"Hey, Nowaki?" Hiroki said after a long silence, drawing absentminded circles across Nowaki's bare chest as he nestled against him. Nowaki turned to him, one arm behind his black hair-covered head as his other arm pulled Hiroki closer to him by the shoulders.

"Yes, Hiro-san?"

"I… um, I'm sorry for blowing up at you about the um…" Hiroki coughed slightly. "The Append-X… thing."

"It's okay. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have suggested it in the first place," Nowaki said with a smile. Hiroki averted his eyes guiltily.

"Th-That's just it. Um… Nowaki, I was th-thinking that m-maybe… since you um… you know, want a kid… I think m-maybe we could uh… you know, maybe we could a-a-a-dopt or… something," Hiroki said, his face heating up as his words got quieter and quieter. He buried his face in Nowaki's chest to hide his mortified expression. Nowaki had gone rigid, and Hiroki listened as his heartbeat quickened.

"Hiro-san…" he whispered. Hiroki looked up, sensing a tremble in Nowaki's voice. His face had contorted slightly, and he had a big smile on his face. Hiroki's eyebrows furrowed a little. Something was off.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," Hiroki apologized hastily. He moved to sit up, but Nowaki hooked his arm around his neck and brought him down to kiss him. When he pulled away, he gazed up at Hiroki lovingly.

"No. I'm happy, Hiro-san. That's an excellent idea," he breathed. Hiroki gave him a tiny smile, blushing blissfully down at his beloved. He was reminded once more of how much he really loved his big, warm bear of a lover. Timidly, he lowered his head to peck Nowaki's cheek in adoration.

"I love you, Nowaki," he mumbled shyly, almost inaudibly.

Nowaki heard him loud and clear.

"I love you too, Hiro-san," he replied. Hiroki expected to cuddle more, or to have another round of sex, but Nowaki unexpectedly sat up. Confused, Hiroki slid off of him and flopped to the bed. He watched as Nowaki stood stiffly and stooped down to grab his boxers. He slid into them, then went to his pants to slip them on as well.

"Where are you going, Nowaki?" Hiroki asked. Nowaki turned to him, his pants unbuttoned and half-zipped as they hung loosely off of his hips.

"Um, I'm just going to go to the store to get something for dinner. What would you like, Hiro-san?" he asked. Hiroki's brows knitted as he caught the slight hitch in Nowaki's voice.

"Is something wrong? You look pale."

"Nothing is wrong," Nowaki replied quickly. Hiroki tilted his head in concern as Nowaki turned away to grab his shirt off of the floor.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine, Hiro-san!" Nowaki snapped, whirling to face Hiroki once more, halfway into his shirt. Then, his features softened immediately as Hiroki looked on, taken aback. "Sorry, I'm just a bit hungry, haha. You know how I get."

No, that's how I get when I'm hungry. Not you, Hiroki thought. However, he forced a smile, willing himself to forgive Nowaki for his outburst.

"Yeah. I understand."

Several weeks later, on a Saturday morning, Hiroki's eyes slowly peeled open and he yawned. Smacking his lips tiredly, he glanced over to where Nowaki usually slept beside him on the bed. It was empty, and Hiroki sighed as he slowly sat up. With Nowaki at work, he could openly itch and scratch without worrying about Nowaki watching him, just as a man was meant to do. He rubbed his eyes with one balled fist and swung his legs over the edge of the mattress. He scratched his back in a gorilla-like manner, groaning as he got to his feet.

Hiroki stumbled to the bathroom, not bothering to close the door, trying to blink away the tiredness in his eyes as he stood over the toilet and lowered his boxers. When he was finished, he looked down to flush the toilet.

Blood.

Hiroki's eyes widened in horror as he stared at the red wisps of color that heavily tainted his urine. He inhaled sharply, his vision swimming as he began to feel nausea rise in his throat in dread.

"Oh my God. No, no, no… God, please no," he begged, falling to his knees as tears rapidly welled up in his eyes and spilled over, dropping into the toilet to mix with the blood. His mind whirled with all of the possibilities, his thoughts instantly settling on one word: cancer.

He hurriedly pulled up his boxers and scrambled into the kitchen, where he grabbed the phone and nearly tore it off the wall. With trembling fingers, he punched in a number. It took him seven tries before he finally hit the right buttons and the phone began to ring. He wept and sniffled as he clutched the device with both hands.

"Pick up, please," he cried desperately. A moment later, the phone picked up.

"Hello, this is Doctor Kusama Nowaki from the pediatrics department, how may I assis-"

"Nowakiii…" Hiroki blubbered, gasping as sobs racked his body.

"Hiro-san? Hiro-san is that you? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Hiro-san?" asked Nowaki's panicked voice on the other end.

"Nowaki… oh God Nowaki, help me. Please help me," Hiroki begged. He gasped as he felt a strange pang in his stomach. He rushed to the counter. With a cough, he doubled over and vomited into the sink. His cries rose in pitch as he shook in terror, and he violently retched again, his back arching with the power of the waves.

"Hiro-san! Hiro-san!" Nowaki shouted on the other end. Hiroki sobbed in response.

"Help me, Nowaki!" he screamed throatily, hardly able to finish before another wave of nausea hit and he threw up once more. The phone slipped from his grip and fell to the floor with a thud. Hiroki whimpered as his head throbbed and his vision went fuzzy. As he trembled with horror, all he could think about was Nowaki, and how much he needed his warm arms.

"Well, nothing seems wrong with it, but I wouldn't know for sure. We'll have to see a doctor who specializes in these sorts of things," Nowaki said as he prodded Hiroki's manhood with gentle hands, running his index and middle finger over the organ in a careful search for error. Hiroki sniffled as he shakily held up his shirt. He was seated on the edge of their bed with Nowaki kneeled before him, his ebony brows knitted in concern. Although his lover's hands had been on his penis for nearly a half hour, Hiroki felt anything but aroused. He had been crying on and off since Nowaki had rushed into their apartment to find him slumped against the kitchen counter, practically throwing up his intestines.

Needless to say, Nowaki had been wild with terror for Hiroki when he had crashed into their home, eyes flashing and hair in disarray. He had powerlessly held Hiroki's hair back as he vomited again and again. Nowaki had wiped his mouth clean, helped him into the bedroom during a break in the throwing up, and had held his hair again when he threw up once more into a pan Nowaki had brought from the kitchen. All the while, Hiroki had been sobbing Nowaki's name, begging for death, and wailing profanities for the entire world to hear. Nowaki, in response, had only been able to reassure Hiroki that he would be okay and helplessly stand by as his most precious person suffered.

"How much blood came out when you went to the bathroom?" Nowaki asked solemnly, completely in doctor mode. Hiroki rubbed his sore, reddened eyes with a balled fist and hiccupped shakily.

"A lot of it. Enough to make the water red," Hiroki sniffled. Nowaki sighed and looked up at him.

"Do you think you could try and go to the bathroom again? Maybe it was just a onetime thing and you got sick from seeing your own blood," Nowaki said, getting to his feet and offering Hiroki his hand. Crying softly, Hiroki took his outstretched hand and allowed Nowaki to gently pull him into the bathroom. Hiroki stood over the toilet and, as Nowaki watched, he urinated.

"Oh God," Hiroki sobbed as, once more, blood stained the toilet water red. Nowaki took a step towards him and steadied him as he wavered. He allowed Hiroki to lean against his chest as his little lover finished and shakily pulled his boxers back up. "I'm so scared."

"I know, Hiro-san. I'm scared, too. Shh," Nowaki said comfortingly, bringing Hiroki into his arms and holding him tightly. However, Hiroki felt another jolt in his stomach at Nowaki's squeezing. He wrenched himself from Nowaki's embrace and fell to his knees as another round of vomiting began. He wept hysterically into the toilet as Nowaki sank to his knees beside him and pulled his hair back.

"I hate this! I hate this, Nowaki!" he screamed into the porcelain bowl, his body tensing as he choked up wave after wave of bile. "I'm so scared! I don't want to die! Nowaki!"

"Oh, Hiro-san," Nowaki whispered. Hiroki felt Nowaki's hands tremble in his hair before he heard the soft weeping of the other man beside him. Tears fell onto his back, the molten droplets dampening his shirt.