Author's Notes: March 2020
Hello, Readers.
This is my first fanfiction, but after 4 years, 27 chapters, and 260k+ words, I'm gradually getting better at this writing project. It may be a bit 'rough' at times (especially early chapters), but I hope you enjoy the story and that my writing continues to remain enjoyable as the story unfolds.
The story updates about 4 times a year due the time it takes to research for each chapter and real life responsibilities that limit my ability to work on the project. Usually, I can only work between 10pm and 12am.
Why do I make each chapter so difficult to write? Because you guys are worth the effort!
What's the best way to motivate a fanfic writer to write? To leave a review! Please let me know how I'm doing - especially if you have requests for specific missions or events as the story outline is still open for ideas and changes. If I like what you suggest, I'll give you a shout-out in the story.
Story status is on my profile page for info on the next chapter and schedule
This chapter re-written with the great help of Rodsantos, please go read his great WW2 + Avatar crossover story "Operation Eclipse". Its a fun mix of a ww2 fleet encountering the world of Airbender.
Nightmares
The crack of and pop of rifles and pistols at the range had become a familiar sound to her over the months of training. She smiles to herself as she tenses, and then squeezes the trigger of the large Lee Enfield rifle. A moment later, the watermelon sitting a thousand yards away explodes.
"Hit!"
Human weapons might be primitive and crude, but mastering their use, hitting targets, maintaining the weapon and becoming one with it; it was definitely something to be proud of.
The howling of the wind as it spills through openings in the aircraft's thin skin drowns out the roar of the engines. Suddenly, she's tumbling, falling towards the opening and the abyss beyond. At the last moment, a strong arm reaches out to grab her uniform and yanks her back to safety.
"Gotcha!" Her rescuer smiles at her.
She's safe for now, but she'll never get used to these flying contraptions the humans use. They always feel like they are ready to fall apart.
Bar songs ring in her ears, men belting out a chorus of debauchery with kegs of ale held high, a last light moment before the big battle, one last celebration of their young lives and close bonds they share, almost like family. The party ends and everyone goes their separate ways. Some would never return. She misses them, always, her friends, her brothers in arms.
Stars, she misses them.
She is as quiet as the drifting fog in the night, as still and cold as the earth. The Lee Enfield is pushing tightly against her shoulder as she centers her target under the crosshairs. The crack of the rifle splits the silence of the night. The colonel's head explodes, and the soldiers around him scatter into cover. Her companions confirm the kill, and they soon retreat.
She's surprised by how easy it's become, killing humans in the name of world peace. What has she turned into? What would they say back home?
The whistling of shells and earth-shaking blasts of heavy artillery threaten swift death to any caught in the open, but not for her. She is nigh-invulnerable, so long as her gem remains intact. If anything happens, she will just reform in a few hours, ready to continue just as before.
A loud KRUMP! announces the impact of another shell, this one close enough to shake the foxhole.
She peeks out hesitantly. The men on the other side of the camp are gone, and all that remains of them are the smoking ruins and the stench of burned flesh filling the air.
His eyes are staring back into hers as the life in them slowly drains away. His lips move, but she can hear no words. He silently pleads for her to speak the word she couldn't say . The grip he holds on her shirt slackens, and his body goes still. The eyes, she'll never forget those eyes, fall empty and lifeless.
Overcome with grief, she screams.
Rose's face fills her world, commanding her attention. She can't look away, no matter how much she wants to. All around her is sorrow and tears, broken promises, broken oaths. She has betrayed everything she ever fought for, everything she had stood for... and for what?
"Traitor to your ideals!" shouts a voice from somewhere out in the void.
"I'm sorry!" she calls back, her voice raw and stark.
"You broke your oath!" the voice thunders, this time sounding more like Rose.
"I had to!" she retorts but her confidence is an illusion.
"You would kill those you swore to protect! you're a killer, a murderer, a butcher!" Rose's voice roars, filled with venom and hatred.
"This was different, necessary! They would have destroyed themselves! We'd have lost everything!" she sobs. Her strength is gone, and she collapses to the cold floor. "Forgive me, Rose! Please forgive me! ROSE!"
Pearl woke with a scream, her breaths coming fast and shallow as adrenaline surges through her system. Slowly, in small steps, she began to regain control of her senses and mind. Soon she was able to lay down again, but she was still too wound up to resume meditation.
The idea of sleep was still new to her, though a surprisingly good one. The experience with Steven all those months ago had introduced her to the concept, and after particularly tiresome days, she would sleep to recharge faster than meditation alone could. She would retreat to her room to lay in the cool pools of water and let the gentle sound of the water ease soothe her into a deep rest.
But these nightmares that had developed lately were getting worse. Perhaps it was time to give up sleeping again.
Sighing to herself, Pearl stood up and headed for the gem-door to start the day.
Present Day - Beach City - Buddwick Public Library
Spending a hot summer afternoon at the library with Connie sounded like a great idea to Steven. After their first visit there, reading through the Buddwick journal, they had become a regular sight among the shelves.
Steven liked looking through histories of civilizations, mythology, and nations, plus the odd work of fiction. Occasionally he would come across references to the Crystal Gems or ancient Gem Constructs, which delighted him to find but weren't all that surprising. After all, their presence on earth had spanned thousands of years.
On this particular day, Connie was reading up on the events of the Second World War, looking to get ahead of her class on history. Across the aisle, Steven clutched a Tom Clancy novel, an amazed grin stretched across his face.
"Wow!" Steven exclaimed as he thumbed through Red Storm Rising. "This is super intense! Connie, you've got to read this when you're done with that history book. This book has everything from great sea battles to crazy tank shootouts, and even …"
The librarian looked up from her desk and let loose a loud "sssssshhhh", glowering at the two children.
"Sorry," whispered Steven, frowning. Connie didn't even seem to have heard him. He glanced over at her. She was presently nose-deep in a thick hardcover titled The Second World War in Pictures. "Connie, if you get any closer to that book, it'll become part of your did you find?"
After a few moments, Connie slowly raised her eyes from the book, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open. The shocked expression on her face gradually softened when she saw the concerned look Steven was giving her.
"Steven, do you see what I see? I need to know if I'm imagining things." She turned the book to him so he could see the one of the large black and white photographs inside. "Look at the soldier in the back, off to the left. Don't they look familiar to you?"
Taking the book from Connie, Steven read the title below it, then studied the picture more closely. The photo depicted some Allied soldiers standing atop a burnt-out bunker, all of them in filthy uniforms and looking exhausted, but triumphant. The description read Special Air Service commandos after a raid on an Italian supply depot in Libya, December 1942.
"You're going to have to point this out for me Connie. It's an interesting picture but what…..oh, oh wow! Now I see it. Is that who I think it is?" Steven's eyes widened as the implications of the figure in the photo became apparent. "That's Pearl, isn't it! What's Pearl doing in a photo in a World War Two history book?"
"SSSSSSSHHHHHHH!"snapped the librarian at the front desk once again, and a few other patrons glowered at them.
Taking the book back from Steven, Connie began hastily flipping through pages for other instances of Pearl. "Steven, has Pearl ever talked about this with you? I mean, she teaches us how to fight, but I don't think she's ever mentioned it once."
"I...I don't think so. I mean, she sometimes just stays in her room for hours, or goes out on her own for a day or two just to be alone.." replied Steven thoughtfully as he reached for another book in Connie's study pile. "Garnet says she's just meditating or needs time to think. Amethyst just avoids the subject.
"Let's check through the other books and do some online searches; surely a Crystal Gem being involved in such a war would generate some news and more pictures" suggested Connie brightly, eager to investigate this new mystery, her homework project now forgotten.
The search online and the other books had produced only a few more photos of Pearl and some legends of famous soldiers that partly fit her description. Among the pictures was one from North Africa, where a shadowy figure resembling Pearl was seen in the background firing a rocket at an advancing German tank. Another possible sighting, taken in Britain, showed her working to repair a large aircraft at a damaged airfield.
The last was clearly her, and Steven's gut twisted at the sight. It was in color, a rare occurrence, but the extra detail only served to make the image more horrifying.
Pearl cradled the shredded body of a young man, her brown uniform covered in blood. A look of utter agony was cast on her face as the soldier was surely bleeding to death in her arms. SAS commandos under heavy fire, Operation Loyton, 1944.
After that she seemed to disappear from the records. There were no more pictures that could be found, or even vague mentions in the deepest recesses of the internet.
It was dark and heading towards late evening when Connie's parents picked her up from the library. In a back alley, Steven leapt up onto Lion's back and prepared for the hair-raising warp ride back to Beach City.
The portal opened to a darkened house. Steven looked about for a moment, bewildered, but soon found a yellow note pinned to the counter:
Dear Steven,
We heard reports of corrupted gems up north. Unfortunately, there was no time to find you, because we had to set off immediately. Don't worry, this is just a routine mission. Dinner is in the refrigerator if you're hungry.
Love, Pearl
So, they were out. That was fine with him. He had a lot of thinking to do, and the quiet would give him time to get a little more research in to try and find some answers.
Beach House
It was two in the morning when the warp pad activated. The trio of Crystal Gems stepped off the platform and into the beachhouse, dirty, frustrated, and exhausted. The search had gone fruitlessly on for hours.
"I told you, we should have gone east!" complained Amethyst loudly. "We wouldn't have wasted so many hours wandering the forest and maybe could've found something."
"It was far more likely that the monster went north." Garnet adjusted her visor, left askew by a stray branch.
"These things are supposed to be unpredictable, Garnet. You've just got to go with your gut with them."
"Hush," hissed Pearl, "Steven's sleeping. Why don't you two head into the temple to recover? I'm going to go make sure he's tucked in, then I'll follow after you."
"Sounds like a plan to me." said Garnet before turning to the Gem Door, dragging a struggling Amethyst behind her.
Pearl sighed and headed up to the loft where Steven was sleeping. Seeing the pile of books he was surrounded by and the history channel the TV was tuned to, she figured that he must have been doing some kind of history lesson with Connie.
Gently, she pulled Steven up in her arms, placing him down in bed gently, then tucked in the covers around him. Sitting back, she smiled warmly at her young charge, enjoying the simple, innocent slumber of the unburdened. At least there was someone who could rest without turmoil.
After a few minutes, it was time to tidy up the study mess. She leaned over to shut off the TV, then turned her attention to the pile of books and papers. Reaching for the first book on top of the pile, Pearl froze in place at the image on the open page.
An image of a young man covered in blood with lifeless eyes, Pearl herself clutching his body close as familiar faces looked on. Her mind was in overdrive, a deluge of memories coursing through at once. Memories of triumph, of joy, of anger, of fear, of hatred, irrepressible like the tide through a broken levee.
Her mind went into shutdown in a failed effort to try and process it all. She tried to stand, but her legs betrayed her. She stumbled off the side of the loft, landing on the floor in a heap.
"Pearl? Are you okay?" Garnet as she emerged from the Gem Door, hurrying over to check on her friend, who by now had struggled to a sitting position on the couch.
Pearl looked up, pain in her eyes. She gestured to the books on Steven's bed for Garnet to see, unable to speak, stumbling over her words. It was a few moments until she could pull her thoughts together.
"He knows."
Carefully, so as to not disturb Steven, Garnet craned her neck at the scattered books, frowning at what she saw. And in a moment, she calculated the million implications of what it meant for her oldest of friends.
"It was bound to happen eventually," Garnet's voice was gentle. "Get some rest and we'll figure out how to explain this to Steven before he wakes up in the morning."
Pearl floated in the center of the pool in her room, hearing the waterfalls around her, trying to let the soothing rush of the flowing water wash over her and calm her nerves.
It had been nearly eighty years since the war had ended and Pearl made the transition back to her life as a Crystal Gem. Those years, so few by Gem standards, had left their mark on her soul. Try as she might to bury the most worst of the memories, some would inevitably surface, as they had today.
On days like this, she would retreat into her room to just lie in the water. or use the warps to go somewhere peaceful to meditate. Usually, her methods worked and she would be back to normal after a few hours. Today was different.
Steven knew.
It was probably Connie's doing; she had been studying American history these last few days and Steven had been reading along with her to fill in his knowledge.
"Garnet's right." she sighed to herself, Steven was going to find out eventually, Pearl had just hoped that it wouldn't be so soon so she could have more time to prepare. Nothing for it now, if Steven brings it up, she'll just have to accept it and at long last confront her memories.
In the morning, Steven woke to the pleasant aroma of waffles, eggs, bacon, and hash-browns wafting through the beach house. Finally opening his eyes, he examined his sleeping area to find that his loft was all cleaned up; the DVDs and books from the previous night's study stacked neatly on the shelf.
Looking down to the kitchen Steven, saw Pearl smiling and humming to herself. Seeing him awake, she beamed even wider.
"Morning, Steven! Breakfast is ready when you are. I hope you don't mind, but I helped clean up and organize your study materials last night."
"Thanks, Pearl, breakfast sounds great!" replied Steven brightly. The smell of the delicious breakfast worked better than coffee to wake the young boy up. "You know, I have some questions for you later, when you're ready…."
Garnet had left by herself in the early afternoon via Warp Pad to check on more corrupted Gem activity. Bored, Amethyst went to get donuts and hang around town. Once again, the house was quiet and empty.
Steven was out on his own errand, looking for Pearl to ask her about those old photos. It was an easy task. As it turned out, he found her up on the laundry arm busying herself by hanging out his clothes to dry. Fifty feet off the ground, the star-emblazoned shirts swayed in the light breeze like flags.
"Pearl?" he said hesitantly.
"Yes, Steven? Is there something I can help you with?" asked Pearl with some trepidation. The unease from last night was returning, threatening to overwhelm her. Still, she put on a brave smile. not wanting him to see her in pain.
"Yeah, there is, actually," replied Steven "You see, I was at the library yesterday with Connie studying American history when we found this old book about World War Two."
Pearl's smile faltered. Her eyes softened and a heavy burden seemed to settle itself on her shoulders, its weight pressing down on her as she sank to her knees.
"Pearl? Pearl, what's wrong?" cried Steven frantically. "Did I say something that hurt you? Please tell me, I'm here for you!"
In response she reached out and pulled Steven into a hug, burying her face into his curly hair as she fought back tears. "Steven, there's a lot you don't know about me and the history of Gems on earth. Much of it isn't pretty. I have some dark experiences that I've tried hard to forget. By human standards, they all happened long, long ago. But for me, those memories seem as fresh as they day they were made."
Steven held Pearl tightly, his own tears pooling in his eyes. He hadn't meant to cause her this pain, but he was determined to help her recover from it and heal. Pulling away, he reached out to help pull Pearl to her feet.
"I know what the history books say, but I don't know what happened to you in the war. It must've been horrible. I've never seen you look so down and out like this before." He began to lead her down the path to the temple, a reassuring hand on her arm.. "I really don't know much about these kinds of things, but Dad says that sometimes the best cure is to just talk about it and share the story. You don't have to bear that pain alone, we're all here to help you, I'm here to help you and I'd really like to hear your story."
Pearl was hesitant, afraid of destroying his outlook, as he was ignorant of the extent of evil in this world. But there was determination in those eyes. He wouldn't be letting this topic go until he was satisfied that she was going to be okay, that she had healed.
"Okay," she said at last. "Steven, I'll take you up on your offer, but I'm going to need you to ask your father. Some of this could be a bit disturbing for someone your age."
Steven stopped walking and looked up at her. "You forget who you're talking to. I'm fourteen, I watch R-rated movies with Dad sometimes, and I've been on several pretty violent Gem Missions. I'm sure I can handle it."
Pearl gazed down at the young boy and shrugged. Well, if he wants to see the darkness so badly... "Alright, then, I'll tell you the whole story, but you need to let me know if it gets too much. It's bad enough that one of us has emotional scars. We don't need another one."
Nodding his understanding, Steven took off at a run. Greg's car wash was some distance away, and he'd be gone awhile. Pearl watched him go, kicking up sand from the beach in his enthusiasm. Then she turned away silently, slowly trudging back into the Temple.
That went better than I predicted, she thought as the door to her room slid open. The refreshing pools within beckoned to her. Steven's still so innocent. But maybe, just maybe, talking will help.
The next weekend
Convincing Connie's parents to allow her to go was easy enough. After all, an opportunity to speak with someone with firsthand knowledge of the history was a rare opportunity. Plus she could use it for her report to boost her grades, especially if she was able catch a mistake in the history books and earn extra points.
The three were on the beach house patio. Steven held a platter of jam with biscuits for them to munch on, while Connie balanced a laptop and a packet of durian juice on her knees.
"It's great to have you, children. Connie, are you ready to take notes? Steven, you too. You may as well learn something from all this. We have lagged a bit in covering the human history side of your education."
Itching to get started Connie practically shouted her enthusiasm. "Yes, ma'am! I've been looking forward to this ever since Steven's phone call. You must have so many stories and adventures, and..and...Pearl? Are you okay?"
Pearl's smile had vanished. In its place was the stern expression of full teacher mode. A moment passed before Pearl's gemstone began to glow, and a large long object began to emerge. Then the light faded, revealing the intimidating form of a large rifle grasped in her hands. Though dinged, scratched, and dented in places, there was not a single speck of dirt or rust on its surface. It had been meticulously cleaned and maintained.
Connie's and Steven's eyes went wide at the site of the imposing weapon. Connie pointed at it.
"I recognize that gun! That's the one you're holding in that photo of you standing on top of an Italian bunker in Libya!"
Pearl nodded in confirmation as she spoke in a quiet tone. "This is a Lee-Enfield No 4 Mk 1 sniper rifle of British origin. I wasn't allowed to use my Gem weapons during the war...more on that later, kids…. so I learned how to use this in combat."
Steven leaned forward to examine the rifle's long stock and noticed a couple dozen notches in the wood. "What are all those marks along the side of the gun?"
Pearl appeared even more downcast. "Those are kills, Steven. Each notch represents an enemy officer who I shot at long range, and some other soldiers too. For a time I kept track, but as the war went on, I gave up."
Steven looked up from the notches on the old weapon to Pearl and saw the same sadness in her eyes from when they had spoken a few days ago, on the arm of the statue. "So that's why you were afraid to tell me about the war? Because you went against what Mom ordered? Because you fought in our wars and killed humans?" Steven was quiet for a moment before going on. "But why did you join up? Why did you go against what Mom wanted, why did...why did you keep the rifle?" He placed his hand on the old weapon and could almost feel the history and memories held within it.
"Though this rifle holds many painful memories, it's also a touchstone to my past and a reminder of what I fought for. Every time I look at it, I remember the friends I had and bonds made during the war. Not all those memories are bad ones, Steven, even in war.
"But the point, children, is that as much as these are stories of adventure to you, to me it reminds me of real pain, of lost friends and the horrors of warfare, especially human warfare. Please keep that in mind."
Connie and Steven locked eyes for a moment, then nodded together.
"We understand, ma'am," said Connie, "But you'll have to forgive us kids if we get swept up in the adventure side of things. I mean, who doesn't get excited over an adventure story!"
"I can understand that." Pearl's smile returned in full."I know you have lots of questions, especially as to why I chose to participate in the war and break Rose's orders… The answer to that is a long one. You'll find your answers as this story develops." Peal paused a moment, "So, where should we begin? Connie, you're the one doing the history lesson. Please give me a prompt to get started."
Connie didn't need to think before blurting out her answer. "At the beginning, of course! How did you even get involved at all? What started your desire to fight in the war?
Pearl closed her eyes, putting herself back on that chilly spring morning eight decades in the past.
"It was the Fourth of February, 1938. Rose asked us to go out and socialize more with the humans in town. Amethyst came and pulled me out of the local Soda Pop shop for a mission to Tibet..."
Special thanks to Rodsantos for his help re-writing this chapter to clean up a mess of typos, run-on sentences and stale narrative threads. His own story "Operation Eclipse" is very well written crossover of WW2 and Avatar filled with interesting characters and action.
Garouge-Faux, whose fanfiction 'Pearl vs Life' has been an inspiration for me to launch my own fanfiction; he's a very active and capable writer. Go read his stuff!
Mein Kapatin for his help with research, moral support, encouragement, editing, and story ideas for the first half of the series. His cross-over story is a fun mix of Battlefield and Steven Universe.
Reader VOX over at Tumblr account 'voxdrawstuff', who has made fan-art to bring life to the story.
Fellow author MarquisObsurite for his help with chapter reviews (go read his story, 'Lacrimosa', it's quite good). And finally to everyone who has followed, reviewed, supported and generally made this fun to write.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story.
Here is the first historical fact:
* The Lee–Enfield bolt-action, magazine-fed, repeating rifle was the main firearm used by the military forces of the British Empire and Commonwealth during the first half of the 20th century. It was the British Army's standard rifle from its official adoption in 1895 until 1957.