By the time Carlisle was driving home—

He could barely contain his excitement. He felt as if the past two days hadn't been two days but instead two years, perhaps even two decades. What had started out as one of the most frustrating (and perhaps terrifying) days of his life had turned on its head completely. It was—well, it wasn't the most exciting thing to have ever happened to him (his life was decidedly surreal), but it had to be in the top ten.

For the second time, beyond Ephraim, Carlisle Cullen had now made the acquaintance of a being that Aro had no idea existed.

And where Ephraim had been very human aside from his ability to turn into a wolf, with a human tribe, human family, and human woes, Bella was—

Well, he supposed she was still human in many senses. She'd certainly kept Bella Swan's body and life for herself—themselves—was Carlisle supposed to address her with the royal we? She hadn't used it consistently, well, no she had. Every time she referred to Bella Swan alone, in the time before—it, it'd been 'I', everything else though.

Hm.

He supposed he could always ask. And of course, when they switched languages from English, the difference between the singular and plural 'you' would have to come into play which really made asking a necessity.

It felt absurd but he didn't want to be rude.

Regardless, half of Bella Swan came from somewhere a little more exotic than the Pacific Northwest, and Aro had certainly never spoken of extraterrestrial beings in the 17th century. He wondered where, exactly, it had come from, how it had survived the vacuum of space, what its planet was like if it had a planet at all, how it had survived earth's atmosphere and microorganisms, and—had it really looked like a betta fish?

He had so many questions but asking them in a restaurant, when he and Bella had only just fought to the death, felt not only rude but like he was getting ahead of himself.

Because he was taking this slow.

The last thing he wanted was to scare her off or come on too strong and—

And his family was going to have to be eased into this.

They'd never been all that fond of the Quileute tribe. Oh, Carlisle understood, while they had made a treaty it'd been one of barely contained hostilities. It wasn't a treaty of mutual defense or anything founded on an inkling of trust but "the moment you step out of line we come for you". Even decades later, even with their warriors seemingly gone, Billy Black had made it very clear that the Cullens were held to the treaty.

And that, if necessary, a tribe of humans would come to massacre them only to die in battle.

Carlisle had understood, he knew firsthand the terror of a vampire plaguing your community (and they'd only had misguided human priests to defend themselves), and his family did as well but—

It irritated the others.

It put Jasper on edge, the idea of having enemies, humans with too much knowledge, so close. Edward, too, was never quite comfortable with how far the reservation was from Forks and that their thoughts were outside his hearing range.

And Ephraim had been—well, Carlisle had counted him as a friend and he believed their relationship had been as good as it could get with everything standing between them, but at the very least he had never engaged in hostilities.

Bella Swan had just spent the past two days trying and failing to murder him.

Edward had been enraged that someone had dared to set fire to their house, before he had even decided if anyone had meant to do them any harm beyond property damage…

Carlisle felt his good cheer drip away.

He slowed the car down to a crawl, prolonging the time he had to think, before he'd be in Edward's vicinity and an explanation would be due.

What was he going to tell them?

It'd be too much for it all to be a coincidence, wouldn't it? Once Carlisle had started thinking about it, it'd taken him two seconds to put it together.

Never mind that Bella didn't appear to have the teeth required to do the job, she had very clearly been stronger and faster than him. That she had also, not so long ago, been hostile—none of his family would like it.

But if he didn't confess to it right away, if he waited months or years down the line then—they wouldn't like that either.

And—Carlisle couldn't help but wonder if some of them might take matters into their own hands. Jasper, certainly, did not believe in living and letting live.

So, then, it'd have to remain a secret.

He—

He didn't like that. He already had so many—well, not secrets per se, but there was already too much he had to keep from his family. Nothing awful though, certainly nothing so awful as hiding the identity of a girl who truly had, not so long ago, wished them harm.

He supposed he could confide in all but Jasper but—no, he wouldn't single Jasper out like that. And—Emmett would do something terribly stupid, if he knew, Carlisle could just see him challenging Bella to defend the family honor or something.

If he kept it from one, he was keeping it from all.

And if all went well then—then it wouldn't be much of a secret. Just something the family didn't need to know.

But of course, then there was the issue of what the likelihood was that someone else stronger and faster than a human being with a vendetta against Carlisle would appear out of the woodworks at the same time as Bella Swan.

Not that any of them had concluded that their arsonist friend was neither human nor vampire yet.

The scent, of course, should have been a clue but the Axe had masked Bella's bizarre scent fairly well and by throwing the steel pipe she'd prevented any lingering scent. And—just as he'd dismissed a teenage girl he could only imagine that his family would be even more eager to do so.

Perhaps it was something with going to high school every day but none of the children seemed to take their peers in any way seriously.

Which meant—well, Alice and Edward would no doubt still investigate, but Bella seemed to block both their abilities somehow. They wouldn't find anything and eventually they'd let it go, and perhaps by the time it was time to leave town, they'd give up and Bella would be ready to go with them.

Yes, that could work.

It'd have to work because he didn't have any other ideas.

So, leave the arson a mystery and—he just happened to stumble across Bella? Well, there was her scent, and she had been carted into the hospital, technically he had just stumbled across her. He could tell them that she'd confessed and shown him irrefutable proof. Which, technically, she had.

Yes, that could work.

And with that, he passed the speed limit sign that denoted the edge of Edward's range when it came to the family. Carlisle took a breath, increased his speed, and tried not to smile too brightly as he drove the last few miles home.

Somehow, this was all going to work out.

"You did what?" Rosalie asked after a beat.

Edward, Esme, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett were each staring at him in an equal amount of baffled concern from their seats in the living room. Rosalie had simply been the first to find her voice.

Carlisle's smile fell, "I—met an alien. Sorry about the car, that was completely unrelated."

"What?" Rosalie asked, then rubbed at her temples, "No, Carlisle, I—how did you impale yourself on a pipe? How?"

"It was thrown through my windshield," Carlisle explained.

"Thrown through your windshield?!" Rosalie asked, "How—how would someone even manage that?"

"Vampires could do it," Jasper said dully, looking decidedly unamused, but Rosalie just glared at him.

"Why would a vampire throw a pipe through his windshield? I mean, even if it was the dumbest vampire on the planet—it would tear him out of the car. Why waste time throwing steel pipes through windshields?"

Rosalie then spared him a disbelieving look and sighed, "Carlisle, be honest with me, did you wreck the car and are just—too embarrassed to confess?"

Carlisle opened his mouth, closed it. On the one hand—a pipe really had flown through his windshield out of nowhere. Why would he ever make something like that up? On the other hand—

"Yes, I am—terribly sorry," Carlisle said, now earning even further disbelieving looks from his family, Edward's jaw practically falling to the floor, "I was caught in the moment listening to—David Bowie and somehow didn't notice. Very intense air guitaring at that. I thought I could get away with it. I was wrong. Very wrong. I am terribly sorry, Rosalie."

Then, after a pause, he added, "I will gladly drive the Volvo."

For a moment she said nothing. She just stared at him in shock and horror, then, "Carlisle!"

She looked over at the rest of the family, to Edward specifically, for some spark of shared sanity.

Edward, however, had before this moment been the worst driver of them all (though he refused to admit it) and hadn't seemed to recover from the shock that Carlisle had had the world's most ridiculous accident or that he would be driving either a BMW or Aston Martin to school.

Well, Rosalie would be driving, she refused to allow Edward to touch the BMW and the Aston Martin had been banished for special occasions only.

"Well," Emmett finally said, "Glad you had a—day, Carlisle. I—"

He looked over at Rosalie, hissed in her ear, "Babe, can you help me think of anything? I'm going blank here. There has to be a punchline for this moment."

Rosalie, however, didn't appear to have time for Emmett today.

"Carlisle are you—alright?" Edward finally asked then, concentrating, he noted, "You're blocking something."

"Embarrassing details of my embarrassing accident," Carlisle quickly covered, "But that's—not beside the point, I really am very sorry—but I have more important news."

"As do Alice and I," Edward interjected before Carlisle could get a word in. Then, with a breath and nod towards Alice, he launched into his story, "Alice and I scouted town today and found nothing. Not a thought out of place, no hint of a vision of anyone targeting the family, nothing."

Well—

Carlisle knew that he expected that but the family didn't. So, yes, that was important news.

"We'll search tomorrow as well," Edward declared, earning agreeing nods from the rest of the family. Well—not from Rosalie, who still seemed upset over the car and likely still thought these were just teenagers being a little too rambunctious.

But Jasper, at least, sent them some motion of acknowledgement.

"Tomorrow?" Carlisle asked, "But—what if you don't find anything tomorrow either?"

"Then we keep searching," Edward declared, "We will find them, sooner or later, they'll come back."

Carlisle forced his thoughts into a box, carefully locked and mediated, then asked, "Edward—what if you never find anything?"

Edward turned to give him an almost betrayed look and Carlisle hastily explained, "Whoever it was may very well have already left the area. I'm not saying we shouldn't be careful, of course, but—you can't waste your life searching for something that may or may not be there."

"Carlisle—"

"Edward, if you haven't caught their thoughts already, if Alice hasn't seen them, then it's looking more and more likely that they left town for good. I'm glad you searched town, I am, but unless anything more happens, I think it'd be best to just carry on."

Jasper gave Carlisle a very strange look, his lips curled into a frown, "What happened to leaving Forks?"

Dammit.

"I lost that vote," Carlisle pointed out with a strained laugh, not out of character as that still did vex him and if his family had been at all reasonable, they would have left already.

Jasper—did not seem impressed or convinced by that explanation. However, he kept his thoughts to himself.

Instead, it was Edward's turn to balk, "Carlisle I—the family depends on Alice and me for protection. Without us, there's no first line of defense, no warning that anything else might be coming! What if you're wrong, Carlisle? We could all be in danger!"

"And if they are coming back then they'll come for us, Alice will see it, or else you'll see them in person," Carlisle pointed out, "Edward, go back to school."

For a moment, Edward just looked back at Carlisle, his expression all youthful challenge and rebellion. Then he deflated, pouted, and nodded, "Fine, unless anything more happens—Alice and I will return to school."

"Great," Carlisle said, "In other news—"

"You met an alien," Jasper finished for him dully, blonde eyebrow raised.

The family—stared.

"Yes," Carlisle said after a pause, "I did and that's—why I dashed out of the house, actually, sorry about that as well."

"Because you met an alien," Rosalie said slowly.

"Yes."

For a moment, they just stared, then Rosalie stood, "That's it, I declare this meeting over."

"What?" Carlisle asked, but everyone else was starting to stand with her, including Edward and Alice.

"Carlisle, I'm sure I don't want to hear about why you showed up wearing practically nothing, soaking wet, and then ran out the window in a change of clothes," Rosalie said, already walking out the door, "I'm sure it's not embarrassing at all and definitely about aliens, but I have a car to attempt to fix."

Carlisle stopped, would have flushed were he human, and started, "No, that one is true, I swear—"

"Whatever it is, I'm sure you had a great time," Rosalie said, already having disappeared into the garage.

Emmett stopped in the doorway, gave Carlisle a look, then said in a whisper that was a little too loud, "You can tell me, Carlisle, I promise I'll never use it against you."

Which meant, of course, that he absolutely would the second he got a chance.

Then he was gone, then Alice, then Esme with a backward, apologetic, glance and—

Edward paused at the threshold, he gave Carlisle a look, something soul searching, "Carlisle, whatever happened—know that my feelings for you will never change. Though—perhaps you shouldn't drive any vehicle in the near future."

And they left Carlisle, standing there in the living room like a schmuck.

"No go, Cullen hates us."

Carlisle had ended up meeting Bella the next evening for a midnight snack at Dairy Queen several towns over.

She was making her way through no less than five supersized cookie dough blizzards. It was an impressive sight, to say the least. It also made Carlisle wonder just how Bella had survived for nine years on a lower middle-class income with that metabolism.

As for Carlisle—he felt torn on this meeting.

On the one hand, once again, he felt there was something shameful and clandestine about it all. Going so far outside of town, in the middle of the night to avoid recognition, with a girl not yet of legal age while his wife was at home—

Well, she knew where he was. The whole damn house knew. He'd made sure to shout it as he left the door.

He was meeting his alien friend, in case anyone was interested and wanted to know.

Esme had wished him a pleasant evening.

Everyone else—

Well, Carlisle supposed that Edward had already run out of the house to avoid the sound of Rosalie and Emmett making love like sea otters. So, he, at least, had an excuse.

The point was that it wasn't a secret, he'd said exactly where he was going and what he was up to, and if anyone cared to show the slightest bit of interest then he'd gladly introduce them.

Which was, sadly, exactly the problem.

Carlisle had realized, after the disastrous meeting that had gone nowhere except his humiliation, that if his family wasn't going to listen then—then it would be up to Bella to convince them herself.

Only, according to Bella, that was a doomed venture.

"What do you mean Edward hates you?" Carlisle asked, "Edward's not like that, he—may not have any strong feelings about you, but he certainly doesn't—"

"Nope," Bella interjected, mouth full of vanilla ice cream and cookie dough, "He hates us."

"How do you know that?" Carlisle asked.

"We smell," she said simply.

He blinked, "Bella, you don't—I mean, alright, to a vampire, you do, but that's not your fault—"

"You should have seen him the first day we walked into class," Bella said, not stopping her eating, "Have you seen Jaws?"

"Yes," Carlisle said warily, not liking where this was going.

"Well, his black eyes were like a doll's eyes—"

"Yes, yes," Carlisle hastily interjected, "I know the scene. I—really enjoy that movie, actually."

He just didn't like to hear Edward's eyes compared to a shark's.

Bella gave him her own shark-like smile, "He's a predator, Dr. Cullen, that's all."

"Yes, I—am well aware of that, but no more so than any of the rest of us, no more so than me," Carlisle said, motioning to himself, but Bella just kept smiling, as if she knew something dreadful that he didn't.

Then the expression was gone, she took another bite of ice cream, then said, "Our smell offends him, that's all. It's not about anything we did or anything we are, I wouldn't have been surprised if he didn't know our name. But that smell—he'll rationalize his hatred for us, make us small in his mind, but it's really about the smell."

Carlisle took a deep breath, putting his head into his hands, then, talking to the table, "Bella, I promise, he just doesn't know you. To him you're a face in the crowd who—alright, smells awful, but if he gets to know you then he can grow past that."

He then motioned to himself, "You mentioned that I smell, didn't you? And here we are, talking and eating ice cream together."

Again, though, there was something a little too knowing in her expression. All at once Carlisle wondered if he was talking to Bella Swan or Plus One. Or if, in fact, there was any distinction at all. He still wasn't clear on that.

"We're a little more—in touch with our roots," Bella finally settled on.

"Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Carlisle asked under his breath.

She heard him, of course, "It's not about smelling 'good' or smelling 'bad'. Scents are meant to convey information; they have no qualifiers. The 'good' or the 'bad' is a biological, instinctual, reaction to override what your overly developed cranium has chosen to forget. Waste smells awful, food smells good, and so on and so forth."

She motioned to him in his vampiric glory, "Your people smell dangerous, like apex predators, and something in disguise. In your scent we know exactly what you are, we always did, but that information does not offend us in any way. You have the ability to be dangerous, should you choose to, but we have decided that you will not choose to."

Then, taking another bite of ice cream, "And you're loaded and give us food."

Carlisle—was not sure if he should be impressed by that or else offended.

It certainly was a way of looking at the world, he supposed.

He decided to try again, "Look, Edward is a good man. I'll admit he's young and—prone to judging things before he should, but he means well, and he has a very good heart. And how hard is it to say a few words to him in Biology?"

"He's also very attractive," Bella said after a beat.

"What?" Carlisle asked.

"Attractive men are intimidating," Bella continued, "They make the heart go all jumpy and fluttery. It's very hard to talk to attractive men."

"—Am I not attractive?" Carlisle couldn't help but ask after a pause. She'd certainly never had any trouble talking to him. Her heart maintained a steady, nonplussed, rhythm.

"Oh, you're very attractive," Bella said, "But you're posing as a father of five, so even if you look at peak reproductive physical age, in the remnants of Bella Swan's monkey brain you've been safely labeled as 'middle aged' and 'unavailable'. Edward Cullen is seventeen, in high school, and the only member of his family reputedly not having sexual intercourse with a sibling."

Carlisle let out a very long sigh.

"I'm twenty-three, by the way," he noted to Bella. She didn't seem to care. Because apparently he'd been given the label 'middle aged' in her brain.

"What about the others?" he asked, deciding to give up on Edward for now.

"Could you try to talk to—Rosalie," he finally settled on, only to stop, "Maybe not Rosalie."

Rosalie hadn't paid much mind to Bella Swan, but she had been distinctly annoyed at the attention Bella had received from the school. Rosalie was generally level-headed, warm, and a steadfast companion to those she cared for, but she was also a teenage girl who couldn't see beyond her own nose.

She would not be welcoming to Bella Swan.

Unfortunately, that left—

Emmett, Alice, and Jasper.

"Jasper," he settled on.

Jasper would probably even be grateful for it, if alarmed, as Bella's scent would wash out everything else. Yes, he was posing as an older student, but he'd certainly welcome Bella sitting at a table with them at lunch.

And he was clever enough to realize that there was something off about Bella and that, perhaps, Carlisle really had been serious when he'd talked about aliens in the living room.

Yes, Jasper would figure it out.

"Try to—make conversation with Jasper," Carlisle said, "And I'll try to convince my family that you are actually what I say you are. Hopefully, we can meet somewhere in the middle."

Bella, all at once, stopped eating. She went perfectly still, almost as if she were a vampire, then her eyes met his, "Are you sure about that?"

"Why?" he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Can they be trusted?" she asked.

"Of course," Carlisle said, "Of course, I'd trust them with anything. They're my family and—I told you, we're non-violent. We make it a point not to eat sentient beings of any kind. They won't harm you."

She tilted her head, her expression—nothing human, and then said, "You're a good man, Carlisle Cullen, if a bit of a fool. If they turn on you, we will protect you. Well, as best we can, anyway."

Carlisle blinked and decided—he'd take that for what it was intended, "Thank you, Bella, though that won't be necessary."

She said nothing, just returned to her ice cream.

That didn't make him feel better.

Author's Note: Thanks to Vinelle for betaing the chapter. Thanks to readers and reviewers, reviews are much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight