Chapter 1 - A new beginning

He would not give into the ludicrous demands of this being! It was illogical and blatantly incompetent. How could he accept such properties on a person that wanted to be his superior? No, as long as he had a body or simply existed in whatever other form (because he probably wasn't alive at the moment) he would not submit to such obviously false authority.

That was his reasoning behind his last stand against this supposed deity, but the flames of his righteous anger soon died down when the supernatural being responded to his arguments not with a humble apology, but instead with childish fury. Now he was going to be punished for his correct and logical assessment of the situation by being subjected to "struggle and hardship" as the bastard called it. What kind of "god" would do something like that? It was idiotic and completely unfair. He hadn't even the opportunity to file a formal complaint!

Suddenly visions of darkness and snow assaulted his senses. Faces of people he had never seen before raced through his mind before everything culminated in the image of a giant hole in the ground. He had not a single second to process all of this however as his soul was ripped through time and space into infinity. And then everything went black.

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When he opened his eyes again nothing felt right. The room he awoke in felt far too big and he couldn't move. He tried to call for help to free him of his unrightful imprisonment, but it only sounded like the cry of a toddler. What was going on? Did somebody play a sick joke on him?

Finally his pleas for assistance were answered in form of a giant of a woman coming over and smiling at him. Was this the land of giants? Was he a prisoner? Would the woman eat him? The answer was far more horrifying than he could have predicted.

"Ooohhh... Aren´t you just the cutest? Are you hungry my dear? Don´t worry, your big sister is here now. You will get something to eat very soon so that you can grow into a healthy and beautiful young woman."

She petted his head.

"You´re so adorable... I cannot imagine why anyone would give you up. But maybe it was a gift from the heavens so that this poor sister here" she pointed at herself "could have a little sunshine in her life. Yes... That´s what I am going to call you from now on: Tanya Sunshine. Does that not just sound lovely?"

She petted his head again and left.

It took a solid minute for all the information to sink in. Then he nearly choked to death after the realization hit him with as much force as the train in the station had.

No, this couldn't be happening. Being X that sick bastard had made him a child again! He hated children! They were so loud and dirty and undisciplined. Most of them could not even tell you the difference between gross- and net income! From the sounds of it he also wasn't just any normal child, but an orphan! Why else would the woman call herself "sister" like that? Meaning that he had no money or influence. His life would be horrible! But this was nothing compared to the gravest of news: He was now apparently a girl!

For the first time in decades he allowed himself to cry.

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The term "hell" did not even begin to describe what he went through in the following years. Being fed and pampered for months were the most humiliating experiences of his life. On top of that he had to relearn how to speak, how to walk and so much more. All his countless hours of fitness training in his previous life down the drain!

He prided himself to be a very rational and efficient person that could overcome his struggles simply by hard work and logical decision making. Nonetheless took it nearly three years before he could accept the "situation" his body was in. After a certain period he could no longer deny his predicament and tried to actively think of himself as a girl. Self-acceptance was the only way to a happy and balanced life after all.

Unfortunately there was nothing else to distract Tanya from her philosophical struggles, because books were basically nonexistent and the other children at the orphanage were lousy conversationalists. None of them were able to understand her, even when she tried to speak as simple and trivial as she could. They soon avoided Tanya completely despite the efforts of the sisters for them to socialize. Not that she cared.

So it came to no surprise that she spent her time as much outside the orphanage as she could. Not an easy task when the outside world seemingly only consisted of half ruined buildings and a frozen wasteland where it even sometimes snowed during the summer. At least it improved her resistance to the harsh weather early on, which would hopefully help her become a productive member of this primitive society as soon as possible (even though frostbite hurt like crazy).

It was still better than to get misunderstood by oblivious caretakers or shunned by children twice her age who were too damn stupid to think about their future! Why would nobody understand that physical exercise and thorough studying was important for their career? Did all these fools think they would get anywhere in life just by lazing about and occasionally searching the garbage dumps?

From time to time one of the kids actually found something good in there, which would then be traded for other interesting findings. A scrap of barely edible food, a flickering flashlight or some clothes that were not totally ruined. More layers to protect against the biting winds were always a good thing after all. But nothing compared to the treasure one the children, whose name she had not bothered to find until now, unearthed from what she had dubbed "Pile number 7". (Even though the conditions were terrible it was still her temporary work place and as such it needed to be organized.)

It was a book about an astounding place further south called "The Abyss". Finally something interesting!