"THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman's life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically."

Stephanie

I was broke, my car had been repossessed, and I was desperate. So I blackmailed my cousin Vinnie into letting me do skip tracing. He agreed, figuring I would get tired of it and quit by dinner. I was determined to prove him wrong, and so far had lasted until 8 in the evening.

Now that I was standing outside the apartment I was sure Morelli was hiding in, I wasn't so sure quitting was that bad an idea. There had to be other ways to make $10,000. I've heard the market for kidneys is really good, and really, who needs more than one kidney? My stomach was tied up in knots, but I put on a cute-and-non threatening facial expression and knocked on the door.

I don't know why he would answer it. I mean, why would he? What kind of idiot fugitive answers the door to someone he doesn't know?

Apparenty the kind who's a cop wanted for murder. The door cracked open, and I saw the face I remembered from childhood. He looked harder, more chiseled, and somewhat sickly. I guess being on the run messes with your sleep schedule.

I took a moment to steady my voice, to formulate the lie. "I'm looking for Joe Juniak . . ."

"You got the wrong apartment. There's no Juniak here."

And I lost my nerve. "Sorry" I said as I stumbled away, really not sure under any scenario I could have gotten him to come back to jail with me.

But as I turned to go down the stairs he was in front of me. I hadn't even seen him move.

"Stephanie? Stephanie Plum?"

"Um, Joe Morelli?"

His eyes narrowed. "You ran me over with a Buick."

"You wrote on the men's room that I was like a cupcake, soft and sweet and good to eat."

He laughed. "That's true, I did." Then he looked at me, not like a fugitive, but like a panther eyeing his prey. "I like the hair. Wild, untamed. Sexy"

I froze. I briefly considered trying to seduce him into my car, but decided that was an insane idea.

He glanced at his watch. "I'd love to continue this conversation, but I have places to be. But I'll look you up when I'm finished with this."

And he was gone, down the stairs and out the door.

In frustration I called Connie, embarrassed that I had found him, but he'd gotten away. "I need to talk to someone, an expert, someone to give me advice."

"I know just the guy. Ranger. Ex-special forces, now he does fugitive apprehension. He owes me a favor, I'll give him a call."

And that's how I ended up at an all-night diner sitting across from the hottest guy I'd ever seen. He had smooth brown skin, long black hair in a ponytail, and a dangerous look in his eye. "So, Connie tells me you want to be a Bounty Hunter. Why's that?"

Ranger

I'd thought Connie was kidding when she said she had a new BEA. This chick from the Burg wanted to take down criminals skipping bond? Still, I did owe Connie a favor for telling me when I could come in right before Vinnie was leaving so I didn't have to talk to him for more than a few minutes. So what the hell, I figured I could play Henry Higgans for a newbie.

She wasn't what I expected. Way too perky. Couldn't intimidate a rabbit with a panic disorder. Still, she was pretty hot, so I figured I'd give it a go. I always liked teaching, and she was a damn sight better to look at then Army recruits.

"You see the car parked under the streetlight? It's mine." she said defiantly.

"OK. You need money. I get that. But why this? Do you have any military experience? Law enforcement? Judo?"

She shook her head. "I'm clever, I'm a good liar, and I'm tenacious. And I want to get him."

"Who's him?"

"Joe Morelli. My first...case."

"Personal reasons? So what did this guy do to you? Because he's not stupid, and he's not careless. Probably better to stick to DUIs and Public Indecency."

"I want this guy."

Mentally I shrugged. "What do you know about guns?"

"Not a lot, aside from that I don't like them."

Dammit.

"You're going to need one anyway. Plus cuffs and a stun gun. Pepper Spray too, just to be safe. Can you afford that?"

"I have a bit of money stashed away."

I could tell by the look on her face that it wasn't much. I was feeling charitable, maybe I'd subsidize the purchases. If she chickened out, I'd take them back, you can never have too many guns or cuffs.

"Meet me as Sid's gun store tomorrow at 9AM. We'll train then."

I drove back to the basement apartment I shared with my cousin Lester. I couldn't get Stephanie Plum out of my head. There was just something about her, scared but fiery, and such a babe.

Lester was camped out in front of the TV, unusual for him. He normally went to bed after the news unless he was on watch. "Cuz, you aren't going to believe this shit." He flipped off the screen.

"What happened?" If this was another thing about the damn Kardashians, I was going to dope-slap him.

"Well, first, they've perfected synthetic blood. Works for transfusions, even got down the packaging so you can transport it without refrigeration."

Damn. That would save a LOT of soldier's lives. Plenty of times on a battlefield someone has bled out before a medic could get them to a hospital. "That's great news. We should get some to keep at Rangeman when it opens up."

"Dude, that's isn't the half of it. It gets WAY bigger than that."

I grabbed a beer from the fridge. "So spill, what's the big news that eclipses saving soldier's lives?"

"Shit, you wouldn't believe me if I told you." He grabbed the remote and turned the TV back on. It was tuned to CNN, and Wolf Blitzer was on the screen.

"For those of you who have just joined us, we have breaking news. Earlier this evening we received verified reports that vampires are real, and have been living among us. The introduction of synthetic blood has allowed them to feed without killing, and so they have 'Come out of the coffin', so to speak, announcing their presence to the world. Here is the footage broadcast in the United States."

Wolf was replaced with a white-haired middle-aged man that looked like a bank president. He explained that vampires wanted nothing more than to live in peace with humans. Yeah right. I'm sure they were all cuddly puppy dogs who were just misunderstood.

"So you think a vamp is as good in the sack as all the stories say?" Lester asked, proving once again that his mind truly did have only one track.

"I'm sure you'll let me know any minute. I'm going to bed."

I walked to my bedroom and changed, sliding under the crappy sheets. We'd only be in this place for a few more months, until the Rangeman building was complete. It occurred to me suddenly that if I ever brought a woman back here, she'd probably hate it. A twin bed with sheets from an army surplus store. Dollar store toiletries. The room wasn't much bigger than a handicap bathroom stall. When I moved, I should upgrade.

As I fell asleep, I wondered that made me think of that.