Five years?! Byleth thinks, frantically sprinting towards Garreg Mach. The wind grossley tosses her hair about, putting pieces in her mouth rather aggravatingly. She doesn't care, nor does she bother paying any attention to the state of the monastery with it's massive main gates utterly destroyed. Only blinking in acknowledgment, she completely bypasses the shady looking thieves who snap their heads in her direction. The second Byleth steps back into the entrance hall, left open for anyone to just wander into, her mind desperately tries to think of what's next, where to go, who will even be here. Her thoughts wander to Edelgard, to when they battled, or when the Flame Emperor unmasked, and that horrible metal helmet hit the floor and rang throughout the Holy Mausoleum like a gong.
"Kill her!" Rhea had screamed in the emperor's face. Byleth remembers the horror on her own face, as she stood stock-still at the revelation that Edelgard of all people could have-could have sided with the monsters who killed Jeralt. Though, Byleth was also taken aback by Rhea, who once appeared so modest as the head of the Church, who could switch that extremely. It made Byleth wonder what kind of normal thinking human could just order someone's own teacher to kill them, as if Byleth was a dog to command, as if Edelgard was a mere pest to dispose of.
"Professor," Edelgard had rasped, very nearly pleading; all while Hubert hovered over her, begging Byleth in his own way with his acid green eyes. "You were with me when I was-" Crowned, she had meant. "You promised you would be by my side." Among her quiet words, members of the church's army began to swarm in while more Empire soldiers did the same, and there were… a lot of red shields. Byleth opened her mouth to speak, but Rhea grabbed the professor by the shoulder and roughly tugged her backward. Byleth stumbled over herself, only steadying once Seteth stepped in behind her and protectively put a hand on her back. The two mouth pieces of the church stood tall at Byleth's sides, claiming her as their own.
"I can't lose you to her," Rhea spat, glaring at Edelgard as if she wasn't the young woman Byleth had spent so much time with, hadn't cared about, hadn't fallen for. Hubert tugged on Edelgard's arm, though the emperor seemed to shrug and fight against it.
"This isn't going to plan," Hubert hissed, worriedly watching as Rhea's face became more and more heavy with an animalistic twinge, a sharpness rounding out her teeth, a greenish glow in her eyes that seemed to become more slit-like. "Your Majesty, we have to go. Now!" Edelgard let out a shaky breath, her soft, almost broken lilac eyes stared into the depths of Byleth's own pale green ones. For once in Byleth's dense mind, she had understood that there was more left unsaid. It was like Edelgard was trying to tell her with just her eyes that,
"I need you. Don't let them take you from me-" But she was cut off by a purplish gust of magic that smelled like salt and fire. It burned the tip of Byleth's tongue as her mouth hung open, and there was no explaining the pain in her heart, because she had never felt so much in a place that didn't beat. The Black Eagles all looked at each other, their faces twitching with fear, clearly unsure of what to do next as they began to tremble and restlessly pace. Rhea had kept yelling, swearing on Edelgard's name, angering Byleth in a way she didn't know she could be.
"I must go," Petra whispered just loud enough for Dorothea and Byleth to have heard her. "I must go for the safety of my people; for Brigid!" Dorothea's entire demeanor went cold as Petra scurried away, sending the singer and her teacher an apology on her dry and quivering lips. Byleth had pressed herself against Dorothea's side, offering all she could as Rhea got louder, and Seteh started mumbling under his breath, and the soldiers began to shout "after them!" all while Caspar and Lindhart were yelling back and forth.
"My Dad will never let me back into the family if I don't go with her!" Caspar yelled. Lindhart grabbed at him but the rowdier boy pushed him back, far rougher than he probably needed to. There was so much agitation in the room, it just had to be let out. "I'm sorry," is all Caspar could say before he too abandoned his classmates. Ferdinand was the next one to question his standing.
"I… have to be at the emperor's side," he said to his teacher, clenching his fists at his sides hard enough to turn his knuckles white. "The prime minister's role is to tell her when she's wrong, and she's wrong right now! I have to go, don't I? I… don't want to go."
"Stay," Byleth stressed, her chin high but not confident. "We can find a way to resolve this and stop this madness; together." Ferdinand, Dorothea, Lindhart, Bernadetta, Ashe, Felix, Mercedes, Anette, Leonie, Marianne, and Lysithea. They were all there, standing at Byleth's side, confirming their allegiance to their professor, to their hope.
"The Goddess Tower," Byleth mumbles aloud, turning her head left and right, swishing her fringes against her hollow cheeks. She takes off in that direction with a start. It's the Millennium Festival today, isn't it? She had promised her Black Eagles that she'd be there… What a way to keep my promise. As she pounds her way up the long winding steps, almost tripping over a vine once or twice, she wonders who will be there. I hope they all survived. That's what matters the most. She gets to the landing with a dull thud of her heel. "Edelgard?"
Byleth could recall every piece of clothing, every curve of her face, each ribbon in her hair, but if this weren't her, this would still be one of the most beautiful people Byleth has ever laid eyes on. Yet this is Edelgard, and such raw beauty and newfound strength in her aura draws the old mercenary in a million times over. She realizes that not only does she want to drop to her knees to express her fealty, she wants to drop to her knees to worship Edelgard for all that she is. It's not just because she's beautiful; Edelgard just seems like she has grown so much stronger than the young girl was ever expected to grow. Even the emperor's posture standing there in such a brilliantly colored dress expresses so much confidence that it's hard not to be taken aback in the best sort of way. Byleth is truly enamored.
The emperor just stares back at Byleth, her mouth hung open as she steps out of the evening light that's peering in from the balcony. Her crimson gloved hand rests on the dagger at her hip, and her light eyebrows curl together and then up into her hairline more times than Byleth can count. It isn't until the teacher smiles, just faintly, that Edelgard snaps out of her stupor.
"H-how are you-I saw you fall from that cliff with my own eyes! You should be dead. I-I knew you didn't die," Edelgard wheezes, covering her mouth with her open palm. Byleth takes one step closer, cautious not to startle her student who still has her hand on the dagger's slim grip. "My teacher," she squawks, "I wanted to look for you! I fought my own men, wrestling them to the ground so I could go back for you and turnover every rock. Seteth wouldn't allow it. He cornered me, he and his people surrounded the troop I brought to search for you. They didn't even try finding you after they forced you to stay on their side." The gravity of that statement weighs heavy on Byleth's shoulders. She realizes she's missing years of context, and isn't even sure of who's on who's side anymore. "They all thought you were dead, but I…" Edelgard shuts her eyes and clenches her fist, holding back the words.
"Edelgard," Byleth soothes. The younger woman finally glances up again, though her features still look overwhelmed with visceral emotion. "I'm so sorry I left you." Byleth's reminded of the hurt on Edelgard's face before she was warped away back then, and something stings in her chest. Goddess, she looked scared, she looked-
"I was heartbroken," Edelgard whispers, very pointedly staring at something to the side of Byleth's head. She means it in a multitude of ways. "I tried to do the best I could without you… but I don't think it's… I do not know if…" The teacher takes another cautious step forward, going further into the light. Edelgard looks at her as if she's seeing her for the first time all over again, taking in each scratch on her face, every strand of her hair that the light majestically highlights. "Your appearance is exactly as I remember it. Do you… still feel the way you did then? Will you stay by me this time?"
"I always wanted to be by your side," Byleth swears, holding out a hand for Edelgard to take, to trust in. Edelgard's breath hitches before she swats that hand away and throws herself into Byleth's warm arms, awful tears littering her long fluttering eyelashes. With Edelgard in her embrace, Byleth feels like she can breathe for the first time since she's woken up. Her long nose presses into Edelgard's hair and she almost laughs when one of the intricate golden horns narrowly miss poking her in the eye. The emperor smells like flowers, possibly carnations if her nose remembers them correctly. Selfishly she commits this scent to memory, just as she cherishes the feeling of her hands on Edelgard's cape, on the emperor's fingers digging into Byleth's cloak. She hugs her teacher for over a minute, willing away the wetness from her eyes the whole time. When they finally let go of each other, they only part by a fraction, too greedy for each other's touch. Allowing herself to be bold, Byleth drops her head down, resting her forehead against Edelgard's.
"My teacher," Edelgard murmurs. She has difficulty holding eye contact before Byleth holds the younger woman's small chin between her thumb and forefinger, bringing them even closer together. She knows Edelgard isn't breathing, because she feels nothing against her lips or nose. Byleth grins encouragingly, bumping her nose into Edelgard's just so she can hear the little gasp that follows.
"I don't know how to apologize for all of the things I've missed," Byleth explains, "But this is something I should have done a long time ago." She firmly presses her lips to Edelgard's, and the emperor grabs at the lapels of her teacher's jacket while the most precious whine rumbles through Edelgard's throat. Using the surprise to her advantage, Byleth deepens the kiss just enough to take Edelgard's top lip, sucking it as delicately as possible. It doesn't last long, and they're both shaking from the adrenaline of a first kiss as they timidly separate. Gloved fingers play with a piece of Byleth's green hair, and Edelgard tries to hold back the girlish giggle that inevitably forces its way out, much to the teacher's delight.
"I've… wanted that for a long time," Edelgard admits, a blush complimenting her skin tone as it spreads from one cheek, over her nose, and then to the other side. Byleth has an itch to kiss her again, but a troubling thought quickly kills the high. It also seems Edelgard is beginning to be able to read her stoic face like a book, which is a great feat in itself. "What is it?"
"Are all of the Black Eagles with you?" Edelgard drops her hand from Byleth's hair and crosses her arms as she coldly answers,
"They are not." The acid in Byleth's stomach threatens to come up her esophagus as an even worse thought plagues her mind.
"Are they dead?"
"No," Edelgard says, quizzically regarding the teacher. "You do realize what's gone on in the past five years, yes?"
"Well no," Byleth bleats. Edelgard bristles, frowning up at her. "I was asleep."
"This is no time to joke!"
"I'm not joking," Byleth states flatly, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "And I'm worried about my students. Where are they?"
"With the church, I presume." Edelgard sounds bitter as she goes on. "Only Caspar and Petra stand by me. Hubert too, of course." Her face softens at the mention of him, and Byleth groans without meaning too. "...What?"
"Nothing," Byleth mumbles, tucking her hands into the pockets of her jacket. Edelgard huffs, amusement clear on her mature face that lacks the roundness it once had.
"Are you jealous? My teacher, there's no reason to be." Byleth groans and her eyes move to the open balcony again. She squints as she notices something brown, something flapping in the sky. Her skin goes cold.
"Seteth," Byleth blurts. She grabs Edelgard's upper arms in a hurry. "You have to leave. He must have seen me come in here."
"Leave? You're coming with me," Edelgard argues.
"No. Not yet. I have to get the others to switch sides as well." The emperor gawks at her like she has three eyes and a carrot nose.
"There's no guarantee they will do that," Edelgard calmly reasons. "It's dangerous for you to stay here and play both sides."
"I can do damage control. I can tell you what their next moves are because I'm sure I'll be the one making them. Edelgard, we can win the war this way." The emperor bites her lip, seriously considering what this could mean. Byleth isn't wrong. Really, a great many wars have been won from the inside in the past. Still, Edelgard holds back a bit of her excitement at the prospect, knowing how irritated Hubert would be seeing her like this; again it all comes down to her feelings for Byleth. If they sense she's a traitor she could be killed, or worse, used as a bargaining chip against me. If that were the case I'd have to… I would have to… "He's getting close," Byleth points out, holding onto the emperor a little tighter. "Go. I can do this. I'll send letters to you soon."
"There's a spy among the church. He was the soldier who always stood by the cats outside of the monastery's entrance hall. Remember him? Send your letters through that man." Byleth nods, watching Seteth fly around, wildly looking for her. It seems as though Flayn is with him, and the teacher clenches her teeth. "My teacher," Edelgard says, pressing a hand to Byleth's chest above where her still heart is. "You won't change your mind about me will you?" A lot of trust is riding on this, Edelgard knows that as fact. There's a reason that even her obsessive thoughts about the professor as a student still wasn't enough to bend her rule of telling her her plans, even if she'd come so close on a few occasions. This time, if Byleth uses any knowledge against her, she could lose the war entirely, yet she's willing to take the chance if it means her teacher, her lov- No. Not yet. I can not be weak like that so early on. Once more Byleth turns all of her attention onto the woman in front of her, throwing away the imminent danger from her mind. They can both hear the flapping of wings growing dangerously close nonetheless.
"I won't change my mind. I promise." She can't help herself, Byleth presses one last kiss to Edelgard's lips, noting how it feels heavier, like it punctuates her words. In her daze, Edelgard gets shoved back, and Byleth offers her a sincere smile before the emperor goes on autopilot and warps away. Finally the professor lets out a massive breath, holding onto her wobbly knees with both hands.
The flapping of wings is right outside of the balcony, and Seteth loudly hops down and rushes in to find Byleth.
"It's you!" Seteth cheers, his green eyes wide with amazement. From outside, Flayn yells,
"The professor is really here?! We have all been blessed!" Seteth takes a huge step towards Byleth to take a closer look at her, and she finds herself shrinking under his gaze. His eyes seem darker and the bags under them even more so.
"Rhea is gone. She's been gone as long as you have. If you're here, that means it's time for her to return to us as well." Byleth stiffly hums, finding it hard to pretend to care after everything is still so fresh in her mind. The man before her sets his jaw and looks down at her with his chin high. "She left all duties of the church to you. And… we all need you more than ever. We must defeat Edelgard at long last." Byleth's shoulders slump, and she can't look him in the eye. He scoffs in her face, picking up on her mood quite deftly. "Feel no sympathy for her. She must be holding Rhea hostage after all." Byleth's brows furrow. She almost doesn't want to believe Edelgard would allow that after the things she went through herself. It's just further proof that hardly anyone understands the emperor like her teacher does. "I can only imagine the vile things they're doing to her. They're surely causing her an unholy amount of pain… Does that not offend you? Does that not hurt you in turn, professor?" Byleth grits her teeth. If I want to fight for Edelgard from the inside, I am going to have to get comfortable with bending the truth. Intimately so. I guess practice makes perfect.
"It's awful," Byleth answers, straightening her back. "We'll find her, Seteth."
A huge explosion sounds from outside, and Flayn shrieks loud enough that both Seteth and Byleth jump.
"Flayn?!" Seteth and the teacher both sprint for the balcony, catching themselves on the solid concrete banister. Flayn is facing the direction of the blast, and all of the smoke and fire is clear enough that Byleth knows exactly where it's coming from.
"I bet it's those thieves I saw earlier near the entrance. Let's go!" Seteth climbs over the rail with surprising ease and mounts his wyvern, pulling on the lead. He holds a hand out to Byleth and says,
"Get on!" They get there in seconds. The next hour is a violent struggle against thieves with silver bows and swords, two things that force Byleth to stay in the lead and take most of the hits for the two fliers. One arrow hits her in the shoulder, going clean through. She shouts, seeing stars as she feels the gritty pain, reminding her that even if her mind is just as it was five years ago, perhaps her body isn't. She finds herself moving a second or two slower, notices that her arms are a little weaker, but she's impressed when old students begin to swarm towards the middle to meet her and the other two green-haired allies (at least for now) all fight with so much strength.
Dorothea looks sadder, the green of her eyes dim, the smile on her face gone anytime she isn't looking at the teacher. It hurts to see. Ferdinand fights hard, using more upper body strength than he used to, landing critical hits on enemies more often. His hair is long now, and Byleth finds that she likes it quite a bit. Bernadetta appears less skittish, and she fiercely shoots from places Byleth didn't even think a person could shoot from. The teacher already knows she's going to have to tell Bernadetta how proud she is as soon as this fight is over. Lindhart was always an excellent healer, but when he heals Byleth from over half-way across the field, she immediately gets back to her feet feeling better than she did when she first stepped in.
Felix fights just as aggressively as he did before, using his sword with a master's touch. Now he seems to be good with dark magic, strategically switching between the two to get the most effective kill. With Mercedes at his side, he has all the support he needs. Byleth is surprised by how holy she's become, short hair and clothing alike; given that she needed an obvious sign that she was not willing to have anyone in marriage, it makes sense. Annette is next to her, using her axe and her magic while she bolsters the other two's confidence with her praise. Ashe is there too, and he supports Marianne who… appears to have less weight under her eyes and on her shoulders. Leonie and Lysithea seem to bicker while they fight swordsmen, but when Byleth comes into their periferary, Leonie grows distracted and waves to her animatedly before showing off a heavy lance attack so similar to one Jeralt used to rely on. Byleth smirks as she comments that,
"You need to be in tune with your horse when you do that. She almost tipped over." Leonie groans, throwing her fist up at the sky.
"Gah! Why do you always have to be right?!" With the entire team back together, Byleth confidently presses the small number of heavy armored enemies waiting behind the locked door. The closer they all get, the more the men inside tremble and shout orders to try and kill them. Byleth directs Seteth and Flayn around the side, while Bernadetta and Ashe make their way around the back. With an in-sync kick, Felix and Byleth bust the lock on one door, and Byleth orders everyone to attack at once. Their enemies don't last longer than a minute after that.
"Wow," Felix congratulates, almost letting out a laugh.
"That was an excellent plan!" Ferdinand praises, dismounting his horse just to shake the teacher's hand. "I have missed your guidance more than I can say."
"It's not just the guidance I missed," Dorothea interjects, coming in for a hug that Byleth gladly dishes out. "I missed you so much, professor."
"I missed you too," Byleth replies easily, smiling at each of her students who crowd around her with huge grins of their own. "I'm glad to be back for all of you."
"And we are all so thankful to have you," Mercedes stresses, holding her hands over her heart. Seteth soon steps into place at Byleth's side, nodding to the others in silent thanks.
"You have protected this sacred place once again, and so I thank you all. Yet there is no time for too much more of this, even if I do share your enthusiasm for seeing your teacher again. We have to get to work rebuilding our defenses here. See, I believe we should all regroup, and after that we must set out to find Rhea, to kill Edelgard, to bring peace back to Fodlan." Byleth can't help but harden her face at the mention of the emperor again. Battle at least gave her a small reprieve from the messy situation, but of course it couldn't last. It isn't just her that seems to be agitated though, because she notices the core Black Eagles all share hesitant glances between one another. Only Dorothea locks eyes with Byleth though, and she squints her eyes in a way that makes it obvious she recognizes something is off in the professor.
"The dormitories are untouched," Flayn comments, waving from the back where she's hidden behind her taller classmates. It's cute, Byleth finds, how quickly the others move so everyone can see her. "Thieves may have stolen some leftover belongings… but every bed and sheet is still there. You've all traveled so far, at least rest for tonight." Seteth mumbles under his breath, and like usual, Flayn scolds him. "Brother, they will be useless if we do not allow them proper rest! We need food just the same! How about the two of us go into town and round up some of the old monastery staff?"
"Fine. You are right, I suppose." A few students start walking past the gates, talking amongst each other as they say things like,
"I can't believe she's back."
"Woah this place looks awful."
"I wonder if the professor still sleeps in a coffin." Byleth chuckles at the last one. Then she inwardly curses when her amusement catches Seteth's attention and he moves closer to her again.
"So. I feel a little odd putting this much faith in you upfront, but I have no choice. I must believe that you can lead us to victory." Flayn pats him on the back and leans against his arm.
"There is no doubt in my mind the professor will save us all. She has been blessed by the Goddess, by Rhea too! There is no one else who can lead Fodlan on the path it needs to be on." She smiles radiantly at Byleth who feels like her insides are melting under the pressure of such high praise. I am just me. An old mercenary. A short lived professor. Sothis is with me yes, but she doesn't choose the path before me. How am I supposed to know exactly what Fodlan should look like? "You are you, professor. And that's what I believe in." Her words are absolute, and her fond, somewhat innocent tilt to her head gives them a sincerity unlike anyone else. Perhaps I may not know what Fodlan should do next, but I know what I need to do.
"I will save every one of you. I will protect as much innocent life as I can," Byleth solemnly swears. "I will help guide Fodlan's future protector with all of my heart." Her careful wording seems to ring true in both Seteth and Flayn's ears, and for once, the older man seems proud of the teacher before him.
"Thank you," Seteth breathes, bowing in time with Flayn. "You have no idea how much of the hurt in my heart has lessened with you here again already." His eyes look so exhausted when he comes back up, and maybe Byleth feels a little bad when her thoughts just circle back to Edelgard. It's you who needs me the most. It's you, Edelgard, who needs this credit. You've suffered so much to be where you are. The hate you're seeing in return… I feel like I'm hardly seeing half of it. It's already getting under my skin.
Slowly Byleth makes her way to her room, missing the warmth it used to have when Sothis was there, spitting whatever judgment she had about Byleth that day. Even more so, Byleth misses the few private tea parties she had here with Edelgard when it was nearly one A.M. and neither of them could sleep. They used to drag in a tiny patio table left outside while wrestling chairs over their shoulders before doing their least favorite part; begging for tea from Ferdinand when the kitchen was closed. Byleth drops onto her bed with a thud and chuckles at the ceiling when she recalls the one time Edelgard went to talk to Ferdinand instead of the professor.
It had taken Edelgard so long to come back that Byleth had actually been worried one of the patrol crew caught her and took her to Rhea. She busied herself for nearly half an hour, lifting the pot off the tiny fire they set up in the corner of the room before she inevitably had to set the pot back on the flame because it grew cold. Only when she heard two very distinct knocks did Byleth let out a relieved sigh. She laughed when Edelgard shut the door and banged her head against it in frustration. She had a hunch as to why that was the princess's first reaction.
"I can not stand that fool," Edelgard growled. "If he lectures me one more time about my tea knowledge, I will-hhhhrrr." That was the first night Byleth touched her, simply because she couldn't help it when Edelgard looked like she was about to combust. Delicately she set a hand on Edelgard's caped shoulder and squeezed. Any of the irritation that had the heiress's shoulder tensed up to her ears was erased and those shoulders dropped in an instant. Edelgard had turned towards Byleth like she couldn't believe that such a reserved person even reached out so boldly. Byleth appreciated that Edelgard didn't make it a big deal, all she did was smile loosely and put her gloved hand on top of Byleth's before pointing at the kettle on the ground. "We will be having a southern fruit blend it seems." She held the packet up, shaking it slightly. It was then that Byleth snickered and smuggly set the pot on the patio table, all while Edelgard raised a brow at her.
"We don't need that," Byleth said, and then pulled out one of her desk drawers open to reveal an entire tin of Bergamot. "I almost forgot that I always stock up on this just for you."
"How could you forget that and send me to that annoying-You did this on purpose," Edelgard claimed, pointing an accusatory finger at the teacher who looks no less smug.
"Heh. Maybe."
"Argh! Professor!" Byleth innocently chuckled and threw some leaves into the pot. "Don't do that to me again, I swear!"
"Oh yeah? Or what?" Byleth pestered, pouring a cup of piping hot drink. Edelgard went red as she tightened and then slackened her grip at her sides like a seething child.
"I can't handle this teasing," Edelgard spat, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You're cute when you're angry," Byleth commented, pouring the second cup swiftly. Edelgard's eyes went wide at the phrasing.
"You're being far too cheeky," Edelgard warned, having grown somehow more red.
"You like it." The princess begrudgingly fell into her seat and dropped her head into her palm as she glared across the table at Byleth who happily took a sip from her cup. It was a cup from the set Edelgard had recently given her, a beautiful red, gold, and white pair of cups and a kettle that had a flower pattern on it. The flowers were carnations, and Byleth, knowing that carnations meant deep love and affection for the person given them, always drank with a drunken smile and a hope that in the future, she'd be able to tell Edelgard just how much every single sip from those cups meant to her and how much love she felt as she swallowed the last drop.
"I do like it," Edelgard answered, her eyes half-lidded as she had fixated on her hand splayed out on the table. "P-perhaps I could grow comfortable with this side of you."
"You want to grow more comfortable with me?" They glanced at each other tentatively, wondering if they were thinking along the same lines. Byleth stared at the nervous quirk in Edelgard's lip as she said,
"More than comfortable." It was like a bomb had dropped right then and there. They both said nothing after as they sipped their tea, but neither of them had the control to have hidden their smiles for the rest of the night.
In her bed now, Byleth runs her hand over her face, trying to wipe away the wetness on her eyelids that she doesn't ever think she'll get used to feeling. They aren't even bad tears, they're just frustrated ones. She misses Edelgard, and everything here is just a reminder of that. The small white bear with the red ribbon around its neck that her feet keep bumping into at the foot of her bed was the one she was supposed to give Edelgard after their talk in the Goddess Tower after the ball five years ago. Byleth had chickened out of giving it to her because her numb heart had reminded her that she's just her, someone who probably can't even love, nor is she someone who deserves love. No one can love a demon. Even if she isn't in love with Edelgard, there's something there, and even the person she was five years ago felt that. But now… Byleth is more aware of this softness in her that becomes exponentially more noticeable when it relates to the younger woman. Tiredly, she kicks the bear up into the air and catches it. It sits on her chest, the black endless eyes looking back at her.
She squeezes it in her arms and passively remembers when Edelgard admitted to doing this to feel comfort after a bad dream. She had embarrassedly said the ones Byleth gave her helped the most, and Byleth feels justified, snuggling with it as she turns onto her side facing the wall. She wonders what it would be like if one day she could turn and Edelgard would be there, sleeping peacefully, or even better, if she was looking at Byleth right back. Byleth shallowly sighs, squeezing her eyes shut. I wonder if you're thinking about me now. Words zip around behind the teacher's lids, words she never felt compelled to speak aloud before. With the way she was raised, she had to stay quiet most of the time, stalking her prey so she could get the upper hand. At the bases, there were too many egotistical men she never got along with, especially being a young girl who knew very little in their eyes. Still, these words, she knows they'll escape her if they don't get released.
With a start, Byleth gets off the bed and fumbles through her desk drawer, slapping down ink, a quill, and some scraps of parchment paper. She kicks her chair out with her toes and sits with only half of her bottom on it before she begins to frantically write.
Dear Edelgard,