After two spirited rounds of karaoke and over a dozen rolls of sushi shared between the four of them, Tori and Jade bid good night to Nora and Piper before going their separate ways for the night. Tori was uncharacteristically quiet during the whole drive back to their apartment, making Jade a little worried that maybe she had a bad batch of the sushi or something. She tried to reach across the console and place a hand on Tori's leg, but both of the other's hands were firmly on the wheel and all Jade heard in response was a deep, silent breath. Frowning, Jade retracted her hand and looked down at her phone, skimming through photos they took and shared amongst each other during the date.
When they arrived back home, Jade quietly dropped her bag on one of the dining chairs. She turned to see Tori still facing the door as she closed it and locked every bolt and key. It was then that Jade found the sight very familiar, but she still took a step toward her girlfriend, hesitantly reaching out to her again. "Tori…you okay?"
Tori then turned to her, revealing a rather worried expression on the young singer's face. Suddenly, she grabbed Jade's face and leaned in very close for a kiss, but Jade backed away, remembering the exact same moment from that one night in LA with a look of worry on her face.
"W-What are you doing, Jade?" Tori looked at her, making a small, but nervous chuckle, "I'm just trying to thank you for that karaoke surprise!"
"You did thank me for that, remember?" Jade shook her head, taking Tori's hands off of her face, but still holding them close, "You're doing it again, Tori. Is your mind racing like it did that night? The night we...got together?"
Tori made a pained expression at Jade's last words, "Yes! Okay?! I can't think straight, Jade. I just want to…give you the biggest kiss right now—or maybe more than that, but…I can't! I shouldn't!" She pulled her hands back and covered her face as her cheeks burned crimson. Her breathing sounded heavy and fast, almost to the point of hyperventilating.
As soon as she noticed, Jade wrapped her arms around Tori in a gentle hug, patting her back to steady her breathing before moving them both to the couch. Jade shed off her leather jacket, then carefully pulled Tori's blazer off her shoulders until she took the jacket off herself. Looking at her girlfriend's downtrodden face, Jade fumbled with words before finally asking, "What's wrong, Tori? You can tell me."
Tori took many deep breaths before answering, "I just feel…overwhelmed. The song, the talk we had with your mom and Piper; it feels like I was riding a high the whole time and I'm just now coming down from it."
Jade let out an accidental laugh, "Tori, we just drank water and ate sushi! I'm sure there wasn't anything in—" She cut the joke short when she saw that Tori wasn't laughing or smiling at all. On the contrary, she looked even sadder and more upset from it.
"Look, don't get me wrong. I loved the song, I loved the surprise—really! In fact, all I wanted at that moment was to kiss you on that stage! But I couldn't, not after I saw just how many people there were…"
"It's fine!" Jade hung an arm of support around Tori's shoulder, "The hug was more than enough, Tor, and I could already see you were having a good time!"
"I did…" Tori flashed a weak smile, "Then when Piper brought up our 'chemistry' and that we 'only just started dating', and asked us about being 'out'…"
"Was it…too much at once?" Jade frowned, almost wanting to blame Piper for this, but she knew better than that. She knew Piper and her mother were only being supportive the whole time. "Look, for what it's worth, I've known that I'm bi for a long time, even if you're the first girl I've felt this way with. Everyone who knows—Beck, Cat, and now my mom—they're fine with it; but are you feeling…a bit weird now that it's sinking in for you?"
Tori sighed heavily and wiped her eyes, "That's the thing. I know I like you, Jade…but I don't know what this means for me. Am I bisexual now? Or am I gay now? I just...I don't know!"
Her mind was racing back to their high school years; to the boys she fell for and dated—Daniel, Ryder, and Steven—only to end in falling out, feeling betrayed, and subsequent payback. Even the brief crush she, Jade, and Cat had for Beck's friend Moose felt more shallow as she struggled to even remember the feelings she had; or lack thereof. It would make sense if she didn't like those kinds of guys in particular anymore, but those memories didn't affect her as much as others that followed; memories of strongly complimenting other girls' appearances and singing, feelings of repulsion or indifference when guys hit on her, even when close friends like Andre, Beck, and Robbie tried to kiss her—knowingly or otherwise. Feeling overwhelmed again, she screamed into the couch's back cushion, making Jade flinch in surprise.
As she started hearing more sobs from Tori against the couch, Jade was at a loss for words and simply pulled her girlfriend in for another hug, letting her cry against her bare shoulder.
"I just don't understand this, Jade!" Tori choked against her sobs, "Why is this so hard all of a sudden?! Why do I care so much about not being straight or bi or whatever?! Why can't it just be simple for me to say I love you?!"
Jade felt her own eyes start to tear up as she answered, "I don't know, okay? It's a lot to process, but…we can figure it out together. That's why I'm here with you, Tori." She wrapped her arms around Tori a bit tighter as she lowered her voice to a whisper in her ear, "I'm here..."
The couple spent the next hour on the couch, letting Tori's feelings out while Jade tried her best to comfort her, but the former falling asleep on the couch ultimately calmed her down. Jade sat alone on the floor, next to Tori like she was the night watch over an outdoor camp, trying to process what just happened. Was Tori having a crisis over her sexuality, her identity, her reputation? Whatever it was, Jade knew she wasn't qualified to help Tori through this alone. Getting up quietly, she grabbed her phone from her bag and went to her room to make a call. As she mentally prepared what she was about to say, she glanced at the calendar on the wall; thankful that it was a work-free weekend tomorrow.
"Mom?" Jade said as soon as she heard the call picked up, "Can you and Piper come by our place in the morning? I think Tori and I need your help with something."
Early next morning, Tori slowly awoke to the smell of eggs and buttered toast. Opening her eyes, she saw Jade hunched over the stove while Nora stood next to her, giving muffled instructions over the sound of oil and butter crackling in the pan. After sitting up and rubbing her eyes clear, she also noticed Piper sitting at the dining table, watching the mother and daughter quietly until her eyes fell on Tori. Smiling, she motioned for the young woman to join them as Nora passed plates around the table.
Tori took a long sip of water as everyone gathered around the table. She clutched her head, throbbing like a headache followed her through the night into the morning, eliciting concerned faces from Nora and Piper while Jade looked off to the side. Finally, she broke the silence by clearing her throat, "So I'm guessing Jade called you about my…panic attack last night?"
Nora nodded, "She did, late last night. She told us you were feeling…off…after dinner, particularly after the talk about you two not being 'out'." Her voice trailed off as Tori's face sunk lower and lower with the recollection.
Piper chimed in, placing a reassuring hand on Tori's shoulder, "Look, why don't you just tell us what's on your mind, Tori? I promise we won't judge you." With a glance to Nora and Jade, who both nodded in agreement, Tori took a deep breath and began to answer, her eyes fixed on the glass in front of her.
"I've had my share of relationships, most of them going sour one way or another. There was a guy I liked in my old school before Hollywood Arts, but we grew apart and just stayed friends…until he started dating one of our friends and…it got awkward. Then there were a few other guys I dated for a while…"
"One of them, you almost went out with for 100 whole days," Jade interjected out of habit, then immediately regretted it when she saw the face Tori made at her.
"Yeah, well, they didn't go well, either. After those train-wrecks, I didn't really date anyone for a long time. In fact, I didn't even feel so strongly about any guys anymore; not even our friends." Tori grimaced remembering the closest of those moments; when she and Beck nearly kissed before she backed away from it.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"
"N-No! You didn't! It's…"
"Then why can't we kiss?"
"Because…because of Jade."
"Jade and I broke up…and since when are you and Jade friends? She took your place at the Platinum Music Awards, remember?"
"…I mean, I guess Jade and I aren't 'friends' friends, but we're kinda friends…I think. And kissing her ex-boyfriend…I can't do that to a friend."
Jade recalled accidentally seeing that moment just before she was supposed to perform, but hearing Tori call her a friend—despite every terrible thing she'd done and said to her face—changed the way she saw Tori from then on. She wrote the song she performed at the Full Moon Jam with Tori in mind in every line. Every time they verbally sparred, tried to one-up each other, or get on the other's last nerve came rushing into to Jade's mind when she wrote that song, but with all those fights and frustrations came the unspoken admiration she also felt for Tori—who never backed down or gave up on them being friends. If only Beck hadn't walked on stage after her performance, maybe she would have told Tori then and there how she felt, but that was the past and there was no use in dwelling on what could have been—at least not for her. Looking back at Tori now, Jade could tell the past was still bothering her.
"I never felt so strongly about anyone…until Jade," Tori took another sip of water as she continued, "On our last night in LA, Jade told me how she felt for a long time about me; and when she did, I realized how I much I cared about her, too. I didn't even think about her being another girl; just that I liked her and I wanted to return her feelings for me. That's when we kissed for the first time…and we spent the night together…and now we're here, living together. I know it was all so sudden and even reckless, but I feel so happy with her now; happier than I've ever felt with anyone before."
Jade passed her a grateful smile, wiping a stray tear from her eye out of view from everyone else.
"What I just don't understand now is…" Tori sighed, "We've had no problem telling my family or our friends, but the thought of coming out to everyone made me so scared—and I don't know why! I mean, we lived in a really liberal part of California, where gay couples weren't looked down on or insulted, one of my favorite songs is 'I Kissed a Girl'—I even had it on my locker! It should be simple; I love Jade and I don't like guys anymore! I just don't understand why this is bothering me so much now!"
"If I had to guess…" Nora took the reins of the conversation, noting Tori growing more upset, "And in my own experience, too, you may have grown up in a mostly tolerant community, but you've also grown up knowing the intolerant parts as well; and when the focus is on you instead of others…it's normal to feel as anxious and indecisive as you do now. I'll bet you're afraid of what Mason might think if you came out; if it'll threaten your career or worse."
Tori nodded, confirming the fear on everyone's mind.
"I understand. I honestly feel the same way sometimes, which is why I'm glad he never brings it up in conversation. But no matter what; he can't say you aren't allowed to work with him or anyone there just because you're a lesbian—and even if he did…" Nora took Tori's hand in hers, "I'd fight my hardest as a lawyer and a mother for you to keep living your dream."
Tori felt goosebumps along her hand as Nora took it in hers. The resolution in her voice filled her with confidence, but part of her words rang like a dissonant chord in her head—"just because you're a lesbian". Tori felt a kind of repulsion to the word—not against being a lesbian, but being called one. Even with Nora's pledge of support, the idea of coming out still would not sit well with Tori. "I appreciate that, Ms. West—really, I do. But…I still don't feel ready. I don't know when I will."
"It's okay…hardly anyone knows until they just…do," Piper smiled, crossing her arms, "Look at me and Nora. We've been in the closet for so long, I almost consider it a miracle that we're here now…together." The two flashed a smile to each other before turning to Tori and Jade, "You two have your whole lives ahead of you, still. Like I said before; when you are ready, I'm sure you'll have loads of support."
Both Tori and Jade smiled at each other and then to Nora and Piper. "Thank you," Tori nodded gratefully, "I think this really helped."
Jade got up and crossed the table to sweep Tori over to her in a hug, "Finally! Now, how about some eggs and toast, courtesy of your sweet girlfriend~?"
Tori giggled and returned the hug, but the sharp ringing of her phone and Jade's cut into the moment, prompting them both to grab them from the couch. Their screens both showed a notification from their group chat with their friends in LA. They quickly swiped their phones open and read the string of messages.
CAT: Guys! You sang at a karaoke place last night?!
JADE: Yeah. How did you know?
CAT: There are videos of you two singing Take on Me! Tori's name is even on the title!
ROBBIE: Yeah! They must have recognized you from the Music Awards or something!
ANDRE: Before you watch Tori just don't look at—
Tori and Jade both ignored the remaining messages, swiping immediately to YouTube to search "Tori Vega Take on Me" and "Nichijou karaoke". Both searches resulted in a thumbnail of the two of them singing. The video was called "Tori Vega and GF singing Take on Me" and a remarkable number of views was displayed under the title. They both tapped on the video, showing a distant, but clear shot of both girls as they were singing on the restaurant's center stage.
Jade looked almost impressed at the picture and sound quality, despite clearly being taken by a phone. She looked up at Tori to tell her, but her mouth stalled upon seeing all the color draining from her girlfriend's face.
Tori had also tapped on the video, but like she did for most videos she watched, she instinctively scrolled down the many comments already made in the short time the video was uploaded.
"Whoa! Never heard a girls duet of this before! They sound awesome!"
"Is that really Tori Vega? The girl who sang Make it in America at the PMAs?"
"Yeah! And that's her girlfriend! They sound so cool together!"
"Girlfriend? Wow, what a catch."
"Welp there goes my chance then."
"U mean she's gay? Sure that's not a stunt or something for attention?"
"Srsly. Are the d***s taking over or something?"
The last comment appeared to be intentionally censored to avoid being flagged, but anyone reading it could probably guess what it was. Jade set her phone on the table, reaching for Tori's phone to close it, but it suddenly dropped from her hand and landed face-down on the floor with a loud crack!
"Tori?" Jade called as she looked back up to her. "Are you—?"
Another sharp scream cut into the living room—this time, not muffled by the couch—as Tori fell to her knees, trembling and burying her face in her hands as everyone looked at her in utter shock.