As the screams and shouts grew louder, so did the pressing need to escape crawl under my skin. Unfamiliar tears sprang into my eyes as I heard another explosion shake the walls above me, followed by the gruesome sound of dying bodies. I could do nothing from where I stood, yet never before had I felt such a distinct sense of fear that begged for self-preservation. I was trapped, whether or not I wanted to be, and soon whatever monster trampled above would find me and wreak havoc on my soul.

Despite this, my only thoughts were for Kaidasa. Maker forbid, as I heard the creature move closer to the chamber I dreaded the worst - that my nightmares had come true, and before me walked a puppet of my beloved mageling. The noise steadily grew worse until debris and dust began to crumble from my prison walls.

Chanting a low, guttural prayer under my breath, I fell to my knees and hugged the phylactery to my body. I prayed to Andraste that she would be kept safe. I begged the Maker for mercy - to forgive my folly. Should I escape this alive and find her, I would follow in his footsteps for the rest of my life. I would lay down my life and cause in the name of Andraste. Just let her be safe.

As I conjured between pleas for redemption and fervent prayer I heard the tell-tale crack of broken wood. The monster had found me finally, and would tear me apart before I ever got the chance to find her. I stood to my feet to face my fate, still clutching her phylactery, and heard the jail door thrown open. Bare, slow foosteps echoed down the empty stone hall, and as I took in a breath - I looked up to meet the eyes of my maker.

Kaidasa stood before me, a twisted creature of her former self. Empty, black eyes stared at me through the strands of weightless raven hair. Her skin looked bruised, though as she stepped closer I saw they were scales emerging from beneath her pale skin. I had the sudden urge to vomit, and stumbled back when her eyes set upon the prize clutched in my grasp.

I was shaking so badly I could not think to defend myself. She reached out for the door, then suddenly drew back with a pained expression. The phylactery grew suddenly hot in my hand. I shouted when I felt it begin to burn my palm, and on instinct released the boiling vial. It dropped to the floor and shattered at my feet.

Startled, I looked back up from the smoking, red stain to observe the demon before me. She screamed and began to twist and crumple into her own form. The bars of my cage crumbled into themselves like paper. I had to crush my hands over my ears to block out the horrible shrieks of the creature. Even so, I could not bear the sound and fell to my knees in pain.

After a few more horrible screams, she fell to her knees in front of the wreckage that had been my prison. I opened my eyes and removed my hands, staring at her in horror. Smoke rose from her body, and under the blood stains I could see her flesh was her own once more. For a moment I forgot what I'd seen, and reached out a trembling hand.

"K-Kadai..sa?" I dared ask. The woman I knew, the sweet and soft-hearted mage I had grown fond of was not present when the creature raised its head. Glowing, white eyes stared at me - confused - before standing to its feet. Though she looked so terribly frightened, I could not bring myself to take a step forward. Fear set into my heart like a knife, and whenever she reached out a hand for me I saw that it was still the claws of the demon, and pulled away.

She regarded her own hands with the fear of a child. Then, looking back up to me with a sadness I could not fathom, she turned and ran from me. My Kaidasa left.

By the time the shock subsided, she had long disappeared from my sight. One of the guards told me she had ran through the front gates without stopping, then dove right into the lake and disappeared into the fog. I said nothing when the men arrived to help me out of the prison rubble. Though shaken, I was otherwise unharmed.

I walked the halls with them as a ghost. Echoes of wounded templar and magi alike filled the halls like the cries of forsaken ghouls. Blood splatters and limbs marked the path where she had been, and the further up the tower I walked the more deadened my body became.

It was when we finally reached the Harrowing chamber and I looked upon the mangled form of my headless commander that it sunk in. Irving knelt in the corner over the bleeding remains of our First Enchanter, still trying to heal a body long absent of its soul. Something shut off inside of me, and as I turned to my subordinates I felt any possibly remnants of sorrow disappear completely. Cold, relentless guilt remained, burrowing deep into my chest as the metal of a blade. There it would remain.

I have made a mistake.

The commander was right, as he had always been. Many times I had listened to his droning concerns of the tower's safety. Many times I had ignored his angry pleas to not let a mage get the best of me. I had chosen exile of my own people, and in turn I now regarded their blood on my hands as a reminder of what I had failed to do. My faceless gaze turned to the remaining men now gathered in the chamber, some still written by the raw horror of what they had witnessed.

I would never doubt again.

"Ser," they repeated. I had not been listening. I turned my attention to one of the men standing at my side - a lieutenant by the name of Henry. I waited for his response, bereft of words.

"Ser… the Commander is dead," he echoed in a dull, strained voice. I looked back to the decapitated corpse of my leader, then back at the boy with a frown.

"I can see that," I ground out. A twinge prodded the back of my mind, though I ignored it. A chill swept over my body. In the distance of the third floor, a distinctly female cry wept over a lost lover. The sound filled the chamber. I did not move, though a few of the men shifted in their stance.

"Do you not realize?" he continued. I felt my patience snapping, the hysteria threatening to overtake me and relent with the hate burning in my hands. Clenching my fists, I stared down at the bloody stone floor and forced the emotions back down. My heart thundered in my chest.

"Ser… you're Knight-Commander now."