Harlow stumbled down the stairway, narrowly missing crashing to the ground. Her lungs burned as she struggled to breathe. She could feel her heart beating erratically in her ribcage and, without noticing, her hand darted up to rub against her chest. Faces blurred in her vision as tears began to stream down her face. Her feet touch the dirt at the bottom of the staircase and she almost weeps.
Someone calls her name from the main hall and she darts off. She tears through the courtyard, dodging people left and right. Hurdling over a downed wall of stone, she slips, falling to the ground with a crash. She tumbled, coming to rescue on her back, the air whooshed from her lungs. Eyes open slowly, focusing on the blue sky above her.
Her lungs still burned. Sniffling, she brushed the tears from her eyes. Laying on the ground, with the hustle and bustle of Skyhold, she broke. Sobs wrack her entire body as she lets the severity of the world crash down upon her. The breach, the tension between templars and mages, trying to keep everyone together while also trying to save the world… She was just one person. How is one person supposed to fix everything in the world? Especially when that one single person could barely fix the things wrong within herself.
Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't notice someone walking up to her. She didn't hear the soft chuckle or notice when someone drops down on the grass next to her. Slowly, her heartbeat slows back to normal. Once her breathing returned to normal and her body relaxed, she turned her head, meeting the dark chocolate gaze of the man next to her.
"If I had known you had taken up sprinting, my dear, I would have joined you," Dorian said, his eyes showing the worry his light tone didn't portray. "I can't have you showing me up, you know."
A laugh rumbles from Harlow's chest, and with it, the remaining tension bleeds from her body.
"Tell me what happened," Dorian began, his eyes sweeping over all the angles of her face. "What got into that pretty little head of yours?"
"Everything," Harlow replied, her face once again turning back to the sky. "The breach and the templars and the mages. Trying to fix everything for everyone else. I make one decision and upset seven other people. It's all just… There." She sniffled, closing her eyes once again. "How am I supposed to fix all of this when I'm just some squishy little human who got thrust into this mess. In ten years I'll just be a name in books, faded back into non-existence."
"A 'squishy little human?' Are you mad?!"
"We are all a bit mad here, are we not?"
"That's besides the point!" he throws his hands up in the air in desperation. "You walked into this situation, this absolute mess, and almost single handedly put things back together. You are, without a doubt, the most amazing person I've ever met. You are more important than you realize."
"I can't do this, Dorian," she whispered, shrinking into herself. "I can- How am I supposed to do all of this?
"With us. With your friends and your advisors. Every single person who comes to Skyhold with hope in their eyes. Hope that you put there. You're not just the face of this inquisition, you know. You're the heart of it, too. One day, after all of this is done and over with, I'll take you to all of cities, all of the best sights in the world, and you'll see just how important you are in the grand scheme of things."
The heart of the Inquisition. Harlow's lips turned into a soft smile and, for the first time in weeks, hope bloomed in her chest. She turned her head once again, meeting Dorian's eyes once again. His eyes twinkled with happiness and mischief as his lips curled into a devious grin.
"If I'm the heart of the inquisition," she began as she surged to her feet. She glanced down at him with a smirk. "Does that make you the ass, Ser Pavus?"
"The ass-" Dorian sputtered, shooting onto his feet. "I would have you know that my ass is the finest of all Tevinter, madam."
Harlow shot him a wink before taking off, headed back toward the main hall. She hears Dorian shout her name and start running. The weight of the world finally off her shoulders, she feels lighter. Free. And, with her newfound freedom, she scampered up the steps, dashing into Josie's office. Throwing the door shut behind her, she leaned against it, chest heaving as she attempted to control her breathing.
"Inquisitor. To what do I owe the pleasure of you bursting into my office looking like, well. That," Josie asked, one perfect eyebrow arched. In the main hall, they could hear Dorian shout for the Inquisitor, his footsteps darting up the stairs to her room. "Terrorizing the mage, are we?"
"Josephine!" Harlow replied with a smile. "You know that I'd never terrorize any of our friends."
"And I can fly, Lady Inquisitor."
"A flying diplomat? My, my, my aren't we lucky."
"Inquisitor?"
"Yes, my dear Josephine?"
"Get out of my office."
"Yes ma'am."
Harlow stood, panting, bloodied, and bruised, glaring at the creature before her. Corypheus wore a sinister smirk, standing at his full height, smug. Around her, her companions struggled to get back on their feet. Bull pushed himself to his knees, his face contorted in fear and anger. He shook his head, his eyes begging for her to not do anything stupid. Cassandra laid off to the side, blood gushing from a gash on the forehead, pale and bruised, unconscious. Dorian struggled to his feet, leaning heavily on his staff, face set in a grim line.
"You think you can defeat me? A mere mortal against a god?" Corypheus' voice boomed, bouncing off the ruined walls of the temple. "You stand no chance. Look at your friends! Weak. Worthless. Broken."
Anger burns in her veins. She threw her shoulders back, eyes ablaze, and gripped her bow tighter in her hand. Her limbs screamed with the movement but she gritted her teeth, powering through to notch another arrow. Corypheus laughed, the sound making her skin crawl.
"Release your arrow, Inquisitor, for it will do nothing. You cannot kill a god. Your little inquisition will do nothing. Here you will die!"
She releases the arrow, her anger flaring even more as the arrow bounced off a shard of lyrium. Bull stood, wobbling on his feet slightly, and charges with a feral war cry. Dorian raised his staff, an angry snarl carved onto his face. Harlow's eyes go wide, fear lancing her heart.
"Bull! No!" she screamed, heart shattering as she watched Corypheus bat away the Qunari like he was weightless. Mere seconds later, Corypheus launched a fireball, knocking the smaller man to the ground. "Dorian!"
Corypheus ambushed her, wrapping his clawed hand around her throat. Desperate, she dug her nails into the skin of his arm while her feet kicked out weakly. Her actions were rewarded with another dark chuckle from the darkspawn magister and had him tightening his grip even more. Her lungs screamed, desperate for just one gulp of air. Her face turned as red as the lyrium that glowed along the man's body.
"Silly little thing," Corypheus said as he flexed his fingers against her throat again, his maniacal grin growing larger. "You thought you'd make a difference. Save the world and be a hero." He threw her to the ground and laughed when she choked, trying to drag air into her desperate lungs. "You thought you were important. Do you want to know a secret, Inquisitor?"
Her wheeze of a breath seemed to be enough of an answer for him, as he continued his monologue.
"Years from now they will not remember your name or your little inquisition. You will be nothing and no one. Just a worthless little worm that attempted to fight the bird. Nothing but bone meal and dust – a stepping stone that I used to reach ultimate glory."
"Ultimate glory?" Harlow replied with a snort, voice raspy and dulled with pain. "I understand that you probably haven't had company in a long time but it's frowned upon to talk about your ultimate glory in company."
"Are you seriously making that joke now?!" Dorian snapped, his voice weak.
"You talk entirely too much," Harlow said to Corypheus as she slowly stood.
Corypheus blinked slowly, trying to decipher this strange human. She was either prideful or stupid. Probably both, he thought, as he watched her wipe the blood from the corner of her mouth. Were she not an enemy, he might have admired her dedication. As it were, she was as annoying as the flies that buzzed around the room but never within distance to smack down.
A snap of his fingers and Harlow was in his grip once again. Her face morphed into anger, a feral snarl playing across her split lips. He shook her like a ragdoll, taking great joy in hearing her teeth clack together with each shake. Her left hand came to rest on his arm, the dark green energy swirling around the limb, searing into his skin.
Corypheus hissed, tossing the inquisitor once again. This time, she bounced back to her feet immediately. Blood dripped down her arm and swirled into the anchor, the magic getting darker drop by drop. She looked for Bull and found him struggling to his feet, his movements slow and sloppy, his mouth open in a scream. Dorian had rolled to his side, wide eyes glued on her. She gave them both a sad smile before she turned her attention back to Corypheus.
"You're wrong, you know," she said as she stalked her way to Corypheus. "I'm not no one. I am not nothing. I'm the heart of the damn Inquisition."
With that being said, she launched herself toward him. The magic of the anchor surrounded her lithe frame and lit in her eyes. Corypheus's eyes grew wide, astonished that she had changed the makeup of the anchor itself. She slammed into his body and knocked him to the ground. Her hands cupped his face and, with one last grin, she drove every ounce of magic she could conjure from her being directly into his face. His screams echoed throughout the clearing while his body writhed in pain.
It was burning her alive. She could feel the power, the pain, the absolute fury, destroying her very cells. The magic wrapped her very organs in its velvety, demolishing embrace, and she burned from within. The light bled out of Corypheus' eyes mere seconds before the anchor's power ate away at his body. To her, it felt like hours, when in reality, it had only been a few minutes.
Once the magister's body disintegrated, the fire of the anchor fizzed out. She collapsed, her body crashed to the ground, no longer having the strength to keep herself upright. Her breath rattled deep within her lungs, each intake of breath sounded sticky, wet. Bull crashed onto the ground next to her and drew her battered body into his arms. Tears fell from his cheeks and dropped onto her cheeks, an audible sizzle seeping into the air between them. Dorian reached them shortly after, desperately attempting to find something – anything – that could help her.
"You can save her, right?" Bull begged, his gaze sweeping over her face. "Dorian you can save her! You can do something. Don't worry, Kadan. We'll fix you. Just hold on. Hold on!"
Dorian felt helpless. She looked as if the sun had chewed her and spit her out, normally porcelain white skin was now angry and red, blistered and bleeding. He heard the death rattle from her lungs and his heart sank. Desperately, he searched through the satchel he had prepared, grasping salves and potions. He had to try. He had to save her.
"My boys," she coughed out, struggling to touch a hand to their cheeks. "Stop. This cannot be fixed."
"To hell it can't!" Bull roared as he tightened his grip on her body. "We can fix you. We can! Where's Solas? He might know-"
"Bull!" she butted in before a cough steals her next word.
He stopped and ground his teeth together. He didn't want to admit that she was too far gone. The first person he'd ever truly loved. The only person he'd ever envisioned spending his life with – to grow old with. Her hand fell from his face and his heart damn near stopped in his chest.
"Kadan?" he asked, voice cracking.
"My heart," she replied weakly, a small, serene smile upon her face. "My heart. My friend. My boys."
Dorian's head dropped down and placed a soft kiss at the top of her forehead. His heart shattered in a thousand small pieces. He grasped her hand in his as he blinked back tears. Her eyes began to lose their shine, her body began to grow cold, and he finally accepted there was nothing else he could do.
"You were right, you know," he rasped as tears ran down their cheeks. "You are the heart of the inquisition. But I need you to get better, Harlow. We have all those journeys to go on, remember?"
"Take my heart with you," she replied, voice weak. "You'll need to take care of it for me."
Dorian tore his eyes from her pale face and looked at Bull. He watched the Qunari clench his jaw and shake his large head, causing the other man to duck to avoid a horn to the head.
"I promise you," Dorian whispered, placing her cold palm to his thudding heart. "I promise you I'll look after him for you, dear heart."
"I love you," she whispered, eyes finally falling closed, while her chest rose just one last time.
The roar that Bull released shook the very ground. The wail that tore from Dorian's throat broke the hearts of everyone around. Bull cradled her broken body against him as his hands smoothed away the wispy hairs atop her head. Dorian shifted and sat on the ground, arms dangled atop his knees, and stared into the distance. His mind ran a thousand miles a minute, thoughts stumbled over one another in a massive mess.
Cassandra finally stirred, rising up only to see the broken body of her inquisitor, her friend, held against Bull's chest as the larger man rocked back and forth, pleading for her to open her eyes. She stood and turned, watching as the other companions piled into the clearing, cheers erupted from the masses until they finally realized the heartache that sat before them.
"The Inquisitor.. Is she?" Cullen asked as he swallowed over the lump in his throat.
Hours later, when the dead had been carted off and the lucky ones to survive had been toted to hospitalization tents, Bull finally laid her broken body on the ground. He surged to his feet and wiped his tears away with his forearm. Dorian's haunted, empty eyes finally shifted from the void and drifted to Bull. The larger man held out a hand, and Dorian nodded slightly before he grasped it and was hauled to his feet.
"I'll carry her back," Bull said sadly, staring down at his beloved. "I- we- Ahem. Someone needs to tell Moirah. I need to tell Moirah."
Dorian nodded and watched as Bull gathered her body in his arms. The sight of her lead lolling back, off his arm, caused his stomach to turn. Bull took a deep breath before he started on his way back, his steps slow and deliberate. Dorian cleared his throat and followed suit, only stopping when he saw her bow discarded on the ground. He grabbed the discarded weapon and held it close to his chest as he followed, his eyes trained on Bull's back.
Twenty Five Years Later
They stood before the headstone, shoulder to shoulder, staring down at the words:
Harlow
Our very heart
Mother, Lover, Friend
Hero
Dorian stepped forward, one hand wrapped around a bow, the other squeezed a worn purple stone. Twenty five years ago he had stood in this very spot, dressed in black, eyes red rimmed and heart bleeding, to say goodbye to his best friend. He had ensured that her messaging stone was wrapped within her fingers, even having known that she'd never use it again.
Today, he stood before her resting place, a sad smile and tears streaming down his face. He took great strength from Bull standing behind him, the Qunari having become his closest friend and confidante. With a deep breath, Dorian took the necessary few steps to crouch before the headstone. He brushed some debris away before he placed the bow against the granite stone.
"We did it, you know," Dorian whispered, fingertips brushing over her name. "We visited every city. Ate at every little café that you would have loved. Everybody knew you, you know. The Heart of the Inquisition." He chuckled, the sound watery. "You were the best traveling partner, you know. You never put up a fight about sleeping arrangements or were picky about your food."
Bull approached quietly, his hands clasped around a smaller one. It had been years since he had brought her here. They hadn't come back since Harlow's funeral. It had been too much. Too intense. Too… heartbreaking. Moirah cautiously approached the headstone, her eyes trained on her uncle's back, taking a note of how his shoulders shook with silent sobs.
"She's just like you, you know," Dorian said, tightening his grip on the stone. "Her smile lights up a room. Her attitude… I can't tell if she gets it from you or from Bull. She has your eyes. And she likes oysters!" His nose wrinkled. "She's grown into a fine woman, Harlow. A woman that you would be proud of."
Bull placed his hand on Dorian's shoulder and squeezed it slightly. Dorian nodded before getting up, patting Bull's shoulder. He gave Moirah a wobbly smile before he embraced her, tightly holding her to him. She squeezed him tightly, hating how he seemed so small. He pressed a kiss to her temple before they took a few steps back, giving Bull his moment alone.
"Kadan," Bull whispered, his voice hoarse. "I know I haven't come to see you in, well, years. It's been hard. Well, no. Shit. I haven't been able to. Coming to see you here, it makes it final, you know? It means you're truly gone." He cleared his throat. "She misses you. She talks about how your hair smelled of daisies and how warm your hugs were and how your smile reminded her of the sun. The Chargers.. They still dedicate wins to you. You're toasted every time they bust open a keg." He leaned forward, pressing his lips to the cold stone. "I miss you, Kadan. My heart." He stood and scrubbed his hands roughly over his face. "We're back now. For good, this time. We'll be back. I promise you we'll be back."
Moirah wrapped her father in a tight hug when he came back. He held her in his arms, buried his nose in her hair, and relished in the smell of daisies and sunshine. His only piece of his love left. His best friend, his entire life. Without pulling away, Bull grabbed Dorian and pulled him into the hug. How long the three stood there, wrapped up in one another, they were not sure.
From the other side of the veil, however, Harlow stood, hip propped up against her headstone, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. From her position here, she wrapped one hand around the messaging stone and the other around the dragon tooth around her neck, and poured every ounce of herself into the actions.
As Dorian's hand warmed from the stone and the weight of the dragon tooth that dangled on the chain settled deeply onto his chest, they heard a whispered "I love you," upon the wind. The three of them broke apart, staring at the headstone, while Harlow stared back from the other side of the veil.
"Come back soon," she whispered on a choked sob, her eyes roaming over the three most important people in her life. "Please.. come back soon."
She watched as they turned and made their way up the path, her heart aching. One day, they would be with her. One day she'd be able to wrap her lover in her arms or laugh so hard that she cried with her friend. They'd be able to watch Moirah grow into the person she was meant to be, together, as they should have done years ago.
One day.
Bull leaned against the door frame, watching his daughter bring a pencil across a sheet of paper, deep in thought. She worried her tongue between her teeth while her brow furrowed, all of her attention focused on the task at hand. Her masterpiece today looked like a sketch of her mother, eyes closed with a happy smile, arms wrapped around a younger Moirah. His heart clenched as it always did, both hurt and pride warring away within his body.
A red curl slipped its loose confinement atop her head, dropping over an eye. He grins as she absentmindedly slipped the lock behind her left ear, her eyes never having left the drawing. He pushed his body from the doorway to make his way across the room. She paid no attention, however, to him, something that almost put a frown on his face.
"You're just like her, you know," he said quietly as he plopped his big frame into a chair next to her. "All lost in a world in your head that only you can see."
Moirah squeaked in surprise, finally drawing herself from the drawing. "Dad! Maker's breath, you scared me."
"I used to do the same thing to your mother," he chuckled as he crossed his thick arms. "You get that from her, you know? Your ability to create something from nothing. If she wasn't busy trying to save the damn world she was drawing something in some cramped corner. Before you, of course."
"What was she like? I can only remember.. Well. I can only remember that she smelled of daisies and her smile made me feel safe. I can remember the shape of her face and the slope of her nose or how she was there whenever I had a bad dream. How she would always braid flowers into my hair and would sing me to sleep."
"She was strong and stubborn. An inspiration to everybody who met her. Fiercely loyal and gods was she beautiful. The first time I met her I thought she'd knock me on my ass with those arrows of hers." Bull stared off into space, the ghost of a smile painted upon his lips. "She took one look at me and my Chargers and took a chance on us. Completely ignored everybody else who had anything to stay. She was amazing. And I loved her."
"I've never seen another woman who went through every terrifying part of her life with a smile on her face and a dare in her eyes," Dorian said from the same doorway that Bull had occupied moments before. "An idiot, mind you. Always crashing into things head first, like someone I know."
Moirah shot a grin to her father, crooked and bright, just like her mother's.
"And she loved you," Bull replied, voice low and somber. "She loved you more than life itself. She would have done anything to make sure you were safe." He laughed, the sound water logged and short. "Do you remember when she found you and uncle Dorian in the kitchen pantry, sneaking the dessert pastries?"
Dorian's laugh was quick. "My word! I had forgotten all about that. Oh, she was furious. Gave me a tongue lashing for allowing you to spoil your dinner. A ferocious little lamb."
"She came back to our room with you perched on her hip, red hair framing her face like an angry halo, just spitting mad. Ranting about how Dorian should have known better and she just couldn't believe that he'd do something so stupid! I waited until she was done with her ranting and raving. Got her in a chair and she looked at me, eyes watering, and wailed about how she'd been to hard on him because she knew just how convincing you were with those sad eyes."
"I had sad eyes?"
"Had! Do you hear that, Bull? Had! As if she doesn't still use those blasted eyes to get her way."
"He's got a point, you know. You used those damned eyes on me when you asked me to stop sending one of the men to spy on you while you were on a date-"
"He still does that, you know."
"Shut up, mage. Anyways. You used those damned eyes on all of us when you came home after sparring with your Uncle Krem with a damn puppy in your arms, begging to keep her."
"Dad! Briar is a great dog!"
"That's besides the point. The point is you still use those sad eyes to get what you want. Your mother was the same way. She used them on me when she wanted to name you Moirah. We all see how that went."
"Wait! What did you want to name me?"
"Penelope is a perfectly acceptable name."
"Don't listen to your father, dear. Penelope is an atrocious name. Count your blessings your mother and I were around. You could have been a Penelope Rene."
Bull chuckled, slinging his arm across his daughter's shoulders. His heart ached as he remembered as he held her as just a wee, squirmy babe. The late nights spent as he walked her from one side of the room to the other as he bounced her softly in his arms. When he walked into their room to find Harlow as she snuggled Moirah in her arms, both of them fast asleep.
Harlow never got to see her daughter grow up. She missed that first scraped knee. The first boyfriend fiasco in itself – he still couldn't believe that Dorian had successfully lit the poor lad's pants on fire. She would have loved that.
"Your father and I – we love you very much, Moirah," Dorian began as he cupped her face in his palm. "You were, are, and always have been, the light of our lives. Your mother would be proud of the girl that you are today."
"She is proud of you," Bull butted in, voice firm. "No matter where you are in life – your mother, Dorian, and I? We are so proud of you."
"And us!" Krem called from the doorway. "We're much cooler than the old men, anyways. Come out with us, Princess!"
Moirah grinned before she shot from her sheet, footfalls pounded behind Krem's. The men could hear them giggling as they ran out the main hall's doorway. Bull shook his head before he turned to look at Dorian. The mage's eyes scanned the Qunari's face, looking for a hint of anything.
"Today took a lot," Dull said, leaning against the chair. It squealed in protest. "I didn't think it would take as much out of me, you know? But it… It was hard. It felt like she was there, you know?"
"When we left," Dorian replied as he leant forward, resting his elbows upon the table. "I swore I could feel that damn messaging stone warm up in my hand. It hadn't done that in so many years. Probably a trick my mind played upon itself but it felt so real."
Bull nodded, deep in thought, before his gaze pierced into Dorian's. "Do you think we did a good job with her? Moirah, I mean. Do you think we did a good job? Raised her right?"
"I think, my dear friend," Dorian replied with a chuckle, "that if we hadn't done a good job our dear Harlow would have risen from her grave and knocked our heads together." He mock shuddered. "And thank the Maker for that because I have a feeling knocking into those horns could cause some serious damage."