Arian opened her eyes feeling sluggish and sore. Sunlight warmed her back and shoulders, yet an uncomfortable chill in the air made her snuggle deeper under the blankets. Her hands and cheek felt satin sheets beneath her skin. She remembered wandering the Fade and fighting the monster holding Connor's mind hostage. But, beyond that was just darkness. She couldn't immediately recall where she was, and perhaps that should have troubled her. But, what she saw before her when her vision came into focus drove all anxiety away. Zevran lay beside her, facing her on his side.
Her head rested on his outstretched muscular forearm. His smooth skin blazed with fire, and she instinctively wriggled closer to his body heat. He was asleep, his breathing even and steady. Arian marveled, for she'd never seen him asleep before. He always woke up before her and snuck away in the night, even if they fell asleep together in her tent. His willingness to protect her reputation moved her, but at times she did wish he would stay. She had never imagined she might see him so still, so unguarded. He was always alert, his amber eyes roving over the areas they traveled, his hands ready to pull his daggers out and fight.
This new stillness gave her a rare chance to examine his face. Usually, she couldn't even meet his gaze for too long without blushing. Stars, but he was beautiful. His tanned skin glimmered a soft bronze in the daylight. Rays of sunshine threaded into his golden hair, a thick strand falling across face and twisting on his cheek. Unable to help herself, Arian carefully reached up and traced the mysterious tattoo on his face. She brushed her fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft it was. He really was far too handsome for his own good. Between the fans of his long golden lashes, his high cheekbones, and his aquiline nose, his beauty could have charmed Mythal herself.
How was she supposed to believe that a man like this could truly be interested in someone like her? Compared to Lissa's beauty, Arian felt small and plain. She did not have the Cousland heir's long slender legs, her voluptuous curves, or her uncommon fire red hair. An uncomfortable thought occurred to her, then. Alistair and Zevran had expressed their interest in her, but who were they seeing when they looked at her? Were they truly interested in Arian? Or was it Elissa's face they saw when they thought of her? At times, Arian no longer knew who she really was herself. She'd started taking off the amulet more often, but sometimes she didn't even recognize her own face in her reflection.
"Hmm," Zevran hummed, startling her. "I would say that something is worrying you." She looked up to see his amber eyes scrutinizing her, sparkling with mischief. "You have quite a line forming between those little brows of yours."
"Zevran, you were awake?"
His lips curved up on one side in a playful smile. It was a special smile, one he used only when they were this close.
"For...how long?" she asked, mortified.
"You were clearly so enraptured, my dear. I did not want to interrupt your exploration of my features."
Arian started when his hand whipped out and grabbed her around her back. She let out a squeak of surprise when he pulled her in close, so close she thought she might not be able to breathe. He scent enveloped her, masculine and woodsy. It reminded her of warm campfires and nights spent stargazing on a bed of soft grass.
"Now tell me. What could possibly be troubling my Warden on this fine morning?"
She tried to wriggle out of his hold, but he wrapped his legs around her with a chuckle.
"Zevran...um...let go, please. Where are we? If someone sees us..."
"Sten has not slept for two days to make sure nobody enters this room," Zevran said, his tone jovial. "It's amazing, really, how devoted he is."
"What?" she whispered, suddenly self-conscious. They were in Sten's chambers? Well, it made sense considering she and Strezark had begun the ritual here, but then how did Zevran get in if Sten was guarding the outside?
"I can see the question if your eyes, but do you honestly believe a door could keep the great Zevran out?"
It was too easy to forget that the man holding her was a trained killer and master of shadows. Too easy when he held her so carefully, when just a single touch from his skilled hands could make her melt into a puddle in his arms.
Like now.
At first, she thought it wasn't intentional, but all too quickly Arian realized the way his knuckles brushed against her breasts was no accident. Each whisper of his fingers against her clothes sent sparks of lightning shooting up her back from her toes to her core. She bit her lip, and her head snapped up to look at him. His special smile grew wider.
"What is it?" he smirked.
"Zevran, we can't...not here..."
"Hmm? Can't what?" When she didn't answer, he leaned in until his lips were right by her ear. She shivered when his breath tickled the fine hairs around it. "Are you having some dirty thoughts, mio amore?"
The way his husky baritone lowered when he said the last words - the way his tongue slipped and rolled around that Antivan phrase - made her thoughts run wild. She couldn't help but close her eyes when a wave of desire rushed through her entire body. Arian was half tempted to ask him to say more in his native language, but she worried about what it might do to her sensibilities.
"Mio amore," she repeated after him breathlessly, tasting the word. His tone suggested it was an endearment of some kind. His hands paused in their movement, and she peeked up at him. For a second - so fast she must have imagined it - a faint pink blush colored his cheeks. It vanished in an instant though, and he was right back to being incorrigible. His hands moved more insistently now, popping open the buttons and fastenings of her leather bodice with frightening efficiency.
"Um, Zevran?"
He leaned in, and she thought he might kiss her. But, he moved past her lips to rain kisses on her jaw and neck instead. She clenched her teeth together to keep from making a sound, latching onto his sleeves for dear life. Creators, he was really making it hard to keep her wits together. Was she so weak that all it took was a few touches to break her resolve?
"What if someone comes in?" she breathed. "And I should...mm...let Sten know everything is alright. He's been standing out there for so long and, ah -" Words abandoned her when he licked a hot trail of fire at the spot between her neck and shoulder, culminating the incredible slick sensation with a nip from his teeth. Then he disappeared beneath the blanket. Her clothes were coming off at dizzying speed. Zevran kissed, licked, and loved on every inch he exposed. Arian clutched at his shoulders, his hair, drowning in sensation. It was all she could do to just breathe. She was sure she'd been protesting something. But, all of that was gone now, her mind and body enslaved to the assassin's passionate tongue.
A knock at the door nearly stopped her heart altogether. She froze in place, but Zevran kept undressing her. She nearly squealed when he kissed her navel, grabbing at the sheet so hard she thought she might tear it.
"My Lady?" called an unfamiliar voice. "My Lady, is everything alright?"
What was going on? Where was Sten? Zevran shifted until his face reappeared under the covers, resting his chin on her chest. His hair was tousled from the blankets, and his special smile was more mischievous than ever. He gave her a wink.
"Sten wasn't standing outside?" she whispered and glared at him. Oh, how she wanted to get mad at him for deceiving her. How she wanted to give him a stern reprimand. But, with his gorgeous golden hair mussed, his eyes alight with mirth, and his sensual lips curved into an unrepentant smile, all she could do was puff out her cheeks and release an annoyed breath.
"My Lady?" The damned knocking came again, more insistent this time. "My Lord sent me to check on you. May I come in?"
"Hide, Zevran," Arian hissed. He moved to obey, though not before he leaned in and kissed her senseless. In a heartbeat, he had vanished into the shadows and out the window, leaving her chilled and regretful in the morning mist. Arian found her amulet on the nightstand beside the bed. She quickly donned it and cleared her throat.
"Come in," Arian called.
An elven woman entered. She was tall and curvy for one of their race, her brown hair arranged into a pretty braid on the top of her head. Arl Eamon must have treated his servants well. Her cheeks were rosy, her skin healthy and aglow. She wore a lovely tan colored dress with a frilled white apron tied to her front.
"Thank you, My Lady," she smiled, towing a wheeled cart beside her. Arian smelled something delicious a moment before the elven girl uncovered a steaming plate with a gorgeous meal arrangement. Arian's mouth watered. She wanted so much to thank the girl profusely, but she reigned herself in and responded as a noble would.
"Someone has sent for breakfast," she said calmly, though she wanted nothing more than to jump on the food posthaste.
"Oh, My Lady, you should have called," the girl said, her eyes widening. "I would have come to help you change. I wanted to check on you sooner, but the Master said no - not without express permission, he said. " The girl began fluttering about even as Arian blushed to the roots of her hair when she realized she was half undressed under the covers. She said nothing, allowing the servant to make her own assumptions. Let her think that Lady Cousland, weak after her ordeal, had struggled to put on her clothes herself. It was much better than the alternative.
"What is your name?" Arian asked as the girl helped button and tie her bodice back up.
"I am Lydia."
"Lydia," she repeated. "Thank you for your kindness. Was it Ban Teagan who sent you?"
The elven girl nodded eagerly. "Why, yes, My Lady. We are all so grateful for everything you have done. The Arl's son and this entire castle and village are all safe thanks to you." Her lips pursed out. "We were all so worried for you. So worried."
"I'm quite alright. There really is no need for such a fuss."
"Oh," Lydia curled her hands into fists and made a grand gesture. "There will tales and stories told of this, My Lady. How the beautiful Lady Cousland saved Redcliffe by battling with demons in and out of the Fade."
Arian covered her mouth with her hand, giving her best demure smile. "You exaggerate, I think."
"Oh, and she's humble, too," Lydia gushed. She continued milling about, filling in Arian with everything that had happened in the past few days while the Warden took her meal. How the Qunari had guarded her room and would not even allow Ban Teagan or First Enchanter Irving himself to enter despite their great concern. How the Warden Alistair had given express orders for no one to enter the room unless they had explicit permission. How he visited several times a day to see if she'd awakened.
"I must say, My Lady," Lydia smiled. "The way he spoke and the way he paced outside your door. Why, I would say that handsome young lad is quite taken with you." The girl winked at her. "You are truly blessed, My Lady."
No, Lydia was the blessed one - Arian thought. Blessed with a simple life far away from duty, battle, and the hardship of knowing there was no room in her life for things like love. Blessed because she had more chances of seeing tomorrow than Arian did. Blessed because she could court whomever she wished, never having to worry whether they loved her for who she was or who she pretended to be.
Arian looked around the room, suddenly realizing that she hadn't seen Strezark since waking. She reached out to him through their bond, and felt him somewhere distant. Where had he gone? He rarely strayed so far that she could not speak with him.
"Oh!" Lydia suddenly exclaimed while gathering the dishes. "I nearly forgot to mention the most important thing." She reached into one of the pockets of her apron and pulled out an envelope sealed with wax. She handed it to Arian and curtsied. "If there isn't anything else, My Lady..."
"No. Thank you, Lydia. You may go."
When she was once again alone, Arian sat on a nearby divan and examined the red wax on the parchment. The symbol on it wasn't one she recognized as any of Ferelden's noble houses. Yet, it looked familiar somehow. Picking up a nearby letter opener, she pried open the seal.
Lady Elissa Cousland - it read.
We would be honored if you would meet us three nights hence at the abandoned docks of Redcliffe village. We ask that you come alone and unarmed to conduct negotiations. Please, find within this envelope a token of our good will.
Arian shook the little envelope, and something thick and black fell out onto her lap. She picked it up, and immediately dropped it in shock. It was a clump of Strezark's fur with a bit of hide attached. She set aside the envelope and rubbed her hand on her temple. Who could have possibly taken Strezark? The wolf did not go where he did not wish to. He wasn't a simple animal, after all, but a spirit of the Fade. No mortal could even touch him against his will without serious consequences. The only conclusion she could draw was that he'd wanted to be taken. But, to what end? He would never do anything to put her in danger, which meant this could be some sort of opportunity for her, either as a Gray Warden or as Elissa Cousland.
A sound at the window made her jump a split second before Zevran appeared. He climbed into her room like a lithe panther, disappearing in a trail of smoke and reappearing beside her on the divan. Doing her best to remain calm and keep a neutral expression, Arian set aside the letter and smiled at her lover.
"Do you ever use doors?"
Zevran chuckled, and as her eyes narrowed in on his face, she realized why the symbol in the wax had looked so familiar. It was the same one as Zevran's tattoo.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Over the coming days, Arian resisted the impulse to ask Zevran about the letter. If the Crows had sent it, she worried they might be looking to harm him. On the day she spared his life, he had sworn himself to her. In return, she was to be his shield against the Crows' revenge. When she went to meet them, she had to be alone. If she revealed the situation to Zevran, he would never let her go, and she simply couldn't risk putting him in that kind of danger. He had protected her in many battles, had gone into the Fade to find her, and she would allow nothing to hurt him or take him from her.
Not having Strezark by her side brought forth a new kind of loneliness, exacerbated by her inability to share her worries with anyone. When asked, she simply told her companions that the wolf was prowling about somewhere and would return when he was ready. Arian wasn't concerned for his safety. He could handle himself, though his motives remained a mystery. No matter how hard she tried to reach him, he was silent and absent.
Over the past two days as she prepared to face the Crows in private, Ban Teagan had spoken with the Wardens at length about the importance of finding the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Alistair and Morrigan - especially Morrigan - were skeptical of the request. There were other things they needed to be doing, other places they needed to travel to in order to secure forces against the Blight. Orzammar was leagues away, and the Dalish aravels could have been anywhere. Spending time chasing down a legend seemed wasteful in light of all that. However, if they wanted Arl Eamon's support against Loghain, they had no choice but to seek the miracle cure for his illness. Without Arl Eamon, they stood no chance of reclaiming Ferelden's support against the Blight. Ban Teagan had explained that the Arl had the power and influence to call a Landsmeet, where all of Ferelden's nobility would gather. There, they would be able to speak out against Loghain's treachery.
And there - Arian thought darkly, is where I will find Howe and make him pay for his crimes.
At times, it felt like that day would never come. Their quest to gather an army had seemed within reach back when she and Alistair stood in Flemeth's hut in the Wilds. But with each new complication, that goal seemed to slide farther and farther away. And worse, the Darkspawn weren't waiting. Each day, news of raids and massacres came in waves. Innocents were dying, and unless Arian and Alistair could slay the Archdemon, more would lose their lives and homes to the Blight. With this in mind, Arian did not go out of her way to find Alistair and confront him about what had transpired between them. She feared her own weakness, feared that she would choose to keep loving him despite the importance of their quest.
And so, with a heavy heart, Arian made the decision to set out on the search for the Urn the day after her meeting with the Crows. She had no doubt she could best them with Strezark at her side. She would conquer this challenge as she'd done all others thus far, with courage and grace. No longer was she the little Ari that would hide behind Lissa's skirts, waiting for a chance in the spotlight. She was Elissa Cousland, and her Lissa would never back down from any fight.
The night before the meeting, Arian met Morrigan in her chambers on the east side of the castle. The witch welcomed her with a cool indifference, though Arian could read beneath her mask that she was curious about the reason for her visit. They prepared to sit together at one of the salon chairs, sipping some tea as they spoke. As it turned out, Morrigan enjoyed a secret love of tea made from fresh Dawn Lotus. Arian hadn't hesitated to spend a pretty penny to bring her a fresh bunch for the purpose of this bribery. They passed by a smaller desk where Flemeth's black grimoire lay. Arian wondered if Morrigan had made any progress studying it.
"So," Morrigan drawled when they were settled. "I know this means you want something. Don't be shy, Arianwen. Do tell." The witch was the only one that called her by her full given name. Arian fidgeted in her seat for a moment, tensing when Morrigan's eyes narrowed in a glare.
"Morrigan..."
"That is my name."
"I need a few hours to myself tonight, but I need for everyone to think that I'm still here."
"You plan to leave the castle, I take it."
"Yes. I won't be gone long."
Morrigan took another sip of her tea. "I'm certain 'twas what you believed when you went to save that child in the Fade."
Arian flinched. She couldn't deny the commotion she'd unintentionally caused with that stunt.
"If you'd simply waited and allowed me to go in your place, none of that would have been necessary."
Arian pursed her lips. "Morrigan, I know you. And, I trust you. With my life, even. However, I did not believe that you would have chosen to save Connor had there been too many risks involved." She held out her hands in front of her. "Please, do not think I judge you. You are who you are, and I respect that. But, to me, not saving that child was not an option. Just like sacrificing Isolde was not an option, either."
"Fair enough," the witch sighed. "And so you risked your life, the life Flemeth chose to save, the life you have been given to end the Blight, in order to preserve an insignificant bratling. I suppose I know you well enough to understand 'tis something you would do."
"Despite your disapproval, will you aid me?"
Morrigan held out her hand. "Give it to me, then. And tell me where you need me to be."
Arian gave her the amulet. "Just in the library. If anyone asks, I am researching the Urn before we depart tomorrow."
As Morrigan took the item from her hand, she grasped Arian's wrist. Her eyes grew hard. "I warned you once, Arianwen, that beauty and love have no meaning. Only power. Power and survival have meaning."
Arian hesitated, searching the depths of Morrigan's hypnotic gaze. She always wondered just how much her companion saw and knew. She swallowed past a thick lump in her throat. "I understand..."
"If I feel 'tis better served to tell the truth, I will not cover for you."
Arian nodded. "Of course. I would expect no less. But, truly, I do not think there will be need for your concern. I am simply going to meet Strezark, and he would never lead me into danger."
"So he has gone off on his own, then..."
"In a fashion," Arian sighed. "This is all much too complicated, and it is all happening at the worst of times."
Morrigan sat back and took another sip of her tea. "Whatever your intent, I thank you for bringing this to me." She smiled a little as she drank. "I will accept your bribe, then. Just be back before dawn."