Perfect

Chapter Thirteen

We were seated across from each other with Anakin as our mediator. I'd already upset the Senator and I didn't want to make things worse, so I decided to cooperate. At least for the time being.

"Both of you should be ashamed of yourselves."

"I don't think that I…" Padme began although she was rudely cut off by my Padawan. I had taught him better negotiation skills than that!

"It's not your turn to talk yet, M'Lady," he told her with the addition of a rudely pointed finger. "I have the floor. Both of you need to be quiet and listen. First of all, I can't believe you've allowed ten years to pass and not gone to my Master and said something to him about it!"

"I told you…"

"Uh uh!" Anakin once more shut her down and she surprisingly obliged him.

I figured he must've put his spell on her too. T'Pal, Senator Amidala...who else had he influenced to join his little scheme?

"And Master, you walked in here with a chip on your shoulder. Yes, I followed you and was listening outside the door. And you had no idea I was even there! Do you know what that tells me? That you're distracted, is what. That you know what I told you is true, but you're too stubborn to believe it!"

"Anakin, that's going too far," I tried to intervene, although the boy wouldn't allow it.

"I know I'm probably going to pay for this later, but I really need you to shut up right now."

He was right. I could think of several lightsaber drills and callisthenic routines I could force him to do which he certainly wouldn't enjoy.

"I've been thinking a lot about this situation and I'm sorry Senator, but the blame mainly falls on you. Come to find out, Master Kenobi suffered a brain injury during our mission to Carnelion IV, which damaged his hippocanopy…his hippodermis…"

"Hippocampus," I corrected for him with a whisper.

"Yeah, that thing. The thing in your brain that holds your memories. Healer T'Pal believes that a portion of his from the time of injury and a bit further in the past was lost; or possibly blocked. Seeing that we were sent to Carnelion right after we left Naboo, when you two were married, it's likely the whole wedding thing is gone out of his head. Well maybe not gone, but he's got neurological amnesty or something. These memories may be retrieved, but Master? You'd have to agree to a mind healing for that. I know how determined you are to avoid the Healers Hall. Hell, everyone in the Temple knows about it. And since the chances of you returning there were slim, I just so happen to bring one here to you."

"You did what?"

Immediately following his announcement, the large but kind Trandoshan entered the Senator's apartment, ducking low beneath her doorway before greeting her as well as my Padawan. She arranged her long legs mostly on the floor as she sat on the sofa next to Anakin and then focused on me. Her gaze was somewhat compassionate, although I definitely detected a touch of haughtiness.

How had I ever allowed myself to be dragged into this mess in the first place? I was smarter than this!

I wasn't going to gain any sympathy from my Padawan or the Healer, so I turned to the Senator. Her previous anger had melted away, but in its place wasn't the pleasure of seeing me get what was coming to me. It was something more like pleading. She was begging me with her dark gaze and for a passing moment, my mind was flooded with a vision of a similar look, although this time, her eyes were reflecting flashes of brightly colored light.

I shook my head to clear the image although her petition remained the same. I'd never seen her so desperate before, not even when she had contacted the Jedi for help during the invasion of her planet. This was personal.

Could it possibly be true? How would I know unless I volunteered myself and opened my mind?

"You may proceed," I told the Healer, before kneeling on the floor in front of me in form II meditative pose. There wasn't a Lunatic Lounge in here and I wasn't about to put my dirty boots on the Senator's white sofa.

Acknowledging my cooperation, T'Pal purred, a Trandoshan sound I understood meant satisfaction.

It had been a long time since I'd allowed another Jedi to access my thoughts. Once, during a series of recurring nightmarish visions that had occurred when I was a youngling, Master Yoda had done so, but that was a long time ago. It was a strange sensation as if someone was rifling through data files in my brain, studying some while shutting the drawers on others.

It became obvious when T'Pal attempted to breach those memories which had been damaged. She had the same urgency as someone trying to pick the lock on a bolted door, except the lock was broken. Her power within the Force put a strain on my ability to cope with her technique until a gentle touch landed on my hand. It was a soothing caress and seemed to be not only providing me comfort but resilience as well. I could do this. I had to.

The touch remained but now was accompanied by a voice and a hazy swirl of color that appeared before my eyes. Multiple shades of blue focused in and out, but it was the dark brown one I centered my attention on. Within that particular shade, which quickly took the form of irises, I knew I would find solace.

"I'm yours…" Padme's voice echoed in my head. "I'll do anything you say…"

The softly-spoken words were followed by my own, and composed a statement I couldn't recall ever saying. But it was definitely my voice; a memory that had been supposedly lost, now revealed.

"I will remember you always like this…"

And then the colors settled and the vision became clearer. She was naked, lying underneath me, vulnerable and exposed to my gaze and my touch. What was even more amazing was how she appeared to trust me completely.

How could I ever forget something like this? This feeling of relinquishing all my self-control? To willingly place my heart into her hands knowing she would keep it safe? How could I not remember how very much I loved her?

And yet, I had let her down. How could she ever forgive me? Inadvertently or not, I had caused her pain, and I emerged from the healing session with a heavy burden of guilt and despair. I was grieving the loss of all the time we could've spent together. We should have had our perfect little family by now!

There was nothing I could say and no excuse I could make that would fix this.

"I'm so sorry," I uttered before my voice cracked and my eyes moistened. I could probably count the number of times I'd shed tears on one hand. And yet, I unashamedly allowed them to fall. There was no stopping them at this point.

"It's okay. Sh, it's okay," she consoled me sweetly before kneeling on the floor and wrapping her arms about me.

Padme Amidala was the most remarkable woman in the galaxy. I didn't deserve her affections, but by the Force, from this day forward, I was going to try to.