stomach. Oh, I thought, that's right. Being caught up with a new world has made me forget the basics of being a human.

For a week, I had been starving. Sure, no matter where I go boars and foxes seem to be common but hunting with my bare hands is an overall stupid plan so it's never been put into action (traps aren't an option either since I don't have any knowledge on them). After saying how I'm going to die the way I want to die—how embarrassing, I thought.

But conveniently enough—as if the world was telling me no, not yet—near a pond, I found a fishing rod. Since then, I've been fishing, well, fish. It's been like this everyday for the past two months: rely on my circadian rhythm to wake me up, fish, prepare the fish I caught, eat, and sleep (by the way, I have been living in a small cavern since the day I spawned here. Naturally, it wasn't comfortable but it's not something I couldn't handle).

Of course, I didn't plan on staying like this forever. I'm just going at my own pace. Right now, interacting with people seems undesirable.

So today, going fishing, I didn't expect to catch anything other than a fish.

—Ten minutes ago, I caught something.

And it wasn't a fish.

For a few seconds she was choking out the water, then said, "T-thank you!" still trying to take some water out of her system. "I-if you hadn't saved me, Paimon would have really drowned."

Again, it hit me.

Oh, that's right.

New world, new principles, new language.

I could have simply nodded and that would've been the end of it. But sooner or later, I would be forced into learning language to interact with others.

So, the sooner the better, right?

So, I'll have to get started here. It would be the smartest option, I think.

"T-t-than… yu…?"

I sounded like an idiot.

"Huh?"

"Savv… me…"

"Hey, don't tell me…"

"…"

"You can't speak the common Teyvat language?!"

We've been at it since then, until I finally managed to get her name right, which she rewarded me by nodding like a squirrel.

Now came the important part.

Me.

She points both her fingers towards me and asks, "Your name?"

Saying your name after someone says their name is only natural, which is why even though I don't know the language I understood what she was saying (her pointing at me only indicates it further).

But more importantly—my name. The thing assigned to me at birth. By my parents. Who are dead.

Belonging to someone who couldn't protect anything. A name with nothing but shame, stupidity, and disappointment.

The only thing left of me.

I don't want it.

Why?

Because it is me. Nobody needs me. Not him, not her, not them, not it, not you, not we, not—me.

But I'll need a name.

So I'll choose—a name so close it might as well be me.

A name not filled with foolishness but the night.

The night that I held so close.

The night and death I took on.

He was an amazing person—really.

"Mochizuki Ryoji."

Oh! Is he from Inazuma? I hear her murmur. "Well, again, the name is Paimon! Nice to meet you!"

I had no idea what she said.

004

Let me talk about her.

Paimon.

With white hair, she wears a white jumper, white stockings, and white boots; all with rose-gold embroidery, shapes, and patterns; a dark-blue cape spotted with stars; topping it all off is a crown floating above her head as if it were a halo.

And with a small body (being at most one-third of my height) she floats like a fairy.

Floats like a fairy.

Floats.

Like a fairy.

When I first saved her from drowning in that lake, I hadn't noticed. That's because, reeling her in, she immediately hit the ground (which, by the way, looked like it hurt. I already apologized for it but I still feel quite bad) and she stayed on the floor—until after our introductions.

My reaction went like this.

—Start of flashback.

"Oh," I freaked out.

—End of flashback.

In a way, Paimon lucked out. If I were Junpei—or anyone for that matter, with the exceptions of Shinjiro and Aigis—my freak out would've been heard by the whole world. Junpei would go, Woah! The hell is that thing?! and Akihiko would respond with, You don't think it's a Shadow, do you?! while he equips his gloves, which would make Mitsuru say, C-calm down! It may not be hostile, obviously trying to remain calm—but they're dead.

Hm.

Anyways, back to Paimon.

Her personality is somewhat reminiscent of Elizabeth. She is super outgoing and super friendly too.

I guess you could say she is the photonegative of me in both personalities and looks.

Though, there is also something about her that I hate. She's inflexible; stubborn.

After I freaked out on Paimon, I walked away. She was simply supposed to be an introduction to the language (or at least one of the languages) used in this world. That was supposed to be my first and last time we'd ever interact. But as I walked, I heard a sound behind me. So I turned around.

Paimon was floating behind me—following me.

I ignored it.

Kept walking.

Heard a noise behind me.

Turned around.

She was still following me.

This happened five times until I got irritated and said, "What do you want?"

Of course, I said it in Japanese so she didn't exactly know what I said but she seemed to get the message that I didn't want her around after all that walking.

Her response to this was to point both of her index fingers to herself, slowly point it towards me, then clasp her hands. The look on her eyes saying Let's be companions!

I shook my head and began to walk away.

A few seconds later—a tap on my shoulder.

Paimon. Again.

She repeats her gesture. I repeat mine.

Again, this repeated a total of five times—before I got irritated, again.

So what I tried to do now, is push her (please bear with me. I know it's a stupid thing to do—because she can float—but I was desperate). Then, when I turned to push, she wasn't there. Following this, I felt hands on the back of my head and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground.

The pusher had been pushed.

I underestimated Paimon.

The moment I hit the ground, I gave up.

And like that, me and Paimon became "companions."

You know, she isn't as annoying as I thought she'd be. In fact, she's not annoying at all.

Sure, most of it might be because of the language barrier but she knows how and when to keep her distance. Our only real interactions are when I catch a fish: she always claps to congratulate me, and if the fish I prepared is satisfactory she'll give me a thumbs up. If the fish is more than satisfactory, she'll give me a thumbs up and drool.

Though, there are times when I give her something she dislikes. But she never stops with that amiable smile.

Eventually, we got comfortable with the way things were. That's when Paimon started speaking. She probably got the idea that I was the foreign one and not her. And that's when Paimon became Ms. Paimon. She taught me the common Teyvat language.

Teyvat. That's the world I now reside in.

My impression of it so far is: well, it's definitely not Earth.

It took me 3 months to learn the language. I impressed not only Paimon with that feat but myself as well.

If you're wondering what my first original sentence was, it's—

"Paimon is Emergency Food."

"Hey!"

I couldn't help but poke fun at her.

She has a really small body but that doesn't seem to stop her from eating a whole bunch. She has so much food stored inside her—I thought that if I were in a situation where I've got nothing to eat, I'd just eat her.

…

I should probably avoid thinking like that.

Anyways, those 3 months passed by rapidly.

And now I find myself here.

Staring at the ocean, I find myself sitting on a rock. Of course, Paimon is here with me.

We stayed in comfortable silence until Paimon finally decided to start.

"Paimon hopes you don't mind her asking but… you don't seem to be from here. Like, all of here. Paimon was sure you were from Inazuma but after getting to know you, Paimons not so sure anymore. So, where are you from and…what happened?"

"..."

I don't plan on telling her.

I don't plan on telling anyone.

It's not that I feel uncomfortable saying what happened, or something.

I mean, just think.

If I were to tell anyone what happened and my goal, any normal person would try to comfort me or tell me that I need to go seek help.

I don't need that sort of thing.

Just like when Paimon pushed me and I fell to the floor, I have already given up.

It's cowardly.

I'm sure they would still want me to live.

But I can't.

I have to die.

It's that simple.

"Sorry…"

"No, no, it's completely fine. You don't have to if you don't want to. Paimons just curious. Also," she continues, "you said you had some sort of goal, right?"

I nodded.

"Then, it's decided! Paimon will help you reach your goal while also being your guide!"

Of course, she didn't know what my goal was so I can't help but feel horrible as she said that. I still gave a small smile. "Thank you, Paimon."

"Hehehe," she gives a light laugh.

Getting a head start, she flew ahead.

That's right. My journey starts here.

The prologue done and the end already decided; the middle area being the only uncertain factor. Here and now, I gave one last look at the sky. It was a bright day today.

"Let's get going, Ryoji!" I hear Paimon yell.

I look away from the sun and for a second, all I do is stare at her. I'm guessing it's because of what she's wearing but Paimon glared with a bright light. It looked almost holy. And I can't help but think Maybe Paimon will be the only constant of this journey.

So, I stood up.

Now going to Paimon's side—thought me.