**Trigger warning: Suicide, mental health issues, self harm, eating disorder. Disclosure: I am NOT any form of mental health expert. Some of the things contained in these chapters are simply tactics that I've encountered occasionally. Please take it all with a grain of salt, and maybe skip if any of this could be triggering to you. Note: This is a very long chapter so the underlined will be general summaries of what is being addressed where to hopefully keep things more organized. Resources will be provided throughout the stories if you find yourself struggling.***

George took a seat in the rocking chair that was placed across from a small couch in the makeshift seating area and motioned for the child to sit on the couch. The snacks arrived in abundance only a moment later.

"Harry, Severus has told me the basics of what has happened, including your most recent diagnostic results. I would like you to tell me what has occurred since we last met as best you can, please," George requested.

"W-well, Sirius died, but I suppose...I suppose we did talk about that in our last sessions. Sorry. Umm...I went to talk to Dumbledore a day or two before summer vacation to ask about what would happen. H-He told me I would have to go back to the Dursley's-that-that it was the safest place for me. I-I argued with him until-he...kinda...well, spoke very firmly...saying that it was the end of the discussion and that it was not up for debate since he needed me safe. Th-that's when I wrote the letters. The one to you, one to the Weasleys asking them to care for Hedwig with compensation included, and this one," Harry started and at this point he handed the crumpled paper over to the mind healer.

Suicidal Ideation

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Silence filled the room as George read the letter. "Thank you for sharing this with me, Harry. It must have been very hard to write, but we'll come back to that. May I ask why you put the quotation marks around the word 'relatives'?" George asked gently.

"I-I guess it's because I haven't thought of them as real relatives...especially not since Sirius took over guardianship of me," Harry admitted.

"What makes real relatives, Harry?' George asked.

"Love. It's the most important thing needed for a family. I don't care that we shared some of the same blood. They hated me, and I do not love them, so we can't be real relatives in the deeper sense of the word."

"Well answered, Harry. I'm inclined to agree with you. You then apologize to the reader about the 'messy sight you inevitably had to behold'. Will you tell me who you had in mind when you were writing this letter?" George asked.

"I-I think I thought maybe Fred and George Weasley would try to come rescue me like they did one summer. I also hoped...that maybe Remus or Severus would try to check up on me at some point and maybe they would be the ones to stumble upon the body. There were also some instances that occurred to me where like a muggle or someone would stumble upon my rotting body or something."

"You seem to have thought about this a lot," George reflected.

"Not even a little part of me thought I would be alive to return this year," Harry confessed.

"Were you thinking about possibly killing yourself?"

"I-the possibility was in my mind."

"Did the possibility...was it something you wanted? Was it something you thought about a lot?"

"Well...yeah. I mean, my entire life has been one of suffering and pain. My parents deaths, me being able to hear their screams. The Dursley's abuse. Voldemort and everything that has happened at Hogwarts because of him. Sirius' death. More of the Dursley's abuse despite people knowing how badly I'd been hurt. I-it made sense that the-the only way I could finally stop hurting...was to...well...die," Harry confessed.

"I see, how do you feel about it now?" George asked.

"I-I'm hurting. I mean, yeah, physically I hurt and I wa-want that to stop, but...my heart...it hurts. But, I understand I can't die until I fight Voldemort. Hopefully, I'll be able to defeat him and then I can die in peace."

"Harry, I want to tell you that you are so much more than the savior of the wizarding world. Your value is so much more than potentially defeating Voldemort. Your value isn't going to disappear if you defeat Voldemort sometime in the future. I know you probably don't believe me right now, and we'll work on it, but I need you to know that your worth is in the people who love you unconditionally without any reason other than they love you. Your parents loved you, Sirius loved you, Remus loves you, Severus loves you-even if he's incapable of admitting it right now-Hagrid loves you, McGonagall loves you, Ron and Hermione love you, Luna loves you, Neville loves you, Ginny loves you, Fred and George love you, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley love you, I love you, and countless others love you, Harry. Not because you're the savior of the wizarding world, not because of anything you've done, but because you are you and they choose to love you unconditionally. Do you understand what I'm saying?" George explained gently.

"Y-yes, sir. I think so."

"I'm glad. Is that...is that the mess you were apologizing for in the letter? Did you have a plan to harm yourself?" George asked.

"I-it's not the only thing I had in mind when I was apologizing. I truly believed that my uncle would kill me and leave a gruesome mess for some poor bystander to encounter. However, there was a part of me that thought it might be my own hand slitting my wrist or hanging myself that did me in leaving an equally gruesome sight for some poor bystander to have to cope with," Harry admitted.

"Harry, on a scale of 1-10, how suicidal are you feeling right now. One being I feel like I would never kill myself, and 10 being I want to run from this room and kill myself right now?" George asked.

"You're going to have to tell Severus about this aren't you?" Harry asked quietly.

"I am. I can't in good conscious allow you to stay here with no adult to keep an eye out who knows what you're feeling while you're suicidal," George answered honestly.

Harry sighed, "I guess, I'm about a four. I'm sad and don't really want to be alive right now, but at the same time I want to learn magic, I want to help save my friends," Harry answered.

"And the highest you ever would've scored?"

"A nine. A day or two before coming to Hogwarts. I could barely walk my leg hurt so badly. My arm was really difficult to move and very painful to move as well. I-I thought I would never be able to do magic again. Never be able to play quidditch again. Be subject to the Dursley's abuse until I finally died or became of legal age," Harry answered.

"What stopped you?"

"I had a dream, about my mom...and dad. They died for me. I think they would be pretty pissed if I wasted their sacrifice by killing myself before I fulfilled my purpose."

"I'm glad you didn't kill yourself, Harry. And your purpose is not defeating Voldemort. Your purpose is to learn magic, grow as a human being, find a job that gives you joy, get married if that's something you desire, have children if you are able to and give them a better life, help them develop into upstanding citizens who have hearts as big as yours."

"I-I guess I never thought of that before," Harry said in a very reflective tone.

"Then that is something I'd like you to start working on. I believe muggles call it a vision board. I want you to start thinking of goals for your life. Things you want to do, accomplish, learn, become," George instructed, before moving on to the next subject he wanted to address. "You talk to the reader about needing to process the things they see. Can you explain why you thought that important to include?"

"I mean, isn't it a bit obvious. I remember my mother's screams as she died. I saw Quirrell be demolished by Voldemort's possession of him. I watched Sirius die. Things you see can...they can screw with your brain. I-talking to you about certain things was really helpful to me. No one ought to suffer through seeing a dead body without anyone to help them through all of the thoughts and emotions and pain," Harry explained.

"Harry, you have such an incredibly caring heart. I really admire that about you. Like I'm sure you know by now. None of these thoughts, feelings, emotions can possibly be sorted out in one two hour session, and we will be coming back to this in the days that follow, but I really want to make sure that I have a good understanding of everything that is going on with you. So I'd like for you to pick the next thing we kind of start talking about. I know you're struggling with bulimia. It's also clear your struggling with depression. Severus said the most recent diagnostic spell also revealed anxiety-which you suffered previously- self harm, and sleep deprivation. What would you like to move on to?" George asked gently as he tried to piece together a treatment plan that would most benefit this suffering child sitting across from him.

Anxiety, Panic Attacks

Resources: Your Primary Care Physician should have resources

"C-can we talk about my anxiety? I-it's really hard to deal with," Harry mumbled.

"Of course, how is your anxiety presenting itself lately?" George asked.

"I-I'm always scared when someone makes a move like they're going to touch me that they-that they intend to hurt me...the way the Dursleys always like to. A-and then I'm always stressing about the people I love being killed. I'm worried Remus will be killed like Sirius was. I'm worried the Weasleys will finally discover how much of a burden I really am and either leave me or start treating me like...like the Dursleys do. And honestly I'm not sure which would be worse. I find myself wondering when Professor Snape will finally have enough of me and revert back to the way he used to treat me with such spite and anger. I find myself thinking about if the wizarding world might eventually negotiate with Voldemort and turn me over to him since I'm the only one he wants. I-I'm always wondering how Voldemort will try to kill me next. And-and sometimes it all becomes so big and so heavy that-that I just can't breathe for a while."

"Okay, Harry, all of that is completely understandable. When you can't breathe, it's called a panic attack. You need to remind yourself that you can breathe, you're mind is just playing tricks on you and making you breathe to fast which tricks your brain even more into thinking you're not getting enough oxygen when really you are. There's a muggle medication that I'll prescribe you that will help with the panic attacks. Another thing you can do when you start to feel anxious is to deepen your breathing by breathing in for four seconds, holding your breath for four seconds, letting your breath out for four seconds, and holding your breath for four seconds before repeating the process as many times as it takes for you to calm down. It's completely normal for abused people to be wary of people touching them, but that feeling will start to diminish the more you are shown that not everyone is trying to hurt you, which is why I would like to see you start seeking out physical contact-whatever that looks like-as often as you can. It can be as simple as a high five or as intimate as a hug. Try to push yourself so that people can prove to you that you are safe with them. I would also encourage you to express your concerns to the Weasleys, Severus, Albus, and anyone else you might start having these anxious thought in relation to. If you confide in them, they might be able to assuage your concerns a bit. Another thing you can do is journal all the ways they show their love for you so that hopefully you will start to believe that they truly do love you and that will never change. Does that make sense?"

"Y-yes, Dudley always had to do box breathing when he was angry and wanted to throw a tantrum. It never really worked for him, but I think I might be able to do it better. I'll try to initiate physical contact more often and talk honestly to people, but it sounds really hard," Harry confessed nervously.

"I know, and it will be really hard, but I don't expect you to do anything too drastic right away, Harry. All I ask is that you try to push yourself a tiny bit outside your comfort zone little by little, more and more each day so that hopefully your comfort zone will stretch to the point where all physical contact doesn't cause you to grow anxious. Same concept applies for talking with people. Are the anxious feelings normally what cause you to self harm?"

Self Harm

Self Harm Hotline: 1-866-488-7386

"Yeah, I guess, I never really put that together though. It-hurting myself helps me breath," Harry admitted blushing slightly.

"Harry, you have no reason to be ashamed, many people testify the same thing. However, hurting yourself isn't a healthy way of dealing with your anxiety. When you feel like hurting yourself I want you to try a couple things first. First I want you to write a story...put a friend in your shoes, and write what you would say to them if you knew they were feeling the way you are in that moment. If you're still struggling after that, I want you to do something physical. Whether it's ride your broom for a bit, play exploding snaps with a friend, take a walk around the castle, whatever you'd like, just something that gets your body moving. If that still doesn't work I'd like you to try to talk to Severus. If you do self harm, I want you to allow Severus to heal your wounds, and then I want you to write down what made you feel that way, and what you think might've helped you in that moment. Does that all make sense?"

"Yeah, I can do that," Harry answered.

Bulimia

1-800-931-2237

"Good, now would you please tell me what caused you to throw up your lunch today?" George asked.

"I-A flashback to when Sirius died," Harry admitted as a tear crawled down his cheek.

"Would you be willing to tell me what you were feeling in those moments?"

"I was mad at myself. If I had worked harder at occlumency I might not have fallen for Voldemort's trick and then I wouldn't have gotten Sirius killed. I was so angry with myself and then I started having that panic attack thing you talked about, felt nauseous, and throwing up was just-instinct I guess."

"I see, and when you induce vomit, is it always when you are feeling upset with yourself?" George asked.

"I-I suppose yeah," Harry answered after a long moment of consideration.

"And I'm assuming you feel guilty about more than just Sirius?" George prompted.

"Y-yeah, there's every time I get Hermione and Ron into a dangerous situation. There's the fact that I killed my parents. There's that I haven't been able to defeat Voldemort yet. There's every time I let down a professor by not being able to do something. There's how I just-allowed everything that happened at the Dursleys to happen without doing anything. I-" Harry couldn't finish as he sobbed and curled in on himself.

George got up and moved to sit beside the boy on a couch, carefully wrapping a comforting arm around the boy. "Harry, you did NOT kill your parents. Voldemort killed your parents. You were a baby. There's absolutely nothing you could've or should've done differently. You carry absolutely no blame for what happened that day. You are a child who has already defeated Voldemort once. Defeating him again is NOT your responsibility. If you can help defeat him in the future, we will all appreciate it greatly but you should not carry that responsibility, ESPECIALLY not alone. You are a child. As for letting down your professors, you are a student-learning is part of being a student. An essential part of learning is failing. It's the greatest teacher. You are not expected to be able to do everything flawlessly or with ease, and if any teacher dares to expect that of you that is their problem not yours. You are allowed and expected to make mistakes while you learn as that is what will help you grow! As for the Dursleys, they and they alone are responsible for the atrocities they committed against you. You are a child, and I will repeat that as many times as you need to hear it. You ought to have been loved and protected. You should not have needed to do anything to protect yourself from, or stop the abuse you were subjected to because no child should be forced to encounter that ever. Unfortunately, it is quite common for abused children to blame themselves though. So I ask you this, had Ron or Hermione or Luna been abused, would you blame them for not being able to stop it or protect themselves?"

"No, of course not!" Harry exclaimed.

"Okay then, so you ought not blame yourself. Anytime you start feeling guilty I want you to write down what you are feeling guilty about. Then I want you to do three things. Write down what you think you should've done and what would've or could've happened if you'd done that. I want you to write down why you did what you did. Keep everything factual. And then I want you to write what you would say to a friend if they were struggling in the way you are. Does that make sense?"

"Y-yes, I'm gonna have to buy a new notebook though," Harry answered with a half hearted chuckle.

George grinned, "I have one I would like to gift you. If you accept it will allow me to read your entries through a journal it is bound to."

"I-I think I'd like that, thanks."

Nightmares

"Of course, now your sleep deprivation, in part due to nightmares?" George asked.

"Yeah, that's the main reason I've moved in with Professor Snape so that he can more easily administer dreamless sleep," Harry answered.

"That's good, Harry. And you need your sleep, so dreamless sleep is an excellent way to provide you the sleep you need, but you also need to work through the nightmares so hopefully they start coming in less and less frequency and intensity. Hopefully, this will allow you to someday not require dreamless sleep on a regular basis," George explained.

"That makes sense, but how do I do that?" Harry asked genuinely confused. "I mean, I don't control my dreams after all."

George actually laughed a bit, "How right you are. That's why nightmares are one of the harder things to deal with. However, nightmares-especially in your case-are often based on memories. Talking about what happens in your nightmares and what memories the nightmare most likely came from is a powerful way of taking the power away from the nightmare-so to speak. And if you take the power way from the memory the nightmare becomes less and less frightening and intense. If a nightmare isn't frightening you anymore, the idea and hope is that it will eventually go away realizing it is no longer serving any purpose. Now, I don't mean to make you think that you will never have nightmares again after your treatment. You will probably always have them to a certain extent, but the more you talk about the memories and nightmares instead of trying to shove them out, the less frequent and intense they will become. Am I making sense?"

"Yeah, I think I understand, the reason my nightmares are so intense and frequent is because they are trying to get out, but I'm fighting to push them down; but if I talk about them, allow them to be seen and heard, I take away the power from them and they'll become less intense and less frequent even if they never go away entirely?" Harry asked.

"That's the idea," George affirmed pleased with Harry's wisdom.

"I-I don't even know who I would talk to about it though," Harry admitted sullenly.

"Well, Severus would be a good place to start seeing as how that is why you are staying with him in the first place. It would also be prudent for you to journal your nightmares and memories. You may always talk with me about anything you wish, and I'm sure any of your friends would be more than willing to listen to whatever you have to say also, Harry. Opportunities will present themselves, just be open to them, Harry," George instructed.

Harry let out a massive yawn as he nodded and George chuckled.

Treatment Plan

"Alright, I think that's enough for today. I just want to go over your treatment plan with yourself and Severus if you would permit it?" George asked.

"Yeah, that's fine. If he's fine with it that is," Harry answered.

Just then, a knock sounded on the office door. "Come in, Severus," George called.

"Am I interrupting?" Severus asked as he stepped inside the office.

"Not at all," George assured. "The last thing I wanted to do was recap Harry's treatment plan. I asked him if you could sit in for this, and Harry said you may if you are okay with it?"

Severus just nodded his consent to the unasked question and took a seat at his desk.

"Okay, first and foremost there are two muggle prescriptions I'd like to start Harry on. One for anxiety and the other for depression. They would ship to my address and I will forward all refills to your private quarters via owl. Severus, you must also be aware of the fact that Harry is and has been suicidal. I trust you will not overact to this information. Today, Harry rated it a four. He's going to be making a vision board of sorts. For his anxiety he is going to practice box breathing, and try instigating physical contact and honest conversation more often. For self harm he is to journal how he would respond to a friend in that situation, engage in physical activity of some sort, and allow you to treat any injuries he may endure. For his bulimia, he has an extensive journaling exercise to work through his misplaced guilt. For his nightmares, he is going to try to talk about them or at the very least write them down. I've taken the liberty of writing down more details about the exercises for you Harry," George explained as he pulled out a leather journal with a gold emblem on the front. He slipped his notes in the front and handed it to Harry as he asked, "Any questions?"

"Have you discussed plans on how to move forward with your meetings?" Severus asked.

"We have not, thank you for mentioning that, Severus. I don't want to overwhelm Harry to much, but this is also quite a serious matter. So I'd like to have a more intense meeting on the weekend. Harry may choose the day and the time, but I'd like to plan on around four hours for that meeting. And then one scheduled follow up, less intense meeting during the week. Again, Harry may choose the day and time, but I'd like to plan on around an hour. And no, Harry, you may not miss class for it," George explained.

"Umm...could we do Saturday morning for the intense meeting. Maybe 8am-12pm?" Harry asked timidly.

"Of course," George stated as he wrote it down in his planner and then offered, "and you may change the day or time as needed so long as you let me know ahead of time."

"Thank you. And, umm... Tuesday is my least busy day since we don't have quidditch games on Tuesday. So could we do an hour right after classes on Tuesdays?" Harry asked.

"Certainly," George answered scribbling it down in his notebook. "And where would you like to meet?" George asked next.

"Umm, Professor, would it be okay for us to use your quarters on Tuesdays?" Harry asked.

"It is our quarters now, Harry. Certainly, that would be most practical. You are more than welcome to use our quarters for your Saturday sessions as well if you'd like?" Severus offered.

"Umm...actually, Healer Wiley, would it be an option for me to visit your cabin by the ocean on Saturdays? It's so peaceful there."

"Of course, Harry. I'm glad you like it there, and I must say that the atmosphere is brightened by your love of it. I'll look forward to seeing you there. I'll write down the name of the floo and the password as well," George offered as he quickly scribbled clear instructions for the child. Then the man looked to Severus once again and asked, "One thing I still need to address is the malnutrition. May I assume that you have a plan of action?"

"Yes, Harry is starting with the meal plans he started when he was first taken in by Sirius. I've also been working on his nutrition potions which he'll take with every meal starting at dinner this evening. I'd planned on only administering a stomach soother when Harry thought it necessary, although the last time we went through this process Harry took a stomach soother before each large meal for the first week of each step of our plan to get him back to a healthy weight. Would that be more prudent?" Severus asked.

"I believe that providing Harry a stomach soother before each meal for the time being. We could possibly reevaluate things once there's improvement with your bulimia, Harry. How does this sound to you?" George asked moving his attention to young child.

"I-I think that would be...I would appreciate it," Harry answered quietly.

"Very well, then that is how we shall proceed," Severus said with a nod.

"Perfect, I'll look forward to seeing you at 8 am this Saturday, Harry," George said as he stood.

"Thank you, Healer Wiley," Harry said at the same time Severus said, "Thank you, George, I'll show you to the floo and get you a copy of the passwords."

"You are both very welcome. I'll see you this Saturday at 8am, Harry," George said with a smile and a wave.