This is my attempt at the Reptilia 28 challenge. I wished to give it a go and see how I do. Harry dies many times and death's Angel will lose his job if Harry dies anymore times. Harry is sent back to the past with his memories intact to find Hermione his soul mate and fix things. Please read and review, love Moon x
Harry was surprised to find himself sitting in an armchair. He'd not realised heaven would be like this but here he was none the less. If he was honest he'd be saying he was relieved it was all over or so he thought at least. He jumped as someone stormed in and a desk appeared before him which the man threw some piles of manila folders onto. He turned to Harry barely concealed rage on his face. Harry now looked annoyed as well. The man flipped open the manila folder in front of him his face getting angrier if that was even possible. "Harry James Potter just you wait till I'm through with you but first EARL GET YOUR ARSE IN HERE NOW!" he shouted as a nervous younger looking man came in trembling.
"You asked to see me Vince?" he questioned.
"What did I tell you the last time Earl? No more fucking cake. You've been eating death by chocolate and now you've smudged parts of Mr Potter's bloody file so that I cannot even read them. Clean your damn hands and get out. You see Harry you'll find even in heaven we have a filing department and clerical errors do happen. What in the name of Merlin's left saggy testicle were you doing? You died and now I am on thin ice. If you die any more times I'll lose my damn job!" he thundered as Harry looked as though he was going to shout but then stopped himself which seemed to surprise Vince.
"Who are you? I am sorry I am causing you trouble. I died to save everyone but what you're saying makes it sound like I died before. Surely I couldn't have died before right?" he asked sounding highly freaked out.
"My name is Vincent Price otherwise known as death. Yes the death here in the flesh or death as you would perceive him at least. As you understand I am a death representative as the real death couldn't be everywhere at once to attend to all the dead out there. I am a death angel if you prefer but I do have the powers of death as he has granted them to me. Now then you did die before five times in fact. FIVE TIMES MR POTTER!" he snapped as Harry jumped to his feet so suddenly it nearly made him very dizzy but didn't.
"How did I die huh and why don't I remember meeting you before now? I would have remembered! I know I would! Tell me now Vince!" he snapped as he was levelled with an evil stare.
"Sit the fuck down you drama queen. Every time someone dies before they are meant to they are sent back to the earth to live again and their memories of meeting a death angel representative are erased from their memories. I shall now tell you how you died!" he snapped opening another manila folder and grumbling obscenities about Earls love of bloody cake every two damn minutes of the day.
"On November 2nd 1981 you died of Frostbite after Albus too many names Dumbledore left you on the doorstep of the Dursleys in the middle of the night in winter. It never occurred to the idiot that ringing the bell and actually speaking to them might be a good idea instead of leaving you there with a note to die in the fucking cold so that death is his fault!" he snapped as Harry looked stunned. So stunned was he though that he couldn't even begin to process all he'd been told. He'd died as a baby because Dumbledore didn't wish to wake the Dursleys. Is this seriously what he was being told right now? Vince cleared his throat again making Harry look back up at him.
"On July 31st 1984 on your fourth birthday you died when Dudley Michael Dursley chased you out into the street where Vernon Dursley was speeding in his new car so that death is on Vernon and Dudley together!" he said seriously. Harry wasn't at all shocked to hear that. It would be just like Vernon to be showing off his wealth and so happen to kill his nephew at the same time.
"On October 10th 1991 both you and Neville Frances Longbottom died when you rushed in to save him like a fucking hero and got you both killed. Rolanda Hooch is there for a reason and could have safely guided his broom down but no you had to be the fucking hero didn't you. After all the shit he went through before school and then your theatrics happen and he ends up dying again. I am not allowed to tell you how many times he died either so don't even think of asking me that question!" he said stunned as Harry cried. He looked so utterly ashamed of himself and death looked proud for a moment but then remembering all Harry had been through sobered him up at once. He'd need to stop forgetting Harry was a child.
"December 25th 1996 Draconis Abraxas Malfoy attempted to throw himself off the Astronomy tower and you yet again dived in to try and save him killing you both. The last time you died was obviously today. If you die even one more time Mr Potter I am toast. You were meant to live until the rape old age of let's see here one hundred and ninety seven years old at the side of your soulmate. Damn Earl to hell I can't read this over his chocolate stains but it's something Gray. I don't know some Granger girl!" he said shocked as Harry looked annoyed.
"What the hell? Look Hermione is wonderful and indeed a wonderful friend but truth be told she's too annoying to love. I couldn't love someone who would need control and schedules for every aspect of her life. She'd nag me all the time to read and never give me a break!" he thundered as Vince rose to his feet quickly.
"Yes well that's what potions will do to someone especially when administered by Albus Dumbledore and Molly Weasley. Albus if you don't know gave Ms Granger a potion at the start of her first year to exaggerate any tendencies she had to the max. Ms Granger was studious but his potion made her unbearable about scheduling everything and studying none stop so much so that she did have no friends outside of you and didn't want them either. She became obsessed with being the best and nagging you and others around her constantly to want to do better always no matter what. If you'll remember she told you being expelled from school was worse than death itself!" he said with a knowing look. Harry looked utterly crestfallen. He shed tears for Hermione feeling awful about always judging her so much for how those potions had made her act obviously without knowing about it first. He'd even contemplated not being her friend any longer recently because she was so overbearing. He blew his nose on the tissue he'd removed from the box of them on the desk which had the phrase I'm not heartless on the box. It was a play on words which Harry did find amusing and he chuckled slightly despite himself.
"You said Molly Weasley gave her a potion please explain yourself as the Molly Weasley I knew treated us both as family and would never have done that!" he said sounding so very sure of himself.
"In your sixth year said Molly Weasley grew tired of her two youngest children always complaining about you both loving everyone but them and gave you both very strong love potions. It is no coincidence that you randomly and suddenly loved Ginevra like that out of nowhere. As for Ronald well she was overwhelmed because the idiot kept having too many children to be able to focus on all of them and dosed Hermione to love Ron in order to get him out of her hair. It really is that simple. If she'd closed her legs once in a while the fool might not be so overwhelmed all the damn time. Couple her potion with that of Albus and you can see why you thought of Miss Granger as you did. Ronald and Ginevra continued dosing your food while you were at school and that doesn't even begin to count the money Dumbledore was paying them from your own vault to be your friend!" he snapped as Harry grabbed for his throat feeling as though he couldn't breathe when suddenly a huge blue bubble shot from his chest and dispersed as he felt very light and free something he could never ever remember feeling. He heard Vince mutter to himself that the potion was now gone from his system as he read through some files before him.
"Now Mr Potter it goes without saying you'll be returning to a time of your choice before your fourth year. I would advise going to the bank and having your parents wills read. It will be enlightening to say the least. Yes they did have one and yes Albus Dumbledore hid it and the fact that he was stealing funds from the Potter vault from you too. It will allow you to become emancipated meaning you will not have to live with your relatives should you choose to. While Albus thought the blood wards he placed were perfect he is cocky and a bit too cocky at that and got it wrong. Instead of blood wards he placed regular ones thinking they were blood ones!" he advised as Harry sat up straighter. He had a steely look of determination in his eyes that death had not seen there before.
"Whatever about everything else that he actually condemned me to Durskaban intentionally really hurts and moreover that I didn't need to remain there like he said I did. What a joke! Was any of it real? And my parents came when I used the stone and told me it was ok to die" he said angrily as Vince smacked the table in rage.
"I made that stone to fool those foolish Peverell brothers who thought solely of themselves and not anyone else. The stone was designed to tell people anything they would need to hear in order to get them to kill themselves or in your case allow someone else to kill them. It was never meant for you but for that insolent prick Tom Marvolo Riddle or Voldemort if you will. He was meant to use it and be forced to kill himself if you weren't successful at killing him that is. What kind of world expects one person to kill Voldemort without a shred of help? A fucked up one that's what!" he snapped alarming Harry and he grabbed him roughly forcing an antidote to all the potions in his system as he choked it down and coughed as some black stuff came out of him at once upon which it dissipated. He was free at last wow.
Harry had always felt he was meant to kill to Voldemort but had never realised how little help he had needed until it wasn't actually there. Dumbledore had essentially said he couldn't help even though he most certainly could have. Come to think of it he never helped Sirius when he could have either. It would seem when Harry was minus the potions in his system he could think freely and boy was he doing a lot of thinking right now. Before he had the chance to say when he wished to return and under what conditions the door to the right of him opened with Lily pulling James by his ear into the room as said man squealed.
"What have you to say to your son James? DO IT NOW!" she thundered as James jumped.
"I shouldn't have to, ow, but Harry I am sorry for how I treated Severus at school. He did deserve it for being a death eating scumbag but I should have thought more about my actions!" he said as Harry scowled at him deeply.
"Yes and I'm the king of Peru. Next time you say something like that dad you should try and actually mean it. I was treated so very horribly by that man because I resembled you. In a small way part of it is your fault too. Severus was an utter jerk but it would seem this world is full of those lately. The fact that either of you thought bullying anyone was the answer makes you both awful men. Look Dad I love you and I'll always love you but I'm not proud of you. You weren't a death eater and should have behaved better but didn't. I saw his memories of his childhood and it was like mine. I also saw what you did and I just want to you know that I know about it. I'm not sure he knows I saw that much but it's a moot point now!" he snapped as Lily regarded her son seriously for the moment.
"Harry I love you so very much. You've been so very brave my darling boy but you have also been lied to so very much by those we actually trusted. We never cared what Hogwarts house you went into or at least I didn't anyway. I will not presume to answer for your father as that would be wrong. What did he do to Severus as I've only seen a look that bad once before and it wasn't coming from you!" Lily said looking highly worried indeed.
"He almost killed Severus and yet again because I looked so much like the man who almost killed him I was tormented by him. I lived through hell at the Dursleys and then had to deal with the bullshit that is Severus. No one should ever have to suffer that idiot and his actions! I mean seriously dad why couldn't you ever think before you acted!" he said sounding more exacerbated as he went on. He noticed Lily stiffen considerably as James looked annoyed.
"Great going Harry! Now she'll be annoyed with me for ages! Ugh! I love you so very much but did you have to make my life so damn difficult just now?" James snapped as Lily rounded on him looking furious. Vince sat there with some popcorn watching the drama unfold. It was after all quite fun and entertaining to someone like him.
"James Charlus Potter you tell me right now what you did to Severus and don't you ever blame our son for anything. He is not responsible for what he saw!" she snapped as James looked at her almost as though he'd been slapped.
"It was stupid but Severus had saying such bad things about you and Mary McKinnon that I lashed out and let slip that the Shrieking Shack would be a great and interesting place for him to go. He went there on the night of one of Mooney's transformations where a highly frightened Mooney almost ate him to death and would have succeeded if not for Sirius um saving his life. I intended to scare him I didn't seriously think Mooney would freak out like that. I couldn't have predicted he'd do that. He was just being so evil and vile to everyone that I thought a good an genuine scare might make him see the light whether he was ready or not!" he explained as Lily pinched the bridge of her nose in rage which she was barely concealing.
"To be honest James I have thought often about forcing Severus to see the light one way or another and I have realised I cannot do that. If he wants to become light he will do so on his own. I really can't believe you would do this to him. He suffered enough at home he really didn't need this. Yes Severus did awful and heinous things but I do know he was just trying to find somewhere to belong because his drunk and belligerent father often spent all their money so he didn't have money for new robes at all. Imagine Harry the Weasley family only poorer. He could only afford one new robe which you destroyed without replacing I might add. I cannot forgive Severus for how he treated you Harry and I will never forgive James for almost killing him. Just do your level best Harry and know always I love you so very much. Read our wills at the bank and emancipate yourself. We must go now!" said Lily sobbing as she hugged Harry close. She had said everything really quickly so she'd get it all out and be able to hug him closely before she'd need to leave again. Harry hugged her tightly and for the first realised how unhealthy Mrs Weasleys hugs were as you almost always ended up unable to breathe when you got them. Lily's hugs were firm and reassuring yet gentle. They left through the door in which they'd entered after James gave Harry a cuddle. Harry was so very confused because he really did love his dad but he was not proud in any way of him.
Vince cleared his throat and gestured to the seat as Harry sat back down. "Now this time we shall return you to your first year as it would be easier all around. I will need you to sign this parchment here which will allow you to keep your memories of your old life this one time. Now obviously we cannot send you back defenceless. Tell me your conditions and they will be met to the best of my ability" he said as Harry looked stunned for a moment as he signed the contract before him and felt his memories locking into a part of his brain only he could access.
"No one including Hermione should ever question why I have future information. It would be best. In the last timeline she always wanted to know everything all the time and it did get her into trouble. As I am here saving your bacon you will do what I say or I will refuse to return! You will insure that Neville Longbottom has his own wand no matter what should happen to him later on and that his core is always full. I have a sneaking feeling it was tampered with before. I want occlumency and a full core myself which no one is to be able to tamper with. Should anyone look inside my head all they are to see is one solid colour pf any choice. Um lastly I need a wand without the trace on it that I can use at my relatives house!" he snapped as Vince winced.
"When you get back you should head straight to the bank and tell them that you wish to see your parents wills. If they ask you about your vault key act as though you don't know what it even is as this will alert them to something being wrong with your accounts and prompt them to make you Lord Potter at once. This will emancipate you and give you the perfect occlumency you so desire. Also if I were you I would get an inheritance test done at once. Remember to do all you can to stay alive and bond with Miss Granger. Don't die before your time. You'll have you wand on you when you wake up!" said Vince banging a gavel which was black and smoking which he seemed to have pulled from somewhere.
As he banged it Harry disappeared and elsewhere in Longbottom Manor there was a minor explosion as Neville's core was unbound and Franks wand broken to smithereens where Augusta had been keeping it ready to give to Neville when the time was right. As it exploded before her eyes she began to cry. Neville would now need his own wand something she saw as an extreme failure however when she went towards the sound of the blast at speed and saw Neville levitating many things in his room including the bed he was currently on before setting it back down again gently with such control she fainted. She soon regained consciousness and seemed to realise all of a sudden for some reason she couldn't think of that he'd be perfect for any Hogwarts house. "I feel clear inside now it's so cool. It's like my magic can finally get out or something!" he said as Augusta cried when she realised he was describing a magical core block even if he himself didn't know it. Harry awoke in his cupboard and smiled things would be different for sure.