Burning Bridges
The blazing Scottish afternoon sun illuminated the towers of Hogwarts, as if in revere of the centuries-old castle. It was late June, and the heat of the day had not yet begun to dissipate. Masses of black robes milled about the corridors, eagerly awaiting the beginning of their summer holidays in two days' time.
Emerging from the potions classroom in the darkest corner of the dungeons was a peculiar sight. A petite fifth-year girl with a sheet of auburn hair strode alongside a lanky boy with a mop of long raven-black hair that seemed to ooze grease. Their conversation was exchanged with few words, and they slipped into companionable silence more often than not.
As they rounded the corner to the Great Hall, they heard the racket only a certain group of raucous fifth-year boys could produce, as they laughed and pranced through the crowds of students. The redheaded girl's conversation faltered momentarily as she scoffed and rolled her eyes at them, causing obvious discomfort to her companion. He grimaced at her acknowledgement of them, but she soon resumed her conversation.
As a tall, messy-haired boy donning a pair of rectangular glasses shouted over the heads of a cluster of younger students between them to his equally tall, dark-haired friend, he caught sight of the redhead and strode ahead of his group to greet her.
"Alright, Evans?" he said brightly, refusing to acknowledge her companion. As she began to respond with a curt "Fine, Potter", she was interrupted by the Slytherin to her right; "I don't think that's any of your business, Potter".
The bespectacled boy turned toward the greaseball who stood before him with narrowed eyes. By this time, the remainder of his group had caught up to the little group and stood on either side of their friend.
Sensing the tension of the situation, and noticing the large number of students who had begun to gather round the group, eagerly anticipating yet another Gryffindor/Slytherin, Potter/Snape confrontation, Lily Evans exasperatedly attempted to diffuse the situation.
"Sev. Potter." she said sternly, "Now is not the time. Please have this out later." The two boys were now glaring intensely at one another, two hazel eyes focused on two jet black ones, both unblinking and unwilling to stand down.
"You heard the lady, Snivellus. Walk away. Go skulking back to the Slytherin common room, back to your Death Eater housemates."
"I'm not weak like you Potter. I don't walk away from a fight and I don't need my friends to back me up, either."
James Potter's dark-haired friend now joined the conversation, unwilling to brush past the implication that a Gryffindor, James Potter no less, was a coward.
"Didn't know you had any friends, Snivellus," he barked, stepping closer to Snape so he and Potter were now in line, staring down at the greasy-haired boy.
"I, at least, have a family, Black, you blood traitor." Snake bit back.
Lily, emotionally exhausted from the trials of a taxing school year, was desperately hoping to force Sev to make a quick getaway, and avoid the increasingly common confrontations that were becoming all too draining. As she was mentally arguing with herself who would be more receptive to her pleas out of Potter and Sev, everything seemed to kick off.
Snape's comment immediately set Sirius Black off, as in one swift but graceful movement, he flung a harmless but nevertheless effective stinging hex at the defensive boy a few feet away from him.
James quickly grabbed Sirius' wrist, but it seemed that he wasn't about to fling any more spells in the Slytherin's direction, and Sirius lowered his wand.
"Potter. Walk. Away. Now. Please…" Lily pleaded, ultimately deciding that James would be most likely to heed her advice. She hoped that her desperate eyes would be enough to placate the situation, change James' mind and allow her a few moments of peace in this blasted castle.
But before the group of Gryffindor boys could walk away unharmed, Snape began to fire a barrage of spells toward them. Granted most missed in his state of agitation, but this was enough for the awed and excited spectators surrounding the scene to gasp and/or cheer in support.
Ignoring the masses of rowdy and entertainment-starved students, Lily Evans tried in vain to stop the 15-year-old boys from continuing to fling stunning spells, stinging hexes, body-bind charms and a colourful array of other spells at one another, in the meantime lazily deflecting any wayward spells that missed their target and came towards her.
She couldn't help but fire a few well-placed insults at James Potter while she had the chance.
"Potter WHY must everything be a battle with you lot, you are such an arrogant toerag, can't you ever just walk away?! Not everything is a challenge to your pride!" she cried across the scene.
"Not me this time, Evans!" James replied, with just a touch of sheepishness in his voice, but not enough to placate Lily's temper.
"Potter you are such an arse! And nothing is ever your fault either, I can't stand-"
And then, just as abruptly as the fighting had started, it was halted by Sirius catching Snape with a levicorpus which resulted in the Slytherin hanging by the leg of his trousers, upside down, in the middle of the corridor surrounded by both seething and delighted students, depending on whose side they were on.
"Potter, put him down right now!" Lily demanded, feeling her blood boiling with every second her friend hung from the ceiling. Potter had begun to reply with a flourish, "But of course, my dear Evans, anything for you.", when the body dangling from above his head spat out at the girl,
"Stay out of this, you filthy little mudblood. I don't need your help."
Snape's words hung in the air, accentuated by the silence that had fallen on the ever-growing mass of students gathering to witness the battle.
Lily felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. She felt a little crack appear in her heart, as if it already knew what her mind did not, that she had just lost her best friend.
Acknowledging her "friend" above her and determined not to let anyone see her cry, she barked out "Right, then, I'll leave you to it.", before promptly stalking off.
She turned away from the group, pushing through the crowds of gawking students to hurry down the corridor, turning left to venture out to the fresh air and clarity of the Hogwarts grounds.
Remus Lupin, who had been flinging hexes just as thoroughly, though arguably less painful ones, at Snape as his friends, gave a small nod of understanding to James, before hurrying after the small redhead retreating down the hallway.
James looked after Lily with a mixture of concern and longing, wishing he could be the one to comfort her after such a public thrashing by the, in his opinion, slimy little git she considered to be her best friend. However, he knew that she would reject his concern, and respond with her frustration and fury.
So instead, he turned back toward the Slytherin still hanging from the ceiling, regarding him with only hatred and contempt in his eyes, before releasing him from the spell and allowing Snape to come crashing to the cold, hard stone of the floor.
As Snape brushed off his robes, still staring at Potter as if he was the most vile thing on Earth, James stepped towards him.
"Don't you EVER call her that again, do you hear me?", he spat, before turning away from the greasy creature whom, if he was being honest, made him sick to his stomach at that moment. The crowds had already begun to dissipate, sensing the fight was over and also moved by the fear of detention from a prefect or teacher. James pushed past the students, followed closely by Sirius and Peter.
Peter was never one to instigate any fighting, the pudgy blonde boy instead choosing to follow the lead of his more cavalier friends. Nevertheless, Peter's unfailing loyalty and his surprisingly sound advice had solidified their friendship way back in first year.
The trio made their way back to Gryffindor Tower, with James striding ahead, his brow furrowed and his mind lost deep in thought, avoiding the congratulations and praise offered to him by fellow students for his performance in the fight.
Slaps on the back and calls of "Go on, Potter!" punctuated his walk down the corridors, but he couldn't help the feeling of embarrassment and shame that was beginning to wash over him. Before long, a feeling of utter guilt and reproach had settled in his stomach, as he kept replaying the confrontation moments earlier. Snape's words echoed in his mind, and each time they replayed he felt the anger rising in his chest, and relived the feeling of total disgust at the way the words were aimed at the beautiful, sweet, kind, Lily Evans.
Lily sat with her back against a tree, staring out over the Black Lake attempting to slow her breathing and calm her thoughts in an effort to prevent her tears from brimming over. Her heart ached for the friendship she recognised she had just lost, but it ached even more for the fact that she didn't even see it coming. To all others, Lily was renowned for her kind-hearted nature, her words of comfort often spoken to friends and strangers alike in their moments of need, and her patience with others, especially to those in younger years. However, this also made Lily just a touch naïve. All her positivity and optimistic nature, never failing to see the good in those who frankly, had little good in them, meant she often didn't see what was right in front of her until it smacked her in the face.
The first day she met Severus Snape at the playground in Spinners End, he told her he had known she was "special". As any youngest sibling would be, she was flattered by the attention, and was always pleased to make new friends. However, 8-year-old Lily overlooked the slight feeling of nausea the washed over her when he told her had been watching her from his house across the street for many months.
Snape recounted events to her in astonishing detail, which had occurred in the privacy of her own home, noting how every time she became overly emotional or angry, 'inexplicable' things began to happen. He told her about the time when Petunia had eaten the last Jammy Dodger, and she had become so angry all of the teacups in their house splintered into tiny shards of china. It had taken Mum weeks to glue them all back together.
Most of the apprehension she felt was alleviated by her curiosity when Snape confided in Lily that they were alike, that they were kindred spirits, that they were magic. She could never forget that he had been the one to open the door to this incredible new world, and it left her in absolute awe. Of him, of the wizarding world and it's incredible inventions, and sometimes even herself.
Nevertheless, all the while he was opening her eyes to this amazing new life, he was planting seeds of doubt about her old one. Severus constantly reminded her that they, as magical beings, were superior to others, that she was inherently better than the rest of her family, better than all muggles.
Of course, this should have been the first sign to run, but Lily's trusting nature and incredulity at the magical world which was opening up around her saw only his patience and loyalty to her.
Then, once they had received their Hogwarts letters at age 11, he became a lifeline from the chaos at home. The rift between Lily and Petunia forced her towards Severus, and once they started school he was really the only friend she had. Despite being sorted into different houses, they spent most of their time both in and out of classes together, bonded by their pre-existing friendship and shared dislike of James Potter and Sirius Black.
Lily, of course, laughed it off after flinging a few hexes their way, but Snape silently seethed and brooded, internalising their trivial remarks and building what he considered to be a defence of pureblood supremacy.
Although Lily had found other friends in her dormmates Marlene and Alice, who had begun to become weary and concerned about Snape's behaviour towards other muggle-borns, she still managed to only see his good qualities, she thought to herself now, humiliated.
She became aware of soft footsteps rustling the green grass to her left, and turned to see Remus Lupin wandering towards her.
Lily sniffled a bit and then smiled sadly at him, knowing he had witnessed the whole calamity moments earlier. She and Remus, now fellow prefects, had become friendly in about third year, when they had been paired together in Defence Against the Dark Arts. A few late-night study sessions in the library later, they were firm friends.
Remus sat down beside her, his back against the tree, offering a quiet "I'm sorry, Lily", before resting a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Whatever for?" Lily asked, pretending to be surprised. "it's not your fault, if Potter and Black hadn't come waltzing down the corridor and started that whole thing, I wouldn't be in this mess right now." She said, feeling the frustration overtaking her growing feeling of worthlessness.
"Lily, I don't think-"
"No, Remus, don't try to defend them. Of all the arrogant, selfish, troublemaking things to do. Do you think he enjoys making my life a living hell?" She turned towards Remus while gesturing wildly with her hands, hoping he would affirm her sentiments. "And what about-
"No, Lily," Remus said as he stood, his unusually firm tone taking Lily off guard. "I'm really sorry about what Snape said to you, I really am. No one should ever be treated like that, especially not by their friends, but that was not James and Sirius' fault. I know that James and Snape do tend to egg each other on, and I'm not saying James and Sirius haven't been known to be a touch cruel," Lily scoffed at this, "But Snape's prejudices are his own issue, and just because you've never been confronted with them first hand before, doesn't mean the rest of us haven't seen this coming from a mile away. That kind of pureblood supremacy runs so deep, especially in a lot of the Slytherin families, many of whom Snape has publicly been in full support of, by the way, and just because you couldn't see it, doesn't mean it wasn't there all along."
Remus, reeling from his short but impassioned speech, and having said all he felt he needed to say, began to make his way back towards the castle. Lily sat, back still perched against one of the many ancient trees that littered the grounds of Hogwarts. She was utterly stunned by the severity and fervour with which Remus had delivered his thoughts. She remained that way for a while, pondering everything he had said, for Remus was usually incredibly soft-spoken, so whenever he was impassioned enough to deliver a monologue like that, Lily knew she had to take everything he had said seriously.
Now that Lily thought about it, this moment had been a rather long time coming, and she knew Marlene and Alice would certainly agree. But then again, she couldn't agree with everything Remus had said about Potter and Black either. It positively baffled her why they felt the need to constantly cause chaos, especially with the ever-increasing tension in wizarding society. At least she wouldn't have to see Potter and Black incessantly over the summer holidays, like she inevitably would with Snape.
Lily sat alone, perched against that solid, comforting tree as the last few hours of sunlight slowly melted away from the sky, marvelling at the brilliant orange and red sunsets only Hogwarts could produce. All she had to do was make it through the last couple of days of fifth year, stuck at Hogwarts, and then she could lock herself in her bedroom to read all summer long.