The look Bella gave him when he walked into the examination room was—annoyed, yes, she looked extremely annoyed. She also looked much the same as she had the day before, still no visible injuries, no sign that anything was wrong just—that smell.

Except, for all that Carlisle trusted his nose, she looked—so ordinary. It wasn't like looking at a vampire, where even as a human who didn't believe in demons, you knew you weren't staring at someone like you.

Her skin was made of flesh and blood, her eyes an ordinary brown, her heartbeat had a strong and steady rhythm. Everything about her screamed ordinary, teenage, girl.

Except her smell.

And the odd series of events that had taken place over the past day.

So, the question was, was Carlisle going to trust his nose and intuition or was he going to rely on experience to guide him?

"Bella," he greeted with a smile.

Her annoyed look didn't falter.

Carlisle forced himself to continue, "I assume your father told you why you had to come in?"

She let out a long, annoyed, sigh, "Yep, seems you have to do the tests again. You know I have a thing about needles, and blood, not good with blood either."

"I'm terribly sorry," Carlisle said as he sat across from her, "But it can't be helped."

An eyebrow raised, "Can't it?"

He paused.

She was considering him carefully, a shrewd look in her eyes, and—an implicit threat. She didn't look away from him, not in the way humans always did when they met the eyes of a vampire. Instead, he found himself fighting the urge to look away first.

He then realized that both of them had been silent for far too long.

That if Carlisle were an ordinary, unwitting, human doctor he would have said something by now. If Bella were an ordinary, teenage girl she would have said something else, anything at all.

Humans did not sit and stare at one another, perfectly silent, for over a minute.

He cleared his throat meaningfully, "Ah, I'm afraid—I don't quite follow."

"I'm fine," Bella said, then to demonstrate this, before he could protest, she jumped to her feet and then into a handstand, "See, everything's in tip top shape."

"Please don't do that," he said in horror, forgetting her scent for a moment as well as the high probability that she lit his house on fire, "You could still be very injured—"

Bella paid no mind, instead she proceeded to do a short series of flips from one end of the exam room to the other, where she landed on her feet in a routine an Olympic gymnast would be envious of.

"Very impressive," Carlisle said, "But—"

"Look, I promise, I feel great," Bella said, "And if I don't then I'll come back in, Scout's Honor."

"Are you a Boy Scout?" Carlisle asked, unable to help the dubiousness of his tone.

"Well, no, but it felt like the right thing to say," Bella said, "What I mean is that I'm alright, and if I'm not then it's not your fault. Everyone will know that you pressed for those tests and I'm the one who said no."

"That is—" Carlisle cut himself off, "That is an awful way of looking at this situation."

Bella just stared at him, as if not quite sure what it was that he meant and—he wondered, for a hysterical moment, if she had any idea what he meant. He suddenly found himself wondering if Bella had understood any of what was happening at all, if she wasn't just—mimicking humanity in the same way he was.

And that they were both here, in fake mustaches, pretending to be human with one another.

"Ah, Bella," Carlisle would say, making sure to sound very impressive and most definitely human, "I see you look very human today. I look very human as well. I do human things like eat food and sleep at night."

And she would chortle and say, "Oh just so, Carlisle, for you see I am most definitely human as well."

He put his head in his hands and—

Maybe he was paranoid.

Sitting here he felt utterly ridiculous, feeling so on edge of a teenage girl, even if she was doing handstands in his office. He'd talked to Aro about—others. He'd claimed they used to exist in the ancient world, but that they'd all been wiped out so that only the vampires remained.

Of course, there'd been Ephraim, and Aro certainly hadn't known about him, but that just made it more ridiculous.

What was the likelihood that Carlisle would stumble across another not-quite-human, undercover in human society, in a town so close to the Quileute tribe? And that she'd be this good at fitting in with—with a human father and a human mother who could and did vouch for her?

Bella Swan hadn't come from thin air, she had a whole history, and one that Charlie Swan had never hinted at being aware of. If his family was filled with—people not quite humans, then Edward would have noted it in his thoughts after two years.

And the probability of any of this—if Forks Washington was Sunnydale, then Aro would certainly have found out by now and Carlisle certainly would have run into him.

Damn it all.

"I have—reason to believe that you are not alright," Carlisle confessed, "That something may, in fact, be subtly but terribly wrong. I realize that sounds—ridiculous, but Bella, trust that I have your best interests at heart. I want to help."

He brought his hands together, as if in prayer, "Please, Bella, let me run those labs."

She didn't seem impressed.

She sat herself back on the exam table, crossing her legs beneath her, and observed him.

Then she asked, "What if it was the other way around?"

"I'm sorry?" Carlisle asked.

"What if you found yourself not hit by a van, brought in by well-meaning and concerned people, and you found yourself in a hospital where the doctor insists on running tests? Not because he's stubborn or anything but—because he wants to do his job and help people. What would you do?"

"Me?" Carlisle asked, "Well, I'd do the tests."

"Would you?" she asked, eyebrow raised. She pointedly looked into his golden eyes as she said it.

His very inhuman, golden, eyes.

"Well—" Carlisle admitted after a pause, "We're not here to talk about me."

"Maybe the doctor should admit it's not his fault," Bella said instead, "Maybe the doctor can just—let this one go."

"Let it go?" Carlisle asked.

"It's not hard," she continued, now beaming at him, her face lit up with her enthusiasm, "I'll cover with Charlie, tell him that I got the results, they were just misplaced, and everything's fine."

Well.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He looked at her with narrowed eyes and—

She wasn't being subtle, was she?

True, he could interpret her words as being—what, what could he even tell himself this conversation was about? She clearly knew he wasn't human, not even suspected, but knew. He had no doubt of that. And she'd been—no ordinary human girl would have this conversation with him.

It only made sense if she—wasn't what she looked like.

Any more than Carlisle himself was.

"And if I don't run these tests," Carlisle said slowly, "Then—I imagine my house stays standing, my car continues running, and nothing unpleasant happens."

She finally looked away from him, up towards the ceiling, flushing, her voice squeaked as she said, "I mean—probably, I don't know why those things would happen."

That was the worst lie he'd ever heard.

"I can't say I have any idea why those things would happen either," he said, unable to help himself.

She still didn't look back at him, her face now violently red.

"If I don't run these exams," he continued, "Then—do we live and let live?"

She looked back over to him, and this time—the assessing look was back. She looked him over, eyes lingering on his, and asked, "I don't know, do we?"

"I intend to," he said.

She frowned and—he could tell she didn't believe him. It was written all over her face, wariness, hesitation, and a growing resolve.

Then, she said, "You're a good liar."

"I'm sorry?" Carlisle asked.

He imagined most people would feel affronted by that, extremely insulted, but Carlisle only felt surprise. He was a good liar, a frequent liar, it came with the territory of doing what he did but–no one had ever called him out on it.

"I'm an awful liar," Bella said, motioning to herself, "Terrible at it, always have been. Which, as you can imagine, for someone in my position—never mind."

She then pointed at him in accusation, "You, though—look at you! You're a doctor with five kids and no one blinks an eye. Charlie even believes you, Charlie, and he's the chief of police."

"Well," Carlisle said awkwardly, "I am a doctor with five children."

He might not be as old as he was pretending to be, but he very much was a doctor with children, that part at least wasn't a lie.

She didn't seem impressed by this, instead she said, "And just now, the way you talk—you're very good at it. And you don't look like you even were—"

"Were?" Carlisle prompted warily, but she didn't finish.

Instead, she said, "What I'm getting at is—it's a big universe out there."

"What?" Carlisle asked, feeling his brow furrow.

"Dangerous place, cruel, not very empathetic. You don't last long if you don't have some measure of self-preservation. So, sorry, but—I think the appointment's over now. Goodbye, Dr. Cullen."

With that she walked out of the room, leaving Carlisle sitting there, having not rerun any of the tests.

Well, at least he was—

Mostly sure she wasn't human.

Probably.

Maybe.

Carlisle exited the hospital after the sun had set. It wasn't a sunny day, so there was no need, but somehow, he just hadn't been able to face the outside world. And it meant that when he got home Edward and Alice would have returned from sneaking around town, the rest from school, and Esme would have made progress on the house.

Of course, that meant Rosalie would discover the car in the garage and give him hell for it but—

That was a crisis that he supposed he could handle.

Unfortunately, he didn't even have the chance to make it to the BMW.

He found himself tackled to the ground, thrown several feet out of the parking lot entirely and onto the woods just outside the hospital building. Before he could move upwards, he found himself thrown again, further into the woods and into the trunk of a tree.

He—He felt the wind knocked out of him.

He sat there in a daze for a millisecond then, on instinct, managed to roll out of the way of something hard and fast. He scrambled to his feet and took off running.

Of course, he thought to himself even as he ran, this was an utterly pointless action. Whatever was coming for him was clearly faster and stronger than he was, Carlisle's diet working against him.

Running only slightly delayed the—

And there was the next throw, Carlisle was slammed down into the ground, his legs swept up from under him, and desperately turned to face his attacker. He heard the sound of his shirt ripping as something squeezed around his throat.

He managed to knock whatever it was on top of him aside and into yet another tree. The tree shook violently, barely supporting the weight, and Carlisle got to his feet, moving into a fighting stance.

Only to stop as he realized just who his opponent was.

"Oh," Carlisle said, "Oh, come on—"

Bella Swan got to her feet across from him, her own clothing ragged and torn thanks to Carlisle's actions, and she too moved into a fighting stance that looked like it had been copied from cheap Kung-Fu movies.

"Bella!" Carlisle said.

She didn't respond, instead she vaulted across the clearing, faster than any human eye could catch, and threw them both further into the woods.

And then it was all scrabbling, scrambling, and hissing again as Carlisle desperately tried to knock Bella off him and she kept punching his face, trying to break his nose. Which, of course, she failed to do.

At some point, they rolled off a cliff, Carlisle having only a second to contemplate this before he and Bella dropped into a river. Then, of course, they were back at it again as she tried to drown him and—

And he wondered if he shouldn't just play dead.

Maybe he could sink to the bottom of the river, lie there for a little while, and she'd leave and go home. Then he could go and—well, pretend he was dead, he'd have to leave town but at least all of this would stop.

Then he realized that if she didn't take the bait—then she'd take that moment to kill him.

Even though she'd had the chance to kill him several times already and had so far done nothing.

Oh, she kept punching him, and his clothes were now completely ruined, but she was clearly winning the fight but failing to actually do anything about it.

Carlisle suddenly realized—this wasn't going to stop.

He popped his head above the water, taking in a deep breath just in time to yell, "Truce!"

She stopped for a moment, treading water with him in the rapids.

"Truce!" Carlisle repeated, gasping for air, "I call a truce!"

There was a pause, then, "What do you mean a truce?"

"You can't kill me," he said, motioning towards her, "And I—don't want to kill you."

He also wasn't sure he could, but that was beside the point.

"We're getting nowhere and—if we keep going, I'm going to see things I really don't think I should be seeing," Carlisle, here, motioned to what remained of her now see-through clothing.

She looked down, first in confusion, then in utter terror and embarrassment, "Holy shit!"

She flailed helplessly, looking around them, "Um, don't look!"

She started moving quickly towards shore, stopping every few strokes to glare back at him and make sure he wasn't looking.

When she made it to shore, she relocated behind a boulder, hiding so that Carlisle couldn't see a single hair on her head.

"What do you mean a truce?" Bella asked from behind the rock.

This was—

This had to be the most absurd day of Carlisle's life.

No, no, he—he just had to go with it. He was just going to go along with it and then the day would be over and—something would happen.

"I mean—" he stopped, gave himself a moment to think as he treaded water, "I mean I think we should go home, get changed and—meet in a half hour, go somewhere outside of town. We'll talk."

There was a very long pause.

"About what?"

About what? Was she serious?

He took a deep breath.

"Well, clearly neither of us is human, we both have—some very large misconceptions about the other, and I don't think we have to fight to the death over it."

There was another, long pause.

"And we're not getting anywhere with this, and I'm tired of having my things lit on fire and being—thrown into rivers," Carlisle added, "So, we should talk instead. Does that sound at all reasonable?"

There was a pause, long enough that Carlisle wondered if she'd disappeared, somehow vacated without him noticing. Of course, her scent was still there, dampened as it was by the river but—

"Fine," she said, "But we go eat somewhere. And you pay."

"Yes, fine, fine, I can do that," Carlisle assured her, then after a pause, "A half hour from now?"

"Sure," she said, sounding as if she was trying very hard to be casual, then, "Um, can you go first?"

Oh, right, yes, the clothes.

… Thankfully, his pants were still intact.

Though he hoped they weren't too revealing when soaked.

He supposed it was better him than her.

He exited the river and sprinted home.

Getting in and out of the house fast enough that Rosalie hadn't had a chance to scream at him over the Mercedes, Edward hadn't had a chance to question him, and no one had had a chance to ask where he was even going at this hour was—

It was a feat, that was all he'd say, and that he'd probably run faster than he ever had in his life.

But he'd done it.

He was now fully clothed sitting in a restaurant in Port Angeles, far away from Forks, across from Bella Swan.

Who, while she had also changed back into clothes (a flannel shirt and set of jeans), was busy consuming everything on the menu.

Well, not everything.

She had ordered only the items with red meat, all rare, and she'd ordered five rounds of each dish. Their table groaned under the weight of it and the waiter—had certainly been giving them looks.

Carlisle wasn't sure that his order of absolutely nothing, a glass of water he had yet to touch, helped any.

Bella was eating like she hadn't seen food in a week.

He suddenly understood why she'd insisted he pay.

He opened his mouth to start but she shot him a look, shaking her head, making it clear that the food came first.

He closed his mouth and waited, trying to be patient.

Inside his jacket pocket, his phone buzzed for the umpteenth time since he'd escaped the house. Edward, Alice, and Rosalie had been texting him nonstop since his escape. His hasty, "I'll explain later!" had not impressed any of them.

He debated turning off his phone.

Didn't seem like a good idea, it'd only inspire more questions, if not a tracking attempt.

As it was, Carlisle was mildly surprised Jasper wasn't walking through the door, dully asking what the hell Carlisle thought he was doing. And perhaps being even more disturbed when, what it looked like what Carlisle was doing was taking seventeen-year-old Bella Swan on a date.

After having engaged in mud wrestling with her.

Maybe, whenever he summarized what he found out to his family, he'd leave that part out.

Finally, Bella consumed the last of her steak.

He let out a long sigh, closing his eyes, "So."

"So," Bella echoed.

They stared at one another.

"You should go first," Bella finally said.

He gave her a look.

"You were here first," Bella said, "So you should go first, it's only fair."

"I was here first?" Carlisle asked, "Bella, I drove you to this restaurant—

"I meant in Forks," Bella said, as if this were obvious, "I just got in last week."

That was technically true, but he didn't see how that had anything to do with deciding who had to talk first.

But he supposed one of them did and it apparently wasn't going to be her.

He sighed, open his mouth and—

No words came out.

Instinct, honed after hundreds of years, stopped a single syllable from escaping him. The Volturi law was engraved in his mind, such that the very idea of just casually saying it in a restaurant, even so quiet that humans couldn't hear, to a girl that looked human—

Oh, he'd explained vampirism before. He'd explained it many times before. To Siobhan and of course Edward, Esme, and everyone he had personally turned. It was an explanation he felt he'd perfected, he had it down to a science after giving it so many times. So, that wasn't the trouble, it was just that he'd never said it to a human.

And the idea of doing it, his mind just said "no" and refused to let him say anything.

So, instead, the words came out in a forced, barely audible, rush, "I'm a vampire."

She stared at him.

Blinked.

Then said, "No you're not."

"Yes," he said, "I—actually am. I mean, not like the ones in Dracula, but I am a vampire. I—drink animal blood and am not human. I'm a doctor because—Well, I like being a doctor, I like people, I want to help them. That's really all there is to it."

He hastily continued, "And, whatever you are, I don't want to hurt you either. I assume that's what everything has been about. And—you're right in that many of my kind act first and think later, but my family won't hurt you. In fact, I'd—love to get to know you."

Then, feeling very put on the spot, remembering he was sitting in a restaurant with this girl, he added, "Platonically"

She looked at him for a long moment, then shrugged, "We never guessed vampire. We thought different star system, maybe, or something indigenous that'd escaped our notice. But vampire? If you say so."

"We?" he asked warily.

She nodded, motioning to herself casually, "We, Bella Swan and her guest."

"What?" he asked.

"I'm guessing you don't have one," she said, looking at him curiously, almost in amazement, "We were wrong about that too. You looked so—almost human, smelled wrong of course, and the skin was out of this world. Still very human though. We thought for sure someone was taking Carlisle Cullen for a joy ride. Then of course, he'd infiltrated a hospital, his children a school, and wanted to run labs and hoo-boy."

"Weird," she said as she stuffed a piece of bread into her mouth.

"What?" he repeated dumbly.

"I'm Bella Swan," she said between bites, "Well, Bella Swan plus one, or—sort of Bella Swan, it's sort of started blurring together after all these years. We wonder if we should be concerned about that but—eh—We guess it doesn't matter."

She then pointed to the bread, "You going to eat any of that?"

He shook his head mutely.

She stuffed the entire, remaining, loaf into her mouth.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, what do you mean you're a vampire?" she asked, motioning towards him.

"I mean that I'm a vampire," he hissed quietly.

"Same here," Bella said, motioning towards herself.

"You're a vampire?!" he asked.

"No, I mean, I'm Bella plus one," she said, "Same way you're a vampire. That's it."

That—

That was not just it.

There was no just it!

"Bella, I—my species has been around a very long time and—I have never heard of anything like you."

"Of course you haven't," Bella said, as if that were all perfectly reasonable.

"What do you mean of course I haven't?" Carlisle asked.

"Big universe out there," Bella said, as if that explained anything.

"What do you—"

"You ever heard of the Fermi Paradox?" Bella asked instead.

Carlisle had, in fact, heard of the Fermi Paradox.

However, Bella seemed intent on explaining it to him, "The universe is a big place. Chances are, somewhere out there, is a planet in a habitable zone, with all the right conditions, and all the right luck to produce not only life but sentient life."

"Yes, the question then being where is everyone," Carlisle said.

She nodded, "Trouble is, the universe is so big, and life is so new, that we can't send signals far enough, fast enough, for anyone to ever be able to pick it up. And if they do, by the time they send anything back, life will have probably wiped itself out."

She took a breath, "So, big universe. And when you're hurtling through the cosmos without any real destination—chances are you're not all going to land in the same place. Though, sometimes you do land on a planet with life, and red meat, and that's just fascinating."

Carlisle stared for a moment and tried to process any of that. Finally, after a second, he asked, "Are you telling me—you're an alien?"

"No," she said, "I'm Bella plus one."

"And the plus one is an alien," he said.

She considered that and gave a half nod, "I mean—I thought it was a fish, at first. See, Renee picked it up at some Chinese pet shop one time. Had no idea what it was, thought it was a sort of betta fish, and got it for me as a birthday present. Well—it wasn't a betta fish."

"Are you—" he held up a hand to stop her, "You're telling me that you—that Bella Swan—was possessed by an alien?"

"No," Bella said, blinking owlishly, "It's more—have you ever seen Dragon Ball Z?"

Carlisle, sadly, had seen bits and pieces of Dragon Ball Z.

He didn't say as much though.

"So there's this thing called the fusion dance," Bella explained, moving her arms in a gesture that Carlisle guessed meant 'fusion dance', "And it's not so much that one takes over but that you—fuse into an ultimate being."

"Have you fused into an ultimate being?" he asked, his voice reaching pitches it was not meant to reach.

"Probably not," Bella said with a shrug, "But we have fused into a being—and we're much more athletic than I ever was. You should see my old dance videos, they are pathetic. We do eat through an ungodly amount of meat though—We once at all the neighbors' cats, we're not proud of that."

"This is fascinating," she said in the silence, "We've never told anyone. Figured we'd end up in a government lab somewhere if we ever did. And, of course, we didn't think there were any others, I'd never heard of any of that after all. We even went to Roswell, you know."

"Did you?" Carlisle asked.

"Very disappointing," Bella said, "Not even a hint of anything there. We had planned to go to the Bermuda Triangle at some point but—Forks Washington, who knew?"

"Who knew," Carlisle agreed dully.

He—wasn't sure how he should feel about this.

Bella, at least, looked like she was having a grand time.

Well, he supposed there was one thing he could ask, "Bella—plus one—how long have you been like this?"

"Since I was eight," Bella said, as if having been this, whatever this was, for nine years was no skin off her nose. He—he couldn't even begin to imagine.

"And you've just—been pretending to be Bella Swan while eating cats on the sly?" he asked.

"Well, we are Bella Swan, or the closest thing to her and—it's not like anyone minds, right?" she asked, then motioned to herself, looking flustered, "And—well, maybe Phil was a problem, and we were a bit of a third wheel with his and Renee's marriage but we got out of the way and came here. And it's only a few years and then we'll go to college somewhere, so it's not really—"

"No, no, I'm not blaming you, I just—" he paused, then shaking his head and looking at her, "Bella, what do you intend to do with your life?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean—do you—do you age, for one?"

She opened her mouth, closed it, and appeared to think deeply on the matter. Finally, slowly, she said, "We thought it best to reach sexual maturity at the very least, we have no plans to reproduce and marriage is a load of garbage, but we thought it best to prepare. And mature adults can hold positions in society that eight-year-olds can't. But—once we reach a certain point we do plan to stop the cells from dying all the time. Which as we understand will halt the aging process."

Oh dear lord.

Then she looked at him, "Do you age? You don't do you, that's why you're so young looking. We'd wondered about that."

And Carlisle—

He supposed he could let Bella (plus one) go on her merry way but—

He knew that life. She might not know it yet, but she would face eternity alone, without a friend or confidante, in a world where—where she had confessed to being a terrible liar who ate the neighbors' cats.

Surely, no one would notice their cats disappearing.

And while she wasn't a vampire that wouldn't necessarily stop Aro. He, after all, had famously justified the genocide of the children of the moon on the grounds that they could not follow Volturi law. Bella would be held to the same law as everyone else.

She had to keep the secret, and if she continued to live as Bella Swan—

But how was he even supposed to suggest—

What was he going to suggest?

Join my family of vampires? I promise, we don't bite?

Bella, how do you feel about leaving all human connections you have behind in, say, one or two years, or even right now, and living with a bunch of recovering crystal cannibals?

And his family—what would they think?

But, he couldn't leave her alone. Not just because she seemed so clueless but because—because he was curious, and more than curious, he found himself genuinely wanting to become her friend.

It'd been ages since any of his friends had visited, and for all that he loved his family they were family, not friends.

He'd take it slow.

Yes.

He'd treat it like boiling a frog, slowly turning the heat up without the frog noticing. He'd introduce Bella to the family, tell them—something, he'd make it sound good. She'd slowly become a friend and by the time it came for her to go to college, for them to move, he'd suggest that she travel with them and become a sixth Cullen child.

She could pretend to be Edward's twin sister.

Though, before then, he supposed there was something he should clear up.

"I take it that we're no longer killing one another then?" Carlisle asked.

"What?" Bella asked, "Oh, no, if you're not an invasive species infiltrating the planet's dominant species and running blood work we don't care. Eat all the virgins you like, just don't try to dissect us or murder us and throw our body in a dumpster."

"I—No," Carlisle said, "No, I promise that I would never, ever, do that."

"We know," Bella said, "Seems like you're not the type. Even if you are a good liar."

He decided to pivot to a different topic, this was just terrible.

"How would you feel about meeting my family?" he asked.

"Will there be food?" she asked immediately. She—did not seem to realize how out of place that question was. Carlisle wondered, in horror, if she was this bad with normal people or if she'd just let herself go now that she knew he knew.

He really hoped she wasn't this bad at school.

"Yes, Bella, there can be food."

"Will there be meat?" she pressed, almost wary, as if his promise of food was a cheap ploy and he'd withhold the good stuff.

Forcing himself to feel calmer, and more in control, than he was, Carlisle promised, "There can be meat."

Author's Note: Thanks to Vinelle for betaing the chapter. Thanks to readers and reviewers, reviews are much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight