Speaking of losing, when Harry entered the Great Hall and spotted Dolores Umbridge sitting at the staff table, he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. The sight of Fudge's biggest nuisance came as a real blow to Harry, and it felt as if he'd just taken a huge loss right here. Tonks wasn't taking it well either, though she urged Harry to keep calm and take his seat without incident.

"I knew something like this would happen," Tonks said in a whisper, as they made their way across the Hall to the Gryffindor table. "That Slinkhard book was a dead giveaway."

Harry tried to ignore the whispers and stares as he passed the Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff tables. The Slytherins were the most vocal with their hushed 'advice' for Maia Leroux to seek better company, though Tonks ignored them. She followed Harry to the far end of the Gryffindor table and took a seat between him and Hermione, with Neville and Ron sitting opposite them. Parvati Patil and the others immediately introduced themselves to Tonks, and were hoping that she'd come to Gryffindor.

"We shall see," said Tonks, speaking in her French accent again (Harry disguised his laugh as a cough). "Oh, look! Eez zat old 'at going to speak?"

"Sing, actually," said Harry, as the Sorting Hat and its stool was brought in by Professor McGonagall. She placed the stool carefully in front of the line of nervous first-years, who were lined up in front of the staff table, facing the rest of the students. "I wonder if it'll be the same song as last year?"

The whole school waited with bated breath. And when the Sorting Hat finally burst into song, it sang a much longer (and sterner) one than before. Harry and Tonks were just as surprised as the rest of the students, as they could not remember the Sorting Hat trying to give the school advice.

"Eenteresting," said Tonks, rubbing her chin. "Vairy eenteresting."

Ron nodded. "Seems to have branched out a bit this year. Maybe it doesn't believe the newspapers about Harry."

"Only an idiot would," said Hermione. She received odd looks from some of the Gryffindors sitting further down the table, and Seamus Finnigan nearby. "What? It's scandalous, to say the least."

Lavender Brown, who was sitting next to Parvati a few seats away, leaned forward and said, "Where's the proof? Let's hear it from the man himself."

"Yeah," said Seamus, nodding. "Me mam says you're full of it, Harry."

Harry was about to respond when he felt Tonks grabbing his arm beneath the table. She whispered 'Not here' in his ear, as if she knew that he was about to go on the attack.

"Save it for later," Tonks whispered. "Preferably in private."

Seamus tilted his head slightly. "What's she whispering there? You spreading your lies to foreign students as well?"

Just then, the Sorting Ceremony began with Professor McGonagall calling up 'Abercrombie, Euan'. The terrified-looking boy was Sorted into Gryffindor, after which he staggered over to the Gryffindor table and sank into his seat. He looked as though he would very much like to sink through the floor and never be looked at again, which was how part of Harry felt as well.

One by one, the rest of the first-years took their seat and were Sorted by the Hat. It ended with 'Zeller, Rose' being Sorted into Hufflepuff, at which Professor McGonagall picked up the Hat and stood and marched them away. Then Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet, and Harry felt an odd mix of bitterness and relief upon seeing the Headmaster. It felt as if he was losing his mind.

"To our newcomers, welcome!" said Dumbledore. He was standing with his arms outstretched, and a warm smile on his face. "To our old hands, welcome back!"

He then proceeded to introduce Tonks (or rather, Maia Leroux), and asked that the students and staff extend every courtesy to their foreign guest. And while Dolores Umbridge was sitting at the edge of her seat, looking as if she would very much like to be introduced as well, Dumbledore ignored her and told everyone to tuck in.

Serves that toad right, Harry thought. He felt a smug sense of satisfaction upon seeing the look of disapproval behind Umbridge's false smile. Meanwhile, Harry's stomach felt its own sense of satisfaction as well, upon seeing the many dishes of food appear on the table.

"C'est magnifique!" said Tonks, clapping her hands together and gasping in delight. "I do love zis Eenglish food! Where eez ze fish and chips?"

Harry and Ron (and even Hermione) tried hard not to laugh. They filled their plates in a hurry and started stuffing themselves, while Tonks basked in the attention given to her by the other students. They were eager to know why she'd chosen to visit Hogwarts at such a 'strange' time (quite a few glances were sent Harry's way), and what year she was in. Tonks kept her heavy accent in flawless condition while responding to the influx of questions, while Harry couldn't help feeling a soothing warmth the longer Tonks spoke.

Maybe I am as mental as the newspapers say, he thought, as he felt a slight shiver run down his spine. It got even worse once Tonks had finished her conversation and turned to speak with him.

"Just so you know, I do not care what ze newspapers say. I am 'ere to learn, and to make friends wiz 'ooever I feel like."

"Good to hear," said Harry. Ron agreed.

"Yeah, the Prophet's full of it anyway." (Seamus shot him a nasty glare.)

"So," said Hermione to Tonks, after swallowing a mouthful of food, "what are your goals in life, Maia? Are you planning on taking the O.W.L.s with us too?"

Tonks looked thoughtful for a moment. "I am theenking about becoming an Auror, or something similar. And as for ze O.W.L.s, zey are not mandatory for me, but I do theenk zey would be a beeg benefit, yes?"

Hermione agreed. Ron groaned.

"Lucky you," he said, stabbing his fork into a piece of chicken on his plate. "Wish they were optional for everyone." (Hermione shot him a disapproving look.) "So, when do you do your big exams, then?"

Tonks explained that students within Beauxbatons's area often took their 'O.W.L.-level' exams in their sixth year, regardless of being homeschooled or not. She reckoned that taking her examinations (or at least, some of them) at Hogwarts would be good practice for back home.

When all the students had finished eating and the noise level began to rise, Dumbledore got to his feet once more. He gave out his usual start-of-term notices, in addition to announcing that Professor Grubbly-Plank would be covering for Hagrid. Then he moved on to introducing Professor Umbridge, though she stood up midway through Dumbledore's Quidditch-tryouts announcement to give her own speech.

"Be quiet," Tonks told Harry and Ron, just as they started criticising Umbridge. "Zis could be vairy eenformative."

Hermione was in full agreement. She and Tonks gave Umbridge their utmost attention during the ensuing speech, though they were in the minority here (over half of the students were beginning to lose focus, and then some more). They fixed their eyes on Umbridge, and watched her like a hawk as she went on and on about all manner of things.

"Let us move forward, then," said Umbridge, at which point nearly all the students had lost interest, "into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability ..."

Harry covered his mouth, and struggled to stifle his yawn.

"... preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected ..."

Harry found his thoughts drifting to Quidditch, and the possibility of making captain someday.

"... pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited."

But then Harry shot a glance at Ron (who was sitting with his right cheek in his right hand, eyes nearly shut), and felt a pang of guilt. Surely it wouldn't be fair on Ron to have two badges, while Ron had none?

Dumbledore clapped at the conclusion of Umbridge's speech, at which point the staff joined in as well (in a half-hearted manner). A few students clapped, but most couldn't care less about whatever had been said. Hermione and Tonks, however, exchanged a quick glance before Tonks reverted to her usual, cheery self.

"'Ow vairy delightful," she said, smiling. "Do zey always give such fancy speeches 'ere?"

"Fortunately not," said Harry, shifting in his chair. "It's not every day we get Ministry workers forcing their way into Hogwarts."

"I agree," said Tonks, with a wicked little grin.

Dumbledore carried on with his announcements, and dismissed the students when he had finished. There was a great clattering and banging all around them as everyone stood up to leave.

"What?" Harry asked, as Hermione gave him a stern look. "Is there something on my face?"

Tonks stood up and smiled. "I believe eet eez your duty to escort ze little children to your common room." Then she lowered her voice as she walked past. "Take their reactions in stride. Don't show that it bothers you."

And with that, Tonks left. Harry proceeded to call over the first-years, and rolled his eyes at their horrified expressions.

"Come on," said Ron, waving the wide-eyed first-years over. "You'd better get moving before he goes mental on you."

"Ron!" said Hermione, shooting him a glare. "That's not funny!"

Fred and George joined in, too. They made a show of tiptoeing past Harry, and ran for the door when he looked at them. Neville, Dean, and a few others laughed.

Gits, Harry thought, with a slight laugh. Then he directed his attention towards the first-years and called them over again. They huddled together as they approached him.

"All right," said Hermione, who the first-years drifted towards. "Let's get one thing straight, Harry Potter is not mad, understood? Don't believe everything you read."

One of the girls asked if Voldemort was truly back. Harry said that now was not the time to discuss such matters (much to Hermione's surprise).

"Let's focus on getting you settled in," Harry said. "Hermione Granger and I will take you up to our common room. Don't stress about memorising every detail along the way, as some of the staircases tend to lead somewhere different on a Friday."

"But that's today!" said another first-year girl. "What if it changes while we're climbing?"

Hermione assured the first-years that everything would be all right. Then she joined Harry in escorting them all the way up to the Fat Lady's corridor, on the seventh floor.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked, smoothing the folds of her pink stain dress.

"Mimbulus Mimbletonia," said Harry. The Fat Lady swung her portrait open like a door, revealing a circular hole in the wall behind. Many of the first-years groaned at having to climb through it.

"Just get in there," Harry said, almost rolling his eyes. Then he leaned closer to Hermione and whispered, "What a bunch of lazy buggers. We definitely weren't this lazy back in first year, right?"

"Thankfully not," Hermione said, with a look of pride on her face. "Then again, we did get into a fair bit of trouble instead."

Harry smiled. He could still remember having lost his hard-earned fifty points from catching the Golden Snitch.

Once inside the common room, Harry plonked himself on one of the dilapidated, squashy armchairs near the fireplace. Few people said anything to him as they passed, and Harry was left with just Ron and Hermione as they waited for Tonks to arrive.

"Are you sure she's going to make Gryffindor?" Ron asked. He gave a wide, shuddering yawn and rubbed his eyes. "For all we know, the Hat might just place her in Slytherin for this whole thing –"

"Not so loud!" Hermione said, in a near-hissing tone. She looked around and saw that they were thankfully alone. "You really ought to learn to shut up, Ron!"

"And you ought to learn to call it quits with that stupid S.P.E.W. thing," said Ron. Hermione went red in the face.

"It's not S.P.E.W.!" she said, clenching her fists. "And it's not stupid!"

Ron yawned again, and so did Harry.

"This is taking forever, mate," Ron said. Then he dropped his voice to a whisper. "Maybe she's going back to Hufflepuff after all. 'Course, that means less time with you."

"That defeats the purpose," said Hermione, after checking that they were alone. "You do remember why she's here, right? And besides, she's probably discussing our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, with Dumbledore. There's something off about that Umbridge woman."

Ron rubbed his chin in an exaggerated manner. "Yeah, I wonder why? I mean, it's not like she tried to get Harry expelled or anything."

Harry clenched his jaw. "You should've seen her at that trial. Can't believe we have to spend an entire year with her."

"Not if something bad happens to her first," said Ron. "Hope she ends up swallowing a venomous fly or something."

"Poisonous, you mean," said Hermione. But she laughed nonetheless. "Have you gone through her textbook yet? It's absurd!"

About fifteen minutes later, Tonks arrived with a Gryffindor scarf around her neck, and a bright smile on her face. She spotted the trio and lowered her voice as she approached.

"Ta-da! I am now officially a traitor to my old 'ouse."

Harry bit back his laugh, and stood up from his armchair. "You can drop the accent in private."

"Nope," said Tonks, shaking her head. Then she looked at Hermione and said, "'Ermione, would you mind showing me to our room?"

"Certainly," said Hermione, though she looked a bit worried. "But wouldn't it be better to have your own? I mean, there's always the possibility of saying something in your sleep or whatever."

"'Mmm." Tonks scratched her right cheek. "I 'ad given zat some zought, and you know what? I theenk I'll do just zat, yes. Let's get going."

"Goodnight, you two," Hermione said to Ron and Harry. And as for Tonks, she patted Harry on the shoulder as she walked past. Harry heard Ron yawn again, and decided to head for their dormitory.

"Something tells me this is going to be one mental year," Ron said, as they climbed the staircase up to the boys' dormitories. "Could be our finest one yet."

Harry snorted. "Maybe Voldemort will swing in through a window or something."

When Harry and Ron reached their dormitory, they were hardly surprised to find Seamus giving them the cold shoulder. Seamus pulled the hangings of his four-poster bed shut immediately, and climbed into bed without saying a word.

"Believe whatever you want," Ron told Seamus, while readying himself for bed. "But don't forget that Harry's a prefect. You'd have to be pretty special to pick fights with him now."

"Congratulations, by the way," said Dean, shaking Harry's hand. "No offence to the rest of us, but, er ... it's not much of a surprise, really."

Everyone keeps saying that, Harry thought.

Harry's first big challenge as a prefect came the very next morning, when he met up with a furious Hermione at the common-room noticeboard. She pointed out Fred and George's large 'Gallons of Galleons' sign, and said that as prefects, it was up to Harry and her to stop this kind of thing.

"Eef you want my advice," Tonks said, coming up from behind Harry. "I would suggest zat you let zem use each uzzer, or zemselves, as test subjects for whatever zey 'ave planned."

Harry felt a wave of relief wash over him. "You're a lifesaver, Maia. Thanks."

Tonks shrugged and said that it wasn't a problem. Then she tucked a lock of black hair behind her left ear, and turned to face Harry. "As payment, you will escort me to our first lessons on Monday, Monsieur Prefect. Actually, wait, 'ow about a tour of ze castle now already?"

And that was what they did. Harry spent much of his Saturday morning showing Tonks around, though it was mostly just for show. He preferred to slip into an abandoned classroom with her, and pore over the Marauder's Map instead.

"No funny names in Slytherin?" Tonks asked, when they scanned the dungeons. Then she decided to jump a few levels up. "Let's see what Umbridge is up to. Damn it, I wish the map was more detailed."

Unfortunately, Umbridge didn't seem to be doing much besides staying in her office. So Harry and Tonks chose to check up on the Ravenclaws instead.

"I've got a better idea," said Harry, when it became obvious that Hogwarts was safe enough, for the moment. "How about some duelling practise? I think we could both benefit from it."

"Sounds like a plan," said Tonks, whipping out her wand. "And while we're it at, I'd like to have a duel in the air as well. How about throwing a few laps around the Quidditch stadium? I bought us both Cleansweep Elevens to make it more even."

Harry blinked. "You didn't have to. That's three hundred Galleons –"

"I've got some cash, you know," said Tonks, smiling. "Anyway, you ready?"

Harry got into position at one end of the classroom, while Tonks stood at the other. She told him to put his Shield Charm to as much use as possible, as in the average duel, blocking often helped more than dodging.

"I mean, sure, you can try to dodge," said Tonks, with a slight shrug, "but I'm sure you know how fast these spells can travel. I wouldn't recommend dodging unless you've got some good cover or distance. Now, put up that Shield Charm already."

And they spent the next half an hour duelling with each other, in which Tonks smashed Harry's Shield Charm and disarmed Harry more than a few times. The gap between them was clear as day.

"Blimey," said Harry, as Tonks revived him from a Stunner. "You make me look like a first-year."

Tonks chuckled. "I've been doing this for a while, yeah."

After that, they went down to the partially-filled Quidditch stadium, where dozens of students were flying around or playing at the goalposts.

"So," said Harry, as they entered the Gryffindor changing room, "tell me about the Cleansweep Eleven."

"Nought to seventy in ten seconds," said Tonks, speaking in her French accent just in case they were overheard. "Top speed – one 'undred miles per hour. Eet eez better zan ze latest Comet, even zough zat one can reach one 'undred too."

Harry agreed. He'd heard about the Comet Two-Ninety being a breakthrough for the company's top speed. "Yeah, I heard it does nought to sixty in ten."

"Only wiz a decent tailwind," said Tonks. "Ah, 'ere we are!"

She opened one of the spare lockers to retrieve two Cleansweep Elevens. Harry took his broom and surveyed it with a slight frown, as it felt odd to be flying such a downgrade. After all, his old Nimbus Two Thousand used to do nought to ninety in ten seconds, with a top speed of one hundred and twenty.

"What?" said Tonks, narrowing her deep blue eyes. "Eez zat not good enough for you? Well, sorry I couldn't splash ze coin on a Nimbus or Firebolt. Even ze Two Zousand eez around four to five 'undred Galleons or so."

"Nah, it's OK," said Harry. "But don't think I'm going easy on you here."

Tonks laughed. "Same 'ere, Monsieur. You don't stand a chance."

So they ran out and kicked off hard from the ground. Tonks took the lead early on while Harry was still getting used to his new broom. But once he did, it didn't take long for Harry to catch up with Tonks on the turn. They flew at least five more laps until Harry won out by a decent margin at the finish.

"Wow, that was closer than I thought," said Harry. Tonks gave a smug grin.

"Eet eez 'arder wizout a broom advantage, yes?"

Speaking of broom advantage, Ron arrived with Harry's Firebolt in hand and joined in on the action. He outstripped Harry and Tonks by a considerable amount during their next race, and took the win with ease.

"'Mph!" Tonks tilted her nose in the air, while hovering at the finishing line. "You are lucky we made zis a simple race around ze stadium."

"Come off it," said Ron, still basking in his victory. "The Firebolt's got the edge in manoeuvrability too, not just speed."

Just then, the new Gryffindor Captain, Angelina Johnson, came flying over on her Cleansweep Seven. She recommended that Tonks try out for Chaser or Keeper, though Tonks responded by saying that she didn't feel that it was fair.

"Nonsense," said Angelina, with a slight scoff. "You're one of us now, so that means you're free to win the Cup as well."

Again, Tonks declined. Angelina sighed.

"I don't know who we're going to take as Keeper. This is going to be an embarrassing round of tryouts."

Ron chortled. "And it's your first as Captain." Then he paused for a moment before adding: "I wouldn't mind trying out, actually."

Now it was Angelina who laughed. "Oh really? On what, a Shooting Star? I doubt you've got the skills to be useful on an old broom, like Fred and George on their Fives."

Ron went silent.

"Anyway," said Angelina, turning to leave, "I'm gonna shoot some hoops with the others. Let me know if you change your mind, Leroux."

And she took off to rejoin Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell, and a few others at the goalposts.

"Why'd you say 'no'?" Ron asked Tonks, looking utterly bewildered. "She was basically begging you to join!"

Tonks looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think I'd prefer to just watch from the stands. And besides, there's always the small chance I might break my accent in the heat of the moment. That'd raise a few eyebrows, eh?"

Harry and Ron agreed. Then the former suggested that Ron take one of the Cleansweep Elevens for himself.

"What?" said Ron, blinking. "That's mental. I know I'm poor, but ... I don't want any handouts."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Get off your high horse. I took a Nimbus handout back in first year, remember? There's no shame in accepting help every now and then."

"If you break it," said Tonks to Ron, "you pay up. One-fifty Galleons ought to do."

"What –"

"She's only joking," said Harry, at which Tonks chuckled. "But yeah, now's a good chance to get in as much practice as you can before tryouts. Think you can step up in six days?"

Ron shrugged. "Depends on the homework. This is O.W.L. year after all, so the teachers will be looking to murder us."

"Quit complaining," said Tonks. "Harry, get us a Quaffle and swap brooms. I wanna see how good – or bad – he is at the hoops."

Ron blanched. "Er, can we do this when the stadium's a bit less full maybe?"

"Sure," said Tonks, snorting with laughter. "Why not empty it on matchday too, while you're at it? Fine, let's go over some work in the meantime. We can use the map to check when it's nice and cosy here for you."

And they left the Quidditch stadium in order to do some revision in one of the empty classrooms.