Memory - Part 1

Pain.

An all over pain across everything she knew. All she could feel. Her very first memory, before she could walk, talk or do any more than scream. The first memory she could recall was the pain; in her face and across her whole body. Pain coursing through her whole body, like she was being torn apart, unable to breathe, screaming in utter agony. It seemed endless, going on forever and ever beyond what she could take. She was sure she would die if this kept up. There was a flash of green flames, a tall figure swathed in red hovered over her, a voice speaking words she didn't understand.

Then there was another face, closer, looking with dark eyes in worry as the child writhed and screamed and waved her chubby fists around in protest. Anything to stop the pain, to stop the torment.

She became aware of a sound… more crying, more screaming, but not from her own mouth. Her vision was blurry, she could not see properly, the torment making her unable to process anything around her clearly. Even the figures above her were blurred. Beside her saw only red and flashes of green to accompany the screams; the tiny babe reached out for the sound. She felt something warm touch her hand, and the pain seemed to ease, a warmth swelled in her, and the pain was gone. So too did the screams she heard. After that, the memory faded.

The next memory was some time later, she saw the flashes of that green and felt a pressure rise inside her. It was a strange power. It was weak, a flicker, like a candle flame. The next thing she knew was the strange power pulling at her, and following it to its source. A boy, one of the brothers, with the Great Mother Talzin. She watched in awe as he managed to move the small rocks before him without touching them. She approached, soft little feet tapping on the stone floor. The boy looked at her, his grey eyes meeting her deep blue ones. He looked curious as she sat beside him, Mother Talzin looking on curiously. She tried to mimic what he had done, but she was only able to make the small pebble rise.

"You're good." she grinned at him, not yet at a stage of putting words together well, but he understood; his red skin covered in black markings shifting on his face, his brows rising as he watched her. She studied his face with interest, her own markings, dusty grey on her pale skin as she beamed.

"It seems you have the power too, child." Talzin murmured above them.

"Can I learn?" the girl asked, looking up at the Great Mother. Would she be as good as this boy? He seemed to be able to do amazing things already.

"Perhaps, but you will need to practice, little one." she nodded. The girl zabrak looked at the boy with a bright and excited smile, while he seemed more unsure.

"I am called Zaiya." she told him and held out a hand.

"I am called Maul." he replied, and returned her gesture. Zaiya leaned forward and rested her forehead on his for a moment, her hand resting on the back of his head just below his stumpy horns. Something she had learned from her birthmother.

"What's that?" He asked.

"I like you." She said simply. "Like Mama." Her mother had taught her how to do that to show affection towards another, she did not understand, but the boy was special, and he was very pretty. She liked him very much already. She liked her Mama too, so it made sense to her. Talzin, however, scoffed.

"He is a male, little one, there is no need for such an honourable greeting." Zaiya looked up as she lowered her hand, confused and annoyed. That didn't make sense to her, but she did know she wanted to learn to do what he could, and squeezed his little red and black hand as they turned back to the stones.

She learned more of the power as time went on, and though she later learned that he would have to live in the male camp once he got older, but until then, they were allowed to spend time together. She found herself following him around the village most days, walking through the twisting pathways, lingering near the glowing river that surrounded the underground Nightsister village. Sometimes they even ventured to the red fog marshlands. Hiding and testing their abilities through the tall flora and huge twisting vines and roots of the surface beyond the main temple. He scoffed at her annoyedly, trying to muster up enough of his power to push her away, or lose her in the marshes; though most of the time she found him again after a short time, somehow always managing to know where he was.

As they got a little older, Talzin had two more sons, smaller and weaker, they had yellow skin and looked like little grubs. Zaiya first thought so when she saw the baby Savage. He was wrinkled and wiggled around a lot. But then he opened his eyes. They were the same glowing eyes as her friend Maul had. She felt her hearts ache and knew that she would have to be friends with the little brother too.

So when Feral was born, she already knew she would have to accept him, no matter what. He was less wrinkled, and his eyes even bigger. She had laughed when Maul said he looked like a bug with eyes that big. She took to carrying the baby around as best she could wherever she went. Savage, having just learned to walk, toddling after her. Maul seemed to find it annoying when they had to drag them along. She just held Feral up into his face with a giggle.

"But look how cute he is!" Feral reached up to try and touch Maul's face. The young Zabrak was surprised but didn't pull away, letting the baby explore his face and horns with his tiny hands. "See? He wants to be with his big brother!"

"He's not cute." Maul huffed.

"Of course he is! He looks like you!" Zaiya retorted proudly, jutting her chin up. Maul's red skin became a little darker and he took Feral, holding the small child against him easily. He turned away while mumbling about how Zaiya might drop him. She just grinned and picked up the little Savage that clung to the hem of her tunic.

The children trained everyday, not just with their magic, but how to fight as well, even though they were small, they had to learn to defend themselves early, their home was not the safest place for a child. Not just because of the flora and fauna, but also because the elder Nightsisters were powerful, and it became apparent that they did not treat brothers the same as the Sisters. Maul was not given the same allowances that Zaiya was, though she noticed that he was far stronger with the strange magic. It wasn't the green smoke type of magic she and the other Nightsisters used, it was invisible, and she could feel it inside, some sort of strange push and pull when he used the power. She could not understand how he was not praised for it as she was, it was clear to her he was stronger, and he was clever too. This did not make sense to the young Nightsister, and she noticed the look in his ashen eyes when they spoke to him, the flash of anger.

Training was always rigorous, one of the strongest Nightsisters, Battlemaster Sheena had been training the younger Sisters in combat, no one had been able to defeat her that Zaiya had seen. Though the males were trained by other Nightbrothers, Sheena had organised to pit some of the younger brothers and sisters against the older ones, a completely unfair battle, to just humiliate them all it seemed. Strength was important to the Nightsisters, Zaiya quickly learned. If you were weak, you would suffer. The times when Zaiya failed a task, she was punished severely, but it was nothing compared to the beatings she saw the Nightbrothers receive. It didn't make sense. They were trying very hard as well? Some of them were so strong already!

If she dared to ask anyone but her birthmother she was sneered at or scorned for caring. Her mother, Tialli would tell her it was because males on Dathomir were weak. Though that didn't make sense to her either.

One night, the young brother sat alone, outside of the light of the fire, a tired expression on his face. He was different to the other males, no one had the same red skin as he did, even his brothers had more yellow tones. She wondered why he was so different, it was the same crimson as the earth below them, and the same crimson of the anointed Nightsister robes, it had to all be connected. It had to mean he was special.

She watched him, taking an extra serving of dinner over to the boy. He still looked angry, having been scolded earlier and humiliated in losing a fight with one of the older males.

"I got you some food." She suggested, padding over on the bare stone.

"I don't want it." He muttered, refusing to look at her.

"You fought really hard today, you will need your strength for tomorrow." She insisted, shifting to sit on the bench beside him. She laid her bowl next to her and offered the bowl in her other hand to her friend. "Come on-"

"I don't want it!" he snarled, slapping her hand away, the bowl of hot meat pieces and liquid spilling all over her pale arms and the stone of the floor. Zaiya let out a gasp of pain, causing Maul to freeze in place, another sister approached a moment later in response..

"Did this male attack you?!" she snapped, eyeing the Nightbrother with a glare.

"Ah-no!" Zaiya stepped between them, "I just spilled it, it's my fault." she insisted. The sister looked displeased, but turned away with a scoff.

"You spend too much time with these males, child." she insisted, but stalked off. Zaiya's expression dropped as soon as the sister turned away, making a face at the woman before looking back to the mess. Maul was staring at her.

"Why did you do that?" he asked accusingly.

"Because… it was just an accident." She shrugged, not really sure for a moment, then let out a sigh, scowling and looking back at him. "Besides, they don't treat you right! You were great today and you are so strong, they expected you to fight the older males, it's just…" She let out a growl, then winced, looking down at her arm. It still stung. Her companion sighed, and stepped over to a nearby barrel of water, fetching a cloth and gently wiping her arm down. She winced slightly, but let him, then helped him clean up the mess as best they could.

"You can't protect me forever." He grumbled, "And I don't need it! I will get stronger on my own!" he insisted, eyes flashing in anger.

"I know, you are so strong, but… I can help you sometimes, especially when they are being so… so…." She growled again, though her anger was interrupted by a chuckle from the zabrak. Zaiya looked up, confused at the little smile on his lips.

"It can't be so bad, if I have someone like you looking after me, anything I can't handle, I suppose you can help with." He smirked, shaking his head. Her smile returned, and suddenly the scalding pain on her arm wasn't so bad.

"I will, I promise." She swore, a determined look in her eye. "Now, my arm still hurts, so you have to eat." The boy blinked, not understanding her logic, but she didn't care, taking up the other bowl and offering to him.

"But… what about yours?" he asked her, tilting his head.

"I guess we will have to share," she giggled, he frowned at her and she just laughed again. "Should have thought about that before you got all mad." She shifted to sit beside him with a bright smile.

"No other sister is like you." He muttered, though it didn't seem to be a compliment, there was just a sense of confusion in his words. Zaiya just looked at him, it was not the first time she had been told that, so she just shrugged, and held out the fork to him, a piece of meat on the end of the utensil.

"Well, when I take the trial and become a true Nightsister, then they will have to put up with my strangeness." She huffed, Maul shook his head, begrudgingly taking the fork and sharing the bowl they had.

Zaiya would hear that often, that she was unlike the others. She heard whispers when she passed, snickers and laughter about the 'Half-sister' the 'half caste'. Zaiya didn't know what it meant. Was that why she looked so different? Her nose and face were rounder, less angled than the other sisters, and her body was more solid than the willowy sisters. Her eyes were a deep blue, not light, her hair was white yes, but thicker, less straight. She seemed to be more energetic and brighter than her sisters too, she was getting used to the mentions of her odd behaviour, but she couldn't help but feel a little out of place. Was she not meant to enjoy the smiles of her sisters? Was it so bad that she would make Feral laugh so hard he got the hiccups? She liked to spend time with the three brothers, though it seemed not all the sisters and Dathomiri women agreed with it.

She suspected her mother knew why, but would never tell her.

"Why am I different?" Zaiya would ask. "Am I bad?" She couldn't understand. But Tailli would hold her and tell her that she was perfect, she might be different, but not less. It was around this time that the Great Mother took an interest in her. She would see her mother less, spending more time in the temple, training her magic. With this new training, some of the other sisters started being nicer to her, and she wondered if her mother was wrong. The more she was like the other Nightsister, and was stronger and trained with Talzin, the more she was accepted. Perhaps her mother had been trying to keep her weak? She didn't know.

When not training, most of her days were spent with Maul, especially after he had been spared punishment because of her, the zabrak boy seemed to tolerate her a little more with each passing day. She even saw him laugh once and stopped what she was doing, proclaiming -very enthusiastically- that it must be marked as a holy day. He rolled his eyes and just walked away, scoffing, he didn't dare show the little smirk at the corner of his mouth.

For Maul himself, he had mixed feelings about the weird girl, she was not like her sisters, and noticed she never called him 'brother' as she did for his younger siblings or some of the other males. She always used his name. Like it was special or something. He didn't understand the way she thought. Did the Sister find her interesting because there were no other Zabrak the same colour as him? He knew how cruel the Sisters could be, though… she never was. Zaiya seemed to follow him a lot, and at first it had been such a bother, but her singing was pleasant, and even he had to admit it was refreshing to see a smile occasionally. He was of course closest to his brothers, though they seemed too small to really do anything, he could not explain the bond he felt.

One day he had approached, to the now familiar sight of Zaiya sitting with his toddler brothers, and when they noticed him she whispered in Feral's ear. The squat little zabrak rocked up to his feet, and walked his first steps, arms outstretched towards his eldest sibling. Maul was quick to catch the babe, staring at the child in surprise. He had not yet reached the age of one, so did not have the tattoos he or Savage did, his skin still yellow and bright, his big eyes looking up proudly. Maul held the waddling child's hand, petting his head as he led him back to the others.

"He has been waiting all day to show you that." Zaiya beamed, Feral just squawked like some sort of bird.

"He can't talk yet." Maul frowned, folding his arms. "How would you know?"

"I felt it." The female stated with confidence, that usual stupid smile on her face. Though… he was finding that it was more comforting these days. It seemed she was so sure, he couldn't help but believe her. Somehow she could feel Feral's thoughts and… they had been waiting for him? He sat opposite Zaiya and was rather surprised when she passed him some food. It seemed they had been waiting, only wanting to eat when he had arrived. He felt a warmth spread throughout his chest. This was what it felt to be wanted. His eyes drew back up to Zaiya and watched her for a while. She was a curious one, and so determined to follow him around. With a shake of his horned head, he looked down at his food and began to eat, no point in thinking about it now.

After a while, he sat back, leaning on his hands as he gazed up at the sky, beyond the red of the planet was the depth of the star-riddled blackness of space.

"I want to see more of them." Maul stated suddenly. Zaiya glanced up at her friend, then at the sky above.

"Why?" She asked, curiously.

"I heard the other Nightbrothers talking, they said outsiders sometimes come here, and that there are more planets and stars than anyone can count. That there are cities and other creatures and some made of metal." His grey eyes couldn't help but light up as he spoke about it. The female looked up again, seeming to scan the sky more thoroughly.

"There's really all that out there? It seems so… empty." There was a strange tone to her voice.

"You-!" He started, getting frustrated, was she calling him a fool?! Or a liar?! But then he stopped, the look on her face did not have any judgement on it, if anything, her expression was lit up with awe. Her blue eyes sparkling in the low light, she looked like there was a gaze of awe and amazement on her face. Did she… feel it too? "...that's what they said…" he muttered, feeling his face flush with heat.

"It sounds… amazing." Her blue eyes lit up. "Let's go together!" She grinned, meeting his gaze, she suddenly felt so excited. "We can all go, and then we will be so strong that even Sheena can't beat us!" The bright look on her face was undeniable, it was like the greatest gift she had been given was just this information about other worlds. The look on her face mirrored the feeling in his heart, the desire to see the world beyond their scarlet home. The idea settled in his mind, travelling the galaxy, with Zaiya and his brothers, that… that sounded like something to hope for.

"I think you have had a good idea… for once." He chuckled softly, looking back to the stars again. He heard some shuffling beside him, and looked back down. The young zabrak girl had joined him, white hair pooling around her head. She reached into her vest for something. She pulled out the golden amulet, one that showed her allegiance to the Nightsister order, she had yet to take the Crimson, but she was of a powerful line, and the filigree amulet proved it. It was a sacred and powerful symbol. What she did with it stunned him. The female zabrak grasped it in both hands… and snapped it in half.

"What are you doing?!" Maul hissed, she could be in so much trouble for such an act.

"Making a promise." She responded seriously, reaching for a simple leather cord at her waist and looping it through one of the spaces in the amulet. And held the half out to him. "They say you swear on your amulet and it makes an unbreakable oath. So, if I give you half, it's even stronger. I will become a Nightsister, and you will become strong, then we can travel together and maybe we can be in charge. Then we won't have to answer to anyone." She grinned, holding the item out on her palm. His hand hesitated, but he took it carefully, their skin brushing, sending shocks up each of their arms. Both pulled back with a gasp. Each grasping their half of the amulet. They stared at each other in shock.

"I… guess it's a promise." Maul whispered, relaxing after a moment. Zaiya's smile returned after a moment and she smiled, leaning over and kissing his soft cheek gently.

"Good." She beamed, and Maul felt heat rush into his face. She seemed to be good at that.