Chapter Fourteen
It took a full day of hiking and camping under the stars before Solas returned to Skyhold with a bag full of the mountain plants he'd been searching for. Upon entering the rotunda to spread his findings across the table, he spotted a note with Evelyn's handwriting. The letter was a simple request asking for his presence in order for her to ask him a favor.
Tucking the letter beneath his tunic, he sat at the table and spent a good hour organizing the plants before setting off to find the Inquisitor.
Ever since his talk with Leliana and her subtle threat about his intentions, he'd kept his distance from Evelyn, though not out of fear of the spymaster. It was more obligation than anything. Finding Evelyn in her dreams and carrying her away from the horrors of her past had melted away at his resolve of not getting closer to her. He could no longer deny his feelings toward her, and it was too late to push them away. Instead, it was all he could do to make sure what happened in the fade remained in the fade. Otherwise, he didn't trust himself one bit to not act on his physical impulse to see if her lips would feel and taste the same way they did in his dreams.
Sighing and wishing the improper thoughts away, he tried searching for her starting from the closest place—the library. When his search there turned up empty, he tried for her temporary quarters. The door was halfway opened and he peaked inside. While he expected to find it empty given that it was noon and she'd likely be roaming the fort, he was pleasantly relieved to find her in bed laying on her belly, her nose in a thick book while her legs swayed absently in the air.
Instead of getting her attention right away, he found himself taking a few moments to watch her as he leaned against the doorframe. The index finger of her right hand followed along the pages as she silently mouthed the words she read. Every so often her eyebrows would twitch in confusion as though pondering something before continuing her read. For the longest time, she seemed to have no idea he was standing there merely watching her.
"Interesting read?" he queried, pushing from the frame.
His voice must have startled her, for she jumped upright and unsuccessfully tried to hide the book by sliding it behind her. Peculiar. "I didn't see you there," she signed, appearing flustered.
Solas quirked an amused brow. "Evidently."
She eyed him for a few confused moments. Then, "Is…there something you need?"
Digging the letter from a hidden pocket, he waved it. "You were the one to request my presence. Do you not recall?"
Her eyes widened a fraction before she stood. "Oh, that." Her hands were a mass of unfocused fidgeting, as though she couldn't quite form proper words. She almost seemed…nervous. It was amazing how a mute could actually ramble. "Feel free to say no," was all he caught.
Solas smiled. "Evelyn, you need only to ask."
Her hands froze, and she glanced away. Then, she sighed. "I was wondering if you could teach me to wield winter magic."
That was…not at all what he'd been expecting.
Magic was divided into many factions, but they all came from one of the four most basic elements. All mages had a natural affinity for a particular element, ofttimes based on their personalities. While some had the ability to use multiple elements, it took years of practice and building skills to do so. He'd long ago sensed Evelyn had the potential to possibly wield all collections like him, but her talents tended to lie within fire and lightning.
What was even more surprising was that there were plenty of other mages in their organization who specialized in winter magic, yet she chose him of all people. The thought pleased him far more than it should have. "I would be happy to share my knowledge with you. However, there is one condition." As expected, she cast him a dubious look, making his smile stretch wider. He nodded toward her bed. "What were you reading?"
Her cheeks exploded with color. In truth, he wouldn't have bothered asking had she not tried to hide it from him. The fact that she did made him curious.
It was clear from the way she shifted her weight from one leg to the other that his teasing question made her uncomfortable. And going by the way she refused to meet his eyes, she was reluctant to answer.
His smile dwindled, and just as he was on the verge of taking the question back, she heaved a deep sigh and waved him over.
It only took a few moments for Solas to glance over the pages, for the book was one he was familiar with. Yet the words were written completely in the language of his people. And she was halfway through. He turned wide eyes to her. "You can understand it?"
She lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. "Some words I cannot translate, but most of it, yes."
Solas' lips parted in shock as he eyed her. "Why… How is it the first time I'm learning of this?"
A nervous snort of laughter sounded from her, but she still wouldn't quite meet his gaze. "You tend to show a bit of disdain when it comes to humans learning anything of elven culture. I didn't want you to think less of me."
Solas' jaw dropped open. For the first time in ages, he was just speechless. Him think less of her? There was no one he thought more highly of. Furthermore… "Evelyn, forgive me if I've ever appeared that way. My disapproval toward any race merely stems from whenever the ancient ways of my people are passed down incorrectly. Even the Dalish fail to capture our history accurately."
At that, she finally peered up at him, still looking a bit uncertain. He picked up the book and glanced it over. It was ancient fictional tale of two siblings who were separated at a young age and years later found each fighting on opposite sides of a war. "You are halfway through it," he murmured, unable to hide his surprise. "How long have you been studying this language?"
She bit the inside of her cheek. "A while. I started picking up on certain phrases from the elves in my Circle, then I began reading texts. After some time, I was able to notice reappearing words and began to translate them." Closing the book, she traced her fingers across the intricate front design before turning back to him. "This one is a bit tricky. A lot of the words are old-fashioned. Some of them I don't think can even be translated to the common tongue, but it's been fun trying to understand them."
Bemused, Solas shook his head, marveling how every time he thought he was beginning to understand her, he'd learn something new. "I'm starting to wonder if there's an end to the surprises revolving around you."
A sly smile curved her lips. "I suppose you will have to stick around to find out."
"Indeed, it would appear so." He waved his hand toward the door. "Come."
Evelyn frowned in confusion. "Where are we going?"
"You want to begin your lessons now, yes?" She nodded. "Then we must set the mood. Being surrounded by the snow will aid you in your training."
…
…
Cullen strolled along the battlements, one of his lieutenants next to him relaying an update on the soldier's training. In truth, he was only half listening. The headache he'd been suffering for days was growing worse, making him feel agitated and restless. He'd thought the air outside would help him calm down a bit, yet there were faint whispers in the back of his mind that made it difficult to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes.
It was growing worrisome, for he knew what it was. The effects of his withdrawal were starting to get to him once again, and if he didn't find some way to gain control of himself, he feared it was only a matter of time before he'd go back to staring at his lyrium kit in longing.
As he walked along, movement in the distance made him slow his steps. He squinted his eyes and was able to make out two figures outside of Skyhold's gates, both standing in the snow facing each other. He was quick to make out Solas' head. The mage held onto his staff while a transparent barrier surrounded his form.
Cullen then noticed that the person with him was Evelyn. She, too, held onto a staff, the crystal at the tip glowing as snow circled around her in a gentle vortex. He hadn't the slightest clue what the two were up to, but as usual, annoyance slid through him at seeing them together.
The vortex around Evelyn grew taller and wider, the snow circling her before shooting toward Solas. With one motion, Solas dispelled the attack and the vortex disappeared. However, Evelyn jumped and punched the air in excitement, and even from the distance, Cullen could see a wide smile on her face as she signed something to Solas. Her shoulders rose and fell rapidly, and white puffs of air expelled from her lips, as though she were panting. Solas approached her and pulled out a piece of cloth from his tunic and used it to wipe her forehead.
The sight made Cullen sick to his stomach. He'd suspected for ages that the two had something going on, and while he'd accepted his jealousy had no reason to exist, his mounting aggravation wouldn't allow it to go away. He sneered in disgust at himself and turned away.
He'd forgotten all about his lieutenant who continued to babble on nonsense. "Just leave the report on my desk," he snapped at the man and stormed away, wanting to be alone.
Maker, he truly needed to get himself under control. He'd thought he was managing himself fine, yet just those few minutes watching Evelyn and Solas together shattered his false sense of security. Why in the Maker's name did he have to hold such strong feelings for her, especially when he'd known all along it was futile? It was pointless. It was just like when he'd been younger, secretly adoring Amell yet never able to act on his feelings.
The thought made him walk faster, very much needing to take his growing aggression out on a sparring dummy. It was either that or continue holding his anger in to the point where he'd wind up lashing out at someone.
…
…
It had been little over a week since Evelyn began noticing that Cullen seemed to be purposely avoiding her. Whenever she'd go to his office to check on him, he'd all but dismiss her by saying he had meetings to attend with his lieutenants. When she'd tried to have a word with him after a brief council meeting, he'd brushed her off and rushed away. In the few times she'd seen him, he'd been in a foul mood. And while he hadn't openly lashed out at her, every time their eyes met his perpetual frown would deepen before he turned away.
It confused her to the point where she'd even gone to Cassandra to ask if she knew what was going on with the commander, yet the other woman had merely shrugged as if she were just as perplexed by his sudden change of behavior. She'd once told Evelyn that Cullen had stopped taking lyrium before joining the Inquisition, and there would be times when he'd be suffering its mental and physical effects.
She assumed whatever he was going through, perhaps if she gave him some space to cool off, he'd come back around. Yet the more days passed on and she saw him from afar talking casually with Dorian or Bull, she began growing increasingly worried that perhaps she'd done or said something to slight him.
On a day where she and Solas had decided to take a break from her training with winter magic, she strolled through the gardens and just so happened to spot the commander in question seated at a chess table across from Dorian. A tiny voice warned that she should turn around and continue to give him his space, that if he wanted to talk to her he could find her on his own. However, it was the bigger, more concerned portion of her heart that led her footsteps toward the two men. She truly wanted to make sure he was okay. And with the march on Adamant set to take place in the next two days, she needed to see for herself that he wasn't tearing himself apart over it.
He said something to Dorian and sat back with a cocky smile, while the altus stared down at the board with parted lips. "Amazing how you could still lose so badly when you cheated the entire time."
Dorian scoffed. "Don't get smug. There will be no living with you." He stood, and when he spotted her approaching, he flashed a friendly smile. "Ah, impeccable timing. Come, have a seat and defend my honor, will you?"
Cullen turned to her and his smile immediately vanished. That simple act not only confirmed her suspicions, but it also made her heart give a painful twinge. "Actually, I've spent enough time dallying. I need to check on—"
"The soldiers will still be there when you finish," Dorian cut in, ushering Evelyn toward the seat he'd previously occupied. "One more game won't hurt. This time against a more capable opponent."
It was clear Cullen was reluctant to stay, but he bit off a sigh and slid back into his chair. "Very well."
As Dorian sauntered off and Cullen prepared the board, Evelyn felt uncomfortable and out of place with how tense the air was around them two. She had no idea what had changed so abruptly. Though she and Cullen had always been quite distant compared to the others she called friends, there'd been plenty of instances where she'd thought things were warming up between the two of them. However, it was painfully clear that perhaps it was all just in her head. The man seated across from her appeared as though he'd rather be anywhere else.
She signed something to him, and when he didn't look up, she whistled to get his attention. His eyes were guarded when they met her gaze. "Is everything alright?"
"Fine," he said simply. He moved a chess piece first.
Evelyn shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Despite being a mute, she was never one for being at a loss for words. Yet as the awkward air became near suffocating, she just didn't know what she could do to get him to open up.
When she reached to move one of her pawns, Cullen heaved a deep sigh and stood. "Forgive me, Inquisitor, but I really do have matters to attend." He stood, and so did Evelyn.
When he turned away, she grabbed him by the elbow, making him tense. "Have I done something wrong?"
Once again, his expression remained guarded as he stared down at her as though she were a stranger. "No, Inquisitor. With the upcoming battle, there is little time to prepare. I only stepped away for a quick game with Dorian to clear my head."
She frowned, because she felt as though he wasn't telling her the truth. At least not the full truth. "Then why are you calling me Inquisitor?"
He glanced around, avoiding her gaze. "I'm not sure what you want me to say."
"I want you to be honest with me." Her hands shook as tension mounted, further stretching the distance between him. Something was definitely off, and it was killing her to think he was being cold to her for something she'd done wrong. Had it been one of the choices she'd made in the war room? Like Leliana and Josephine, he'd disapproved of her decisions a few times, but never before had it created some sort of rift between the friendships she had with them. "I've been wanting a chance to talk to you, but it seems as though you are avoiding me."
"I am your military advisor. We talk often enough, Inquisitor."
She frowned and took a step back. He was being intentionally cold to her, just as he had been shortly before Corypheus' attack on Haven. She didn't like it one bit. "You know that's not what I mean."
He faced her completely, yet the distant look in his eyes didn't fade in the slightest. "If I could be so bold, would you not prefer Solas' company?"
Evelyn rear back in shock. "What does Solas have to do with anything?"
"I was under the impression you two were courting. Though your personal affairs are none of my concern, I am not one for getting caught in the middle of a lovers' tryst. I'd prefer not to be the cause of muddled rumors."
Never before had Evelyn felt so confused in her life. "You think Solas and I are together?"
His lips curled downward. "Aren't you?"
Shifting to the side, she failed to hide her blush. "No."
A long silence fell between them, one where she could feel his gaze boring into her. "And yet you have feelings for him." It wasn't a question, but Evelyn refused to confirm or deny the accusation. Not when her tangled feelings for both him and Solas were so warped that even she didn't know where she stood.
A muscle ticked in Cullen's jaw as he jerked his gaze away, as though her silence confirmed his words. Instead of uttering another word, he merely shook his head and walked away.
All Evelyn could do was watch him go. What could she even say to him? 'Yes I care for Solas, but I also care for you.' It sounded stupid even to her own ears.
Furthermore, why did it even matter if she did or didn't like Solas in that way? Why did he care? Was it possible he was jealous? If so, did that mean perhaps she'd been wrong all this time in her assumption that he didn't think of her the way she thought of him?
Or could it simply be that he truly was a man of honor and didn't want to stand in another man's way?
It was all so confusing. Her experience with matters of the heart was pitifully lacking. She had an eye for noticing when others were in her shoes. For instance, she'd been the first to notice that Cassandra had sent so many lingering glances at Fairbanks when they'd explored the Emerald Graves, and vice versa. She'd been the first to notice when Bull and Dorian's constant bickering began to sound more like a couple's dispute rather than that of two people who despised one another. She'd even been the first to notice when Blackwall would always sit up a bit straighter or find some way to flex his machoism every time Josephine just happened to be passing by.
And yet, she had no idea if the two men she constantly pined for had any shred of an interest in her.
It was pathetic. It was stupid. Above all, it was downright annoying that she'd just made an absolute arse of herself in front of one of those very men. And she couldn't even take it back.
Wanting very badly to take her mind off the thick tangle of her feelings, she turned in the opposite direction and made all of three steps before a scout came running toward her. Huffing in exertion, the recruit wheezed, "Inquisitor! I've been looking everywhere for you. Sister Leliana has called for you in the war room."
Evelyn frowned. "Can it wait?" she wrote out on her notepad. She didn't think she'd make very good company at that moment.
The scout couldn't contain her excitement as she practically bounced on the balls of her feet. "She says it's a surprise for you. Come, she's waiting!"
Reluctantly, Evelyn hid a sigh and followed the woman's fast-paced steps.
A few minutes later, Evelyn frowned around the grand hall to see that for once, it wasn't crowded with nobles or any of its usual occupants. Instead, two soldiers stood outside the door leading to Josephine's office while the rest of the hall was eerily deserted. That was never a good sign.
The scout stopped before the doors and gave a deep bow before running toward the rotunda. Frowning after her, Evelyn nodded at the two guards and continued forward. She had no idea what to expect from Leliana's 'surprise', or why it required the entire throne room to be emptied. It was odd, and as she strolled through the office with leaden steps, she wracked her mind trying to find any and every possibility for what waited for her in the war room.
While Leliana had become a close part of her inner circle over the months, they weren't exactly on a buddy-buddy level. Not like how Evelyn was toward Dorian or Cassandra. Instead, their friendship was more of a mutual support system. Their conversations tended to lay within political topics, with the occasional storytelling on Leliana's end.
Shaking her head once more, she decided the only way to find out was to just walk through the tall doors at the end of the hall. Sighing, she pushed through.
Two women waited for her inside, Leliana and another. They faced each other, both smiling as they conversed. At Evelyn's entrance, they froze and eyed her.
The other woman was as tall as Leliana with shoulder-length hair a dark shade of red like a single drop of blood. Her face held the sort of youthful glow that made it impossible to guess her age. She was dressed in warden-commander attire with a staff strapped to her back.
When warm eyes like the clearest blue sky met Evelyn's, they widened a fraction in disbelief.
Leliana waved her hand. "Yelena, I'd like you to meet—"
"Evie?"
Without warning, a single fat tear slid from Evelyn's eye as she recognized that voice. Though she hadn't heard it over a decade, it hadn't changed one bit.
Something between a sob and a gasp expelled from Yelena as she pulled Evelyn in for a bone-crushing hug. Evelyn didn't mind as she dropped her head on the woman's shoulder, unable to stop the flow of tears. She cried into her old friend, memories from ages ago swarming through her brain. Yelena rubbed Evelyn's hair, just like the old days. Back when she'd been terrified and sad over leaving her family's home.
Years of mounting sorrow and grief and anger and pain poured from Evelyn as she hugged her first friend in the tightest embrace.
…
…
Leliana had no talent for seeing into the future, but deep in her gut, this was the exact scenario she'd envisioned upon arranging this meeting. It was the final bit of proof she'd been able to gather that Evelyn had indeed attended Kinloch Hold, and her scars were the physical evidence of what she'd had to go through.
More than anything, it confirmed that despite being the Inquisitor, Evelyn's being alive was a crime against Thedas, punishable by death.
When Evelyn calmed down in her quiet sobbing, Yelena pulled back to frame her face. "Evelyn, you're so grown up now. I can't believe it's really you. Where have you been?"
When Evelyn didn't respond, Yelena frowned. "What's the matter, Evie?"
"She's mute," Leliana answered in response, her voice small. "She can only speak through Nortualism."
Yelena's face fell at that. "Oh, my poor girl. Come here." She hugged Evelyn once more.
Forcing a tight smile, Leliana cleared her throat. "I will give the two of you some time alone." She nodded to Yelena and left the room. The moment the door shut behind her, her smile disappeared as she bit the inside of her cheek.
Dread settled like a heavy weight of coal in her gut. Evelyn surviving through the fall of Ferelden's Circle tower was a whirlwind disaster just waiting to happen. Though the Writ of the Divine granted permission for them to act in a time of chaos, there were very few laws that could overwrite Inquisition control. For someone who was supposed to have been executed during a Right of Annulment, their survival was considered a crime against one of those very laws.
Storming through Josephine's office, she found the Antivan woman alone at her desk. She jumped at Leliana's sudden arrival, placing a dainty hand over her heart. "Maker's word, Leliana. Why did you—"
"We have a problem," she cut in, no longer able to keep quiet about the impending threat to their Inquisitor. And their organization.