A/N - I couldn't help myself after watching last night's OC episode. Started as a one shot but will now have 3 chapters. After watching his home videos with Bernie, she pushes him to stop living with regret and to not waste anymore time. He goes back to the storage unit to undig some other memories…what happens next?

Will write part 2 and 3 soon!

Don't forget to drop a review! Means the world when you do! Thank you!

Frozen in time

The memory of you and I

A distant past

Forever in my mind

"Boy, you better learn how to let go of the past, or you're never gonna be free of it."

"I'm working on it."

"You're working on it? There's not a photograph of him around here to show his Grandson for God sake. I know you stuffed all of those photo albums I made in the storage unit. But you know I–I didn't make them just for you. I made them just as much for him."

As he sits here now watching these videos of his childhood, he's overwhelmed. If he's honest, that's been a normal feeling for him in the last decade. But he's been able to swallow it down, ignore it, pretend he's perfectly fine. Lately, it feels harder to do that. Watching his younger self run across the screen, he sees happiness and he knows it was real. There were moments where he laughed, where he felt loved, where he was just that, happy.But underneath the surface, the smiles, the laughs, the days and nights were also filled with silence, and rage, and fear, disappointment. He felt like he'd never feel good enough. He felt like he could never do anything right for his Father, that it was never good enough. Even when he became a cop, he could have sworn he saw disappointment in his Father's eyes. Maybe that was just his imagination or his insecurities, or maybe his Father was afraid for him, he would never know now.

His Father was gone. Had been dead and buried in the ground for what felt like an eternity. There was no way to fix their issues, to ask the questions that had haunted him for his entire life. Life didn't often give you second chances but as he sits here and feels his Mother wrap her arms around him, he knew that he'd been granted just that with his Mother. The tears came and he was too tired to care, she squeezed him and he heard her laugh as she watched the scenes unfold in front of them.

His Mother had her fair share of trauma, but here she stood, still brave, still unwavering in her beliefs, in her love for her family. And he admired her more than anyone for that, she never gave up…just like someone else he knew. His chest rattled and he felt so much all at once. His Mother leaned in and kissed the side of his head, "Life is hard enough Elliot…sometimes you just need to let go. Accept the things you cannot change. I'm not getting any younger…and neither are you."

He sighed and turned his head to look at her, his eyes full of regret, "Mama…"

Shaking her head she whispered, "If you keep it all bottled up…you're going to explode. I watched him do it for years and I'm begging you to just find a balance. You can't be everything for everyone and neglect what you need…"

Holding onto her hands gently he whispered, "Am I like him?"

She knew what he was really asking, "You have the best parts of him…the humor. The need to protect your family. You both would do anything to protect the people you love most."

He chewed his lower lip and asked again, "But am I like him?"

Bernie sighed and smoothed her hand along his cheek, "Honey…your Father had faults. I won't deny that. So did I. There is no man or woman in this world that is without faults. But you are a good man and I am proud of you. And I don't have to have your Father here beside me to know that he is proud of you too. He always was…"

He swallowed hard and looked back at the screen, watching himself running around with his Father's police cap on. Off to the side Joe stood by, a stoic look on his face and yet Elliot swore he saw a hint of a smile. And maybe, just maybe his Mother was right. They sat there for a few more minutes watching before the film cut to black. After a moment, Bernie squeezed his shoulder and whispered, "I bet these aren't the only memories you have hidden in there…"

She knew, because of course she knew. She was his Mother and she knew him better than anyone else. Letting out a shaky breath he whispered, "Mama…"

Squeezing his shoulder again she kissed the back of his head, "Call her honey…don't live with more regrets. And you'll regret it if you let another ten years go to waste…"

He turned his head slowly to look at her and she gave him a soft smile before walking back to her room. He could hear the pitter patter patter of her slippers against the floor. Leaning forward, he closed his laptop and rested his head in his hands. She was right, of course she was right. But it didn't make it any easier.

Regret was a bitch. And Elliot Stabler lived with regret every moment of every day. And most of that regret was tied up in Olivia Benson. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and walked towards the bathroom. Stripping down, he turned the shower on making sure the water was as hot as he possibly could make it. Bracing his arms against the wet tiles, he bent his head and let the water pound down on his head, his back. Closing his eyes, his mind wandered…

"Well as long as you were there when it counted."

But he hadn't been, not for all five of his children's births. Eli had been a surprise from the moment he found out about him until the moment he came barreling into this world. But he'd missed it. So much had been happening at that time. He'd been grappling with his feelings for Kathy, for Olivia, for his future, all of their futures. When he'd gotten the call about the accident his heart had stopped but it hadn't just been Kathy and his unborn child he worried about. It had been Olivia too…

But as usual, she was stronger than all of them combined. He remembered seeing her there, covered in blood, his wife and son's blood. He'd never forget the look on her face, she was happy for him, but underneath it all he saw the sadness, the sadness that matched his own. The realization that whatever they were feeling, had felt for years, they had to put it aside again, and maybe forever.

"How's the baby?"

"Great."

"Pick a name?"

"Kathy wants to name him after me."

"Just what the world needs, another Elliot Stabler."

He knew deep in his heart she had been teasing, it's what they did. But thinking about it now, part of him felt like what she had said was right. And God he hoped his son would become a better man than he was. Did he have a chance though? Was he already so incredibly broken because of his Fathers actions that he had no hope? God he needed to do better, for all of them.

As he climbed out of the shower, he thought back to Christmas, how Olivia had dropped everything once again for his family, for his children. For Eli. How she had risked it all, including her career to save him, all of them. As he got dressed again, he felt that need for her, that pull towards her. So maybe his Mom was right, it was time to let go of the past, but in order to do that, he had to face it first.

It was time to take down that box, the box of all of the things that reminded him of her. That he prayed to God his wife had never found but knew she probably had. Taking a deep breath, he knew what he had to do…

Thirty minutes later he found himself standing in the storage unit for the second time this week. So many memories, piles and piles that together symbolized his life, the good, the bad and the ugly. He knew exactly where it was, buried in the back not because he was ashamed of her, but he was ashamed of himself. Taking a deep breath, he walked towards the wall and pushed aside the boxes keeping it hidden. His heart started pounding when he saw it, there was nothing about it that was different from any of the others unless you knew to look for it.

His eyes landed right on it, the tiny letters in the corner.

EO

Reaching for the box, he pulled it out, leaning forward he blew the dust off the top. Walking towards the middle of the storage unit, he sat down on the concrete floor and pried the top off. Instantly, his mind swarmed with memories, fights, laughter, cases, the tiny moments in between, the unspoken things, the looks, all of it for twelve years. It was real, it was strong, it was undeniable.

Pictures of their time together, candids, more formal ones from events. His favorite, a picture of the two of them with Cragen early on, giving a salute, he could practically hear his boss shouting, "Cut it out you two." As soon as the photo was snapped. The playful laughter, the way she'd leaned into him, her head thrown back, not a care in that world at least for that moment.

Gifts she'd given him, birthdays, Christmas, little things just because she felt like it. A Yankees hat, cards, her handwriting that he knew better than his own. Little notes, Your turn to get coffee Stabler. Throw in a blueberry muffin and I won't annoy you today.

He smiled, little did she know she could never annoy him. That the twelve years they spent together were the best 12 years of his life. That he wished he could have had 12 more. But it all became too much and he had run from his feelings for her and that was his biggest regret. Without realizing it, he had his phone pulled out of his pocket and had dialed her number.

"Hey." As soon as he heard her voice, his shoulders relaxed, "It's late…you okay?"

He grimaced slightly, assuming she wouldn't be able to leave Noah, "Sorry…I wasn't thinking I-"

"It's fine El. I was just about to head home. Still at work." She replied, and he could hear her moving around what he assumed was her office.

"Long night?" He thought back to all of the late nights they'd spent together, more hours with her than his own wife and children.

"They're all long Stabler. You know that more than anyone." She paused and then as usual, read his mind, "Need a friend?"

Tilting his head back he closed his eyes tight and didn't hesitate, "I need you…"

He heard her gasp slightly before whispering, "Tell me where you are…I'll be right there."

Thirty minutes later, he was sitting in the same spot, the box laid out in front of him but a different photo album in his lap. One that his Mother had made. He was looking at himself, a picture he hadn't seen in what felt like a million years. Him dressed as a carrot for the Thanksgiving day Pageant, Bernie had made the costume herself.

"You really were cute as a carrot…" Her voice rang through the small space and he looked up to see her leaning against the wall.

God she was so devastatingly beautiful and she had no idea what she meant to him. But looking at her, more memories washed over him and he knew then that his suspicions had always been right.

"What just happened?"

"Maybe God remembered how cute you were as a carrot."

Taking a deep breath he asked, "You went to see her…"

Olivia sighed, pushed herself off the wall and walked over to sit on a crate across from him. Lowering herself down, she reached for the photo album and placed it in her own lap, "I went to see her…" Smiling down at the picture it felt like it was only yesterday when she had met Bernie in the little cafe, but in reality it was a lifetime ago, "Does that piss you off?"

Lifting his legs, he rested his elbows on his knees and shook his head, "No. Makes me grateful…" She looked up at him quickly, a surprised look on her face, "You were always better than me…"

Frowning, she looked down again and flipped the page, focusing on the pictures of a young Elliot on the page, "That's not true…"

"Yes. It is." He paused and then whispered, "You know me better than anyone Liv…you saw through my bullshit. Weren't afraid to call me out on it. Fought for my family when I was too stubborn to do it myself…"

Letting out a heavy sigh, she leaned back slightly and looked right at him, "I know better than anyone that it's easier to fix other people's problems than it is to fix your own." Closing the photo album, she held it out for him, "Especially when it means you have to fast your past…"

Taking the album from her, he set it to the side and nodded slowly, "Yeah…"

They sat in silence for a few moments because as usual she knew he needed it, time to process. Even if he had had two decades to process most of it, he did things at his own pace. Finally, she leaned forward, bracing herself against her knees and whispered, "What's going on El?"

He smiled sadly and chewed on his lower lip before saying, "Donnoley's wife had the baby…a little boy."

"Well…" She shrugged and answered, "A baby is a blessing…and although I think he's a piece of shit…" Elliot just stared at her and she smiled, "Tell him I said Mazel Tov…"

"You talked to him about me." He said, she just blinked, "He said you said I needed someone to have my back…"

"Was I wrong?" She asked, cocking her head to the side, "Because if you ask me…you need all the help you can get." She smiled, kicking him playfully, "You always have. You're a mess Stabler…"

He laughed and hung his head, "Ain't that the truth."

"To be fair…we're all a mess." She said with a compassionate look, "Some of us just hide it better than others."

Scooting backwards, he rested his back against one of the shelves behind him, "Not sure I hide it well. Or…you've just always been able to read me like a book."

"I'd go with the latter." She said with a smile, "Like you said…I know you better than anyone. Even after ten years apart."

"Ten years…" He whispered, "God…how did I let ten years pass?"

She heard the regret in his voice and though she wished he hadn't, she knew they couldn't change it now, "Elliot…you're here now."

He was quiet again, trying to process his emotions, thinking about exactly what he wanted to say. And again, she waited, it seemed she was always waiting for him to get his shit together. For her sake, he hoped he figured it out sooner rather than later. She deserved that.

"I was with her…" She gave him a strange look and he realized he'd spoken half way through his thought, "Donnelly's wife…I went by the house looking for him and she was in full blown labor. Had to drive her to the hospital myself…"

When he looked up at her again, he knew she was thinking about Eli's birth too. "Was she okay? And the baby?"

"Well they almost had the damn kid in my car but yeah…" He snorted, "They're both okay…or as okay as they can be for having to deal with Frank for the rest of his life."

She smiled and looked down, "Hm."

Another silence filled the space until he was ready to speak again. "What you did that day…"

Shaking her head slowly she whispered his name, "Elliot…"

"You saved them both." His voice cracked as he spoke, "You realize that? For twelve years you saved my ass every single day and then…you were right. When I couldn't be. And you did a better job than I did for the other four…because you're better than me. You've always been better than me."

Shifting towards the end of the crate she reached for him, "Stop saying that…"

"But you are." His voice shook as he spoke, "Olivia, you are stronger, braver, kinder, more compassionate and understanding than anyone I have ever known. And I don't deserve to have you in my life…especially now. After all I've put you through…after all the times I let you down, you shouldn't be here. But you are. You're always right here when I need you and I…" He grabbed her hand on instinct and squeezed, "And I wasn't there for you when you needed me…"

Tears burned in her eyes and she placed her other hand over both of theirs, "But for twelve years you were…every time I needed you. And for the first time in my life…I had someone I could count on. For that…I am grateful."

They sat there, staring at each other, hands clasped, all those thoughts and feelings still left unsaid. But he was tired of hiding. He'd taken out the box, and he was ready to face it, even if she didn't want the same thing. He owed it to her to be honest. Reluctantly, he slipped his hand from between hers and scooted forward again to reach for the box. He saw her eyes follow his movements but he was sure she wouldn't expect what he was about to show her.

Lifting the heavy box, he turned it, his finger beside the small letters. Her eyes dropped to it and he knew she saw it. EO. Her breath caught in her throat as she settled it in her lap, "What's this?"

Clearing his throat he leaned back again and said, "Memories…"

Expecting to find more memories of his childhood, she was more than shocked to see a picture of the two of them on top. A picture she hadn't seen in years. He was watching her and she knew he wanted her to go through the box but suddenly she was afraid of what she would find, what this would mean. As she sorted through the box, she realized it was practically their twelve years of partnership all packed away. Millions of memories flooded her brain and tears welled in her eyes, "Elliot…"

"I kept everything I could." He whispered, "Every picture…every little note. Even the insignificant ones."

She laughed as she picked up a post it, one she had written and remembered well. John's trigger word is Nixon today. Tread lightly…

"This was the day he drew the entire web of Nixon conspiracy theories on the board and Cragen almost fired him." She said with a laugh.

"Fin had only been with us for two months and I really thought he was gonna walk." He replied.

She smiled and her hand landed on something soft, pulling it out she saw a familiar black beanie, "This was yours…"

"And you stole it more often than not." He said with a smile, "In fact I preferred it on you…"

Her cheeks flushed and she smiled, "I got cold…"

"But usually refused to bring your own hat because you said it would ruin your hair." He teased pretending to primp his non-existent hair.

"You're just jealous because I still have mine." She stuck her tongue out at him.

He laughed loudly and ran his hand over his bare head, "Maybe I am…"

Lifting a second frame, she smiled when she saw her favorite picture and one of their first. The two of them and Cragen, "God look how young we were…"

He smiled and leaned in, "Look how much hair I had…"

She laughed harder and traced the outline of her older self, "Little did we know what lay ahead of us…"

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he asked the question that had been haunting him for years, "Would you change any of it?"

She could hear the anxiety in his voice, the fear. She knew he lived with regrets but they all did. She could sit here and say she wished he never left (which was true) but it would only cause them more pain. And as hard as it was to process, in the last year she realized if he had stayed, her life would have turned out very differently. The main thing being that she may never have had Noah. Despite all the trauma, all the pain, Noah was her saving grace. And if he had stayed, she may have waited to see if there was a shot, but she knew now, it never would have happened. Not because he didn't love her, but because his loyalty to his wife was too strong.

It was one of the things she loved about him. His convictions, his strength, his unwavering loyalty to the ones he loved. Taking a breath, she shook her head and whispered, "No. We both ended up exactly where we needed to be El." Slowly, she lowered the photo down into the box again, "There's no point in living with regrets…"

Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and repeated the words his former boss and mentor had said not long ago, "We've all done things that we're not proud of…"

"What?" She had been looking in the box and hadn't heard everything he had said.

He breathed deeply for a few quick moments before lifting his head to her, "Something Cragen said to me recently…we've all done things that we're not proud of."

He could see the shock in her eyes, "You saw Don?"

Cracking his jaw back and forth he nodded, "Went to see him recently…" He gestured across the storage unit, "Needed his help, advice on this little quest of undigging the past…"

Looking up, she saw a picture of a young Elliot and his Father, "Things with your Dad…"

"Donnelly told me a story about how my Dad really got one of his medals…" He whispered.

Leaning back she whispered, "And you wanted to know if Don knew the truth…" He gave a quick nod, "And did he?"

"Said as far as he knew he earned it respectfully." He shrugged, "But…"

"But it still didn't quiet the demons in your mind." She smiled sadly and watched as he kicked at the ground, "You're afraid he was a bad cop…"

"My Father was a lot of things…good and bad. But he gave me that medal and if it wasn't earned…if it wasn't deserved maybe it's a bad omen. And quite frankly I don't need any more of those hanging around me. I make enough fucking mistakes on my own. I don't need to pay for his sins too."

His voice cracked as he spoke and she sighed, "Elliot…you're a good man. A good cop." He wouldn't look at her and she leaned all the way forward, putting her hand on his knee, "Hey…look at me." It took a moment but finally, he lifted his head to look at her, his eyes filled with tears, "You are a good man. One of the best I've ever known. Do you have faults? Yes. But there isn't a man or woman on this Earth without them. I've never questioned your ability as a cop…not once. And Donnelly, Wheatley…" He fidgeted and she held his knee firmly, making sure he held her gaze, "They can say what they want…but the people that matter know the real you. I know the real you."

"You do know the real me." Nervously, he covered her hand with his, "And yet…you're still here."

The corners of her lips turned up in a gentle smile and she whispered, "I'm still here…"

The silence came again, this time a comfortable silence, one that signified their connection. Those moments when nothing needed to be said because they understood each other. But while they were un-digging the past, he figured it was time to sort out the future too, "Liv?" She waited, still smiling at him, his heart leapt in his chest as his fingers caressed her wrist gently, "When I said I love you last year…" He heard her inhale sharply and on instinct, his grip tightened, "I meant I'm in love with you. That I have been…for as long as I've known you."

Her eyes lowered quickly, unable to look him in the eye at this moment though she'd waited over two decades to hear it, "Elliot…"

"You don't have to say anything. I guess…I just want to stop having things left unsaid. I want to go forward without regret." His fingers smoothed across her pulse point again, "And I would sure as hell regret it if I waited any longer to tell you…"

I'm in love with you.

And she was in love with him. Always had been. Yet…the words were caught in her throat. "El I…I just…"

"It's okay." He whispered, and then slowly pushed himself up off the ground, "Like I said, I just didn't want to live with anymore regret."

He moved, leaning over her, he placed a kiss on her forehead. Before she could stop herself, she reached out and grabbed his shirt so he couldn't pull away. His breath tickled her face. Lifting her eyes to his, she saw it. Her fingers pressed into his belly, urging him forward. He didn't hesitate, leaning forward, meeting her halfway. And here in the middle of his storage unit, surrounded by their past and their present, they made a choice for their future.

Their lips met softly, much softer than she ever would have anticipated for their first kiss. In her mind it would always happen in the heat of an argument, maybe a case, but this, this felt right. One of his hands rested on her elbow and urged her up, and together they stood in the small, crowded space. Her hands trembled as she held him by the waist, his second hand gently reached, his fingers holding her chin between his thumb and forefinger. They stayed there, pressed against one another, living in this moment until they both needed air. She pulled back slightly, her eyes blinking up at him, his eyes were still closed but he had a content smile on his face, the first real smile she'd seen in a while. And it gave her hope.

After a brief pause he asked, "Do you need to rush home?"

She had told Lucy she would be home by midnight but it was only past 10 now, and selfishly she wanted and needed a little more time with this man in front of her, "I can stay for a bit…"

His smile grew and he leaned in again, pressing his lips to hers without closing his eyes, "Good."

He pulled away but only so he could lift the box, then turned, resting it on his hip he cocked his head signaling she should follow. Stepping out into the dark night, she watched as he locked up the rest of his unit and then reached for her hand with his free one, threading their fingers together. And for once, everything seemed like it was finally falling into place.

An hour later they were sitting in his living room going through the box, laughing together as they both drank a beer, "God I don't know how we didn't drive Cragen to break his sobriety…now as Captain I really feel like he was a fucking saint."

"And then some." He said with a chuckle as he took a swig of his beer, "We definitely contributed to his balding…"

She smiled and ran her fingers along the top of his head, "What's your excuse?"

He laughed and pushed her hand away, "Just because some of us don't change their hair every year…"

She gasped and playfully nudged him with her knee, "That's just your jealousy talking."

"Maybe." He smirked and reached out and ran his fingers through her hair, "But, just for the record I like your hair right now…though I like it no matter what." He leaned in, his lips dangerously close to hers, "I guess because I like you…"

Pouting playfully, she whispered, "Well that's a downgrade…" He gave her a look, "Not what you said before…"

He smiled, feeling a lightness he hadn't felt in his body for a long time. And he knew it was because of her, she made everything better, she always had, "Oh. Well I do like you…and I also love you. Can't I feel both?"

He was leaning further in which pushed her back on the couch until she was nestled against the large cushions, "Yeah…I guess you can."

His hand reached for her again, his fingers tracing the side of her face before settling on her chin again, "Do you like me?"

She groaned and had to bite down on her lip when he kissed the spot below her ear that made her feel dizzy, "I tolerate you Stabler…"

He laughed and pressed his lips along her neck, "You're a cruel, cruel woman Detective Benson."

"Captain." He stopped, lifting his head to look at her and she smirked, "Captain Benson. Remember?"

Pride filled his chest and he nodded, curling his fingers around the back of her neck as he pulled her closer, "Oh, I remember. I remember everything Liv."

The dim light reflected in his deep blue eyes and her heart rate quickly intensified, "Everything?"

His eyes darted down to her lips again, his breath warm on her cheek, "Everything…"

And then they were kissing again, though there was nothing soft about it this time. Immediately, his tongue traced her lower lip, begging for entrance which she didn't hesitate to allow. She whimpered softly which ignited a growl from him that sent a shiver down her spine. He fell to his side and she turned, her leg lifting towards his lap. His strong hand slid up her thigh and settled on her ass, pulling her up and over him. She gasped but smiled down at him, "What are we doing?"

He sighed and ran his hand up her back, settling on the back of her neck, massaging gently, "I would say we're exploring new and uncharted territory…"

She laughed and ground her hips into him, "New and uncharted territory huh?"

He pushed his hips up slightly and she sighed, feeling the length of him, "Unless I blacked out when it happened…I'm pretty sure that we never made out before Liv."

She laughed, tossing her head back and the sound made his heart soar, "No we definitely never did that…I'd remember if we did."

Leaning in, he kissed the hollow of her throat, "I'm glad. Because I definitely want you to remember this…"

Her eyes fluttered shut and instinctively she ground her hips against his, "Why? Is this a one time thing?"

His grip on her tightened, his hands threading through her hair again so he could look her in the eye, "Hell no…" He smiled, that kind of smile that made her weak, made the heat in her body rise and arousal pool between her legs, "I plan on doing this as often as possible Captain Benson. That okay?"

Her eyes focussed in on his lips and she smiled, "I think that could be arranged…" He leaned in and started kissing her neck again and she sighed, "Though…may be hard to find alone time. A place without interruption."

"We'll figure it out." He said with a laugh, "Because now that I know…"

He bit down hard on her neck and she gasped, "Don't leave a mark El…jesus." She gripped him tighter before asking, "Now that you know what?"

He pulled back, reaching for her so he could hold her face in his hands, "Now that I know what you taste like…" She sighed and he smiled, "At least your lips and your neck…the rest…" His eyes darted lower, "I guess I'll have to wait a bit longer…"

"You will." But it wasn't Olivia's voice that said it.

Both of their heads snapped up, eyes wide as they saw Bernie staring at them with an amused look on her face, "Ma…."

Olivia quickly threw her leg over the side and fell to the couch again, "Hi Bernie…"

She laughed and said, "Hi Olivia…" Turning to her son she sighed, "I'm getting too old for this shit…I take naps there ya know. At least take it to your bedroom."

Olivia snorted and Elliot groaned loudly, "Ma! Jesus Christ…"

Her slippers slid across the floor as she walked over to them, looking down she saw the box sitting on the coffee table in front of them. Reaching in, she took out a picture of the two of them, long before she met Olivia. So much of their partnership she never saw, so many years she'd missed. Regret. But she was here now… "I see you took my advice…"

Olivia looked at Elliot, knowing there was something she was missing. But Elliot reached out and took her hand before squeezing tightly, "I did…"

She smiled, then turned to look at Olivia, "You must be something special because I think I can count on my right hand the number of times he's taken my advice…'

Olivia's cheeks flushed and Elliot answered for her, "She is…"

Nodding slowly Bernie placed the picture down and started to shuffle back down the hall, "You know, I never got to cook for you and your son, Olivia. Not since you both got called to work on Christmas…"

Olivia frowned and felt Elliot's fingers caressing her hand gently, "I'm sorry about that…Noah was disappointed too."

"Well, in that case." She smiled and looked over at the calendar, "Come over on Sunday for Easter. We'll call it a redo. Besides…" She looked at their joined hands and smiled, "I have a feeling it will be the first of many family Holiday dinners…"

Elliot smiled and lifted Olivia's hand, not even caring that his Mother was watching and placed a kiss along her knuckles, "God willing…"

"God willing…" Bernie said with a smile, "I'll see you Sunday Olivia."

"Can I bring anything?" Olivia asked nervously.

"Just yourself, that cute kid of yours and…" She smiled, "Whatever you like to drink. The rest I'll handle." She gave them both a wink and turned back down the hallway, "Now remember, I'm not the only other person in this house. And poor Eli has enough trauma…he doesn't need to walk in on you two going at it like rabbits…"

"Oh my God." Elliot hung his head as Olivia's body shook with laughter, "Goodnight Ma!"

"Goodnight you crazy kids. Don't do anything I wouldn't do…" She opened her door and then mumbled, "And I did a lot of crazy shit in my day…"

Olivia laughed harder, turning into him and he just sat there too stunned to speak, "I hate it here…"

She laughed and pressed her fingers to her cheek, turning his face towards her, "No you don't…" She kissed him softly before whispering, "You're happy you get the chance to spend this time with her because you don't want to live with anymore regret. Right?"

Resting his forehead against hers he sighed, "Right…"

She felt him reaching for her, wanting to pull her back into the same position she had been in before but she pushed him back slowly, "I need to get home…Lucy wasn't planning on staying the night."

He sighed, trying not to look disappointed but he was even though he understood, "Okay."

Her cheeks flushed and she nervously leaned into him, "I'm sorry…"

He smiled, shook his head and kissed both her cheeks, her nose and then her lips, "Don't be…Noah comes first." He pulled back and smiled, "As he should…" His finger traced the slope of her jaw before whispering, "You're an incredible Mom Liv…just like I always knew you would be. And…" Leaning in he kissed her again, "I can't wait to see you and Noah on Sunday…"

She smiled and squeezed his wrist, "You sure it's okay? We don't want to interfere…"

Shaking his head he said, "No. We wanted you here for Christmas…and we want you here now. I want you here."

"Well alright then." She kissed him again and then slowly pushed herself up off the couch, "I have a long day tomorrow…and Noah has a few things on Saturday. But we'll definitely be here on Sunday. Just keep me updated on the time?"

He stood up with her and slowly walked her towards the back door, "Of course."

They walked side by side to the gate as they had done all those months before.

I agree with Bernie, Elliot. I want you to come home.

I intend to.

Before it's too late.

Liv, I'm being careful.

I mean... before Eddie Wagner takes over and Elliot Stabler is nowhere to be found.

This time, when she touched his cheek, she smiled and kissed him, "I'm glad you came home…" She kissed him again before continuing, "Just make sure that Donnelly doesn't get in your head…" Her eyes trailed along his face before settling on his lips, "I meant what I said El." Lifting her eyes again, she made sure he was looking right at her, "You're a good man." Her eyes twinkled in the late night before she leaned in and said, "My man…"He gripped her hips and said, "You really have to go?"

She laughed and pulled back, "Yep. So I guess you'll just have to live with only tasting my lips and my neck…" She pushed him back even farther and whispered seductively, "For now…"

He smirked, and raised an eyebrow, "Oh you're gonna be trouble aren't you Captain Benson?"

She shrugged and walked backwards, "Oh you have no idea. A girl can only be good for so long, Detective…and after 23 years…I think I earned the right to cause a little trouble."

His hand gripped the iron rods as the gate shut, creating a barrier between them, "Goodnight Olivia…"

"Goodnight Elliot." She said with a smile, "I'm glad you called."

"Thank you…for coming when I needed you." He whispered honestly.

As she walked to the car she called back to him, "Always El. Always…"

He stood there until he couldn't see her anymore and then slowly turned to walk back into the house. He saw their forgotten beer bottles on the coffee table and picked them up, resting them against his chest as he reached for the picture of the two of them and Cragen. Walking towards the kitchen, he placed the bottles in the sink before placing the framed photo on the shelf in the kitchen.

"Is that you and Olivia?" He turned and saw his son walking towards him, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Elliot smiled and nodded slowly, "Yeah…and our old Captain. Don Cragen. You remember him?" Eli just stared at him and smiled sadly, "No…I guess you wouldn't."

Eli picked up the frame and laughed, "So you two were just as much trouble back then as you are now…"

Elliot snorted and sat down on the stool behind him "Even more so…"

Placing the photo back down he looked at his Dad, "I saw you and Grandma watching some video…she looked like she was crying."

Elliot swallowed the lump in his throat, "Old home videos from my childhood…things we haven't seen in years."

Eli looked right at him and asked, "Will you show me?"

Elliot smiled and reached for his laptop, "I'd like that…"

And for the second time that night, he cued up the videos and saw the older version of himself fill the screen.

Eli snorted, "Nice outfit…"

Elliot smiled and pulled him down on the second stool, "Keep the commentary to a minimum or I'm whipping out the naked pictures of you next time you bring a girl over…"

Eli smirked and shook his head, "Whatever Dad…"

Looping his arm around his son's shoulders, he made a mental note to talk to him about an important memory. His birth. Because he wasn't sure if he knew just how much Olivia had done for him or his Mother. And that was one piece of their past he didn't ever want to forget…